Bringing this over here not to bother op, but today I came across this post about the deaf experience which is a lovely comic! But a friend (sorry @fireandgrimstone) posted these tags that I think have room to start a nice discussion. Disclaimer in advance that I'm really not trying to start discourse, I just have feelings ecdvefcds
Pretty sure this is about A Sign of Affection, though I'm sorry for the ramble if I'm wrong. But if it is. I think... there is a misconception and a misunderstanding going on here with what both the post and the anime in question are conveying about the deaf experience. It's true that the character in the anime is talked around or talked about in third person, that people are sometimes ableist to her intentionally and unintentionally, but aren't those challenges the op of the post itself mentions experiencing? Being talked about, but not spoken to; being looked at, but not seen.
Is depicting those experiences at all bad? Should the anime have erased the fact that a deaf young woman will experience ableism even from people who don't mean to hurt her? I'm not disabled in this particular way, but I've discussed this with a hoh friend before composing this and I can say that at least to her, those experiences felt realistic to see on screen.
And bringing up that Yuki - the series main character - is demure feels like missing the point of her. She's a nineteen year old girl, who grew up in a hearing family and is only recently being able to branch out into adulthood. Why is it bad or unrealistic that she isn't picking fights left and right about her disability? That she has opinions and takes issue with those mindsets - because she does, that is the point of the character of her childhood friend for one, that some people in her life think it would be best if she were sheltered and she isn't listening to them - but handles them more delicately?
There's just something complicated to saying that the disability representation isn't good if isn't with loud combative characters. Not everyone handles ableism that way, and it feels wrong to place that burden on the disabled person's shoulders to be the one to consistently bring those issues in their daily life in their every relationship.
I'm not sure if my point is coming across well, I just... think it's hurtful to say that what by all means is not a far off representation of the very issue op brought up with their art is bad representation when those are things that happen to people, and how one (fictional, but the point stands) individual deaf person deals with these things doesn't need to be the perfect example for every deaf person in the world.
Oh I don't think its bad at all to depict it, and I phrased it poorly when I wrote those tags on a whim and promptly forgot about them (which was insensitive and badly thought out, I'm sorry.) I was just expressing frustration with the way she was isolated and, as far as I had seen, none of her close friends seemed to even notice or try to change that, and so I did put the burden on her to be louder. But I don't think anyone should have the sole responsibility to change the way others treat them because that responsibility is on all of us, myself included, and the only way to achieve that is to talk about it, hence using Yuki as a vehicle for that.
I don't think A Sign of Affection is bad representation, either. I just personally was bothered by it because of what I was taught in school about deafness and their experiences growing up being entirely surrounded by hearing people. I enjoyed what I saw of the show, but I still just don't like how she always seems to be ignored in situations with more than one hearing person around.
I will say, I appreciated that her childhood friend was potentially a starter for this discussion in the show, as he did explicitly say at one point that he feels that Yuki (and all deaf/hoh people) should be "shielded" (I don't remember his exact phrasing) because the world is most of the time not outfitted for them to exist comfortably and safely, but like I said I hadn't seen all of it so I don't know if this gets addressed later in any way.
And that's mostly where my frustration is. I want to see it addressed. I want to see someone say, "Yuki, what do you think about (x)" and include her when she struggles to keep up. I want to see her include herself as she gets more comfortable in herself, and be unapologetic about existing. I just hadn't. It wasn't a serious criticism to say its bad rep or it shouldn't be depicted by any means.
Edit: In thinking deeper about it and about what the show has to say about Yuki as a person, I think I can see how wrong I was in my initial assumption.
Yuki is the antithesis to her childhood friend's beliefs. Her goal is to see more of the world and experience everything that is out there for her, and the two guys in her life who have (however one-sided) romantic ties to her are the embodiment of that.
She acknowledges a few times that the childhood friend always seems to sign condescendingly at her, while the guy she falls for has a very open and warm tone when he signs. The juxtaposition of these two in her life is a big part of the commentary on this, and her chosen love interest is synonymous with her pursuing her goals.
I think I was just blinded by my discomfort with a scene between her, her boyfriend and his friend where the two hearing people start talking about a fourth person that her boyfriend had turned down romantically and she turned away from them and thought, "I don't think they want me to hear this." The discomfort was, I hope, an intentional product of that. I can see how all of this could be paving the way for a deeper discussion about it later in the series.
Your edit is perfect and I don't think I have much more to say now haha. Yeah, I think Yuki is an interesting example of someone who is shyer, but not weak willed. She's the driving force of her own narrative, she's the one who made the first step to be with the guy she likes, she's curious about travel, she made the decision to go to college in spite of people like her best friend trying to tell her it wasn't the best choice for her because of her deafness. Her defiance of those ableist assumptions is quieter, but it does exist, and I think it's interesting to also show the sort of ableism she does put up with or excuse a little bit on her daily life, because calling out every incident ever is also a very isolating experience, and I understand where she's coming from when she doesn't.
But I do think we're meant to be uncomfortable with her when those things happen like you said. We're seeing how it feels to be in her shoes, which will hopefully make some viewers then not be that friend to the deaf/hoh people they encounter.
I think I'm a bit ahead of you in the story, and I really do think it has more interesting things to say on the issues you're concerned about, so all I can say there is to keep watching/reading! It's a good time.
