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@chchchchanya
14. 2018 taught me...
Strength. Resilience. Kindness. Love. Family. Death.
This is a statue of Nelson Mandela, given to the Palestinians by the country of South Africa to show solidarity with the Palestinian struggle against Zionist Israel. It represents so much and has been guiding me all year...
13 Comfort
I was going to put a picture of me laying on the couch watching food tv, but I remembered how much comfort I get traveling with my family. I always feel safe, happy, and calm when I’m having fun traveling with Mama and Hanadi.
2018 December Reflections
12. Best Meal of 2018
Yes, it’s going to be an Arab dish my mom made - Laban Immo.
11. Blue
Not sure why the Empire State Building was blue, but it’s beautiful, it’s New York, and I love it.
2018 December Reflections
10. Biggest challenge of 2018.
Losing Baba.
Though this will be a challenge for the rest of my life, it has still been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Accept that he’s gone. Accept that nothing will ever be the same, that I won’t be the same. It’s been hard enjoying my life since he passed. I struggle with finding happiness in things that have always brought me joy and things I wanted to find joy in.
My graduation felt like nothing without him. Passing the licensing exam without his smile congratulating me felt unreal. Traveling, getting a new job, figuring out my career has felt numb and just “going through the motions.” Like I’m just floating but not living.
I know he wants me to be happy, find joy in life, and pursue my dreams. But Baba, how can I without you? You were my biggest fan...what am I to do?
I’m learning to find happiness and love again. It’s hard and it takes a lot of therapy sessions and energy everyday, but I’m doing it. Just for him. Just for Baba.
9. Shadows
2018 December Reflections
8. Surprise
Passing the social work license exam was a huge surprise, especially passing during such a sad and tumultuous time. My dad had passed away, I had to finish grad school and internship, I was stressed, overwhelmed, and had only a week to study for it. I felt exhausted, unmotivated, and just defeated. So when this exam came up, I had low expectations. I knew if I failed, I’d be able to take it again in 3 months and though it would delay me finding a job, I became resolved with it.
But then I passed. I couldn’t believe it. I cried. I screamed. I knew Baba was with me. Again, I could not believe it. I was proud though and I knew baba would be too. I still don’t know how I did it, but I did.
2018 December Reflections
7. Home
Three homes:
- New York City
- Ramallah
- San Francisco
6. Best Book of 2018
I haven’t read many new books this year, but I read this one for the first time and was very moved. So this was the best book I read in 2018.
2018 December Reflections
5. 5 Things About Me
1) I play the alto saxophone
2) I have anxiety and depression
3) I wish I had a brutish accent...or any accent
4) I hate driving
5) I will always be a California Girl
2018 December Reflections
A little late on this one...
2. Favorite picture of 2018
Baba and I. There are so many pictures I could have chosen but this is the only one I had to pick. I miss you everyday Baba. I love you so much. ❤️
4. Best Decision of 2018
Going to Paris with my family right after a tough few months.
December Reflections 2018
3. Orange
December 2018 Reflections
This is literally butternut squash that I mashed and puréed for my homemade ravioli. That’s all. Hahahaha
Morning Light.
December Reflections 2018
I miss doing monthly photography challenges and being reflective on my year. But this year has been really tough and I’m not ready to be so open to the world. I figured I’d do this December photo challenge on Tumblr since not many people I know follow here and I won’t be adding hashtags for many to see. It’ll be a relatively safe place for me. I hope.
Homemade brunch! The pancakes are dairy free with almond milk and zero eggs. The compote has blueberries and peaches from @lancasterfarmfresh. This are the fluffiest pancakes I’ve ever made and didn’t cost $20. 😋 #sizzlewithhanizzle #pancakes #fruitcompote #brunch #homemade #cooking #food #nyccooking #peaches #blueberries #CSA #lancasterfarmfresh #hellayummy #foodstagram #foodforfoodies #foodphotography #foodpics (at New York, New York)
Harlem Sky