tw: ed!!!

height: 5’9/175 cw: i have no idea ugw: 100>/45>

[castlesandlilacs]

im back🥳 i took a break and oh my god even when i let myself binge i can never ever feel full. might as well eat less then LMAO😍 wish me luck, i feel like i gained sm:( what are some good specific diets i can go on?

[castlesandlilacs]

My dad literally saw me body check and he gave me a weird look I’m gonna kms that was so weird

[water-underwater-ii]

all it should take if you’re disciplined enough is three to four months. you’ll be at you goal weight in four months.

the food will still be there in four months. mcdonald’s will still exist in four months. that donut place will still be there after four months. food won’t leave, it’ll still be there when you’re skinny. why eat it now? why not eat it when you’ve reached your goal?

[ what i tell myself every time. ]

[castlesandlilacs]

How am I somehow binging on GUM- I’ve had like an entire container of 60 pieces in 2 days bye

[castlesandlilacs]

MY MOM NOTICED I LOST WEIGHT IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY RN OMG I DIDNT THINK IT WAS EVEN NOTICEABLE I CANT WAIT TO LOSE SM MORE

[skinny-lou]

Can my eating disorder either go away completely or be bad enough that I’m actually skinny

[castlesandlilacs]

my mom took away the scale and measuring tape so I can’t rly tell if I’ve lost weight but just by looking at me my stomach has gotten sm smaller and my arms are a little smaller too... I wish I could measure myself or something I’m so anxious

[castlesandlilacs]

I feel trapped in my own fat body

[cribblingdebression]

my least favorite part of having an eating disorder is the constant arguing and bargaining in your head. racing thoughts all the fuckin time like, “okay I’ve had 75 calories today. I can have a banana and still be under 200. wait, 1200 is still considered restriction. how much would I lose this week with a daily deficit of 500 calories? I can do that. I’ll still lose weight. but not as much as if I fasted. no. just have nothing. you could lose 3.5 lbs. this week! just have nothing. people do it every day. just have a fucking banana. you won’t even be at maintenance. but what if it triggers a binge? think about your jawline. why don’t I just have everything I want and purge? what percentage can you get back up when you purge? hey google…” AND IT NEVER STOPS.

[fairylight-pixi]

this is how i spend most nights instead of sleeping 

[castlesandlilacs]

and i still end up binging 😢

[tinykoalabear]

me: *has an eating disorder for years*

me: *is still not even close to being thin*

[guy-getting-skinny]

ME ME ME fuck

[castlesandlilacs]

FIVE YEARS. FIVE YEARS AND IM STILL A PIG

[castlesandlilacs]

ugh i’d give everything to look like ellen from to the bone rn

[castlesandlilacs]

omfg i just binged i literally hate myself 🤪🤪

[delph1e]

"fuck my eating disorder" i say, as i binge on everything in the kitchen as if that isn’t. a part of. my disorder

[castlesandlilacs]

and then i’m like well clearly i’m faking it 👍🏻

[castlesandlilacs]

how do i stop my skin from breaking out super bad when restricting :/ it’s so frustrating and i’m even more insecure because i’m fucking fat and my skin is disgusting now...

[castlesandlilacs]

oh my god i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body i hate my body

[dietcoke-and-razorblades]

me after a binge: I will get skinny I will never eat again I’m gonna be so thin this time next month

me after not eating for five (5) hours: ok but how bad do I really wanna b skinny tho

[castlesandlilacs]

me rn 😐 i ate sm i couldn’t even bear to track it in my calorie app :((

[castlesandlilacs]

i did ok today :)