hi, everyone.
i think i've finally come to the decision that i'm quitting tumblr.
it's been a long time coming, but after three, almost four years of being on this app, i think a chapter of my life is finally coming to an end. a chapter filled with anxiety, stress, and the constant pressure that i felt to write something, but also a chapter filled with so much joy, community, love, and people who have always had my back and supported me through everything.
i've met so many incredible people here, and even though i can't possibly write a message for every single person who has crossed my path (but trust, i would if i had the time 😭😭), i wanted to take the time to properly thank some of the people who made these years so special to me. some of you have been around since the very beginning, some came along later, and some of you aren't even active anymore, but every single one of you left some kind of mark on me and changed how my outlook on this community.
so, before i officially delete the app and close this chapter, i wanted to say a few things to those special people 🩷.
liv / @livvydunneness
liv. you were genuinely one of my very first mutuals on this app, and somehow you've managed to stick around through every single phase my account has gone through. we've watched each other grow and change over the years, and even if we didn't always interact constantly, you've always been someone i knew i could count on. i think you've grown with me in a way that's hard to explain, especially emotionally, and i'm so grateful that you've been here through all of it.
thank you for being basically my ride or die, even from a distance. thank you for supporting me through every weird era, every new fandom, every account change, every writing phase, and everything in between. i'm so lucky that one of the first people i met here ended up being someone i could still call a friend all these years later.
here's to three years of knowing each other, and two years of being moots!!!
i love you endlessly, liv. <3
her-favorite
although you deactivated a little while ago, there was absolutely no way i could make this post without mentioning you. you were such a huge inspiration to me, both as a writer and as a person, and you were always pushing me to keep writing with your endless support and encouragement.
we basically swore to always support each other no matter what, and knowing why you had to leave makes me hope that everyone here understands why i need to do the same now. i'll always carry the memories we made here with me, even if you're not on the app anymore to read this. you'll forever be in my thoughts, and i'll miss you and everything we created together on here more than you know!!!!
jana / @meiyokstarr
JANA MY TWINNNNNN!!! i could genuinely say so much about this lovely girl that i'd probably end up writing an entire separate goodbye post just for her. i can't even remember when you first commented or liked one of my posts because it was SO long ago, but somehow you've been around for what feels like forever 😭😭😭
i absolutely ADORE your work and, more importantly, i adore just how determined and hardworking you are when it comes to writing. i'm so glad that i was able to be even a little boost of inspiration for you during some of your harder or more uncertain moments, because you've done the exact same thing for me more times than you probably realize.
i've always loved talking to you because you're so high-energy and somehow match my energy perfectly 😭😭 i genuinely don't know how you do it. please keep writing if that's what makes you happy, but if you ever decide that you don't want to anymore, that's completely okay too. just never drop your chin <3
thank you for continuously showing up under my work for so, so long. thank you for every comment, every like, every silly interaction, every conversation, and every little bit of support you've given me. i don't think "mutual" is a good enough word for anyone i'm mentioning here, so thank you for being such an amazing friend.
and how could i end your part without a mention of the shoot your shot era?? dude, when i say that you were literally the NUMBER ONEEE supporter of that smau, i am being entirely truthful. it's genuinely crazy how you kept up with 63(?) chapters and hardly ever fell behind :( you really are the goat, jana, and i'll miss you more than words can express right now.
i love you so much twin, never forget it 🩷🩷
bear / @the-inactivebear
bear :( you've always been so incredibly sweet, and you were someone i was genuinely always excited to see pop up in my inbox, especially during the shoot your shot era. you've given me nothing but support and kindness for as long as i've known you, and i'm so incredibly grateful for every bit of it.
i'm going to miss your silly pictures and your even sillier messages so much 😭 you always managed to make my inbox a little more fun, and i'm really glad i got to know you during my time here. thank you for being such a sweet soul and for always making me feel supported.
dia / @xoluvx
DIAAA :(((
i miss when we used to interact all the time back when i was writing for billie, and honestly, it was a little sad when we drifted apart for a while. but even with the distance, you've remained someone i've always thought incredibly highly of. 🩷
i just want to thank you for being such a huge inspiration to me throughout all of my different fandoms and writing eras. you put so much love and effort into your work, and i've always admired that about you. genuinely, i strive to be as strong of a writer as you are, and i'm so grateful that i ever got the chance to know you and experience your work.
giving each other support paired with our silly little reblogs will always be one of my favorite memories from being on here. thank you for being part of that chapter of my life, dia.
i'll always be rooting for you!!!!
kara / @karaeilish
kara, my sweet girl <3 i'm not even sure if you're still active anymore, but there was absolutely no way i was going to leave you out of this post, especially alongside the people i'm about to mention.
i know i've said this about basically everyone already, but you were genuinely such an inspiration to me. you were always so kind and sweet, and you're such an amazing writer. i think one of my favorite memories has to be when we'd get anons confused because we'd flirt playfully in each other's inboxes and they'd automatically assume we were dating, only for us to turn around and lead them on with the most vague little messages 😭😭
that was genuinely one of the funniest things ever and i don't think i'll ever forget it. thank you for always matching my energy, for being so incredibly kind to me, and for just being such an amazing soul. i'm so happy i got to know you, even if our interactions aren't what they used to be.
I LOVE YOU KARA!!!!!
sofi / @sacredgene
SOFIIII!!!!! omg. another one of my greatest supporters ever, and i genuinely have far too many memories with you to even remember all of them.
what i do remember, though, is when we first started dming and sharing our drafts and wips with each other. i feel like that was when we really started creating such a special bond, especially because we could talk about music, our interests, random things we happened to have in common, and literally anything else we could find to connect over.
i think that's what made you so special to me. you weren't just someone i talked to about writing. you became someone i could genuinely connect with outside of that, too. i love love lovedddd your stories and everything you created, and i completely understand why you eventually chose to step away as well. i hope you know how much your presence meant to me while you were here.
i'm gonna miss all the fun we had in each other's inboxes so, so much :((( thank you for being such a wonderful friend and for giving me so many memories to take with me.
zara / @dragoneyelashart
ZARARARAAAAA!!!!! oh my gosh, there is genuinely SO much i could say about you and your insane talent for writing.
just like kara, we somehow ended up with dating rumors from anons a year ago 😭😭 that was seriously one of the funniest things that happened to me during my entire time on this app. the fact that people actually thought we were dating because of how we talked to each other and we lowk encouraged it just for the fun of it LMAOOO
you're such an amazing writer, but you're also such a kind and wonderful soul. i hope you continue doing whatever makes you happy, keep chasing your dreams, and keep creating things that you're proud of. you deserve every good thing that comes your way, and i hope you never forget how talented you are.
thank you for being someone i could always admire and look up to.
i love you so, so much, zara!!
blake / @47lake
although i'm not sure if you're still active here anymore, i absolutely could not leave you out of this post either, blake!!!!
you were always so funny and so incredibly kind to everyone in your circle, and you were always such a huge source of support for me back when i was writing for billie. even though we drifted apart after i stopped writing for her, i still thought about you and so many of my old friends more often than you probably realize.
it's strange thinking about how many people i've met here who aren't around anymore, but i'm grateful that i got to know you while we were. thank you for being part of one of the most memorable eras of my time on this app and for always being so supportive and wonderful. i'll always remember you fondly :)
leila, jeje, & brooklynn / @manonsdoe @miagamegirl @katskisses
GUYSYSYSSSS 🙁🙁
i know we didn't talk all that much, but there was absolutely no way i could make this post without including you three. all of you have always been insanely supportive of me and my writing as a whole, and i've genuinely never been more grateful to have been surrounded by such an amazing community of writers, readers, and friends.
even if we weren't constantly talking, your support never went unnoticed. every interaction, every kind message, every bit of encouragement meant more to me than you probably realized at the time.
you guys are genuinely amazing, and i hope you never lose your spark. keep being yourselves, keep creating, keep supporting each other, and keep doing whatever makes you happy. i'm going to miss all of you so, so much :(((
and last but not least, wing anon / @heavensentkennz
bruh. wing anon. wing goatnon. 🪽 anon.
im gonna miss you so much dude :( you were literally the most active anon i've ever had, something i always wished for back when i first started my account and saw everybody else's active anons. who would've known that i'd get what i wished for just a few years later?
it's pretty crazy looking back now, but i'm forever grateful that my wish came true even if it were just for a few months. you always made me laugh whenever you popped into my inbox, and i will be playing fortnite in your honor to get better at clips 🙂↕️🙂↕️
and to everyone i didn't include in this post, please don't think that means you weren't important to me.
there are so many people i've met over these three, almost four years that i could never possibly fit every single person into one post. there are people i've talked to every day, people i've only spoken to a handful of times, people i've drifted away from, people who deactivated years ago, and people who probably don't even realize how much their support meant to me.
you'll always still be in my heart and somewhere in the back of my mind 🩷. every person i've met, every friendship i've made, every silly interaction, every late-night conversation, every comment, every reblog, every piece of writing i've created, every piece of writing i've read—all of it became part of this chapter of my life.
and even though i'm leaving because i know it's what i need to do for myself, i don't want to look back at these years and only remember the anxiety, pressure, and stress. i want to remember the good, too. i want to remember the people who made me laugh, the people who encouraged me when i didn't believe in myself, the people who inspired me to become a better writer, and the people who made this app feel like home for a little while.
thank you for giving me a place to create. thank you for reading my work. thank you for letting me read yours. thank you for every friendship, every interaction, every memory, and every little piece of yourselves that you shared with me.
i don't know exactly what the future looks like for me creatively, and honestly, i don't think i need to know right now. i just know that it's time for me to close this chapter and start another one somewhere else.
despite me leaving, i will be keeping this account up for my works to still be able to be read and enjoyed by others.
three, almost four years is a long time. i think i've said everything i needed to say.
i love you all so much.
goodbye,
ami.