Untitled

[chickenlittle2021]

Bcareful What U Fantasize

“I can’t believe you’re not going. 5 nominations including best screenplay for you, are you mental again?!” Jordan’s best friend and agent screamed into the phone. “I haven’t attended any of them Al, so what is your point now? Why are you making such a big deal about this one?” Jordan countered back. Jordan Beales and Alice Hailey were ‘day oners’ literally. They were both born on an army base the same year, same day and their mothers were best friends. From Jordan losing her mother to heart disease and Alice losing both her parents to a car accident, to numerous relationship breakups and even Jordan committing herself to a hospital psychiatric facility for a short time; they were always there for each other. It’s funny how most people upon seeing them think they’re a couple, but no, they are: “sisters from different misters”. That is always how they introduce themselves. And because they are so close, Alice knows exactly why Jordan has not attended a single ceremony so far during this awards season. Jordan was avoiding “her” at all costs. 

The “her”, that Alice is referring is the Brazilian actress, Priscila Buiar. Ever since Jordan shared with Alice that the actress was the muse that unlocked her writer’s block, Jordan got it stuck in her head that if she were to ever meet Buiar she would be cursed with the block again. It was Jordan who suggested to the production studio that Ms. Buiar be considered for the co-lead role in the film that Jordan had written the screenplay. Rumor had it that Priscila wanted to reach out directly to thank Jordan. Priscila had already won the Golden Globe and nominated for the SAG and the Oscar.  Many thought she would be a shoo-in for those awards. Jordan had gone so far as to move to Ecuador and rejected every invitation to attend an awards ceremony. When Alice would tell her that Buiar’s management had reached out to see when Jordan might be available for even a simple phone call, she would have Alice come up with the excuse that she lived in an area that had horrible cell service and she didn’t have a landline. One time Alice received a call directly from Ms. Buiar letting her know she would be happy to visit Jordan in Ecuador, the excuse then was Jordan was working on a new project and any interruption would hurt the creative process. 

Alice was fed up with Jordan’s, what Alice considered, irrational behavior. The woman simply wanted to express her gratitude not ruin Jordan’s life. But Alice also understood that genius walked a fine line with insanity at times, and Jordan could get intensely into her own thoughts. For Jordan, reality and imagination during the creative process were one in the same. It was the only way she knew how to work, which is why when she worked on a project she went away usually to remote areas of Greece, Africa or Alaska. 

“Jordan, this is the Oscars, the one that’s listed in the letter. Don’t you think you deserve to soak up the limelight just this once?” Alice begged. There was a long pause on the phone before she heard her friend say, “Alice, I need my gift, I lost Dana, I’m not losing my other love. I can’t go through that again, I won’t survive.” Jordan let the tears fall, she didn’t try to stop them. She lost her heaven on earth almost 7 years ago but everyday seemed like it just happened. Those first 3 years after Dana died, she became the walking dead, with ranging emotions of guilt, anger and utter hopelessness. Then just 3 years ago Jordan decided to get her affairs in order, not because she was going to kill herself, she just knew the amount of booze and food she was consuming would take her out, and she didn’t care anymore. In her mind that is how Dana left her, so Jordan would do the same.

While researching on YouTube about estate planning, she came across a review from one of the channels she followed. It was about a web series called Stupid Wife, and then she remembered Twitter and YouTube channel feeds kept referencing the show. Jordan doubted she was going to get into it, but curiosity got the best of her, so she clicked on the video. Jordan’s breath caught in her chest, or do you call it a deep sigh, she didn’t know because she didn’t understand what was happening to her in the moment. She agreed with the reviewer a hundred percent. Jordan thought she was looking at Aphrodite and the sun all at the same time. She felt like she was being blinded by beauty and for a moment she couldn't breathe. She remembered only 2 times feeling this way, the first time was when she saw Jayne Kennedy on a magazine cover and the time when Dana drove 6 hours in the middle of the night to surprise her. Jordan thought both actresses on the screen were stunning but the actress that she would find out was Priscila Buiar, was ethereal.