PELE ANJO

[centaurmeat]

I'm losing it and I can't help myself

[wonders-of-the-cosmos]

Pre-Winter Storm, Southwestern Australia in 2014

Credit: NASA/ISS

[centaurmeat]

Ecstasy on NYE

[centaurmeat]

Reflecting

I used to dilute my mind as a means of losing control from rigid structures, then I grew. My reason for dilution morphed into avoiding my problems, seeing as age dawned a new light on them, then I grew. Now my reason for dilution is to try and paint this concrete canvas, til the mediums overflow and I start the cycle again.

However, with wisdom comes responsibility, I know better than to pollute myself, but I unknowingly decided to put love into something so unattainable. Causing a familiar pain, that makes me want to crash the oceans into each other just to bring me closer.

[centaurmeat]

I wish I could hold onto something other than a feeling

[centaurmeat]

Unrefined

I want to fall into the deep dark blue, swimming in your eyes for a lifetime.

I want to want to live.

Once in every while, I feel my deadened seeds turn into the sun, wanting to grow.

Sometimes I feel like creating life with you. Sometimes I think it won't ever happen - but goddamn, I want it to.

[surrealism-love]

Tristan and Isolde, 1944, Salvador Dali

Medium: oil, canvas

[centaurmeat]

These epiphanies are relentless. I just want to sleep but my soul continues to crack down to the core, breaking out of its shell.

[centaurmeat]

Don't worry, I'm getting my punishment. When I lay there at night, my sins push through the subconscious wall into actuality, tearing my eyes open and stressing my heart.

[centaurmeat]

Out in the dark blue

[centaurmeat]

Tied myself up in tendons, dangling above a crocodiles nest; only existing to feed you, losing limbs while trying not to give all of myself away.

[centaurmeat]

Can't put my finger on it

But I know I want it

I'm willing to try another way

That is, if I get by another day

Back and forth, I don't get anywhere

And I've been searching everywhere

And I'll try tonight

Just try tonight

Happy as the moon shine

Sifting in the night-time

Clichés find a home inside of him

When he enters all of the lights go dim

He's so sure he got a tragic lifestyle

And I'm so sure I can make that man smile

And I'll try tonight

Just try tonight

A dark room in the night-time

Is how he spends all his time

If he could go on without your help

Then he would do it all by himself

But I don't think he got strength to muster

And he don't got a lot - lacklustre

He'll try tonight

To not get high

He'll try tonight

To not get high

But he will, he will, he will, yes he will

[centaurmeat]

Yo sometimes I yearn for my writing to be recognised, not only for others to feel understood, but more selfishly, for it to alliviate my own loneliness

[morbidology]

A disturbing screenshot from the CCTV footage showing the murder of Carl Williams, who was a central figure in the Melbourne gangland killings. Convicted of murder and drug trafficking, he was incarcerated at Barwon Prison. On 19 April, 2010, Williams was bludgeoned to death by Matthew Charles Johnson with part of an exercise bike.

[rosebudmouth-deactivated2016092]

[schwarzfee]

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Fantasia (1940) dir. by James Algar

[centaurmeat]

If I could express my longing for a different body, you'd understand the lack of trying. If I could start over again, you could see clearly the stars in my eyes, holding the thirst for life. If I could live without carrying around the ruins of broken buildings in my womb, I'd run freely throughout streets, forests, oceans. If I could be born again with a soul less shattered, I'd be twice the woman I already am.

Yet these scars tattooed on my skin will never fade, and your lost soul will forever float beneath my feet - I remain my only God.