Holding on to hurt.
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Holding on to hurt.
— danagray
It's strange how we think of our partners as soulmates all up until it ends.
Like the 'perfect dress' in a store until you find a better one
And then you look at your last choice with disgust.
I don't regret you. I don't care how it ended. I don't care about your worst. I remember how it began and how happy it made me. I won't ever regret you.
I’m a mess who doesn’t know what she wants anymore
~ yeah fine I miss you shutup
can we just start over, without all the fucked up shit?
If they wanted to, they would
You’re still in my life, even if you don’t think you are. You’re in every show you told me about. You’re in every book you love. You’re in every song you sang. I won’t pretend I don’t miss you. I see you in everything that we once shared.
"But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it."
- Calla Quinn
I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you every night, every day.
i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest
I think about you a lot.
All the time, actually.
In the morning, at night,
in the middle of my day. It's you.
It's just always you.
Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.
— Emery Allen
~ note from 21/11/22 ~
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU JUST MISS SOMEONE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THEM BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY DON'T MISS YOU, AFTER YOU FUCKED UP AND REALLY HURT THEM BECAUSE YOU WERE SO AFRAID OF BEING LOVED THAT YOU PUSHED THEM AWAY IN ORDER TO CHASE AFTER SOMEONE WHO COULD NEVER LOVE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU DESERVED, AND ONCE YOU REALISED AND WENT BACK TO THAT PERSON YOU HAD RUN OUT OF SECOND CHANCES AND INSTEAD SPEND MONTHS BEING HEARTBROKEN OVER WHAT YOU COULD HAVE HAD IF ONLY YOU KNEW BETTER BUT NOW THAT YOU FINALLY DO IT'S TOO LATE
yeah, me too
I know grief goes through us in waves.
Even though I was the one to end things, I still feel the loss of what we were. I still remember how much I loved you, back when we were both happy. The way you made me feel.
Sometimes my mind doesn't want to remember the bad things. I have to remind myself that you were the one who hurt me first. How you lied and manipulated reality in order to paint yourself in a better light. Your empty words and promises showed me how you're not capable of ever truly putting me first.
You really solidified in my head that I was doing the right thing, even as I struggled to accept that things were ending. As the story of our future in my mind shattered, I realised I never truly gave myself the chance to mourn us and everything that we could have been. And so I write this in the hope that it will alleviate some of the loneliness I feel at the thought of no longer having you around