AS NAKED AS A TROUT

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

i got this v nice message from the chess org director of ops (technically my boss i guess)

yeah and work-wise [lack of deference] is definitely one of the things I appreciate about yourself - you just get on with it, and you're pretty proactive about finding improvements and solutions. You onboarded redacted and redacted without any real headaches or needing any help with it, and the emails area has quietly just become a very efficient and far more productive area than before we made you the coordinator

[abigail]

from yesterday with my mom

[pnglove]

© saweeeties

[cherrybeachbum]

🍰♡ ༘*.ﾟ

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

went to donate plasma and I couldn't BC my veins are too small. they told me to go to the gym or drink more. so fucked off honestly, like just Jesus fucking Christ let me sell my plasma!!! the place yesterday almost didn't let me make an appointment BC I've lived in the UK during mad cow disease but I said I'd lived mostly abroad in that time which is obviously true but it ended up taking about five hours and I didn't donate anything and had to make an appointment for next week. where presumably they'll be like oh no sorry your blood is too red or something else

I know I sound incredibly dramatic but the degree of stress I feel permanently is really really impacting on my ability to absorb minor setbacks and I am losing the fucking will to live!!!

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

relationship anxiety is literally such a fucking problem oh my god. im just so insanely hyper-attuned to every single difference in behaviour + i'm at this point i fear hard-wired to just go with the absolute worst interpretation

like, what's bothering me atm is his injury is much improved so he's running a lot more, up to like 100km a week (and he plans to run even more so lol). this is absolutely not a problem, like, thank GOD for that, bc he was miserable when he wasn't able to run much

so now he gets up earlier to go for an hour's run every morning, which has had a pretty bad effect on our nice morning sex routine and im taking this as a) he is not attracted to me anymore b) he doesnt like me anymore c) he is biding his time to break up with me

i actually brought it up last night in a chill way (#brave) and he agreed and said he was sorry - i said (truthfully) that it's fine and i wasn't angry or anything bc i am very relieved he's able to run more again, and he said he was still sorry. but then this morning we ALSO didnt have sex and im like ohhh my god he absolutely could not BRING himself to have sex with me DESPITE the conversation. having said that we didnt make an agreement to have sex this morning or whatever so

he just two days ago booked a 3 week holiday to accompany me to the UK in july but im still like nope this is Over and Done and i ahve to just wait for him to dump me. sad!

and like if i wasnt constantly looking for evidence of his declining interest in me and CONSTANTLY taking everything as a referendum on my worth i think it would be fine as well, like, the issue is that even if we had had sex this morning i would pretty much have just mentally ticked it off and give myself an extra few days of safety, rather than being like "this is a nice moment of intimacy" or whatever. bc im insane now. also like when i say a decline in sex i think the last time we had it was still within a week

im just so insane post-ben it's so pathetic lol like WHY have i become like this

[lilbowchic]

New margiela tabis

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

Is it that glp-1s actually help to stop the spread/developing of cancer on their own or is it that by losing weight, people are less likely to develop or have cancer spread because of the comorbitities that being overweight brings? I’m trying so hard not to get sucked back into the bad ED brain times but it is HARD

I'm not sure honestly, I have read some stuff that suggests being fat isn't one of the primary mechanisms behind cancer anyway but I have not read enough to claim much in either direction and certainly don't have any studies to hand. the guardian link (will post it but I'm on my phone) suggests losing weight and improving overall health (i obviously don't really appreciate the "and" instead of "or" there) may be a reason but it also suggests that glps lower inflammation more generally, which is obviously very different. everything feels very knotty and I don't really know what to think - the meds are obviously very new as well and I don't want to jump the gun on anything but the thought of no cancer is very compelling. I don't qualify for it I don't think BC I think your BMI has to be over 40 but I was considering asking my doctor what he thought anyway. very much not a doctor but idk the cancer angle I find just very hard to dismiss

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/jun/02/weight-loss-drugs-cut-cancer-risk-studies

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

idk if im wrong to be considering this but i am anyway. saw on the guardian they are thinking glp-1s may have a decent effect on both the development and spread of cancer, and given it is nearly certain i will develop cancer in my lifetime, this is actually breaking through my rule of "never consider glp-1s". like. ive gone into detail about my genetics before obviously but it's much easier to ignore like "THIS WILL MAKE YOU THIN!" and very hard to fully dismiss something like "this may make you less likely to develop the family curse"

[mypetufo]

i cant wait to get a boyfriend, im all prepared. i punched some holes in the lid of this jar and i put some grass and a twig in it

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

won my tournament game tonight. on 2/3 now

[lamignonette]

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

I can't believe I was planning on letting anon man see this blog at some point now im like thank GOD i dont have another relationship without a space space for me #mysafespace

[cheshmenoor]

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

just finished casual blitz tournament for women and girls 💪 babys first attempt at playing blitz in person. holy fuck it's rough!! 3 minutes on the clock each with 2 secs added on per move. it was a nice afternoon, I'll keep an eye out for other stuff like this

online it's really easy BC the clock is done for you but doing the in person clock pressing adds a lot of time

[chaaaaaaaaaaaam]

anon man just asked me what an SSRI is

[stlamb]

[thingsfromthedirt]