Ilya is chronically online so of course he saw this trend on tiktok and it's ridiculous and a bit cheesy but despite himself he has to snort in amusement whenever he sees another video of it. he knows the exasperated look Shane will give him and that alone is reason enough to try it out.
it's too easy really, the next time they go shopping (yes, occasionally these divas go shopping especially since Shane found comfort in a better style), Shane instinctively grabs one bag after the other form the cashiers. they walk through the streets vaguely back to their car but Ilya really is in a splurging mood and gets more and more bags with toys for Anya, a new watch he will never wear, a hair care gift set for Sveta, you name it. each bag he presses into Shane's already full hands and dashes off to find another thing to buy and hand over to his dutiful husband.
as usual when they are out in the city, Shane doesn't say much. he doesn't complain about the 15th bag to hold, he just takes it with a stern face and an increasing eagerness to get back to the car.
Ilya falls a few steps behind, stealthily starts recording a video of
Shane marching infront of him, packed like a mule. Ilya manages to sound relatively miserable when he finally asks: "Solnyshko, why are you not holding my hand right now?"
Shane immediately stops in his tracks to turn around, Ilya is so ready to get laserbeamed with the hollander glare of annoyance and a devastating quip, but...but instead a frowning Shane looks genuinely alarmed, as if he would have forgotten something important. "Oh, right", he mutters and immediately pushes the bags over his forearm to reach for Ilya out with his left hand. fuck. after all Shane is just too good for this world. Ilya is too stunned to speak for a moment and glad to take his husband's hand and let himself be guided through the streets.
of course Ilya needs to try again. his husband is a total bitch and ilya loves it so much when he gets Shane to show it. why must shane ruin a funny video by being so sweet and caring and genuine and so shane?
A few weeks latery, the Cens are due for a roadtrip and Shane and Ilya arrive at the training center for the bus that will shuttle them to their plane. Shane unloads their suitcases, as he always does, and is suprised to see as Ilya begins to grab a few bags from the backseats. PlayStation for team bonding, new skates he might wanna try, extra bathrobes, and some things more, Ilya casually explains. Shane just hums and grabs their two suitcases. Ilya just shoves another bunch of full bags towards Shane, which he wordlessly accepts and stacks on the suitcases. They make their way over the parking lot, and Ilya, basically baggage free, sneakily angels his phone to start another video. "I can't believe your not holding my hand right now", he sighs dramatically. That surely must get a rise out of Shane. He can almost see these useless bags flying in his face.He should have known better. Shane immediately shifts the suitcases so he grabs both handles with one hand, and offers his free hand to Ilya with a little smile. "Sorry."
Fucking hell. He even said sorry. Goddam polite canadian husband. Ruining Ilya's evil plans and his sanity at once. When Shane's fingers wrap around Ilya's, Ilya is actually grateful to have something to hold on to.
For his next attempt, Ilya tries to be more sneaky. If he wants to rile Shane up, he has to take the game to the only place where Shane won't let him get away with any nonsense. And he needs backup.
Ilya chooses the next training and Luca Haas as his secret the camera man, who is the only one gullible enough to obey his captain's ridiculous demands without asking any questions. Ilya makes clear that he doesn't care how Luca sneaks the phone inside the rink just that he has to be ready and discreet ones Ilya gives the sign. And sure as hell he is.
Shane just sets to fire some warm up shots at Wyatt from the blue line when Ilya smoothly skates next to him and lightly swings his stick around.
"Don't you like holding my hand?", he ask woefully and in great expectation of Shane telling him to stop distracting him at work.
Shane turns towards him slowly and cocks his head. "Why would you say that?"
"We are not holding hands right now", Ilya pouts,.
"Oh." Shane nods and looks down at his gloved hands at his stick. "Yeah that is a problem."
And before Ilya can grasp it, Shane drops the glove of his left hand and lays it on top of Ilya's right.
Ilya's brain is melting into a puddle of goo and he is so annoyed by it. And by Shane. But mostly there is just warm fuzzy goo.
He swears he can hear Luca say "aww" which pretty much sums it up.
Shane's eyes catches Ilyas gaze again and smiles so softly and Ilya wants to sink into these deep pools of brown- when Shane's smile turns a bit lopsided, an eyebrow arches up.
He barely breaks eye contact when he quickly adjust his stand, swinging his stick with his right hand and slapping the puck right between Wyatts skates into the goal.
"Fuck", Ilya whispers, suprised and more than half horny in under a second. "Did you just-"
He looks at where Shane's left hand still rests on his.
"Score a goal, one handed? Sure I did", Shane grins smugly but lya can feel Shane squeezing his own gloved hand.
"Holy shit, Hollzy", Wyatt hollers, "Thats cheating, by the way. Can't shoot while being all cute with your husband."
"That's so cool!", Luca skates closer and waves his phone in Ilyas face. "I got of all on video!"
Shane's gives Ilya a puzzled look and Ilya knows he has a lot of explaining and probably apologising to do. After that he will give Shane a mind-blowing blowjob the very moment they are alone, that is. Probably two. Shane definitely earned it.
Later he cuts all three videos of him asking Shane to hold his hand into one edit and uploads it with the caption "If he wanted to, he would 😌💅"
(Harris gets inspired by the video and convinces Wiebe to let Shane and Ilya do one training session where they hold hands the entire time. Noone is suprised they still manage to score more goals than anyone else. Harris is delighted to have some excellent footage for the Cens Instagram channel and captions it with "Why aren't you holding your teammates hand right now?")
The video breaks hockey twitter containment.
