hello everyone.
i know the start of this post may seem like all the others, that i'm taking a break and all that stuff, but i want to make it very clear that this one is going to be different from the ones i've taken in the past.
a lot of you probably remember the account that used to exist under the username jorlandoforever, which was made to discuss the controversies with jonah david and orlando. the account eventually deactivated after it came to light that some (i'm not sure if it was all them, so please forgive me) people running the account were minors who had been repeatedly engaging in inappropriate conversations with other creators on this app through a discord server and even requesting smut from authors. i was one of those authors, and upon seeing everything be revealed during that time, i felt disgusting. i'm not going to explain everything else that happened back then, because that isn't really the point of this post.
a day or so ago, someone who i will not be naming came into my inbox. shortly afterward, i received an anonymous ask from someone claiming that that same person was one of the underage admins behind the jorlandoforever account. they also pointed out that the way they texted was identical to the way the eyeball anon spoke, and when i went to see if that was true, it was. what shocked me even more was that some people who interact with my blog may know them as well.
i'm going to completely truthful and transparent: that made me extremely uncomfortable.
i'm not going to sit here and pretend that it didn't, or that i'm somehow supposed to be okay with it and brush it off as some sick "joke" just because i don't have every possible detail or confirmation about who is behind what account. because i've dealt with something similar before, when an author who had plagiarized another creator's work attempted to interact with me through another username and entirely different account. that situation alone already made me pay more attention to the people who follow me, along with making me uncomfortable and angry, and finding myself in a remotely similar position again has made me realize that i need to take a full step back.
and before anyone gets any ideas, THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO GO DIGGING THROUGH MY BLOG, HARASS ANYONE, SEND PEOPLE THREATENING MESSAGES, OR START ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT NEED TO BE STARTED. i am deliberately not naming anyone. if you think you know who i'm talking about, please keep it to yourself. i'm setting a boundary for myself, not asking anyone else to involve themselves.
i've always tried to make this blog a place where everyone could feel welcome. i've never wanted to make people feel excluded, no matter who they are, what they identify as, and whatever age they are, and i've genuinely loved having such a wide range of people interact with my work. ever since i opened this blog, i've encouraged minors to be very careful on the media that they consume on here, but i can't control what people choose to read or choose not to read. i do admit i could've been more adamant about that. but unfortunately, i'm getting to a point where i may have to reconsider that entirely. if i eventually decide that i can't comfortably have minors interacting with my blog anymore, that will be a boundary i put in place for my own comfort and i will enforce this entire account as mdni. please don't take that as me hating minors or blaming every young person that follows me, because i know that a handful of people are capable of reading responsibly.
i'm honestly really sad that this is where i've ended up. i've become incredibly fond of this community, and there are so many people here that i genuinely appreciate and love reading their work from. i don't want one or two uncomfortable situations to erase all of the good experiences i've had here, but i also don't think i should have to sacrifice my own comfort just to keep the peace.
so, for now, i'm deciding to take a full step back from tumblr.
unlike the others, i most likely won't be interacting with anyone during this break. please don't take it personally if i don't answer messages, respond to posts, or interact with your pieces of writing. i just need some distance from the community as a whole rather than trying to pick and choose who i feel comfortable talking to.
the chances of me coming back are very, very high. i love writing, i love my blog, and i love the people i've met here far too much to say that i'm leaving forever. but i also don't think i'll be coming back anytime soon—as in a handful of months. i need to give myself enough time to actually feel comfortable again instead of rushing back because i miss everyone.
thank you to everyone who has made this place feel safe, welcoming, and enjoyable for me. i appreciate you more than i can properly put into words 🩷.
and one last time: I AM NOT NAMING ANYONE. PLEASE DO NOT TURN THIS INTO A HUNT FOR WHO I AM REFERRING TO. if you think you know, you can keep that information to yourself. i'm stepping away because i want peace, and i'd really appreciate if everyone respected that.
important tags. @meiyokstarr @manonsdoe @miagamegirl @av4nzini