Carmen Rivera Famine, 34, Rogue. In life, you work for what you need, fight for what you want, and defend what you have left. I'm still working, still fighting. If I can't protect myself, then I don't deserve to take up arms in this war, much less have the backs of my brothers and sisters.
Staring into her drink, Tatiana watched the bubbles dance together as they bobbed happily up and down in her cocktail. A quiet sigh slipped from her mouth as she looked around the bar. It was quiet, which made her feel even more alone. Sure, she had Emrys, but he had his own things to be doing, and having just come out of work at the Rogue HQ, she decided alcohol was needed. Lately, she had been feeling rather weak, with her Father dying only weeks ago, and not having reconciled their differences, Tati felt rather guilty. But alcohol was a good friend at keeping her guilt at bay.
Carmen was restless, per usual. She had stopped by the nearest bar on her way home from work, looking for a little rest stop before checking things out at the power station. Her days were long, and her nights were short, a combination that she didn't particularly favor. Work dragged on, though, and oftentimes, she'd find herself looking at her phone and noticing that it was three in the morning. The day after those nights, she'd walk around looking half-dead. She definitely felt half-dead right now. Ugh. Carmen took a seat one over from Tatiana, leaving an empty stool between them just for the purpose of keeping things light. The woman had already been here, so Carmen took to assuming that she came alone for a reason. As most people did when they went to bars. And if not, then she could always just scoot a seat over. After ordering a beer, she tapped her hands on the table and glanced at Tatiana, Long day or long week?
Carmen had no excuse for appearing at Ericaâs bedroom door near midnight with her hair still wet from a shower and a towel around her neck other than what she had on her mind being just so important that it couldnât wait until morning. To be completely fair, though, she sent Erica a text the moment she made up her mind to visit. Just a warning in the, like, five seconds it would take her to leave her room and visit her sisterâs, in case the other woman was about to knock out for the night. Carmen herself had the worst sleeping schedule on the planet, so really, even if Erica was getting ready for bed, Carmen was guaranteed to feel awake for another four hours.
She knocked twice on Ericaâs door before just opening it and barging in with a small duffel bag in tow because, after years of living together, Carmen just felt that sense of entitlement. Plus, she honestly wouldnât care if someone did it to her in response, so that gave her the liberty to assume that the people she had known for over a decade wouldnât give a damn. âI know itâs late,â she began, which wasnât really meant to be an excuse. With her tone of voice, she gave away that it really wouldnât have mattered. Common courtesy to try and be polite about doing business at late hours, though. âBut this couldnât wait. Well, it can. But I donât want it to.â She set the duffel bag down and clasped her hands together, typical Hollywood-style of someone about to go into full negotiation mode. Itâs a habit she canât shake. âWhat would you say if I made you a proposition? Me, you, and a start-up biochemical engineering company that becomes competition for Nexus on the business in research front? I handle the corporate side, you handle the science side. Not to say that I canât help with research if I can, but Iâd rather not try too hard lest I fuck it up on my own. Because, given my history in the sciences, Iâm sure theyâre definitely not my forte.â
âIâm still trying to find my niche here,â Carmen softly admitted, âWithout Penny around. Itâs taking a long time - way too long. I need to do something about that, and this could be that something. Maybe Iâve been trying too much to be what Penny was for everyone else when I was never built to be that kind of person.â She shrugged and motioned to the duffel bag, âYou can say yes now, and this is a sort of pre-reward. Call it incentive. A starting bonus.â
Note: Iâm so... lost about dates and stuff because itâs been a million years since Iâve touched Tumblr. I wish that Iâve been flourishing in college to compensate for not being online but... Iâm about to fail biology lmao so here I am at 3am after drinking a bunch of coffee to finish homework. Finally got the motivation to get back onto Tumblr. And now Iâm sitting here not knowing where tf I left off with my charactersâ personal plots. I almost forgot who I even play... Bye, world.
Fall 2018
Carmen hasnât felt this busy since college when she was constantly flying in and out of California and Massachusetts every weekend and in a repetitive cycle of packing and unpacking her shit. But, even then, that was a physical type of preoccupation, where she was on the move, in and out of airports, passing through security checkpoints enough times to satisfy her for a lifetime. This was entirely different. Paperwork, court proceedings, meetings of the non-business kind. Itâs a whole bunch of shit that she just sits through, and honestly, when itâs all over, Carmen canât for sure say what happened, no matter how damn good her memory is.Â
Her parents are getting divorced.
Itâs... not a shock. To anyone, really, least of all her.
Sheâs not a big fan of legal terms and legal things, period, since law is the bane of a businesspersonâs existence. Plus, never having been married, Carmenâs never cared for what a divorce looks like. It goes pretty simple, really, since her father leaves without a fight, not even for his company that he built from the ground up. Which is kinda the source of all of his wealth.
Carmen doesnât question it until her mother mutters something at one point about accounts overseas that she canât access, and that makes a lot more sense than a wealthy man agreeing to give up his only income... because, of course, heâd have other ways of obtaining money.
Back-up plans. Something she should probably get into the habit of having. Financial fallbacks. Quiet bank accounts in countries that the government canât find unless she magically ends up under federal arrest, which is only a tiny bit likely at this point.
It all makes her sound like sheâs a bad person, thinking about how to make sure she canât die out if something bad were to happen to the material possessions she has now.
She probably is, honestly.
The divorce goes through. Her father moves out, leaves Synadverts to her mother. Itâs a good handful of wealth for two Iranian women to suddenly be in charge of, in America of all places. A lot more anticlimactic than Carmen expected it to be. Her mother offers her a promotion, and normally, Carmen would accept it without hesitation, but this time, her mind is elsewhere. The whole divorce has made her tired, even though itâs not as if it was her own divorce she was participating in.
She wants something more.
Thatâs how gluttony works. Always something more.
At night, she dreams of violence, true violence that she hasnât felt in years. Time has made her soft, weak, hesitant to be cruel in order to save face and stick to some sort of personal honor code (as if ignoring her inner thoughts and acting out the opposite will redeem her as a sinner - pfft, she wishes).
During the day, she lets her eyes linger on the necks of passing pedestrians, recalling what it was like to shove a knife into the side of one. Has to remind herself that sheâs changed since the days of just acting upon her anger for the fun of it. That sheâs âmaturedâ.
The truth is that sheâs just gotten better at self-restraint. Or is that a facade, too?
In the Company, her bloodlust, her unchecked anger had been without direction, without purpose. Being a Horseman had given her purpose, given her a direction. Given her targets to sink her teeth into. But, sheâs an impatient woman at the core, no matter how patient she forces herself to be by sheer will. She can only play the waiting game for oh so long, and at one point, hunger will triumph and the puma will either kill its prey or find easier, more accessible prey. Which, given that pumas will hunt nearly everything that crosses their path, isnât too hard to do.
Carmen is restless. She needs to do something before she fucking explodes.
October 26th, 2018Â - night.
The idea comes to Carmen in the midst of when most ideas come to people - when they donât need them whilst in the shower. âIâm a genius,â she tells herself while drying off and getting dressed. Absolute genius. And itâs going to take awhile, probably, but itâs a different scene, a change from the boring route sheâs been trying to take against Nexus for over a fucking year. Time to switch things up a bit.
A date. Whew, okay, a date. Carmen would be lying if she said that she didnât spend half an hour on her phone looking up tips on what to do and not do on first dates. It wasnât necessarily that she had never been on a date because she had. She definitely had. Just not within the past five or six years. Carmen had plenty of blind dates and dating app meet-ups over time, but those werenât people she actively thought about pursuing for a second time. Helen, on the other hand, was someone she could use to her advantage as leverage, if Carmen played her cards right.Â
Before taking a taxi to Helenâs apartment, Carmen had texted her with suggestions for the nightâs attire - nothing too fancy and definitely shoes that could be walked in. Carmen herself was used to wearing anything from boots to heels to work everyday, but she didnât want to overdress herself. With the kind of money she spent, though, that was a bit of a challenge since most everything in Carmenâs closet practically screamed being worth hundreds apiece. Somehow, she managed with a silk top, a pair of her darkest jeans, and a clutch. And the whole drive over had been spent mulling over if she had overdone it at every stoplight. Wonderful.
As Carmen made her way up to Helenâs door, she took the time to mumble obscenities to herself. Dating had always been a piece of cake - most times, quite literally - for her, and feeling so nervous about this was so, so rudely out of character. She scowled at the thought that it might simply be because she cared, but that was absurd. Carmen didnât care about anyone up until a certain point of attachment, and thus far, Helen was hundreds of miles away from that. Wiping the scowl from her features and replacing it with a mastered smile, Carmen knocked on the door four times and waited until Helen opened it. âHey.â Say something else, idiot. âItâs nice to see you.â Her voice might have cracked at the end, but if anyone asked, she wouldnât dare confirm it. Carmen blamed it on not exactly being first-date material for over half a decade; she hoped her mind would kick back into being as charming as ever within the next ten minutes, otherwise any of her credibility from being able to make speeches in front of dozens of business partners would fall down the drain just because she couldnât talk to a date. âUh, sorry, Iâm-â she chuckled a bit sheepishly, âA little nervous, I guess. Itâs⌠been a long time. I swear I was doing fine ten minutes ago and then the jitters came out of nowhere.â
âRemind me to never try and be an upstanding citizen of New York City. All it got me was a split lip. What else dâya expect from a city of assholesâŚâ
deleted my previous hiatus post b/c i found a loophole to being grounded a ha i will never stop getting in trouble at home |:
Semi or Full hiatus: semi
How long youâll be away: for the rest of the school year tbh. right now iâm stupid busy with studying and then i start school in a few weeks so i will be having this fucked up schedule so my hands will be preeeeetty full
What your character/s will be up to during this time: Carmenâs spotty presence can most likely be explained by npc/selfpara things Iâm too lazy to write. Her parents are getting divorced and that means splitting up their business and finances and Carmenâs in the middle of all the legal stuff like âughâ. Joey is just idk working. And so is Joseph.
Päivi initially really doesnât get where the woman is headed. But sheâs never been good at making charming exits, plus maybe standing here and having this conversation is still better than having Camilla drag her around and watching the latter be on best terms with all those people Päivi should know and doesnât. That would one hundred percent make her feel bad whereas this - doesnât. She probably should care about how science draws on the abilities of people like her, but fear subsides after a while, and maybe itâs twenty-seven years spent not knowing what âpost-humanâ actually means that gives her this ability to stand her and discuss this without raising her voice and just using the excessive amount of gestures she usually needs in English: âWell, of course youâd need limits. Laws and regulations and stuff. You canât just let people walk around look through walls and so on. Thatâs not what Iâm saying.â
âOhâ. Päivi is quiet for a moment as her mind works through the other womanâs logic which, admittedly, is logical put like that. And her first impulse is of course to feel like itâs not fair, that she has to wear a tattoo and for someone able to do the same thing not to have to. But that still doesnât sit with someone like her who still seeks her future in science: âI understand that. Really, IâŚI get what youâre saying. But isnât that more of a social issue? What I mean isâŚmaybe we should remove the obstacles post-humans have instead of stopping this kind of research? Then it would be fair and everyone would, you know, benefit. Everythingâs put into this world for a purpose. I think.â
Yeah, my purpose is to destroy this blatant plan to control us all, she thinks. But, no use voicing that aloud. Is anyone really getting any progress with that? Carmenâs really close to doing something incredibly stupid like take off her hijab and set someone on fire. She wonât. But, that sounds like a good idea. The getting rid of obstacles? Because what Iâm seeing right now is that more obstacles keep sneakily appearing, and nobodyâs really noticing or cares to notice. She canât really say anything more because itâll just blow her cover, and she does not want that. Iâd love an ideal world where we could have nifty scientific advancements and no limitations to post-human freedom, but sadly, weâre not there right now. Thatâs it. Stop. Carmen shrugs and gives Paivi a brief nod, I think Iâll go, ah, get some fresh air. Itâs getting a bit stuffy in here with all these people. Perhaps Iâll see you again later tonight. Have a good one. With that, she walks off, disappearing into the crowd.
Itâs good to be here â here, she can be of some use, keeping an eye on everything and making sure the night goes as smoothly as possible while the powerhouses behind Nexus are able to step forth into the light and show the world what theyâve been working hard on. Plus, sheâs interested in learning about everything they have going on. People have gotten so caught up in what posthumans can do, they have forgotten what all humans are capable of: great feats of innovation. Everything Nexus is showcasing here tonight is no exception. She doesnât recognize Carmen right away, but as soon as she hears her voice Helen smiles and turns more towards her, shoulders relaxed. Stop? Says who? I rather like it, though. She gestures towards Carmenâs hijab with a warm smile. How are you?
Oh, well, I simply mean that itâs rather spontaneous, unless you prefer being kept on your toes. Carmen shrugs, As for me, Iâd say a quieter setting, like the kind a date would have, is better than bumping into you every now and then. But, thatâs just me. So smooth, she is so fantastically smooth. Honestly? She's angry and wants to flip over a damn table, but... I'm good. It's a nice night. Good company, good place to be right now. All of this is rather fascinating, especially some of the research that's more medically inclined. Carmen fakes a nervous chuckle, Might be out of a job soon.
Erica does know that Carmen is also attending, and she does know of her idea for the disguise, but she has been absorbed in the goods presented to a point where she actually looks surprised for the shortest of moments at someone tapping her on the shoulder, before lapsing back into her routine of feigned merely professional interest. âIâve been waiting ever since Iâve gotten here for someone to question whether I am actuallyâŚâ, she glances at the badge with her colleagueâs name on it, âSolveig Wilson. But apparently, asking the occasional pseudo-intelligent question is enough to not get any questions in return. And hey, thisâŚâ Erica makes a sweeping gesture to the room, âis a triumph of science over beliefs such as that.â - said with a dose of sarcasm so subtle Erica believes only Carmen will be able to identify that Erica doesnât really mean that. The sunglasses look out of place, she knows that, but it allows her to keep her gaze on things without people knowing. âThis is a mess. They are all operating under completely different assumptions. One time, a personâs ability is innate in their genetical layout, another time, itâs an outcome of physical build, then itâs a hormone question. I really couldnât have wished for a better outcome.â
Well, nobody has questioned me on if Iâm really Sarah Paria, who is apparently a potential investor... or was because Iâm pretty irked right now. She sighs and frowns, her disdain showing in the furrowing of her brow. I mean, I used this identity in that banquet last year, but Iâm sure they arenât cross-examining the guest lists. Her anger is rising inside of her, and she really needs to get a hold on that before she âaccidentallyâ makes the whole room fall on their knees and clutch at their stomachs. Unfortunately, thinking about it makes her imagine it. Which brings a smile to her face. All is well.
I could have, Carmen responds, disdain still in her tone, Wished for a better outcome, that is. I feel as if Iâm about to grab the nearest table and flip it over and then punch somebody in the face. She is fuming, basically. Do you see what theyâre trying to do? With the contact lenses and the medicine implant? Progression for humans, regression for us. People can have perfect vision through some lenses now, maybe microscopic or whatever vision a few years into the future. And what do we get? What if the medicine releases with a lower trigger? What if it just drugs you every time you even use your power? Sedate post-humans and let the humans roam free. She moves closer to Ericaâs side, wishing that they werenât both undercover right now. Carmen needs some of Ericaâs normal physically affectionate routine, otherwise sheâs going to blow a gasket and set the room on fire. Whatâs next? Will they kill us and use our bodies for research to make synthetic abilities for humans?
Päivi first gives a light smile, glad that her statement hasnât sounded too blindly idealistic, sheâs been out of the loop for too long. Then her expression is merely one of confusion, added to by how the other woman really seems dissatisfied with the entire concept of the exposition: âIâm sorry, I donât really see the connection?â Päivi finally manages. âLike, when people wear my peopleâs dresses without knowing when we wear them, and why, that doesnât really add anything to their lives? Like, they could just wear jeans instead? Or when they wear things as jewelry that my people used to use in religious ritualsâŚthat doesnât make their lives better? But thisâŚthis could save lives, right? That seems to me like saying donatingâŚwhatâs that stuffâŚthe stuff thatâs in your bones, is bad. You know what I mean?â She probably shouldnât have asked her next question, Päivi doesnât like arguing to begin with, much less with someone she has only just met, but the question is out before Päivi can stop it: âIf you think itâs so bad, why are you here?â
Carmen has to remind herself to hold in her anger because, well, if she wants to keep up consistent appearances, the identity sheâs going as doesnât even have any powers. But, still, she allows herself some tiny form of irritation. Bone marrow, she fills in for Paivi. Carmenâs not looking for a fight, so she checks herself. Checks her body language, her posture, keeps her arms by her side even though she wants to defensively cross them. Thereâs a tip when arguing with someone - make sure youâre both standing side by side, which the two of them are. The psychology of it makes it more difficult to fight with someone. My problem with it, though, is... take for example that exhibit with the, um, contact lenses. Perfect vision without the dangers of lasik surgery would be great. But, all of that other stuff that could follow? Microscopic, telescopic, x-ray vision? Available for everyone?Â
She averts her gaze to the rest of the room, to the crowd, because if anything, Carmenâs eyes tell all about her when sheâs angry, and she doesnât need that to blow her cover. Humans being able to do what post-humans are already able to do without being oppressed for it. Oh, that was a strong word choice. If Carmen was to be caught with that, she wouldnât even be surprised. Oppressed. A word Rogues would use because PROTECT would most likely dance around it. A word Nexus would evade like a child ignores chores. But, itâs the truth. That is what they are. That sounds just like appropriation, in a way, to me. Just like, you know, every now and then, Iâll read articles online about trends popping up everywhere - women wearing the veil Iâm wearing right now without facing the same kind of backlash from society. All of the privilege, none of the problems.Â
The expo is, unsurprisingly, full of Nexus agents. Most of them are wearing their badges (well, all of them are; Carmenâs guessing thatâs how they got in), so she can basically suss out who she doesnât want to converse with. However, when she spots one familiar brunette (hard to miss with her height, anyway), Carmen doesnât hesitate to make her way over to Helen. She highly doubts she can get much information from Helen in terms of the research and future Nexus plans, but itâs worth a shot, regardless. Hey, stranger, Carmen smiles, not that thatâs any use with her mouth covered, Probably hard to recognize me with the whole hijab thing going on, but weâve got to stop meeting like this.
Carmen doesnât have any trouble finding Erica in the crowd, but thatâs mostly because of old ties and being around each other for, like, a decade plus. Although, maybe even a wig wouldnât have been able to deter her. Who knows. She hovers by Ericaâs side and taps her on the shoulder to get her attention. You think if maybe we stand next to each other suspiciously for an extended amount of time, someone will finally figure out that weâre not supposed to be here? She chuckles under her breath, Of course, I probably shouldnât say that because itâll jinx things, not that I wholeheartedly believe in that. Overall, their chances are probably... pretty good at not getting caught. Carmenâs the one who almost ruined the party last time, so sheâs the one that Nexus is more, in a way, aware of. Which is either good or bad, depending on the spin she puts on things. Nice sunglasses, by the way.
There goes that networking opportunity then that Camilla has promised her - of course. Päivi has to think about that question for a moment. âI think fascinatingâs a good way of describing it. And a bit scary maybe as wellâŚlike all the things you could do with all this knowledge if you put it to the wrong cause, that sort of thing? But I suppose if you donât believe in science ever leading to anything good, youâre not gonna go into science.â Which is what she has told herself repeatedly in an attempt to make herself go and write applications - doesnât help much, apparently, but Päivi still believes in this logic.
Sheâs glad that thereâs fabric covering her mouth - itâs easier to grin without giving herself away. Wrong cause... theyâre all standing in the middle of one happening right now. Carmen shrugs, I believe in science leading to good things. Itâs a rather vague statement, not letting out what she personally believes. Of course, science and genetically modifying humans doesnât seem to be one of those good things, if thatâs where Nexus is going with this. Which, Carmenâs guessing, isnât too far off. However, all of this, to me, seems a bit, well, maybe just a bit appropriating. As in the cultural kind. Sheâs frowning, now, and Paivi canât see it but she can probably definitely see it in Carmenâs eyes.Â
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