Got me fucked up

Tweaker💨 Instagram: @Paravapour123 ☁Mainly just for me to look back on☁

[sohighsolow-deactivated20200711]

*abuses stimulants and still wonders why she doesn't sleep*

[nyomod]

Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason

Lil Peep - Star shopping

[ahs-64]

never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about

[wastedpoets]

I feel like I’m on the verge of mentally collapsing but as long as I do it with a smile on my face, the day will continue as if nothing has happened. My suffering shall exist only in silence. Those around me blind to my bleeding wounds.

[nachtschattenspiele]

"I'm a hard person to deal with, but also a person that would give you the world just to see your smile."

[annamariaizland]

“The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse.”

Dr. Meredith Grey

[sohighsolow-deactivated20200711]

I don't think I'll ever be high enough.

[the-drug-addicts-diary]

"drug addiction will give you connections you would never expect to have, feelings you never knew you could feel and life you would never be able to live, just so it could make you a person you never wanted to become."

- 111 minutes sober

[misswhocarestr]

[homietwt]

[jinx-charmed]

Being around you is the most intoxicating feeling

3am Thoughts // charmed-jinx

[bering-strait-deactivated202005]

addicts deserve food and housing, even if they don't want/aren't in treatment

[positivepatton]

I am incredibly proud of every recovering addict who got through New Years without relapsing.

And to those of you who did relapse- I still love, support, and believe in you. Recovery isn’t linear; relapse is not the beginning of the end.

[saffronstudiez-deactivated20250]

Dear diary

I feel like a boat lost in a storm.

[deactivated4397751-deactivated2]

Cold hands

Recover my recovery

From dead plans

Miss the buzz of pills

And blurry drunken nights

The thought of being numb

My heartbeat spikes

Wake up on cold floors

I guess I’m better off

With closed doors

Keys locked away in tight drawers

Memories faded with new found

Drugs

Feeling buzzed by being light

Empty stomach is my delight

Am I wrong

For this self sabotage

I guess it’s better

Than wishing I was gone

Maybe one day I’ll find

Where I belong...

[danielleelizabethhh]

Fear

What does fear mean to me? 

When I’m in, “fear” I run, run away from myself, everything. I once allowed fear to control my life- fear fueled my addiction among many other things. It was being in constant fear that controlled my every move in life. On the other hand fear also kept me alive in some twisted way- kept me on my feet and aware.  I believe that there are, “healthy fears” and “negative fears”. It’s normal to have those “negative fears” creep up on you here and there because it definitely happens to me. I just have to remind myself that I’m only human and it’s okay to have these fears, but it’s also up to me to turn around those thoughts because it’s my insecurities that are causing this. I became so use to being in unhealthy fear that I started believing the things I was telling myself- which wasn’t going to get me anywhere, but further down to self hatred. I’m becoming more in touch with my fears and insecurities so I can better control myself. Fears and behaviors also go hand in hand I believe. I’m learning the more I continue to reflect on the past and the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, and the things I’ve done was from fear, it was my behavior due to the fears I was creating for myself. Now, knowing that I put to practice what I’m slowly learning about myself, for when I do feel fearful in the present moment. Instead of reacting( like I usually would do, again that’s behavior) I reflect, breathe, remind myself of all the things I should be grateful for and let those fears go. The more I continue to be in touch with my thoughts, emotions, and feelings the easier it becomes to understand the root of it all. 

[drcouts]

Alcohol won’t resolve your problems, and won’t heal your pain. Drugs won’t resolve your problems, and won’t heal your pain. Dragging good people down with you, won’t resolve your problems, and won’t heal your pain.