Sorn's idiotic guide to casual relationships (Part 2)
When your sex friend goes home to see his family, invite yourself along to meet up with them.
2. Rip him away from the guy he's drunkenly trying to hook up with. Out of the kindness of your heart, of course. It's not like you're going to do it instead.
3. Berate him for mentioning another guy after you brought his drunk ass back to your place.
4. Figure out why he tried to sleep with another guy so it never happens again.
5. Ok, so you are going to have sex with his intoxicated self, but only because when you generously offer to teach him anything he wanted, he expressed an interest in bottoming. It's not like you could let him try with someone else.
6. Make breakfast for him the morning after. Invite him to stay another night and then pout when he insists on going back to his dorm.
7. When you're at work, gaze at him so longingly that other coworkers express their concern.
8. You sense that the delivery guy might have looked at him for more than three seconds, so you hover over him while you demand to know what they were talking about. You do this in the middle of the office, like the true professional that you are.
9. Invite him to eat with you. Since he won't stay at your place, you can at least have meals together every day like totally normal sex friends.
10. Make jokes about marrying him.
11. Pick him up from work and lure him back to your place with food.
12. Threaten him with kisses when you guys argue because he doesn't want to come over.
13. Hand feed him the dinner you made for him, then sulk because once again he persists on returning to his dorm.
14. Offer to give him a ride. When you arrive teach him how to give a kiss that makes one long for more. The kiss apparently works on you too though, because you pretend to be too tired to drive back so that you can stay in his pigsty of a room.
15. When he tries to break off the arrangement with you, persuade him to continue by putting down his bed skills so he'll feel how necessary you are and won't find someone else.
16. Tell him to break it off with the guy he's flirting with. When he calls you out for acting like an overly possessive boyfriend, assert that there's no feelings involved.
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