Random thoughts @cloudyvstheworld-blog - Tumblr Blog

Minsan 'di mo na alam kung tao ka pa ba na nakakaramdam.

The dramatic idea of relationships slowly bores me.

ouc-h-deactivated20180811

i pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt & seeing the good in everyone but yourself you deserve more

Strong, but gets tired too

"You seem like not a 'sister figure' anymore. You've changed."

The last thing I remembered after that, I was silent, trying to find the words to say. I was contemplating why that person said that. It was a calm and meaningful conversation, no argument. I didn't have the opportunity to give a proper reply because I didn't know why it happened. Why I suddenly changed. But now after the clock struck 12, after suddenly coming across to this piece of memory, I now have an answer why.

Some people seem to look so happy, upbeat, reliable, strong, and so many more good qualities that everyone looks up to. But sometimes, some people get to a point that they get tired of all the situations that are unknown to some people, which results to zoning out. Disengaging one's self from socializing. Speaking less and spending more time alone or with fewer people. And that results to what people call "changed" but it's really not. Though some people do, it's not that people like them always resort to change. It's just that they get tired of having people relying on them too. They do those unlikely behaviors as their way to cope up or to take a rest from whatever's going on in their lives. You can't blame or judge them because you don't know whats going on with them outside the circle. Not everyone can keep up with people relying on them because there comes a point in their lives that when they get tired, they want someone they can lean onto too, but there's no one. It's sad that most people don't get that. It's painful when those people who used to rely on and look up to you suddenly change too. They never want to show that part of them, but strong people get tired too.

#mymidnightthoughts #strongbuttired

Imagination

The world that my head is living in scares me most of the times. In my head, I imagine different ways how I'm gonna die in everything I do and in any place I go to. Out of a random train of thought, I suddenly imagine explosions. And its almost feels real that I can visualize and hear it.

All of these thoughts consume my head for real, and there have been days when I know deep down that I want to, no, I have to cry these out. And there I sat, i tried, and failed. I shed few drizzles of tears and thats about it.

Tell me, dear someone who reads this. Am I depressed? Because I really can't make sense of these odd imaginations that crosses my head. No, they don't just pass by. They somewhat linger for a bit while. Ugh, I'm drowning again

There are so many things drowning her and she's struggling to learn to swim in this strange waters.

Everyday she would ask why

That no matter how hard she fight

It wins, they conquer, it prevails

She would ride the train

Hoping to get strong place after place

But so they haunt, such a waste

Armors fall and crumpled

Divinity of the three, hear her cry

Save her from haunting insanities

Take over and flourish in

Silence the demons within

#cloudypoetry #emotions #thoughts #poetry

Though abandoned, though aged, grow beauty and goodness with it.

Detox yourself from toxic people once in a while 💙

Lately, I realized that I've subconsciously chosen to delight myself with a little sip of vacation. I rarely do this because here in my family, when I was younger, they wouldn't allow me to go far places. And I rarely had the guts to persuade them too. My best friend had been nagging me for a long time to come with her to Laguna and this is the first time that I said yes to her. She was surprised when I said yes and so was i.

During my stay there, it was a bit hard for me to be at ease in a new place because I wasn't really ready to socialize. It felt like I forgot how it felt like to relax and I was a bit paranoid about the people having me around. I was testing the water at that moment.

Little by little, I adjusted to the new environment and the people were nice even though I didn't have enough time to get to know them more. But they are good people there.

I My best friend and I went to Tagaytay(Little Baguio) to take a leisurely walk and look at the view since it was an hour drive from Laguna. I saw the mount Taal and Laguna lake for the first time and it was such a gratifying sight to see. I loved the mildly chilly weather that softly nibbled my skin, and the pictures(that i will post later) and jokes that we made. Everything, everything. I loved every bit of it.

I enjoyed Laguna and the family who hosted us there. I liked how there's always fruits every meal because we rarely include fruits in our meal. Fruits here in Zambales are expensive.

I love my best friend for loving me this much that she cared about my well being. She knows how stressed I am with a lot of things in my life. She took care of me there and accommodated me a lot. We took a lot of pictures and created lots of memories.

I love how God allowed me to have a sip of this vacation. For the safekeeping that He gave to us along the trip. Praise him for his goodness.

And of course, I'm glad that I gave myself a break from everything that's been draining me.

I'm learning to choose to care for myself now.

#cloudythought004 #realizations #vacation #LagunaEscapade #self-care #distress

worshipmoment

“To believe in Christ is to see that He is a priceless treasure of infinite value.”

—

Steven J. Lawson

worshipjesus365

cloudyvstheworld-blog

Just remember this when things gets rough.

Nothing poetic about it. My mind rarely finds inspiration to make it one. #escapade #ferriswheel #memories

#escapade #ferriswheel #memories

faith-and-dreams

Please take care of your soul and study your bible.

I'm at a point where i'm trying to figure out how to strengthen my relationship with God.

holytemple

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