Comedy Central's Indecision

News, politics and other jokes. From your friends at Comedy Central. cc.com/indecision Your hosts on this Tumblr: @maryps, @riverclegg, & @igerner.

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The Chicago Tribune has been looking for a buyer for the past few years. Looks like BuzzFeed didn't have the cash to buy it outright, but it did rent the front page for about 16 minutes.

Screengrab via @ejacqui

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F***ing slutbag. Nice f***ing glamour shot on the cover of the Daily News. Man, see if you ever get a job in this town again.

Anthony Weiner's Communications Director Barbara Morgan, ranting about a former  intern who wrote an unflattering portrayal of life on the Weiner campaign trail.

Technically, calling someone a slutbag is a form of communication, but maybe not a good one.

Still, Morgan is right about one thing: front page glamour shots are totally out of line for a member of the Weiner campaign. The only Weiner-sanctioned photo medium is the grainy cell phone pic, obviously.

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Not only has San Diego Mayor Bob Filner (D-Creepytown) admitted to harassing his female staffers, he's now asking the City Council (read: taxpayers) to pick up the tab for his legal defense against the sexual harassment suits filed against him.

But how did California voters come to trust this guy in the first place? Maybe it was his charming smile.

Sure, his hands say, "I'm a grope-y perv whom you can't possibly trust," but his face says... uh... okay, his face says the same thing. Maybe it wasn't the smile.

Photo via @michaelhayes

[ourpresidents]

LBJ Signs the Medicare Bill

On July 30, 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed Medicare into law.  The event took place at the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and LBJ told the nation that Medicare “all started with the man from Independence.

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Happy birthday, Medicare (and Medicaid)! It's about time for you to buy a fancy sports car and head to couples therapy!

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You can quibble about beginnings, middles and ends but what we're talking about is over a year ago.

Anthony Weiner, in response to a question from the NY Daily News: "There is no one you are sexting now?"

So, it's complicated?

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Evidence that the free market can fail: A six-foot tall Rick Perry flower planter is STILL available on eBay for the bargain price of $4,500.

C'mon, people, this is the deal of the century! Per Texas law, you can dump anything you want atop Planter Perry's head without those meddlesome enviro-crats from the EPA getting in the way, and if you can't be bothered to water it, no problem. Just pray for rain. 

(h/t @hotlineReid)

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Liberals around the world applauded Pope Francis for meeting the bare minimum standard of human decency on Monday by saying, when asked about the possibility of gay priests, ‘If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?’

Gawker’s Max Read with the best take on the news that Pope Francis appears to be willing to forgive gay priests. (via shortformblog)

Now the Pope is never gonna win a GOP primary.

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Pictured: historic summit between a Google Glass-wearing Newt Gingrich and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

Photos via Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images and @newtgingrich

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The moment that media frenzy around Anthony Weiner jumped the shark didn't occur when Weiner first crotch-shot his way to a congressional resignation.

And it didn't happen when Weiner joined the mayoral race and rose in the polls.

And it wasn't when Weiner admitted to sexting "maybe 3" ladies even after he resigned from Congress.

No. Mark it down, the moment Weiner-related journalism took a cyanide pill, shot itself in the face and forever beclowned itself was when a NY Post reporter (allegedly) dressed up like Zorro and demanded of Weiner, in a fake Spanish accent, "I am Carlos. Why’d you steal my name?"

This happened, people. It happened and it can't unhappen.

Photo by @pearlgabel

[newyorker]

Read about next week’s cover, “Carlos Danger” by John Cuneo, online now: http://nyr.kr/12p9PMc

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Pretty much!

[motherjones]

EXCLUSIVE: Inside Groundswell, the right-wing group where activists & journalists coordinate messaging 

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Favorite part:

 "We are failing the propaganda battle with minorities. Terms like, 'GOP,' 'Tea Party,' 'Conservative' communicate 'racism.'" The Groundswellers proposed an alternative: "Fredrick Douglas Republican," a phrase, the memo noted, that "changes minds." (His name is actually spelled "Frederick Douglass.")

Maybe the appeal to minorities was a feint, and they were trying to convince people who hate spelling.

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Six to ten, I suppose.

Anthony Weiner, on how many women he sexted to/with.

Playing "I'm thinking of a number one through ten" with Weiner must be infuriating.

[drawjosh]

Anthony Weiner campaign: call me. I’m available.

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He's gonna need this. A new poll from Marist has Weiner down to 16%, with Christine Quinn at 25% and Bill de Blasio tied with Bill Thompson at 14%.

Maybe a new focus on the economic fortunes of working New Yorkers is the way to go. Carlos Danger: Because It's Hard Out There.

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This is Joe Biden's "I'm a Vice President, not a scientist!" look.

Photo by Indranil Mukherjee/AFP/Getty Images News of Biden's visit to the Indian Institute of Technology in Mumbai.

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This has to be the strangest thing we learn today:

Potential assassins have threatened the life of Jimmy Carter multiple times since he left the White House in 1981, making the one-term Georgian the most threatened former president in history, according to a new book about John F. Kennedy and his assassination 50 years ago.

Jimmy Carter. Really? Some theories on his this might work:

Of all the former presidents who are still alive, Carter has been out of office the longest, so he's had the most time to offend people with his home building and pro-democracy campaigns.

He's History's Greatest Monster.

If you're going to do something awful and stupid like threaten a politician, you may as well go all the way and threaten our most harmless and forgotten living former president.

Either way, please stop threatening Jimmy Carter.

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When cable TV journalists run out of material on Anthony Weiner, their producers turn them to other topics. And a lot of soul searching ensues.

Photo via Jeremy Scahill

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After Anthony Weiner's press conference, in which he admitted to sending sexting even after his resignation from Congress, one question reigned above all others: how will New York's tabloid dailies handle this?

The grades:

Metro New York: "Danger Zone," is a rare win for Metro. Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone will now be the inescapable tune played in everyone's head as they watch the next Carlos Danger/Anthony Weiner press conference. A+

Daily News: A simple but effective pun. B.

Post: What? This is all you've you got? F. Seems that they themselves were embarrassed to take a mulligan this morning:

That's much better, NY Post.