im consumed by the chill of solitary @chaotic-1111-witch - Tumblr Blog

Jun 18

here it is!!! the final chapter of service with a smile. i'm so sad it's ending but also so happy about how much you guys have loved it. i hope that the last chapter does the fic justice (and if it doesn't don't tell me i'll cry). i'm gonna miss it but i can't wait to start writing something new!!! love u guys sm 🫶🏼💜

also frank gets pegged and i recommend you listen to leviathan before you read it

mdni‼️

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The summer sun was bright and warm on your face as you sat on your fire escape, cigarette hanging loosely in between your fingers as you leaned back to rest on your other hand. It was early, just past 6am, the town below you quiet and still.

You were graduating today. All of the leave of absences, breakdowns, gap years and stress we're finally beginning to feel worth it. At first you were embarrassed at how long it had taken you to get to this point. Most people your age had graduated a couple of years earlier and we're already onto their masters or had settled into their careers. It was for sure an insecurity that you'd carried since the first time you had to take a break in your studies; knowing that it would be the first of many, but it was all over now, and you felt nothing but pride.

You heard Frank step out onto the fire escape behind you, and then his warm body pressing into your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and let his legs hang over the edge. He grazed his lips over your neck as he buried his face into your shoulder, and you leaned back into his touch, resting your head on his chest as you took a drag of your cigarette.

Neither of you said a word, just enjoying the comfort and the silence between you as you passed Frank a fresh cigarette and lighter. The two of you had been officially together for around seven months - not including the on and off situation you had to begin with - and it had been almost a year since you'd first met that day outside of the restaurant. It made you laugh when you thought back to how you'd practically bagged Brian to sack him, and now, how you woke up together every day, whether at his place or yours. How all of your clothes smelled like him, how half of your wardrobe was at his apartment, how he still pissed you off, a lot, most of the time on purpose because "you're hot when you're mad at me", but you wouldn't have it any other way.

"You excited?" Frank mumbled into your hair, the pads of his fingers digging into your hips.

"Nervous," you replied quietly, as Frank stubbed out his cigarette, and you placed your hands over his, pulling them to wrap around you completely.

"You've got nothing to be nervous about, princess. You've done it. You just have to collect your degree." He moved your hair from your neck and began to place soft kisses trailing down to your shoulder, and you shivered.

"I'm not nervous about that," you laughed quietly. "I'm nervous about what comes after."

Frank lifted his head up to look at you, and you turned your head as best as you could to look behind you and meet his eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked gently, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." You shook your head, leaning forward to pull yourself up by the bars of the fire escape. "It's stupid."

You climbed back in through the window and crossed your apartment to the kitchen to begin making coffee. Frank followed closely behind you, a concerned look on his face.

"Tell me," he probed, stepping in front of you when you tried to skirt around him to the mug cupboard.

You thought for a second, crossing your arms over your chest and tapping your fingers lightly on your arm, then let out a heavy sigh.

"It's just- what happens next, you know?"

Frank frowned, shaking his head. "No, I don't know. Enlighten me."

"Okay, so what if- what if I get a job in another town and have to move?"

Frank frowned even harder, confusion etched all over his face.

"I'm not following," he said slowly.

"Your ex-," you started, but hesitated when you saw the panic flash over his face. You took a deep breath before you continued. "She didn't want to move with you when you moved. What if you don't want to move with me?"

There was a heavy silence that hung between the two of you, and suddenly you desperately wished you had never said anything. Frank looked hurt, but it was lightly veiled under the sadness in his eyes when the weight of the words hit him and he realized what you were insinuating.

"You think I'm gonna lose interest and screw someone else?"

The words near enough knocked the air out of your lungs, and your body tensed, your arms pulling tighter around yourself until you were hugging yourself.

"You can't blame me for being worried about it," you managed, your voice teetering on something between sadness and frustration. "You've not exactly got a good track record, Frank." The words came out harsher than you intended, and you winced, bracing yourself for the retaliation.

Frank laughed, loud, taking you by surprise as he stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. You watched him as he shook his head in disbelief, taking a moment to process. Then he stepped forward again, closer than before, his hands settling either side of you on the counter behind you.

"Sweetheart," he started, his voice soft and careful. "I need you to really hear me when I say this. I am in this for the long haul. If you do move - wherever it is - I'll go with you in a heartbeat." His hands moved to cup the sides of your face, his eyes piercing as he spoke. "I don't care if you move to France, or Italy, or the fucking North Pole -."

You let out a choked laugh that was cut off by Frank pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss, like he was locking the words in. His hands slid from your face to your hair, his hips pressing you into the counter behind you as you scrambled to wrap your arms around him, feeling the tension in your body dissipate.

He pulled back, only momentarily.

"Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you," he whispered, then grazed his lips to yours again, this time slower and intentional, letting his arms wrap around your torso until the two of you were breathless and dizzy.

"In fact," he continued, releasing you to reach behind you and grab two mugs out of the cupboard. "I was thinking we could move in together."

He turned away from you, crossing the kitchen to begin pouring the pot of coffee into the mugs, and you stood frozen, staring at the back of his head.

"Frank," you murmured. He kept his head down as he stirred sugar into your coffee, but you could hear the smile on his face even with his back to you.

"My place, your place, get a new place, whatever."

"Frank," you said again, firmer this time as you stepped closer to him.

He picked up the mugs and turned to hand one to you, then took a sip of his own. "If you're thinking of moving somewhere else then obviously we can wait, but-."

"Frank!"

He didn't even flinch, smirking at you over his mug as he met your eyes.

"What?" He asked innocently, swirling the coffee in the mug nonchalantly. "You think it's too soon?"

You put your mug down on the counter and rushed towards him to take his and place it beside him before you jumped on him, wrapping your legs around his waist as your lips crashed against his. He grabbed your thighs, holding you up as he laughed, breathy and low into your mouth.

"I want to," you mumbled against his lips, running your hands through his hair.

His hands slid around to palm your ass as you licked into his mouth, eliciting a soft moan from him. You nipped at his lower lip, gripping the hair at the base of his neck as your other hand cupped his jaw.

Eventually, he pulled away and attempted to put you down but you wrapped your limbs around him tighter.

"We have to get ready," he chuckled, but let you hold onto him for a while longer before you reluctantly climbed off him. He kept his hands on your hips as he nosed at your jaw, keeping you close. "Are you packed?"

You nodded your head with a grin, the excitement of your roadtrip quickly surpassing the excitement of moving in together. "Just have a few more bits to throw into my bag. I'm gonna go shower."

You turned to head towards the bathroom and Frank slapped your ass as you walked away from him before picking up his mug of coffee again. You stopped as you reached the bathroom door and looked at him over your shoulder.

"Oh, did you not want to join me?" You asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He bit his lip with a desperate groan and chugged his coffee, then practically sprinted after you, already pulling his shirt off over his head. You laughed as he kicked off his underwear and immediately began to work on your pyjamas, then backed you into the shower and turned the water on. You both gasped as the icy stream fell over you, and Frank laughed as you yelled at him before silencing you with a kiss, wrapping his arms around you.

Frank's body pressing into yours helped to shield you from the cold until the water heated up, his hands wandering up and down your sides as you tipped your head back and let him kiss down your neck, sucking softly just below your ear. You moaned as you moved your hands down his chest and gripped his length in your hand and began to slowly stoke him, feeling him buck his hips slightly into your hand.

He let out a shaky breath against your neck, then began sucking with more urgency, the skin below your ear pulsing under his lips as he marked you. You kept your pace with your hand teasing and light until he was whimpering, begging for more.

"Fuck, baby, please," he rasped, and you tightened your grip, letting your finger trace over his slit before sinking down to your knees on the shower floor and looking up at him through your lashes.

"Is this what you want?" You cooed, lifting his stiff cock and planting your tongue underneath before licking a stripe up to the tip. He shivered, a small gasp leaving his mouth that turned into a whine when you pressed your lips to the head, flicking your tongue out to swirl around the tip as you moved one hand to his ass and the other cupped his balls. You removed your lips to squeeze his ass, looking at him sternly. "Answer me."

"God, yes. Yeah, shit," he breathed, running a hand through his hair as he looked down at you with pleading eyes.

You took him into your mouth half way, hollowing your cheeks as you slowly pulled back to the tip then slid down again. His hands flew to the wall in front of him to steady himself as you worked your mouth around him, tracing your fingers under his balls and back towards his taint, massaging the skin softly. He inhaled a sharp breath, biting down on his lower lip as his knees almost gave out. You could tell he was trying his hardest not to move, but his hips betrayed him as he bucked into your mouth unwillingly, his hand sliding down off the shower wall to tangle loosely in your hair.

"Ah, please- m'sorry," he panted, taking his chances with another soft thrust of his hips as he looked down at you. When you relaxed your jaw and closed your eyes, planting your hands on his hips, he moaned, his eyes rolling back as he began to fuck your mouth. "So good to me. So good, don't- don't deserve you. God damn- shit, sweetheart. In your mouth? Can I-," he rambled, barely able to form the words into a coherent sentence as his pace began to falter.

You hummed around him in approval and he thrust a little deeper, hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag a little and your eyes to water, but you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out as he pulled out and began to pump himself quickly. It only took three flicks of his wrist before he came over your tongue with a low groan, dropping his head to watch you as you waited patiently for him to finish, then swallowed. You leaned forward to lick the drops from his tip, and he dragged you up by your elbows to kiss you, licking into your mouth with a moan when he tasted himself on you.

"You wanna clean me up?" You smirked, turning to pick up the soap. He took it eagerly, nodding his head as he began to lather it in his hands.

After thoroughly washing each other and a few more heated kisses, Frank made you both breakfast and then left you in your bedroom to get ready once he'd thrown on his clothes. He was dressed less formal than when he met your parents, which made you laugh, but he dressed himself in a black button up shirt and a pair of black jeans and converse.

Since you and Frank were headed out on your road trip straight after your graduation, you were having the celebration beforehand and had invited everyone to your apartment for drinks. Gerard and Mikey arrived early while you were still getting ready, and Gerard let himself into your room while Mikey caught up with Frank in your living room. He perched on the end of your bed, leaning back on his hands, watching you in the reflection of your mirror.

"You look stunning," he gushed, grinning at you.

"So do you," you replied, making eye contact with him in the mirror and returning the smile. "You cut your hair, it looks good."

Gerard's previously shoulder length hair was shorter now, still long enough to frame his face but short enough that he had styled it pushed back with a few pieces falling onto his forehead.

"Thanks, sugar," he murmured, running a hand through his hair. He cleared his throat, settling his hands in his lap and fiddling with the fabric of his jeans.

"You okay?" You placed your mascara down and turned to look at him. "You're uncharacteristically quiet."

He laughed, dropping his head. "I'm good, I'm just so happy for you. Guess I'm getting a little emotional." His voice cracked a little, and you abandoned your makeup all together to sit by him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a hug.

"I couldn't have figured my shit out without you," you mumbled into his shoulder. "Seriously, you're fucking amazing, Gee. I think I would have given up and moved back home a long time ago if I didn't have you. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

You pulled back to look at him, and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead, taking your hands in his.

"Promise me that we'll always be in each other's lives?"

"What are you talking about?" You shook your head incredulously. "You're my best friend, I couldn't do life without you. You'll always have a place in it."

He smiled, leaning forward to press his forehead to yours, freeing one of your hands to place his hand on the back of your neck, just holding you there.

"What about our pact?"

You rolled your eyes, laughing softly. "Yes, Gerard. If we're both single when we turn thirty we'll get married."

He let out a dramatic breath, leaning back to pretend to wipe sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. "Whew. Glad we got that out of the way."

You held your finger up teasingly. "But we are not calling our kid Geraldine."

Gerard held up his own finger in return, about to interject when you continued, reading his mind.

"Or Geraldo."

He pouted, grabbing your finger as you pointed sternly at him.

"Give me my finger back, Gerard," you scalded him, but he just grinned at you, then began to slowly lean towards it with his mouth open, threatening to bite. "Don't you dare," you warned him, trying to wriggle your finger free from his grasp. When his teeth grazed the tip of your finger, you relented. "Okay! Alright. Fine. We can use Geraldo."

He kissed the tip of your finger and released it from his grasp, patting you on the leg as he stood up from the bed.

"I'll leave you to finish getting ready," he told you happily, then turned to walk towards the door. "Also," he looked over his shoulder at you before he opened it. "Pact aside, I really hope that you and Frank work out."

You gave him a small smile as you settled in front of your makeup again, nodding. "Thanks, Gee. Me too."

Once you had finished your hair and makeup, you changed into your outfit and headed out into your living room. Ray, Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Alicia, Hannah, Joe and Pete all turned to look at you, cheering to you as you stepped into the room. Frank walked over to you to take your hand and twirl you, giving you a low whistle of approval as you blushed.

"There's the graduate!" Ray gushed, taking Frank's place to give you a warm hug. "You feeling good?"

"I am," you confirmed with a grin, and Joe appeared next to you, handing you a glass of prosecco.

Ray stepped back, tipping his glass to you to you, and everyone else raised their glasses in unison.

Words caught in your throat, a million things you wanted to say that wouldn't come out, and you cleared your throat, swallowing hard.

"God, I love you guys," you finally managed with a choked laugh, and that was enough. "I need a smoke."

Everyone laughed, and Frank immediately placed one into your hand like he was ready with it. You smiled gratefully at him and followed him out to the fire escape, leaning against the bars as he lit the cigarette for you, then his own. You both smoked in silence, just looking at each other with content smiles.

After another hour of drinks and laughter, you grabbed your cap and gown out of your closet and Frank helped you put them on in your bedroom. There was a mischievous glint in his eye, and you raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" You laughed, hooking a finger into his belt loop to pull him closer. "Do I have something in my teeth?"

He hummed in thought, sliding his hands under the robe to settle them against your lower back. He leaned down to pepper kisses to your jaw, and your eyes fluttered closed, pressing your body further into him.

"I just love you," he murmured against your skin.

You let out a shaky breath when he nipped at your skin with his teeth. "I love you, too."

"Hey, lovebirds," Gerard's chirpy voice sounded from your bedroom door. You both pulled away to turn and look at him popping his head around with a grin. "Cabs are here."

Your parents met you at the ceremony, wrapping you in a suffocating hug before they moved to Frank, then Gerard and Mikey while you made your way to your seats.

If you were being totally honest with yourself, you just wanted to get it over with and leave that chapter of your life behind. The ceremony seemed to go on forever, and by the time your name was called to go up and collect your degree, you were itching to get out of there. Frank had to place his hand on your knee a few times when you wouldn't stop bouncing it, taking your hand from your mouth when you were chewing on the side of your thumb to wrap it in his own hand comfortingly.

Your group were the loudest when you finally headed up on stage, whooping and hollering and whistling until you had taken your seat again. After the cap toss, you practically sprinted out of the venue, your group rushing behind you to keep up. You and Frank said your long, heartfelt goodbyes to everyone, jumped in a cab back to your place for a quick outfit change, then clambered into Frank's car after loading your bags into the trunk.

The plan was to drive until it got dark, then pick up some food from a drive-thru and stop off at a motel before heading out again the next morning. After exhausting Frank's car CD collection, you pulled a stack of CD's from yours out of your bag and began to shuffle through them. You grinned as you chose one and popped it into the slot, turning the volume up. Frank looked at you immediately as the first song began to play, and he grinned.

"You brought the CD I made you?" He laughed, a little embarrassed as he shook his head.

"Of course I did," you teased him. "Wanted to remind you how desperate you are."

He groaned, his tongue flicking out to wet his lower lip as he leaned his head back against the drivers seat. "I'm reminded every time I look at you." He slid his hand to your leg, pressing his fingers into the crease where your thigh met your pelvis. "Never been more desperate for a person. I'm addicted."

You hummed in approval, leaning your head against the window and letting your eyes closed while his thumb rubbed circles on your thigh. Frank woke you up a few hours later, and the first thing you noticed was the smell of food filling the car. Your stomach growled, and Frank chuckled, handing you a bag of french fries.

"Got your favourite," he mumbled with his mouth stuffed full of his own fries. "Veggie burger and fries."

You sat up and dug into the food, both of you eating in silence, too hungry to make conversation. When you'd finished, you both stepped out of the car to stretch your legs and smoke, shoving the empty food packaging into a trash can nearby. The two of you leaned against the hood of Frank's car, cigarettes sitting between your fingers and Frank's arm hooked around your waist while you rested your head on his shoulder. You inhaled on your cigarette and watched the smoke exhale up and swirl into the starlit sky above you in the drive through parking lot.

"You okay?" He asked you quietly, turning to press his face into your hair.

"I've never been better," you grinned, turning your own head to meet his lips with your own, kissing him softly.

"Cheap date," he teased against your lips.

After finishing your smokes, you both jumped back into the car and drove another mile down the road to the motel. You waited in the car with your things while Frank went to check in, and you both lugged your bags to the room once he returned with the key. The room was dated and poorly lit, and smelled faintly of stale cigarettes and poor decisions, but neither of you cared. You dumped your bags in the doorway and dropped down onto the bed side by side, staring at the ceiling as the exhaustion washed over you.

"Time is it?" You asked Frank quietly, rubbing your face with your hand roughly.

"Uh," he murmured, lifting his hips up to pull his phone out of his pocket. He squinted at the bright screen of his phone in contrast to the dark room, his eyes taking a second to register. "Just gone ten."

You sighed, rolling onto your side to look at him, and he placed his phone down on the bed to mirror you.

"Think I'm gonna sleep," you told him, running your hand through his hair. He pouted, sliding his hand to the back of your knee to pull you flush against him, wrapping your leg around his waist.

He buried his face into your neck, dragging his lips over your throat, and you tilted your head back, a soft, breathy moan leaving your lips as you tightened your fingers in his hair.

"I have a better idea," he whispered, then pulled back to look at you with that same glint in his eye from earlier.

"Oh yeah?" Your interest was piqued, and you sat up on your elbows to watch Frank as he rolled off the bed and began to dig through one of his bags. "What are you-," you began to ask, but when he pulled the item out of the bag your brain short circuited and your mouth hung open.

"You wanna-?"

"Yes," you said immediately, eyes dragging over the strap-on that Frank was holding up in front of him, dangling it on a single finger. He stood up and crawled up the bed towards you, placing it down next to you to begin pulling off your clothes. You were practically vibrating with excitement, and Frank chuckled as you grinned at him, eyes darting between the strap-on and Frank.

Once your clothes were shed, he began placing soft kisses on every inch of skin, starting from your face and neck and travelling down your legs until he was at the end of the bed again. You watched him through lidded eyes as he slipped off the bed again and dug through his bag to pull out a bottle of lube, then tossed it to you before quickly pulling off his own clothes.

"How long have you been thinking about this?" You asked him, and he just smirked at you, then settled at your feet, holding out his hand for the strap on. You passed it to him and lifted your hips so he could slip it on, fingers fumbling as he adjusted and tightened it.

When it was in place he knelt between your legs, leaning down to kiss your thighs again, travelling up until he was at the base of the dildo, then flattened his tongue underneath it and licked up to the tip. Your eyes widened, turned on beyond belief. You shuffled up to sit, picking up the lube and popping the cap.

"On your back," you instructed him, and he didn't have to be told twice. He rolled over and you switched positions so you were kneeling between his legs, his eyes never leaving yours.

After coating your fingers in a generous amount of lube, you pulled his knees up to rest against your chest, wrapping one hand around his length and pressing a single finger tip of your other hand to his rim, massaging gently as you slowly worked your fist over his half hard cock. His eyes fluttered closed and he bit back a groan, letting his head rest back against the pillow.

You began to slowly ease one finger in, stopping when you got to your first knuckle to let him adjust, then pulling back a little before pushing in further, repeating your actions while you whispered quiet praise to him. After a few minutes, you added another finger, then began to scissor them, stretching him. Frank let out a shaky breath, squirming underneath you when you added a third finger, eyebrows pulling together. He let out a sharp gasp suddenly, pushing down onto you, and you froze, dragging a whine out of him.

"You okay?" You asked him quickly, but he nodded his head immediately.

"So good, don't stop," he rasped. "Fuck, so good."

You smiled, leaning up to press your lips to his quickly before you continued.

"Okay, I think you're ready."

Frank nodded and rolled over onto his hands and knees, and you reached for the lube again, coating the dildo before settling behind him, running your hands down his back until you got to his hips and settled them there, holding him firm. You pushed the tip into him, slow and careful, stopping less than an inch in to check in with him.

"Still okay?" You asked him softly, and he nodded.

You eased in more, stopping half way and giving Frank the lead momentarily for him to push back at his own pace until your hips were flush against him. He let out a choked whine, and you leaned down to place gentle kisses between his shoulder blades. After a moment, you pulled back and pushed back in, and he groaned, breathing heavily as you slowly increased your movements, reaching your hand underneath him to stroke his length softly. He was already leaking, and he gasped, his voice cracking when you began to pump him in time with your thrusts.

"Holy shit, you've done this before," he almost laughed, hands balling into fists around the sheets underneath him.

"So have you," you cooed, using your free hand to drag your nails down his back, snapping your hips with more urgency, his cock twitching in your hand with every thrust. "You like getting fucked by me?"

Frank's words got caught in his throat and he let out a gutteral moan as he dropped down onto his chest, arms wrapping around a pillow. His mouth hung open, eyelids heavy as his moans filled the room.

"God, look at you," you drawled, a little breathless from the exertion. "Face down, ass up in seedy motel. You're right where you wanna be, aren't you?"

All Frank could do was whimper, your words alone pushing him closer and closer. He couldn't even tell you that he was close, the words getting lost in his whines and moans, but you could sense it by the way he began to grind back onto you and bit down onto his knuckle, screwing his eyes shut.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked him sweetly, tightening your grip around him.

He cried out, his back arching and his body going rigid as he came over the sheets, hard and fast. You stilled your hips but continued to stroke him until he was writhing and cursing beneath you.

"Oh, fuck," he panted, his voice strained as you slowly eased out of him.

He rolled over onto his back, looking up at you with heavy eyelids and a crooked smile as he pushed his hair out of his face. You crawled up to straddle his hips, the strap-on dragging over his stomach as you leaned down to press your lips to his. His hands cupped your face, holding you there while he kissed you back lazily, letting his tongue graze over yours.

You pulled back to catch your breath and rested your head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight.

"God," you laughed breathlessly. "I don't know how you do it. I'm fucking exhausted."

He chuckled, brushing his thumb over your cheek and resting his lips to the top of your head. When you had both somewhat caught your breaths, Frank rolled you off him and onto your back before settling between your legs. He slipped the strap-on off your hips, tossing it to the side before pulling your knees up over his shoulders.

"My turn," he smirked.