...God, help me.

[d6b-onion]

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

No.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Update: was going to say "No. This is." With a picture of said field, but I fell 20ft, dislocated my thumb, put it back in joint.

Now I've got Earl Grey and an itchy bandage on my hand while sat on a shit sofa.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

My phone also died

[rye-bread-call]

Shit Ghost, you alright now tho right?

And OUCH that could have not felt good.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

The bandage is my fault.

It's vet wrap.

It's itchy.

I think my skin may or may not either like or be allergic to something I fell in.

But most importantly it's itchy.

[captain-john-price]

Si, what pain meds have you had?

Also, where in Man are you?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Down that big lane. The one with that tiny orchard.

[captain-john-price]

...Why are you at my place?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Wanted to say hi.

[captain-john-price]

What meds have you had, Si?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Painkillers from the top cabinet in the kitchen.

[captain-john-price]

How many?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

4.

[captain-john-price]

Go throw up.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

No.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Update: was going to say "No. This is." With a picture of said field, but I fell 20ft, dislocated my thumb, put it back in joint.

Now I've got Earl Grey and an itchy bandage on my hand while sat on a shit sofa.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

My phone also died

[rye-bread-call]

Shit Ghost, you alright now tho right?

And OUCH that could have not felt good.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

The bandage is my fault.

It's vet wrap.

It's itchy.

I think my skin may or may not either like or be allergic to something I fell in.

But most importantly it's itchy.

[captain-john-price]

Si, what pain meds have you had?

Also, where in Man are you?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Down that big lane. The one with that tiny orchard.

[captain-john-price]

...Why are you at my place?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Wanted to say hi.

[captain-john-price]

What meds have you had, Si?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Painkillers from the top cabinet in the kitchen.

[captain-john-price]

How many?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

No.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Update: was going to say "No. This is." With a picture of said field, but I fell 20ft, dislocated my thumb, put it back in joint.

Now I've got Earl Grey and an itchy bandage on my hand while sat on a shit sofa.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

My phone also died

[rye-bread-call]

Shit Ghost, you alright now tho right?

And OUCH that could have not felt good.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

The bandage is my fault.

It's vet wrap.

It's itchy.

I think my skin may or may not either like or be allergic to something I fell in.

But most importantly it's itchy.

[captain-john-price]

Si, what pain meds have you had?

Also, where in Man are you?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Down that big lane. The one with that tiny orchard.

[captain-john-price]

...Why are you at my place?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Wanted to say hi.

[captain-john-price]

What meds have you had, Si?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

No.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Update: was going to say "No. This is." With a picture of said field, but I fell 20ft, dislocated my thumb, put it back in joint.

Now I've got Earl Grey and an itchy bandage on my hand while sat on a shit sofa.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

My phone also died

[rye-bread-call]

Shit Ghost, you alright now tho right?

And OUCH that could have not felt good.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

The bandage is my fault.

It's vet wrap.

It's itchy.

I think my skin may or may not either like or be allergic to something I fell in.

But most importantly it's itchy.

[captain-john-price]

Si, what pain meds have you had?

Also, where in Man are you?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Down that big lane. The one with that tiny orchard.

[captain-john-price]

...Why are you at my place?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

No.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Update: was going to say "No. This is." With a picture of said field, but I fell 20ft, dislocated my thumb, put it back in joint.

Now I've got Earl Grey and an itchy bandage on my hand while sat on a shit sofa.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

My phone also died

[rye-bread-call]

Shit Ghost, you alright now tho right?

And OUCH that could have not felt good.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

The bandage is my fault.

It's vet wrap.

It's itchy.

I think my skin may or may not either like or be allergic to something I fell in.

But most importantly it's itchy.

[captain-john-price]

Si, what pain meds have you had?

Also, where in Man are you?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[captain-john-price]

But that's a field.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Man.

[captain-john-price]

Good to know you've touched grass for once, lieutenant.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

[captain-john-price]

Wait, where are you at the minute?

[pyronado-moved]

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

[demonicsymphony]

And if you’re in the notes or tags telling us to “just get a new tag”

Fuck You

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

You need a hug… like the kind that crushes your ribs almost

No.

[captain-john-price]

...Didn't say that yesterday, Si...

[pyronado-moved]

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

[demonicsymphony]

And if you’re in the notes or tags telling us to “just get a new tag”

Fuck You

[sleepysoapy]

I'm sick as a dog, but I still want to smash out one of my smutty headcannons before the end of the day.

Which scenario do you want to read?

Johnny topping Simon for the first time

TF141 finding reader's romance books

Voting ended onJun 1

[phillip-shadow-graves]

Seeing this rn and wondering why Johnny can't top Ghost. 😕

[alejandro-los-vaqueros-vargas]

I nearly choked-

WHAT??

[phillip-shadow-graves]

Exactly, why can't Johnny top?

[captain-john-price]

.....Nope, not getting involved.

[phillip-shadow-graves]

....Why do I feel so unloved?

[alejandro-los-vaqueros-vargas]

Because you are, cabron.

[phillip-shadow-graves]

Rude.

[rodolfo-parra-los-vaqueros]

...

And the toddlers are at it again.

[rye-bread-call]

The girls are fighting…. again

[phillip-shadow-graves]

It's not my fault his Mexican ass commented on my post.

[rodolfo-parra-los-vaqueros]

....And now it escalates to racism...

[phillip-shadow-graves]

Not racism. Tactical insult.

[alejandro-los-vaqueros-vargas]

Rudy, I wish to choose violence.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

For the love of God, would you two shut the fuck up already?!

[captain-john-price]

Jesus christ, I'm too old for this shit.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

How’s it going, Ghost? Johnny still being pain in the ass?

Johnny doesn't like Winston. Johnny has therefore been well-behaved.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Winston is a lonely, male Giant House Spider looking for a date in the rec room.

He enjoys long, moonlit walks with a cool breeze, his favourite color is peach, he's quite shy and is looking for an adventurous partner to serenade.

If interested, call:

0800-LONELY-SPIDER-666.

[rye-bread-call]

Price… should I get the broom

@captain-john-price

[captain-john-price]

...That spider is the only thing keeping his neurodivergent ass sane at the minute.

Let him have this.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

I'M RIGHT HERE.

[captain-john-price]

Yes.

And?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

I'll set Winston on you.

[rodolfo-parra-los-vaqueros]

This is Jennifer.

Jennifer is a Long-Bodied Cellar Spider.

She enjoys chasing boys, hiking and crafting.

She's looking for a partner who is calm and reserved, mature and with a bit of meat on their bones.

If interested, call:

0800-MAMMA-LONG-LEGS-123

[phillip-shadow-graves]

I vote to kill Jennifer.

[rodolfo-parra-los-vaqueros]

I vote to kill you.

[captain-john-price]

....God give me patience.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

How’s it going, Ghost? Johnny still being pain in the ass?

Johnny doesn't like Winston. Johnny has therefore been well-behaved.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Winston is a lonely, male Giant House Spider looking for a date in the rec room.

He enjoys long, moonlit walks with a cool breeze, his favourite color is peach, he's quite shy and is looking for an adventurous partner to serenade.

If interested, call:

0800-LONELY-SPIDER-666.

[rye-bread-call]

Price… should I get the broom

@captain-john-price

[captain-john-price]

...That spider is the only thing keeping his neurodivergent ass sane at the minute.

Let him have this.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

I'M RIGHT HERE.

[captain-john-price]

Yes.

And?

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

I'll set Winston on you.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

How’s it going, Ghost? Johnny still being pain in the ass?

Johnny doesn't like Winston. Johnny has therefore been well-behaved.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

Winston is a lonely, male Giant House Spider looking for a date in the rec room.

He enjoys long, moonlit walks with a cool breeze, his favourite color is peach, he's quite shy and is looking for an adventurous partner to serenade.

If interested, call:

0800-LONELY-SPIDER-666.

[rye-bread-call]

Price… should I get the broom

@captain-john-price

[captain-john-price]

...That spider is the only thing keeping his neurodivergent ass sane at the minute.

Let him have this.

[ask-simon-ghost-riley-141]

I'M RIGHT HERE.

[captain-john-price]

Yes.

And?