I have so much to say... As someone who's being accompanying this series since almost the beginning, this feels like the type of chapter that made me fall deeply in love with this Manwa.
So if I stretch this too long, please bear with me!
Mo Guan Shan is my favorite character - and at lot of others in the fandom as well. To me, he incorporates what 19 Days was like on the beginning. Many people entered the series not knowing much about it; from a surface level, it wasn't even that appealing. We met Mo like we met the Manwa, with not many expectations. Like we were all He Tian and didn't think much of them. But, as the Tain himself, we all learned to love and worship this work.
Now, though? We've been seeing the gentleness, drive and hard work behind his actions. We see the kid who's grown up too fast and too violently. And this is mirrored in the series itself. The amount of dedication Old Xian puts into the comic is venerable! And seeing this character finally open up about his troubles is breathtaking!
He is, ultimately, a representation of what I think 19 Days thematic is about (and, interestingly enough, my favorite theme) witch is the Loss Of Youth. Is yet another "growing up" number, with a dark tone to emphasise it's message. But what's so unique about and what many others of it genre fail at, but they succeeded is the humanity.
Growing up stories with grotesque and edginess seem easy to make, yet they are far from that. But 19 Days doesn't commit the error of a lot of others do; this brutality isn't for show or a fake sense of "maturity"; it's to showcase what many fail to represent:
This seemly innocent phrase brings everything 19 Days is in a line! It's humanity.
Here we have a child who's been discredited his whole life, treated like a criminal from a young age and tortured in silence for years. A kid who's violent outbursts are a pushback from fear, allowing himself to show vulnerability once more, but finally voice every pain, every ache to someone he trusts.
Because he wouldn't have done it if he didn't trust He Tian.
I said that last chapter changed a perception of Tian we had before; that his possessiveness came from his entitled upbringing and abandonment issues, but Ox showed us it was not.
From not being able to protect who he loves the most. And now? Now we see that deconstruction on Mo, as well. All that aggression, the hesitancy on trust, the infamous pride, wasn't a rouse from low self-esteem.
Of not being believed by those who he loves and cherishes. And that's what all this edge and darkness are meant for. All this pain to show the loss of youth is to give and tie or empathy and understanding to the most basic an human emotions.
It is equally as perfect that they first oficial kiss was right now. After the humility of letting someone in to help, the braveness of showing vulnerability and the answer to most, if not all, bumps of life.
Growing up is scary. Doing it alone? That's even worse. So many novels go on and on without really allowing the characters the flaws and hurt that being human encompasses. That's what separates 19 Days from so many other works to me! The ability to put real troubles and let the people on the story feel feelings about them. No putting them on pedestals; making them untouchable; not giving them the consequences. I greatly appreciate Old Xian for that.
But above that, I love that Ox also gives the answer to the issue as it is. The solution to every Loss of Youth stories are the same. As humans, we need each other to live, and to grow, and go and beyond. We can't do it alone. It's why having such an important moment closed by tenderness, is just about the best measure.
Because living is fun! And is worth all that you go through.
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