titsay
cherry valley forever
oozey mess
Andulka
@theartofmadeline
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Love Begins
Three Goblin Art
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
roma★
Origami Around
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Kaledo Art
tannertan36
Cosmic Funnies
Product Placement
Claire Keane
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@chaiscafechaos
<Something small hits the windows causing Chai to jump. After a second or two, she goes to investigate. Stepping out the door and finding a lone bee plush, now lightly covered in dirt.>
<She picks up the bee and looks back inside before sticking her name tag to it and setting it on the counter, tossing her apron behind the counter before dashing back out.>
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*Mind squints looking at the slight disheveled look of this person.*
Well I certainly hope you're not planning to enter looking like that. Filthy.
*He said that word in a hush and cringed tone.*
Wait here.
*Mind closes the door and leaves the tea god waiting for a few minutes.*
*He comes back out with cloth and some bandages and cleaning supplies to boot; first aid and sanitation.*
Now hold still while I'll clean you off.
Yeah, apologies that certainly wasn't the intent.. Usually I clean up alot better.
<Matcha smiles sheepishly to Mind upon his return, straightening slightly, but holding still.>
How's he been..? From what you could gather at least..
Same Soul you would expect these days. That lunatic picks fights for the most random reasons.
So then, who are you to him? A friend of something?
*Mind is a tad rough when it comes to cleaning Matcha up. Pulling and prodding a tad too much for comfort but gets the job done. He finishes off his treatment with a spray down of sanitizer.*
Ok, you're fine now.
Dont cause trouble.
*And gestures the troublemaker tea god to come inside.*
Ahh, yeah sounds about right to mee.. Really shouldn't but eh--
Good friends though, yeah--
< Matcha felt their skin crawl with the touch but did their best to stay still letting Mind get it over with quickly. They shudder once he is done, squinting a little.>
Thank you-? Much appreciated, sir.. I won't cause trouble though.
<And with that they step inside, glancing back to Mind.>
Where--?
*Mind pulls out a seat from the dinner table.*
Sit. I'll get him.
*He walks over to Soul's room. A small amount of anxiety creeps up to the back of his mind as he gets closer. But why? It's illogical he thinks, and pushes the feeling away.*
*He knocks on @theegoisticqueer's door.*
Soul? You have a visitor.
{Soul comes to the door, opening it as he smooths down some bedhead. It does not look ready to start the day.}
Heyy Mind, good to see you. You look well today.
{A yawn.}
...A visitor? Who the hell?
Someone's come to see you. Some green fellow.
*Mind takes a glance at Soul's room. "What an absolute mess", Mind thought. He'll have to remind Soul on how to keep a tidy place.*
They are sitting at the kitchen table.
{Soul makes a truly impressive face of disgust and leans past Mind to try and get a glimpse of the rest of the house. He can't see the kitchen table from here, but he can hope.}
:( Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
{He grabs his jacket from his Clothes Chair™ and grabs the nearest comb to run through his hair once or twice.}
Mind, how are things with Heart...?
I think you know the awnser to that.
*Mind starts to walk back to the kitchen and just as he leaves the Hall, he starts to ask the newcomer:*
I never got your name.
< Matcha would look up, towards Mind. Without missing a beat they reply, >
Tencha, apologies I probably should have.. introduced myself.
< They rub the back of their neck. >
{Soul gets all of their things and steps outside, walking down to it. That voice...}
{Soul turns the corner and sees the offending figure. In a blink and with a scowl, the trident has materialized in hand.}
YOU.
Tencha, got it. You can-
*And before Mind could even finish that thought. He's struck with a familiar sense that something is about to go down. He turns his head to see Soul with a rage ready to fight god itself. In this sense, a god.*
Soul! What in the world are you doing? Put that thing away!
IT'S THE TEA FUCKER! WHO DOESN'T EVEN THINK HALF THE TEAS ARE TEAS. I ALREADY TAUGHT YOU A LESSON ONCE, CUNT, ARE YOU HERE FOR A ROUND TWO?
{Soul brandishes the trident!}
<Matcha would kinda sit there for a moment, smiling albeit nervously now. Knuckles turning white from their own grip. They were glaring rather pointedly at Soul. >
I mean you can keep stabbing, but I don't think this is gonna really settle. Our little dispute on what makes tea tea aside, I just wanted you to stop boiling Monster and calling it tea, dipshit. That's it.
Soul. As much as I would like you at add more variety into your drinking habits. I find it hard to believe boiling any kind of liquid is considered a tea.
Now could you please not use that in here. I've already seen one of your messes to clean. Don't make another.
{Squinting.....}
I don't handle kindly cunts coming here to fight. This guy's just returning.
{Soul turns to Matcha.}
I'm also not going to stop enjoying tea MY way, because harmony knows I need SOMETHING I enjoy. Its literally none of your business. You don't even live here. You're just an asshole! Leave people's fucking food choices alone, Jesus Christ, mate!
So, you gonna leave, or is it round two?
<Matcha squints over to Soul, half considering it. A smirk tugs at the corner of their mouth but they force a straight face.>
Well, I do beg to differ... Especially since my own bosses kind of demand tea standards be upheld. So I guess on that regard we shall continue to butt heads. I do not make the rules, you'd hafta talk higher up.
If you want to fight though, swing first. I just wanted to reach a better resolution.
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*Mind squints looking at the slight disheveled look of this person.*
Well I certainly hope you're not planning to enter looking like that. Filthy.
*He said that word in a hush and cringed tone.*
Wait here.
*Mind closes the door and leaves the tea god waiting for a few minutes.*
*He comes back out with cloth and some bandages and cleaning supplies to boot; first aid and sanitation.*
Now hold still while I'll clean you off.
Yeah, apologies that certainly wasn't the intent.. Usually I clean up alot better.
<Matcha smiles sheepishly to Mind upon his return, straightening slightly, but holding still.>
How's he been..? From what you could gather at least..
Same Soul you would expect these days. That lunatic picks fights for the most random reasons.
So then, who are you to him? A friend of something?
*Mind is a tad rough when it comes to cleaning Matcha up. Pulling and prodding a tad too much for comfort but gets the job done. He finishes off his treatment with a spray down of sanitizer.*
Ok, you're fine now.
Dont cause trouble.
*And gestures the troublemaker tea god to come inside.*
Ahh, yeah sounds about right to mee.. Really shouldn't but eh--
Good friends though, yeah--
< Matcha felt their skin crawl with the touch but did their best to stay still letting Mind get it over with quickly. They shudder once he is done, squinting a little.>
Thank you-? Much appreciated, sir.. I won't cause trouble though.
<And with that they step inside, glancing back to Mind.>
Where--?
*Mind pulls out a seat from the dinner table.*
Sit. I'll get him.
*He walks over to Soul's room. A small amount of anxiety creeps up to the back of his mind as he gets closer. But why? It's illogical he thinks, and pushes the feeling away.*
*He knocks on @theegoisticqueer's door.*
Soul? You have a visitor.
{Soul comes to the door, opening it as he smooths down some bedhead. It does not look ready to start the day.}
Heyy Mind, good to see you. You look well today.
{A yawn.}
...A visitor? Who the hell?
Someone's come to see you. Some green fellow.
*Mind takes a glance at Soul's room. "What an absolute mess", Mind thought. He'll have to remind Soul on how to keep a tidy place.*
They are sitting at the kitchen table.
{Soul makes a truly impressive face of disgust and leans past Mind to try and get a glimpse of the rest of the house. He can't see the kitchen table from here, but he can hope.}
:( Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
{He grabs his jacket from his Clothes Chair™ and grabs the nearest comb to run through his hair once or twice.}
Mind, how are things with Heart...?
I think you know the awnser to that.
*Mind starts to walk back to the kitchen and just as he leaves the Hall, he starts to ask the newcomer:*
I never got your name.
< Matcha would look up, towards Mind. Without missing a beat they reply, >
Tencha, apologies I probably should have.. introduced myself.
< They rub the back of their neck. >
{Soul gets all of their things and steps outside, walking down to it. That voice...}
{Soul turns the corner and sees the offending figure. In a blink and with a scowl, the trident has materialized in hand.}
YOU.
Tencha, got it. You can-
*And before Mind could even finish that thought. He's struck with a familiar sense that something is about to go down. He turns his head to see Soul with a rage ready to fight god itself. In this sense, a god.*
Soul! What in the world are you doing? Put that thing away!
IT'S THE TEA FUCKER! WHO DOESN'T EVEN THINK HALF THE TEAS ARE TEAS. I ALREADY TAUGHT YOU A LESSON ONCE, CUNT, ARE YOU HERE FOR A ROUND TWO?
{Soul brandishes the trident!}
<Matcha would kinda sit there for a moment, smiling albeit nervously now. Knuckles turning white from their own grip. They were glaring rather pointedly at Soul. >
I mean you can keep stabbing, but I don't think this is gonna really settle. Our little dispute on what makes tea tea aside, I just wanted you to stop boiling Monster and calling it tea, dipshit. That's it.
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*Mind squints looking at the slight disheveled look of this person.*
Well I certainly hope you're not planning to enter looking like that. Filthy.
*He said that word in a hush and cringed tone.*
Wait here.
*Mind closes the door and leaves the tea god waiting for a few minutes.*
*He comes back out with cloth and some bandages and cleaning supplies to boot; first aid and sanitation.*
Now hold still while I'll clean you off.
Yeah, apologies that certainly wasn't the intent.. Usually I clean up alot better.
<Matcha smiles sheepishly to Mind upon his return, straightening slightly, but holding still.>
How's he been..? From what you could gather at least..
Same Soul you would expect these days. That lunatic picks fights for the most random reasons.
So then, who are you to him? A friend of something?
*Mind is a tad rough when it comes to cleaning Matcha up. Pulling and prodding a tad too much for comfort but gets the job done. He finishes off his treatment with a spray down of sanitizer.*
Ok, you're fine now.
Dont cause trouble.
*And gestures the troublemaker tea god to come inside.*
Ahh, yeah sounds about right to mee.. Really shouldn't but eh--
Good friends though, yeah--
< Matcha felt their skin crawl with the touch but did their best to stay still letting Mind get it over with quickly. They shudder once he is done, squinting a little.>
Thank you-? Much appreciated, sir.. I won't cause trouble though.
<And with that they step inside, glancing back to Mind.>
Where--?
*Mind pulls out a seat from the dinner table.*
Sit. I'll get him.
*He walks over to Soul's room. A small amount of anxiety creeps up to the back of his mind as he gets closer. But why? It's illogical he thinks, and pushes the feeling away.*
*He knocks on @theegoisticqueer's door.*
Soul? You have a visitor.
{Soul comes to the door, opening it as he smooths down some bedhead. It does not look ready to start the day.}
Heyy Mind, good to see you. You look well today.
{A yawn.}
...A visitor? Who the hell?
Someone's come to see you. Some green fellow.
*Mind takes a glance at Soul's room. "What an absolute mess", Mind thought. He'll have to remind Soul on how to keep a tidy place.*
They are sitting at the kitchen table.
{Soul makes a truly impressive face of disgust and leans past Mind to try and get a glimpse of the rest of the house. He can't see the kitchen table from here, but he can hope.}
:( Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
{He grabs his jacket from his Clothes Chair™ and grabs the nearest comb to run through his hair once or twice.}
Mind, how are things with Heart...?
I think you know the awnser to that.
*Mind starts to walk back to the kitchen and just as he leaves the Hall, he starts to ask the newcomer:*
I never got your name.
< Matcha would look up, towards Mind. Without missing a beat they reply, >
Tencha, apologies I probably should have.. introduced myself.
< They rub the back of their neck. >
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*Mind squints looking at the slight disheveled look of this person.*
Well I certainly hope you're not planning to enter looking like that. Filthy.
*He said that word in a hush and cringed tone.*
Wait here.
*Mind closes the door and leaves the tea god waiting for a few minutes.*
*He comes back out with cloth and some bandages and cleaning supplies to boot; first aid and sanitation.*
Now hold still while I'll clean you off.
Yeah, apologies that certainly wasn't the intent.. Usually I clean up alot better.
<Matcha smiles sheepishly to Mind upon his return, straightening slightly, but holding still.>
How's he been..? From what you could gather at least..
Same Soul you would expect these days. That lunatic picks fights for the most random reasons.
So then, who are you to him? A friend of something?
*Mind is a tad rough when it comes to cleaning Matcha up. Pulling and prodding a tad too much for comfort but gets the job done. He finishes off his treatment with a spray down of sanitizer.*
Ok, you're fine now.
Dont cause trouble.
*And gestures the troublemaker tea god to come inside.*
Ahh, yeah sounds about right to mee.. Really shouldn't but eh--
Good friends though, yeah--
< Matcha felt their skin crawl with the touch but did their best to stay still letting Mind get it over with quickly. They shudder once he is done, squinting a little.>
Thank you-? Much appreciated, sir.. I won't cause trouble though.
<And with that they step inside, glancing back to Mind.>
Where--?
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*Mind squints looking at the slight disheveled look of this person.*
Well I certainly hope you're not planning to enter looking like that. Filthy.
*He said that word in a hush and cringed tone.*
Wait here.
*Mind closes the door and leaves the tea god waiting for a few minutes.*
*He comes back out with cloth and some bandages and cleaning supplies to boot; first aid and sanitation.*
Now hold still while I'll clean you off.
Yeah, apologies that certainly wasn't the intent.. Usually I clean up alot better.
<Matcha smiles sheepishly to Mind upon his return, straightening slightly, but holding still.>
How's he been..? From what you could gather at least..
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
*Mind looks at this person up and down for a moment.*
For what purpose? I can take a message.
*Preparing spray in hand, behind the front door he is holding open at the moment.*
Just-- wanted... To make sure they were okay?
< It would rub the back of its neck, glancing to the side. >
*spitball*
< It moves outta the way, spitball sticking to the doorframe. >
dude
Dude yourself.
< God fucking dammit. >
< There is a very polite knock at the front door. >
*Even though Soul usually awnsers the door. After hearing what Soul has been up to, he doubts they would be very eager to awnser the door.*
*Reluctantly, Mind gets up to awnser the door after he arms himself with a sanitation spray can.*
< Outside stands the green barista, hands clasped together. They look slightly surprised to see Mind rather. They kinda just look at him. >
Uh. Hi.. would Soul happen to be here?
< You have a hole in your roof now and someone and tea seemingly has been spilled on your carpet. >
< It also smells of tea. >
[Coffee looks up from his phone.]
HOLY FUCK
[He starts trying to find what the hell fell and assess the damage. How the hell would anyone get a construction team in to fix this!?]
< Whatever it was that fell through is gone, stolem just about. >
< Maybe angry bitching downstairs before the front door slams shut. >
< ...We will pay you back. I promise, Coffee Choc Guy. >
<Vibrating with the rage of a thousand suns.>
One second.
-🍵
Whatever you say.
<Somehow a can of Monster Green Tea.... Only it is full of set concrete is hurled at Soul.>
tHAt Is TEA.
{Soul catches it, and nearly falls over with the unexpected weight.}
What the hell. Yeah, of course its tea.
{Soul tries to bite it. Doesn't really succeed.}
YES. However, here is the thing. That actually had a shred of tea in it, you cannot just heat something up and call that tea. It's just not right.
I should smite you for even flirting with the idea of putting something like pen ink in it. What is wrong with you?!
Plenty of things contain leaves at some point.
{Soul prepares to dodge.}
Nothing's wrong with me. Do you not crave new experiences? Put some pen ink in your tea.
That doesn't make it tea though! It has to have tea leaves specifically, thats what makes it tea. The Monsters with tea in it, I can understand, but just plain monster energy?? Would you drink autumn gutter water and call it tea?
Pen ink is NOT something you put in tea.
{Direct eye contact!}
Yeah, I'd call gutter water tea. Sounds right.
Alright.
<They swing at Soul.>
{A swift dodge. The trident appears.}
U mad, bro?
{Slash!}
<Matcha moves quickly to block the slash with their forearm with some damage, just before kicking their feet out from under them.*
YES
{He throws the canned concrete at Matcha's stomach, not aiming much, to free his hand, and catches himself on the wall of the house.}
{It stabs the ground with the trident, keeping itself upright even when its feet go down. It gets its balance back and pulls the trident out.}
Must be boring, only ever doing things the same. #sucksforyou
{Soul stays out of range, trident brandished, waiting for Matcha to make a sloppy move.}
<Matcha is hit, staggering back a step with gritted teeth. Her hands grab the can, eyeing Soul looking for an opening.>
You'd be surprised, quite frankly.
<They don't act just yet, turning the can over in one hand while adjusting their stance.>
I at least don't drink from puddles on the street.
<They move forwards slightly, closing in some distance.>
{Soul takes a step back; tridents are long range. A smile begins to inch onto their face. This is the most fun he's had in a while.}
I thought you liked the tea? Drink some puddle water. Pretty sure it's your family. Bacteria and tea
<Its face would flush and their brow would furrow.>
That's not tea. That's just puddle water, you--!
<They would lunge forth, grabbing the trident and pushing it aside to try and punch him.>
Ha, its tea, it even has lea--
{Slam!}
{Soul recoils from the punch, looking back at Matcha with fire in his eyes. Blood drips from a split lip.}
You bastard!
{The trident gets hotter, soon to burn if Matcha keeps touching it, and Soul lunges for Matcha, attempting to yank the trident away to then spear Matcha's shirt collar with the trident and slam them into a wall.}
<Matcha's hand grips the trident tighter, palm turning green as it starts to burn. The moment they felt the slightest tug they would shove the trident back into Soul as they stumble back. >
Takes one to know one, eh?
<Trying to recover they would grin a little, making to dodge just as Soul would spear their collar sending them back into the wall. A small splotch of green staining their collar.>
Shit--!
{Soul stays broad as Matcha regains her bearings, grinning like the Cheshire cat, watching and waiting for the next move. Their eyes flicker the green blood where they clipped him.}
{Soul decides to be annoying, and books it, hopping out a window and running outside. It stares at Matcha, making the "come here" sign with a hand.}
<She would take a second to regain her breath, watching as Soul flings himself out the window. Matcha grumbles under her breath and makes chase hardly caring for much else. They would launch themselves out the same window, landing on their feet with a hard thunk.>
<They hardly wait to regain their balance, swinging for Soul once again.>
{Matcha is obvious and sloppy going for that unbalanced swing. It's an easy dodge. Soul moves behind Matcha and shoves him forward with the blunt end of the trident.}
Hey tea fucker, do you know what plants are in Monster?
{They keep the trident angled towards Matcha's face, ready to strike.}
<Matcha would yelp, toppling to their knees but quickly turning so that they could see it. They glare up, then eye the trident.>
Not enough to constitute the label tea, if that is still what you're trying to get at.
<He leans forth from his sitting position on the ground, moving a hand to their apron pocket. She smiles up to Soul, albeit bitterly and grabs the trident to push it to the side just enough so it was away from her face.>
Do go on though, make whatever point you're trying to. You're still going to be wrong though.
{Sprouts creep up from the ground, growing rapidly. Matcha feels like he's being watched.}
Do you like guarana?
{Soul shakes Matcha off the trident, and keeps it aimed, just another foot away now.}
{The plants bloom, fruits, and ripens into eyeballs rapidly. Bright red eyelids and beady black eyes. Bits of ginseng grow on the ground. The eyeball climbing plant grows onto Matcha too. Up, up, up her legs, scrambling for purchase.}
IS THAT NOT TEA??!!!?!?!?
<They would watch the plants, hand gripping around a knife in their pocket. Whipping it out they click the blade open, cutting the vines that latch onto them. Matcha looks back to Soul, getting up.>
Would you LIKE to get technical?! Cuz the answer is NO!
<They step toward Soul, gripping the knife tight enough their knuckles turn white.>
It's an herbal infusion, real tea uses specific tea leaves!
What are you, an idiot? AN HERBAL INFUSION? That's fucking tea! AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY TEA EVEN TO AN IMBECILE!
{Soul slams the flat edge of the trident into their hands to knock the knife away and advances, having half a mind to throw the trident away to just start wrestling.}
It's fucking tea!!!!
NO ITS NOT FUCKING TEA, ITS NOT EVEN REAL TEA!
*The knife falls from their hand, hitting the ground. Matcha would lunge forth this time, grabbing for the trident to try and wrench it from Soul's hands.*
ANYONE should know that, REAL TEA COMES FROM A SPECIFIC PLANT, YOU YEE YEE HAIRCUT LOOKIN ASS!
AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY FUCKING TEA!!!
{Soul was originally planning to throw it aside, but now that Matcha wants it, no can do.}
YEE YEE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, 5? HEADASS. WANNA SEE A YEE YEE HAIRCUT? LET ME GET YOUR KNIFE AND I'LL SHOW YOU A YEE YEE HAIRCUT!
{Soul doesn't let go, trying to wrestle it back.}
DOES IT COME FROM THE CAMELLIA SINENSIS PLANT? DIDNT FUCKIN THINK SO!
<Matcha does their best to keep hands on the trident, wrestling with it. Ultimately though she loses, brow furrowing and making to grab it again.>
I AM JUST SAYING HOW IT IS ANYWAY AND IF YOU EVEN DARE TOUCH MY HAIR I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!
{Soul tries to kick Matcha down so it can sit on top of them.}
I GO TO THE STORE. I PICK UP BOX. IT SAYS "HERBAL TEA." IT'S FUCKING TEA YOU DUMBASS!!! EVERYONE AT THE STORE SAYS ITS TEA
{Soul ponders ways to launch Matcha into the stratosphere and tries to get the knife with its foot.}
<Matcha doesn't go down the first time rather it shoves forth into Soul when he does try and kick them.>
IT'S NOT FUCKING TEA, IT'S FAKE TEA, IT'S NOT MADE UP OF TEA LEAVES, THEREFORE NOT FUCKING TEA!! THERE IS NOTHING IN HERBAL TEA THAT REAL TEA HAS!
<Matcha eyes the knife and shoves Soul just a bit more this time.>
THEN WHY IS IT CALLED TEA AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!!
{Soul shoves back again. Is this going to be a catfight?}
<Matcha takes a step back and pushes forth again, this time following up with a punch to the lower jaw before stepping on his foot, pressing on its ankle.>
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID??
{Soul yelps.}
FUCKER!
{Soul shoves back. He cradles his jaw with a hand.}
Okay, I've had it with you! Take this!
{Soul summons the rock from the earth into a vaguely hand-shaped pillar, Edward Elric style, pulling it through the earth to slam into Matcha and rocket them into the sky. Has to be at least 90 feet up...}
GOODBYE, FOOL.
<Matcha gets launched, screaming obscenities at Soul but soon enough disappears into the sky above. >
<...And then the sounds of property damage could be heard in the distance. Great. >
<Vibrating with the rage of a thousand suns.>
One second.
-🍵
Whatever you say.
<Somehow a can of Monster Green Tea.... Only it is full of set concrete is hurled at Soul.>
tHAt Is TEA.
{Soul catches it, and nearly falls over with the unexpected weight.}
What the hell. Yeah, of course its tea.
{Soul tries to bite it. Doesn't really succeed.}
YES. However, here is the thing. That actually had a shred of tea in it, you cannot just heat something up and call that tea. It's just not right.
I should smite you for even flirting with the idea of putting something like pen ink in it. What is wrong with you?!
Plenty of things contain leaves at some point.
{Soul prepares to dodge.}
Nothing's wrong with me. Do you not crave new experiences? Put some pen ink in your tea.
That doesn't make it tea though! It has to have tea leaves specifically, thats what makes it tea. The Monsters with tea in it, I can understand, but just plain monster energy?? Would you drink autumn gutter water and call it tea?
Pen ink is NOT something you put in tea.
{Direct eye contact!}
Yeah, I'd call gutter water tea. Sounds right.
Alright.
<They swing at Soul.>
{A swift dodge. The trident appears.}
U mad, bro?
{Slash!}
<Matcha moves quickly to block the slash with their forearm with some damage, just before kicking their feet out from under them.*
YES
{He throws the canned concrete at Matcha's stomach, not aiming much, to free his hand, and catches himself on the wall of the house.}
{It stabs the ground with the trident, keeping itself upright even when its feet go down. It gets its balance back and pulls the trident out.}
Must be boring, only ever doing things the same. #sucksforyou
{Soul stays out of range, trident brandished, waiting for Matcha to make a sloppy move.}
<Matcha is hit, staggering back a step with gritted teeth. Her hands grab the can, eyeing Soul looking for an opening.>
You'd be surprised, quite frankly.
<They don't act just yet, turning the can over in one hand while adjusting their stance.>
I at least don't drink from puddles on the street.
<They move forwards slightly, closing in some distance.>
{Soul takes a step back; tridents are long range. A smile begins to inch onto their face. This is the most fun he's had in a while.}
I thought you liked the tea? Drink some puddle water. Pretty sure it's your family. Bacteria and tea
<Its face would flush and their brow would furrow.>
That's not tea. That's just puddle water, you--!
<They would lunge forth, grabbing the trident and pushing it aside to try and punch him.>
Ha, its tea, it even has lea--
{Slam!}
{Soul recoils from the punch, looking back at Matcha with fire in his eyes. Blood drips from a split lip.}
You bastard!
{The trident gets hotter, soon to burn if Matcha keeps touching it, and Soul lunges for Matcha, attempting to yank the trident away to then spear Matcha's shirt collar with the trident and slam them into a wall.}
<Matcha's hand grips the trident tighter, palm turning green as it starts to burn. The moment they felt the slightest tug they would shove the trident back into Soul as they stumble back. >
Takes one to know one, eh?
<Trying to recover they would grin a little, making to dodge just as Soul would spear their collar sending them back into the wall. A small splotch of green staining their collar.>
Shit--!
{Soul stays broad as Matcha regains her bearings, grinning like the Cheshire cat, watching and waiting for the next move. Their eyes flicker the green blood where they clipped him.}
{Soul decides to be annoying, and books it, hopping out a window and running outside. It stares at Matcha, making the "come here" sign with a hand.}
<She would take a second to regain her breath, watching as Soul flings himself out the window. Matcha grumbles under her breath and makes chase hardly caring for much else. They would launch themselves out the same window, landing on their feet with a hard thunk.>
<They hardly wait to regain their balance, swinging for Soul once again.>
{Matcha is obvious and sloppy going for that unbalanced swing. It's an easy dodge. Soul moves behind Matcha and shoves him forward with the blunt end of the trident.}
Hey tea fucker, do you know what plants are in Monster?
{They keep the trident angled towards Matcha's face, ready to strike.}
<Matcha would yelp, toppling to their knees but quickly turning so that they could see it. They glare up, then eye the trident.>
Not enough to constitute the label tea, if that is still what you're trying to get at.
<He leans forth from his sitting position on the ground, moving a hand to their apron pocket. She smiles up to Soul, albeit bitterly and grabs the trident to push it to the side just enough so it was away from her face.>
Do go on though, make whatever point you're trying to. You're still going to be wrong though.
{Sprouts creep up from the ground, growing rapidly. Matcha feels like he's being watched.}
Do you like guarana?
{Soul shakes Matcha off the trident, and keeps it aimed, just another foot away now.}
{The plants bloom, fruits, and ripens into eyeballs rapidly. Bright red eyelids and beady black eyes. Bits of ginseng grow on the ground. The eyeball climbing plant grows onto Matcha too. Up, up, up her legs, scrambling for purchase.}
IS THAT NOT TEA??!!!?!?!?
<They would watch the plants, hand gripping around a knife in their pocket. Whipping it out they click the blade open, cutting the vines that latch onto them. Matcha looks back to Soul, getting up.>
Would you LIKE to get technical?! Cuz the answer is NO!
<They step toward Soul, gripping the knife tight enough their knuckles turn white.>
It's an herbal infusion, real tea uses specific tea leaves!
What are you, an idiot? AN HERBAL INFUSION? That's fucking tea! AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY TEA EVEN TO AN IMBECILE!
{Soul slams the flat edge of the trident into their hands to knock the knife away and advances, having half a mind to throw the trident away to just start wrestling.}
It's fucking tea!!!!
NO ITS NOT FUCKING TEA, ITS NOT EVEN REAL TEA!
*The knife falls from their hand, hitting the ground. Matcha would lunge forth this time, grabbing for the trident to try and wrench it from Soul's hands.*
ANYONE should know that, REAL TEA COMES FROM A SPECIFIC PLANT, YOU YEE YEE HAIRCUT LOOKIN ASS!
AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY FUCKING TEA!!!
{Soul was originally planning to throw it aside, but now that Matcha wants it, no can do.}
YEE YEE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, 5? HEADASS. WANNA SEE A YEE YEE HAIRCUT? LET ME GET YOUR KNIFE AND I'LL SHOW YOU A YEE YEE HAIRCUT!
{Soul doesn't let go, trying to wrestle it back.}
DOES IT COME FROM THE CAMELLIA SINENSIS PLANT? DIDNT FUCKIN THINK SO!
<Matcha does their best to keep hands on the trident, wrestling with it. Ultimately though she loses, brow furrowing and making to grab it again.>
I AM JUST SAYING HOW IT IS ANYWAY AND IF YOU EVEN DARE TOUCH MY HAIR I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!
{Soul tries to kick Matcha down so it can sit on top of them.}
I GO TO THE STORE. I PICK UP BOX. IT SAYS "HERBAL TEA." IT'S FUCKING TEA YOU DUMBASS!!! EVERYONE AT THE STORE SAYS ITS TEA
{Soul ponders ways to launch Matcha into the stratosphere and tries to get the knife with its foot.}
<Matcha doesn't go down the first time rather it shoves forth into Soul when he does try and kick them.>
IT'S NOT FUCKING TEA, IT'S FAKE TEA, IT'S NOT MADE UP OF TEA LEAVES, THEREFORE NOT FUCKING TEA!! THERE IS NOTHING IN HERBAL TEA THAT REAL TEA HAS!
<Matcha eyes the knife and shoves Soul just a bit more this time.>
THEN WHY IS IT CALLED TEA AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!!
{Soul shoves back again. Is this going to be a catfight?}
<Matcha takes a step back and pushes forth again, this time following up with a punch to the lower jaw before stepping on his foot, pressing on its ankle.>
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID??
happy HALLOWEEN
*power hose spray!!*
Wh— FA— YOU FUCK!
<Matcha is effectively soaked, bangs sticking to their face, scowling. She kind of looks like one of those persian cats when they're wet actually.>
<Vibrating with the rage of a thousand suns.>
One second.
-🍵
Whatever you say.
<Somehow a can of Monster Green Tea.... Only it is full of set concrete is hurled at Soul.>
tHAt Is TEA.
{Soul catches it, and nearly falls over with the unexpected weight.}
What the hell. Yeah, of course its tea.
{Soul tries to bite it. Doesn't really succeed.}
YES. However, here is the thing. That actually had a shred of tea in it, you cannot just heat something up and call that tea. It's just not right.
I should smite you for even flirting with the idea of putting something like pen ink in it. What is wrong with you?!
Plenty of things contain leaves at some point.
{Soul prepares to dodge.}
Nothing's wrong with me. Do you not crave new experiences? Put some pen ink in your tea.
That doesn't make it tea though! It has to have tea leaves specifically, thats what makes it tea. The Monsters with tea in it, I can understand, but just plain monster energy?? Would you drink autumn gutter water and call it tea?
Pen ink is NOT something you put in tea.
{Direct eye contact!}
Yeah, I'd call gutter water tea. Sounds right.
Alright.
<They swing at Soul.>
{A swift dodge. The trident appears.}
U mad, bro?
{Slash!}
<Matcha moves quickly to block the slash with their forearm with some damage, just before kicking their feet out from under them.*
YES
{He throws the canned concrete at Matcha's stomach, not aiming much, to free his hand, and catches himself on the wall of the house.}
{It stabs the ground with the trident, keeping itself upright even when its feet go down. It gets its balance back and pulls the trident out.}
Must be boring, only ever doing things the same. #sucksforyou
{Soul stays out of range, trident brandished, waiting for Matcha to make a sloppy move.}
<Matcha is hit, staggering back a step with gritted teeth. Her hands grab the can, eyeing Soul looking for an opening.>
You'd be surprised, quite frankly.
<They don't act just yet, turning the can over in one hand while adjusting their stance.>
I at least don't drink from puddles on the street.
<They move forwards slightly, closing in some distance.>
{Soul takes a step back; tridents are long range. A smile begins to inch onto their face. This is the most fun he's had in a while.}
I thought you liked the tea? Drink some puddle water. Pretty sure it's your family. Bacteria and tea
<Its face would flush and their brow would furrow.>
That's not tea. That's just puddle water, you--!
<They would lunge forth, grabbing the trident and pushing it aside to try and punch him.>
Ha, its tea, it even has lea--
{Slam!}
{Soul recoils from the punch, looking back at Matcha with fire in his eyes. Blood drips from a split lip.}
You bastard!
{The trident gets hotter, soon to burn if Matcha keeps touching it, and Soul lunges for Matcha, attempting to yank the trident away to then spear Matcha's shirt collar with the trident and slam them into a wall.}
<Matcha's hand grips the trident tighter, palm turning green as it starts to burn. The moment they felt the slightest tug they would shove the trident back into Soul as they stumble back. >
Takes one to know one, eh?
<Trying to recover they would grin a little, making to dodge just as Soul would spear their collar sending them back into the wall. A small splotch of green staining their collar.>
Shit--!
{Soul stays broad as Matcha regains her bearings, grinning like the Cheshire cat, watching and waiting for the next move. Their eyes flicker the green blood where they clipped him.}
{Soul decides to be annoying, and books it, hopping out a window and running outside. It stares at Matcha, making the "come here" sign with a hand.}
<She would take a second to regain her breath, watching as Soul flings himself out the window. Matcha grumbles under her breath and makes chase hardly caring for much else. They would launch themselves out the same window, landing on their feet with a hard thunk.>
<They hardly wait to regain their balance, swinging for Soul once again.>
{Matcha is obvious and sloppy going for that unbalanced swing. It's an easy dodge. Soul moves behind Matcha and shoves him forward with the blunt end of the trident.}
Hey tea fucker, do you know what plants are in Monster?
{They keep the trident angled towards Matcha's face, ready to strike.}
<Matcha would yelp, toppling to their knees but quickly turning so that they could see it. They glare up, then eye the trident.>
Not enough to constitute the label tea, if that is still what you're trying to get at.
<He leans forth from his sitting position on the ground, moving a hand to their apron pocket. She smiles up to Soul, albeit bitterly and grabs the trident to push it to the side just enough so it was away from her face.>
Do go on though, make whatever point you're trying to. You're still going to be wrong though.
{Sprouts creep up from the ground, growing rapidly. Matcha feels like he's being watched.}
Do you like guarana?
{Soul shakes Matcha off the trident, and keeps it aimed, just another foot away now.}
{The plants bloom, fruits, and ripens into eyeballs rapidly. Bright red eyelids and beady black eyes. Bits of ginseng grow on the ground. The eyeball climbing plant grows onto Matcha too. Up, up, up her legs, scrambling for purchase.}
IS THAT NOT TEA??!!!?!?!?
<They would watch the plants, hand gripping around a knife in their pocket. Whipping it out they click the blade open, cutting the vines that latch onto them. Matcha looks back to Soul, getting up.>
Would you LIKE to get technical?! Cuz the answer is NO!
<They step toward Soul, gripping the knife tight enough their knuckles turn white.>
It's an herbal infusion, real tea uses specific tea leaves!
What are you, an idiot? AN HERBAL INFUSION? That's fucking tea! AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY TEA EVEN TO AN IMBECILE!
{Soul slams the flat edge of the trident into their hands to knock the knife away and advances, having half a mind to throw the trident away to just start wrestling.}
It's fucking tea!!!!
NO ITS NOT FUCKING TEA, ITS NOT EVEN REAL TEA!
*The knife falls from their hand, hitting the ground. Matcha would lunge forth this time, grabbing for the trident to try and wrench it from Soul's hands.*
ANYONE should know that, REAL TEA COMES FROM A SPECIFIC PLANT, YOU YEE YEE HAIRCUT LOOKIN ASS!
AN HERBAL INFUSION IS OBVIOUSLY FUCKING TEA!!!
{Soul was originally planning to throw it aside, but now that Matcha wants it, no can do.}
YEE YEE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, 5? HEADASS. WANNA SEE A YEE YEE HAIRCUT? LET ME GET YOUR KNIFE AND I'LL SHOW YOU A YEE YEE HAIRCUT!
{Soul doesn't let go, trying to wrestle it back.}
DOES IT COME FROM THE CAMELLIA SINENSIS PLANT? DIDNT FUCKIN THINK SO!
<Matcha does their best to keep hands on the trident, wrestling with it. Ultimately though she loses, brow furrowing and making to grab it again.>
I AM JUST SAYING HOW IT IS ANYWAY AND IF YOU EVEN DARE TOUCH MY HAIR I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!
{Soul tries to kick Matcha down so it can sit on top of them.}
I GO TO THE STORE. I PICK UP BOX. IT SAYS "HERBAL TEA." IT'S FUCKING TEA YOU DUMBASS!!! EVERYONE AT THE STORE SAYS ITS TEA
{Soul ponders ways to launch Matcha into the stratosphere and tries to get the knife with its foot.}
<Matcha doesn't go down the first time rather it shoves forth into Soul when he does try and kick them.>
IT'S NOT FUCKING TEA, IT'S FAKE TEA, IT'S NOT MADE UP OF TEA LEAVES, THEREFORE NOT FUCKING TEA!! THERE IS NOTHING IN HERBAL TEA THAT REAL TEA HAS!
<Matcha eyes the knife and shoves Soul just a bit more this time.>
WHAT KIND OF UNO ARE YOU PLAYING???
The. Normal kind?
< ...No. >
You guys sound like you’re playing uno
<A pause.>
No? Usually uno has more bloodshed.
