Charlotte Valensky

24 years old. Human. "I make my home on Finn's back. It's a very nice home."

[charlotte-valensky]

World's Best Dumb Looking Wiener || Charlotte & Finn

[finn-sanders]

The number of times Finn was naked usually far outweighed when he was actually clothed, so it was a surprise to about nobody in the world when she mentioned that she had seen his little buddy in his various stages. Still, he rolled his eyes and followed as she dragged him.

"I didn’t steal a car,” Finn practically huffed at her. He was a new man! “I’m a new man!” he confirmed aloud. “And if I do anything bad within a year after being released on parole, they’d probably put me back…” For a lot longer than he actually wanted. He was actually pretty proud of himself for being as good as he was being. Then again, he rarely left Robin’s couch if he could help it. "I mean technically getting naked and taking a jump in a pond would probably be considered doing something bad, but…" Did it sort of cancel out if you had a hot chick with you? "You can just flash the cops if they happen by while I run." He shot her a charming Finnigan smile. "And then I could come bail your naked ass out of jail and we could do it all again next weekend." And because he obviously did like to have her boobs on his back, he tugged her off the trail to grab where he had put his dirt bike behind a tree, pulling it out and hopping on before motioning his head for her to join him.

[charlotte-valensky]

Lotte frowned as he mentioned going back to jail. His being in jail for the past couple months had been enough to almost lead her to murder someone. She was so used to his company that being without him was like being without half of her soul. She almost grimaced a little to herself at the way she was being so mushy about her big werewolf before his words brought her out of it.

"I'll flash them and start screaming about some dead body somewhere and then act all freaked out when it's mysteriously gone," she paused for a moment before sighing aggravatingly, "No that would only make it worse." She patted her head as if to say to herself 'stupid'. But she was further distracted by his jerking her sideways off the trail.

This might have been where someone would have asked where are we going? Lotte, however, just followed along behind Finn happily. She was just glad to be back with him again.

She was even happier when she saw his dirt bike. Lotte didn't admit to liking much of anything. But pretty much anyone could see the way she enjoyed riding on the back of his dirt bike. So when he motioned for her to join him, she practically skipped over and jumped up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and scooted up as close as she could get to him, making sure she was perfectly positioned before pressing her chest to his back.

There, now they were both happy.

"Forward unto the lake of nakedness!"

[dailyhoodieallen]

Visit Original Link

[doubledepresso]

[charlotte-valensky]

World's Best Dumb Looking Wiener || Charlotte & Finn

[finn-sanders]

Finn almost gasped as she pulled out the cookies (“Hey, I was gonna look there next!”) and happily took three and mushed them down and shoved them in his mouth. He forgot to eat breakfast and lunch today, in his own defense.

"No wonder you always smell like cookies in the morning," Finn commented casually when he finally managed to swallow down said cookies before smiling widely down at her. That was, until she casually suggested skinny dipping and he started to choke on a chocolate chip. "I talk in my sleep?" he coughed out, barking out a laugh as well as he hit himself on the chest. "Did I happen to mention where I put Toby’s extra set of truck keys? ‘Cause I kind of forgot…"  Not that that was particularly relevant right now, because Toby was the last thing he wanted to talk about when he was literally getting a free pass to see boobies. He grinned even wider. “Fine, we’ll skinny dip,” Finn popped his p, slinking closer to her as his grin turned into a smirk. “After all, if you claim I said it, it has to be true, right?” And also Finn just really enjoyed being naked like…. all the time. "Just remember," Finn hesitated slightly before grabbing Lotte’s hand. "The water is cold, so… No judgement when you see my wiener.”

[charlotte-valensky]

Charlotte leaned against him as he moved closer, enjoying the warmth that he always brought. It was probably one of her favorite things about him being a werewolf - besides the fact that he proved that she'd never been crazy as a kid. But then she leaned back to gaze up at him with that stereotypical blank stare of hers.

"Finn I've seen your wiener. Erect and..." she paused, trying to think of that word that was the opposite of erect when in references to penises, "not... erect..." Fuck it, thinking involved a lot of... Thinking. And she wasn't down for that - obviously, she'd hardly passed high school. "And I'm gonna be really offended if you aren't getting a raging boner while I'm naked," she told him in her flat tone of voice before reaching over and grabbing another cookie.

"So let's go," she told him, grabbing his hand and practically dragging him back onto the trail. "You said you were gonna drive?" she asked, "Did you steal a car, or are we riding your dirt bike because I vote the last one because cars are boring and I can't feel you up in a car." She paused before continuing, "I mean I could, but you'd like... get arrested again or something." Charlotte's grasp on laws was pretty loose, but she knew that two friends of hers went to jail for fooling around in a car. Cars - Charlotte had surmised - were evil.

"And I know you like having my boobs smushed against your back, don't deny it."

[knopetastic]

[charlotte-valensky]

World's Best Dumb Looking Wiener || Charlotte & Finn

[finn-sanders]

Ever since Finn had accidentally gotten thrown in jail for what felt like years but was really only a few months, he had really started to come to appreciate what he had in life as opposed to what could have been. And what had he always had?

Charlotte Valensky, that’s what. After he looked all around his place and found no sign of her anywhere (could you really blame him for checking his own place first?) he finally made it to her own little camp — — where he immediately caught whiff of something that smelled like cookies. But for the life of him, he couldn’t find them. A half hour later, he was still looking. Luckily, Lotte had found him before he took a pocket knife to her sleeping bag. "Lotte!" he grinned, happily letting her tug him around like a rag doll despite the fact that he was certainly bigger and definitely a lot stronger than her. It was kind of their thing. He wrapped an arm around her, lifting her up off the ground and twirling her around before plopping her back on the dirt and looking to her with a cheeky grin. "Hey, cool. They’ve kicked me out before, too," he responded easily. Where hadn’t he been banned at this point, however? "I was coming here to see fi you had any food, and then I was gonna drive down to the lake. Wanna join?" he asked, quirking a brow before quickly moving on. "Hey, do you have cookies around here somewhere??"

[charlotte-valensky]

Charlotte was pretty sure that nothing could ever even come near to the way her heart soared when he spun her around like that. The few months without that had been her own personal version of hell. Though, they had had way too much fun making funny faces at each other on the glass between them in the prison visitors place. She'd tried to moon him and press her butt to the glass, but they'd told her she couldn't or she'd end up in jail with him. She'd almost done it anyway. Charlotte could imagine few things more fun than being in jail at the same time as Finn.

"Uh, yeah," she told him, as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire world. That was the answer to both questions. She turned and went to her sleeping bag rolling it open and reaching down into the bottom, grabbing out the bag of chips ahoy. "I like to cuddle with it, the smell of cookies is what lulls me to sleep," she told him before extending the bag to him, but not before taking a cookie for herself.

Charlotte chewed up a bite of the cookie before looking up at him from under her dark bangs, "Is it okay if we skinny dip in the lake?" She paused to gaze at him for a long time, "I know the water is like cold as hell right now, but I'm a zombie so I can handle it... And if not I'll just make you cuddle me until I'm warm."

She paused for a moment before saying, "And I know you want to see me naked, too. Because you said it that one time when you were sleep talking." Lotte gazed at him with a completely blank expression on her face. There was never any way to tell if Lotte was telling the truth or a huge lie because her face hardly ever changed.

[charlotte-valensky]

The Monster That Lived Under My Bed || Charlotte & Dean (closed)

Booty dancing on the street was probably not recommended. Especially not when wearing a skirt that was about two sizes to big and barely hanging onto her hips.But she'd been jamming to the ipod she'd stolen from some girl sitting on a bench who was studying from some text book like a smarty-butt. She hadn't been listening to it, and it had fallen on the ground, so that meant it was fair game, yes? Didn't matter that it had that girl's name engraved on it. Charlotte probably would have spit in her face anyway. It was fun to watch people get all grossed out.

But the booty dancing in the street had ended with the skirt on the asphalt and her bright green panties shining in the moonlight. That had been her cue to gather her skirt up, hold it around her waist and skip across the street, humming along to the Katy Perry song she'd just lost her skirt too.

She'd been headed to the park - specifically the playground. She'd seen Dean a few times since he'd been in town, but she'd found (in her knapsack of shit she'd stolen from her childhood home) a polaroid she'd snapped of herself laying next to Dean during the day while he was asleep. She'd been five or six at the time, and he'd been her very, very best friend. You could tell in the way her smile lit up the whole polaroid. The other one she had was them together when he was actually awake. She'd somehow or other gotten him to smile (she'd been very disappointed when she found he couldn't be tickled). But Charlotte had spent all the years he'd been gone smiling at that picture of her in his arms, both of them smiling.

She hadn't cared that he was a vampire, or that he was older than her (like way older than her). He'd been her best friend, and they'd laughed and had wonderful adventures. And she was so glad that he was back in town so that fun could start again.

"Dean!" she called out once she got to the playground, "Deaaaaaan!" She dropped her little bag of stuff and climbed up the ladder onto the playground and crawled over to where the tunnel was, laying down so her head was just next to his, "Hey vampy. Eaten yet? Guess not. It's just now sundown. You know you could live in my tent if you want. We could probably dig you a lil place to go to ground. Oh! I brought you something! You'll love it."

[myeyesmysoulmyhead-blog]

Visit Original Link

[charlotte-valensky]

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head. You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath. And you think I'm crazy, well that's not fair.

[forceawakens]

Visit Original Link

[charlotte-valensky]

I own a mansion but live in a house. King sized bed, but I sleep on the couch.

[charlotte-valensky]

World's Best Dumb Looking Wiener || Charlotte & Finn

"She was asking for it! I was going to give her a quarter!!" she yelled to the man who had a grip on her arm and was escorting her out of the laundromat. She'd been caught trying to stick her stuff into someone else's dryer. She pulled a quarter out of her pocket and flashed it at the man, "See! Shiny quarter that I was gonna give that bitch but then she started yelling and she deserved to have her face chewed off!"

"Yeah, go do your bath salts somewhere else," the man told her as he shoved her out the door and then threw her slop of wet clothes into her arms.

"Hey! Zombies were eating flesh long before bath salts became a thing and I find it degrading tha-" she started to rant, leaning to keep her face in the crack of the door as it closed. But then it was closed and she simply huffed at the door before pushing all her wet clothes into one arm and then turned, pulled down her shorts and pressed her bare ass against the glass of the door. "TAKE THAT MUSCLE MAN!" she yelled before yanking her pants up and taking off as he came back towards the door.

She ran until she was well into the woods on the path towards her little tent. She'd stopped for about a minute to just walk and catch her breath when she caught sight of her tent moving off in the distance. She'd been ready to go bite more faces off when she saw that it was Finn that was rummaging around her little camp. "Finny!" she yelled, raising a hand to wave as she took off running again.

She dropped her mess of wet clothes onto the table she'd stolen from some store and then ran and jumped up into Finn's arms. "You realize it's been like a full ten hours since we've seen each other??" she asked, her dark amber eyes widening as she gazed at him. Her hands then clapped to his face and she squished it, "That's too long Finny." She then wrapped her arms around his head and held it to her chest under her chin and let out a sigh, content to stay right there in his arms as she continued on her little conversation, "So, where have you been? What have you been up to? Break in anywhere interesting? I just got thrown out of the laundromat."

[incantamento]

[gael-garcia]

[breathtakingwomen]

[thebloodofoxford]

Charlotte Valensky || 24 years old || Human || FC: Aubrey Plaza

Traits

(+) Adaptable, Plucky, Quick-Witted (-) Belligerent, Compulsive, Obstinate

Personality

If you were to be told that there was a girl out there who’s best friends through her entire life were Dean Wesley and then Finn Sanders, that would be enough description for what her mental state should be, right? If that weren’t enough, would adding that she was almost sent to the looney bin when she was only eight years old help? Well, all of these things are true. And all of these things are true about Charlotte Valensky. 

Charlotte is a girl that is more often than not seen wearing zombie make up. And if it isn’t zombie make up, then she’s probably wearing Finn’s boxers like they’re actual shorts. Whether or not it’s due to the fact that she literally raised herself in a ditch or just that she was treated like she was insane in the brain by the people who gave her life; she ended up being pretty crazy. She was often sent to the principal’s office for biting people (most of the time on the face) and therefore didn’t make friends very easily. Mostlly because she was satisfied with whatever one friend she had at the time.

Charlotte is definitely not the kind of person to hold down more than three friends at a time - simply because it’s exhausting. And because there aren’t many people in the world that appreciate or understand her unique brand of sarcastic pessimism. 

Biography

At the age of seven, Charlotte was already harboring a vampire under her bed. It’s true. After being out past her curfew, Charlotte found a man laid out in one of the tunnels of the playground she frequented. Without a word, she’d simply crawled atop him and laid there chatting away about how the tunnel wasn’t the comfiest spot on the playground. She’d offered to show him the other spot, but he’d explained that he was in the tunnel to stay out of the sun. And when he’d gone on to tell her (probably trying to scare her) that he was a vampire, she’d simply rolled over atop him and proceeded to (literally) poke him. “bite me. bite me. deaaaan, bite me”. This routine continued for about a month before he finally told her that he wouldn’t; but perhaps he would when she was older.

When Charlotte told her parents of her new friend, they simply thought he was imaginary. This would be better than how they would react to her next encounter with the supernatural.

Charlotte doesn’t remember much about her parents. That’s not to say that they were bad parents or anything. In fact, they loved their little girl in the best way that they knew how. But when, at the age of eight, Charlotte came home screaming of a monster she’d seen in the woods, her parents didn’t exactly know what to do. They tried to tell their daughter that the monster was just a figment of her imagination, but she wouldn’t let it go.

Deeming that their child had gone insane and that they simply couldn’t handle it anymore, they decided to send her to a “hospital”, which Charlotte was old enough to understand meant “looney bin”. Refusing, Charlotte grabbed the teddy bear that Dean had given her and she ran off. While her parents expected her to come back sooner or later, Charlotte had decided something very different. She’d gone straight to the train tracks and sat down atop them, clinging tightly to the teddy bear Dean had given her, determined that she would rather die than be sent to the looney bin.

She wouldn’t die that night, though. For as she sat there, she eventually heard a voice that would soon come to be her favorite. It was Finn Sanders. And, in his own goofy way, he talked her “off the edge”. With this new friend in her life, Charlotte was determined that she could figure this out. And - yes, at eight years old - she went and figured it out. This meant she lived in a ditch for a long time. And only recently has upgraded to a tent that she threw together with a sheet in the woods.

She spends relatively little time there, however, and is almost always found on Finn’s back. Literally, she rides around piggy back on Finn like it’s going out of damn style. And she also firmly believes that he’s her soulmate and that the only reason they aren’t married is because they’re both broke and because it’s more fun to seduce him and then deny him than anything else. Honestly if they ever got married, she’d just divorce him just to marry him again. She also just likes to steal his boxers and socks.

Charlotte Valensky is TAKEN

[thedouble]