Yay?

"Guess I gotta guess why all the girls avoid me like poison."

[classlessclown]

I was supposed to get a shipment last night, and I stillhaven't heard anything from the guy. I'd hate to have to go and break someone's legs. Who am I kidding, I'd love that. 

[dysfcnxtional]

"It’s okay. I-I get it. You’re not freaking me out, promise. Actually, I liked that kiss…we should do it again…um, so, does this mean you like me too?"

[classlessclown]

I am one hundred percent into you, always have been. We should totally do it again. And again. And again. I can't believe this is happening. I feel like I'm gonna wake up, because this is usually how my dreams go.

[dysfcnxtional]

At the idea of helping Holden get rid of a dead body, Avery’s stomach lurched slightly, a feeling of unease washing over her. But she couldn’t exactly say no, could she? He was her husband now, after all. “For better or for worse.” She muttered, although, she wasn’t quite sure if it was for her benefit or his. She nodded quickly and started making her way towards the door. “Fine. Tell me what we need to do.”

[classlessclown]

A sigh of relief escaped Holden's lips as she repeated her vow, although he knew that she could change her mind at any moment. He knew that this was no easy thing to ask, but he had a feeling that this could bring them closer together. "Okay, grab those gloves over there. We can get her body in here and then figure it out from there." His eyes found hers and searched for something, anything hopeful. "We're okay, right?"

[classlessclown]

I'M BACK

[classlessclown]

Just in case there's anyone out there who even noticed I haven't been on, sorry for the disappearance. I have been going through a rough patch but I will probably be back next week. I will revamp things a little bit, work on actual bios, set up universe pages, etc. in the meantime. 

[classlessclown]

✉ → she who shall not be named

Bambi: listen i just agreed to be your friend so don't push it

Bambi: he's an electrician so technically he could be workin a pole

Holden: is that a threat little miss

Holden: wrong pole bambi

Holden: lol jk hahaha see joke, very funny.

[februcryair-blog]

The pity store is closed today, sorry. Jungle juice and green bean casserole were my vices! Thanksgiving is overrated anyway. I mean, do we really need one day to be thankful for everything? Besides, that evening, people line up to fight citizens to the death for a great deal on a television. Also, stuffing gives you diarrhea. True fact. Fuck thanksgiving. 

[classlessclown]

Tell that to Howard. Ew, green beans. You're nasty. I still don't understand why it's a holiday. Commercialization at it's best. Oh yeah, fuck that. You know how many people die every Black Friday from being fucking trampled? Fuck Thanksgiving. Fuck Black Friday. Fuck you. Fuck the lottery. Fuck the police. I'm out. 

[dewkoskysalve-deactivated201501]

It seems like it would be a lot of work, dating someone with a kid. I’m glad it hasn’t come up yet. I know what you mean. I’m fully aware that I’m not ready to have children yet. I love food so much, you have no idea. I’m definitely that kind of a person. I promise to never steal your coffee.

[classlessclown]

Yeah, dating is already a lot of work. Adding a kid would kinda be like torture. I wish it didn't keep coming up for me, how many times can you tell a guy that you don't want to bang his daughter before he gets it? Oh yeah, well, what's your favorite food? I'm going to remember that promise. It may come in handy someday. 

[classlessclown]

✉ → she who shall not be named

Bambi: i suck but you're still buying me froyo :')

Bambi: ofc. randy's working anyway.

Bambi: he's being irritating af too.

Holden: eh i'm a sucker.

Holden: working that pole.

Holden: sry

[classlessclown]

✉ → she who shall not be named

Bambi: yes. push hard, my friend.

Bambi: i miss you.

Holden: miss you too.

Holden: even tho you suck.

Holden: froyo? my treat

[classlessclown]

That sad look you get when a co-worker asks what you did for Thanksgiving and you say you ate Ramen and watched Bones on Netflix. I don’t need your pity, fucker. I love Ramen. 

[classlessclown]

✉ → she who shall not be named

Holden: i've been constipated since we last spoke

Holden: can we be friends again so i can poop pls

[classlessclown]

My friends say I should act my age. What's my age again?

[dewkoskysalve-deactivated201501]

Oh, wow. You don’t look old enough to date someone with three kids, no offense, honestly. You would’ve? That’s so sweet, but for the record, I wouldn’t have shared. I like food too much to share.

[classlessclown]

I'm not old enough to date someone with three kids. I don't even know if I'm old enough to date someone with one kid. I mean, twenty-three's not too young to have kids, just too young for me to have kids. Hey, there are two kinds of people. I respect your honesty. I don't share my coffee, that's about it. 

[dewkoskysalve-deactivated201501]

Oh god. I would’ve been annoyed, though I couldn’t be brave enough to say something to them. But wow. I didn’t do anything for Thanksgiving either. I wanted McDonald’s but they weren’t open when I drove by.

[classlessclown]

I might not have said anything if it hadn't been this specific guy. This guy is always trying to set me up with his thirty-year-old daughter. Who has three kids. No thanks. Damn, that sucks. I would have shared my ramen with you...for the record.  

[dewkoskysalve-deactivated201501]

And what did they have to say to that then? I imagine most people don’t know how to respond to lack of holiday cheer.

[classlessclown]

I kid you not, he pat me on the shoulder and said "poor guy". So, obviously, I told him to fuck off. The principal told me I'm not even allowed to use profanity in the teacher's lounge. 

[classlessclown]

That sad look you get when a co-worker asks what you did for Thanksgiving and you say you ate Ramen and watched Bones on Netflix. I don't need your pity, fucker. I love Ramen.