evil princess babygirl @chocorica - Tumblr Blog

finally revised that journal entry which I definitely miscontextualized a few months back and it did not break me like I feared it would. I think that the emotions have been gently venting out over the last few weeks. from feeling empowered enough to say it plainly to sharing the extent of my experience with Adam, I can say with absolute certainty that we found her and she trusts us too 🥺

#each recovery mission is so unique #some take multiple attempts over the course of a few months #but it's always worth it when it goes from a full affair to a casual reference #not because it's insignificant but because the repressed feelings behind it have finally been properly felt #personal

slowly building trust in myself as opposed to assigning preposterous expectations has been a lovely realization to stumble upon.

every time I showed up for myself. when I went to the dermatologist for the skin problems, the weight loss clinic for my physical appearance, the extensive research and curating of a personal style, when I went to pay for my sprained ankle and came out with a new hobby that made me stronger than ever, when I learned to make the foods that I craved but could no longer afford, when I accepted c's as a valid and respectable grade, when I took a medical break to grieve after not taking one to fully process what happened with my little brother. all those little moments added up to this. it's exponentially beyond the sum.

#the cycles are cycling #gears are turning and reckonings are now #personal

my high revelations have once again signaled the importance of going to bed at a sensible time so I can get enough restful sleep and have time to get ready in the morning. I'm talking walking the dogs, breakfast AND putting together sickening fits. how much time would that require? really that's the actual performance improvement plan like bye

#these are the details were life resides #everyone said they gathered enough inspo pics and videos #they are all ready to make some alchemy out of the whole thing #naturally I'm the manual labor #that's word to hegel masters/slave dialectic #personal

if there is something I can always count on, that's me doing what must be done to secure the calm.

#even if by a fleeting moment or a deluded illusion #11:30am pilates is the blessing #a candle that I benefit from keeping lit #personal

got the email that my pink heels have been shipped and honestly I'm blessed.

#I built this from the ground up!#my roman empire fr #personal

there really ain't shit to do online but shop and that's so tragic damn

#let me go play one of them lil games I got #as I wait patiently for the moment of truth #personal

so thankful even for this moment just laying down on the mattress as kenya packs her luggage. her apartment gets so much light it suited her so well 😭

#devastated but heavily medicated #the tears wont fall but I can feel my heart swell #personal

to sit in Kenya apartment while she pack up is so heartbreaking I really cannot believe this was it. 😭

#like I'm unconsolable #sick and throwing up #personal

blessed like that

#personal

it's so fascinating how calming a simple scent can be. calm and serene like if I was safely nested in a fluffy cloud scented of jasmine and lavender.

#I did a wee bit of writing and a wee bit of organizing #so naturally that shifted a few things within #that being my need to not shame myself for the shopping but instead understand and guide myself through it #shame is sneaky like that #personal

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Gaurav Gupta Spring 2024 Haute Couture

even in my sleepiest state I obsessing over shopping 😭

#like why am I like this #I know why #I'm not ready to feel it yet #personal

even in my sleepiest state I obsessing over shopping 😭

#like why am I like this #I know why #I'm not ready to feel it yet #personal

it feels good when my authentic self fight back. The bitch got a mean punch i'll tell you that 🤭

#they seent the material bye #personal

took a delicious nap, ate some pork fried rice then took all my meds plus vitamin d gummies. I am going to be sooo fucking regulated after nap number two ooooh weee

#big emotional breakthroughs really so require the utmost delicate handling of the self #now I'm thinking about sum desert #personal

pilates has been such a delightful time lately like I really have been able to focus on the muscle isolation and actually telling apart the differences of doing things one way vs another.

#form and function were never divorced from one another #some people are honestly just lazy #personal

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