resident silly goose!!! she/he, enfp, cdt, insane, all that good stuff!!! i’m currently obsessed with undertale, steam powered giraffe, and the phantom of the opera (crazy range of fandoms, i know. sue me) so i’ll post about those a lot. i’m also 15 years of age and a sans fangirl so cringe will ensue
about me !!! (I MOVED TO @ssstarbewwy GUYS IM ALIVE!!)
links
drawn by the amazing @ghosttoastx !!! if you read this ily you’re never getting rid of me now
Hi!!! I’m Alice.
I do stuff. It’s pretty cool.
Enfp, hufflepuff, Capricorn Sun, Libra moon, Pisces rising, he/she, and more!! I’m also a non-partnering aromantic and gray asexual!
I stalk blogs I like, don’t be alarmed if I like a bunch of posts at once!! In fact, be happy!! I love you!!!!!
If you want to talk to me please do!!! I want more friends. Just keep in mind I am a 15 year old minor!
You have been warned!
DNI:
racists, homophobes, sexists, etc. general dni criteria ig
people who just hate for no reason!! (anti-furry, just hating on certain fandoms, etc. ticks me off!)
proshippers
frans/fontcest
exclusionists
radqueers
radfems
pro paras. go to therapy
nsfw (also sorta related to above, pro cnc/ageplay. go to therapy)
WIPS:
Wilting Flowers - My actual baby. My pride and joy. It’s imperfect but that’s okay.
Credit to Emma Hinman (@theemmahinman on Pintererst) for the cover photo!
~~~
"'I'm so sorry,' She uttered.
'Why?' Grim...
The actual grim reaper falls in love with a mortal. I can’t do it justice, you’re just gonna have to trust me.
don’t break my heart - Shameless Sans fanfic. All of the self indulgence ever, but it brings me joy :) semi discontinued, might come back!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
I love it man. It makes me so happy. Basically yn is an awkward dumbass and so is Sans and they fall in love and stuff :)
Fandoms:
My main fandoms are Twilight and Undertale (obv), but I’m in a bunch more!! :D
The Arc of a Scythe by Neil Shusterman
Harry Potter by Daniel Radcliffe (JK…)
Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar
Doki Doki Literature Club by Dan Salvato
Omori by Omocat
Arcane by Riot Games
The Walten Files by Martin Walls
The Amazing Digital Circus by Glitch Studios
The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber (the book’s by Gaston Leroux but i haven’t read it lol)
Deltarune by Toby Fox (is that an anagram???)
Meet the Robinsons by Disney
And more that aren’t off the top of my head!! Just ask bros :)
I’m kinda obsessed with UTMV, soooo….
Fav AU - Insomnia (link to chapter 1)
Fav Sans - Dust by Ask-Dusttale and Geno by LoverofPiggies
Music:
Ranked by popularity, with my fave songs from each! Just like the fandoms, it's all over the place.
Taylor Swift - Haunted
Hozier - In The Woods Somewhere
Muse - Soldier's Poen
Mitski - Last Words of a Shooting Star
Will Wood - Suburbia Overture/Vampire Culture/Whatever the hell the name is idek anymore
Dazey and the Scouts - Maggot
The Oozes - I Still Adore You
Lemon Demon - Action Movie Hero Boy
Tally Hall/Miracle Musical - Misery Fell
Teddy Hyde - Terry’s Taxidermy
Destroy Boys - Crybaby
The Crane Wives - Little Soldiers
Steam Powered Giraffe - Malfunction
Writing Requests:
HEY SO HERES A FUN FACT: I WANT YOU TO ASK ME TO WRITE THINGS FOR YOU!! LIKE I LOVE THAT!!! I WILL WRITE YOU LITTLE ONESHOTS IF ITS A FANDOM IM IN!!! OR I CAN WRITE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS IF YOU’RE INTO THAT!!! JUST PLEASR PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME AAAAAAA
Things You Might Want to Be Aware Of:
i tend to isolate myself when i’m having a Big Sad™️ moment. please do not be mad if i act cold!!!
i’m a very empathic person and i get really upset around negativity. please do not send me or mention me in anything political or controversial.
i get in my head about disturbing/sexual things. once again, don’t show me this stuff. don’t ask me to write about it, either!!
i am uncomfortable around religious discussions. i get enough of them irl!!! please keep them away from me :')
i’ve got adhd and possible ocd so yeah and also my auditory processing sucksssss so if we ever interact on call or *gasp* irl then i’ll say “what?” every five seconds
books. @bunny-on-a-bookshelf for books.
i’m just a silly little girl who is also a boy. we have fun here
Tags:
(new so they haven’t been used much)
#mootie patooties - mutuals
#irl alice - real life shtuff
#reblogs - self explanatory
#alice writes sometimes - my writing!!!!
#skeleposting - undertale/utmv
#is that an anagram??? - deltarune
#sparkly - twilight
#im aspec BUT - simping, fangirling, i do a lot of it
#liveblogging homestuck - reading homestuck and making vague comments about it.
#ALL HAIL - welcome to nightvale stuff!!!
#rock n robinson - meet the robinsons
#musical automatons - steam powered giraffe!!!! the best band ever btwwwew
Esther tears open the packet of dried meat, her mouth already beginning to water. She swallows. “Shane, we should feed the kids first.”
“Right,” Shane replies. He stares down at the food as he chews the inside of his cheek. “Do you think it’s safe enough to let them out? I mean, nobody’s come past the house in a couple days, but…” Esther hums.
“No one would see, anyway.” Setting down the packet, she stands and walks over to the window. She pulls back the curtain, examining the layer of frost on the pane. “Nothing but white out there.” She secures the towel shoved into the sliver of an opening near the window sill and lets the curtain fall back into place. “Let's bring them up.”
Shane stands, grabbing the jerky off of the floor. “Seen any mice lately?”
“No. They’re all dead,” Esther assures him. “Frozen, starved, or eaten. I checked.” Shane nods, but hesitates before setting the packet down on the counter. “Bring it, if you want.” His hand hovers over it.
“Nah, I don’t wanna pour it out on the floor down there.” Esther nods and walks into the hallway. Shane stares at the food a second more before following her. “I checked on them yesterday. Chava was sniffling a little.”
“I checked this morning. She was shivering. I’ve been praying she isn’t getting a cold.” Shane grimaces. He doesn’t tell her that Chava’s forehead was burning up. Much like how Esther doesn’t tell Shane that she was sweating and barely strong enough to hug her. She shudders. Shane presses a kiss to her forehead.
They both kneel and scrabble to find the crack in the floorboards. Shane finds it first and Esther follows. They pull back the wood to reveal the hatch to the ‘cellar’, an old, old, storm shelter, another reminder of their terrible weather. It groans as it is opened, revealing the damp, dark cellar beneath. The dim light of a dying lantern flickers below.
Esther is barely down the ladder when a small boy barrels towards her. He exclaims her name and is suddenly in her arms, knocking the air out of her.
“Hello there, David,” She laughs, straightening out his hair.
“Esther,” He pulls away, grinning. “my tooth is wiggly!”
“Oh!” She exclaims, grimacing as he shows her the tooth. “Wonderful! Now please stop doing that.” She grins as he turns to Shane and gives him a hug. She scans around the small room for the other two. Chava was curled up on the makeshift bed, made of the few couch cushions and blankets they hadn’t yet burned. Where’s..?
Her chest tightens as panic seizes her, gasping. Her eyes dart to every dark corner, anywhere she could be hiding. Did another run away? She thinks of brave little Henry, that restless little boy, who thought he could make it out. He thought he could flee from the Eye, thought he could get out. “Shane,” She breathes. “Where's Liv?” Before Shane can calm her, there is a tap on her shoulder. She jumps, gasping, only to laugh breathlessly as she looks behind her. “Alivia!” She scolds.
“Sorry!” Alivia peeps. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” She stands with her hands behind her back, smiling apologetically. Esther takes a breath, clutching her chest with her hand as if she were afraid her heart would burst out of her chest. Shane puts a hand on her shoulder.
“You’re fine, hun,” she tells the little girl. “Just got a little scared.” She kneels and begins to smooth out Alivia’s dark hair and straighten her glasses.
Shane sighs, relieved. “And how are you feeling, Liv Liv?”
“Okay!” She beams assuringly at the two. “Worried about Chava, a little cold, but other than that I’m good!”
“Good!” Shane responds. He musses her hair, causing Esther to scoff and swat his hand away. He snorts before turning and heading over to Chava. He sits on the corner of the bed. “Chava?” He whispers, gently shaking her shoulder. He smiles. “Cha-va~” She turns a little and sniffs, smiling.
“Hi,” She responds.
“Hi!” Shane mirrors. “How are you feeling, Chavaleh?” He presses the back of his hand to her forehead. He doesn’t let his smile drop.
“Tired. My head hurts,” She whines. Shane cups her face.
“I know, sweetheart,” He sighs. “I’m sorry. We might have some medicine somewhere around here.”
“So she is sick?” Esther kneels beside him. Shane hums in response. After glancing over at her expression, he murmurs, “Hey. She’ll be okay.”
“Are you keeping warm enough down here?” She asks Chava. “We can find more blankets somewhere.” Most likely from her and Shane’s bed, but she wasn’t about to tell her that.
“I’m a little cold, but Liv says more blankets won’t help if I’m sick.”
Esther sighs. “Liv is a very smart girl,” She responds, glancing back at Alivia’s small smile. “Well, like Shane said, we’ve gotta have cold medicine somewhere.”
“If the storm calms down, I might be able to run and get some.”
She frowns. “The store’ll be closed.”
“You’d be surprised,” counters Shane. He lowers his voice to not let the other kids hear him. “We have food for you guys.”
Her face lights up. “Really?”
“Really really. Government issued rations.” He nods. Chava slowly sits up and puts a hand to her head. Esther looks over at him, and he nods.
“Kids, we’re all going upstairs!” Esther exclaims. David jumps up, cheering. Chava brightens.
“Is it safe?” Alivia peeps.
Shane stands and kneels in front of her. “Alivia, do you think we would have you do anything that we thought wasn’t safe?”
“No.” Her voice says otherwise.
“Liv, nobody’s come by the house in a week,” Esther consoles her. “I’ve checked. We’ll be okay, okay hun?”
She gulps. “Okay.” David was already halfway up the ladder. Chava got to her feet, wobbling a bit.
“May I carry you?” Shane asked, steadying her. “It’s a big climb for those teeny tiny little legs.” Chava giggles before pausing, considering.
“Yeah.” She nods.
“Okay. You’re gonna have to hold onto me.” Shane picks her up by the armpits and pulls her into his arms. Chava’s arm’s wrap around his neck. “Good?”
“My head hurts.”
“Probably because I’m moving you. It’s okay, I’ll set you down upstairs.” Chava’s head rests against his shoulder and they start up the ladder. Alivia takes a deep breath. Esther nods in reassurance. They both climb up.
After setting Chava down Shane picks the packet of dried meat back up, inspecting it to make sure nothing got into it. Just like Esther said, no mice. Still, he had to make sure. Especially since they had torn it open before they brought everyone upstairs. He calls for all of the kids—Chava was already sitting down, David was god knows where, Henry—Henry was not here, he kept forgetting—and Alivia was with Esther. They both join Chava on the floor.
“Henry--David, did you hear me?” Shane calls. “Come get food!” Esther stands up, eyes wide, and almost immediately David runs down the stairs.
“Coming!” He calls back. He slides to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, smiling. “Sorry,” he apologizes, although he looks unapologetic. “I was looking at your room.” Shane snorts.
Esther sighs, a small smile slipping through her expression. “Why?” asks Esther.
“I just wanted to see it!” She rolls her eyes teasingly. Shane heads to the kitchen, grabs a dusty plate from the cabinet, and brushes it off. The kitchen table had been used as firewood long ago, and he was opposed to having everyone eat off of the floor. He pours out the packet and attempts to partition it into six—not six anymore, five now—five even portions. This ration packet was only meant for two, so the portions were less than enough. Better than nothing, though. He calls for Esther.
“Do you think we should get into the emergency stash?” He asks her. “Since Chava needs more calories.”
“I mean…” She looks at the tiny portions. “I don’t know. I mean, no one’s actively starving to death, but I think it would help everyone—”
“—All of us are starving to death. Nobody’s actively dying, but we could any day.” She draws in a breath through her teeth at his words. He sighs. “I’m sorry. I know. Is it better to use a can now or save it for when we’re really desperate?”
She pinches at the skin of her hand. “...I don’t know. I don’t know.” They both stare at each other for a moment. “We’re too young to be parents. I don’t know anything, and we’re starving, and the government wants these kids dead, and we haven’t known them all their lives, so we don’t know how to parent them—”
“Esther.” He embraces her, squeezing her as tight as he can. “We can live. They can live. We’re a family now. We’re together. We’ll learn how to survive and parent and all of the rest of that stuff.” He lets her go. “I’m gonna open a can. Probably some peaches. Is that okay with you?” She breathes before nodding. “Okay.”
Esther walks back into the living room. The kids are still sitting on the floor, Chava and David both leaning against Alivia. Esther smiles at the sight. Moments later, Shane walks out of the kitchen, plate and open can in hand.
Chava stares at the can. “Henry said you don’t open the cans unless someone’s dying.”
Both Shane and Esther sputter for a moment. “We thought it would be best to… have a little extra food tonight,” says Shane. Esther nods in agreement.
Chava slumps, still staring. “...Am I dying?”
“No,” Esther rushes. “No, no. You’re fine, hun. We just thought that a little extra calories might, uh—” She breaks into a nervous giggle. “—Some nutrients will be good for you, it’s um, worth using the rations for.” She laughs a bit more. “This is the right decision.”
Shane winces. “I think you could use the calories too.” He sets the food down in front of them and sits with them. Without a word, everyone instantly attacks the food. The can of peaches is passed around.
As he takes a bite of his jerky, Shane notices something odd. Something smooth and flat almost crunches between his molars before he pulls it out of his mouth, examining it. It was a fingernail. A whole human fingernail. Bile rises in his throat, but he swallows it back down. He glances over to Esther, who was eating contentedly. He then looks over to the thin, pale children, almost finished practically inhaling their rations.
He hides the nail in his pocket and continues eating.
Esther, feeling much more level-headed after filling her stomach, comments, “You know, it’s a wonder they can even keep livestock in this weather. I think it’s pork.” She watches Shane turn away and breathe before replying.
“Tastes more like beef, I think.” He grins widely.
“Ehh, maybe the texture’s beefy. But it tastes like pork.”
“Nuh-uh.”
Esther scoffs and rolls her eyes dramatically, eliciting giggles from the kids. “I’d call you a child, but it’d be an insult to all of the incredibly intelligent children here.”
“Jeez.”
Esther sighs in return and glances back to the now empty plate and can. “I’ll be back.” She takes the objects and heads towards the kitchen.
“How’s everyone feeling?” Shane asks, filling the silence. “Better now?” He was met with nods and smiles from the younger two, but nothing from Alivia. “You okay, Liv?”
“Can I talk to you?” She avoids his eyes.
Confused, he nods. “Sure. Come with me.” He stands, telling David and Chava, “If Esther comes back, tell her we’re just in the hall.” David nods and Chava smiles. He leads Alivia into the hallway. “What’s up?”
She grimaces before pulling something out of her pocket. “It was in the food.” She opens her palm to reveal a very familiar looking ring. “It was Henry’s.”
Time freezes as he stares at the ring. He feels his heart begin to pound in his chest. “I know,” he breathes. His stomach twists. He looks up at Alivia’s terrified face, shaking him back to reality. He takes a deep breath and stands taller, attempting to reassure her. “But it’s not a hard ring to make. I’m sure it’s just one of many. Probably slipped off of someone’s finger and made its way into the grinder.” He knew he was spouting nonsense, but Alivia seemed to relax a bit.
“I didn’t want to show Esther. She gets sad,” she explains.
“I’m glad you didn’t. It would only scare her.” He extends his hand, shaking more than he would like to. “Can I keep it?” She hesitates before dropping the ring into his palm. “Thank you so much, Liv Liv. Now—” He gulps. “—I hate to do this to you, but please don’t tell the others. It won’t do any good, and even though I can assure you everything’s fine, they might not think so.” He tucks the ring into his pocket. “It’ll scare everyone out of eating, and we can’t let that happen.”
Alivia swallows. “Even Esther?”
“Especially Esther.” She grimaces. “Can you do it, Liv?”
She takes a deep breath. “Okay.” She smiles at him. “Everything’s fine?”
“Everything’s fine.” He attempts to joke, “The government may be doing some weird and messed up stuff lately. Population control, ugh,” He groans, successfully getting her to laugh. “But I highly doubt they’d go as far as you’re thinking. Everything’s fine. I am absolutely sure of it.”
Alivia nods in agreement. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, kiddo.” He ruffles her hair. “Go play with David and Chava. Make sure they don’t get into any trouble.” She nods and runs off. Shane returns to the living room, where Esther waits for him.
“She okay?” she asks.
“Yeah. Just a little anxious, is all.”
She nods. “She misses Henry.”
Shane smiles sadly. “We all do. I’m gonna run upstairs real quick, okay?” Esther nods and watches him disappear up the stairs.
As he tries to figure out a place to hide the ring, a pit grows in Shane’s stomach. He pushes away the feeling. His family was alive (for the most part), fed, and happy, for now. That was all he needed to worry about. He wasn’t about to essentially eliminate their only good source of food, even if thinking about where it came from made him want to hurl. He hated that this was what they had to resort to. He was absolutely terrified despite himself. But he needed to feed his family.
immy threw out a letter. the handwriting gets poorer and poorer as it reaches the end. some lines are scribbled out.
Dear Grim,
Hi! How are you? How are you feeling? I miss you a ridiculous amount. Like, an insane amount. Fuck you for leaving me. But, also, I get why you did. It's just painful for me, specifically. I hope you come home soon. Please come home soon. I was so happy when Gabriel told me I could send post. I'm worried sick about you and I'm so lonely in the house by myself.
I have something to tell you. You're gonna hate it. I dropped out. I know, it was too soon, I should've waited longer. I just couldn't handle it. I thought maybe I could wait but then everything happened and I'm really really sorry but I just had to. Please don't be mad. I just couldn't do it by myself. I'm really sorry. I'll get a job or something. I'm working on it. I wasn't able to handle it. I'm not strong like you are, Grim. I'm sorry.
I'm so lonely. Lucy and Luke are already working at HQ. As you know, Gabriel's doing that archivist internship. You guys will work so well together! Axel and Dal are both studying under some allseer. I guess everyone really is growing up without me! It's funny. I thought things were supposed to go slower with you immortals.
People are checking in on me. I have that teleportation pad Mx. Xen gave me. I've gone grocery shopping and cleaned the entire house. Except for your room, of course. And the office. It's not locked, though. I checked. I'm too scared to mess it up. Like I think he'll come home. I went in there and I just started Sorry about my bad writing! I've never been as good at this as you. I'm a little frazzled, I guess. I keep writing sentences that don't make sense. As I was saying, I've kept busy, so don't worry about me. Seriously. I'm fine. I'm making it a bigger deal than it is. I am lonely. I'm so lonely. Grim, it's okay if you're mad at me, but please please come home--I won't get it the way. I won't bring it up. You don't even have to talk to me. I just keep feeling so crazy in this house. I'm so lonely. I miss him. But I miss you more. I'm not mad. Please dont think im mad im not i just want you back. please come back. please come back. its so quiet here and i cant sleep at night and i keep thinking i hear him in his office and i miss him so much and i miss you so much so come home. dont die on me too. do you hate me? i always believed in you. i was just worried. i was right and now you hate me dont you? i knew it i fucking knew it i knew this wouldn't happen why didnt you listen??? why didnt you listen im not mad im not i promise im just so so so lonely and so tired please come home grim i love you just please come home
this is the letter she actually sent. it sits in a box in grim's bedroom. it's been sprayed with lavender-vanilla perfume.
Grim,
I miss you more than I can write. I really hope the boarding house is treating you well, and that you're feeling better. Or at least okay. That would do.
I'm going to try not to skate around the hard things. I'm not mad at you. I want you to know that. I could never, ever be mad at you for this. I know this is more painful for you than I could possibly imagine. I miss him too. And I know you're dealing with that and more. Please know that I'm not planning on ignoring any of this. I'm certainly not planning on torturing you over it, either. So there.
Now, for the lighter stuff. I'm SO FUCKING BORED! I'm bored and I'm lonely because you were right about everything and everyone is growing up and I need to, too. I dropped out of Uni. Please don't be mad. I know you think I'm stupid. It was just too much for me to deal with right now. It does suck though, because everyone's doing things and I have nothing to do. I go get groceries I don't need. I clean things that aren't really messy. I wish you were here to leave your things on the table. Or spill coffee everywhere. Or please just play the piano, because the house has been dead silent for two weeks straight and now I can hear colors. Send help!
Anyway, I'm really lonely without you. And your father. But mostly you. I hope you don't plan on boarding for too long, or I may just have to room with someone else! Gabriel would maybe take me. I'm sure he'd take GREAT care of me. So come home soon. Before I fall prey to temptation. I'm a restless woman, Grim. I need it once a week. Conversation, I mean.
So. I'm. Uh. Kind of freeloading off of you now? I can job hunt, I swear, I just need a month. Or maybe two. Or maybe as long as you'll give me? I know I said I was bored before, but I might be even more miserable having actual responsibilities in the state I'm in. Which, I guess, is funny for me to say to you. I'm sorry you have responsibilities right now. If you didn't, maybe you'd be home. I never thought about that.
We could maybe almost pretend you don't, though. We could take a Friday night and eat pizza and watch movies. We could do nothing but sit on the couch all weekend, if you wanted. Or just in the same house. I could knock on my floor to make sure you're still around. Or make a comically long tin can telephone. Grim, I'M SO LONELY! Anyway, I'll get a job if you really want me to. I just might be a little whiny about it. If I'm not already whiny enough, for you.
Anyway, I'm sorry for being a whiny freeloading bitch. I miss you a lot and I want you to come home, but I know boarding will be good for you. Please tell me all about it! Do you have a roommate? Are they cute? Are they replacing me? Send word so I know you're not in the trenches or something. And that I'm still your favorite. Remember how much I care about you and how I'm also hot and funny.
Yours,
Immy
she then drew a heart, sprayed the paper with her perfume, and shipped it off to the boardinghouse. later, she would confess she thought of leaving a lipstick mark, but thought it would be over the top. grim was relieved she didn't, considering the perfume nearly caused him a come-apart, anyway.
"I do miss you. I miss you every day. And I stay up at night, thinking of you. That's your fault. You've made things a lot harder on me, Immalyn."
"My dearest Immalyn..."
hello, sweethearts! my name is alice. i am the author of wilting flowers, a story i wrote on wattpad when i was 13. now, i've improved, revised, and expanded upon it, but i do not have the energy to rewrite the entire thing. this blog is my solution.
i will post blurbs of what i now consider to be the improved version of the story here. blurbs will not necessarily be in order or give readers proper exposition. i'll probably make an exposition post eventually, but until then, here is the link to the original. do not feel obligated to read the whole thing. unless, of course, you want to (love you forever) <3
my main writing blog is @alice-is-elsewhere, my main MAIN blog is @ssstarbewwy
here is the chronological masterlist for all content. please note that you don't need to read chronologically! types of content are tagged. if you just want to look at a specific character, timeframe, or writing type, you most certainly can. this blog is more of a collection than a set narrative.
there are gay bars and lesbian bars and then “normal” straight bars so i think there should be aroace bars where absolutely none of that happens and we can sit there and discuss warhammer lore instead
