I'm not one to bash het-partnered women/feminists, but I have an enormous issue with the "I just know how to choose a good guy" argument so let’s be real—believing you’ve found “one of the good ones” in the year of Gisèle Pelicot’s trial is a whole new level of delusional.
Frankly, I find it insulting to the countless women who have suffered at the hands of men. Do you think your ability to assess someone’s character is that much better than that of the millions—millions—of women across the globe who trusted men and were wrong? What makes you think that? Genuinely—why do you believe you’re better at this than they were? And how are you okay with implying that what those women endured was simply the result of a wrong choice they made? In your eyes, is it their fault? Was Gisèle stupid for believing, for 49 years of marriage, that her husband was a good man?
The reality is staring us all in the face, and yet so many are determined to cling to the fantasy that their man is somehow exempt from the patterns we see repeated time and time again. Love can be blinding, sure, but at what point does refusing to see the broader picture just become willful ignorance?
No one is saying your relationship is doomed or that he’s exactly like the men on trial, but it’s worth stepping back to consider how male entitlement, power dynamics, and societal conditioning might still be at play—even in your “good one.” Work on your ability to detect red flags. Work on your ability to choose yourself and walk away if you ever need to.
“But I love him!” I don’t doubt that. I’m not saying he’s a monster. I’m saying he’s a man, and men have shown us, time and time again, what they’re capable of. It’s simply unwise to ignore that reality because, for some unfounded reason, you believe you’re exempt from the fate that millions of women before you have suffered.
Love isn’t enough to override the structural truths we see every day. Stay vigilant. Stay wise.
