CMP and Beyond

This is my secondary blog to keep track of my spiritual journey in the Certified Metaphysical Practitioner courses, and how I will use that information to help others.

[cmpandbeyond]

Here’s what stood out to me - all direct quotes: 

She wants us to grow and prosper, not as economic beings but as human beings. 

She wants us to nurture our talents and gifts, because those gifts are meant to be shared with family and the world

At this New Moon in Cancer, we can plant the seeds of our deepest needs and desires, watered by our sense of self-love and compassion

We need to love ourselves so we can love others. Our fulfillment sparks others to find their own. And our compassion fills us with the knowledge of our inter-dependence, making us willing to share ourselves with the world.

Let your archetypal identity come through and challenge yourself to make those changes that will give you the life you want and deserve

we need to be able to communicate what we’re feeling

And perhaps this watery gift will help us forgive past emotional wounds so we can learn from them and move on to our new story. 

Well, compassion is certainly a recurring theme this new moon. 

[cmpandbeyond]

New moon in Cancer, intentions

Strengthen my recovery.

Build a relationship with Alexander (my toddler).

Embody calmness.

[cmpandbeyond]

Apologies.

Since I have precisely one follower, this apology is more for myself. I’m in a program of recovery, so this post is synonymous with making amends to myself and finding a way to make things right. 

I’m sorry for neglecting my recovery and my spiritual growth. It’s not that I wanted to put all of this on the back burner. It just sort of happened, the way everything tends to unravel. I forgot about my priorities and I found new ones instead. It’s not okay, but I want it to change. Lately, I’ve noticed spirituality has been on my mind. I counted the days to the previous full moon, knowing full well I would let it pass without so much as an acknowledgement. I counted down days to the new moon (tonight), knowing this would be a good time to set my intentions for a new start. I like fresh starts. The problem arises when the starts are no longer “fresh” and yet I still need to continue. I lose steam around this time, and I find excuses to take a day off. Except one day turns into two, and two days turn into two weeks, and there I am - left with confusion and frustration. That’s where I find myself on this new moon in Cancer. I’m overwhelmed with good intentions that I know, in time, will fade to excuses. 

Tonight, I went to one of my 12 step meetings - my home group, in fact. It was the meeting where we choose a chip and speak on the topic. Everyone has a different topic, so it stays interesting. I randomly selected Tradition 5. Without getting all recovery on here (because it’s not that type of blog), I’ll skip a lot of it. I ended up not knowing really anything about my topic, so I looked in our literature for information. Just reading the literature brought me back to center in a way that the meeting wouldn’t have been able to do. It was then that I realized that the day isn’t over yet. I still have time to begin this moon cycle with an intention and moon chart, and start this journey of Tarot e-course. 

So, that’s where I am right now: trusting my intuition and beginning this journey again.

[queercravt]

Moonstone

Moonstone brings calm and soothes unstable emotions. It aids us with inner growth and personal strength, brings inspiration, and enhances imagination. This stone helps us empathize with others, and helps with a number of reproductive issues such as menstrual cramps and fertility.

Moonstone does have a few contra-indications, however. Avoid moonstone during the full moon, and while it may be used to help with hysteria, you should remove it if the condition worsens. It may also induce illusions.

Moonstone is used to assist in positive change, and for protection while traveling. It is considered a stone of good fortune and new beginnings.

Moonstone is associated with the third eye and solar plexus chakras, and the archangel Haniel. It is also associated with the astrological signs of Cancer, Libra, and Scorpio.

Moonstone aids with:

Anxiety

Emotional patterns and tension

Hyperactivity

Hysteria

Promoting harmony

Male-female imbalance

Biorhythmic clock

Insomnia

Sleep walking

Digestive issues due to stress

Hormone imbalances

PMS

Menopause

Regulating menstrual cycle

Infertility/increasing fertility

Easing pain of childbirth

Breastfeeding

Nutrient malabsorption

Obesity

Vomiting

Ulcers

Burns

Degenerative conditions of hair, skin, or eyes

Fluid deficiency/fluid retention/fluid imbalances

Alopecia

Swollen hands

Reproductive system (especially female)

Hands

Pancreas

Pineal gland

Please note: none of this is intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent any specific illness or ailment, yadda, yadda. Please see your doctor if you have anything going on medically…etc.

[cmpandbeyond]

During this lunar cycle, I was drawn to serpentinite as my restorer stone but I didn’t know anything about it, so I did some research. 

It will work at any chakra to clear blocked or stagnant energy.

It is also a stone to encourage you to make contact with the elemental beings as the members of the Devic realm resonate with its energy.

Serpentine Stone is a strong stone known to stimulate the arousal of the kundalini energies.

An earthing stone

It aids in meditation and enhances spiritual exploration.

Serpentine assists the retrieval of wisdom, helping to regain memory of past lives.

Serpentine assists the conscious direction of healing energy toward problem areas.

It corrects mental and emotional imbalances, helping you to feel more in control of your life.

Serpentine treats diabetes and hypoglycemia. [I have hypoglycemia.]

Known as the "Healer's Stone"

Reminds the holder of the Butterfly’s medicine

Serpentine can be used to attract/manifest what you want into your life

Zodiac: Gemini

Element(s): Earth and air

Planet: Saturn

All in all, I am in awe at my intuition. These are things that I feel I really need to address in my life, and this stone can assist me. (Or at least nudge me in the right direction.) 

And here are my sources. 

[cmpandbeyond]

And the moon wheel begins again. This cycle, I am tracking my creativity amd motivation as it relates to my storytelling. I'm trying to find my most creative AND productive times of the month. (Perhaps next cycle I will focus on the times of day I'm most creative and motivated to add an extra dimension.)

[cmpandbeyond]

Full moon in Scorpio (and Sun in Taurus)

I had so many plans for today:

go to a gem show (and perhaps pick out a crystal ball for scrying)

take a walk on a trail and reconnect with nature

do a full moon ritual at the beach

do a Tarot reading 

...and I didn’t do any of them. (Okay, maybe there’s time to still do a reading.) 

What I did do (and am about to do) was fun, too:

played with my kid all day

read. A lot.

worked on my fiction

went to a 12 step meeting

reconnected with a friend who inspired me

(still to come: recommit to CMP and moon chart)

and I should just add Tarot reading to this list.

So maybe I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I got everything I needed - especially those things that I didn’t even know I needed. 

Tonight, I’m feeling very content - and creative. 

Here’s a little bit about this full moon:

Ego needs (Sun in Taurus) vs emotional needs (Moon in Scorpio)

I can’t believe how well this relates to me. My ego is wanting to protect myself by putting up an impenetrable wall. My emotional needs are screaming to let people in, own my personal power. This is really coming to a head these days. 

Jupiter in Leo in a T-Square 

“At its best, Jupiter is the planet of expansion, optimism, luck, spiritual growth and beliefs. At its worst, it is over-idealistic, self-righteous, and judgmental. It can also just simply “over-do” things.”

Yikes - I’ve definitely been known to be overdoing things lately: whether that’s getting verbally aggressive (instead of assertive) or staying up wild hours (like I’m doing now). This is a time when balance does not come easy, but it’s more and more necessary. 

Things to do:

Determine what we want (and more importantly need) to make progress and growth in our lives. (It helps to write it out by hand and stick it in a handy place.)

Releasing ritual after the moon begins to wane, up to 24 hours after  May 4 - 3:42 am UTC. (May 3 - 8:42pm US Pacific time).

Start a health cleanse or detox during the 3 days after the full moon.

Release yourself from a financial obligation by paying a small debt or making a financial plan to dig your way out of debt.

Get in touch with your soul for a minute and tune out the busy world.

Choose the target of your control freaking instead of getting worked up about every small thing. (I feel this one is intimately tied to the first one.)

Harness the energies of fertility, in any form.

I really need to work on what I want to release from my life, so during the next few days I’ll be meditating on what doesn’t serve me and my highest purpose anymore. By ridding at this extra baggage, I’m making room to allow new and positive things to come into my life. (Or maybe I just need less things.) 

I’ve been considering doing a cleanse, and I think it’s interesting that so many resources I’ve been reading about talk about cleanses and detoxes. I took an Ayurvedic dosha test, and I’m right on the cusp of Vata and Kapha. (Of course I’d be a cusp in this too.) In any case, I’m incredibly out of balance, and it’s my goal to become balanced. Through research, I learned this is possible by going on diets and focusing on the foods that are best for my body. (Goodbye, processed foods!) I’m still doing a lot of research and because food is something I struggle with on an addictive level, I’m wanting to learn more about it before I start restricting the foods I’m “allowed” to eat and it turn into something unhealthy. 

I gasped when I came across an article about paying a debt. I went to a 12 step meeting, but before I went in I paid my cell phone bill (which was one day late). After the meeting, I talked with a friend about my identity theft issue and my psychological blocks to reporting the person. If I do, a lot of my financial problems will disappear. Talk about a moment of synchronicity! 

Too often I see fertility only referred to as sex in respects to childbearing. This leaves out so many other areas of life that represent fertility. For me what comes to mind is my creativity in my storytelling. I’ve done fertility rituals to help cultivate ideas and plot novels - and they’ve worked brilliantly! I get so disheartened when people are close-minded about this area because it alienates so many people who could be applying the concept of fertility in other aspects of their lives. 

A Source

[cmpandbeyond]

First quarter

I was able to catch the moon in all her beauty tonight on the first quarter. 

Today has been an eventful day: 

I slept in until 11am (yikes)

I took a shower - much needed after skipping yesterday’s

I had my massage therapy appointment, which hurt.

I played on the jungle gym out back with my toddler

I was accepted as an admin on a witchy group

I finished my book and (just) finished a review post on my other blog

I’m working on my novel

I haven’t had a chance to really check in throughout the day like I normally do during the week. It’s ironic that I’m noticing that I have more time to just “be” during the week while I’m at work than I do during the weekend when I’m home. I’m trying to explore that, and if it has anything to do with the fact the apartment is in such disarray that it’s distressing. 

Oh, yeah, I forgot to add that I did clean quite a bit of the apartment today. Doing the dishes has been therapeutic for me today, and I’m not sure if that was because I was connected with water or because of something else.

It’s time to catch up and officially write out things in the journal and color in the charts tonight. After I finish my admin duties of posting articles. 

[cmpandbeyond]

Moon vibe

As the moon is waxing to her full potential, I feel like I am growing.

If I had to wrap up all I feel in one word, I’d say my moon vibe is “alive.” 

[cmpandbeyond]

New moon

Okay, so I didn’t post on here for the new moon, but I started the CMP course (Lunar Flow) on the 18th. I started my journal on the 19th. 

Some notables I’ve noticed:

I’m feeling extremely sensitive lately. I’m not sure what it is, but after talking to a few people it’s not just me. (I actually cried, and those who know me who how much of a big deal that is.)

My energy level is mirrored by the moon - and I’m noticing it. I feel much more creative now that the moon is waxing. My novel idea is germinating and growing, much like Mama Luna. 

Well, that’s two more than last time. 

In my moon chart, I’m tracking my depression. I’ve suffered from clinical depression for over a decade, and I want to (finally) get a handle on it. I’m hoping that by tracking it with the moon, I’ll find patterns that I can work with to move past this. That’s the plan anyway.

So far, I’m excited about beginning this journey again. 

[cmpandbeyond]

I reached out to the CMP community on Facebook to ask for suggestions on how to maintain diligence because I’m gearing up to start the course again. Some people have already replied with some great suggestions, so I’m looking forward to diving in again. This past month, I’ve felt lost and energetically jumbled. I don’t like that feeling at all, so I’m hoping that this course will help regulate me and find a happy medium. (After all, it’s all about balance.)

I’m going out this Thursday and getting a journal and pen, so I can devote them just for the course. Something simple like that has the potential to help me just sit and focus. 

Now for the self-discipline part...

[cmpandbeyond]

I fell off the course, and I haven’t been managing my time properly. It’s not that I don’t want to participate in the program, it’s that - in my mind - it takes a lot of effort. Lately, I’ve been coming home after a 12-13 hour work day then getting my kid to bed and doing the odd chore around the house and do homework or study, and finally collapsing. While I understand the purpose of this is to be able to chart and journal for 10-15 minutes, my mind doesn’t quite equate that as a possibility right now. 

During this coming full moon, I’m going to do a releasing ritual to help me see what I can let go from my busy schedule to make spirituality (and this course) more of a priority.

                                               ***

From now until April 18 (new moon cycle), I’ll focus on my priorities. April 4th is the full moon, which is when I’ll do the ritual to release unnecessary things. Until then, I’ll work on other stuff like my recovery (I’m finally on Step 12) and my other blog (I have a good series planned) and writing (I’m working on a project currently). And, of course, parenting. (Maybe I’ll finally unpack some boxes and do a thorough physical Spring Clean before I do a spiritual one.)

[cmpandbeyond]

I finally 3-hole punched all the papers and put them in a binder. I also printed off extra moon charts and moon journal pages to put in a separate binder. Now, it's official.

[cmpandbeyond]

The next part of the Lunar Flow course is to find my restorer stone. It says that the restorer stone is one that feels like my sanctuary. I love this word. Its original meaning is a sacred place or shrine. It reminds me of a safe place - one where I can rest, relax, and rejuvenate without the stresses and demands of life. I can be true and authentic in a sanctuary. 

I wasn’t able to do the stone meditation last night because of personal home issues, so I went to the stone that called to me at the moment. 

It’s African Turquoise. I didn’t know too much about the stone when I purchased it (quite recently, in fact). All I knew is that I liked the energy, and that it’s not an actual turquoise - it’s jasper. After I chose it as my restorer stone (or rather after it chose me), I read up on it.

It’s also called the stone of evolution since it helps with personal growth and development, opening the mind to new ideas, and awakens the soul to its purpose. It reminds me of old patterns to help with the new situations, and it frees to mind.  It helps break free of the patterns of depression, and it quiets the mind from anxious thoughts.

It’s a stone aligned with the Third Chakra, helping to strengthen and balance this energy center. 

  Source: 1

Honestly, this is exactly what I need right now, and I’m looking forward to building a connection with it. It’s a little bit of a larger stone, and it fits perfectly in the palm of my hand to where I can firmly grasp it with my hand closed. When I hold it, I feel cleansed and purified, like all the negativity has been cleared. I feel a calm yet sure feeling from it, and it’s something I hope I can feel one day in my own life. 

[cmpandbeyond]

Moon Journal: Day 2

It’s 1:15am, so I thought I’d better reflect on the day before it gets too late. (I’m already half falling asleep.) 

My emotional level has stabilized again. I had a good conversation last night after the entry, and I took time today to really reflect on the situation. 

It doesn’t feel like a new moon/waxing crescent “should” feel to me. I feel like I’m in the balsalmic moon phase: reflective, meditative, and resting rather than planning new projects. 

My energy level, right now, is low but even. Earlier today, I went to a coffee shop to write, but I ended up typing a few posts for Tumblr and attending a 12 step meeting that proved helpful. I’ve been having spiritual conversations all day, and I’m feeling connected. I have also been working on forgiveness, and I find myself feeling lighter when I let go a little bit. I feel like I should be preparing for greatness for this lunar cycle, and a part of me wants to participate, but the larger part says listen to my body. And that’s what I intend to do.

The moon is still in Aries.

The chakra is still the root.

The Tarot card association is now The High Priestess, which makes sense why I’ve been feeling reflective all day today. The High Priestess teaches me to look within for answers instead of outside of myself, as in a book. She reminds me that my intuition is a guiding light that won’t lead me astray. 

Emotions: pain, balanced, hope

Creativity: 1

I spent the majority (if not the whole time) day thinking, talking, typing, reading about spirituality in all its forms. Tomorrow, I want to strike a balance - look at the spiritual aspects, but also live in the tangible. Mostly, my eating habits are being seriously affected. As are my sleeping habits. Obviously, since it’s pushing 1:30am. 

[cmpandbeyond]

Moon Journal: Day 1

Last night was the new moon in Aries. I scribbled some thoughts on paper, and I’ll share them here. 

Last night, I got some heavy news and I didn’t know how to process the emotional roller coaster that came with it, so I emotionally withdrew and spoke impulsively. I hurt someone with my words because I was hurt. Aries is a very impulsive, passionate sign, and I felt it completely take over me. 

According to the moon app I downloaded, the chakra associated with this new moon was the root, and the Tarot card is the Magician. 

The root chakra is about safety and security, our physical. When I felt threatened, I used my power (tying in the Magician) negatively instead of for good - such as having a conversation. 

While I had hoped for a magically happy new moon, I had a lesson present itself instead. I suppose both are equally valid in their own right. 

Needless to say, there was nothing peaceful about day 1 of this cycle. I can only hope that something changes.

In my moon chart, I decided to chart my creativity level. I’ll also track it in the moon journals on here. (I’ll post the picture of the moon chart after each cycle has finished.)

Emotions: hurt, betrayed, angry

Creativity level: 0 

[cmpandbeyond]

My intentions for this course

In the CMP manual, it asks us to define and put into writing our intentions for the course. I took a long time to meditate on this course before I purchased it. I have a history of jumping into things without following it through to completion, and I didn’t want this to be just another one of those things.

In my reflections, I asked myself why I wanted to purchase this course versus learning about the information on my own, how I thought this course would impact me and my spirituality, and the ways in which I could use the information contained in this course in a practical way. From this, my intentions were clear.

At the heart of it, my true intention is to discover what rings true to me and what works well for me, and forge a deeper connection with the energy that surrounds me. I often feel untethered, just floating around without a spiritual “home base.” My intention with exploring these four areas is to become tethered again, to feel connected to something.

I understand that this is just the beginning, but I feel this course is the foundation I can build upon to discovering and exploring these areas in more detail and branching out to new practices. This isn’t a destination course where I’ll be finished with learning once I have in my hands that piece of paper that declares I’ve completed the program. It’s simply a springboard of possibilities.

Through this course, I want to open myself to new ideas and concepts that either I had dismissed or wasn’t aware existed. Essentially, I want to throw everything against the wall and see what sticks, what resonates with me on such a deep level that I question how I ever lived without it. I want to embrace growth and challenge existing beliefs.

I want to live by the guidance of the moon, to follow the cycles of life, and to honor the feminine within myself and everything else.

I want to learn to cultivate a relationship with the earth and her stones, to listen to them and discover their wisdom.

I want to tune into my intuition and learn to trust it instead of dismissing it. I want to learn and grow not only my physical self but my higher self. I want progress instead of stagnation.

I want to fully utilize the energy within me and surrounding me to develop into the light being I am. I crave balance, and that’s the word I feel encompasses my whole reason for diving in this course. Above all, I want a healthy balance in my life and live - not simply think or feel - it.

I’m sure as I progress further in the course, my intentions will be redefined, and my focus may hone in on one or a few of these - or something completely different. And I know as I work with this course over my lifetime - because I can see this isn’t a one-time-only thing - I’ll grow on multiple levels.