sorry for literally vanishing for like almost two months? (γ οΉγ )
at some point i had so much going on and when i did remember I havenβt been on here then i like,, got nervous to log in for whatever reason ? :,) now i finally got myself together and here i am
still not sure how active iβll be or if i have time to write since i got into a new school and definitely want to focus on it ! also really happy that i finally have a chance to learn psychology !! :D but iβll try to post some stuff since iβm still very much into bsd and miss talking to lovely people here <33
so yeah i hope that kind of explains why i was inactive, iβm back now (γ Β΄ Λ `)
chuuya values evenings after work more than anything because no matter how late it is, youβre always at his apartment, the only person he wants to see after a long day of dealing with missions and paperwork.
most of the time youβre asleep by the time he comes but the other times youβre not. the thought of you greeting him with your tired smile and tender kisses already makes him yearn for you, even when his work day has barely started, which happens more times than he likes to admit.
the moment he can fall into your arms, its like the time itself pauses. he doesnβt have to think about anything else but you and your calmly beating heart. chuuya wouldnβt see himself be as content as he is without you. you somehow always know what he needs or wants when you get a good look at him, it still amazes him how effortlessly you see through him, showing him how much you care.
which also makes him feel a little guilty at times. you do so much for him while he half of time doesnβt get to do the same for you since he already is exhausted by the time he returns, sometimes too tired to shower you with the affection you deserve. and you know that. and youβre okay with that. chuuya believes he will never fully comprehend why you are so understanding while you clearly deserve more than that.
after meeting you chuuya canβt imagine spending a night without you. your existence has completely altered his brain chemistry and his body itself craves for you more than he realises.
home isnβt his apartment where he has spent countless nights at, rather itβs something he cherishes so much, something so valuable that it's barely comparable to anything else he has. he knows that his home will always be you.
sighhh this is so short but it's better than nothing i guess (,,>οΉ<,,)
synopsis. so what if he doesnβt care about his own birthday? you still wanted to make him feel special
content. gn!reader, fluff, idk the ending seems rushed sorry :(
notes. the silly doodle is drawn by me <3 and happy happy birthday to our sweet, adorable, charming dazai !!! mwah mwah ! βΈ(ο½‘Λ α΅ Λ )βΈβ‘
you have been mentally counting the days to his birthday.
dazai has told you about his birthday once and youβve told yourself to not forget it since. he doesnβt really care for it, thinking that thereβs little to no point celebrating his age growing by one, a mere reminder that heβs managed to live through yet another year. or so he told you and it makes you a little sad when you think about it. most people you have met get excited or at least look forward to their birthdays so seeing him be so indifferent about his own is unusual for you.
that doesnβt mean you were going to keep it that way. while you had nothing grand planned, you still wanted to surprise him and that in itself turned out to be a much more difficult task than you expected. dazai knows you really well and because of that you canβt afford to make even a single slip up.Β
now the hardest part was actually figuring out what to gift him. you didnβt want to get him just something random and expensive, you wanted it to have a meaning for him. you found the amount of time you spent thinking about it embarrassing because who doesnβt know what to give to their own boyfriend? but in the end you did get an idea. a simple but sweet idea. whenever dazai went on a longer mission or had to be somewhere, you used the chance to work on it and put it together. and of course afterwards making sure it was hidden well, under the bed behind many boxes to be exact.
getting a cake was trickier. at first you thought about making it yourself but then youβd have to make it a day before his birthday with no way of knowing if he was going to be away somewhere or not. so if he were to stay with you then making a cake without him noticing is near impossible. with that in mind you chose to buy one and that wasnβt easy either. to somehow get a cake in the fridge a day before without him suspecting anything? yeah you couldnβt have done it alone. thatβs when you decided to ask tanizaki for help.
you told him exactly which cake to get and when the time was right, you sent tanizaki a message, a sign that he could enter since you had intentionally left the front door unlocked for him. you were laying bed with dazai when he came in and you didnβt even hear him open or close the fridge. his ability was the plan b in case if dazai happened to suddenly go there. in the end everything went smoothly and you couldnβt feel more relieved. you made a mental note to yourself to pay him back for the cake later.
and before you know it, the day is here. you lazily rubbed your eyes as the rising sunlight woke you up. you slightly shift your body, turning your head a little to see the familiar chocolate brown hair and his face nuzzled against your back. his peaceful state always managed to bring a subtle smile to your lips. but that soon falls as you remember something and god you should have realised this earlier.
how are you going to get out of bed?
the ideal scenario would be that you slowly manage to escape his grasp, placing a pillow in your place and then you would have the chance to get everything ready and surprise him before he wakes up. except itβs dazai that weβre talking about. asleep or not, this man refuses to let go of you easily and only whines about how cold it is without your warmth. and most of the time it works because you canβt deny how comfortable it is to relax in his embrace and forget about the world around you for a moment.
but right now you actually wanted no, needed to get up. you sigh slightly as you think what to do. you know he is going to wake up, dazai has never been a heavy sleeper so moving out of bed would definitely alert him. which leaves you one last option that has to work. you carefully start to shift your body, trying to move his arm, which is wrapped around your waist, out of the way. you were close to sitting up before you could feel dazaiβs hold tighten around you, making your movements pause.
βwhere are you going..?β he mumbles against your skin, the sleep in his voice evident. i take a small breath and then respond. βto the bathroom, iβll be right back.β your voice is quiet as you let one of your hands brush through his hair. you silently prayed for him to let you since you really have no idea what else youβre going to do otherwise.
you have to hold in an exhale of relief when his hold loosens again, giving you the chance to sit up. a sleepy βokayβ is all he says in return and youβre almost surprised at how effortlessly you managed to leave. it could be because heβs still half asleep. all that matters now is the cake and the present. as quietly as possible, you take out your wrapped gift and the cake from the fridge. a rather small cake because you know that he doesnβt have a really big sweet tooth. you wanted to put candles on it too but now wonder how many. definitely not the age he is turning because they wouldnβt all fit. without thinking too hard you just put three as it looked nice like that.
you took out a lighter and within a few moments, all the candles were lit. all that is left now is to go and wish him a happy birthday the way he deserves. you carefully take the cake and the present, approaching the bedroom door as small nervousness starts to grow. what if he doesnβt like it? the last thing you want to do is to make his own day worse for him. thankfully you donβt get to dwell on your thoughts too long because you donβt want the candle wax dripping down on the cake.
when you enter the room, dazai is laying on his back, lazily rubbing his eyes before he turns to look at you. the immediate confused look in his eyes made you smile.
βhappy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear osamu, happy birthday to you!β you sing softly while slowly sitting down on the bed, placing the cake beside him. you noticed the way he is blinking and dumbfounded as if he couldnβt believe this was real at first. you expected that kind of reaction.
βwhat?β he speaks up after you sing, slowly sitting up. seeing dazai so off guard is rare, even to you. βcome on, blow out the candles!β you tell him with a chuckle. with some hesitation, he does as you say and your face beamed. you also decide to give him the present.
βi know you donβt really care about your birthday but i couldnβt let today just pass by either.β dazai seems like heβs speechless for a moment before focusing on you again.
βyou seriously didnβt need to do this.β his voice is soft yet you could sense a bit of disbelief in it as he sees the wrapped gift for him as well. βbut i wanted to and thereβs nothing you can do to stop me,β you say back with certainty, leaving no room for argument.
you then encouraged him to open the gift, your anticipation for his reaction growing. as he removes the wrapping, a small book is revealed and as soon as he opens it, a couple of pages filled with pictures of him and you can be seen. basically a photo album. while dazai flips through the pages you canβt help but notice his lack of reaction, only a small smile coating his lips.
does he not like it that much? you had hoped that he would at least point out a few photos or something but heβs completely quiet, which makes you even more anxious.
ββ¦is it okay? iβm going to be honest, for the longest time i wondered what to give you because i wanted it to be something special or meaningful to you. then i got this idea and thought itβs perfect, a photo album containing the memories of us. but if you donβt like it then i canββ your unsure rambling is cut off by dazai as he presses a tender kiss on your lips. and suddenly everything seems okay again.
βdonβt like it? my love, you have no idea how grateful i am for this,β he tells you, holding your face so that youβd see the sincerity in his gaze, ββ¦i donβt think anyone has ever properly celebrated my birthday, including myself so you just going out of your way to do this for me? i donβt deserve it.β his words push you to give him a light kiss, relishing in the soft surprised sound he lets out.
βyes you do, osamu. iβll make sure that today will be all about you.β you say to him with a sweet smile, warmth and fondness pooling in your eyes. you swear that for a brief moment you could hear dazaiβs breath falter. itβs clear as day that he is not used to this but you are determined to change that.
he looks like heβs about to argue back before eventually sighing in defeat, cuddling closer to you as he buries his face into the crook of your neck and you almost miss his quiet words spoken against your skin.Β
