40 Day Dream

I am he as you are me and we are all together;

[hot-curvygirls]

“>More Photo

[hot-curvygirls]

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

"Sacrifices gotta be made.."

What the fuck do you think I've been doing since June?

Since he got this second job, his dream career, I've sacrificed precious time that was integral to our relationship. I do it unasked. I could leave (ha ha not really), but I'm trying to support his dream. I'm at home until 730-830, waiting for him to come home and sit on the couch on Facebook. Just to get a moment of time with him.

I don't get put first by him, or so I don't feel like I do. I don't get spontaneous things that are his idea. Fuck, I don't even get consecutive alone time.

Don't talk to me about things being about sacrifices until you're in my position. You're making yours, but don't force mine when I'm already giving and feeling like I'm getting little in return!

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

I'm a shitty selfish person.

I ask for someone to come get me, I'm frustrated because I always have to put the effort to get into town. No one ever offers to come get me, even when I'm included in plans, and I mean I understand why. But two fridays ago you took him all the way downtown, which is just as much diesel to get to and from our house.

M

[wwhatfinn]

[arthurtheangryaxolotl]

Still hate myself and I want to die

Feel like i have no body in my life

That I can talk to without fear

Just wanna get the fuck out of here

Sick of smiling and living a lie

The hate sears and burns my insides

The only logical choice seems to be death

I have no fight left in my chest

But I can’t, I can’t let my people down

Block out the voices that tell me to bow out

I know I’m useless, hopeless, without a doubt

I’m worn out but I gotta carry on

Somehow

[sotallitssad]

i’m useless

stop worrying about me

i just want to be forgotten

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

And you wonder why I ask you if you've grown tired of me.

You are working 2 jobs, I understand that's tiring, but you put more effort into plans with your friends than with me I begin to wonder.

Am I too fat? Did I say the wrong thing? Is our relationship coming to an end? Am I too clingy? Am I too outspoken? Am I just a bed warmer?

Because right now, that's all I feel like. Like it would be better if I just left, because maybe you'd care. But then again you probably wouldn't. Cause when does anyone ever care about big fat lumpy 'ol me.

[childofvenusandmars]

Behind the Scenes of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975)

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

Tw suicide

Maybe if i cry enough my eyes will swell shut and my nose will fill so i cant breathe and won't wake up.

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

I'm just a fat annoying can't do anything right unattractive clingy lump. You may as well just admit I'm too much and leave.

[tedwardforrester]

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

Will you still love me?

Will you still love me on the days I am at my worst?

The days where your patience grows thin, when my heart gets heavier?

The days where I feel I cannot continue, that my body wishes to become one with the universe again?

The days where 6 feet under seems calmer than continuing to breathe?

The days where your 80 needs to be a 20, but I cannot give anymore?

The days where I'm all over and chaotic, where it seems like the frantic will never end?

The day I tell you I've self harmed, will you be able to look me in the eye and tell me you still love me? That I'm worthy and you're not going anywhere?

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

Tw: sad stuff

Tfw you finally find out you are a burden. Suddenly you feel so small and so alone and so unsure.

Do I unplug my phone and go somewhere, hoping that maybe I'm worth looking for, or do I sit here alone in the dark, and cry myself to sleep?

I'm unsure of my confidence. I'm unsure of myself. I'm a broken record who can't seem to glue her own pieces back together.

I'm hard on my boyfriend. I can't take anyone's advice.

He must just love me out of convienince.

How do you tell someone you're better off dead?

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

From 235 to 217!

[captainofmysoulmorrighan]

I just.

She fucking lied to you about something pretty fucking big about the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. What the fuck else is she saying bout me to You?

I know she's your best friends girl, but like If she's more interesting why keep being with me.

[foxy-filly]

I’m sorry, we need to take a short break from horses to appreciate that my boyfriend’s cat has a treadmill, and she will only run on it if she has an audience.

[officialfist]

This is really important