𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂𝓿𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓪

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚૮꒰˵•ᵜ•˵꒱ა‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷ 𝓲𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵 𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆۶ৎ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

[ch3rryvnilla]

[ch3rryvnilla]

[ch3rryvnilla]

˚ ♡ ·˚ ₊˚𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓃˚₊ ˚· ♡ ˚

Seventeen feels like freedom, it changes your life in the most interesting ways, some beautiful, some devastating.

For me, this was exactly how it happened.

I started college, and my old friends separated into different classes. I was forced to adapt to an environment I didn't belong. It felt like the world was against me, which, maybe, it was.

I met a boy, one who I thought was the love of my life, one who lied, one who cheated, one who abused, one who assaulted. I was never the same after that.

I fell into a deep depression, I fell behind in college, lost contact with friends, and slowly lost myself to my mind. In reality, I shouldn't be writing this right now, but I am more than eternally grateful I am.

I was diagnosed with autism; some things made sense, but others didn't. Some opportunities I may never see again, but others helped me understand myself in ways I never had before.

I picked myself up, slowly, step by step. I caught up in college, started going out again, talking to my old friends. I was becoming me again. Some things took longer to heal than others, and some I could have never done on my own, but I did it. I was myself, only stronger and maybe a little wiser for the experience.

I met someone else, someone so sweet and kind. Someone who listened to each part of me and accepted me with open arms. Someone who is never afraid to hear no, never afraid to face everything with me. Someone who understands me.

Because in reality, life doesn't end when you're seventeen, and I'm more than glad it didn't.

[ch3rryvnilla]

˚ ♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁ˑ˚₊ ˚· ♡ ˚

I grew up hating femininity, I always wanted to be the strong one, the fast one, the smart one. I loved the colour blue and hated pink, because that was what I was taught. Anyone would took a second to look could see I was my father's daughter through and through. I never wanted to be seen as a 'girl', because in my head being a girl meant being weak, overlooked, inferior.

I hated being a girl

Now, I have had time to grow, experiences that shaped me, and there is not a single thing I would change. As I grew I was no longer my father's daughter, but I became my mother, with a little more will to fight back, he hates me for that. I now love the colour pink, I'd wear it everyday if i could. I love makeup and clothes, I have draws full of things I once swore never to own. And I love going out with my friends, laughing and dancing, embracing who we are. Everything that once made me feel small, is now what gives me the greatest joy.

I love being a girl.

I feel this is the journey every girl goes through as they become an adult, one of realisation and exploration. Being born a woman was never the tragedy I thought, but the gift to fight back. That weakness I was once so afraid of, that weakness bought me freedom.

[ch3rryvnilla]

˚ ♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓉ˑ˚₊ ˚· ♡ ˚

There is nothing quite as intimate as hearing another's heart. To lay your head on their chest and listen to that soft beat, the rest of the world stills. The little differences in the way it speeds up at gentle touch, or softens as sleep comes near. The gentle rhythm creates an unspoken language, something older than words, conveying what they could never explain. And within that rhythm, a certainty, a silent promise,  that throughout brightest days or the darkest nights, there is someone with you.

[ch3rryvnilla]

 ⁺‧₊˚ ୨୧ 𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒸𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒾𝒸 𝓂𝑒𝓁𝑜𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈 ୨୧ ˚₊‧⁺

The kind of longing that doesn't ache loudly, but settles quietly, making itself at home within your mind. A force you can no longer fight, because resisting feels more exhausting than surrender. However, it doesn't ask for much, just to be heard and to be felt.

[ch3rryvnilla]

 ⁺‧₊˚ ୨୧ 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑜𝒸𝒶𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 ୨୧ ˚₊‧⁺

When you're so hopelessly in love, it feels less like a feeling and more like an unstoppable force, drawing you in, overwhelming you. Where, no matter how far you wander, you will always find yourself circling back to the thought of them. Every melody, every word, every song drowns you in their presence until even silence hums their tune.