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@chauncytoc
TEXT 💌 BETCY
Chauncy: Is now a good time to talk, cher? I have a few things regarding our previous encounter that I'd like to discuss, but if it's a bad time, we can try again later.
Beth: Right now’s great with me. What’s up, Buttercup?
Chauncy: Fantastique. I just wanted to touch base about something you said during. I apologize for being blunt, but do you recall dropping the love bomb?
Beth: No????? I don’t remember saying it at all?? I don’t really remember saying like anything during it? ALSO CAN WE STOP CALLING IT THE LOVE BOMB?
Chauncy: You don't? Because I definitely heard you say it and I envy your ability to forget about it because it's been playing in my head since. And yes, of course we can stop calling it that. I'm mostly wondering about why that came out of you at all, but if you don't remember it, I'm not sure what all can be gleaned from this.
Beth: No! But I literally say I love you like all the time and I’m sure I’ve said it several times since we’ve slept together? So if it came out while we were doing it, it was probably just a reflex or something because it’s you.
Chauncy: I know it's not a new phrase for us, but I don't know, it felt new, possibly because of the very new setting. Or maybe because no one has ever said that to me during. But either way, it was confusing. Do you think you have any control over what you say during?
Beth: I have control over what I say during! I’m not like…dickmatized into just saying whatever. I just wasn’t paying attention since it’s just you, I guess. I’m sorry about being confusing though! I’ll keep that out of my mouth from now on 🤐 unless it was WAY too much and you want to just stop?
Chauncy: Okay, well, way to take my ego down a peg 😋 I absolutely 100% do NOT want to stop this. I almost didn't message you about this at all just in case you thought I was complaining or wanting to end things in any way, actually. I just thought saying "I love you" might be on the same level of kissing during and we have that one outlawed for a reason, you know? Why? Do YOU want to stop? Because if you were hoping to be dickmatized (a truly horrible phrase, by the way) and haven't been able to be distracted from the fact that its "just me", I would recommend giving me another shot or two before deciding, but I'd understand.
Beth: Did you not know that’s already my mission in life? 😘 But yeah, you’re completely correct. “I love you” is absolutely on the same level of kissing and it’s entirely on me for not thinking of it when we came up with our rules. I 100% don’t want to stop either. At no point was I under any impression that you would be capable of dickmatizing (I know but I can’t think of a better way to put it) me into that kind of distraction, but I don’t mind that it’s just you lol?
Chauncy: Yes, but bringing it into the bedroom is a new level of below the belt, literally 🤨 Okay, good to have that settled! Although if you ever change your mind on the kissing front, I'm very open to that discussion. Good, because this is already one of the best arrangements I've ever had and if it weren't suspicious, I'd suggest we go on a vacation for two, but alas. You didn't think I could dickmatize you? You do realize that your saying that only makes me want to prove you wrong, yes?
Beth: I think you’ll live! 🤔 Same. I doubt I’ll change my mind on that, especially after this conversation but I’ll keep in mind that you’re open to the discussion. How many fwb arrangements HAVE you had btw? Is it really suspicious? I think TPotts and Lark would understand if we did something without them after she brought DRUGS to the AirBNB. Nope! You’re a very skilled sex friend but I wouldn’t say you’re dickmatizing level skilled. I’m aware 🙂
Chauncy: You're probably right, I'm very tough, you know 🏋🏽♂️ This conversation wasn't that bad, was it? Being intimate with each other is about more than being naked together, after all, it's about having the talks that we need to have. I haven't had THAT many, but I mostly meant I'm not surprised this is already so great with you. Everything's great with you. I'm sure Lark still doesn't think drugs were that bad of a move, and Timothee was begging for attention like a dog with scraps like he always does, but if you think they would understand? I'd love to have a getaway, and not just because multiple days of having you all to myself will give me all the time I need to dickmatize you to hell and back 😇
Beth: You’re. Very. Tough. That’s definitely something I know about you. 🤥 No, not at all! It was a very good conversation that just reminded me to be more careful with this. I’m not surprised either though! We really make such an excellent team, it’s kind of nice to know our amazing partnership extends to more physical activities. I’m sure she doesn’t either but it’s not like we’d really have to tell them that we’re leaving them behind? They could just…figure it out for themselves? Have I ever told you that I really admire how highly you think of yourself, Chauncy? It’s truly inspirational.
Chauncy: What else do you know about me? 😇 You know, I actually didn't mind it but I know we had a ban on ambiguously emotional tidbits is all; all I know is that whatever helps us keep this going as seamlessly as possible is what I want to do. it is nice to know, I always thought we'd be good at this sort of thing together, and I love being right. Mademoiselle Bellefeuille, are you suggesting we ditch our friends without letting them know? Have I told you recently that I love the way you think? And I know you're just being facetious but you could stand to tell me that more often 😏 but of course, you can also hold back on the compliments until after the Dickmatization, because you're going to have a lot of them.
Beth: I know that you’re an idiot? 🤗 You said “I envy your ability to forget about it since it’s been playing in my head since.” it sounds like you minded it quite a bit? You always thought we’d be good at sleeping with each other? How often did you think about it before now? Perhaps…You don’t have an issue with it, do you, Monsieur Toc? You haven’t, but you could stand tell that more often as well! 😋 Will I though? Will I really?
Chauncy: Do you know that you've just broken my heart? 😟 I didn't say I minded it, just that I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it; it had gotten very distracting is all, having that on a loop in my head. I don't want to sound like a pervert so I plead the fifth on that one. I have no issues with sneaking off on our own, absolutely none whatsoever 😘 Showing is more effective than telling, in my experience.
Beth: I did not know that! But I suspect you’ll live regardless. 🧐 That sounds exactly like you minded it, but alright. I think we’re well past the point in our friendship where sounding like a pervert isn’t really much of a problem. Fantastic! Where should we go then? Same here, so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if you’re actually capable of dickmatization. I kind of want to bet on it but how would we even know?
Chauncy: I'm not sure that I will, actually. I'll start penning my last will and testament just in case. What would you like to be left, cher? ✍ I minded it only in the sense that it completely took over my mind, but alright. And you say that but if you knew how often I've thought of you in that way, it might change your mind. I don't know; we could go anywhere really, I don't exactly plan on letting you leave the bedroom if I can help it, so the locale doesn't much matter to me. Do you have any preferences? Why bet on it? Why not just lay back and enjoy it?
Beth: Well then, if you’re that easy to get rid of, I call dibs on all of your things. Except your pants and underwear because I can’t think of how I’d be able to use them or your socks because I’m still traumatized bu the implication that you’ve done unspeakable things to them. Why did it take over your mind if you didn’t mind it then? I didn’t mind it to the point that I don’t even recall saying it. Perhaps but now I’m curious! How often have you thought of me sexually!? Considering I wasn’t exactly planning on trying to leave the bedroom, I don’t have any preferences either. So we really could just get a hotel room somewhere and have at it for a few days. Because I like to win and I like holding said wins over your head? But I guess just laying back and enjoying it would be pretty do-able too.
Chauncy: Oh, you won't be rid of me per se, my ghost will of course choose to stay with you for all of eternity. I can't believe that after all the things our bodies have been through together, the thought of me masturbating with socks (which isn't a unique experience to me, by the by) causes you such turmoil. I don't know, like I said before, no one has ever said that to me during sex before, and your voice sounded so pretty saying it; you know how drawn I am to the beautiful moments of life, I guess my brain just took a snapshot of it and displayed it prominently in the gallery of my memories. You not remembering makes sense, since I'm sure you've said that loads of times in the act before. I've thought of you in that way a lot, I don't know how to quantify it! I'm around you quite often and you're probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life, it comes up! I know a few bed and breakfasts that have some luxurious beds and gorgeous vintage vibes, maybe we could go somewhere like that? If you figure out a way to bet on it, let me know and I happily will. I'm not concerned about whether or not I'll be able to deliver.
Beth: Your ghost would chose to hang around what killed you? How sad. For you. Because they’re socks! I know you’re not the only man in the world to have ever done it, but you’re you and I expect you to be better than a sock shagger! Oh okay. Anyway, a bed and breakfast would be so adorable and such a great way to end winter vacation! Pick your fave and we can go as soon as possible. I’m still brainstorming but I’ll get back to you on that.
Chauncy: Only if what killed me was you. Or the Louvre, somehow. Under either of those circumstances, it wouldn't be sad to haunt my killer one bit -- it might be a bit sad for you though, since I'd be sure to make your life just a tad bit inconvenient where I could, just so you couldn't forget me, obviously 😇 I've been inside far more human beings than I have socks if that's any comfort? Fantastique! I have a list of bed and breakfasts I've been dying to shag in but right off the top of my head, I know this one that has a geodesic dome ceiling so that we can gaze up at the never-ending cosmos as we fuck each other senseless. It also offers a hearty breakfast which we will most certainly need.
Beth: I think if you haunted me and did nothing but make my life more inconvenient, that would be an absolute terrible way to make me remember you, considering the fact that in life you only ever seem to make my life just a tad bit better. 🥺 I have no idea how many human beings you’ve been inside, so not really. A geodesic dome ceiling sounds like a huge security risk, so maybe save that one for the next fwb? What else is on the list?
Chauncy: Ah but see, it would make you miss the way things used to be, and make Alive Chauncy seem like an even better version of myself by comparison. Of course, I'd rather live by your side than float around dead at your side, so the choice is yours 😊 Well, I don't think I've known a sock intimately since I started having sex with humans, and that has got to count for something. A security risk how? Do you think people are going to fly drones up overhead? Or spy from helicopters? But okay, another dream location is this one in New Orleans. Its dubbed the most colorful bed and breakfast in the world and has a breakfast buffet to die for.
Beth: Or it will annoy me so much that I eventually get my favorite person in the world exorcised and I’ll feel nothing but sweet relief at his absence. But I prefer you next to me instead of the sweet hereafter as well, so I suppose you’ll be allowed to live. 😒 It does not. You’ve still known a sock intimately. I don’t know! I just think a princess probably shouldn’t have a ridiculous amount of sex directly under a giant window unless she WANTS to join the ranks of Tatiana and Silvester! I love New Orleans and that sounds cute, so let’s do that one.
Chauncy: Thank you, my princess, for your blessed allowance to continue living alongside you, for it is sweeter than any heaven could ever be 💕 what's the difference between knowing a sock intimately and a sex toy intimately? You're being awfully judgemental for someone I've gotten off many times by now, you know. It's not a giant window, it's a dome, it's tall! I'd hate for us to have a sex tape (a leaked one, anyway) and I'm excited for the New Orleans one as well so let's do it! I'll place a reservation now.
Beth: You’re so very welcome! I know!😌 The difference is one is a sock and one is a sex toy, obviously? Sex toys are made FOR that purpose, socks are made for feet! Oh do you owe all your sexual prowess to the socks? My mistake! A clear dome! People get sex tapes leaked via drones! Remember the Ariel and Eric pictures!!? (We’re not making any kind of sex tape.) Okay wonderful!
Chauncy: 🙄 Some people use feet for sex, you know, and others would say that a sex toy is anything you use for the purposes of finishing. But I'll drop it for now, since having written proof that you think I have sexual prowess is more interesting than arguing what ought and ought not to be used intimately. How could I forget? That was a cultural reset. (I'm guessing artistic nudes are out of the question too, then?) Fantastique!
Beth: If this is your way of informing me that you have a foot fetish, don’t. And I would say that a sex toy is literally a sex toy and not something repurposed for sex because it doesn’t change the item’s original intent. Is it really that interesting? Obviously I think you have sexual prowess, you’ve gotten me off more times than I’m willing to attempt to count. It was not a cultural reset, it was probably so humiliating for their family! (Maybe not, but only if you don’t include my face)
Chauncy: Don't worry, I don't; feet actually gross me out and I only brought it up for the sake of argument. Good to know your definition of that; on that note, are there any sex toys you'd like to incorporate into our time together? This getaway would be a good time to pull something out, especially since we don't have to be as quiet as we had to be during the trip with the other two. And a man will never tire of hearing that he's good in bed, or at least, I never will. They handled the situation with class. (Your face is my favorite face in the entire world but I can certainly agree to those terms. Your body is so beautiful, I'd be honored.)
Beth: GOOD!!! Uhhh I don’t really know anything about sex toys so I don’t uh know? Like I think if there was ever a time to finally see what the big deal is, it would definitely be this getaway but I don’t know what would be like..helpful with you? Of course you won’t but I do worry how many times I could tell you something like that without your head eventually expanding to the point that you can no longer walk though doorways. They did but still! (You can look at my face as much as you want in person or in pictures where I’m fully clothes. But thank you 😊)
Chauncy: Really, you don't? I don't know why that surprises me so much but it really does. I don't think we NEED anything other than each other but I figured I'd ask. The doorways in the castle are wide, at least, so that isn't too big a concern for me. I understand; nothing like the scandal that happened to Queen Ariel and King Eric will ever happen to us, I promise. (Don't think I won't. No, thank YOU. I'm more excited at the prospect of artful nudes than any art project has made me for a hot minute.
INSTAROYAL: @chauncytoc UPLOADED A PHOTO!
La meilleure des vues 🌊🖤 @bethbellefeuille #2022 #beachday
↳ VIEW ALL COMMENTS
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Oh that’s brilliant actually! A check in period every second friday is a good well distanced period of time to do…what we want while still being mindful of our feelings! I don’t think I like a no questions asked code word though? I feel like I’d probably want to thoroughly discuss any reason why one of us would want to end the agreement? You’re making total sense to me, I think, so don’t worry about it.
Chauncy: Every second Friday it is! And okay, that's fair; in my mind a "no questions asked" is meant to minimize the awkwardness but part of why it being us is so perfect is that we're good at communication and we deserve the closure whenever this does end so that we can move on to the same sort of friendship we've always had. Speaking of our longstanding friendship traditions, are cuddles too intimate or confusing in any way?
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Oh good point! Um I don’t know? When one or both of us gets tired of it or something?
Chauncy: Can I suggest a check-in period? Like for example every second Friday, or whenever, we can come together and decide that either we want to sign on for the next check-in period or if we want to end it. And maybe we should also have a code word that, if we say it at any time, we drop the agreement altogether, no questions asked? Or is that too convoluted? I feel like I'm not making as much sense as I could be, my excitement is making simpleton of me.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Those rules are great! But for the record, I can HANDLE kissing on the mouth, I’m just not good at coming up with these kinds of things, so I’m trying to come up with rules that will keep things from getting a little too intimate without hurting our preexisting bond. An exclusivity rule is great. I’ll be trying to avoid focusing on other people anyway and we can just end this if you decide that you want to hook up with anyone else.
Chauncy: It was a good rule. I do like kissing but you're right, it might get a little too "blurred lines" if we go there. That actually does raise the question for me though, when should we end it? Because I don't NEED to find other people to hook up with, and that puts the onus entirely on me to end it, and I'd rather it be a mutual decision.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Yeah, why not! That’s an excellent place to start. I would prefer NOT to imagine Lark and T hearing anything about this, so I couldn’t agree more! Um maybe to avoid getting any lines crossed we could go all Pretty Woman rules and not kiss on the mouth? Or something like that?
Chauncy: Okay then, Rule 1 -- discretion is of the utmost importance. If kissing on the mouth isn't something that you can handle then okay, I don't have issues taking it off the table. Rule 2 -- no mouth kissing. I think we alluded to this but since we're making the rules official, maybe the third could have something to do with exclusivity? That way you don't accidentally focus on somebody else and we don't have to worry about external distractions.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: I think that sounds really good and maybe something we should talk about this in earnest then? It doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all, in fact it sounds like the best thing that could’ve possibly ever come from a break up as awful as this one.
Chauncy: Really? Good! Well then, I declare us officially discussing it in earnest then, starting now! We could start by suggesting boundaries to come up with some rules. I'll start. I think that the longevity and integrity of this collaboration would be best protected by some privacy? I mean, can you imagine Lark or T getting wind of this?
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: I don’t know? ARE we talking about this in earnest or in theory? We’re both highly invested in each other’s general happiness, you’re no stranger to this kind of situation apparently and if we came up with a comprehensive list of rules and conditions, I’m sure our friendship would make it through with minimal friction.
Chauncy: I'm positive our friendship would make it through anything unscathed, this included. We're too strong to be weakened or altered by something as small in the grand scheme of life as a temporary friends with benefit moment. So, if we ARE talking about this in earnest, first of all, I want you to know that I love you very much, and I value our friendship so much, and you mean much much more to me than your beauty and your body. Second of all, I love a set of comprehensive rules and conditions for anything and if we had that for this? I'd be in if you were. And if you're just talking about this in theory, disregard all of that.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: You're an excellent faker then, your advice sounds like it will work. And if it doesn't I'll have something to lord over you for the rest of our lives and that cheers me up just as much! Hmm well, if I was engaging in that with YOU, it would be incredibly convenient and with those...needs sated I would definitely be less inclined to wind up dating another "popcorn boy"...
Chauncy: It's only 20% faking, I promise, but if my hubris results in a downfall which results in your amusement, then that's a win-win for me as well; that's how much your happiness means to me. Anything where you're less inclined to find another Popcorn Boy sounds like a victory... and I'm certainly no stranger to friends with benefit type situations so if anyone could help you through one to give your heart a much needed break, it'd be me. Are we talking about this in earnest or in theory? I need to know before I say anything else and risk sounding like an utter horndog.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: I’m truly the luckiest there is ❤️❤️❤️ You’re good at so many things! But it’s not exactly expected that you’d be a pro at emotions when you refuse to participate in the the actual emotional part of romance, but I appreciate your help more than words can say! Well, my primary love language is physical touch so…that would be kind of weird wouldn’t it?
Chauncy: Fair enough. Perhaps a tad of it is some "fake it till you make it" confidence in my own advice, but it will work for you, I promise. Well.. my primary love language is ALSO physical touch. So. It'd either be very very weird or very very not. And if I was engaging in that with YOU, I wouldn't feel the need to seek it out with others, so that part of it would be a non-issue.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Cuddles and ice cream sound so much easier but I’m sure you’re right. You’re right about a lot actually, how on earth are you so good at coming down from a break up? You’ve never even had one. I meant it in a flattering way, of course. You are the only one I can think of that’s worthy of all the romantic attentions in the world, except you don’t believe in love and The One and therefore wouldn’t make it anything more than a distraction. The only problem is that you’re You and it would be weird.
Chauncy: Well, lucky for you, you get cuddles and ice cream too ❤️ I'm good at many things, no need to act surprised. I don't need to have suffered a breakup to know how to move on from pain, and sharing that knowledge with my brave hearted friend is the least I can do. Thank you! Or, well, it's 4/5ths of a thank you. The other 1/5th is wondering what would be so weird about it being me?
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Good, it was grossing me out too. But fine, I’ll calm down and stop beating myself up so bad. I know you’re right and it’s not like Orville was was all that likely to be The One anyway. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. A designated person to focus my romantic energies on that I know won’t go anywhere is a concept. But who would even work for something like that? Other than you, probably?
Chauncy: Dieu merci! I'd cuddle you and feed you ice cream for a million years if that's what it took to calm you down but it never hurts to simply start being kinder to oneself. And Orville was definitively NOT The One, he was but a distraction, a weird loud annoying distraction. I know it hurts but when you do find The One, if that even exists, you'll just be glad Popcorn Boy ended as quickly as it did because that's all the sooner you'd meet the real thing. Well, I don't know, cher, I don't know everyone in the school, but thank you, I think? I'm possibly flattered?
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: Yes! Because it is partially my own fault for being too busy looking in a boy’s eyes to notice the giant snot bubble forming! I’m trying to stop blaming myself but the realities are too clear to ignore! Like I know love is art and beautiful and wonderful and the most important thing in the whole entire world, but if me just SAYING it is enough to send my boyfriend literally running maybe I do overuse it?? You don’t know who might secretly hate me! A break from searching for the one? I’m not sure how to do that? Literally my first thought seeing that was that I’ll probably find The One when I least expect it, so a break would be the LEAST expected time so it’s basically like I’m still looking.
Chauncy: Okay, this mucus metaphor is making me sick to my stomach so let's drop it, but my point is you're being way harsher on yourself than you would be on anyone else, so take a breath, cher. Can art or beauty be overused? The answer is of course not, it's just that some people can't handle it. And your EX-boyfriend was an idiot, he doesn't count. I don't know, Beth, maybe pick a designated person to focus your romantic energies on that you know won't go anywhere with it?
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: It's my problem for having my sleeve out there and available for anyone to blow on and being too stupid to pull out of the way in time! I'm sure you'll pick something I'll love..no like, maybe I say love too much? I don't think there's anyone exempt from the ability to find The One, everyone has The One! But I don't know maybe mine died or hates me? A break from what?
Chauncy: So you're choosing to victim-blame the owner of the sleeve and not the snotty offender? Is that it? I know it's easy to be unkind to yourself when you're sad but as your best friend, I have sworn a strict oath to protect your honor from anyone who might have a negative word about you so stop blaming yourself before I have to protect your honor from yourself! I'm not even sure how to DO that! You don't say love too much, love is art, and it's beautiful. Being loving is a common trait amongst artists and readers and dreamers. Nobody hates you and people don't simply die around here so that can't be it. And I don't know, a break from searching for The One? You have all the time in the world to find somebody.
TEXT ✨ BETCY
Beth: I don’t have anyone else to ask though. So it's clearly my problem! What good is having my heart on my sleeve when people just use it to blow their noses on!? good, so you can pick the ice cream flavor? I don't know what I want anyway other than to be less sad. It's really not that impossible, there are only so many times I can keep dating the wrong people before I'm forced to grapple with the fact that I just might be the wrong person! Relationships in general are never the problem, so many other people are succeeding just fine!
Chauncy: It absolutely is not, and this metaphor is a great example as to why -- someone blowing their nose on your sleeve is not YOUR problem, it is the fault of whoever is ignorant and uncouth enough to blow their nose on a sleeve at all. I'll get a few different flavor options, including coffee and hazelnut, but if you have ANY preferences, let me know. Beth, you have a very romantic heart, so I doubt you believe there's anyone on this planet exempt from the ability to find The One. Why would you be the exception for that? Maybe you just need to take a break?
TEXT 🏝 LARCY
Lark: Same difference. But if she's so far out of his league, isn't it for the best that he ended it now instead of letting her drag him down the isle later? Calm the intensity, Chomper. He shouldn't have to DIE for not loving Beth back fhjjd. Ugh I know I know, but a girl can dream can't she? It would be so much more fun than the ice cream and romcom sobfest this trip is going to end up being now. He's in a Mamma Mia mood so I'm sure he'll be more into the beach idea than we already are.
Chauncy: Geniesearch says three months is the average time people bust out the L word so it being four months and not one is super relevant but okay. Of course it's better that she didn't get shackled to Popcorn Boy but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt her right now. This is why I don't do the relationship thing at all, but she's Beth, she's not going to let a little heartbreak stop her from falling for new people. I never said he should DIE, but maybe a small injury could be good. I actually think its more respectful of her friends to NOT dream about Beth in that context if they can help it, but that's just me. Don't worry, I'll do my best to make sure the wallowing is limited to BEFORE the trip, especially since I'm already helping her with that. No promises but here's hoping she'll be in a better mood by the time we check in. A Mamma Mia mood? Of all the Meryl Streep movies? Do we live in a world where The Devil Wears Prada doesn't exist?