STEFANI JOANNE ANGELINA GERMANOTTA, also known as Lady Gaga, Joanne or Mama Monster. Thirty-five years. Singer. Songwriter. Record producer. Actress. Businesswoman and philanthropist. Billboard’s Woman of the Year. Founder of the Born This Way foundation and Haus Laboratories. Guinness world record breaker. Madonna’s biggest fan, even if the feeling ain’t mutual. Lover of cookies, wigs and lavender. ( var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5648861"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); )
“I’m sorry that I’m out of ideas, never been in the situation myself,” He laughed, “I’m sure you could find a few suitors, you are lady Gaga.” Ben gave her a small nudge. “That’s true, I bet the two of them are absolutely made up.” He was pretty sure he hadn’t seen the two of them without a smile on their face for nine months now, it was great to see, wonderful in fact. “People who wear socks to bed are the people you have to worry about in life. How on earth can they get comfy, wouldn’t you be roasting? I have so many questions for them. I’ve just been working a lot, think it tires me out quicker now cause of the relaxing I’ve done here.” Ben said with a small shrug. He hated lying but sometimes one had to.
‘I have heard there’s a few people who find the whole pregnancy-thing attractive, but I think I’ll pass. I barely have the energy to get up and pee. I’m not sure I could muster up the strength for a full horizontal hokey-pokey work-out too.’ Stef chuckled, moving her hand affectionately over the bump she knew would bring her friends so much joy. ‘It’s definitely a strange one. Almost as strange as only sleeping with one pillow. I need all the pillows. At least seventeen.’ She’s not even sure that’s an exaggeration. Taylor alway used to laugh at how long it took them to actually get into bed, spending a good ten minutes removing all the decorative cushions she’d placed on it first. ‘Ah, work hard, sleep harder. The lesser known motto.’
“Delivery,” Taylor announced as he held the pile of tartan shirts in his arms, smiling brightly to the blonde.
Stef was in a rather peculiar position when Taylor entered, head in another pregnancy book while bouncing on a birthing ball. Anything to try and speed the process up. These little monsters needed to come out. If he’d arrived fifteen minutes earlier, he would’ve busted her eating hot curry for breakfast too. Looking up, a smile immediately broke out on her features when she saw who it was. ‘My favourite kind of delivery.’ Book was placed down in favour of making grabby hands at the shirts. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’
“Nope sorry, all I know is the old wives tales, about eating spicy food and balancing on an exercise ball.” He chuckled. He didn’t have kids himself, and all his friends who had, had kids he hadn’t been that involved, so who knew if those were true. “People who aren’t grumpy when they wake up, those are the people you need to be worried about. Don’t worry about it honestly, chill out as much as you like.”
‘Oh, I’ve tried all of those. I even tried eating a hot curry while bouncing on the freaking ball. Didn’t work. Mostly it just gave me indigestion. Short of having sex, I’m running outta options and no one wants to have sex with a balloon,’ Gaga admitted with a laugh. ‘It’ll be all worth it when they do come out though. I can’t wait to see Matt and Darren’s faces.’ Being a surrogate was quite the gift. ‘God, I know. They’re almost as untrustworthy as people who sleep wearing socks. — Thanks. So, I know what’s got me so tired, but what about you? What’cha been up to?’
‘It’s not uncommon for unpredictable and charming to go together in the same sentence. — It is uncommon to throw rotten fruit into the mix though. How did that happen?’
Perrie carefully shut the door behind her, holding her hands up in mock surrender when she saw the other glance up. “Please don’t throw rotten fruit at me.”
‘I have neither the energy or the inclination. Is that something people do around here sometimes?’
“No, no I’m sorry.” Ben said as he realised he’d been taking up space that was needed by the very pregnant woman. “It’s okay, no harm done, I’m just a little grumpy when first woken up. Can I get you anything?”
Stef smiled at his offer, shaking her head. ‘Not unless you’ve got the power to encourage these little monsters out. They’re running late.’ Hand pet her bump. Despite the words, however, she sounded more fond than frustrated. She desperately wanted Matt and Darren to finally meet their little ones, but the babbas obviously took after their diva-fathers. ‘Don’t worry, I’m grumpy when people wake me up too. I promise I wouldn’t have done it if my swollen feet weren’t desperate.’
Ben let out a groan as he snuggled further into the couch cushion, feeling the weight of someone setting on the coach. “Sleeping,” He mumbled, pulling his coat tighter around his shoulder.
‘Sorry,’ Stef was quick to apologise. She’d tried her hardest not to disturb him. He looked pretty peaceful, but needs-must. The woman needed to take some weight off her swollen feet and that big, ol’ bump made quite a dip in the couch. ‘Lady with two babies had to sit. I didn’t mean to wake you up.’ An apologetic smile was offered.