expecto patronum

[cantislumens]

lay me down; jaidan & alfie

[seeing-thestrals]

Alfie’s throat tightened as his boyfriend’s voice cracked, wishing desperately he could take the pain away and hating that Jaidan blamed himself. “No,” He murmured while placing a light kiss to the back of his head, his hand resting on his arms so he could caress him softly with his finger tips. “This wasn’t your fault, love. What Finn did was unforgivable and just not right. You didn’t deserve that,” He whispered before placing another kiss to his hair. “Don’t thank me. I choose you over him any day. I would’ve done worse if I could,” He fell silent for a moment and continued to gently rub his boyfriend’s arm. “I should’ve been there,” He said tightly, guilt overcoming him. “I could’ve stopped him. I could’ve done something, at least.” Alfie didn’t know how to bring up what Benji told him. He didn’t want to force the topic, but he wanted to reassure Jaidan that there was nothing wrong with him and it was alright to be himself. “I’m so sorry, love,” He repeated quietly, his voice cracking a bit as he nuzzled his face in to his hair. 

[cantislumens]

Even though a small part of Jaidan knew that Alfie was right by saying it wasn’t his fault, the majority of him couldn’t help but think otherwise. He knew that this was who he was supposed to be, truly, but Jaidan also knew that if he hadn’t pushed so hard to be the person he was, none of this would’ve happened. “It is my fault,” he insisted, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of Alfie trying to comfort him, trying to assure him that the blame was all down to Finn and that he was innocent in the whole situation. He didn’t believe that. “If I hadn’t been — if I wasn’t such a freak, things would be okay, but I had to convince myself that I’d be okay like this if I let myself have it. How stupid of me.” Jaidan sucked in a shaky breath of air as he pressed his face into one of the pillows. “The only good thing I got out of being Jaidan was you, but... I’m not him. I was never supposed to be him in the first place.”

[cantislumens]

lay me down; jaidan & alfie

[seeing-thestrals]

Alfie rubbed at his tired eyes as he leaned against the cold castle wall. Benji’s news continued to run through his mind over and over again, his heart aching for Jaidan. He couldn’t blame him for believing that reverting to Alina was the best decision, but he knew Jaidan wold regret it if he followed through. He wished desperately he could go in and comfort him. Earlier in the week, he basically dumped Finn in front of the entire Great Hall, calling him everything from disgusting to the most vile thing to walk on earth. Needless to say, Finn was scarce around the castle lately, but he didn’t feel any better. Alfie jumped when the wall suddenly appeared, unable to process that he was finally being let in. Jumping to his feet, he entered the room and immediately spotted his boyfriend in a pillow pile. Silently, he padded over to him and settled down behind him, running a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, love,” He murmured quietly. “I love you so much, just know that, alright?”

[cantislumens]

Jaidan knew that the second he let Alfie in, the boy would be there. It was a thing that he’d learned, that Alfie cared about him a lot more than the boy had initially presumed he ever would, and that caring was enough to make Jaidan know that letting Alfie n was the right decision. He heard the movement behind him, the sound of the door shutting securely as Alfie made his way over to him and pressed up against his back. The touch was comforting, even though Jaidan felt like he should be pulling away, curling into a ball of his own and making sure that Alfie didn’t touch his messed-up self. “It’s all my fault,” he finally murmured, voice cracking in response to Alfie’s words. He knew that the boy loved him, he really did, but that didn’t stop him from knowing just how stupid he’d been to think that he could live the way he wanted and not face the consequences. “I — Benji told me what you did about...him. Thank you.” Jaidan wanted to turn around and bury his face into Alfie’s chest, but he couldn’t convince himself to do that, not when he felt so conflicted at the boy’s touch.

[cantislumens]

lay me down; jaidan & alfie

It’d been a week and a half since the incident, and no one had tried to barrel down the door of the Room of Requirement like Umbridge had back in third year. From the bits of news Benji had been bringing him, McGonnagal wasn’t going to punish him for missing all of his classes, but she also wasn’t allowed to do the things that would help him feel more comfortable about leaving this safety fort he’d made inside of the special room. Jaidan knew that Alfie was out there, waiting. Even if Benji hadn’t told him every chance that they could, Jaidan could feel the warmth of Alfie’s body through the wall, thanks to the room’s powers. He didn’t want to let the boy in, not in the slightest, but it was time, it was far past time. The more he thought about the boy, the more he wanted him there with him, but that didn’t stop the pure fear that Jaidan felt every time he thought about seeing Alfie again. Despite that, he pushed past the fear just enough to give himself that moment of courage and let the room know that Alfie could come in, that the door could appear just for him.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan; ft: benji

[seeing-thestrals]

Benji took a careful step back when he realized he startled Jaidan. It physically hurt them to see him so panicked. Benji never thought anyone would find out about Jaidan, there wasn’t a reason for anyone to know, but there was a huge crowd swarmed around them, eyes wide as they observed the scene. Benji knew they had to get them away from Jaidan, so he could have some space. “Fuck off,” They shouted, moving towards the crowd and pushing some people out of the way. “Don’t pay him any mind, this isn’t your business,” They tried. Some people seemed to break out of their shock and led their friends away from the scene, but a handful of people were still gawking at their brother. It was enough to get Jaidan away though. “C’mon, Jaidan,” Benji murmured, gently placing an elbow on his back to lead him through the clearing, making an effort to glare at anyone who was still staring at him. 

[cantislumens]

Benji’s attempt to get people to leave snapped Jaidan out of his tense, frozen state. He wrapped the cloak securely around himself, ducking his head to keep from meeting the curious stares that were mixed with laughter and pity from his fellow students. He tried not to see them, but that didn’t stop him from seeing them when he closed his eyes. The feeling of Benji’s elbow on his back had Jaidan jolting away from the touch and he looked up just enough to see the clear path ahead before he pulled the cloak tighter around himself and ran. Jaidan had no idea where he was going, but he needed to get somewhere out of sight, somewhere where people wouldn’t find him to ask nosy questions and pry into something that wasn’t theirs to know. The Room of Requirement was the obvious choice, but it required a method to it, a process of pacing back and forth thinking of the thing you needed and Jaidan didn’t have that kind of calm right now. He ran, trying to escape up the stairs to a corridor that wasn’t filled with students, one where he could lock himself in an empty classroom or an unused broom closet. At this point, Jaidan didn’t even care that he’d left his wand behind with the tattered pile of fabric, just that he needed to be somewhere where no one else was around; somewhere he could properly break down.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan; ft: benji

[seeing-thestrals]

Benji frowned in confusion as everyone seemed to be heading towards the Room of Requirement, hushed whispers and gasps coming from around the corner. Curious, they pushed through the crowd and stopped dead when they saw their brother’s tattered trousers fall to the floor. Dread filled their stomach, their eyes filling with tears for their brother’s sake. When they saw Finn standing in front of their brother, wand pointed at him, Benji didn’t think twice before pulling their own out and shouting “Stupefy!” The spell hit Finn directly in the back, causing the Gryffindor to crumple to the ground. They elbowed someone out of the way, muttering “move” under their breath before hesitantly moving towards Jaidan. “Jaidan,” they breathed, unclasping their cloak as they slid it off their shoulders. “Take my cloak.”  

[cantislumens]

The panic that had Jaidan frozen in place was enough to keep him from fully reacting to the sight of Finn being stunned. The part of him that normally would feel relief at the action was lost to the knowledge that he was surrounded by fellow students who were staring at him, mocking him and spreading the truth that he’d hoped would forever stay nothing more than a rumour around to each other. He couldn’t imagine what they were saying, but when he felt a presence by his side, heard words being spoken to him, Jaidan froze up and backed away from the presence. “Don’ttouchme,” he rushed, words a jumbled mess until he realised that it was Benji offering him his cloak. Jaidan took it with a shaky hand, wrapping the fabric around himself to cover up his naked bottom half. before his gaze darted around, trying to plan an escape.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

[seeing-thestrals]

Finn continued to laugh lowly to himself, amused by Jaidan’s attempts to prove what he was saying was a lie. If only he took a picture of what he saw, then everyone would know. Realistically, Finn knew that there was no way he could prove he was telling the truth, unless the crowd saw it for themselves. A smile spread slowly on his lips as it came to him. “It is true, Wolfe. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself,” Aiming his wand at Jaidan’s trousers and muttered “Difindo” twice, once to sever his trousers, a second time to sever his pants, the tattered fabric falling to the floor. The reaction from the crowd was instant. Finn briefly wondered if he took it too far, but he quickly pushed it back, keeping the sick grin glued to his face. 

[cantislumens]

Before he could even have a moment to respond to Finn’s words, the boy’s spells were taking effect. Jaidan desperately tried to grab at the clothing before it got torn to bits, but the fabric slipped from his grip and the panic hit harder, overwhelming him. He couldn’t do this, this couldn’t happen here of all places, and with everyone watching— The Slytherin’s wand slipped from his hand as he tried to cover himself, doing his best to stop anyone seeing the truth as uneven breaths escaped his lips. He needed to get out of there, needed to pick up his wand and accio a pair of pants to him to try and maintain some dignity, but the only thing going through his mind as he was frozen in place was the repeated thoughts of ‘They know. They all know.’ Jaidan couldn’t move, not in this state, and definitely not with Finn’s smug face lording over him with the knowledge that he’d spread his deepest secret to the entire school.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

[seeing-thestrals]

Finn was quick to pull out his own wand as soon as he saw Jaidan whip his out. He had a number of hexes and jinxes he could use on the Slytherin, but for now he settled for intimidation, leering at him as the crowd continued to gather around. “A tranny,” He spat like the word was poison on his tongue. “As in you’ve got a  pussy. Blokes haven’t got those last time I checked,” He sneered. He peered at the crowd, laughing wildly when he saw the shock on their faces. “Hear that? Jaidan Wolfe is really a girl, not a very pretty one at that. He’s had Alfie confounded this entire time, it’s obvious.” It was the only explanation. Alfie would never go for Jaidan otherwise. 

[cantislumens]

There was so much that Jaidan could say at this point. If he had more courage, he’d just negate Finn’s words by stating the truth, that he does have a vagina but it doesn’t make him any less of a man. He wouldn’t, though. Those words are ones that Jaidan would never confess, solely due to his family name and status within the Slytherin house. “I’m not a fucking bird,” he snapped back at the boy. “No matter how much you try and say it, it’s not going to make it come true, so how about you shut your bloody mouth before I do it for you, and not in a pleasant way.” Jaidan’s grip tightened on his wand, just barely able to resist the urge to curse the arrogant bastard that stood in front of him. He wanted to maim him and was possibly angry enough to use an Unforgivable on him, but at the same time Jaidan was concerned at what lengths Finn would go to to try and prove his point.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

[seeing-thestrals]

“I know what I saw,” Finn growled, his chest heaving from the anger that was flooding through him. He couldn’t help but find some sort of sick pleasure in the whole situation though, knowing something that would destroy the other’s reputation. He could hear footsteps grow closer, clearly their altercation gaining some attention. “I saw him fucking you, up against the locker. You had your legs wrapped around him like a slag,” As his voice raised, more people began to surround them, their hushed whispers sounding through the hall. “He was fucking you, because you’re a fucking tranny. Isn’t that right, Wolfe?” He grinned, a manic laugh escaping his lips. 

[cantislumens]

Jaidan had been perfectly ready to counteract Finn’s statements up until he used the word that had Jaidan shutting down. He’d always been afraid of being called that word, and hearing Finn use it so blatantly and announcing it to the crowd of students around them had him lost, unsure of what to do. That moment of stillness was enough to ignite the panic within him, but also caused the anger he was feeling to flare up. Jaidan’s hand was instantly around the base of his wand, pulling it from his robes as his tone turned sharp and cold. “What the hell did you just dare to call me?” he breathed out, a plethora of hexes and jinxes coming to mind to use on Finn. He wished he hadn’t promised Draco that he’d never use the Sectumsempra curse on any of the Gryffindors, because that promise extended to the trash standing in front of him, and he couldn’t break it, not when he was almost done with his last year at Hogwarts.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

[seeing-thestrals]

“Of course you do,” He smirked as he inched in closer to the Slytherin. After years of hatred, throwing jinxes, Finn finally had what he needed to destroy Jaidan’s life. “I knew I was right when I said you haven’t got a cock, because you don’t,” He spat. Alfie was Finn’s best mate. He accepted it when the other told him he liked men, but he would never accept Jaidan. He wanted him out of Alfie’s life ever since he saw them together. “I saw you two in the locker room a few weeks ago. Wasn’t your arse he was fucking, was it? I knew you had him under some sort of curse. There’s no fucking way he chose you willingly.” 

[cantislumens]

“Listen,” Jaidan said coldly, his tone biting as he reacted to Finn’s aggressive attitude, getting in the boy’s personal space. “I don’t know what you think you saw in that twisted mind of yours, but unless you’ve got permission to explore what I have in my trousers, I suggest you chalk it up to a mistake on your part and move on. Honestly, this whining you’ve got going on is bloody exhausting, so get over it. Alfie picked me, it’s been two years. Grow the fuck up.” Jaidan knocked his shoulder into Finn’s arm as he roughly pushed past him, more interested in locking himself in the Room of Requirement than he was being anywhere near the obnoxious Gryffindor for a moment longer.

[seeing-thestrals]

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

Finn was on his way to the Room of Requirement to begin his course work when he spotted Jaidan heading in the same direction. Just the sight of him caused his blood to boil from the extreme hatred he had for the boy–if he could even call him that anymore. With a sickening smirk, he made his way toward the other and grabbed his elbow. “Wolfe,” He greeted, leering at him as he looked him up and down. “One question, does he it get wet when you’re with Alfie?” He laughed darkly. “All this time, I thought he was gay, but it turns out he’s just in to manly-looking women. We all have our kinks, I guess.”

[seeing-thestrals]

[cantislumens]

The second Jaidan spotted Finn, he knew that he wasn’t going to have a good encounter with the boy. There was something about his attitude that just screamed ‘fight me’ and Jaidan knew that he probably wouldn’t get out of this interaction without a few jinxes thrown. “Don’t fucking touch me,” Jaidan responded as he ripped his arm out of Finn’s grip, eyes narrowing as the Gryffindor threw out a question. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” he responded, not letting the internal panic that hit the second Finn spoke arise in hopes that he’d be able to get out of this situation smoothly. 

[seeing-thestrals]

life imitating art | poppy & lavalet

[seeing-thestrals]

Poppy could only blink at the other as he explained the faerie houses. Suddenly, she understood why he seemed so familiar. He was very similar to her book character, Lavalet. In the outline, she wrote a bit about Lavalet and his mum, which was sort of disappointing, because she thought she was being unique. Pushing the disappointment aside, she focused on the instructions. It sounded fairly complicated, but Poppy was confident she could build one as well if he put her up to the test. Staring at the other with a stern expression on her face, she tried to figure out the proper way to respond. The last thing she wanted to do was blow things out of proportion and become emotional, but she just couldn’t understand what the stranger’s issue was. “Are you a muggle born?” She asked crossly, still not convinced it wasn’t a practical joke. “Didn’t you research Hogwarts at all before you arrived? Even Muggle borns know what the sorting process is,” Poppy knew she sounded like a snob, but continued anyway. “When you’re enrolled at Hogwarts, you get placed in to the house that best fits your personality. You attend classes and live with the other students in your house. For instance, I’m a Ravenclaw,” She explained while gesturing to her blue striped tie.

[cantislumens]

Everything that the girl seemed to be saying at this point was confusing to Lavalet. He felt like he was supposed to know what she was talking about, but at the same time he wasn't entirely sure and things seemed to be misleading with her words. "I don't know what you're saying exactly," he explained slowly as he set down the stick that he had been holding since he'd first been deciding where to place it. "What's a muggle, exactly?" He tilted his head curiously at her. "I'm guessing that this place is Hogwarts, but maybe this is just a test? I feel like I'm failing, which I know my mum wouldn't be too happy about." Lavalet debated what exactly he should say at this point, knowing that the girl probably thought he was insane for not knowing what she was talking about. "The sorting thing sounds cool, I suppose. But at the same time, living in a place with a bunch of people who are the same sounds like it could get really annoying. If Ravenclaw means blue, what do the other colours mean? I don't think I'd be a Ravenclaw, not a huge fan of blue. I like orange best, but... I feel like that colour's not a place here?"

[seeing-thestrals]

Burying his face in Jaidan’s neck, Alfie let out a breathy moan. Fucking Jaidan in the locker room, where anyone could walk in any minute, reminded him of fifth year when everything was still new and dangerous. Every time with Jaidan was bloody brilliant, but there was something about hurried, rough sex that drove him mad. “Not planning on it,” He mumbled before pulling back to give him a bruising kiss, pushing his tongue messily between his lips. Alfie made sure Jaidan was steady before thrusting in to him harder, the lockers creaking loudly from the impact. “Anyone could hear,” He whispered against his lips as he rolled his hips at a brutal pace, sweat beginning to pool at his forehead. 

[cantislumens]

This was exactly what Jaidan needed, what he craved. He was high off of the feeling of Alfie fucking him, and the metal digging into his back only encouraged his desire. He was always interested in the rough sex, the kinky things; when it was hard and hurt, that was what turned Jaidan on the most. The problem with having rough locker room sex was that anyone could come in, and if they did, they could learn Jaidan's secret. That wasn't the boy wanted, but at the moment, he didn't care. "Good," Jaidan breathed out just before Alfie kissed him. The boy responded with eagerness, pressing hard in response to the kiss, desiring intensity to the point where he could taste blood in his mouth at the end of it. Jaidan broke the kiss to moan at the feeling of Alfie fucking him roughly, because the pleasure that he was experiencing was amazing, almost better than usual. "Let them," he breathed out, not even bothering to try and keep his voice down as his head rolled back into the locker. "I don't bloody care who hears, just keep this up, make me come." The rough, fast-paced rhythm was exactly what Jaidan needed right now, and if Alfie kept this up, the boy knew he'd hit orgasm a lot quicker than usual.

[seeing-thestrals]

"Just wanted to make sure you’re ready, babe," Alfie panted, eyes fluttering as Jaidan mouthed at his jaw. "Get your feet out," He instructed as he nudged his boyfriend’s trousers and pants down further, kicking them to the side once they were off. Dipping down, he nipped at Jaidan’s collarbone and sucked the skin between his teeth. He tugged down his own pants and grabbed Jaidan’s thighs. "Hold on," He murmured before lifting him up and pressing him in to the lockers. Pushing his hips forward, he held Jaidan up as he gripped his cock and guided himself inside. Alfie shivered with a tight groan as he felt Jaidan surround him. "You okay, love?" He asked breathlessly, while pressing messy kisses to his neck. 

[cantislumens]

"Always ready for you," Jaidan breathed out, tilting his head back as a moan built up in the back of his throat. He was almost lost in the moment, and if it weren't for Alfie's statement, he might not have even thought about stepping out of the pool of fabric around his ankles. Jaidan quickly manoeuvred out of the pants and boxers, chuckling slightly when Alfie kicked them aside. "Gonna need those after, you know," he mumbled before getting completely lost in the feeling of Alfie marking himself on Jaidan's collarbone. The second Alfie secured his grip on Jaidan's thighs, the boy hooked his arms securely around the back of his boyfriend's neck, keeping his grip in place for counterbalance as he was pushed back into the lockers. Moments like these reminded Jaidan of how much he'd loved when they'd first started hooking up in these rooms, the feeling of metal scraping against his back and leaving scratches that would remind him of Alfie, and the occasional cut that would come from being pushed back into the open metal slots. He let out a noise of desire the second that Alfie pushed himself inside of him, and Jaidan responded with a barely-there nod, fingernails digging into Alfie's back through the fabric of his shirt as he breathed out a, "Keep going. Don't you bloody slow down on me now."

[seeing-thestrals]

Alfie let out a low groan, his boyfriend’s pleas going straight to his already straining cock. Sealing his lips over Jaidan’s in a heated kiss, his hands dropped to his trousers before quickly unbuttoning them and pushing them down to his knees. He broke the kiss and began to suck his way down Jaidan’s neck, biting down on his warm skin to leave a deep purple mark. With a impatient moan, he tugged down Jaidan’s boxers and slipped his hand between his legs, the wetness between them causing his stomach to clench. “Fuck, I want you,” He cursed against his neck as he slipped a finger inside. He wanted to get down on his knees and run his tongue along him, but he was too eager to be inside him.

[cantislumens]

It never took much to rile Alfie up, Jaidan knew, and if he weren't as horny as he was he would revel in it and make things harder for his boyfriend. Instead, he helped him, shuffling out of his trousers as best as he could when Alfie undid them. "Fuck," he breathed out, angling his neck to give Alfie better access. If he didn't have at least one hickey by the end of this all, he would make Alfie leave him with one. The feeling of Alfie's hand on his crotch had Jaidan's hips bucking forward, especially with the hypersensitivity that came with the potions. "Then take me already," he breathed out, turning his head as he searched for Alfie's lips. Alfie's finger inside of him had Jaidan breathlessly laughing as his hand slid up the boy's shirt. "Just one finger, love?" he teased, lips mouthing the words against Alfie's jaw. "Why even bother? Skip the foreplay and fuck me senseless."

[seeing-thestrals]

"Because I’m a good mate. Alfie seems to think so. When the circumstances prior means him being a death eater than I think it matters.  Your family has everything to do with this. You come from a long line of Slytherins, some of them being death eaters, and if that’s not a good enough reason to want you away from Alfie then I don’t know what is."

[cantislumens]

"How about you shut the fuck up. He was a good person and you wouldn't understand the circumstances behind what he got into. I'm not a bloody death eater and just because people in my family were doesn't mean I've got any interest in that shit. I'm not my family, arsehole. Maybe if I say it a few thousand more times you'll actually get that in your brain and stop judging me solely on that."

[seeing-thestrals]

“Fuck. If that’s what you want, then that’s what I’ll do. Want you to feel me for hours—days. That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m me. I’ll tell you my most important date when I’m not about to fuck you up against the locker, love.”

[cantislumens]

"That's what I want. I want to feel you forever, leave me marks so I can't forget. Fuck me, please — and tell me everything cheesy and romantic later. Just do me, babe, I need to feel you everywhere."

[seeing-thestrals]

"I’m not saying I need to be the centre of his attention. I’m just telling you that I’m more important than you. Best mates over boyfriends. Maybe not, but your family doesn’t help much, considering one was a death eater and all."

[cantislumens]

"I don't know why anyone would call you a best mate when you act like this. My family's got nothing to do with this. You can't judge a person based on their family, and Alo was a better person that you ever were. He died defending this castle, not attacking it. The circumstances prior to that don't matter."