An exploration of the evolution of the USAJobs website.
September 9th, 2016
September 10th, 2016
What a spiffy upgrade. Looking good guys. Wait, hang on a sec...
What even...
May 18th, 2017
Still no sign of improvement. All hope is lost.
May 19th, 2017
Did they just...
Being a public servant is hard sometimes because everyone gives us a hard time, saying weâre lazy and incompetent. I am here to tell you that those statements...
Ah election years, a time for the stupidest of all the stupid ideas to emerge from their chrysalises like demented butterflies with half a wing missing. The culprits range from hippies stuck in their drug-fueled â60s era mentalities to fussy New Wave wannabes who âare in love with the environmentâ (aka smoke too much weed in their parentsâ cabins) but not in love enough to consult with, yâknow, actual climate scientists with Lamestream degrees from Establishment colleges.
A useful idiot for both Russia and the fossil fuel industry. Way to go, champ!
wrong
Crying laughing at all those downvotes.
no
probably non-renewables
go in
ffs
oh oops lol
(Yes this is about 2015 but the article was written in 2016 so Iâm counting it, deal with it.)
Good thing this could never happen in the US, right? *nervous laugh*
*internal screaming*
When? Hopefully never. How many? Possibly zero since the average person is a moron.
Hey Mr. Science Guy? Maybe stay in your lane. Word on the street is you have a Bachelorâs in mechanical engineering.
stahp
STAHP
With Friends like these, who needs FOEs?
Alright thatâs enough of that. I think if I look at any more of this my blood pressure will be in grave danger.
Ah, the radioactivity symbol, an elegant and clean design that looks like, uh, a fan or turbine I guess? I dunno. I think if I was trying to convey the dangers of radiation Iâd go with something different. Regardless, its sharpness and intense color scheme are eye-catching and its association with danger makes it rather appealing. If youâve ever met an edgy teenager, youâll understand the allure pretty quickly.
Thereâs a problem though. People know of the symbol but rarely think of how it should be drawn. And yes, there are rules. Itâs standardized and you canât just make one willy-nilly. Here, itâs not rocket science, let dominus from DeviantArt show you how itâs done.
Satisfying as hell.
And no, do not give me that crap about how itâs pink and not black. First off, itâs not pink, itâs magenta, and second, this is how us Muricans do it and we invented the symbol, after all. The color itself tends to vary and as signs fade from the elements youâll see everything from fuchsia to purple to a dull burgundy shade, and of course in the rest of the world the trefoil itself is black. The background should be an eye-searing shade of yellow. The graphic above shows you what the ratios and proportions of the blades should look like. Really difficult to mess up, right? Thereâs numbers and everything! But alas...
First up, some examples from DNews. Considering itâs a science channel, youâd think theyâd know better.
The atrocities going on in the center circle are bad enough but then...
WHY IS THIS LINE CROOKED
Either upside down or rotated 60 degrees, depending on your perspective.
Wrong on every possible level. The symbol, rather. The title of the video is accurate.
Then come the graphic designers who want to be innovative. These symbols were described as âgrungeâ which pretty much summarizes why people screw things up so badly. Donât worry about accuracy, letâs make this look gritty!
12 ways to make a nuke worker cry.
Literally not a single one of those in this picture are correct.
Then we have the common misconception that radioactivity is a glowing green substance which is absolutely not true but people sure love to hang on to it.
why
Who hurt you?
Jankitude highlighted for your viewing pleasure.
Like I said, the radioactivity symbol has an association with all things edgy, but some people are just not satisfied and want something even âscarierâ looking. What better way to make it that way than combining it with another hazard symbol? The biohazard symbol looks evil, right?
Well that clears that up.
Thereâs an awful lot going on here, and none of it is good.
And then thereâs the ones so bafflingly awful that no words can adequately describe their jankitude.
For those not in the know, in his first 100 days in office Donald Trump plans to institute a hiring freeze for all federal agencies (except for the ones he likes, obvs). Competition for government jobs can be pretty fierce at times. Iâll be honest, I donât even know how I managed to snag mine. Donaldâs plan to âdrain the swampâ apparently involves blocking good jobs for everyone from scientists to secretaries. There is indeed a cruel irony that the man who promises to bring jobs back to the American working class is going to eliminate so many opportunities. But then again this is a man who is either going to demolish the EPA or appoint a climate change denier to be the head of it, depending on whether or not he had his Wheaties for breakfast.
The workload of a lot of agencies is increasing and as Baby Boomers begin to retire, we are going to see a lot of stressed out and overworked government employees, some of whom will undoubtedly leave for greener pastures. Trump has his eye on cutting into our retirement benefits as well. Anyone whoâs ever been involved with federal work knows that the benefits and job security are the biggest draw for them. Lord knows I could make so much more money out in the private sector. Almost anyone could. But us loyal public servants stick around, mostly because our healthcare is so awesome and we get raises on a consistent basis. Oh and something about doing good for our country...maybe.
If youâre a federal employee working for an agency not related to defense or national security and you voted for Donald Trump, give yourself a pat on the back! Youâve blocked out all your competition, but Lord help you if you have to move or want to switch agencies. For everyone seeking a government job, either look at the departments that will not be frozen or lock down a position the second you can. For all of us working for the federal government right now, itâs not exactly the best time to quit or transfer unless we really think itâs the right career choice.
The following devices all measure ionizing radiation. What would you call them?
If you said that they are Geiger counters, first off, youâre wrong. Second, donât be disrespecting Walther MĂŒller like that.
If you said that they are not Geiger counters, congratulations, you read the title and made an astute inference. Yes these devices measure radiation, and are called RADIACs as a result. They also are not Geiger counters. You see, all Geiger counters are RADIACs but not all RADIACs are Geiger counters. Geiger counters operate in a very specific way. The processes by which the above RADIACs work are different. The first two are scintillation detectors and the last one is a solid state detector.Â
And now you can be That Guy and âimpressâ all your friends at parties with this fun fact.
We need to take a break from the thorium power argument for a second. Youâll notice I said a break in the argument, not a break from research. We should absolutely continue to pursue innovations in thorium plant design. We just canât keep waiting for it though.
Thorium is everyoneâs favorite imaginary friend. Sheâs sexy, sheâs perfect, and sheâs way cooler than our actual friends. She also doesnât exist yet and you probably shouldnât be putting her on a pedestal before she even shows up. This is the problem with the thorium argument. Are our current nuclear power plants perfect? No, and I would never pretend otherwise, but part of growing up is realizing that you have to work with what youâve got instead of fantasizing about that girl of your dreams who you donât even know that well. Worth mentioning: sheâs not perfect either, but when you havenât spent time with her you havenât seen her flaws yet.
This is the problem with waiting for Miss Perfect. Nothing is perfect. Meanwhile weâve got a dying planet on our hands and everyone is fussing about how our current nuclear power plants just arenât good enough. We donât have time for that, we really donât. Some day we might meet thorium. Maybe she is as wonderful as we imagine her to be. Right now is when we have to celebrate our current friends though. That might be unpalatable to some people, but thatâs life. Part of life is doing good when we can, and improving on it when itâs possible. But we have to do something now.
And donât even get me started on the fusion power debate.
Iâll just come out and say it: the Far Left of America is a total dumpster fire when it comes to environmental issues. The candidates in question? Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders. The groups in question? Greenpeace and the Sierra Club. The common thread? Opposition to nuclear power.
Listen, if youâre going to call yourself an environmentalist, you need to shut your trap and listen to what all the climate scientists are saying. Nuclear energy is our best shot right now. If you want to forgo it, drop the pretense of environmentalism and label yourself as you are: a hippie poser anti-science fear-mongering demagogue.Â
Luckily people are starting to come around, as evidenced by the brutal evisceration of Jill Stein during her reddit AMA, which is a must-read and best enjoyed with a bucket of popcorn and a heavy dose of Schadenfreude. Now that the election is over itâs mostly moot but we absolutely must remember our history and pressure activist groups to get with the times. Next time a populist candidate emerges, hammer this issue home. Weâve got a climate crisis going on and we need to be firing on all cylinders.
Oh sure, electing Donald Trump was terrible in an absurd amount of ways. I certainly donât like him. For now though I focus on the areas I feel best equipped to talk about: energy and nuclear power. Iâm like a four-issue voter at best.
Donald Trump supports nuclear power! Yay pack it up weâre good.
And he thinks climate change is a hoax by the Chinese and wants to abolish the EPA. Oh...
Itâs always painful when someone is right for all the wrong reasons, but then again, is it better when someone is wrong for all the right reasons? After all we saw quite a few candidates swearing to fight for the environmentâs health and then go on to denounce nuclear power. So I guess in the end with Trump we wind up with a solid baseline of nuclear energy (albeit much less regulated) at the expense of mercury in all our water, air quality that makes Shanghai look pristine, and pulling out of the Paris Agreement. Progress!
Listen, I would trade nuclear power in a heartbeat for the EPA if it ever came down to it. Mind you, I sincerely hope that scenario never comes into play. They are both absolutely critical if we wish to save our planet, but Iâm willing to sacrifice some of my career opportunities if need be. Youâre welcome, America.
Donât blame me though, I voted for Hillary.
It is a weird dichotomy that springs up constantly, this tension between environmentalism and nuclear power. The two go hand in hand, which is why Bernie and Jill didnât resonate with me and Trump is...like I said Iâd rather have the EPA around. Gary Johnson is much in the same vein as Hillary on this one, supporting both the EPA and nuclear power, but his focus on free-market solutions would have ultimately been counter-productive. Also he doesnât know what Aleppo is.
Youâd have to convince me that somehow we could end nuclear power altogether while still cutting down on carbon emissions. Spoiler: we canât, or at least not right now. And no, donât give me this thorium or cold fusion crap, we do not have time to sit around twiddling our thumbs hoping for things that may never materialize while the earth is dying right this very moment.
Iâm glad Donald Trump supports nuclear power. That will ultimately be beneficial for our environment. On the other hand without the EPA we are thoroughly screwed and he doesnât even think climate change exists.
Plus heâs a racist, sexist, Islamophobic, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-science, economically illiterate jackwagon. But you already knew that.
Ah the Geiger counter, named for Hans Geiger and an indispensable instrument for many scientific applications. Geiger counters contain a Geiger-MĂŒller tube that detects ionizing radiation and whoa, back up a sec, who the hell is MĂŒller again?
Poor Walther MĂŒller, never remembered despite his important contributions. Walther MĂŒller was one of Geigerâs PhD students and they collaborated together to create the Geiger-MĂŒller tube, a major improvement on the tube Geiger had created several years prior. Since Geiger was the teacher and the one who initially discovered the principle by how such a tube could work, he gets all the recognition. Of course his first invention was only capable of detecting alpha particles so it wasnât terribly useful but it pays to be ahead of the pack.
Still, it canât be fun to not see your name where it should be. Those of us in the business know about Walther MĂŒller but saying two names is too much work so a lot of us just say things like âG-M detection.â Sorry Walther, at least take comfort in the fact that I spent 6 whole minutes writing a post about you.
Easy Steps You Can Take to Reduce Your Exposure to Radiation
The fear of radiation is a persistent one in our society. While I am a careless person working around radioactive material and constantly jeopardizing my life with it, I realize that not everyone is as reckless as I am, so Iâve compiled a list of tips and tricks to help you preserve your health. These are all very simple lifestyle changes you can make and you should seriously consider them.
1. Renovate your house.
Thereâs a lot you can do to improve your safety at home. Poorly ventilated basements can accumulate radon, an unstable element and the number one cause of lung cancer among non-smokers. An easy solution is to fill your basement with concrete. Granite is also naturally radioactive so if you have granite counter tops you should consider ripping them out. Sleep under lead blankets at night. In addition, smoke detectors have radioactive americium-241 inside of them so it is a good idea to throw those out too.
2. Change your diet.
Even the food we eat presents a danger to us. Here are some problem foods to avoid:
bananas
spinach
Brazil nuts
coffee
potatoes
avocados
meat
water
This is not a complete list. In general, the best diet will be one that is low in both potassium and carbon.
3. Rethink your travel plans.
Earthâs atmosphere shields us from most of the cosmic radiation coming to us from space. The higher your elevation, the less atmosphere you have above you to protect you. Airplane flights can significantly increase your exposure. Instead of flying out to see your sister in Denver, meet up with her in an area at a low altitude. In addition, avoid any locations near nuclear test sites, coal or nuclear power plants, or radioactive waste storage. Stay away from places with naturally occurring radioactivity in the soil.
4. Stop seeking medical treatment.
The doctor and the dentist are completely in love with radiation. Whether it be X-rays, PET scans, or CT scans, modern medicine is a terrifying place nowadays and these procedures should be avoided if at all possible.
5. Purchase dosimeters.
There are many devices that can help you monitor your exposure. One of my favorites is the GEM-5 monitor, available for purchase here. It is a compact device that a person steps into. It would be a good idea to put it in all your doorways so that you can prevent any contaminated people from entering your home. There is also the Harshaw line of TLDs from Thermo Fisher Scientific. You will need to buy a TLD reader as well if you choose to get one. Medcom also makes a very slim and attractive Geiger counter for the affordable cost of $749.00. You can buy it here.Â
Hopefully my advice to you was helpful. These are very easy methods to improve your life and keep you and your loved ones safe. If you have any other tricks that you use in your daily life, send me a reply!
Anyone who has ever had a job involving radiation exposure has probably made a joke or two about dying of cancer, glowing, gaining superpowers, or growing third eyeballs.Â
                                                                        photo is me
These are the things we say because we know the risks are small but perhaps deep down weâre still trying to reassure ourselves that weâre going to be fine. They come from a tongue-in-cheek perspective.  Weâre not completely serious even if the increased chance of cancer is a real possibility.  (Itâs about a 0.04% increase actually and possibly even lower, which is so absurdly tiny but the fact that itâs even there is bound to make people uneasy). The public wrings their hands and our families on the outside fret about whether weâre going to be safe on the job. With our coworkers and others in the know, we crack our jokes but we know how the public would react. Quite badly. Itâs why we often try to hold ourselves with dignity and represent ourselves well since we work in a poorly understood field.
But since no one reads my Tumblr Iâm just gonna tell you anyway.
The fears about ionizing radiation are based in reality. Acute Radiation Sickness is an absolutely horrifying way to go and even if you survive itâs not exactly the most pleasant experience. It will be painful, slow, agonizing, and the only superpowers youâll gain will be the ability to shoot vomit and diarrhea out of your body at warp speed. You can get those superpowers from under-cooked chicken too if you want to spare yourself the trouble.
The reality is that it is very unlikely for the average person to be exposed to enough radiation to kill them. Most deaths or injuries related to radioactivity have involved massive stupidity, carelessness, active malice, or disasters beyond our control. What Iâm saying is, donât be scared.
There is a continuous battle being waged to this day about what units to use in science. Youâd think the obvious answer would be SI units, seeing as they are used on an international level, but us âMuricans are stubborn to the core. We march to the beat of our own drum. We use units that are nonsensical and arbitrary. Why use base 10 when you could define the foot as 12 inches and the mile as 5280 feet? Weâre cool like that. We have style and we have flair.
This wacky system knows no bounds. Whether itâs length, mass, or any number of measurements, weâve got a lovely system that induces headaches and requires a calculator within reaching distance at all times. Nuclear science is of course no exception. And sure, sometimes we try to bridge the gap between the units but this only leads to âintuitiveâ conversions such as 1 meter equals 40 inches. Why not just use the metric system from the jump? Well that would be logical and therefore ridiculous. And donât even get me started on the use of the delightful unit âmicro-micro-curiesâ instead of âpico-curies.â But only in certain contexts. Sometimes we use pico-curies too. So letâs take a closer look at the units.
First weâll dive a bit into the science. What makes a substance radioactive? Simply put, we have an atom which is unstable and undergoes some sort of decay in order to make it more stable. There are several types of decay but all we need is a measurement of how many of these processes occur in a given amount of time. In this case we call the process a âdisintegrationâ regardless of what type it is. This unit is a measure of radioactivity. So what do Americans use? We use the curie, abbreviated as âCi,â and disintegrations per second, or dps.
1 Ci = 3.7 Ă 1010 dps
The SI unit for radioactivity is the becquerel, abbreviated as âBq.â
1 Bq = 1 dps
Oh.
So clearly the becquerel is a much more intuitive unit, but on the other hand I had to Google how to spell it so Iâm going to have to knock a couple points off there.
Next up we need some units to measure how much energy is being released from the atom when it decays. First up: the Roentgen, pronounced with a silent O, a hard G, and abbreviated as âR.â The way weâre measuring energy here is how much ionization in air the photons released (gamma and X-rays) will cause per unit mass. Ionization here is measured in a unit called the esu. Ionization is the process of changing the charge on an atom, so here weâre essentially measuring how many electrons will be ejected from their atoms per unit mass of air. However, historically the Roentgen was based on volume of air so certain conditions for the air had to be defined so that volume could be correctly converted to mass. These conditions are standard pressure and temperature (abbreviated as STP), defined as 760 millimeters of mercury (abbreviated as 760mmHg) and 0°C. So to recap, we have this disaster of a definition to contend with.
1 R = 1 esu/cm3 at STP
So letâs get this hot mess into SI units. The SI analog of the esu is the Coulomb (abbreviated as C).
1 esu = 3.33564 Ă 10â10 C
Now we need the volume of air per cubic centimeter. 760mmHg is roughly 101kPa, so at STP the density of air is 1.293 kg/m3. With some fancy math and conversions, we finally end up with
1 R = 2.58 Ă 10â4 C/kg
Now if you have a headache, youâre in good company because I have one too and I use the Roentgen on a daily basis. The National Institute of Standards and Technology has been begging us in the industry to quit using this antiquated unit, but their pleas have sadly fallen on deaf ears.
So now we have the Roentgen but unfortunately this unit only works with air under very specific conditions. What happens if we want to know how much energy has been deposited in a metal or another substance? Enter the rad, a measure that is not so rad at all since a few hundred of them will straight up kill you. There are certain factors you can use to convert the Roentgen to the rad since different materials will absorb different amounts of energy.Â
The rad originates from the cgs unit system, a system I had the unfortunate experience of using during one of my college electromagnetism classes. See, in the SI system the base units are the meter, kilogram, and second. In cgs they are the centimeter, gram, and second. Yikes. In the SI system, energy is measured in Joules but in cgs the unit is the âergâ which is the angry grunt sound you make when you discover that youâre going to be forced to use that unit. The cgs system does occasionally make math easier in certain contexts but for me it was just a nuisance and I was relieved to never experience it in college again. Anyway, on to our definition.
1 erg = g·cm2/s2Â
Thatâs...actually not so bad. And luckily for us the cgs system uses the metric system so with a little bit of fiddling we get this handy conversion.
1 erg = 10â7 J
Phew. As for the rad, itâs pretty simple.
1 rad = 100 erg/g
The SI equivalent of the erg is the gray (abbreviated as Gy).
1 Gy = 1 J/kg
And now we are finally ready to convert.
1 rad = 0.01 Gy
That was a lot more satisfying, but the rad still doesnât give us the whole story. One of the biggest reasons we want to measure radiation is because it can do quite a bit of damage to our bodies. The rad tells you how much energy has been deposited in a substance but it doesnât tell you how much actual harm that will cause to you. Here we move onto the Roentgen Equivalent Man, or rem. To convert from the rad to the rem requires knowing the sensitivity of the tissue exposed, what type of radiation has been absorbed and in the case of neutron radiation, how much energy the neutrons had. This conversion is based on a constant which by definition has no units. The SI analog to the rem is the Sievert (abbreviated Sv). And now we can relate the two.
1 rem = 0.01 Sv
So now weâve seen how ridiculously screwy the units we have in America are but Iâll leave you on one last thing to consider. Since radiation is dangerous we obviously need some sort of sign or indicator to warn others of its presence. This is the sign that is used internationally.
Alright that seems pretty standard. Yellow and black are typically used to warn of danger. Anyone seeing this who didnât know what it meant could probably guess that itâs a sign of something to avoid.
And now we move on to the American symbol.
Brace yourself.
Put some sunglasses on.
Sit down on a comfortable chair and pad the floor.
Turn the brightness down on your monitor.
Donât say I didnât warn you.
Here it comes...
Look away if your retinas are feeling seared. Is this a danger symbol or a sign inviting people to an â80s themed party? Is there a rave going on? I canât tell if this is less scary or even more terrifying than the international symbol.
Yes, we Americans use a magenta and yellow symbol, the logic being that it looks different than other warning symbols due to its, um, unique color scheme. Apparently this is a good thing? And yes, it is magenta. It is not pink. I reiterate, IT IS NOT PINK.Â
Weâre a special people, us Americans. Truly truly special.
Gettinâ real tired of âenvironmentalistsâ trying to ban nuclear power without a back-up plan besides âsolar and wind and renewables and stuff.â In other words, unicorn farts and fairy dust will magically replace 20% of Americaâs energy supply. Totally feasible, guys.
