can we talk about how incestuous islam is?
not just the cousin marriage stuff bc thatâs a whole issue we kinda already know about.
iâm talking about how it encourages emotional incest between immediate family members.
i have a brother and a father. uncles, too, but the main issue are the two men i live with.
when you tell your sons their sisters are their responsibility. their sisters must be managed and controlled. their chastity is theirs to protect.
it creates an extremely unsafe environment.
i mentioned before how i donât exactly dress super modestly. i wear shorter dresses at my knees.
anyway, this is been a very very large issue in my household.
with my brother, specifically.
because to him, if he doesnât control me, he is a dayouth.
dayouth: Arabic term used in Islamic theology to describe a man who is permissive, apathetic, or lacks protective jealousy (ghayrah) regarding the unchaste behavior of his wife or female relatives.
aka men who allow their female family members to interact freely with men or post themselves online.
this is bad because âWe were made and placed on earth in pairs of male and female, and the trust and success of every pious community is the conservative preservation of this union and keeping away from anything that will break it down. One of the key attributes in preserving the marital bond of men and women is the presence of ghayra [jealousy].â
not to mention Quran 4:34 where it states men are the maintainers of women.
this concept is taught to male children beginning at birth and it follows them throughout their lives.
because of this, every interaction female and male siblings have with one another is sexualized. heâs constantly watching her in the manner other men would to ensure he is not a dayouth.
it creates incredibly harmful situations.
i remember when i was 14 and i was wearing a dress. it wasnât very short by any means. came just below my knees. i was going out to see my female friends. my brother tried to force me to change.
when i refused he got angry.
a type of anger that was frightening.
my own father hadnât reacted that way, but he had.
before i left, he called me rapebait.
he, to this day, says that what you wear is essentially asking for it. that he has no sympathy for women who get raped who arenât modest.
i donât hug him or go to his room. we donât sit near each other. i donât talk to him unless i have to. we have no relationship.
my one and only brother is a stranger.
he brings up constantly how my sins (and my other sisterâs) are a burden on his shoulder and itâs his job to keep me in check.
how cruel is it to raise our boys in such a manner?
brainwash them into becoming dictators over their sistersâ lives.
destroying the one relationship we are guaranteed in this live: sibling-hood.
my mother says i have to wear a bra in my house because my brother and dad live there.
she says i canât wear tank tops or shorts even in the blistering heat because i live amongst men.
but this religion created an immense divide between us all.
my father makes strange comments about my body. how my figure is nice and i have pretty legs and how men really like that.
my uncles say those things as well.
it makes me wildly uncomfortable, but i canât say anything.
my uncles (and aunts) create their own fantasies of me getting with multiple men at once without any proof that i do that (im literally aroace like what). they look at young girls and picture them in wildly sexual situations and believe this type of thought is normal.
i look at other families and feel so much jealousy. sisters with their brothers. being able to share secrets. being friends. even fighting with each other.
i have a prison guard for a brother.
the prophet said, âThree types of people will never enter Paradise; the dayyuth, the woman who resembles a man [in dress], and the one addicted to alcohol.â [Nasai, Ahmad].
iâm angry but i canât be too upset because i understand, in a weird way, why he is like this. why all the men around me are so horrible and disgusting around women.
because itâs being shoved down their throats.
the religion basically demands men to sexualize women. their mothers, sisters, daughters.
if they donât, theyâll burn in hell.
and look. the woman who resembles a man in dress will also never enter paradise.
if you donât make yourself attractive to straight men, youâll burn in hell.
if you dress freely, youâll burn in hell.
because one interpretation is that youâre being commanded to dress in a feminine way attractive to most men.
but another is that you mustnât strip yourself of the female modesty standards. you must keep the hijab on. to not wear it is to mimic men and that will send you to hell.
and the concept of a dayouth is so victim blamey.
you have controlling male relatives? well you better do what they say. you donât want them to suffer for your sins, do you?
itâs horrifying what muslims get away with indoctrinating their children with.
