[chefpyro]

mindful education

connie: i feel bad about thing

steven: thats ok you just gotta bottle that mother flipper right up and let it slowly devour you from the inside

garnet: okay im gonna stop you right there

[cassyisms-blog]

i’m not one who asks for help normally, but what i am about to ask for is extremely important to me. this past weekend, i had the amazing opportunity to attend my local HOBY seminar. they taught me what it means to be a leader of my generation, that the person who picked me to attend this seminar saw something in me. after the things i’ve been through these past three years, that was the most impactful thing something has said to me. this program has given me confidence to be able to call the CEO of HOBY and get our national service project for the Orlando shooting victims’ families up and going. ( i’m Shelby in that, by the way ) this experience is everything i could ever ask for.

which is why i’m asking for your help.

i’ve been a part of the roleplay community for a while now. most people knew me as kenzisms. i’m asking for your financial support, or just a reblog so more people can see this. there is a week long seminar held in Chicago called the World Leadership Congress. i have to raise $1,825 for registration by June 26th && that doesn’t even cover my airfare from kentucky. absolutely any donation will help. this trip would be so much to me. i will be able to meet leaders of my generation from all over the world to work together on community service and other projects. 

please consider donating anything to my fund. this would mean everything.

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

      the look of content that floods his features when cassidy kisses       him is nearly awe-worthy. he presses forward,    just enough to       take her breath away in the best possible way. “ and lucky them,       because they’re comin’ to the daycare with us. at least, for  part       of the trip. ” he’s smug, “ you ready to go, angel ?? ”

        the second he pulled away, it was evident how happy he made         her; it flooded over every feature of her face. you’d have to be         b l i n d to not see it. “ of course. “ she forced her gaze to be torn         away from him, looking back at the camera. “ we’ll see you in a bit,         nerds. “ with that, the camera was now off and she turned to him         with a slight smirk. “ you do realize what we have to tease them         with now, right? “ ( A SELFIE. )

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

       “ rehab just– it makes me nervous, cass. ” he swallows,  chewing        on the inside of his cheek. “ it’s an option, but … a last resort one,        y’know ??  like, i wouldn’t want to do that first. ”    it’s not that he’s        scared of rehab. except maybe he is. he’s just heard stories, from        old ‘friends’.       “ i think that … i just need you to check up on me,        like– my arms, and stuff. for now. ”

     she nodded in understanding, her lips quirking up to provide      some reassurance. “ that’s okay. i can do that. “ her thumb rubs      the back of his neck in soft circles. “ just breathe. i’m not going      to force you to do anything. “ cassidy bites her bottom lip.      “ if i find anything, what do you need me to do ??? “

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

         eleven. eleven years old. ethan nearly   chokes when he hears it,          “ you were– just a kid, cass. oh my god,   he … ”       he swallows,          takes a moment to compose himself.      “ when it’s time for us, i’ll          make everything special. s’a promise. ” he says, more like a note          to self than anything. his stomach does a flip when she  mentions          it … like he forgot about his own confession. “ oh, no– s’fine. i, uh.          it’s been y e a r s, started when i was fifteen. i got hooked around          a year after … just, i thought i could handle it. ”

     his words make her heart LEAP in response. their time; their special time.      one day, it would come && it would be perfectly imperfect and she would      never regret a second of it. cassidy k n o w s that. “ i don’t doubt that. “      the corners of her lips twitch up, gazing at him with undeniable love. it      fell at the details of his own confession, her eyes steeling into a determined      gaze. “ ethan, you are going to get better. and i am here for you, forever. “      a pause. “ what do you think will help? ... rehab? “

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

       “ five days, to be exact– but who’s counting, right ?? ” the taller        of the two teases, grin plastered across his face.  “ nerdykris is        officially canon, you heard it here first …       well, actually,  you        probably heard the rumors first– whatever. point still stands.   i        love cass && cass loves me. forever and ever. right, angel ?? ”

          hearing the word ‘ officially ‘ made her grin widen && her           heart skip a beat. they finally weren’t hiding anymore. it           wasn’t an april fools joke or something to mess with the           fans --- this was REAL. “ right, darling. “ and just to seal           the deal ( and made the audience go crazy ), the blonde           leaned over && pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss.

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan:

        he swallows, nodding.   “ yeah, no  — i know, just … there isn’t         any rush. i just mean– there’s  never been, but especially now.         i’m glad you told me. it’s just   … hard to wrap my head around;         that someone could do that to their daughter– to you. ” ethan’s         hold on her tightens the slightest bit, like maybe he can protect         her from the past && the horrors that lie in it. “ did he … ” pause,         he doesn’t a want to pry. “ — how old were you when he, um …         started ?? ” another pause. “ your brothers, too? ” pause, again.         “ you don’t have to answer that. i’m sorry. ”       he’s just trying to         wrap his head around this. 

    she understood his frustration; that question haunted her for her      entire life. who could DO something like this with no regrets ???     “ ethan, it’s okay. i don’t mind to answer. “ a pause. take a deep     breath. “ he - .. uh, he started when i was eleven. it didn’t stop until     i turned fourteen. he didn’t do... that to my brothers, but he didn’t     leave them out. “ she realized that details would be a bit better.     “ it didn’t happen o f t e n, but it happened. my brothers didn’t know     until i was fourteen. that’s when they couldn’t take it anymore. “     but this wasn’t just about her. she wanted to know more about him.     “ uh, don’t feel pressured to answer but --- how long have you been,     uhm... ya know? again, please don’t answer if you don’t want to. “

[xgrizzyx]

[orcshaming]

i know this is supposed to be about long distance relationships but i like to imagine that it’s also a short joke

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan        

       “ ridiculous ?  yes. lovable ?  also yes. ” ethan teases, leaning to        rest his head on her shoulder. he probably looks     awestruck in        the camera’s view && to be honest, he is. he’s constantly  made        aware of how l u c k y he is whenever he sees her. “ cass, you’re        gonna make ‘em nervous. ” he teases, directing his eyes back  to        the camera. “ this is my girlfriend — my girl. i love her. ”

            a pout settles on her lips. “ you ruined the fuuuuun. “ a joking             tone slipped into her whine, the grin on her lips not helping her             ( failed ) attempt to be serious. her gaze went back towards the             the camera, a genuine gleam of happiness apparent in her eye.             “ and this is my boyfriend --- i love him. “ she mocked, then              became serious. “ so, there you go, you shipping nerds. ethan             kris and cassidy naramore are o f f i c i a l l y dating. technically,             our 6 month anniversary is in a couple of days. “ her head turned             slightly to be able to face him, her eyebrows furrowing. “ right? “

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

       green eyes go wide at her words,   his pulse quickens. “ cass — ”        he whispers her name like it’s the   most important secret    in the        world, he even has to take a moment before he can t o u c h  her;        not because the secret changes them … but because he’s   damn        near seething — how D A R E someone lay a hand on their child;        on cassidy … ethan could kill her father. realizing silence is  pretty        much the opposite of what cass needs, he wills himself to breathe.        then, “ i don’t —… i’m so sorry, angel. you deserve–        so much        better than that. i … you can get past it. i’m here. i’m with you;  we        can do this. ” he swallows, “ i’d never make you do …     THAT with        me. you know that, yeah ?? c’mere, closer. ” he holds      his arms        open, not waiting before he’s pulling her into his lap.  “ we don’t  …        need to do that, y’know ?? that should be … something you want.        i could never —- make you. ”

           her head shakes quickly at his words and reaction. “ no, it’s            o k a y. it happened when i was really young && i’m stronger             because of it. i don’t want to make a big deal out of it. i just            wanted you to know that you aren’t alone with your past. “             cassidy keeps her arms around his neck, locking their gazes.            she doesn’t want him to feel like she n e v e r wants to be             intimate with him. honestly, she wants it more than anything.            but with the psychological a u t o m a t i c reaction to the            situation, she needs help before it can happen. “ no no no,            i want to... someday. && i know you’d never force me, but            i do want to. i’ve been seeing a therapist and i am going to            get there. WE are going to get there, together. we will both             get better. “

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

       taking cassidy to austrailia had been such an easy decision;        after several months of dating, it was time for her to see  his        home …. && time for them to let their viewers know. he trails        not far behind her, leans his head on   her shoulder once he        catches up. “ — like kim k., that one time. break the internet.        er … y’know, without the nudity. ” there’s a gentle peck going        to her cheek, then another to the skin of her shoulder,    just        where his the flannel has slipped down.       “ they better get        ready … because i’m ready for everyone to know that you’re                                a l l              M I N E. ”

           her eyes closed as the soft sensation of his lips grazed her skin,            letting out a chuckle at his comment. “ you’re ridiculous. “ back to            the v l o g, eyelids fluttered back open to look straight into the lens            to talk to her their audience. “ sooooooo, you may have heard that            right, nerds. depending on what you wanted to hear.” she teased,            leaning back against her boyfriend’s body. “ we are currently in             australia, visiting ethan’s family and friends because of a certain            situation we have been in for a couple of months. “ cassidy just            loved to make the viewers squirm.            

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

        he visibly calms when she voices her forgiveness, his breathing slowly         returns to normal. “ i just — i need you, y’know ?? … i love you. ”  and         even if L O V E has almost always been a foreign concept to him,   he         knows that this is real. there’s no other word to describe this. but then,         she’s speaking again && his ears would perk up at the     confession if         they could.  “ w — what ?? … what’re you talking ‘bout, cass? ”

         thumbs stroke gently against his cheeks, her eyes glistening with          unshed tears. “ i need you just as much as you need me. and i will          be here for you every single step of the way. “ t a l k i n g  about it           means that it is real && cass wasn’t sure if she was prepared to          make that commitment. a deep breath. “ ethan, i ---- “ another           breath. “ there’s a reason for why i don’t talk about my dad and          why i don’t want to go any further than kissing. “ leaning her           forehead against his, she c r a v e d his touch. any sort of comfort.          “ the --- uh, the whole story isn’t important, but i am sure you can          put two and two together. “

[cassyisms-blog]

            “ i am almost 1000% positive we are going to b r e a k             the fandom, eth. “ the camera was held easily in her hand             ( like she doesn’t do this for a living or whatever ) as her             small feet padded against the wooden floor of his old             childhood home. on her top was a button up flannel that             was obviously way too big for her && definitely was ethans.             the couple had been together for a good few months, but             no announcement was made. when they planned the trip             to australia, they figured when else was a better time to tip             off the fans to their relationship?? “ they’re not ready. “

[cassyisms-blog]

x. wreckethan

         his bottom lip is absolutely trembling; his confession makes him feel          w e a k — it’s new. he always has on a facade, always   keeps THIS          hidden from the world. “ i didn’t .. i thought i could just stop, y’know?          whenever i wanted. i thought i was in control. ”   his hands travel up,          wind themselves into his hair & they t u g . “ i’m sorry, cass.  i’m  so,          so sorry. ”

     her reaction was a u t o m a t i c. her feet carried her to close the      distance between the two of them, small hands wandering up to      GRASP the ones caught in his hair, pausing the tugging. “ it’s okay.      i forgive you. “ slender fingers travel up to cup his cheeks, eyes      locking. “ did you hear me? i forgive you. and we are going to get      through this. i love you. “ a pause. should she? he couldn’t feel alone      in this. “ eth --- .... you aren’t the only one with secrets; that needs      h e l p. i’m just as guilty. “ a shaky breath. more silence.

[wreckethan-blog]

         “ cass ??  i have a problem … ” he isn’t talking about  the battle wounds of self-harm    that          liter the pale skin beneath his bracelets. no. that   would be e a s i e r to discuss; it’s a topic          he’s gone over in a few videos & talked to plenty about. this is current. ethan’s talking about           the more discrete little marks on his arms— the needle-marks.       “ the first step to getting           better is telling someone, right ??   i — i want to be better. for you. for us. i just … it’s drugs,           cass, not - not just pot, or some shrooms. you’ve seen that part of me, y’know. it’s worse …           it’s heroin. if it’s not heroin, it’s pills. there’s always something.     i feel like - like i need it & i           don’t want it anymore, cass. i want to stop. ”

[cassyisms-blog]

        to say she was s h o c k e d would be an understatement. it definitely

        wasn’t something she had expected to hear from his mouth, let alone

        in that precise moment in time. “ i --- ... “ what do you say to that ??

        “ okay. if you want to get better, i can help you. “ but there was so much

        more to say than just that. “ eth, i -- “ a step forward. “ i want you to know

        that i don’t look at you any differently. i love you & i am so proud you’ve

        told me. “ another step. “ i will help you. i promise. “