No matter how much you think it's over, it's not over. No how much you try to destroy everything that is EXO, you can't. EXO has been through hell and back and keeps rising, adapting and overcoming. So despite all the members leaving and saying fuck you to SM, EXO still continues to thrive and give EXO-Ls quality content. The bond is strong with the remaining 9 members and nobody can break that.
"god, he spoils you so much," wonwoo rolls his eyes from the foot of the bed, hands on the handles of the one-person sofa.
"w-what?" you blearily ask, voice croaking, thighs shaking. it's hard to focus on anything when mingyu is lapping away at your cunt, sucking and knotting his tongue into your wetness. the egg vibrator hums within you, mingyu's fingers pushing it back and forth out of your sopping hole, in and out.
wonwoo doesn't move an inch, hand now coming down to palm at his growing tent in his pants, the perfectly painted and poised picture of self-control. "you don't even beg for anything and he'll hand it to you. stuffs you full everytime you want it, gives it to you the way you like. right, angel?"
your fingers tighten in mingyu's hair, keeping him pressed against your bare pussy. mingyu doesn't even protest against wonwoo's words, continuing to mouth at you like a hungry puppy. the knot in your stomach is starting to tighten, the vibrations from the toy sending a thrum to your whole body, your toes curling into your feet on reflex.
you don't notice when wonwoo stands up and comes closer to where you lay, leans against the headboard, a hand coming up to pinch your nipples and palm at your chest. the added stimulation grows the bundle of nerves in your pit, ready to explode, teether off of the edge of the cliff.
wonwoo hums, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "are you about to cum, angel?"
wonwoo tries to keep his face calm from seeing the way your eyes go a bit crossed as you look up at him, nodding desperately. you are spoiled, but you're also very good, keeping your hands to yourself. the bed slightly shakes, most likely mingyu pressing his hips down to the bed, gaining some friction against his untouched cock.
as the word please falls off of your lips wonwoo's hand comes atop yours in mingyu's hair, pushing back his head, taking his tongue away from your cunt. you let out a loud sob, hips jolting at the loss of stimulation, the vibrator only taking the edge off but not enough to make you come on its own.
"i need to teach you a lesson about gratefulness, baby." wonwoo looks at you before glancing at mingyu who's panting, his own hands grasping at the sheet, hips raised so his cock is no longer against the bed. "both of you."
A/N: I wrote this with only by Leehi on repeat and this fic was more or less inspired by the mood of that song, so definitely give it a listen before/while you're reading this if you haven't heard it before. I cried writing this. I know it says angst, but it's not really angsty in the traditional sense. Happy Halloween everyone.
Masterlist
On lonely days please color me with your shining light
I’ll do better when you promise me we will stay together.
On tiring nights and busy daytimes
Please make room in your heart for me to rest
I’ll do better when you share your love with me
My only one
On your first date with Baekhyun, he took you to an amusement park. Never before had you connected with someone so easily, and you were overjoyed to have found a man who seemed so lovely and genuine. He appeared too good to be true at first, and you worried that he would be no more than another gilded boy, who looked so perfect on first glance, but was hiding more sinister intentions beneath the surface. However the way he smiled at you when he won you the stuffed bear you wanted was so sweet, so pure, you found it difficult to doubt him. That evening when he dropped you off, you were hoping that he would kiss you. He’d looked down at you with red cheeks before he leaned in and you were sure you’d never felt butterflies with anyone else the way you did with him. His lips felt so perfect, that even when he started to pull away, you threw your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss instead. You’d never forget the way you felt him smile into your actions, just as enamored with you as you were with him.
On your second date, Baekhyun took you to dinner at your favorite restaurant. This time he allowed himself to be a bit more open with you, joking around more, acting sillier, more himself. He was surprised how easily he let his guard down in front of you, but to him it somehow just felt right. The more the two of you talked, and about heavier, more nuanced topics, the more you fell into him, and the more he wanted to know about you. You could’ve just stared at him all night and been perfectly content too. He was so beautiful you weren’t quite sure how to keep your eyes off him at times. Luckily, however, Baekhyun seemed to enjoy looking at you just as much. The conversation over dinner that evening had you laughing so hard your stomach hurt, but it also had you listening and thinking intently, wanting nothing more than to fully delve into the world of the gorgeous man sitting before you. When it did fall silent, it didn’t feel awkward. You just looked at each other, smiling, because you both already knew how good this was. When he kissed you that night you’d clung on to him greedily, letting your hands wander along his chest and back, and his lips explored your neck, pulling soft sighs out of you as you got lost in the feeling of his hands and lips on your skin. You were burning, feeling more alive than you could ever remember feeling.
For the third date, you and Baekhyun visited an aquarium. You couldn’t imagine a more perfect day if you tried. Everything seemed to fall into place just right, and his hand never left yours as you walked together through the exhibits, talking and laughing. That was the day you learned how fun he really was, when he was fully comfortable with someone. Your face hurt from smiling so much, but you couldn’t find the energy to care when he made you feel so good. He always seemed to know what to say, and as the hours went by, you realized that you felt it. Your parents, as well as other old couples, had always told you that when they met the one, they just knew. As much as you tried to rationalize, telling yourself that this was only your third date, that it was far too soon to be thinking this way, you couldn’t deny what you were feeling. He was everything you were looking for, everything you wanted. He was the one for you, you knew it. That night you let him into your home, you let him touch you, you let him make you fully his, at least for the night. But you both already knew that you wanted much more than that.
You’d never believed in all those cheesy metaphors before you met him, about finding your ‘missing puzzle piece’ or whatever, but Baekhyun was slowly making you understand. Meeting him was as if a light had been switched on in your life, bringing you a whole new sense of comfort and warmth. It wasn’t long after the third date that he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you happily accepted, pressing your lips to his as you both smiled into one another.
He was the first one to say those three words, one tired morning as the two of you had laid in bed, just holding one another. It slipped out during a sleepy conversation, the topic of which had long been forgotten. You recalled perfectly how he’d let out a small gasp when he realized what he’d said, red faced as his eyes found yours. All you could think to do was kiss him, bringing him as close to yourself as you could. He’d pulled away, a worried look on his soft features, wanting to hear you say it back, out loud. You happily obliged, and the love you made that morning was the best yet as you repeated those words back to each other more times than you could count.
Sex with Baekhyun was unlike anything you’d experienced before, it felt more intense, more real, and as you considered it more and more, you realized why. Sex was different when you were in love, and with the right person. When your bodies came together it was a pure physical expression of the love you shared for each other, and it was more euphoric than you ever thought possible. It was like he was handcrafted, just for you. Your perfect match, in every way.
Being with him felt so warm and comfortable, it was like you hadn’t only found the love of your life, you’d found your best friend too. The way you two got along just worked, and even after days of being around each other you never got sick of him. You didn’t think it was possible for you to ever get tired of him. Loving him was the easiest thing you’d ever done, and you happily looked forward to growing old together with him.
Three months, that was how long you had with him. Finally you had found the one, and you let yourself believe that fully, which made it even more devastating when you lost him.
It was a freak accident, which almost felt like the most cruel part. He’d simply tripped going down some stairs, and broken his neck. At the very least, it was a relatively quick and painless death. But that didn’t make it any less painful for you. One season, one quarter of a year. That was all you got with the love of your life, before fate, or whatever power it might be, took him from you in just a couple of seconds.
You didn’t go to work, or even leave your home for the first week after. The grief was simply too much to bear. You would ponder for hours, how this could have happened. How something so wonderful could have ended so abruptly. It almost felt like a cruel joke the universe was playing on you.
Your coworkers had noticed how much happier you’d looked in the months leading up to Baekhyun’s death, and they saw how destroyed you were when you returned afterwards. It was as if all of the joy had been sucked out of you, leaving nothing more than a hollow shell. It was easier for you to just push everything down when you were there, otherwise you would only keep crying.
As the days went by, you began to feel increasingly empty. As pathetic as it sounded, it was like a piece of you had been ripped away. All you longed for was him, to see him again, to kiss him, to laugh together with him, but he was gone. You had so much more to do together, so much more to experience, but it had all been cut short.
It was about two weeks after his death when you first thought you heard him. His voice was one of your favorite things about him, and one night as you lay awake missing him, you swore you heard him call for you. You shook it off. You were just grieving, it was only your mind playing tricks on you, it had to be. It had to be some other voice from outside, that you were just mistaking for him. But when you heard it again the next night, more clearly, you couldn’t shake it off. You’d called out to him in response, but you didn’t get an answer.
A few days later, you thought you felt his touch. Baekhyun had always enjoyed running his hands along your waist when you were laying down, tracing up and down the curve from your rips down to your hip. At first when you had felt it, you’d smiled at the comforting touch, too tired to realize. But after a few seconds, once you were really awake, you jolted upright at the feeling. Looking around you realized you were alone in your bed, despite the phantom touch you knew you’d just felt. From then on you couldn’t shake the feeling. It had to be him.
It was about a month after his death that you first saw him again. A friend had insisted on setting you up on a date to try and help you move on, and you had foolishly agreed, but only after quite a lot of pestering. You didn’t want to go, it felt too soon, you felt guilty.
That night at the restaurant, sitting across from a man that wasn’t even half of what Baekhyun was, you saw him. He stood against the wall of the restaurant, looking at the two of you with an expression that could only be described as heartbreak. You got up, crying, leaving the man sitting there confused as you walked yourself home, trying to process what you had seen. Baekhyun was dead, but somehow you had still heard him, felt him, and even seen him. It didn’t make any sense, and it made you long for him even more deeply because, maybe, it seemed, he was still around, watching you as you lived on without him.
That night was the first time you talked to him, telling him you were sorry, that you didn’t want to go out with that other man, that you still knew he was the only one for you. You didn’t get an answer, but in your heart you felt that he was listening.
It was the day one of your neighbors fell sick, that everything you had been suspecting was proven to be true. At first it felt like just another night of laying awake and missing him, hoping you would get to hear his voice again, or maybe feel his touch. But what you hadn’t expected was to see him, looking as alive as ever, standing before you in your bedroom when you turned to the corner from your bathroom, already having given up on getting your little piece of him for the night. You stood frozen, and he walked towards you, taking your hand in his. It felt warm, perfectly alive and real. It didn’t make any sense, but you didn’t need it to. You stared up at him, unable to believe your eyes.
“Are you scared?” He asked you softly, and you shook your head. His lips curled into a soft smile, relieved that he hadn’t frightened you.
You knew, rationally, that you should be scared, terrified even. This was your dead boyfriend who was somehow standing before you. But you had missed him so terribly, longed for him so intensely, that you couldn’t feel anything but confusion and relief and joy at the sight of him.
“How..?”
“I don’t know, I just know that when I tried hard enough, you seemed to hear me, feel me, even see me.”
You took your hand away from his, bringing it up to cup his face. He was warm, soft, just how you remembered. Tears left your eyes in steady streams as you took him in. You were reminded of the soft, droopy eyes that formed the cutest little crescents when he smiled. The moles scattered across his lovely face, asking to be kissed one by one. And his lips, that always spoke the sweetest words to you, that kissed you unlike anyone else had before. It was really him.
You felt your heart break when he spoke again, voice shaking as he held back tears of his own.
“I felt so helpless when I saw you with that guy, I didn’t realize that you could see me until you reacted. I- I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just so upset I guess I somehow appeared to you.”
He was looking at you like a hurt puppy, and without another second to waste, you brought his face to yours, lips finally meeting again. That was enough to make you weep even more, because somehow, the one thing you’d craved so deeply, that you knew was gone for good, was back.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “You always do that.” He said, a small smile tugging at his lips despite the sadness still swimming in his eyes.
“Do what?”
“You just kiss me, instead of telling me what I want to hear.”
Your face broke into a wide grin, despite still being wet with tears. “I’m yours, you know I am. I don’t know why I agreed to go on that date. I love you, more than anything. Nobody else compares, I promise.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” He said, bringing you in close, wrapping his arms around you as you laid your head on his chest.
“How long until you disappear?” You asked softly.
“I’m not sure.” He whispered against the crown of your head. “But, I think I have a little while longer, I feel, I don’t know, present.”
As silly as it felt at first, if he was going to stay with you for a little while longer, you wanted to indulge in him completely. You brought your lips back to his, this time keeping them there, pressing yourself against his body. His hand found the small of your back, anchoring you in place. When he parted your lips, sliding his tongue into your mouth, you felt the need building. You whined, and soon found yourself wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bed.
You were laid down softly, his lips leaving yours and eyes scanning your face for any signs of hesitance or discomfort, but he saw none. You pulled him down, until he was resting in between your parted legs. It was such a familiar feeling, leaving you breathless at the warmth it caused within you. You had missed feeling him like this even more than you had realized.
Baekhyun didn’t feel any need to rush, slowly mapping your skin with his lips as they explored your neck, down to your collarbones, until he was pulling off your shirt for more skin. Without a bra to further separate you, his lips found your chest and you sighed, breath gradually becoming less consistent. The whole time he showered you with kisses he was also breathing out soft praises into your skin, telling you how beautiful, how perfect you were to him. It was absolute bliss, especially after being deprived for so long.
“I missed you so, so much.” You sighed.
He stopped and looked up at you, bringing himself back up to eye level with you, cradling your face in his hand. “You have no idea how hard it was, watching you grieve, not being able to do anything.”
“You’re here now” You whispered as you brought his lips back to yours, and he soon resumed his kisses down your body. You whined when he took a nipple in his mouth, still knowing exactly how to make you go absolutely insane with desire. You both knew you were making up for lost time, and were ready to fully give into your desires.
His mouth trailed down your stomach, gradually getting lower and lower, until he reached the hem of your pajama shorts. You lifted your hips for him and he slid them off, along with your underwear, leaving you completely bare. Baekhyun sat up to remove his own shirt and you marveled at him as he moved on top of you. Soon his face was back between your legs, kissing up your thighs, building up more and more tension within you, until you were just about to beg him, at which point he finally touched his tongue to where you needed him, leaving a soft, wet, kiss, still toying with you, enjoying your reactions. Baekhyun quickly became needy himself and picked up the pace, licking and sucking and flicking your most sensitive spot just right, and your back arched off the bed as you let out loud moans. He was almost too good, as your body shook beneath his mouth, and when you felt one of his beautiful slender fingers slip inside you you almost immediately lost it. He felt incredible, still licking and sucking as his finger worked perfectly inside you. You knew you weren’t going to last much longer, and with one wet kiss you were tipping over the edge, clutching the sheets as you came into his mouth as he licked it all up greedily, savoring the taste of you.
As Baekhyun pulled away to look down at you, he found you flushed deep pink, panting as you tried to catch your breath. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen something so beautiful.
“You’re so gorgeous, I love you so much.” He whispered before bringing his lips back to yours, kissing you with all the need and desperation that he had been hiding away before. He was back between your legs and you wrapped them around his waist, pulling him further into you. Neither of you could wait any longer. The need for one another was too strong, and you watched in awe as he removed the last of his clothing before moving back over you.
“I don’t want you to think that this is the only reason I’m here.” He whispered, pausing before going any further. “This really wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to see you so badly and you look so beautiful, when you kissed me like that I didn’t want to stop.”
You beamed up at him, “I know Baekhyun, it’s okay, I want this too, I missed this.”
And that was all the confirmation he needed before he was pushing his hips forward, sinking into you fully, covering your mouth with his own as you both adjusted to the feeling. After not having each other for so long it felt amplified, somehow even more intense than usual, when he pulled out and slowly pushed back inside fully. You clutched on to him for dear life as he set a steady pace, making love to you just right, like he always did. Every roll of his hips into yours had you crying out in pleasure as he hit that part of you perfectly every time. He too was panting and moaning, and you pulled him down to kiss you. That kiss must have ignited something within him, because he started moving faster, pushing in and out of you with more force now, and you felt that you were teetering on the edge, about to fall into your own ocean of pleasure any second. Baekhyun kept you there, right on the edge, but not quite letting you fall off yet. It felt so incredible to finally have you again, and he didn’t know when the next time would be, so he wanted to make this last. But there was only so much he could take. When he felt you start to clench down on him, he picked up the pace, moaning and cursing at the feeling of you, and when you came, shaking and crying out in pleasure beneath him, he lost it. With a few final thrusts he emptied himself inside you, before collapsing, holding onto you and smothering you completely as he showered you in gentle kisses.
You rolled to your side so that he wasn’t crushing you anymore, wrapping your arms around him, burying your head in his chest.
“What now?” You whispered.
“Can’t we just stay like this for a while?” He asked, and you didn’t protest. Despite the sticky feeling between your legs, the last thing you wanted to do was get up. You knew if you got up now, by the time you were back he would be gone.
“When can you come back again?” You asked quietly, cautiously, worried what kind of answer you might receive.
“I don’t know. It takes a lot of energy, a lot of willpower to get myself here. I don’t fully understand how I’m even still here right now.”
Those words sent a pang of sadness back through you. You kept your head hidden in his chest as tears started to spill over again, but he could tell by your breathing that you were crying.
His body left yours and his hand held your chin, making you look at him. “I promise I’ll come back as much as I can, but I might need you to be patient, can you do that for me baby? Please?”
He looked worried, like he didn’t think you were going to be able to wait. His thumb caught your tears as they rolled down your face, but you still nodded in agreement.
“It’s so unfair.” You whispered. “We just met. This- this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” He said, letting you bury your face in his chest again as you continued to weep, holding him tightly. You just wanted to bask in the feeling of having him there with you, so you did. You held onto one another until you eventually fell asleep in his arms.
The next morning when you woke up, he was gone again. For a moment you thought that maybe it had all been a dream, just your mind playing more tricks on you, trying to help you through the grieving process. There could be no way you’d really slept with your deceased boyfriend last night, right?
But when you moved to sit up you felt the lingering soreness between your legs, and as you inhaled, you caught the scent of him still lingering on your sheets. It had to have been real.
That day at work people noticed that you seemed to be doing better, that you looked happier again.
When you finally saw your best friend again, you had to say something to her about the whole thing. You knew it would sound crazy, but she was your best friend, and keeping it all in was driving you insane. Not to mention that you still owed an explanation for what had happened on the date she’d set you up on. But her reaction proved to be even worse than you expected. She told you that you were just confused, that your brain was trying to process the grief, that you were going crazy, really. That you needed to get a grip. And when you insisted that you knew what you’d seen, what you’d experienced, she got up and left, but not before telling you that you needed to get help.
It stung, but not as badly as it did to lose Baekhyun. You knew what had happened, and you knew it was real, and that was the important thing. You had already lost enough, as long as you could hang on to that small sliver of him that seemed to linger, you were happy.
Sometimes in the late night or early morning you would be able to sense him there with you. Whether it was a light touch, or a whisper, he’d let you know when he was there. Your favorite was when you’d feel his lips lightly press against your cheek as you fell asleep. It was such a small gesture, but it made you feel safe knowing he was with you. You also spoke to him much more, now that you knew he would be able to hear you. You did your best to never make it seem like you expected a response, since you knew it was difficult for him. Most of the time you would just talk to him about your day, or other mundane things.
You were surprised how soon he appeared to you again. It had only been a couple weeks when you woke up to the feeling of his hand on your leg, and you shot up, overjoyed when you realized you could see his hand touching you, as well as the rest of him. Your arms were thrown around him, pulling him down into bed with you eagerly and the giggle he let out at your excitement had your heart bursting. Once you were in bed together, lying next to each other, taking each other in, you finally spoke.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“You still got to see me the whole time though.” You whined. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you again so soon.”
He cracked a smile and you moved closer, wrapping your arms around him and burrowing your head into his chest. Every intake of breath smelled like him, and despite the lack of oxygen, you stayed right there. You wouldn’t have traded it for the world, just getting to lay there with him, breathing him in, surrounded by him completely. However you still had some worries that you wanted to address.
“Baekhyun, do you think all this is okay? Doesn’t it feel like we’re kind of testing fate? What if something bad happens?”
One of his hands moved to cup your jaw and he moved your face to look at his.
“I don’t know. I always thought that when I died I would just be gone, but I think… I think I’m still here because of you.”
You gave him a questioning look.
“I should‘ve been gone as soon as my head hit those stairs. Just, gone. I think a part of me got stuck here because I wasn’t ready to let you go yet.” He said quietly, cautiously.
Again, you wrapped yourself around him, this time to hide the tears that were slowly starting to fall.
“I should’ve married you.”
“What?” You whispered, slightly shocked.
“I should’ve married you while I was still alive, I knew by the second date that you’re the only one I want. I could feel it, I just wish I’d had the balls to act on it.”
He said it so casually, as if it didn’t even take a second thought.
“Baekhyun…”
He had you at a loss for words. Of course you loved him more than anything, but marriage wasn’t something you’d really thought about yet, you hadn’t even known each other a year.
“When did you feel it?”
“Feel what?”
“The feeling, like you knew you found the one. After that dinner with you I couldn’t stop thinking about you and smiling like an idiot. I was so happy I couldn’t even fall asleep that night, I just wanted to keep replaying everything in my head over and over again. Being with you felt so familiar, so comfortable, so easy, I knew you were the only one for me.”
You’d backed away from him a bit to look up into his eyes, and you found him already gazing down at you. Of course you knew that he loved you, but you thought you’d even been a bit crazy with how soon you fell for him, to hear that he’d felt that even before you did, made your heart pound.
“After the Aquarium…” You replied. “And I thought I was crazy for thinking like that so soon…”
“So I’m the crazy one then?” He asked jokingly, cracking a smile. “You make me crazy, you know. It’s all your fault.”
That night you and him held on to one another, talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s presence just like you had before the accident. When he’d kissed you you’d become greedy, rolling on top of him, wanting to feel him everywhere, and again he happily obliged. Not being able to see him for so long made everything feel amplified when he was there. You hung on to him tighter, kissed harder, and let his name escape your lips more frequently.
Both of you became so desperate in each other’s absence, sex was a given. Especially for him, being able to see you, but not touch you, had been torture. Now that he was finally able to feel you and for you to feel him, there was no holding back. You wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
As the two of you came down from your highs, you once again wrapped yourself around him, not wanting to get out of bed. You felt that maybe if you hung onto him tight enough, he wouldn’t disappear, you could keep him there anchored to you.
But of course when you woke up the next morning, he was gone.
Work became increasingly unpleasant. People had found out about your ‘visits’, probably from your friend. Your coworkers began to look at you like some tragic victim, driven insane with grief. Nobody really talked to you anymore, instead you’d hear whispers as soon as they thought you were out of ear shot.
Getting up in the mornings was becoming more and more difficult too. Going about your days, knowing everyone around you thought you were crazy, exhausted you. In the evenings when you’d get home you would do mundane things, until eventually falling asleep. The whole day he would be on your mind, wondering, hoping that maybe he could show up for you soon.
It had been several days since he’d last appeared when you noticed that your neighbor hadn’t been home for a while. You wondered if maybe he was on vacation. But thinking back on how sick he’d looked when you saw him the other day, figured it might be best to ask and make sure. You knocked on the next door over, and this neighbor informed you that he had been at the hospital in a coma for several days. You were taken aback, hoping that he would be okay. You weren’t close, but he’d seemed like a decent fellow. Not quite sure what else to do, you thanked the other neighbor for her time and went back into your apartment.
You handled it okay when your friend reacted so badly to what you told her about Baekhyun, but it was a different story with your family. They had found out too, and they thought something was wrong with you, that you needed medication or therapy or something, to make you ‘normal’ again because there was no way their daughter could be okay if she was claiming to see dead people. When you returned home that day you cried and cried and you only felt okay again when you were about to go to sleep and felt Baekhyun’s lips lightly pressing against your forehead. You wished you could wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and cry into his chest like you could’ve if he were still alive. Life was becoming incredibly lonely, and ironically he was the one thing keeping you going, giving you a reason to wake up in the mornings.
It wasn’t easy for Baekhyun either. He could see you, day in and day out, lonely, depressed, without being able to do anything to help. On days that seemed especially difficult he would try his best to muster up the energy to give you a kiss, or a light touch, loving the way he would see a smile form on your lips in response. He missed seeing you smile so terribly, it had become such a rare thing.
It was only a week or so after he’d last been able to appear to you when he saw you come home crying, not even putting away your things before sinking down onto the kitchen floor, clutching your knees to your chest, heaving with how hard you wept. He couldn’t take it, to see you in such a state, without being able to comfort you. He felt himself becoming emotional, a combination of sadness, frustration, and fear consuming him as he watched you, looking completely broken.
He was confused at first when you looked up and met his eyes, letting out a small gasp. He hadn’t been conscious of it, but somewhere in the flood of emotions he was feeling he must’ve conjured up the energy to appear to you, like he had when he’d seen you with another man.
Before he could think about it any deeper you had your arms around him, crying into his chest and once he understood that he was really there with you his arms came around you holding you against him. He wanted to ask what had happened, why you were so hurt, but he found it difficult to push the words past the lump in his throat as tears of his own started to spill over. He decided to just hold onto you, and let the tears come as they pleased. Now wasn’t the time for holding back.
When the two of you finally separated and he was able to look at you properly he felt his heart break even more. You looked tired, and so, so sad. He hated that his death had done this to you, and he hated that he couldn’t be there for you the way you needed him to be. He’d wanted to believe that the two of you would be able to figure it out somehow, but as he looked at you, he didn’t think he could handle that.
He brought a hand up to your face, his thumb running across the skin of your cheek.
“Y/n…”
Your eyes closed and you leaned into his hand, wanting to push out all the bad thoughts and just focus on being there with him in the moment.
“What happened?”
Your eyes squeezed together as more tears leaked out, you didn’t know how you could even begin to explain what you were feeling to him.
“N-nothing.” You murmured.
Baekhyun’s eyebrows knit together in confusion as he looked down at you, eyes full of concern.
“Then why are you crying? Hmm?”
His hands held your face gently as he waited for you to respond, unsure, scared of what you might tell him.
“It’s just hard.” You eventually breathed out.
Wanting to escape his eyes on you, you leaned your forehead against his chest, and his hands moved to your back and the nape of your neck, holding you there.
You weren’t lying. It wasn’t anything in particular that had happened that had you feeling so down, it was just the overwhelming loneliness you felt after being rejected by everyone around you, and from missing him.
Sometimes you’d briefly think that maybe it would be better if you just gave into everyone, and acted like he wasn’t real, to spare yourself the pain you felt going about your life everyday as the crazy girl who still talked to her dead boyfriend. But you couldn’t stomach it. You knew what you were experiencing, you knew he could see and hear you. To act like he was just gone when he was still with you would feel too terrible. You couldn’t hurt him like that, if he was really stuck here because he couldn’t let go of you either.
“I hate seeing you like this so much, a relationship is supposed to make you happy, I feel like I’m only making you miserable.” He whispered, chin resting atop your head on his chest, voice slightly unstable.
You swallowed down the lump in your throat, not wanting to agree with him, but you knew that it was true in a way.
You shook your head slightly, “It isn’t you, it’s my whole life now after everything, but you do make me happy, more than anything else, I just miss you is all.”
Baekhyun took a step back and his hands moved to hold onto your shoulders, looking down at you solemnly.
“Y/n can you do something for me?”
You quickly nodded, wondering what it was that a phantom could possibly want, but willing to do whatever you needed to make him happy.
“Can you try to start going out more again, doing things you used to enjoy, meeting new people? You- you know how I can see you, even when you can’t see me, and I can tell how lonely you are, and depressed, and it hurts so fucking bad seeing you like that all the time, because of me, and I just- I want you to start moving on, if you can, I just want you to be able to be happy again.”
His voice was shaky, and you heard the cation and care in his words. You still felt your stomach drop at the words ‘moving on’.
“What? What do you mean m-move on? Are you going to stop appearing?”
He could see the immediate panic in the way your eyes widened and you clutched the fabric of his shirt.
He shook his head and you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until the sigh of relief fell off your lips.
“I want to see you happy again, that’s what matters to me the most. You don’t have to always be thinking about me, just live your life and try to be happy without me, and I promise I’ll come to you as much as I can, okay?”
You stared up at him as he gave you a small smile, trying to comfort you into taking his words to heart.
“But what about my family?”
“Just tell them whatever you have to tell them. They’re your family, I’ll understand. I know it’s hard for people to accept all this.”
Despite the small smile that was still on his lips the sadness in his eyes was unmistakable.
You nodded, thinking about what this would mean for you. Of course you didn’t want to feel like this anymore either, but to go on with your life, without him being a part of it outside of his occasional appearances, didn’t feel right. In a way your grief and your need to hang on to him so tightly even in your everyday life was what made you feel close to him still. You didn’t want to feel even more disconnected from him than you already were.
But the longer you looked up into his warm brown eyes, those same eyes that held so much warmth and affection for you, that only had your best interests at heart, the more you were willing to try.
That evening he was able to stay with you for longer than he had before, and you found yourself genuinely smiling and laughing for the first time in weeks as the two of you watched movies and laughed and held and touched one another. And even when you were falling asleep with your head resting on his chest, you weren’t as destroyed about the fact that he’d be gone in the morning as you were before. For him, you were going to try to live happily.
When the morning did come and you were alone again, you didn’t feel quite as lonely as you had in the past. It wasn’t much, but slowly, you were learning to be okay.
You wanted to try to do this for him, so you thought that getting a pastry from a bakery you used to love would be a good start. It wasn’t much, but it was something you enjoyed, and something that got you out of the house.
It still didn’t feel good waking up without him, and you still missed him terribly, but everything was okay, you told yourself, you were going to be okay. Even if you couldn’t have him with you all the time, you would do your best without him, and be ready to welcome him with open arms once he was able to appear. And you really believed that until you reached the door to leave your building.
On the other side you were met with an ambulance parked directly in front of your building, and you just barely made out her face before your neighbor was moved into the back of the vehicle on a stretcher.
Your mind raced back to your other neighbor, who’d first fallen ill, and then into a coma, and you realized what was happening.
You thought you might be sick. This whole time, every time you’d gotten to see him, it was hurting the people around you. That was how he was appearing to you, how you could see him and touch him.
A million thoughts raced through your mind at lightning speed but above all else you wondered if he knew. But he couldn’t, right? He seemed so surprised that you’d been able to see him the night before, he couldn’t have done it on purpose.
In reality Baekhyun realized it the same moment you did. He was right there, invisible to you, but looking at the same scene. He hadn’t meant to drain living people of their energy in order to be able to materialize, he’d just done it somehow.
The pastries were the last thing on your mind as you went back up to your apartment, trying your best not to show how shocked and upset you felt. The guilt was more than you could bear and crying didn’t even seem like a good enough response to what was running through your mind as you stared down at your kitchen counter, bracing yourself against it with both hands.
And Baekhyun watched, feeling the guilt himself as well. Now that he knew, he had to try to stop it, but you still shrieked out when he suddenly became visible to you.
For the first time since his death his appearance frightened you. You knew that he had to be appearing to you at some cost, and you didn’t want any more people getting hurt because of you and him.
“What…? How?” He looked back at you, equally scared, not knowing what to do. You saw the tears start to run down his face in steady streams.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying best he could to get himself to disappear, but the emotions were too strong and his physical self stayed anchored there in your apartment despite his best efforts.
“I-I don’t know why... I don’t know how to stop, I, I-”
He looked desperate, and as horrible as it was you couldn’t bring yourself to comfort him. He needed to disappear before more people got hurt.
You just put your head down, squeezing your eyes shut and shaking your head. He had to be gone.
Your mind raced and raced and you knew it was over, you couldn’t see him again. He didn’t just need to disappear now, he needed to be gone for good, like he should’ve been when he died. The realization that you were losing him all over again shook you as you continued to cry and Baekhyun continued to panic, desperately trying to figure out how to stop what he was doing but not even knowing where to start.
As the seconds passed you thought about how someone else was being drained of their energy as you stood there, not doing anything to stop it.
Baekhyun told you that you were the one keeping him there, and as your eyes wandered to the block of kitchen knives just across the counter you realized what you needed to do. Losing him a second time was too painful to bear, and your life had become so sad and bleak, you didn’t give it a second thought.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered, and before he had the chance to stop you, you grabbed the largest of your kitchen knives, and plunged it into your stomach.
Baekhyun’s eyes went wide as he watched you, panic flowing through him as he rushed to your side as you collapsed onto the kitchen floor. He pulled out the knife and when he saw how deep it had gone, he knew there was nothing he could do. He looked down at you through tear filled eyes, watching as your eyes grew hazy, and your breathing slowed. He repeated again and again that you were going to be okay, that he was there with you, as he held your face in his hands, watching as the life in you gradually faded away.
You were smiling up at him as you felt yourself growing weaker and he was holding you, talking to you, but it was all a jumbled up blur and the only thing you could focus on was his face. You were smiling, because soon this nightmare would be over, soon you would be with him again, and nobody would get hurt anymore. He was so pretty, you thought, and when your last breath left your lips, you felt at peace.
When your eyes opened again you were somewhere else, surrounded by white light, and you saw him, teary eyed, waiting for you. He took you in his arms, and you knew that you were finally where you were supposed to be.
A couple days later when the police found your body, they were puzzled. All of your doors and windows had been locked, and everything lined up with it having been a suicide. However the placement of the knife, and the way your body was laying on the kitchen floor, were as if someone else had been there with you, trying to save you.
Pairing: Park Chanyeol x F.Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 2934
Summary: You visit your family for your birthday and a few antics lead to a quick rendezvous in the family home.
Warnings: mothers pressuring you into having babies (lightheartedly), spanking, oral (f.receiving), fingering, explicit sex, degradative actions/words, rough (please let me know if you think anything else should be mentioned)
Author's Note: This is purely a self-indulgent story I wrote for myself because it's my birthday. Hope you enjoy reading! 💞
It was the weekend before your birthday and, since your birthday falls on a weekday this year, you had claimed it as your birthday weekend. You would also claim the following weekend as well but we’ll get to that when the time comes.
You were currently in the car on the way to a small family gathering to kickstart the celebrations. Chanyeol in the driver's seat with his hand on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothingly into your skin and not so subtly trying to slip under the skirt of your dress. Actually, you’re not even sure if he was aware of what he was doing or if it was just a case of idle hands. You didn’t mind either way, the weather was starting to get a little chilly and the warmth from his hands was always welcome.
Upon entry to the family home, you were bombarded with a hoard of excited little ones rushing to greet you. Well, you thought it was you, but the confused look on your face as they ran right past you and latched onto your boyfriend was the reason he was wearing a smug grin on features. As much as your little nieces and nephews loved you, they loved him just as much. All you could do was watch on happily with a goofy grin of your own while they rapid-fired questions at him.
As you stood to the side and admired the scene in front of you, your sisters came to say happy birthday and tease you about being the forgotten one since the kids had seemed to temporarily forget you existed, commenting on how he’s always so great with them. How they had been hounding their parents asking if Uncle Chanyeol would be coming today.
“Is that who I think it is?” A voice sing-songs from the kitchen.
You can hear kitchen utensils being thrown into the sink as your mother makes a straight b-line towards you. You raised your arms to hug her but it felt like deja vu when you were once again completely ignored for your boyfriend instead.
“Mum!” you exclaimed in fake shock horror.
She looked over at you and joined Chanyeol in laughing at your sour expression.
“I’m sorry, honey, but you’re here every other day. It’s not often I get to see my favourite future in law.” A toothy grin beamed across his features. They looked quite comical, your mothers small stature tucked in a side hug against your tall beanstalk boyfriend. “Happy birthday! I made all your favourites!”
“You are forgiven,” you huffed, “Now where’s the food!?”
Everyone began filing into the dining room and there were moments of chaos as you all helped set the food onto the table. Friendly banter and conversations with your siblings as you all did your part.
Over the course of the meal and amongst all the conversations that happened, your mother would constantly make references to her desire to have more grandkids, specifically from you and Chanyeol.
“Oh, you’re going to be a great dad one day, the little ones just adore you!”
“You two would have the cutest kids, really.”
“I can’t wait to have more little grandbabies waddling around the house.”
A wink or a nudge thrown your way each time, answered with a roll of your eyes.
If you were being honest, you weren’t opposed to the idea. You and Chanyeol had been together for a while. You were both at a stable position in your lives. You weren’t sure if he was planning to propose or not. Sometimes he would throw you some subtle hints about it, sometimes you would catch him looking at the ring display in the jewelry store when you were at the mall together. Marriage would be nice but it wasn’t too big of a deal to you, it would happen when it would and, if it didn’t, you only cared if the two of you were happy together. You didn’t want to stress too much about that fact. So, if you did happen to fall pregnant, it definitely would be more of a blessing than a problem.
After the meal, everyone moved to separate areas and groups around the house to relax. You were seated with your sisters, catching up on some events when your eyes wandered over to your boyfriend. He wasn’t dressed in anything fancy but he always looked so effortlessly handsome. Just a simple button up shirt over a white tee with the sleeves rolled up and some jeans.
Your eyes slowly crept up his body, admiring all the details of him until you reached his face. Busted. The corner of his lip quirked up, dimple deepening with his signature smirk in place. You narrowed your eyes back at him and huffed, turning your attention back to the conversation your sisters were having.
An idea suddenly came to mind, causing you to pull out your phone. Tapping your way to his messages and selecting a particularly saucy photo you had snapped earlier while getting ready. A new white lace lingerie set you had splurged on as you posed seductively in the mirror. Locking the screen the moment you were done and looking over to watch the scene unfold.
From your place across the room, you stifled a giggle as he jumped from the vibration in his pocket. Seeing a text notification from you, he looked over to you with a questioning look to which you answered with an angelic smile. Suspiciously, Chanyeol unlocked the screen, eyes nearly bulging from their sockets as he choked on his own saliva, launching himself into a coughing fit.
“Oh my god, Chanyeol, are you okay?” your mother fretted, patting his back in an attempt to soothe him. He panicked trying to quickly lock his phone and dropped it in the process, afraid someone might see what he just had. Glaring at you when he saw the amused look you had. You shrugged and smiled sweetly at him.
A little while later, your nephew challenged Chanyeol to a few rounds of Super Smash Bros Brawl to which he gladly accepted, taking his place on the floor slightly to the side of the tv screen.
They had gotten a few rounds in and were fairly even at this point, both having won 2 matches each. This was the final round, the decider. Anyone who had been paying attention was on edge, eager to see the results. But you had other ideas.
Just as the countdown for the matchstart was about to begin, you yelled out good luck, telling him he’d need it. He turned his head with a cocky reply ready to fire back at you but the words were caught in his mouth when he caught sight of your movements.
Slowly, you parted your legs and lifted one so you could cross it over the other. To anyone else, you were simply readjusting your position. But only someone who was sitting in the exact position where Chanyeol was currently seated, would be able to catch a glimpse of what was between your legs. Something all too familiar and yet so foreign. A flash of white lace. The exact same white lace from the risque snap he had received earlier. His mouth agape and practically drooling.
“Hey! Pay attention loser!” your nephew called out, regaining Chanyeol’s attention.
Although it was too little, too late and he ended up losing the final round.
It seemed you were full of ideas tonight, perhaps the alcohol you had been lazily sipping on throughout the night making you grow a little bolder than usual. After downing the rest of your wine, you excused yourself to the bathroom.
Once inside, you snuck a hand inside your panties, feeling how wet you had grown from teasing your poor boyfriend all night and the prospects of events that could transpire once you arrived home later that night. Eyes slightly rolling back when your slim digits touched your sensitive self. But your own hands could never do what Chanyeol’s could. Not compared to his bigger, thicker, longer fingers. Reigning in your desires, you pulled your hand out of your panties and fixed your outfit before you left the room.
Returning to the living area, you noticed the seat on the couch behind Chanyeol was free and made your way over, signaling him to move a little so you could take a seat. He scooted backwards, settling himself against the couch and in between your legs. You leant forward and began massaging his shoulders, commenting on how tense he was. You worked your way from his shoulders, up his neck and cupping his jaw. Quickly surveying the room and when you were sure no one was paying you any attention, you crept a finger up his lips, brushing past the plump flesh and swiping ever so lightly across his nose.
He quickly grabbed your hand and held it in place, deeply inhaling the scent that was on your fingers. Darting his tongue out to taste if it was in fact what he thought it was. Luckily the bustling conversations around the room were loud enough to cover the slight growl that erupted from his body.
Chanyeol flung your hand back to you and pulled out his phone from its place in his pocket. Fingers flying as they furiously typed a message to you.
A buzz later, you looked at your screen to see his message preview. It was short, you didn’t need to unlock the phone to read the entire message.
Upstairs bathroom. Now.
Nervously, you excused yourself from the room once more and made your way upstairs, down the hall to the bathroom located at the end, slipping inside and leaning against the countertop as you waited.
Growing impatient, you were just about to message and ask what the hold up was when the click of the door lock made you look up. And what a sight you saw.
Chanyeol, tall, dark, looming. Eyes dark and gaze full of lust. All of which causing you to grow wetter with the need for him.
“You think you’re funny? Hm? Playing your little games with me all night.”
“A little,” you smirked, “they certainly entertained me.”
Your smirk faltered as he took agonisingly slow steps toward you. Making you feel smaller with just his eyes and the intensity in which they stared at you.
When he finally reached you, he ran the back of his hand across your jaw back and forth before flipping it over and cupping your face with one large hand, you lightly leaned into the contact.
“You’re cute but I think you forgot who’s in charge here, baby girl.” he said in a low voice, tilting your chin up so he could look you directly in the eyes.
As he held your gaze with his eyes, his free hand slowly undid the tie of your wrap dress.
“It’s your birthday but why am I the one unwrapping the present?”
His eyes dropped to your body as the tie fell, your dress opening up along with it and revealing the luxurious lingerie set you had worn underneath. His hands ran appreciatively up and down your sides, squeezing into your flesh as he admired the sight. You drop your shoulders and allow the material to fall completely off your body.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna give your mum those grandbabies she keeps asking for.”
A hand wraps around the nape of your neck, pulling you in and crashing his lips to yours, tongue diving into your mouth and wrestling with your own. The other hand kneading your breast before caressing down to your hip, rounding to your ass and giving it a loud smack that makes you gasp and pull back to send him a glare. His deep voice chuckles as he strokes your sore cheek, lifting your thigh up to wrap around his hips. Opening your legs and feeling how hard he had become from the result of your antics tonight.
Your arms crossed over the back of his neck, holding him close so you could roll your heat into his hardness. Chanyeol's face dipped into the crook of your neck, biting into you and muffling the moans that were threatening to spill, bucking his hips in time with the movement of your own.
Suddenly, he drops to his knees and presses his face to your clothed pussy. Taking a deep breath and groaning at the mere smell of your need. His fingers dug under the elastic of your panties and moved them down your legs, almost ripping them in the process, earning him a light kick to his back.
With nothing in his way, he dived into your wetness, tongue dipping past your folds and lapping up the juices that had been leaking out of you. You braced yourself on your hands behind you on the countertop but they shot into his hair the moment he pointed his tongue and started licking at your clit. You tugged his locks with each swipe of his tongue against the sensitive bud.
You jumped at the feeling of his thick finger gathering the slick around your hole before sliding in, your back arching with the new sensation. He thrusted it in and out a few times before adding a second finger, scissoring them and stretching you out for what was to come.
His fingers combined with his skillful tongue could’ve been enough to make you see stars but you pushed his head away because it’s not how you wanted to finish tonight.
“W-want you, please,” you begged.
Chanyeol stood up, removing his fingers from you and motioned for you to open your mouth, which you obeyed immediately. He stuck his fingers inside your mouth and you began sucking on them, licking your own taste off his digits while your hands busied themselves with the unbuckling of his belt, popping the button open and pulling his zipper down. A hand immediately crept under the waistband of his underwear and wrapped around his length as the other pulled the damned piece of clothing down so you could grip him properly.
You stroked him as he kissed you, licking inside the cavern of your mouth and tasting you as if he hadn’t been at the source of the salty sweet just moments ago. You loosely wrapped your legs around his hips and nudged him closer. Chanyeol pulled your hand away from his cock and placed it on his shoulder.
“Might wanna hold on.”
He placed himself right at your entrance before looking up and planting a kiss on your forehead before plunging himself into you. Your other hand shot up to his shoulder, holding on for dear life as you both panted heavily. He started pumping himself in and out of you, every stroke angled just right and driving you to insanity.
“You’re so fucking tight, baby, I won’t last if you keep this up.”
“Then don’t,” you breathed, “give me your cum, please.”
Chanyeol growled, removing himself and bending you over the sink before driving his cock back into you, everything happening so fast you could barely register what had happened. He has one hand pressed into your back, holding you down while the other is gripped tightly on your hip, keeping you in place as his hips slam into you.
A moan is ripped from you as a particular thrust is angled just right and hits your sweet spot.
“Do you want everyone to hear you?”
But you can’t help it. The way he’s filling you and fucking you is just too good. Your attempt to subdue your moans ends with another being ripped from your throat.
A hand suddenly clamps over your mouth. However, instead of covering your mouth and keeping it closed, two fingers slip inside, hooking onto the side of your mouth and holding it open.
“Fine, be loud then. Cry out, baby, let them hear how good you’re getting fucked right now.”
Your eyes begin to roll back as you can feel your orgasm on the cusp of breaking over.
“Cum for me, baby girl.” his hips begin to stutter, a tell-tale he’s also near his peak, “Fucking cum right now!”
With his command, you feel your release gushing as your eyes squeeze shut, colours flying beneath your eyelids and you can feel his cock twitch, hot cum coating your insides, spurt after spurt. He falls forward, warm against your back but holds himself up on his forearm so he doesn’t suffocate you beneath his weight.
Moments pass as you each regain your breath and collect yourselves, remembering where you are right now and laughing when your eyes meet. He’s still half dressed and a hot, sweaty mess. Although, you couldn’t say you looked any better right now. You both quickly redressed and adjusted your clothes, doing your best to refresh yourselves and look as presentable as normal before clambering your way back downstairs to rejoin the family.
You both gained a few looks from some family members, prompting Chanyeol to apologise with the excuse that you needed some help with the zipper on your dress. Taking your previous seats on the couch, you felt a gaze burning into the side of your head so you turned to face your sister.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing, just funny how you don’t actually have any zips on that wrap dress you’re wearing.”
You were mortified. Chanyeol, however, had the smuggest grin on his face, dimple deeper than ever, earning him a smack to his chest that just released the boisterous laughter that he was holding in.
You are one of my favorite jongdae fanfic writers. When i read your stories i feel like i m watching a drama starring jongdae. Thank u so much for this awesome stories. I have a request, This days i miss him so much,so if u have any jongdae story recommendations please share with me. Thank you!
Hi! I have an old rec post you can refer to: https://www.tumblr.com/kimjongdaely/189118877479/oh-3kpop2jagi1-was-amazing-any-other?source=share
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