Banana Split
fuck it fat jin. also tw // some vague talk abt body image issues/dieting
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āJin?ā
Seokjin looks up from his banana split sundae and then freezes, nearly dropping the spoon in his grasp.
āYoongi?ā
āItās been a while,ā Yoongi says. He gestures to the empty chair opposite Seokjin at the table. āMind if I sit?ā
āGo ahead.ā Yoongi does, immediately slouching as he settles in. Seokjin tries to smile, but it feels like more of a grimace. He rests his spoon into the ice cream dish. āWhat have you been up to?ā
āBeen working on writing movies and shit. Livinā the dream. You?ā
Well.
Seokjinās sitting in a little ice cream parlor thatās miles and miles away from his hometown. Heās eating a gigantic banana split (or was, really, seeing as the shock of running into Yoongi somewhat sapped his appetite), and heās much, much bigger than he was in high schoolāthan he was when he last interacted with Yoongi.
āIām an attorney,ā he says. I went through a really bad breakup and I used food to cope, he doesnāt say.
But lovely Yoongi, lovely but acerbic Yoongi, has made no indication that he noticed Seokjinās substantial weight gain. āYou always did love arguing,ā Yoongi muses, punctuating the thought with a laugh. āBet youāre the most annoying attorney in town.ā
How bold it is, Seokjin thinks, that Yoongi talks exactly as they did when they were best friendsāyears and years ago. āIām the best attorney in town, actually,ā he retorts. āDo you write those shitty Hallmark films?ā
Yoongi laughs, Seokjin laughs. They calm and just look at each other for a weird minute. āNothingās changed, has it?ā
It almost seems like a joke, considering that Seokjin is easily twice the size he was the last time they bantered like this. But the look in Yoongiās eyes is mirthful, his smile is sincere, and, in this moment, something long dormant blooms within Seokjin.
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They donāt talk about it.
Ever since their chance encounter at the ice cream parlor, Yoongi and Seokjin have been spending a lot of time together.
It all began with one spontaneous night, where Yoongi had asked Seokjin if heād wanted to grab dinner over text. Theyād gone to get burgers, cheap and easy, thoughāmuch as he did at the ice cream parlorāSeokjin found himself self-conscious when he was near Yoongi, particularly when food was involved. This, of course, is a foreign sensation; Seokjin is nothing if not unapologetically himself, taking up a vast amount of space both literal and figurative. But Yoongiāwith Yoongi, itās different.
Perhaps itās the feelings Seokjin held for Yoongi in high schoolāmore specifically, their reappearance. All it took was one meager chance conversation to reignite the spark that he had long since doused in distance.
Yoongi has yet to mention Seokjinās bodyāas it should be, probably, but something about the silence sets Seokjin on edge. Is Yoongi silently judging him? Seeing as all of their excursions thus far have included food and eating in some way, shape, or formāmaybe. But maybe not.
Seokjin comes a little bit closer to the answer when they go out for Mexican food.
āIāve been trying to go to the gym,ā Yoongi says, dipping a tortilla chip in salsa before biting it with a satisfying crunch. āIām interested in what itās like to not be a fucking twig. I look like Iām twelve.ā
Seokjin laughs. āI mean, the heightās not helping.ā He dips a couple of chips in queso and stuffs both of them in his mouthāheās grown a bit more comfortable with being a glutton around his crush. āRemember when the hall monitor thought you were in middle school?ā
āYeah, now I do,ā Yoongi growls, but it has no bite. āThat was like, the worst thing to ever happen to me in high school. And that one fight I lost.ā
āBecause you were too small?ā Seokjin snorts.
āYeah,ā he says, more dejected this time. āBut I was so close! If that fucker had been a couple of inches shorter I wouldāve won, easy.ā He sighs. āYouāre lucky, Jin. Youāve always been big.ā
As if registering what he just said, Yoongi freezes, eyes widening. Seokjin freezes, too, and pulls his hand away from where it was hovering near the bowl of tortilla chips in the middle of the table.
āFuck, JināI mean like, tall. And your shouldersāā
āNo, itās fine,ā Seokjin says softly. āI got fat.ā Conflicting emotions swirl around in his bloated stomach. He takes a look at Yoongiās now-apologetic expression and huffs a small laugh, more just a puff of air than anything. āIām actually surprised you didnāt bring it up sooner.ā Then, he runs a hand down his massive flabby belly, stroking it. Heās not sure why he does it, as itās a somewhat awkward action, especially when performed in a public place. āItās a lot.ā
Yoongi glances down at Seokjinās hand as its movement causes the mass to jiggle, but he resituates his gaze onto Seokjinās face just as quickly. āItās not a big deal.ā
āBut you feel bad for acknowledging it.ā
āWellāā Yoongi says, āthatās a total asshole thing to do.ā
āBut you are an asshole,ā he jokes. His hand rests still on his gut, and he can feel the machinations of his digestive system. Although heās taken the liberty of eating over half of the chips and all of the queso, heās still starving.
āYeah. But yāknow, it really doesnāt matter. I donāt give a fuck whether someoneās fat or thin or whatever. Itās whatās on the inside that counts.ā
āWow,ā Seokjin says, fake-swooning, āa true gentleman.ā
Yoongi kicks his foot under the table, which instigates an oddly intense game of footsie that leaves Seokjin a little breathless by the time their meals arrive.
Their meals are both very differentāSeokjinās got pollo con queso, which is a deep-fried monstrosity smothered in creamy sauce and cheese, plus he ordered two beef tacos and a burrito a la carte. Yoongi, on the other hand, has chicken fajitas. Itās got a ton of vegetables in it and, much to Seokjinās chagrin, Yoongi doesnāt even eat the tortillas provided with it.
āIf youāre not going to eat the tortillas then you should give them to me,ā Seokjin whines after heās polished off his entire meal, side of beans and rice and all. āIām still hungry. Friends donāt let friends starve.ā
āWho said we were friends,ā Yoongi says as he scoots the basket of rolled-up tortillas toward Seokjin. āAre you just gonna eat them plain?ā
Seokjin, whose face is already stuffed with tortilla, answers with a muffled yes.
When theyāre ready to leave, Seokjin discovers that heās a bit fuller than he thought; it takes some effort to stand from his seat since his distended stomach is practically pinning him down. Then, when he gets into Yoongiās car, he has trouble clicking his seatbelt into placeāhis ass is wide and his reach is limited.
āHere,ā Yoongi says after he gets in the driverās seat and starts the car. He leans over the console and takes the buckle from Seokjin before clicking it into place, his hands briefly brushing over the fat folds in Seokjinās side. The lighting in the car is dimāitās nighttime and only the streetlights provide illuminationābut Seokjin sees Yoongiās pale cheeks turn rosy.
Neither of them say anything after that, the atmosphere thick with inexplicable tension. Once Seokjin is at home and in bed, the image of Yoongi delicate and slender hands against Seokjinās mass sticks with him until he falls asleep.
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Itās a while until Seokjin tells Yoongi the story.
āI started dating him in sophomore year of college,ā he says, scooping a bite of triple fudge brownie a la mode into his mouth. āHe was really athleticāhe was accepted on a soccer scholarship, actuallyāand his lifestyle easily influenced mine.ā
Yoongi nods. His half-eaten cup of sorbet is melting.
āAt first, it was really nice. He stuck to a raw vegan diet but he always made really good meals, and all of our dates were centered around physical activity: hiking, running, biking⦠He actually referred to us going to the gym as a ādateā.ā He smiles and takes another huge bite. āIt really did feel good, and after a few months I got super fit. I was toned and slender and he began to worship my body. Which was interesting, seeing as I began to feel like I looked nowhere as good as he did. So I guess I got a little obsessive.ā
āYou felt insecure?ā
Seokjin nods. āHe was a college athlete. As our physical intimacy increased, I felt greater pressure to be as good as him. To look as good as he did. So, I started to get really strict about my diet.ā He takes another bite. āI went vegan to emulate him. But I also obsessively counted calories and eliminated things that I felt were ābadā, like bananas, since theyāre high in sugar and carbs. Needless to say, I fell deeper into that sad little body-image hole.ā
āThatās the worst. Iām sorry that happened to you, Jin,ā Yoongi says sincerely.
āItās fine. Everythingās okay now. Well.ā he looks down at himself, his body. His shirt clings tightly to his chest and stomach, and he can feel the fabric stretch with every breath that heaves his belly up and down; his thighs are pressed tightly against each other, and even like this the fat spills off the side of the ice cream parlor chair. āIām not just eating one apple for every meal, so I guess itās better.ā
āIt is,ā he says seriously.
āYeah.ā Seokjin pushes his empty plate away from him and rests a hand on his stomach. āI like eating, but sometimes I feel bad about letting myself go this much. My ex would be so disgusted if he saw me like this.ā
āWell, fuck him then.ā Yoongiās sorbet has completely liquefied. āHe doesnāt deserve you. Hell, Iāll bet youāre hotter than him at literally any sizeāā at this, Yoongi blushes and looks down at the ground. āAnd, yeah. Fuck him.ā
The outburst both amuses and endears Seokjin. āItās fine. He really wasnāt a bad guy; I hid my problems from him until everything imploded.ā He takes his hand off his belly and leans forward, the edge of the table digging into his fat rolls. He lays his elbows onto the surface of the table. āYou know, Yoongi, Iām really glad we ran into each other.ā
āMe too.ā Yoongi scratches the back of his head. āI canāt believe we didnāt keep in touch after we graduated.ā He grins. āEven after all these years, youāre still my best friend.ā
āYeah.ā He thinks itās the comfort he finds in sitting in this little ice cream parlor that allows him to deliver this semi-non sequitur: āBack then, I had the biggest crush on you.ā
Yoongi grows redder. āW-well,ā he says, fiddling with the ring on his right index finger. āMaybe I did, too.ā
They smile at each other like idiots.
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Spontaneity seems to be their thing, Seokjin thinks as Yoongi presses him up against the wall in his apartment.
Following their spontaneous confession, they resolve to go back to Yoongiās place and talk to figure out what they will mean going forward.
But in lieu of having a mature conversation about their feelings, Yoongi decides that he doesnāt want to wait any longer.
Seokjin engulfs Yoongi when they kiss due to his greater height and stature. He mentions this when they pull apart for air, and Yoongi nearly moans.
āYeah, youāre fuckinā huge,ā he says, groping and kneading at Seokjinās gut. But then he looks up at Seokjin with an expression that asks Is this okay?
And, to Seokjinās surprise, the degradation goes straight to his dick. He pulls Yoongi back in and kisses him with vigor.
āI wanted to fuckinā jump you when I saw you in that ice cream shop stuffing your fat face,ā he says, breathless from their kiss. āWatching you eat makes me so hard. You know how many fuckinā boners I had to will away? I donāt know how I could hold conversation with youāall of my blood went straight to my dick. Fuck,ā he moans when Seokjin mouths at his throat.
They end up in Yoongiās bed, Seokjin leaning back against the headboard while Yoongi rides him, playing with Seokjinās huge gut, kissing and sucking hickeys all over it.
Yoongi lays his head onto his stomach after they finish. Seokjin soothingly runs his fingers through Yoongiās hair.
āCan I stuff you sometime?ā Yoongi asks once theyāve cooled down.
āI always get stuffed whenever we go out,ā he jokes.
āYeah, but I want to feed you.ā He reaches over and runs his hand over Seokjinās chins. āMake you feel good and full.ā
Seokjin takes Yoongiās hand and kisses it. āSure. You already make me feel good, though.ā
Yoongi breathes. āI think I love you.ā
Seokjin laughs. āI think I love you, too.ā
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Something about it feels like it was inevitable, like their reunion was written in the stars. Like theyāre meant to be.
Theyāre meant to be here, in Seokjinās kitchen, with Yoongi assisting Seokjin in consuming five orders of fried rice.
āJust a little bit more,ā Yoongi encourages when Seokjin sets the box and chopsticks down to catch his breath. āYouāre so close.ā
āUh huh,ā he mumbles, dazed and stuffed, feeling as his stomach expands more and more. There was room between his gut and the edge of the table when he first sat down. But now? Not so much. None at all, actually.
āYou can do it. Youāre so amazing.ā Yoongi uses one hand to massage his boyfriendās swollen belly and the other to guide a bite to his mouth.
Seokjin swallows everything Yoongi feeds him. When he succeeds in eating everything, he leans his head back and takes deep breaths.
āThat was a lot.ā Yoongi kisses his cheek as he continues to rub his belly. Seokjin just smiles, too tired to properly respond.
They take it easy the rest of the eveningāthat is, until Seokjinās stomach growls while theyāre watching a movie on the couch.
Yoongi looks over to him. āAre you hungry again, baby?ā
Truthfully, Seokjin is embarrassed; never has he been able to get hungry again so soon after eating so much. The thought makes the tips of his ears burn, and he loves it. āYeah, kind of.ā
Thatās how Seokjin finds himself in their favorite little ice cream parlor, devouring two banana splits. This time, Yoongi isnāt even eating anythingāheās content to observe Seokjin.
āThese chairs probably wonāt be able to hold your weight soon,ā Yoongi teases. āI bet one day youāll break one. Youāll have to heave your fat ass off the ground.ā
āBut you would help me, dipshit.ā Seokjin picks up the ice cream dish and tips the excess melted ice cream straight into his mouth. Some of it drips onto his shirt.
āIām gonna have to go everywhere with you, then? Youāll be that helpless?ā
Without much of a pause, he digs into the second banana split. āI bet you want that, you pervert.ā
āI do,ā Yoongi says lowly. āI want to see you become so fat that you get too lazy to walk.ā
āThatāll probably come sooner than you think.ā Seokjin finishes off the sundae and drinks the melted ice cream into his mouth again, more running down his chins, his front. He places the dish down onto the table with an air of finality and goes to wipe the mess off his face. Though, since he uses the back of his hand, he only ends up smearing everything around. āLike right now,ā he jests, but really Yoongi will almost definitely have to help him get out of this chair.
And he does, eventually, and Yoongi also assists him in buckling his seatbeltājust like that one night. But Seokjinās definitely gained weight since then, as itās gotten more difficult to push back all of the adipose that spills out and presses against the console.
Seokjin dozes off on the drive back, full and content. Yoongi laughs when he begins snoringāitās gotten worse, lately, and rather than annoying he just finds it cute.
When they get home, Yoongi has to shake him awake. āHey sleepyhead.ā
Seokjin cracks one eye open. āHey dumbass. Let me sleep here. Donāt wanna move.ā
It takes some goading, but Yoongi helps him out of the car and into bed. Yoongi climbs in with him and tentatively pillows his head on Seokjinās belly. āThis okay?ā he whispers. Sometimes, when Seokjinās too full, pressure on his stomach just makes him feel sick.
āItās fine,ā he responds, yawning. āThanks, Yoongi. For being so gentle.ā
āOf course I am.ā He runs his hands along Seokjinās stretch marks. āI love you.ā
He smiles. āI love you, too.ā
They lay in silence, their eyes closed but neither of them sleeping. Then, Seokjinās stomach emits a grumble.
Neither of them sleep that night.















