Do I dare disturb the universe?

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boring update on my life

for those of you who still care/remember who I am/etc. (how do I still have 6000+ followers????) You guys rock... it's so amazing to log in after months and have messages. You seriously have no idea how much it means to me. <3

Anyway, apparently some of you want to know how I am and what I'm doing, so I'll brief you on some of the important stuff:

after ages of lamenting about being a crazy spinster cat lady forever, I hAvE a BoYfRiEnD?!?! A real one, too, not a picture of Ryan Gosling that I printed out and kept in my planner for motivation. We dressed up as Mitt Romney and a binder full of women for Halloween and that's pretty much how our relationship is.

I have changed my mind about what I want to do about 8000000000 times so don't ask me that or I might cry.

lol remember when I thought I had a lot of homework in high school?? Seriously though, I actually really love 99% of what I do here. Even when that means writing papers or spending hours in the library reading for class. I'm finally really interested in everything I study, and my professors are beyond engaging and encouraging. tl;dr yay school!

I'm going on a service trip to South America this summer so guess who's getting a tan??? (not me lol #whitegirlproblems)

I might be getting a puppy this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's 2 in the morning and idk what else

oh one time I was walking around New Haven at like 3 am and some rando asked me if he could use my hair to make a magic potion... that's not really important to my life but I just remembered that so I figured I'd share  

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okay well i have to actually finish homework now, but i'll try and come on again later!

love you guys. :)

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itsighsinmysleep replied to your post: itsighsinmysleep replied to your post:...

Oh cool! Your freshman year is usually really fun, and a little stressful, but more fun than anything!

Haha it's definitely been fun and more than a little stressful so far! I'm having such an amazing time, though.

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itsighsinmysleep replied to your post: itsighsinmysleep answered your question: How are...

Are you just starting college?

haha yes! freshman year holla

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why are people still reblogging this 

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nervous-in-the-service answered your question: How are all of you?? I haven’t really talked to...

since you’ve been gone i started watching arrested development and boy has my life improved

that's what i like to hear

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itsighsinmysleep answered your question: How are all of you?? I haven’t really talked to...

You’re back! Hi!

Not, like, officially*... I just wanted to check in and say hi to everyone! :)

*may change when I have more to procrastinate

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sn4kes answered your question: How are all of you?? I haven’t really talked to...

OMG HEY

HELLO

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it says i have 5 messages but none of them show up

what is going onnnnnnnnn

if you sent me something and i don't reply, i promise i'm not ignoring you! :(

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How are all of you?? I haven't really talked to any of you in soooooo long.

question marks????

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life update 2, not-really-an-update edition: how perf is britney on the x-factor? 

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LIFE UPDATE

Hey friends. It's been awhile.

So, I know in my last post (like, 80 years ago...) I promised that I'd check in every so often to tell everyone how/what I'm doing because apparently some of you weirdos are interested in my life. More interested than I am? Possibly.

My summer was basically really boring and I spent most of it watching netflix, so I'll just kind of skip that and talk about school (I mean tbh you all have known me long enough to know that I love talking about school.) 

Short version: LOVE

Long version: When I first got here I definitely had a bit of a meltdown. My roommate is insanely nice and I'm completely obsessed with her, but I was feeling really lonely and homesick and afraid that no one was going to like me. It was such a shock because I've fantasized about being here for so long that I never really thought about the tough parts. I totally nearly came on here to cry to you all about how I wanted to transfer home and go to community college and never grow up and just be a professional blogger 5ever omg~ but luckily I've moved past that stage and made actual, real-life friends. WHAT. For the first time ever I feel like I truly belong somewhere and it's AMAZING. I even have a (omg) gentleman friend and we're having a romantic dinner date tomorrow night and everything's happening, guys.

None of that was actually about school, but that part's way less interesting. I'm taking predictably hard, time-consuming, but enjoyable classes. The libraries are really pretty (read: they look like Hogwarts) so I'm actually studying and doing homework!!! #progress I've joined a bunch of clubs and obvs an a cappella group because, hello, it's Yale. I've gotten about 10 hours of sleep total this week, but I'm over it.

Soooo that's about it. I'm not sure what else to update you guys on, but if you have any questions I'll be on for a bit while I do homework.

Love you guys!! :)

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The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

So judging by some of the messages I've received, some of you think I'm dead. So here I am, letting all of you know that I am, in fact, alive. So hi.

I guess I owe you guys an explanation of where I've been because I've gotten to be quite close to some of you and I don't want to leave everyone hanging. As some of you know, I've struggled with an eating disorder for several years, and all of the stress that this year brought, I relapsed. Hard. So what basically happened is I fainted at school at the end of May and was admitted to the hospital, where I was officially diagnosed with anorexia. I guess my mom had known for a while because she came to visit me armed with several treatment brochures that she'd planned on giving to me once I finished the school year. Her ultimatum was this: she couldn't force me to get treatment since I'm 18, but if I didn't at least try, she wan't going to pay for Yale. Yikes. So, after a lot of arguing and upset I decided that I'd "try" because I sure as hell wasn't going to give up Yale. Long story short, after an initial rough start in the residential program, I realized I loved my therapist and all the girls I was there with, and I'm doing loads and loads better now and I think it's really working.

I think somewhere along the line, it clicked that I physically would not be able to do the whole college thing, no matter how much I wanted to, if I didn't start taking care of myself. So even though it's been hard, and every day is a struggle, things are definitely improving and I'm feeling a million times better than I think I ever had. Anyway, I'm home on a day pass today, but I'll probably still be in residential treatment for another couple weeks. After that I'll be in an intensive outpatient program until I move out to New Haven, where I'll find a new therapist and support group and simultaneously kick eating disorder AND freshman year ass. 

OTHER LIFE NEWS, if anyone is interested:

I found out my residential college is say what? SAYBROOK (aka the one I wanted aka a gigantic castle)

I'm officially going to Paris for my birthday!

My roommate is awesome and calls me every other day

I'm going to see Bon Iver in September whaddup

that's it idk my life is really boring right now

If you have any questions about what's going on feel free to ask! I'll be on for another half hour or so, and I'll try to check my blog more often when I have the chance. Also, I know quite a few people with EDs follow/have followed me or whatever, so if you want to know anything about what the recovery process is like definitely talk to me. I'm here for you! 

Also: just to let everyone know, I don't think I'm ever going to be super active here again. I'm not going to delete my blog or anything in case I change my mind, but right now I need to focus on my health and school and everything else going on in my life, so blogging just doesn't fit in very well. I love you all. <3

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Actually, i take that back. I'm not very interesting, but i do like you. So if you'd want to talk to me sometime off-anon i'd like to. Except you'd have to ignore everything i said and just pretend i'm someone saying hi, otherwise it makes you biased.

omg yes please talk to me!!! I'm going to bed now, but I have a paper to procrastinate tomorrow sooooooo I'll need internet conversation. :)

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untitled by Lina Scheynius on Flickr.

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