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Consider reading this on my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49016803
Ship: Hibiki Wataru/Mashiro Tomoya
Word Count: 2,971
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"One, two, one, two~ Spin~" Clapping his hands, Wataru appeared next to Tomoya, taking him by the waist and spinning him one more time. "See? Like this~"
"You- I spun the exact same way, you just wanted to touch me!" Tomoya complained and pushed himself away, stumbling from the force before quickly gathering his balance back.
"Oh, but I can't help it! You are so beautiful!" Wataru spun around himself this time, then let out a deep sigh. "Simply, I just wish to make it perfect!"
"I know what I'm doing!" Tomoya appeared more agitated than usual, tugging at the hem of his dress as if wanting to get it off right this second. "I can practice on my own! It's not even time for rehearsals yet, you just appeared out of nowhere to watch me like a creep."
"Oh? Is that so? Can't I be concerned with my adorable circle members even while 'off-duty'?"
"I don't need your concern or your help or-" Tomoya stopped himself before finishing that sentence, but did stomp his feet. "The... The point is! Let me practice alone! You're not even in this play!.. I know you're the director and all, but.."
Once again, as Tomoya kept on talking, he riled himself up. "Just don't touch me, don't look at me! I don't need your advice right now, let me be!"
"In fact, you know, maybe this play will be better without-..."
What was he saying..? Was there really so much pent-up frustration inside him that he took it out like that..? Usually, he could tolerate his odd senpai's antics.
He desperately racked his brain, for a way to finish this sentence in a different way, but his brain bluescreened the moment he saw a flash of what could be best described as a glisten in Wataru's eye. Not a sparkle, no, it remained as dull as it usually was. Tears? No, it couldn't be.
Tomoya shook his head, he must've been hallucinating it, it only lasted a second after all, it may have been a trick of the light.
Because surely, it couldn't be...
Wataru was still smiling and his voice didn't waver as he spoke. "Now now, Tomoya-kun, you could've just asked me nicely, hm? I, for one, know exactly how capable you are! Which is why I cast you for the main role! The most adorable, yet resilient little Alice~"
He turned around, now with his back towards Tomoya, he waved goodbye. "I'll leave you to it~" For a moment, his voice softened, lost some of that cheerful magic. "I am so proud of you, Tomoya-kun. You've grown. But don't shoulder everything alone, hm?"
Before Tomoya could so much as blink, Wataru was already out of sight. Though the smile never left his face, the atmosphere he left behind felt heavy on Tomoya's chest, he had to let out a sharp exhale to confirm he could still breathe. No, it wasn't his lungs that ached.
Why..?
Tomoya placed a hand over his chest, clutching it as his own eyes began to glisten with tears. It was nothing out of the ordinary, even tame antics considering Wataru, and yet... Why did he react so harshly? Neither of them deserved it. Maybe that was the cause of his ache.
Or at least part of it.
His mind kept repeating that sight. The brief glisten of Wataru's eyes. Even if that was merely a product of his imagination, the sorrow was still clear behind Wataru's smile. Of course. He had feelings too.
Though he felt otherworldly at times. Far out of reach for someone as ordinary as him... He was still human. And humans are easy to wound by mere words. Pathetic, maybe.
But here Tomoya was, tears streaming down his cheeks as a million thoughts ran through his mind, the most prevalent being his regret. He had to apologize, find him, and tell him face-to-face how he really feels.
Ah, that was another can of worms Tomoya had no willpower to explore. How he truly felt about that tragic jester he called a friend.
Before he could apologize properly, he had to calm down. If he ends up going there in tears, then surely he'd be the one being comforted again and that's not what he wanted at all. Not right now.
And so he waited. Waited until his breathing regulated, until his eyes dried up. Only then did he rush off to find his senpai.
Well, he didn't have to go far. He heard noises from behind the stage, peeking his head in. Was it him? Or just someone else working on their costume? He didn't know which one he hoped for more. He wasn't ready to face him. Though he formulated his speech a hundred times over in his head, he knew for a fact he'll stumble right over his words.
Following the noises, internally trying to manifest someone else, like Hokuto. Yes, please be Hokuto in there.
However, as he opened the door of the costume room, he immediately recognized that shade of blue. Wataru had his back towards the door, sitting at one of the tables. He seemed busy with something. Tomoya tried to peek inside more, to see what he was working on, without being noticed, but...
"Fufu~ I'm just polishing my masks, you are free to come right in~" A moment of pause. "Tomoya-kun."
Sharp as ever. He'll never know what he recognized him from... Was it the sound of his footsteps? His breathing? Whatever it was, his cover was blown, so he might as well step up and form his thoughts into words.
But as he opened his mouth to do so, Wataru cut him off by standing and starting to speak. "Which do you like better? Don't worry, I'm not planning to replace my trusty mask~ I'd just like your opinion." He held up two of them, one just like his regular one, while the other was slightly cracked, with a teardrop underneath the eye. "Don't mind the cracks~ I've been fixing this one up."
"Um.." Tomoya stepped closer, his gaze intently watching Wataru's every move, fixated on his face, mostly.
"This one?~ Or this one?~" He moved each mask in front of his face, showing them off to make it easier to choose.
God knows what sort of bravery possessed Tomoya at that moment, but he stood on his tiptoes, a hand reaching out to push the masks away before tracing Wataru's face with his fingertips. "I like this, I think.."
Wataru's entire body froze for just a second, while the touch lasted, slowly regaining his composure. "Smart~ But that wasn't one of the choices."
"I insist." Tomoya locked eyes with him and his other hand came up to take the broken mask from Wataru's hand. "You should… Maybe it's easier to fix when you're not wearing it, don't you think?" After putting it on the nearby table, he fixated his gaze on Wataru again. "And... There's nothing to hide now, right?"
"I'm merely testing if it's durable after fixing it~ It would be such a shame to let it go. It is one beautiful mask."
"But you didn't give it time to rest yet. How do you want it to be durable like that?"
"What shall one do while the mask is resting, is the question! Because the performance never stops, the stage doesn't wait!"
"Can't it stop? For a little bit?"
Wataru looked down, taking in a breath to respond, but exhaling right after without a sound.
"Hibiki-senpai… Let's… Let's let it rest a bit, okay? And…" Hesitantly, he reached out to take his hand into his own, just then could he feel that it was shaking. "Hi... Hibiki-senpai?"
"You are too smart for your own good, Tomoya-kun. None would care to know the actor behind the mask. People fall in love with the characters we play, most don't even know our names."
"But I do. I know your name! Hibiki Wataru-senpai. Because I'm an actor too."
"A very talented one indeed~ Your strengths lie in your emotions. Allow them to surface."
"I am... I'm letting them.." Squeezing Wataru's hand, he looked up at him once more, determined. "But what's the point if I'm the only one doing so?"
"I believe you already know my feelings. Though my mask has been perfected over time, the cracks are difficult to hide from a watchful eye, such as yours, isn’t that right?”
“But I want to hear it from you! I want you to say it!”
Wataru let out a chuckle, bitter as he reached out a hand. He didn’t take Tomoya’s, he wished for him to give his hand at his own accord.
“Tomoya-kun, do you trust me?”
Still possessed by his newfound bravery, he placed his hand on top of Wataru’s without hesitation and gave a firm nod. “Hibiki-senpai… Show me your heart!”
“But you may not like what you end up seeing inside. Would you still wish for that glimpse if you knew that?”
Tomoya’s heart was racing, but despite his nerves, he could honestly, without an ounce of doubt, say. “Whatever is in your heart, I’m sure I’m ready for it.”
“Be careful with such bravery. Getting too close to the fire may burn you and the darkness’s goal is to consume you.”
Before Tomoya could make an audible response, his eyes were suddenly covered by Wataru’s free hand. “Hibiki-senpai?” He tried to hide how his voice trembled, nervous about what was to come.
“What darkness? What you think of as darkness might be the light for someone else! Everyone has something dark inside, it doesn’t make us bad people. Stop acting like you’re some Phantom of the Opera, being so ugly behind that mask! I… I’m sure you’re... Whatever you… You’re beautiful..” Tomoya’s voice trailed off at the end into a mumble, he’s never directly complimented Wataru like that before. Well, once, but he did regret that time.
“Fufu~ You are… Hm…” Wataru, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words. He simply squeezed Tomoya’s hand. “Alright then. Please don’t let go of my hand now, hm?”
Wataru leaned in, his forehead resting against his hand, indirectly against Tomoya’s, whispering. “One, two... Amazing,”
Then silence. For a brief moment, there was only silence, and when Tomoya opened his eyes, he was convinced he went blind, the darkness around him was truly all-consuming, not a single speck of light.
“Hibiki-senpai? Hibiki-senpai! Where…” Worry overtook him when he noticed his touch was absent from his hand.
“Stupid! You tell me to not let go and you’re the one who let go! Hibiki-senpai!” He tried calling out until he heard a soft noise from somewhere in the darkness. He quieted down to listen, it sounded like… Crying? Pain? Someone was in pain?
Uncaring of his initial fear, he rushed on ahead towards the sound, it’s not like there was anything he could bump into. The space was completely empty.
His eyes had adjusted to it enough to make out a figure, a familiar one. It was trembling, the source of the soft cries.
Tomoya immediately dropped to his knees in front of the other, but it seemed he was slipping right out of his hands, unable to touch him. Like he was losing him to the dark. He was disappearing. He could no longer see him. “Hibiki-senpai..? Wh...e.. Where are you?”
“Everywhere and nowhere, all around you is me.”
Tomoya tried to reach out one last time, focusing on the figure in front of himself, blindly reaching into the darkness and taking both his hands into his own. “Hibiki-senpai, I’m.. I’m holding your hand. I didn’t let go.”
Before he knew it, he was pulled into a hug, a tight one. Wataru held him to his chest, an unsure hand carding through his hair. He chose to relax in that embrace, his ear resting right above his heart, able to hear its frantic racing.
“I was… Certain you’d find me, even in the dark. Yet, I couldn’t help, but worry you’d get lost inside as I have.”
“Where are we?”
“My heart. My mind. My soul. A reflection of myself.”
Tomoya grasped onto Wataru’s shirt and nuzzled into his chest. “So… Is this how you wanted to show yourself to me?”
“Isn’t it hideous? None would be made happy if I allowed it to surface.”
Though he couldn’t see Wataru’s face clearly, he still lifted his head to look into his eyes, a hand reaching out to caress him. “I don’t mind that it’s dark… Because your embrace is still warm.”
There were tears rushing down Wataru’s cheeks as he brought up a hand, to intertwine it with Tomoya’s and nuzzle his cheek against it. “Is that so?”
“I finally caught you. The real you.” Acting on impulse, Tomoya leaned in closer, only hesitating a single moment before he’d seal their lips. He’s been waiting for this moment. When he no longer had to chase him. He was right here, emotions laid bare, without a barrier between them. This is how he wished to feel his lips for the first time. With their souls united and on full display for the other to see.
Wataru let go of Tomoya’s hand and his, now free, hand slipped up Tomoya’s arm, shoulder, and neck, finally settling in his hair. With a gentle massage to his scalp, Wataru urged him closer, to deepen the kiss.
Like this, the dark didn’t feel quite so scary. For neither of them.
It was like it ceased to exist. Everything did. Only each other and their warmth remained.
When their lips finally parted ways, Tomoya was about to say something when he caught a glimpse of…
“Hibiki-senpai? What is that?”
Wataru’s eyes remained shut, even after the kiss had ended, wishing to savor the sweetness of it just a while longer. He only opened them once called to look, his smile softening at the sight.
A little speck of light. It looked like a firefly. But it emanated bright enough light to illuminate them both. Now, Wataru could see Tomoya’s flushed face clearly. He chuckled, massaging his head a little more. “It’s you. This moment. Forever stored in a speck of light.”
As he said that, a few more of those little lights began to pop up around them.
“It’s bright…” Tomoya whispered, reaching out a hand to try and touch one of the other little lights. Which is when he noticed there was a moving picture inside that emitted the glow. And it was of him. Of him laughing over something dumb during a rehearsal. With Wataru in the background, wearing the softest little smile.
“Are these…?”
“Memories, yes. Memories where my real self had surfaced and found solace in the world.”
“It’s me…”
“Yes, it is. Most of them are.”
Tomoya dropped his forehead against Wataru’s shoulder, a soft sob leaving his lips. “How could I… Someone so… Insignificant…”
“Weren’t you the one who said someone’s darkness can be another’s light? What you deem undesirable, your normalcy… Is exactly what has allowed me to let loose and… Most importantly, feel safe by your side. With you, I find I can relax easier.”
“Why me..”
Instead of an audible response, Wataru took him by the chin softly and lifted his head, just enough to be able to bring their lips together again, for a brief moment. “Love doesn’t choose based on reason. So I cannot give you a precise reason. However, what I can do is show you my true devotion.”
“Hibiki-senpai… The lights. They’re warm…”
“Of course, for they are of my warmest of memories. It wouldn’t make sense if they didn’t emit the same warmth. Though nothing can ever replicate the exact feeling of the moment.”
Tomoya allowed his head to rest on Wataru’s shoulder and he moved to sit on his lap, letting himself be wrapped by that soft embrace of his. “It’s… comfortable here.”
“Is it truly? The lights will disappear soon and give way to the darkness once more.”
“Not if I keep creating new lights, right? So… I’ll stay right by your side so you won’t have to be lost in the darkness alone! And in turn, you show me how to become an even better actor! Deal?”
Wataru’s eyes pooled up with tears and he wrapped both his arms tight around the other’s smaller figure, clutching him to himself, not for a moment letting go. “Fufu… Deal.”
Wataru caressed his face, letting his head rest on top of his. “Rest now, Tomoya-kun. You’ve given me the greatest gift and the truest of love. Please, allow me to take care of you, right here, with my soul on full display just for you!”
There was a comfortable silence for a minute or two before Wataru would speak up, in the softest voice. “My dear Tomoya-kun… I adore you.”
“Mhm… I love you too, Hibiki-senpai,” almost asleep, he mumbled.
Tomoya smiled, shifting a bit in his lap, only to hear his heartbeat better and to nuzzle into his touch. “What I said before… About the performance..” With his smile slightly fading, he spoke up. “I’m sorry... I really didn’t mean that. I love acting next to you..”
“I didn’t take it to heart.”
“I never saw you so close to crying…”
“You really are quite observant. But it’s useless to cling to what had already happened. You’ve more than made up for it now. I’ve never been happier than now that I get to hold you so close.”
“I’m happy too... So don’t change your mind and let go of me anytime soon!”
“Nonsense, Tomoya-kun. I will never let you go. As long as you do not wish to leave.”
“I’d stay like this forever… It’s really…” Tomoya chuckled sleepily. “Amazing..”
A slap to the face is what woke Keito up the next morning. He sat up in a hurry as if he was under attack, but what he saw beside himself calmed his racing heart in an instant.
Eichi was all sprawled out on the bed, like a starfish, hence the unfortunate way he woke up. But he couldn’t even be upset as a sight like this was precious, once in a lifetime. He reached for his glasses on the nightstand, to be able to see and appreciate it better. His fingertips traced along the soft skin of Eichi’s jaw, just barely brushing it so he wouldn’t wake up.
The events of last night were still fresh in his mind, thus his touch was even softer than usual. The feelings that remained welled up in his soul poured into his gaze as he watched how the light shining through the window hit Eichi’s face just right. He always thought he couldn’t be more beautiful, but he was proven wrong each and every day.
It wasn’t like him at all, to be tempted by desires, but Eichi owned his heart. He could ask him to do anything and he’d jump to fulfill his wishes. Besides, those wishes were his as well. As long as he could see Eichi up close, right there, with him, there was nothing else he would need. He’d even throw away his pride, as he had done, by the embarrassing noises he made last night.
He pulled the blanket up to Eichi’s neck, then laid his head back onto the pillow. This was the one moment where work could wait a while longer. Because there was no chance he’d let his gaze drift to anything other than his lover’s sleeping face. As he continued to caress him, all over, his face, his neck, down his body, and back up, he got lost in the admiration completely.
The only thing on his mind was how lucky he was.
How lucky and-
“Keito…?” A soft mumble left Eichi’s lips, calling out the name he spoke last before he drifted off to sleep, the name that belonged to the person whose touch was so sweet. Half asleep still, he nuzzled right into it, burying himself in his palm, taking in his gentleness.
“Did you sleep well?” Keito wanted to keep a semi-professional tone, but it was doomed to fail while he gazed so fondly and scratched Eichi behind the ear as if he was a cat.
“Mhm… I slept like a log! Though after how you exhausted me last night, no wonder!” As Eichi became more awake, he giggled at the intoxicating memories, unable to hold back a little teasing.
“I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to tire you out, but rather to show you… How I feel.”
Eichi let out a dramatic sigh and rolled to his side to face the other, booping his nose. “Relax, Keito~ I’m tougher than I look!”
“No, you really are not. I should’ve made sure I-”
Before Keito could so much as begin his monologue, Eichi kissed him on the lips, thus any word Keito may have wanted to string into the sentence got stuck in his throat as he tried to return it to the best of his abilities.
“You took such good care of me, Keito. You always do.” Eichi took on a more serious tone, but his touch was still light and playful as he caressed Keito’s chin.
“I tried my best.”
“But did you enjoy it too?”
Keito leaned in, stealing one more kiss from his lips, just barely brushing them together. “It’s always my greatest honor to be by your side. No matter the circumstance.”
“And?~”
“And? Is there something else I’m supposed to say?”
“Hm~” Eichi pretended to think, rolling onto his back. “For example, ‘Of course I enjoyed it, you are the hottest, Eichi!’ or ‘You have the nicest body I’ve ever seen!’ Those types of things. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say after this?”
Keito went red in the face, right up to the tip of his ears, clearing his throat. “I will not use such language.”
“You weren’t so averse to it last night though~” Eichi continued to tease, only to be the one cut off by a sudden kiss and Keito moving on top of him.
However, instead of perhaps another round, Keito just laid down on him, with his head resting on his chest. “You have a bad influence on me. But I suppose it’s not a sin to enjoy a moment like this.”
Bit of a vent fic
Consider reading it on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48564028
Ship: Aoba Tsumugi/Harukawa Sora/Sakasaki Natsume (Romantic or platonic, can be read as either)
Word Count: 1275
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One wrong move after another, not a single one right. Whatever he did, it became worse, worse, worse, until he was afraid to act.
Taking up agency, just one last time, for one more move, surely, this will be the one. The only one that's right.
Surely…
The kind breeze that tickled his cheeks oh so soothingly was perhaps a good sign, the universe showing him his decision is indeed right.
Such a gentle touch. One he so desperately craved but never got.
As he looked up at the night sky above, the stars all shining just for him, he took off his glasses and placed them carefully on the ground. It was an expensive pair, destroying it would be such a waste.
People say it's an impulsive act. But there was no rush in his movements. He enjoyed the gentle noises of the night and the twinkling lights above as he leaned against the railing. A peaceful moment for someone yearning for peace of mind.
Only one thing snapped him out of his trance, which was rushed footsteps, getting ever louder, approaching him.
The calculated, peaceful moment shifted into panic and impulse as he sat up on the railing, fumbling not to accidentally step on his glasses for just long enough for...
For him to be too slow.
He let himself be yanked off by the arm without any resistance. He didn't fight, he never did. For his own good, anyway.
Or it could've been not what he truly desired after all.
Because what he did instead of fighting toward the edge, was sink into the arms of his savior. Melt into the warmth of the embrace. Because it was so warm.
The cold that surrounded him before was melted away.
Even so, the other's grip wasn't gentle. It was desperate. Holding on as tight as it was physically possible.
Both were trembling.
There was no person calm at this moment.
Yet the embrace was still warm.
It was Tsumugi's hand that moved first. Up and down, in a steady motion, caressing Sora's back.
In response to that, Sora gripped tighter. "Senpai, what.." He tried to form a coherent sentence, but in such a scene, there was no place for words.
"Shh... I'm sorry, Sora-kun." And despite the one being on the edge just a moment ago, Tsumugi continued his soft caresses as if there was nothing wrong in the world.
Of course, how badly he was shaking had betrayed that image in an instant.
"Se... Senpai.." Sora lifted his head just enough to be able to look at him, eyes sparkling, who knew if from the reflection of the stars or the tears pooling, but their shine was such a sorrowful one.
The colors that swirled around Tsumugi were suffocating, a feeling so heavy, Sora could barely breathe. He'd never be able to describe it with words. Sorrow wasn't enough. Pain wasn't enough. In no combination would they be enough.
Still, he smiled. Tsumugi continued to smile and cupped Sora's cheek to wipe away the tears that slipped from his eyes. "It's okay now, Sora-kun. I won't do it again."
"Then… then why are Senpai's colors still so sad?!" The gentle boy raised his voice, both hands grasping onto Tsumugi's shirt as a soft sob left his lips. "Stop! Don't smile, Senpai! Don't smile when it's so painful! How can... How can Senpai say it's... It can't be okay! Sora almost... Switch almost.." As his initial wave of emotion faded, his voice quieted down once more. Overtaken by the negative aura all around, he lost control of his own feelings for just a couple of moments.
"Senpai still has the colors of farewell…"
Sora let out a sigh. A word attached to that horrible weight, it allowed him to breathe just a tiny bit easier.
"Sora… Sora really.. Really…" With another wave of tears, he couldn't look at Tsumugi, he tried to hide from the sight on his shoulder and in his arms. "Really hates that color!"
No matter the emotions attached, every color had its own beauty. A reason for their existence. But this… This color almost took Tsumugi away from him. It served no purpose other than to hurt. And though Sora vowed to find the beauty in every single shade he may encounter, this one he could not forgive.
"SorA!"
Both people flinched at the new voice, accompanied by footsteps just as hurried as the ones before.
"Senpai, what have you done to him? Why is he cryiNG?"
Harsh as ever, Sora was quick to shut him down this time. "Shisho~ Be kind to Senpai, okay?"
Sora's words caused Natsume to pause and observe the scene before him just a little better.
The glasses on the ground, in front of the railing, the way Tsumugi's entire body shook, the pale complexion of his, and most importantly…that absent gaze. Clouded, gray.
He wasn't dumb. He could put two and two together.
But by God, he wished he could have remained ignorant this time.
Because the pain that pinched his chest was unbearable.
"YoU- What have you tried tO-" Dropping to his knees beside the two of them. "IdiOT!" Hitting Tsumugi on the arm first, then pulling them both into his arms second. "I've never met someone so duMB…"
"Shisho-"
"We need you, alright? So tell your stupid head to finally shut up."
"Natsume-kun, Switch can-"
"Switch is the three of uS. Remember thAT. Rely on us."
Instead of trying to say anything, Tsumugi wanted to believe. Just once. Believe those words. And melt into Natsume's arms. With his head laid gently on his chest, with his heartbeat singing right under his ear. His shaking has stopped. The fog over his gaze had lifted. And…
"It's brighter…"
"Hm? What's brightER?"
"Senpai's colors… Sora doesn't feel so overwhelmed anymore."
"What else can Senpai's color teLL?"
"That he feels safe… It's a calm shade of blue.."
Tsumugi chose not to comment. He tried to tune out the world. To get lost in these comforting feelings. Warmer and gentler than the call of the abyss had been.
Instinctively, Natsume began to brush his fingers softly through his hair and even went as far as to give him a kiss on the head. "We love you…" he mumbled, just audible enough to reach Tsumugi's ears.
Time has passed. Nobody knew how long. The embrace of the three lasted until Tsumugi's breathing regulated. His body stopped trembling completely and his eyes regained their sparkle.
Only then did Natsume pull back, but just enough to reach for his glasses and place them on for him. "Now you can come with us and see the TV screEN. We're going to play gamES."
Tsumugi couldn't help but nuzzle against Natsume's fingers as they brushed along his jawline with the motion he put the glasses on. It was the gentleness he craved. And it was enough.
Getting up, he just whispered a soft "Thank you." Without any elaboration. It held everything inside. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for being by my side. Thank you for loving me. Words that would uselessly pollute such a beautiful moment when they can be expressed so simply.
"SurE. Come on nOW." Taking hold of his hand, Natsume dragged him along.
Sora lagged behind just enough, to observe. Observe as the colors around shifted. That one horrid color didn't disappear. It couldn't. Not so easily. But it did blend away into a beautiful mixture of blues and purples as his two seniors chatted along the way.
Though it may never disappear, perhaps it will continue to be overpowered by such beautiful shades.
A heavy feeling on his chest. Nothing unusual, really. It could be the stress, the side effect of one of his medications, or the slight sleep deprivation. Nothing to worry about, is there? A usual day for someone like him.
Eichi continued to focus his gaze on his paperwork, but the longer he did, the more blurred together the words were starting to become. He pinched the bridge of his nose, took in a breath, counted to three, then breathed out.
"Just one more..." Mumbling that to himself, he tried to push through just a few more documents. To him, one more never truly meant just one, it was just a way to encourage himself and make the task seem a bit less daunting.
However, the ache in his chest didn't go away, in fact, it strengthened so badly that he was beginning to breathe more rapidly. He let his pen down on the table, covering his face with both hands, chest heaving from his heavy breaths, trying to gain oxygen.
Not even the sound of the door could snap him out of his episode, not even the voice of the person he loved the most could take away the pain he was experiencing.
"Eichi? Eichi!"
In just a moment, Keito was by his side. All he could do was vaguely gesture towards his emergency button, it was too far away for him to reach, he needed the other to press it.
"Idiot. Why don't you keep it close to you? What point is there to an emergency caller if you cannot use it during an emergency?" Keito scolded, but the worry seeping into it mellowed out any harshness he may have tried to have in his tone.
"They will be here in a moment. Sit tight, Eichi." His hand instinctively reached forward but withdrew right back as his fingertips brushed Eichi's skin. It felt clammy and sweaty, yet it was ice cold to the touch. The unusual sensation startled him.
Eichi's hand has always lacked a bit of warmth, his blood circulation was never the best, but it felt almost lifeless now, which coupled with the increasingly pale complexion he had, the shallower breaths he was taking, didn't ease Keito's worries one bit. "Hang in there. I…" I? What? What could he possibly say or do that can make such a situation better?
Eichi had a hard time breathing, right? So he could possibly...
He removed both of Eichi's hands from in front of his face, grasping them firmly and giving them each a kiss. Then he proceeded to cup Eichi's cheek and turn his head slightly towards himself. Wiping the sweat from his face and forehead with a gentle movement of his thumb, he leaned in a bit closer.
Oxygen. He had to provide him with oxygen. And in the moment, there were only his lips as a tool.
And so, he kissed him. Deep, a sort of mouth-to-mouth, but filled with a lot more love than that. With one hand, he kept supporting his head, while the other rubbed gentle circles on his chest. He's read somewhere that helps, he dearly hoped they were not lying to him. After all this time by Eichi's side, he should've been a lot more experienced in such topics and yet he lacked such basic knowledge... Embarrassing, he thought.
But perhaps bashing himself in his mind was a way to shift from worry to concentration. His hands used to be trembling, but now they moved and held more firmly. Surely, he felt it could work, so it had to work.
And Eichi seemed to have returned his kiss. Even in such a fragile condition, he allowed his hand to rest against Keito's waist, leaning more into that warm embrace of his, as if trying to make up for the sheer cold he felt.
For a while, the two remained like this, up until the paramedics arrived to transport Eichi to the hospital. It felt like an eternity. That wait. But an eternity filled with love, thus as forever it felt, it flew by just as quickly.
Keito was pushed back and scolded, told what he was doing was extremely dangerous, but Keito was still held up in those feelings, watching in a daze as they transported Eichi out of the room.
"Wait!" Once he was out of his sight, he snapped to his senses and rushed right after them, almost tripping on his feet. Unsightly. But his panic was stronger than any composure. He couldn't let him go just like that.
And thus after a bit of fuss, he was allowed to sit in the back of the ambulance, with a firm grasp on Eichi's hand, he watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as the mask assisted his breath.
"I wonder when the day will come when I can no longer save you."
He shook his head and grasped his hand firmer, but still with utmost gentleness. He felt as if he could crack him with a single movement. He's always been so fragile, yet so resilient. He's survived so much, that's why…
"No. That day will never come. Because I will forever remain by your side." Resting his forehead against his hand.
"I will protect you. For the rest of my life. That is my duty, isn't it? A duty of a lover."
"It's not like there would be anything I could do without you. I've always been following you and I do not plan to stop."
"Continue illuminating my path. My sun, that comes dangerously close to dimming for good…"
Keito took a deep breath and brushed the hair out of Eichi's face, with the back of his hand, tracing along his jawline.
"Continue to shine as long as you've got your moon."
kyaaa what if we were both girls and we formed a slumber party club for all the pretty girls to hang out and paint each other’s nails and gossip except we were also two of the top idols in the industry and now we know everything that happens in the entire ensemble square through our incredible gossip network heehee wouldn’t that be soooo fun!!!
i get on here to complain abt how enstarstwt treats aira a lot but i should also complain about how they treat shmk. like yes theres a lot of shumika fans on twitter but also every other day i see "shumika fans are all porn addicts" and i just sigh cause like. 1) that is just blantantly untrue and 2) making horny fan content is like. fine. lol
twitter in general has like such a weird obsession with moral superiority like youre not better than anyone else for not liking a fucking anime boy like be for real. this is the most nonissue to exist like ever im so tired
the body language … notice how none of them make an effort to pull away from rinne like they used to. in fact, they GET CLOSER TO HIM OF THEIR OWN VOLITION. they’ve wholeheartedly accepted him as their leader AAAAND their friend …. this mv showcases how comfortable they’ve become with one another and it’s absolutely wonderful to see and in this essay I will
