all I do is try, try, try

Dr. Caroline Rhodes, 30 Neurologist at Crescent General

[carolinerhodes]

elijeong​:

It felt as though his mind was still grappling with the fact that Caroline was truly here, that this was really happening, so when he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. He didn’t know what to say. He hated the look on her face, hated even more that he’d been the one to put it there. He had nothing to give her to fix this.

He only had the truth.

There was the feeling of movement behind him, and he knew that in it, he no longer had any truths to tell before they revealed themselves. It all felt cheaper somehow– as if he was only owning up to the part he played because he had to. Because it was there, in broad daylight, unable to be ignored. But because he knew he deserved this, he dropped his head, drew in a deep breath and expelled it with a weighted sigh. 

He made himself look her in the eye as he latched onto the few words he could. Even if they weren’t the right ones. Even if they weren’t the practiced ones he’d wanted. “I didn’t want to do this here. Like this.” 

Caroline’s question was a punch in the gut he should have seen coming. How long have you known? He didn’t want to do this in front of Theo, didn’t want Caroline to have to look these choices in the face as he told her about them. She deserved so much more than that. 

He had truly never hated himself more than he did in that moment. 

“You deserve better than this.” He turned his head to look at Theo briefly before he looked back at Caroline. “You both do.” His expression softened into something almost pleading. “We should talk about this in private.”

.

The feeling of Theo's eyes on her forced Caroline to look in her direction, the faintest hint of recognition running through her as she moved her gaze to the woman's face for the first time. They had taken a yoga class together and Caroline was almost certain she had even mentioned her to Eli when she got home––not by name, or even description; simply that she had met someone she had gotten along with, though it seemed Eli got along with her a bit better than Caroline had. This recollection flashed through her brain in an instant, and just as soon as that thought had come, it left as she glanced down and noticed Theo's stomach, every thought she had entertained up to that point now suffocated by the realization that Theo was pregnant.

It was all Caroline could do to maintain a neutral expression. The idea of crying was more embarrassing than she could tolerate, no matter how desperately she wanted to give in to the burning sensation behind her eyes that threatened to send tears spilling down her cheeks. If Eli could do this to her––cheat on her, humiliate her, abandon her––then he wasn't worthy of eliciting emotion from her; at least that's what she told herself to choke back the gasp that she could feel inching its way out. Her innate ability to control––to control herself, to control her emotions, to control everything around her––was the only thing standing between Caroline and even greater indignity, so she clung to it. She clung so hard that as Eli began to speak, it almost didn't reach her ears, his voice a million miles away.

As the initial shock began to wear off, Caroline took in a deep breath, prepared to handle this with as much maturity as she could muster––not out of respect for the other two, as they clearly had no respect for her, but rather out of respect for her own image. Before she could offer a thought of her own, however, Eli managed to snap her out of her contemplative daze. You deserve better than this. You both do. Both. A word had never stung her so deeply. She was sure Eli hadn't even meant anything by it, but the implication overwhelmed her and she couldn't stop thinking about it. Even now, as he offered to talk to her in private, he wasn't thinking about her. Her. Only her. His fiancée. It was then that Caroline realized she couldn't even have him to herself now––completely to herself, to have him think of her feelings and her feelings alone in the midst of him leaving her––and the urge to cry left her. She knew it would return when she was home––a word so precariously defined now that she was unsure whose home their apartment even was––but for the time being, it was replaced with nothing but disdain.

"Oh, should we?" she derided, a slight quiver still evident in her voice despite herself. "You know what, I don't think we need to, Eli," she continued, his name never sounding so foreign coming out of her own mouth, like she was listening to someone else talk, watching someone else's life fall apart. "I think I can piece it together myself." She took a step back and turned to leave, curious to see if Eli would move to stop her or simply let her go. After all, he did love to take the easy way out.

[carolinerhodes]

elijeong​:

Eli was already nodding, already forming the speech in his mind. He knew Caroline deserved better. She’d deserved better from the start. Where he found her to be domineering, he knew someone else would find her endearing. Where he thought her to be uptight, he knew someone else would think her organized, inspiring even. It had been selfish in its own way– he was realizing now– to follow his parents wishes for him when he felt none of the fire she deserved. To marry her because of them when it should have been because of her. It seemed so clear now. How had he not seen it before? 

He opened his mouth to say yes, he was going to tell her. Not here, though. Not surrounded by strangers in an unfamiliar town. She deserved better than that too. And though his hands ached to rest over Theo’s, he resisted the urge to touch her. “I–”

Tell me what?

Eli’s head snapped up, swiveling in the direction of the voice he knew far better than he wished to in that moment. He longed to be mistaken, felt ice bloom where the warmth of Theo’s touch had lingered. No. This was not how this was supposed to happen. He blinked, as if it might erase that look on her face as he turned to her. 

“Caroline–” His voice sounded frail, the sound choked off by the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He was to blame for this, he knew. The past few weeks with her, where he’d been standoffish or rude or snappy, came flooding back, threatening to sweep him away with the guilt that ran like rapids. Telling her the truth had been enough of a daunting task. Waving it in her face in the middle of a Valentine’s Day gala? It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want this for her. 

But he’d made a promise to himself, to Theo, to Caroline herself, that he was going to be honest. So, he didn’t make any moves to step away from Theo, merely situated himself between the two women, almost as if shielding Theo from Caroline’s ire. “I’m sorry.” The words sounded cheap, like the silver-painted plasticware that set the tables in the ballroom. “This is not how this was supposed to happen. This is not how this should have happened. I–”

He dropped his head, some part of his heart acknowledging that this was about to hurt. This was about to get messy. This was about to happen in front of Theo. “I can’t marry you, Caroline.”

.

His empty apology wasn't the worst answer that he could have given her, but it was close enough. Listening to his words––which felt like a punch in the gut and absolutely nothing all at once, the reality refusing to set in––elicited nothing but a blank stare from Caroline. She felt, perhaps for the first time, that she had been rendered speechless, her brain simultaneously turning the present situation over while going completely blank. She could hear Eli very clearly––he was sorry, he couldn't marry her––and yet, one phrase reverberated through her mind like a mallet striking a bell. This is not how this was supposed to happen.

"Supposed to happen?" she repeated, doing what she could to keep her voice steady, though she could feel the emotion welling up in her throat, threatening to betray the unaffected visage she was managing to put on with some success. She took a brief pause, wanting the weight of Eli's words to fill the air between them so that he could acknowledge how ridiculous they were to think, let alone say aloud. How was someone supposed to leave their fiancée? The woman who loved them? She could concede that he was right on one front: it wasn't like this, on Valentine's Day, at a party, in front of another woman. The fact that he hadn't even excused her or asked to speak to Caroline alone hurt more than anything––more than the way he had been treating her, more than the way he treated her now, so unemotional in the face of his own infidelity. Of course, he hadn't explicitly owned up to that yet, but Caroline was no idiot, despite the fact that Eli seemed so intent on making one of her.

"How was this supposed to happen, Eli?" she finally spoke up, eyes narrowed as she stared at him, as if she didn't even see Theo in the room. She didn't want to see Theo in the room. Wasn't she at least owed the dignity of being heartbroken and humiliated in private? Did her embarrassment demand an audience? "How exactly were you supposed to tell me that you didn't want to marry me?" And suddenly, a worse thought occurred to her––worse than his attitude, than his cheating, than the fact that his mistress stood behind him now, looking at her. "How long have you known?"

[carolinerhodes]

theobowman​:

She had always been the type of person who loved or hated fiercely. There was very little room for grey in her life. As she’d gotten older though, she found that far more difficult to live with. People were complicated and sometimes there were explanations for situations. It didn’t change the hurt, or whatever wrong had been committed but it provided reasoning. So instead of pushing him away, she listened. As much as she hated to admit it, she still had feelings for him. The revelation should have changed that, but it didn’t. Even if it had, he was with her for the foreseeable future. They were having a child together.

He had let her go before, and she had been devastated. It was a quiet hurt that she had kept to herself, but it had been there. She’d quickly missed the text messages and surprises, and most of all- his presence. And all of it had gone in a snap. So quick that it felt like in the blink of an eye she missed all of it. One moment she was taking him to meet her family and the next they were two completely separate people. 

Theo knew she was lucky to have a great relationship with her parents. She was reminded of it every time she saw them, or received a phone call or text. The beginning of her life could have marred all of it, she knew this. Theo hardly had any memories of Desmond Bowman, and the ones she had of Zhanna were darker. If Darla and Daniel hadn’t stepped in, Theo’s life would be completely different from the one she had now. She’d gotten lucky, and she absolutely knew it. It hurt to know that Eli didn’t have that with his parents. “Then you have to tell her.”

It was enough that she had slept with him while he was engaged to someone else. The fact that she was pregnant because of that complicated things even more. But what she wouldn’t be is the other person. The two were close to begin with, so she didn’t have to move her arm very far to press it against his chest. “If you want me then you need to do that because it’s not fair. To her or to me.”

.

Caroline hadn't expected Eli to run after her when she left him at the bar––he never had been the type––but she had expected to see him by now, if only so he could ask if it was time for them to go home and continue icing each other out in private. She had committed to standing strong––to pacing around the B&B, biding her time until Eli finally made the first move. She was determined to test the bounds of his indifference; was it possibly limitless enough to let her stagnate until the crowd cleared out and went home, leaving him with no choice but to find her?

She had walked off to be alone––completely alone, rather than just overlooked––in the hallway that led toward the bathroom. Every few minutes, someone would walk through––a couple holding hands, a set of friends giggling among themselves––and each time, she'd put her phone to her ear or furrow her brow to appear busy, distract from what she was actually doing: hiding. It was during one of these performances that she felt her phone buzz in her hand, and she breathed a quick sigh of relief, certain that Eli had finally waved the white flag in the form of a text. Instead, she peered down at a shelter-in-place alert, her resolve to wait out Eli growing thinner by the second.

It took another five minutes for Caroline to cave––something she rarely did––and set off in search of Eli. A text to him had gone unanswered, leading her on a walk of the B&B's ground floor, peering in and out of empty rooms and occupied corners with little luck. She approached another door and she opened it just slightly, finding that it lead to the B&B's small library. Figuring that she wouldn't find Eli there, she begun to close it behind her before she heard his voice. I don't think I could do it again. About to open the door fully, certain that she'd find him talking on the phone––to who, she wasn't sure––or engaged in a conversation with a coworker, she froze at the sound of a woman's voice. Then you have to tell her.

Suddenly, Caroline was positive she had simply misheard, though the urge to confirm that overwhelmed her. Her brain was telling her that she had simply wandered into a couple's private conversation––that she was imagining Eli's voice because she wanted to find him––but the fact that she knew what she heard, that she was never wrong, that she would know his voice anywhere compelled her to take a step into the room. She had braced herself to find two strangers, to laugh it off––’oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone was in here’––and close the door behind her. She hadn't actually expected to find Eli, standing with another woman, her arm draped tenderly across his chest. She stared for what felt like an eternity, unsure of what the look on her face even read as, unsure of what she was even feeling––confusion, anger, a longing to be wrong for the first time in her life.

"Tell me what?"

[carolinerhodes]

elijeong​:

It was a flawed logic from the start: ignoring Caroline when he could, keeping it short when he couldn’t. His guilt had manifested in ways he was not proud of, in snippets of arguments when all he needed to do was nod and it would have sufficed. It was how they worked best– Eli, who never fought her on anything, who said yes and no and maybe when he was supposed to, and Caroline, who domineered the relationship because he’d allowed her to believe it was what he wanted. He’d allowed her to believe she was what he wanted.

He was going to tell her. He had to tell her. His secrets had an expiration date and it had become impossible to ignore his heart. Here– in the middle of a Valentine’s Day gala– was not the place for it. But he vowed to himself that he wouldn’t prolong this. Not anymore. She deserved better, Theo deserved better. His child deserved better.

Reality threatened to slip in again, threatened to sharpen his tongue, so he only nodded as she agreed to follow him to the bar. He had anticipated his attitude might turn her off. The fact that it didn’t only made him feel worse. “Just wine.” Though, he would have preferred something stronger. 

Silence lingered as he waited for his drink and he’d never found it so difficult to find something to say to her. Even if it had been without substance before, at least he could give her something. But there was a disconnect now, one that he couldn’t breech. One that, maybe, he didn’t want to. But the silence urged him to say something, so he asked, “Are you having a good time?”

.

Caroline acknowledged his reply with a slight nod, fingers drumming atop the bar as she glanced toward him and followed his gaze to whatever he was looking toward––seemingly desperate to focus on anything other than her. Only one thing had emerged clearly over the past few days, and that was the fact that Eli had no desire to talk to her, to spend time with her, and though she wasn't sure why, she had racked her brain in an attempt to figure it out. Nothing had changed. Their dynamic had always been the same, Caroline taking the lead and Eli with no objections. It was a mystery to her, then, how he had suddenly decided that he was unhappy, always curling away from her touch and darting his eyes from hers.

His next question caused her eyes to narrow, features hardening as she looked toward him with thinly-veiled anger. "Am I having a good time?" Still wary of being overheard by the crowd that lingered around them, just out of earshot, she lowered her voice, the laughter of happier couples disguising their conversation, "No, Eli. I'm not having a good time. Are you?" Pausing for just a second, knowing he wouldn't answer or try to assuage her irritation, she went on, "You won't talk to me, you won't look at me, you won't touch me, and you won't even tell me why. So 'a good time' is actually not one of the things that I'm experiencing right now." Taking a step back, she lied simply so she could step away, "I'm going to the bathroom. Don't wait for me," she advised, though there was little doubt in her mind that had she returned, he wouldn't have been standing there.

[carolinerhodes]

Location: Pear B&B, Valentine’s Day Charity Gala. Status: Closed, @elijeong​.

Caroline had always been a strong proponent of the idea that if you needed to solve a problem, you had to face it head-on, and yet, for the past week, she had found herself tiptoeing around her apartment, and her fiancé, like an intruder. It was hard to ignore the tension that had been mounting, and yet, Caroline had been; after all, she had never met a challenge she couldn't conquer. It was just the occasional rude remark that she had to disregard, but it stung, specifically in place of Eli's usually amiable manner. He had never been the most enthusiastic wedding planner, more the type to look over her shoulder at her prompting and nod yes to whatever she had selected in his absence, so when he started snapping at her over the color of the tablecloths––something along the lines of how she'd simply pick the one she liked best anyway––and everything else, she found it easier to look the other way than confront the reality. Caroline––ever the optimizer, never one to run from a problem that needed a solution––was reluctant to admit that something was, indeed, plainly wrong with her relationship at the moment. The words caught in her throat every time she even entertained the idea of asking Eli what had happened to shift his mood so drastically. She imagined him saying nothing, brushing her off with the belligerent attitude he had suddenly adopted.

Asking Eli whether or not they'd be attending the Valentine's Day Gala had been met with his newfound apathy. He agreed, with no excitement, and Caroline now found herself standing in the middle of an unfamiliar venue, scanning a crowd of unfamiliar faces to see if she could find her fiancé or if she had simply imagined his presence altogether. Once she spotted him––the most familiar person in the room, despite the fact that he had been acting like a complete stranger––she approached him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder with the expectation that he'd shrug it away. "Are you going to spend any time with me or should we just go home?,” she asked, her voice almost bored.

[carolinerhodes]

coracovington​:

The concern that had so recently fixated on her features slowly morphed into that of mortification; her lips pressing tightly together to withhold the encroaching smile, a single hand lifting upwards to run through her hair. Cora wasn’t particularly embarrassed, as such, more perturbed for how her mind transpired. The silence between them only magnifying such concern.

           “Oh,” there’s a swell of a pause, her eyebrows arching conjointly. “Oh.” With the brief nod of her head, clarity settling in, she opens the door to her home and proceeds to enter. Halting solely to ask the all important - and relevant - question. “How many do you need? You can come in, I’m sure we have a few to spare.” It was an educated guess at best. Cora rarely possessed time to keep the kitchen well-stocked and thus relied on Charlotte primarily. “I promise to refrain from talking about breeding your spawn.” 

.

Letting out a genuine laugh at Cora's misunderstanding, Caroline took a step toward the door, anticipating an invitation in now that they had clarified that she hadn't come with the intention of discussing Cora's ovaries. As her neighbor disappeared inside, she hovered in the doorway, never the type to feel particularly comfortable 'making herself at home' in someone else's house.

"I need three," Caroline replied, wondering if that was a sort of large ask. She wasn't sure that neighbors actually did this in real life––she hadn't even known her neighbors in New York, and the girls that lived in the dorm next to hers had certainly never asked for baking supplies––but in movies, people were usually asking for one. She made a mental note to pick up a carton for the girls next time she ran errands and was about to tell Cora as much, but the woman elicited a laugh from Caroline instead. Taking a full step inside of the apartment, now, she quipped, "It's nice to know how far your neighborly attitude extends. They do say people in small towns are friendly, but I had no idea."

[carolinerhodes]

johnbernsteinx​:

John hadn’t thought twice about reaching out - getting mad about it hadn’t even crossed his mind but he was aware that sadly this wasn’t all that common. Granted, John was generous and eager to help by nature but that didn’t mean others were, often too lost in their own mind, their own responsibilities to even care. Now, with the worst damage being the woman’s scattered notes, John was quick to shoot her a friendly smile - accidents happened after all. He had a feeling she wasn’t exactly walking around town looking to bump into someone like this.

A genuine laugh escaped John’s lips. “Oh, I can’t really blame you for that and it’s always the ego that takes the biggest hit sadly but you’re fine! It happens. More often than you’d think,” he assured with a grin. Being a rather awkward person by nature and definitely one to get embarrassed easily, John understood so he tried his best to reassure that it was okay and soon to be forgotten. “I’m fine, yes!” The man was quick to confirm. “I hope your notes aren’t too out of order now,” he sympathized before shaking his head. “I appreciate it but you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not like you tried to tackle me. I’d hope so at least,” he joked.

.

"It is always the ego," Caroline repeated in acknowledgement, letting a slight laugh accompany her words. That observation could apply to most of Caroline's life, as the few mistakes she had ever allowed herself to make served to tarnish little more than her world-class self-esteem––a generous description of her paralyzing ego, precariously hinged on whether or not she had done everything just right. John's lighthearted attitude helped put Caroline at ease in the situation at hand, and she felt her shoulders relax slightly as she readjusted her grip around her notebooks, making sure she had a sturdy grasp on everything.

"I think they'll be okay," she acknowledged of her paperwork, taking a glance beneath her to make sure she had caught everything. The idea of losing any one document was catastrophic to Caroline, whether it be work- or wedding-related, though in reality, losing the florist's card clearly wouldn't be the end of the world. With a smile, she played along with his joke, "It was on purpose. Nothing releases my stress after a long day of work like full-contact sidewalk sports."

[carolinerhodes]

lilywhittaker​:

There were various newlywed-to-be personalities that Lily encountered in her line of work: everything ranging from those who let her have total planning control, and the ones who metaphorically had access to her planning files. Caroline Rhodes was definitely leaning towards the latter, very involved in the process and honestly, Lily couldn’t fault the doctor for it. While others may find the pedantic preoccupation with minor details to be unnecessary, the wedding planner admired and respected it more than anything else. If someone knew that plum and aubergine color swatches were in fact not interchangeable, they had a special place in Lily’s heart automatically. Stepping out of her car, the brunette couldn’t help but clench her jaw as she spotted a familiar Rolls Royce in the parking lot belonging to a certain Ian Whittaker. Hopefully he was too engrossed in his game of golf to notice his estranged daughter on the premises.

“Caroline, I hope that you haven’t been waiting long,” Lily greeted her client politely, even though she was indeed five minutes ahead of schedule. She tended to default to a first-name basis unless instructed otherwise, but she had Caroline indicated a preference for being called Dr. Rhodes, by all means the woman would have respected it. “So tell me, any further thoughts on the wedding plans? Have you begun your search for attire yet?” The question was meant to prompt the discussion as to incorporating the groom’s Korean culture into their ceremony, with Lily having done research into bridal hanboks and trying to see if Caroline had considered it. “I know that Eli’s Korean culture is important to him, and I’ve planned a few multicultural weddings in my career so I’m definitely excited to incorporate any traditions you two might have in mind. “One of the best things about this venue is that there’s a bridal suite and one for the groom too, so Eli and his groomsmen will have a space of their own. Most venues only have a room for the bride, with the expectation that the groom get ready offsite,” Lily explained as she led Caroline through the doors of the country club, waving at the staff with whom she was familiar. Years of coming as her parents’ guest had gained her some familiarity, even though she hardly frequented the venue without them. 

“Are you leaning more towards an indoor or outdoor ceremony? Either way, the room in here to our right would be reserved for your ceremony, whether it be as the main location, or its backup in the case of inclement weather. The perk of having your wedding here is that the facilities are modern and luxurious, and your guests would definitely be comfortable. One thing though, are you planning on having children at the wedding? If you want them at the ceremony but not reception, the country club does have a partnership with an on-site babysitting service and could hire them at a discounted rate.” Pausing as the natural light shone through the window and hit their face, Lily turned to the other woman. “Are you overwhelmed? I tend to go very quickly, so please let me know if you need me to slow down.”

.

"Not long at all," Caroline assured Lily genuinely as she walked up. It was no surprise that Caroline had a tendency to arrive early, and thus never faulted others for the minutes she stood waiting––provided that they still arrived by their agreed upon time. That never proved to be much of an issue with Lily, however; the wedding planner always seemed to arrive in tandem with Caroline, reinforcing the idea that she had made the right decision after hours of combing through Yelp to find the perfect planner. This was further evidenced by the fact that Lily jumped right in, sidestepping all of the usual pleasantry pitfalls: yes, she was excited, no, she wasn't nervous, and of course, she was adequately stressed out. At the mention of attire, Caroline inhaled before unloading her ideas on the girl: white versus off-white, lace versus satin, strapless or something more akin to what Grace Kelly had worn. Given that she had just moved to town––and wasn't a particularly welcoming person beyond the superficial level––Caroline didn't have many people to discuss the wedding with. While most brides had their mothers, and sisters, and friends gathered around in the dressing room, sipping champagne while they tried on gown after gown, Caroline simply had Lily, whose delivery of new information caused Caroline to furrow her eyebrows. Seeing as Eli had yet to broach the topic of incorporating more culturally traditional elements into their ceremony, Caroline made a mental note to ask him why she had to learn about it from their wedding planner, not opposed to the idea, but confused as to why she hadn't heard it from him.

As the tour moved through the front doors, Caroline kept meticulous track of the information that Lily was providing her. She had done some research on her own––a deep-dive of the location's website, as well as a phone call with a question or two––but the information about space for the groom to get ready was new and welcomed information; she had focused more on the bridal suite. Caroline nodded as Lily explained, feeling relaxed with the idea that with Eli getting ready on-site, there would be less to coordinate and a lower chance that anyone would be arriving late. The idea of guests filing in while the groom sat stuck in traffic was enough to make Caroline sweat.

Though Caroline had always envisioned having an outdoor wedding, she peered into the room that Lily gestured to, admiring its beauty and feeling secure in the idea that they would have a backup should the situation warrant it. At the mention of children, Caroline replied, "Not during the ceremony," bristling at the idea of crying or noisy fidgeting during their vows. As the duo stopped, taking a second to breathe, Caroline shook her head at Lily's concern. "Not overwhelmed at all," she reassured her with a smile, actually relieved by the fact that Lily had a tendency to hit the major bullet points as soon as their meetings began. "Are we able to see the bridal suite?" Caroline questioned, wanting to get a feel for the room that she would be getting ready in if she selected the country club as the venue.

[carolinerhodes]

dustinemmerson​:

There was certainly a small sense of relief that bubbled up when the other woman admitted that small talk wasn’t her thing either. Dustin had never been good with it, finding it completely draining and, frankly, a waste of time in many cases. It was hard to find things to say in general, hard to talk to strangers about anything, but small talk was the worst of it all. Dustin was the type of person that wanted a conversation to mean something, to be deeper than just the basic surface level nonsense that came from casual conversation. “Oh, no they’re definitely crazy,” Dustin agreed with a hum. “Crazy or just…incredibly bored.” Those were the only two reasons she’d ever been able to come up with as to why anyone might enjoy small talk of any sort. She tolerated it when she had to in order to fit in to at least some small degree, but she’d never much enjoyed it.

Letting her fingers flex together a few times before letting out the tension, Dustin let a silence fall for a few paces, her head whirring with what, exactly she was supposed to say to follow that up. With people she knew, it was a bit easier, she could rattle off any question that popped into her mind without worrying about it. With a stranger, she second guessed herself, opened her mouth to say something before tightening it back shut with a nervous flair. Though it felt like an eternity, it was only really a few moments before she spoke back up to carry on the conversation. “Well, ah - in an effort to avoid actual small talk, here’s a question for you. What would you say is the most interesting fact about you?” It was an easy question to broach with a stranger, something more meaningful than asking about the weather, but not so invasive that it felt out of place talking about with someone you just met. 

.

Nodding along with Dustin's observation that small-talkers might simply be bored, Caroline realized she had never actually considered this possibility before. Bored wasn't an emotion that she experienced very often, and on the rare occasions that she did find herself searching for something to do, turning to the person who happened to stride up behind her in line at the grocery store was not the method she'd choose to alleviate her discontent. It was only a specific combination of variables––her carelessness, their run-in, the fact that they were walking the same way––that led Caroline to strike up this conversation in the first place, so she couldn't put herself in the shoes of someone who took this on willingly just to fill their time; after all, wasn't there always something to read?

The silence filled the air between them for only a minute, Caroline wondering if the rest of their walk would continue this way, before Dustin spoke up, giving her something to ponder. There wasn't a single thing that immediately sprung to mind when tasked with providing the most interesting fact that she could in reference to herself. For some people, this was probably a perfect question, giving them a well-earned opportunity to talk about how they had climbed Machu Picchu or been on a reality T.V. show. Caroline's life, however, had been punctuated by academic achievements and work-related triumphs. Of the two, she figured that the former was probably most impressive, as no one really wanted to hear about the research she had done on mild traumatic brain injuries in rats. The name brand education she had received was undoubtedly more appealing to the general public, leading her to say, "I graduated summa cum laude from Yale," with the hope that this was satisfactory. Given that only 5% of seniors managed to do it––she had checked––she figured that was interesting enough, as it placed her in a rather small group. "And you?" she asked, genuinely curious.

[carolinerhodes]

cassieherrera​:

Something about the small town life had allowed Cass to let her guard down, if just ever so slightly. The hustle and bustle of other major metropolitan cities gave her a mixed bag of reactions, whether it be people completely ignoring her existence or being far too hyper-aware of her causing her to run for the nearest safe haven. But what made her more aware of just how Crescent Harbor had latched into her very being was from the very act she was performing right now, simply just helping someone after an unfortunate lapse of awareness. She laughed softly and nodded, “I asked my guardian angels to send me something, anything to make this phone call end, and they delivered you, so I’ll thank them and you.” 

Once all of the materials had been retrieved, her brown eyes landed on the image of her lone airpod wedged within the spirals of the woman’s notebook. She stepped back for a moment to allow her to catch her bearings before she caught her name and saw her hand extending towards her. Cass took it and shook it, strong and firm. “Caroline, it’s a pleasure, I’m Cassie.” And utterly relieved that with what she was wrapped up in was enough to make her just another stranger in her atmosphere. Shaking her head and waving her hand to mimic swatting away her apology, “No need to apologize, it happens. Now if this was somewhere in downtown Manhattan? I would have had your head.” She joked. As Caroline listed everything that was within the contents of her notebooks and loose papers, Cass couldn’t help but cock her head to the side. “I’ve been in front of plenty people with far too much on their plate, but to add a wedding on top of that? When was the last time you’ve blinked in the past 24 hours?” 

.

"Hi Cassie," Caroline repeated the woman's name with a smile; it was only right that they shared a proper introduction, seeing as they had gotten to second base faster than she and Eli had. "You don't have to tell me," Caroline laughed, grateful that she didn't often find herself colliding with pedestrians back home, as the wrath of Crescent Harbor residents was a far lesser evil. Though she tended to be a polite person, when provoked, Caroline veered toward snide, and a simple run-in could have devolved into a much larger argument back home. As quickly as that thought came, however, Caroline shook it off, realizing that "back home" didn't really apply to New York, or anywhere else she had lived; it applied to Crescent Harbor, where apparently, residents took a vested interest in the lives of strangers who barreled into them onto the street. While she may have always felt in her heart that she would return to Manhattan when her schooling was finished, there were certainly worse places that she and Eli could have picked to settle down, as evidenced by Cassie's kind observation.

With a shrug, Caroline joked, "I think I gave up blinking two weeks ago." While it was true that her schedule was filled to the brim, she preferred it that way. Raised to think that a minute she didn't spend working was a minute wasted, a sense of guilt began to hover over Caroline like a cloud whenever she decided to take a second for herself; keeping busy was simply the best way to ward off the looming rain. "Speaking of busy, though, I don't want to take up any more of your time," she acknowledged apologetically. She knew that if the conversation wandered toward the wedding, she'd be asking Cassie to offer her opinion on whether the off-white table cloth she was eyeing was simply too off-white, and wanted to give the woman a quick out.

[carolinerhodes]

declanxgraham​:

“Is it broken?” Declan repeated in a mocking tone. He picked up his phone, now slightly cracked on the edge, and slid it back into his pocket. “Little girl, I can get another phone in five minutes without having to wait in line at the Apple store,” he scoffed. Be better. He took a moment and did a quick breathing exercise– inhale for five seconds, hold it for five, and exhale for five– before speaking once more. “I…apologize.” God, he would’ve preferred to vomit all over the pavement, but Declan knew that he needed to be kinder to people, especially since everything ended up getting back to Cass somehow.  “Anyway…,” Declan blew air out between his lips. Small talk was never his strong suit, especially if there was nothing in it for him. “Do you need anything? Money, or…I don’t know what else you would need,” he mused.

.

The man's brag caused Caroline to roll her eyes, unimpressed by his alleged ability to bypass lines. She had noticed that his phone had sustained some damage––what seemed to be a fairly minor crack––and decided it wasn't worth the hassle of offering to pay. If he had approached their collision with more tact, she would have done something about the screen, but she had come to the conclusion that he simply didn't deserve it. As she moved her gaze past the man, plotting her escape from the situation at hand, she heard him take in what seemed to be a calming breath before he tried to deescalate the hostile conversation with an offer of money that she definitely didn't need.

With narrowed eyes, Caroline shrugged before resolving, "I think the only thing I need is to get away from you."

[carolinerhodes]

landon-reid​:

Landon took a step back and looked down at the woman. Though he wasn’t the tallest man, he was certainly taller than her. With a light smack of his lips, Landon cocked his head to the side and smirked. “Babygirl, even if I was paying attention, you think that I would’ve noticed you?” He put his hand on top of her head. “You don’t even come anywhere near my line of vision.”

Was it necessary to be so rude? Was there a need to antagonize? Of course not! But, as Sanem had stated only nights ago, everyone in town thought he was an asshat. If that was the truth, Landon would wear that title with pride. “Do you need me to get a cab for you? An Uber? I can stick around and make sure the plates match since you’re so terrible at paying attention.”

.

Immediately put off by his willingness to touch her, Caroline took a step back with narrowed eyes, widening the space between them and freeing herself of the patronizing hand atop her head. The gesture was almost frustrating enough in its own right to distract her from his usage of another condescending endearment, though not quite.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting home. You, on the other hand," she gestured toward the car that still idled at the curb, assuming it was waiting for him, the driver clearly confused and a bit irritated as the wait grew longer, "Seem to have an issue." After a brief pause, Caroline continued, sarcasm evident, "You know, if you suffer from this frequently––disorientation, irritability, being an ass––you might have a concussion.” Shrugging, she added, “Or a tumor. You should schedule a scan.”

[carolinerhodes]

elijeong​:

“Have you been home long?” he asked, peering over her shoulder to give whatever she was reading a cursory glance. “Haven’t read that one yet, no. Any good?” He was just beginning to come around the couch to take a seat across from her when she looked up again, her words landing unexpected blows. His chest tightened as his mind difted back to a mere hour before when he’d been sitting across from Theo, smiling and laughing and stealing glances like they were his to take. 

Before he could open his mouth, Hewey came prancing into the room with a toy in his mouth, squeaking it excitedly. Eli beamed, falling to a knee to scratch him behind the ears. “Hey, Hew,” he cooed, tugging the toy from the dog’s mouth and tossing it back down the hall. He was still smiling as he held up the bag of food, his need to dote a way to pay penance for the way he’d spent the day. “Want this now or should I stick it in the fridge?”

.

She hadn't been home too long––just long enough to read a few articles––and told him as much. "Now," Caroline answered immediately to his latter question, feeling a hunger pang as if it were on cue, "I skipped lunch today and didn't even realize"––a common occurrence, given her tendency to overwork. By the time she had finally realized, she was on her way home and had resolved to wait for Eli. Rising from the couch to grab the bag from his hand, she furrowed her brows. "Did you already eat? What were you doing at the mall?" she mused absentmindedly, not particularly worried about his answer as she made her way toward the kitchen with the intention of grabbing a bowl; she never had been the type to eat directly out of the takeout containers.

Taking note for the first time of the second purchase that Eli had returned with, Caroline peered inside, noticed the gift-wrapping, and for a brief moment, wondered if she had forgotten a sibling's birthday. Confirming that she hadn't, of course, she abandoned the food and turned her attention toward the gift, Eli's mysterious afternoon itinerary pushed to the back of her mind as she inquired with a smile, "Is it presumptuous to ask if this is for me?"

[carolinerhodes]

theobowman​:

Half of her wanted to leave the class in order to avoid what would likely be a wasted hour. The instructor they had been saddled with was an absolute moron. Possibly one of the worst that Theo had ever met. Still, she needed to work out. When a brunette appeared next to her, reclaiming the mat, Theo looked away. She was definitely new, as Theo didn’t recognize her. It wasn’t until the woman complimented her leggings that Theo looked up. “Absolutely,” She replied quickly. If the woman knew the brand of leggings, something told Theo that she couldn’t be too bad. It would be nice to have someone close by that actually knew what they were doing. “Is this your first class here? I don’t recognize you.”

People often came and went, and given that this was not her usual studio, Theo could have been completely wrong. However, she did know that the brunette was at least not a Crescent Harbor native. “If so, you picked quite a day to start.” She looked up towards the front where Kringle was staring at himself in the mirror. He tried to shake one of his faux curls from his vision but the lock of hair didn’t move- perhaps because he had it practically glued to his forehead with an ugly headband. “He’s an actual moron.”

.

There was a sense of brief satisfaction when the blonde confirmed that Caroline was right about the leggings. Of course, she knew that she had been––the same pair was tucked away in one of her dresser drawers at home––but Caroline always enjoyed being correct, no matter how inconsequential the situation was. "First class here," Caroline confirmed, placing an emphasis on the last word of her sentence. "I've been doing yoga for a while, but I just moved to Crescent Harbor," she explained, not wanting to be seen as a novice. Following her neighbor's gaze to the front of the room, Caroline took a moment to observe their instructor and immediately let out a sigh. Though she did tend to prefer female yoga instructors, she didn't oppose being taught by a man, provided that he wasn't an idiot, and Kringle didn't seem to pass that incredibly simple test. She already recoiled at the thought of him placing a corrective hand on her lower back and made a mental note to pay specific attention to her posture.

"Oh, god," she finally spoke up, disdain evident on her face. "He looks like he doesn't have any chewable food before 4 P.M. All green juices and super smoothies," Caroline derided, rolling her eyes at the idea of the pop science, “Probably my karmic punishment for putting off my first class here.”

[carolinerhodes]

Location: Bay Country Club. Status: closed, @lilywhittaker​.

"Prepared" wasn't a strong enough word to describe Caroline. Whether it was something as simple as a trip to the grocery store or something as pressing as her med school applications, there was always a to-do list, a notebook, or a folder dedicated to the task at hand. She had been raised on––or rather, raised herself with––the idea that if you weren't going to do something impeccably, you weren't fit to do it at all. This had given way to a slew of perfectionist proclivities that Caroline wouldn't have been able to shake even if she had the desire to do so. Ultimately, she found that her controlling ways always elicited the best results. She had never failed to obtain exactly what she desired: an acceptance to Yale, an acceptance to Stanford, a highly-regarded job at a highly-regarded hospital, and finally, a handsome fiancé to share in the life that she had painstakingly built.

Of course, Caroline had been dreaming of her wedding since she was a child. Always the type to keep a scrapbook––later turned into a Pinterest board––of her ideas, it felt like her wedding was already planned. She had never even expected to need a wedding planner, as she was more than confident that she'd be able to handle the entire affair on her own. If you needed something done right, after all, you should probably ask Caroline. Still, she had always imagined that she would be married in New York; she had all but picked out a venue and had imagined the scene a hundred times over. The move to Crescent Harbor, however, had necessitated a change, and the change had necessitated a wedding planner. Enter Lily, who Caroline actually liked quite a bit in their limited interactions thus far. The woman seemed to understand Caroline's needs––which were really quite simple: that everything needed to be perfect, exactly as she had imagined––and Caroline actually trusted her ability to get her there, which is why she found herself waiting outside of the Bay Country Club, raising her hand in a wave as she saw Lily approaching.

[carolinerhodes]

johnbernsteinx​:

Running errands, while never particularly exciting, was always something John had enjoyed in a way, mostly because it kept him busy outside of work for once. Usually, John’s days consisted of the same routine – another thing he didn’t mind, especially when work was starting to get stressful and he just needed all the time he could muster to unwind – but going downtown for some shopping was definitely something he liked to put on his agenda. He’d been getting more into cooking these days, always trying to get fresh and local produce so he could make the most of the recipes he chose to try. Alone or with his partner’s help – in case it got a little too complicated to handle considering his skill level but the least he could do was get the goods.

As he was lost in his own thoughts, he barely registered a woman walking straight towards him until it was far too late already. Dark eyes widened as a surprised gasp escaped him and even though John was quick to reach out with a gentle grip to steady her by her arms after the fairly harsh collision, he couldn’t save the notebooks that fell down. “God – no, that was on me, too,” the man was quick to say. “Sorry,” he added swiftly and leaned down to help her as best as he could before straightening up. He reached up to fix his glasses where they now sat slightyl crooked on the bridge of his nose and smoothed his hands down over the collar of his coat with an apologetic smile spreading across his lips. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

.

It was strange to bump into someone who displayed such seemingly genuine concern for her wellbeing, Caroline thought, specifically since she was the one who had caused the collision in the first place. While it wasn't often that she found herself running into others––even in New York, where the streets were measurably busier, filled to the brim with pedestrians who expected everyone to stay out of their way, rather than stepping aside for others––she knew it was more common to receive a snide comment or be shown the middle finger than be graciously stabilized. It was a relief, honestly, given that Caroline had worked a particularly strenuous shift and wasn't in the right state of mind to be snapped at or berated. As the man crouched to help her gather her things, she offered a thank you, standing up just in time to watch him fix the glasses that she had knocked askew.

"I'm fine, other than my ego being slightly bruised," Caroline admitted with a laugh. Her perfectionism did tend to extend to all areas of her life, so the lack of coordination and awareness it took to crash into a grown man with enough strength to scatter her notebooks across the ground was slightly embarrassing. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry again," she offered.

[carolinerhodes]

isaiahxcruz​:

He shook his head, blowing off her apologies. “Sometimes you just end up in la-la land, it’s all good!” Zay would know, it was quite rare for him to be focusing on any task at hand, even walking. “You got everything? Your phone okay?” he tried to take a glance at the rectangle in her hand, but couldn’t tell if there was any cracking. “You need anything else? Is anything broke? I can pay for it if it is– well, not all at once but…,”

.

Caught off guard by how polite he was, Caroline's smile remained as she reassured him, "I'm really okay, thank you." Taking interest in his comment about having to pay her in installments if any of her belongings were damaged, Caroline redirected her gaze to the ground, making sure she hadn't caused him to drop anything that he couldn't afford to replace. "You didn't drop anything, right?" she inquired, more as a formality given that she had answered her own question with her sweep of the area. "I think we're both relatively unscathed," Caroline nodded before adding another, "Thank you again," for good measure.

END.