Another world @carrotas - Tumblr Blog

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It's so attractive when someone has life experience. And even more attractive when their experience is different than yours.

So often i see this "i may be quiet..." quote.

But here I am, talkative, loud at time and yet I still have so much on my mind.

#3am thoughts #thoughts out loud #inspiration #you're not alone #it's okay

Today I did nothing...

... and that's allright. ❤️

Sometimes I need this reminder, so maybe someone needs it too 🎈

#3am thoughts #thoughts out loud #inspiration #it's okay #mental health #you got this

Random "journal" entry:

How to know you're on the right path?

One moment to see "signs" and for it all to feel so right, the other moment everything falling apart. Feeling like I'm following the pitch black walls in the darkness forward, just to end up back at the start.

The faint candle light flickering behind me. I've seen that candle for too long - it's comforting and terrifying at the same time. The room with the candle is small, but not cramped, it's cozy but that's all, it has walls and a roof , and a door. 1 single door with darkness behind and pitch black walls.

All I know - "path" feeling is either my imagination or it's there for a reason.

#3am thoughts #thoughts out loud

writingitdown

🌻 Your Core Numbers 🌻

In a numerology birth chart you have four core numbers. These numbers reveal what your major lessons are, associated challenges, your natural gifts and talents, and your inner desires and motivations!

✨Life Path✨

This holds the most power in your core! This is the number you find when adding all of the digits in your birthday. Here is where you find your life’s purpose, essentially. You see the main lessons and themes that you chose to learn in this lifetime, plus associated challenges. This is the focus of your life, and how you go about fulfilling these lessons can be shown in the rest of your core numbers!

💥Expression💥

This number holds the 2nd strongest position in your birth chart! It is also commonly called the Destiny number. It shows the potential skills and abilities you brought with you into this lifetime. Think of this as a guide to your natural gifts and talents! Some people will resonate more strongly with this number instead of their Life Path. Here you may find the ways that you best carry out your life’s purpose, and it is a good place to look for potential vocations.

💖Heart’s Desire💖

Also commonly called the Soul Urge number, this is the third most powerful number in your birth chart! It’s exactly what it sounds like: your innermost desires and motivations. It’s what you want out of life! Whether it be your career, environment, relationships — this number shows what you really want out of life.

🎂Birth Day🎂

This number has the least power in your core. It is the day of the month you were born and it reveals a sub-lesson! While your Life Path reveals the major lesson you’re here to learn, the Birth Day shows a minor lesson that will have an imprint on your life.

Essentially, the Life Path (& birth day, to an extent) is *what*, the Expression is the *how*, and the Heart’s Desire is the *why*

My thoughts...

My thoughts is what I put out here in my little space for anyone to see and yet my thoughts is the exact thing that is confusing to me.

I wish there would be a guide or direction, some template, maybe an instruction how to find a way for them to stop racing from one idea to another in an endless mess that's called "my mind". Instead I get an endless loop, endless race, chaotic run from one idea to another, the pictures in my head switching and not matching with what my mind is talking about making it oh so hard to understand.

Putting things, these restless thoughts in written form helps for a little. But I can't catch up when the thought comes and I get involved with it there is mostly no chance to write it down and I can be swimming deep in what came to me just to realise that it will be gone seconds from when I step back on land, taking the lead back from the journey of the infinite water that just now was so comfortable for my thoughts and now it's scattered again.

Like thousands of little marbles rolling in all sorts of directions and I can lock my eyes on one at a time, maybe see some with side vision. But the rest, those I can't follow and that run away - those are the marbles that make even me curious , but their story, their paths won't ever be fully seen again, at best only a small glance at one moment or the other will show itself to me.

My thoughts...

It's confusing and tiring constantly having all these thoughts, so many and racing in all directions. They make me confused, scared, worried, restless, wishing I would just be able to have focus on one or the other , even if not for long... just long enough for me to understand myself.

#thoughts out loud #3am thoughts #mind

While my mind is not sober today, it's clouded and i caused it myself. It's not bad but raises thoughts while feeling grounded. The thoughts feel light and more fascinating than ever, because of all the focus i put on each one. It feels relaxing to have such clouded mind - it's so busy yet so free, it's wondering from one lamp post on the dark street to the other - not knowing the darkness in between, like the dark spots never existed yet upon every new light spot the previous one is almost gone out of memory.

The taste of a hot, overly sweet tea, it's warning and satisfying yet not clenching my thirst. The deep breath i take is filled with this bubbling sound, causing me to cough. This sound of my cough mixes with the sound on the background and makes a mixture of "here and now". It's grounding yet so relaxing.

And the touch under the very top of my fingertips - from the blanket I'm covered with to the "buttons" or letters on my screen writing all this , the rough structure on my jacket, but the best of them - those small buttons on my fidget cube , pressed a few at a time. And again it's grounding.

Not worried about the spaces "in between" , not wondering about the airy things, this just feels like my mind is taking a break. A break that will end soon enough, but a break. From what? even I don't know , nothing bad, yet something not grounded at all.

#thoughts out loud #without thinking

I can't draw well enough so I'll just try to write descriptions for now. I'll keep them here in hopes not to lose them for when or if they can come to life.

Description 1:

A girl standing in front of the mirror seen from the back, reflection facing the view. She has gouache paint on the table next to her, several already open, few paintbrushes dipped and left in the water, few left out on the table, with paint still on it making colourful spots on the table. Few straigns of her hair in the back already painted messy with different colours , holding yet another straign of hair from the front with one hand and paintbrush with green colour on it with the other hand. She's closing up with the paintbrush on the hair she's holding as if she's about to paint it. Her face expression looks serious, but if you look deeper you can see that it's focused, she's focused on painting her hair different colours because when she'll look back at it already coloured , a childlike sense of accomplishment and genuine smile will come up uncontrollably because of how fun it is to paint her hair with gouache paint.