Music is the bridge between Heaven and Earth @chelbasaur - Tumblr Blog

Thank heavens you're back :)

I hope this doesn't come across as like super creepy but I like telling people when I dreamt about them and I had a dream about you.

Please tell me about it! If you remember it. I'm sure I'm replying literal years later.

But damn, someone dreaming about you is insanely flattering haha 🥰

You being back is the best news I've gotten all year! 😘

Six years later I reply to you 😥😥😥

Shit, six years flew by. This made me smile, though. 💕🥰

Thank you 🥹

Well I'm glad you're coming back. If you ever need a friend, I am always here with an open ear and will gladly help you hide the body.

I appreciate this very much :) I always need a friend. I am yet again burned. I'm afraid I'll die aloooooooone 🥺

As time passed without a post, the more concerned I grew that you ran into a situation you described. So happy you were able to extricate yourself from it. From what I've seen bouncing around the interwebs, it would seem that most men who would be open to fucking you how you want would either be: the type you described; or think they could be what you want but hesitant to actually take that step. I hope someday you find a genuinely caring fuck-monster. Until then, enjoy fueling our fantasies.

I haven't found precisely what I wanted, but I've come pretty damn close. I'm just very guarded. I've been so deeply heartbroken and while it wasn't always this way, I can't have sex with someone I don't have feelings for/am in love with. And it's scary telling men what I'm into sexually because most men aren't into that kind of stuff, or if they are, they seem to all to commonly be false Doms that just view you as an object in all aspects, instead of just when their cock is in you. I want to be told what to do, what to wear, etc all the time, but still be treated kindly and feel whole--other than when getting fucked. That's a hard thing to find because you also have to actually build a life with them haha. I want to serve a man. Wake him up each morning by gagging on his cock and make sure he has a full belly and a clean home each and every day kinda thing. I thought I had it quite recently, but he was unable to let go of what his ex did to him and constantly accused me of cheating. Even though I am still deeply in love with him, he just walked away because he couldn't see me for who I am. He would consistently accuse me of what his ex did to him. She cheated on him for years in their own house with dozens of men, quite a few of them his close friends. It's his own insecurities and cowardice that got in the way. He doesn't realize his value, so I could never possibly only want him, right? I tried for months and months to make him feel special. I wrote him cute notes all the time, even bought him flowers, sent him commitments each and every day, and would tell him a different thing I loved about him each and every day, among other things he told me made him feel loved. But it wasn't enough. He's a decade older than me so I'm scared he'll die alone as he's 41. He told me I was his last try and he's glad it was me. I feel like he was my last try too. We'll see ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Celibacy until that day comes! 🙃🥺😖

Tell me something inspirational?

People will always show you, not tell you--who they are. There are genuine beautiful people in the world, the ones that have a beautiful soul and disposition, and I'm sure you know plenty. Always appreciate them, because they will always be there for you. I know a few, and it's the light in my life. I hope that was what you were looking for :/

You STILL make my dick rock hard every time I think of you. I wish you had a premium Snapchat or did cam shows. You'd be fucking rich, I guarantee it.

I just simply don't have the confidence or the moral predication for it. I'm so modest compared to the last time I was on here. Growing up, I guess? But I really do appreciate your words, even though it's raunchy haha.

When I heard Tumblr was changing my first thought was to rush to your wall and save every cute n sexy picture I could find of you before they're gone. You're so unbelievably attractive. I've had dreams of us going on a lovely date downtown. awkward hand holds, getting doors for you, a cute kiss here and there.. which turns into butt grabs and hair pulls.

I wish I knew when you sent me this. I haven't been on here in what, 5-6 years? I'm not an exhibitionist in the slightest but I guess that's kinda the point lmao

Lol. You got me. I'm all "where are you" and then I disappear. Oops. Hi 👋🏻

I disappeared for like six years so I don't hold a grudge 😜

Mind if I reblog your photos?

48, 65, 89

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

I'm wearing a forest green hoodie🤓

65. Did anything "cute" happen in the past week?

Well, four different guys wrote notes to me with their phone numbers at work. Somewhat awkward, but flattering and cute nonetheless. 🙃

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

I have mostly wavy hair with several spiral curls in it. A couple of years ago I started taking care of it/styling it properly so none of the pictures on here show my actual hair texture. Soon! 👩🏻‍🦰

celadon-city

ASK ME THINGS

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

7. What does your last received text say?

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

9. Where was your last kiss at?

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

11. What do you drink in the morning?

12. Where did you sleep last night?

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

20. Does anyone like you?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

25. In the past week have you cried?

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

29. Do you think you’re old?

30. Do you like text messaging?

31. What type of day are you having?

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

37. What song are you listening to?

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? 41. When did you last receive a text message? 42. What is wrong with you right now? 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? 44. Does anyone disgust you? 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? 46. Are you in a good mood right now? 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? 48. What color shirt are you wearing? 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? 53. Do you like rain? 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 56. Do you like to cuddle? 57. Are you shy? 58. Do you get along with girls? 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? 60. What do you carry with you at all times? 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? 73. Do you like diet soda? 74. What color are the walls in your room? 75. Are you 16 or older? 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? 77. Do you have a job? 78. What are your initials? 79. Did you ever have braces? 80. Are you from the south?

81. What does your last status on facebook say? 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 86. Do you smoke? 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? 88. Is your phone touch screen? 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 92. Have you ever made out in a car? 93. …Had sex in a car? 94. Are you single or in a relationship? 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

2complx-deactivated20161228

ASK ME THESE PLS

chelbasaur

These are always fun

chelbasaur

I'll break the ice with this. It's been what, four or five years? Hi! 🤓

Human beans

You know, it's amazing how fake people are. Like, the time they invest into feeding you bullshit is absolutely amazing.

Seriously, sayings are cliché for a damn good reason. The only person you can ever trust or count on is yourself. People tell you what they think you want to hear if they want your affection or approval or validation, not because they mean it. It's been proven to me entirely too many times to have a different opinion on the matter. When one feels threatened, or they don't get their way, they turn into petty little twats that operate almost solely out of spite or jealousy.

God damnit I hate humans.

Listen to Ethan.

Do you like cum on that pretty face of yours?

No. Get that shit in your eye once and you'll never let it near your face again.

Do you have red pubes too?

Is this honestly still a question people don't know the answer to? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Mermaid hair vibes and kitty socks complete with lil ears ^_^

#im 12 #forever young #redhead #ginger #hi #me

Several of you have asked:

First of all, I'm not naïve to the fact that most of you visit my page for a very particular reason, but I have has several folks over the past day ask/infer about my hiatus. This post is for the latter, and for the former, content is coming! 💗💋

Anywho. I'm not sure how much anyone pays attention to the captions I post to pics, but for those who don't: I was in a relationship for a while about a year and a half ago. It was wonderful in only one regard: sex. I had met someone who jived with me perfectly in that sense. As you may be able to gather, I am into some pretty violent stuff and can really only enjoy sex if it's forced. That's an entirely other story, though. I have had plenty of trouble finding someone that could take it to the level I needed, would be willing to try the things I wanted to try, and wasn't into some weird shit I couldn't handle, and loved eating my asshole for hours. (I haven't found anyone since and man oh man does it suck) But underneath all of that, the guy was a genuine narcissist. Not the colloquial term for a person that is just a dick. The guy hit every bullet point for clinical diagnosis. He truly abused me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically. Now, some of you may think "but....she likes to get hit and treated like shit"

No. There is a line, albeit a very fine one, between rape fantasy and rape. And that line is called consent. Boundaries and limits are set and respected, and the utterance of one single word will make everything stop.

I put up with the manic episodes, the incessant texting, calling, and video calling, being forced to video call on every single lunch and break while at work, on my entire drive home, the entire evening at home after work, etc. The sex was that good, guys. Yes, I am really dumb at times. Not the point.

It was Christmas Eve, and he doesn't have any family so I made the four hour drive to Coos Bay to spend three days with him so he wouldn't be alone. He never let me forget how much he hated that I lived so far away, as you can tell my the constant forced contact. And that is relevant to this story because the entire first day I was there, he watched Netflix on my phone. He stayed up until like 8am while I was sleeping watching it, so of course he slept until 5pm the second day I was there. 2/3 of the very limited time I had was wasted. I was pissed. I asked him why he thought it was appropriate to do that when he never leaves me alone when I'm at home, and I'm only here for three days. He let up, and we spent that night together. I went to bed, and of course, he stayed up all night again. So, it's Christmas Eve. I am entertaining myself the entire day waiting for him to wake up, again. I was pissed, of course, and let him know it. He did not appreciate that. A switch flipped and he grabbed me and tried to suffocate me. He plugged my nose and held his hand over my mouth, not letting me breathe. I screamed as much as I could in between him losing his grip on my mouth and regaining it. He was screaming at me to shut the fuck up in case a neighbor heard me.

I cannot describe the fear I was experiencing. I genuinely thought I was going to die. I honestly don't even know how to explain it, so I won't. What goes through your head when you think you're experiencing your last seconds is indescribable. I don't know if he gave up because he was scared there would be witnesses, or if he actually thought better of it, but he let go of my nose but still held his hand over my mouth and said in my ear "remember, you're only breathing because I let you", slammed my head onto the wooden stairs so hard I nearly went unconscious. I know I didn't pass out, but I was so dazed I just flopped out of his arms to the floor and couldn't move for a good couple minutes. I regained my composure, which took quite some time, packed everything, and left without a word. I remember him saying those last words to me so vividly. The exact tone and inflections, how angry his words sounded. I still, to this day, haven't fully processed what happened to me. I don't present or view myself as a victim, I don't want pity or sympathy.

But I do feel and recognize the effect of it all. I don't think I have a desire to try and get to know someone in the relationship sense again. I've become a recluse, and I would rather be alone than anything else. I stopped hanging out with people, and try to avoid them at all costs. I want to have complete control over my own life. But at the same time, I still crave that violent sex. It's strange.

Aaaaaaaaanyway. Tl;Dr My entire point for that was, that shit really fucked me up for a good long while, and have had no interest in putting myself on social media. It isn't just Tumblr. I deleted Facebook (that also had to do with not being able to handle the level of stupidity of today's social and political climate). But, in the last month or so, I've become happier and getting closer to my old self every day. Let's hope it keeps going! Thanks to whoever read this whole thing. For everyone else, patience.

#personal

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Music is the bridge between Heaven and Earth