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“Oh yeah?”, he raised an eyebrow and reached his arm forward so that his hand pressed against the door behind Ethan. “No sugar daddy and you sold your soul to the Man? Tsk tsk.. something must be done.”

Its a common self-love tactic to keep from believing you need anyone else to feel one with yourself, but Caspar never did too much to maintain his outer self much less his inner self. Happily he plunged into Ethan’s metaphorical arms, wading in bliss and finally being in touch with himself. Take Ethan from Caspar and what life is there left for him to lead? He couldn’t figure it out before and he knew it wasn’t worth trying to find the answer. Especially not when the universe just handed him a lifeline like this.

“You haven’t asked me what I’ve been doing which is not only super fucking rude”, he put his free hand on his hip to fake an attitude he doesn’t possess. “but its also a bummer. I had so many solid lies to lay on you.”

#c:ethan #casthan #i miss this so much :(#i miss rping so much #and i miss the exchange :(#wth

ellismiranda

#FCK U #me #myself

“I always pictured you living in a city like this”, he slowed to a stop, laughing slightly. “Fucking Seattle...typical.” This was comfortable for him, there was a balance in his psyche that didn’t surprise him. A peace fell over him and it wasn’t any run of the mill type of peace. It was a peace that only Ethan could bring. “Like what are you, a barista or something?”, he teased. Considering the fact that Ethan could never know what value he held, he couldn’t even picture it if he tried, was a hard thing for Caspar to wrap his brain around. Mostly because it was one of the only things he was absolutely sure of...actually, he was sure of only two things. That Ethan is essential and that grilled cheese is the perfect food. Thats what he has to show for his 23 years on the planet and he couldn’t see any problem with that. Much less matters to you when you're in love.

Some sort of temporary, synthetic confidence washed over him and motived his steps forward in Ethan’s direction as he began, “So..”. He stopped directly in front of the other and kept his eyes cast at their feet as he lightly kicked the rubber front end of Ethan’s shoes. “..are you paying rent here all on your lonesome?”, he concluded after the pause, meeting his eyes again. Every bone in his body was dedicated to helping him keep his cool as he braced himself. Could he honestly assume that Ethan had waited for him this entire time?

#c:ethan #casthan #the other was BETTER #but thats fine tumblr whatever #also why u mad @me

Caspar was in shock that he’d even made it this far now he was invited in? He thoroughly prepared for the door to be slammed in his face, to get cussed out, or to just get no response at all. This wasn’t okay, he wasn’t good enough, he didn’t deserve this, but he couldn’t stop being selfish. Not for one second could he put someone else’s best interests before his own desires, not even for the one person he loved more than he could love anything else and he carried this guilt as he walked over the threshold into Ethan’s world. After slightly stumbling over his feet while inspecting the new space, he began walking backwards down the hallway. He didn’t feel comfortable taking his eyes off of him. “Wanna know something?”, he asked as a stupid grin creeped onto his face.

#c:ethan #casthan #w/e !!!!!!!!!

Air was punched out of Caspar’s lungs the second Ethan appeared in the doorway. His entire body felt brand new and he suddenly was able to feel everything down to the very threads in his sweatshirt. Trying not to focus on the other’s fist grasping at his shirt, Caspar’s arm flew out from his side and slammed against the door to make sure it would stay how it was. “Wait..”, he finally whispered, sounding exasperated. His eyes shifted from his hand on the door next to them to the eyes of the man a foot from him. After getting lost for a second he absent mindedly spoke again, “I’m sorry.” The second the words left his lips, though, he realized the weight of what he just said. “I’m.. sorry.”, he repeated again, just more sure of himself this time. He hadn’t really expected an answer nor did the apology need one considering it probably meant next to nothing so the nerves got the best of him and caused him to quickly add, “n-nice place.”

#c:ethan #casthan #WHO ACCIDENTALLY #STABS #SOME #ONE

The pressure was unreal, the breakdown in his brain was near an unbearable level, but he still walked towards the door. Caution had definitely been tossed to the wind, the odds against him were astounding but he didn't care. The way he saw it, if it went badly and he got physically or emotionally stomped on, it was warranted. On one hand he hoped to hurt himself. Deep down, maybe, that was a big reason why he was there. He knocked on the door and his mind fell silent for the first time in months. The silence was thick and suffocating but then again he was also holding his breath. So much led up to this moment and now it was completely out of his control. It was slightly comforting but nothing could be as comforting as seeing his loves face in front of him again.

#c:ethan #casthan #my heart has never been more on the line #not since he got STABBED

hunterparrishfake

I miss this shit so much..

.....

ooc: i'm not sure if you are still around but i still wanted to tell you how lovely you are. you're such an approachable person and talking to you is not a hard thing to do because you're so sweet. caspar is a goofball i love seeing on the dash, though i love seeing his more serious and caring side as well. keep being awesome<3

i love you whoever you are i wish you were still here!!!!!!

You are a really amazing writer and portray Cas in such an interesting way. He's funny, but at the same time knows when to be serious. Thank you so much for being a part of this rp. <3

omg I'm crying...........

ethanskied

tiny kisses make for the biggest of excitements . ethans hands working to grip onto caspar in whatever way possible . dull nails digging into his skin , leaving half crescent moon marks upon the tight flesh of his back . he holds onto him as if he were sand that would slip through his fingers ───── that fear of loss so settled into the bedding of his heart that he cannot bring himself to believe any of this is real . even as whispers are consumed by his itching ears , reassuring him of the true that lies within this moment . he lets himself remain blind to it all . that is the consequence of abandonment . a shiver runs up his spine when he feels caspars digit digging into the collar of his jumper , it loosens the noose wrapped so tightly there . ethan is wearing nothing underneath that dressing , and without missing a beat , lets go of the other only for the seconds it takes to remove the garment .

his body is nothing but kinetic energy , waiting for the moment when he’ll start to roll down hill in release . hands inch away from cas’ back , instead trailing a path to the front of his jeans . index fingers hooking themselves to the loops as the rest touch the skin that lies underneath his t shirt . unlike caspar , ethan did not become a cold corpse of a person . instead he grew hot . everything within him whithering away in the heat of the others absence . it burnt and left him barren . his stitching frayed . BUT NOW his darlings hands worked as a needle and thread , with every touch he came together again . caspars name forever would be embroidered underneath his third rib . it would connect to his heart strings that seem to always lead him back to this one boy . building up courage , he presses soft kisses to the fabric of the others shirt , lifting it up after every one . lowering himself until knees hit the ground , and lips are now moving along naked flesh . eyes that are sprinkled with longing , flicker upward at the others cant head . ‘ i can show you too …’ a low voice , a tongue running over already wet lips .

casmparo

The small pinches of Ethan's nails in his back felt like the release on pressure points. It was soothing and soon there would be visible marks to match the unseen ones on his soul. The same person being responsible for both.

Caspar watched Ethan remove his shirt, noting his expression as he did and how it took him this long to realize his own stomach was tied up in knots. But why? This was home to him, this was where he was meant to be and he didn't have a single doubt about where he wanted to spend his days or nights. Or more specifically, with whom he wanted to devote that time.

His abdomen clenched and relaxed as Ethan adorned his body with the kisses he had been deficient of for so long. Even the largest dosage wasn't going to be enough, he ached for it all, his desire only growing as he felt the others breath on his skin right above the lining of his jeans as he spoke.

One hand fell, brushing against Ethan's that was hooked onto his belt loop. He unbutton and unzipped his pants, but left it there to look down at the other. It was right to make sure he was doing this because he wanted to. Caspar didn't deserve much at this point, after all.

#c:ethan #casthan

stfuelle

At the touch of his hand on her cheek, she struggled not to pull away. She was so used to shutting people down. She had managed to destroy her defences, stop the war with the world, and yet it had only brought her more confusion and pain ultimately, it was her own fatal flaw that she was too proud to admit it. Finally, through a small breath, she lifted her hand to meet his on her face, her eyes darting rapidly, as if she was already planning her escape. Fingers gently coiled around his hand and she flatted it against her face, closing her eyes for a fleeting second of nothing but silence, “Nobody.” Her words were light, as if they were nt really hers at all, and her next breath came shaky. Everyone had their breaking point— This much was a truth that was universal. Elle Griffin just hadn’t recognised whether this was hers. Her eyes were wild with doubts, averting from his face as her fingers started to gently slide away from his hand, “I… I don’t know what’s wrong,” soft words, laced with confusion and despair, “I think I broke me.”

casmparo

It was a little unfair. He felt like he was being toyed with, but he also felt like that feeling only came from a dark place. She seemed genuine so he had to cut the skeptics. Plus, it was Elle he was talking to as corny as that came across. Say what you want about Elle, and people certainly would if he remembered correctly, but at least she was honest. It was refreshing and safe. If she said this wasn't some twisted dare or something even worse, than it wasn't. But he wasn't sure what was scarier, that she could be messing with him or that she wasn't at all. So far he'd found any way possible to accidentally detonate every good relationship he had in his life. He couldn't let Elle get in his line of fire, he wouldn't. "Oh, shut up.", he scoffed, letting out a short low laugh as he stepped back and turned to sit back in his chair. "You're not broken. Dramatic, maybe. But, then again, what else is new." Rolling over to his bed so he sat in his chair next to the mattress, he patted on it to pull her out from cowering over by the door. "So if there was something.... wrong. And you did feel a.... certain way about me. Hypothetically speaking, of course", he began. "Why would you feel that all of a sudden? What changed?"

#c:elle #caselle #this probably doesn't make any fucking sense #im basically writing in my sleep

stfuelle

She was almost taken aback by his comment about mourning, but as usual she offered the simplest most sarcastic answer, “Funny.” Her words were more dry than normal, her voice quieting at the end of the word as she finally stopped, her hands meeting to mess with the bracelet on her wrist, her blue eyes flickering towards him and then back down several times, “Further? Like what? Like…” her voice drew off in a strange unfinished way, her eyes barely moving from his face, “I love you.” She stood still, the words setting in around her for a second, her eyes slightly wider than normal as she closed her mouth. She was surprised at herself, scattered thoughts, strange connections, things were piling up on top of her and she didn’t know what she was doing any longer, other than being violently confused and jumbled up inside, “Because I totally don’t,” she almost attempted to laugh, but her eyes gave her away if the strange resignation in her voice did not.

casmparo

For a split second, he could feel her entertaining what he was saying. He was affecting her in some way and this was a feeling he was always working towards whenever he was around Elle. Surprisingly, though, he didn't do it out of any selfish reasons. Elle was the type of person to speak volumes, but he was shocked to find no one was listening. Instead, he found himself happy to walk up to the plate to do what no one else bothered doing. He never, however, thought he'd be on the receiving end of the words that packed the biggest punch. The tables had turned, now she was affecting him. He inhaled as discretely as possible trying to catch his breath, then he stood, advancing towards her. With only the smallest bit of space between them then, he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. Caspar stayed quiet for a minute, looking her over but didn't let himself get caught up in her deep blue eyes. He pulled away abruptly. "Who put you up to this?"

#c:elle #caselle

stfuelle

Opening the door without any frets, Elle walked in, in her normal fashion she showed no interest in the possibility he was busy, looking surprisingly more uptight than usual as she paced around the room, her arms crossed, saying nothing. “Look!” she finally swung around, her face pained, as if she was about to give him the worst news in the world, as if her words were hurting her as they physically left her lips; dosing her in discomfort in every possible way. Arms frenzied movement, “I have to say something, but don’t take it the wrong way, ugh, you’re going to take it the wrong way,” she fretted, her speech falling to pieces around her. Her lips stayed firmly shut for many seconds, her eyes narrowing at him, despite the fact she was mainly concerned about her own self preservation in that moment, finally with what seemed like an annoyed groan, she spoke, “I missed you.”

casmparo

Leaned over a desk, pen in hand, Caspar was left in an artistic slump that was nearly visible. That was, until, his door flung open and gave way to an Elle in an even bigger tizzy. His head shot up, looking over at her like she'd busted out of the loony bin. But as she paced and began to ramble, his contorted expression broke into a grin. One spin in his wheeled chair and he was facing her, elbows on the arm rests and hands intertwined looking as though he'd foreseen this moment and was more than pleased to find his wait was over. "Yeah and how's that treatin ya? I see you're wearing black. Mourning the death of your dignity?", even as he spoke his grin grew slyly. "If you're trying to go for the shock factor, you're almost there. But you could always take it a step further." He turned his head to the side and tapped his cheek, insinuating something he knew would make her recoil in disgust at even the idea of taking him up on his challenge.