Hello and welcome to myr blog. I am The Strange One, The Devouring Divine, It Who Suffers, or you may simply call me Cryptid, a nonhuman with many identities (that you may find beneath the cut).
I am a traumaendo system and alternate between me/I, we/us, and wi/mus first person pronouns. I am also disabled and neurodivergent, which informs how I interact.
genderqueer × he/she/it × lesbian
This is a sideblog so all interactions will come from @mintkissgirl.
a maned wolf who takes a morbid pleasure in complete solitude.
Making these moodboards for my shifts and kintypes has actually been helping me feel more connected to my nonhumanity! It's been making me really happy and euphoric :3
This feels.. niche to talk about within the alterhuman community but I've been feeling very connected to my life as a Dalish elf. In a way I haven't in years. It's strangely nostalgic. Getting flashbacks back to the same moment, over and over again.
I'm sitting on a rock next to the Silver Falls, my bow sitting next to me. The Breach still pulsates green in the sky and wind sings through the trees above me. I can hear demons screeching somewhere else in the Graves.
I've been noticing something... The older I get, the further away my alterhumanity feels. The more I acclimate to being "human".
I am a deity. I am a shapeshifter. I am a Not!Them and a wooden doll. I am a selkie and a fox. I am a not deer and a draconic. I am a song and so many concepts it hurts. I am a Watcher and I am a Dalish elf.
I am all of these things, both past and present, and identify with even more yet it feels almost out of reach. I really only feel connected with a type, a shape, when I interact with particular media or something I strongly associate with them.
I want to connect more with my alterhumanity, feel that same joy and freedom I used to feel, but I don't know how. The shackles of human adulthood weigh me down and I have precious little energy for much else.
I.. want to be home again. Feel my fur again. Feel my antlers upon my head again. Feel my wings wrap around me again. Smell the ocean air (despite being miles away) again.
I want to be able to remember. Remember chasing stars between lives with my mate. Remember The Emerald Graves and the crack in the sky. Remember the echoing expanses of flickering, yellow liminality. Remember chasing wind between trees.
How do y'all stay so connected to your alterhumanity? How do you retain your freedom and.. conform to the pressures of society? How do you do it?
Tonight was the first time i have ever truly and completely felt connected to my selkie side.
For the first time in years, my country was directly in the path of a total lunar eclipse, which isn’t particularly rare, but what does make it rare is the fact that the sky was actually clear, and we were able to see the whole thing.
i went down to the beach with my family and fiddled around with my phone trying to take an image (did not work unfortunately) before eventually giving up and just watching the eclipse right before totality. Because the moon was full, the tide nearby was at its peak and i could hear it crashing onto the rocks. I then had the sudden urge to go down and stand in the water, so naturally i ran across the grass and carefully climbed down the wet rocks and slipped a couple times before making it to the water and looking up at the moon.
because i’m part human and was raised in a human environment, i was never taught any real selkie songs. no melodies or words come to me naturally, but i knew that it didn’t really matter to the moon and sea what i sung, and so i sang some of my favourite songs that i hold a lot of sentiment towards. I started off quiet at first because it wasn’t something i did often, but then as the waves surged harder and the moon glowed orange i think it urged me to sing properly, and then i looked down and i saw bioluminescence.
i ran to get my family and brought them down to the water, and as the full moon shone red-orange above and the wind blew against my wet skin and my clothes became soaked and the cold water settled in my bones and the stars of the sea twinkled on my skin, i sang to the sea and i sang to the moon and i danced and danced until i felt sick and couldn’t dance anymore, and then i played with my siblings in the water and showed my mother how the washed up seagrass glowed when you shook it hard enough and for the first time ever, i think this is what it truly truly means to be a selkie. I’ve always wanted to perform in the full moon rites that my kind traditionally partake in to celebrate their existence and their creator, but i’d never really had the chance to until now.
There won’t be another blood moon like this until in two years time, and even then i doubt it’ll be the same, because tonight was so special and so incredibly meaningful to me that i doubt i’ll ever experience something like it again. These are the kinds of things that make me really believe that magic exists, and you just have to know how to find it.
tomorrow i will most likely be even sicker and i will be utterly and completely miserable, but it was all worth it for that half hour in the glittering water with the red moon above. I’ve finally started to truly connect with my selkie side, and i hope that i can do my own little rites every full moon.
I think the main reason for the low median age in the therian community is just that you have way too many immediate concerns to deal with when you're >25. So much is happening in/around our community right now that I want to be involved with, but unfortunately I have work, groceries, vet appointments, dishes, bank statements, laundry, old friends I need to schedule hangouts with, upcoming birthdays and family events, and the news that I need to keep up with. And after all that, I don't really have energy left over for heavy community discussions. If I don't wanna lose my mind, I need to spend my free time watching my shows, reading my books, and creating art.
