Cassie

[coffin-kisses]

Survival Tip #18 - Living Is the Hard Part

Killing them? That gets easier.

Running? You get good at that too.

It’s the quiet that gets you.

When there’s no one left to fight, no place left to run, no reason left that makes sense- you’re just… there. Breathing. Eating. Waking up the next day like it means something.

That’s the part no one warns you about.

You don’t break when everything falls apart.

You break after.

[coffin-kisses]

So. I lost my phone.

And no, not in the “oops I dropped it in the toilet” way — though that would’ve been a mercy. No. I lost it to those jackbooted fascist spreadsheet-humping ARC pricks at a checkpoint.

They flagged me for a “random inspection.” You know, the kind where they “randomly” take your gear, your time, and your dignity. They went through my pack, my pockets, even made me take off my boots. And then they saw my phone and got real quiet.

“Unauthorized communication device,” the guy said.

I said, “It’s a phone. It barely gets signal. It’s cracked. The screen looks like a spiderweb had a panic attack.”

But apparently it’s a security risk. A security risk. Like I’m gonna text the undead: “yo, meetup spot’s the Waffle House ruins. BYOB—Bring Your Own Brains.”

They confiscated it. Just… walked off with it. No paperwork. No receipt. No “file a claim” bullshit. Just pocketed it and waved me on.

That phone had my maps. My notes. My photos. A voice memo of my mom laughing, which… yeah. That one hurts.

So if you’re reading this — especially you ARC scumbags, if you’re scraping this blog for “threats to compliance” — choke on your own authority. I hope my phone bricks the next time you try to charge it. I hope the undead storm your little cubicle fort of misery and leave nothing but your badge number and a half-eaten tie.

Luckily, I managed to dig up the toughest, ugliest, most unkillable phone known to mankind: a goddamn Nokia brick. Thing looks like it survived five apocalypses and a nuclear winter, and still boots up like it just had coffee.

And yeah — somehow this thing can still post to my blog. No idea how. It’s probably powered by spite and dark magic.

Rest in peace, little smartphone.

Long live the indestructible dumbphone.

[coffin-kisses]

You know what’s stupid? Like, brain-meltingly dumb?

I used to hate when my mom called me.

Every damn time. Always while I was doing something—eating, driving, doomscrolling, whatever. It was always:

“Hey sweetie, just checking in!”

And I’d say “Yeah, I’m fine, Mom,” in that way where you mean please let me go back to pretending the world doesn’t exist.

And she’d say something silly, like reminding me to drink water or asking if I still had my winter coat.

Then I’d hang up, roll my eyes, and go on with my day.

I would pay actual blood to get one of those calls right now.

I don’t know where she is.

No clue if she made it out, or if she…

I mean, she lived in the suburbs. Not exactly tactical central.

She was strong, though. Not in a guns-and-knives way, but in that stubborn, single-mom-who-survived-three-hurricanes kind of way.

She probably turned her neighborhood watch into a goddamn militia.

That’s what I tell myself, anyway.

But it gets harder every day not to picture her—

—just not making it.

Not even knowing what hit her.

And I keep thinking about the last time we talked.

She asked if I wanted to come over for dinner, and I said I was busy.

Busy doing what, Cass? Watching dumb videos and microwaving burritos?

Yeah.

Real busy.

So, I don’t know.

If you still got someone out there—mom, dad, friend, whatever—

and you’ve been putting off that call,

don’t.

Don’t wait.

You never know when the world’s gonna end.

Or worse—

when it already did,

and you just didn’t call in time.

[coffin-kisses]

Shovel Guy

Okay, so—picture this. I’m raiding a gas station, right? Trying to decide whether I want to risk food poisoning from a dented can of chili or just eat another goddamn protein bar that tastes like drywall, when I hear the unmistakable sound of a scuffle outside.

I peek out the busted window, expecting the usual: a guy screaming, a shambler groaning, maybe someone panicking and firing wildly like it’s the 4th of July.

Nope.

It’s just this dude. Quiet. Calm. Holding a shovel.

A shovel.

And not even a cool one. Like, not sharpened or reinforced or dipped in barbed wire or anything. Just a boring old rusty Home Depot garden-variety dirt flinger.

And he wrecks them.

One swing—whap, zombie’s head is backwards. Next one, thwunk, right in the knee, and that thing just collapses like an old lawn chair. Then he stomps its head with a boot that still had a price tag dangling off it. Stylish, right?

And the guy? Doesn’t even say a word. Just scoops up a dropped backpack with the same damn shovel, slings it over his shoulder, and walks off like it’s just another Tuesday.

I was so stunned I didn’t even loot the store. I just stood there, holding a can of expired peaches and questioning everything I knew about physics and weaponry.

So anyway. Shovels. Apparently they slap now.

[coffin-kisses]

Okay. Okay. I need to get this off my chest before I explode like a propane tank in a burning trailer.

The other day, I found a stash. Like a real, honest-to-god freezer chest full of pizza rolls. Do you know what that does to a person who’s been living off canned beans and squirrel jerky for six months? I nearly cried. I hugged the box. I whispered "it's okay now" to a bag of Totino’s.

So I drag them back to camp like I just found the Holy Grail, light a fire, make a little metal pan, and lovingly roast those greasy bastards like they're filet mignon. I take one bite—just one—and then WHAM.

Zombie. Right through the bushes. No moaning. No warning. Just full sprint, like it smelled the flavor and came to ruin my night.

I panicked. I flung the pan. The pizza rolls flew through the air like cheesy little comets. One lands in the fire. One lands in my boot. One bounces off the zombie’s face.

Which is the only good part. It actually staggered. Like it was offended by the taste.

Long story short: I killed it. My boot smells like death and marinara. And I will never trust pizza rolls again.

The world ended. But somehow, this was worse.

[coffin-kisses]

Survival Tip #17 - Keep it Short

Long hair? Looks cool in the movies.

Out here? It’s a handle.

Zombies don’t aim. They grab. And guess what they grab first? That thick, luxurious ponytail you thought made you look like a badass.

Nah. It makes you look grabbable.

I've seen it happen. Screaming, thrashing, and that awful snap when someone’s neck goes the wrong way because a shambler got a good tug. And don’t get me started on looters. If they’re dirty enough to shoot you, they’re dirty enough to drag you by the scalp.

So—scissors. Razor. Knife. Hell, a broken bottle if you have to. Just get it short.

It’s not about looking good. It’s about not dying.

~Cassie

(pixie cut, zero regrets)

Get the game here: DEAD SIMPLE

[thoughtportal]

anti sex work online is used as a wedge to expand the surveillance state and discrimination of LGBTQ art.

[coffin-kisses]

Seriously, if you're anti LGBTQ or support Mastercard- don't follow me. Don't download my game. Do not interact with me.

[anim-ttrpgs]

Plan of Action and Complaint Template Regarding Adult Content Being Delisted from Itchio

Alright so as y’all may or may not know, credit card companies and other payment facilitators have put pressure on digital storefronts such as Steam and Itch.io to remove “adult content” recently largely due to lobbying by fringe radical organizations. It would be bad enough if it just affected actual porn, but you know to these people “porn” means “anything that even mentions a homosexual.” Several of my team’s projects including mini-expansions to Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy “The Fanservice Files” and “The XXX-Files,” as well as team artist @chaospyromancy’s personal side project “A Squad of Drow” have been delisted from itch.io as of last night though they are still available by direct link or from our main account page and you can still pay us for them for now but there is no telling how long they'll actually stay up. Many others have had their projects completely delisted or outright removed, and are having payments withheld from them. If you don't want to see us and other creators pushed under by this crap, you need to do something about it.

People affected by this far outnumber the people who lobbied to make it happen. These organizations are very vocal but also relatively small and very fringe, and since it is a policy decision that was created by complaints it may be able to be destroyed by complaints.

Here are the phone numbers of these companies and an email address I was able to find. We need to blow their phones off the wall and fill their inboxes with customer complaints.

Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372 Mastercard (Int.): [phone] Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911 Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440 PayPal(UK): [phone]

Paypal (US) 1 888 221 1161

For investor relations:

914-249-4565 (Mastercard) 650 432 7644 (visa)

Visa Email Address: [email protected]

Mastercard Contact Form: https://b2b.mastercard.com/contact-us/

Saying stuff like “sex work is real work” and “this affects black trans women,” while true, is not the kind of thing that is going to tug at the heartstrings of lib-conservative CEOs and board members and their PR teams. They’re mercenary. You need to tell them how this is going to hurt their wallets and make their customers very unhappy.

If feasible, you need to get your moms and dads on this too, and get them to get their friends on it, etc.

40-60-year old middle class white people high credit scores and stuff will have more sway with these corporations than any young adult trans person.

My team has put together a template for your phone calls and emails. Take the template and delete the [bracketed parts] that don’t apply to you.

“My name is [_____], and I’m contacting you about your recent decision to alter your user policies regarding adult content and thereby putting pressure on digital storefronts like itch.io and Steam to hide and remove adult content. By doing so, you're cutting off a significant revenue stream, [and as someone with financial investment in your company, this has me extremely concerned]

[I both buy and sell that blocked content, so this is directly interfering in my finances, and I will seek compensation.]

Products I paid for are no longer available to me, [and people are buying my products without the money going to me because of your interference with the payment processing.]

If you don’t want to lose customers and face potential legal trouble, these policies which pressure itch.io, Steam, and other digital storefronts need to be reversed.

You have changed these policies because of Collective Shout, a radical group from Australia that sent only a mere 1000 calls to destroy a significant revenue stream on your part and to interfere with my finances. This decision literally affects millions of people and millions of dollars, and so I expect a prompt response on reversing these policy changes and removing the pressure on itch.io and Steam to ban adult content on their sites. [As a cardholder, I worry that these new policies are responding to a vocal minority of customers, and I’m left doubting the reliability, versatility, and integrity of your services. I use these services to securely and conveniently make the transactions I see fit, and it’s disappointing to see legitimate, legal transactions be excluded.]

[I am furious that an American company would bend so easily to a lobbying group from a foreign country.]”

There is also a petition you can sign here.

[anim-ttrpgs]

I have fixed and updated some of the important information on this post, such as adding more phone numbers and . If you see versions of it floating around, at least more sure it is a version without the reference to the bill being introduced in the government before reblogging it, I jumped the gun on that.

[coffin-kisses]

Sex work is work even in digital space. Censorship sucks. Sign the damn petition. /Rant

[coffin-kisses]

Jeckyl Dogs?!

Okay so, fuck everything about today. I saw a dog. A DOG.

Like an actual German Shepherd-looking thing, sitting on a porch with its head cocked, wagging its tail like it was about to ask for belly rubs and a treat. I about cried right there. Thought maybe it’d wandered off from a survivor group or—I don’t know—not be totally nightmare fuel wrapped in fur.

So I got close. Stupid, I know. You can shut up now.

I get maybe ten feet away and it just… changes.

The wagging stops. The head tilts the other way, like something in it was clicking into place. Its eyes go dead. I shit you not—its tongue flopped out like it’s trying to taste the fear in the air.

It leapt straight at me. No bark. No warning. Like it went from Lassie to Cujo in zero seconds flat.

You ever had a childhood memory try to kill you? Because that’s what that was. That’s not a dog anymore. That’s a goddamn Jeckyl in a fur coat and I hate it and I hate this apocalypse and I’m never trusting anything that wags again. Ever. Tail, tongue, finger, you wag at me and we’re fighting.

So yeah. That’s the rant. Jeckyl dogs exist. They're fast, they're clever, and they use nostalgia like bait. Totally, irrevocably, and cosmically fucked up.

Shoot them before they get close. If it looks cute and you hear a wet clicking noise? Run. Run and never look back.

[indie-ttrpg-of-the-week]

Kill Credit card Companies

[indie-ttrpg-of-the-week]

This blog supports pornographic and erotic artists and developers, and wishes them good luck in finding fucking anything that'll take them nowadays

Bless you all, and may the puritan fucks pushing you out of everywhere know nothing but pain and sorrow

[indie-ttrpg-of-the-week]

Mastercard: Sex Work is Work. End Your Unjust Policy.

Mastercard's new policy unfairly targets the adult content industry, making sex workers more vulnerable, especially Black trans women. It mu

If you want to actually help artists, sign this shit, i'll send some games that got hit by the shadowban in here soon

support nsfw artists while they're still allowed to exist

[dollthingposts]

being a GM is really fun because sometimes you can make your players go through some really traumatic Evangelion bullshit, but other times you can force them to go bowling for no reason

[anim-ttrpgs]

If any of y'all had tips for aspiring TTRPG creators, what would they be? I'm hosting a "How to Make your own TTRPG" panel at a con this weekend, and anything to show folks from a fellow indie studio would be great!

Yeah a bunch. Each one of these could basically be its own post, but here are the condensed versions.

Social Media

You need social media. No one will ever hear of your game without a strong social media presence. And as much as it sucks, your best bet is probably tumblr. It’s the only populated social media site that allows your posts to be widely circulated without you having to pay, and also long form enough to actually include information. I dedicate one day a week entirely to social media and that’s just about the only reason we make any money at all.

Also, when using tumblr, the first five tags you put on a post are the most important, those are the tags that make it show up on people’s dashboards. The first twenty tags are the ones that make it show up in search results. Don’t put the name of your game in the first five tags generally, because if no one has heard of it yet, no one is following those tags.

Don’t Paywall Your Game

You deserve to be paid for your work if you indeed did any work at all (we’ll get to that), but that just isn’t the world we live in. Unless you have an advertising budget to essentially trick people into buying a game that might end up being crap, you need something to prove that your game is worth spending money on. Without an advertising budget, that proof has to be your game. Setting your game to pay-what-you-want, or providing “community copies,” lets people try your game before they buy. Plenty of people will buy up-front when given the option, and others who can’t afford it at that moment will download it for free then come back and pay later. Some people will never pay, but what that means for you is that they either never experience your game, or they pirate it. People experiencing your game, showing it to their friends, and talking about it is one of the most valuable pieces of advertisement you can ever have. It will ultimately lead to more people who are willing and able to pay learning about your game.

Start Small but Not Too Small

Do not make a one-page game for your first game. Do not be like us and make a 700-page game for your first game. Try to aim for something between 20 and 200 pages, especially if you’re one person or a small team.

Play and Read a lot of RPGs or Your Game Will Suck

Would you watch a movie by a director who had only ever watched one movie? Would you read a book by an author who had only ever read one book? Hell no, those would suck.

Read many rpg rulebooks, from many different genres and decades, play as many of them as you can (by the rules) to understand how the rules work and why they’re there. This will give you the creative tools you need to make something that isn’t just a weaker version of the last RPG you played. No, listening to "actual plays" does not count.

Most actual plays stray significantly from presenting a regular gameplay experience in favor of an experience that is entertaining for an audience. If you want to learn martial arts, you should be watching martial arts tournaments, not WWE.

If you want an actual play podcast that has my “actually mostly presents a real gameplay experience” approval, try Tiny Table.

If you say you don’t have time to read rulebooks, then you don’t have time to design a good game. Studying is part of the process of creating. If you don't, you won't even know about gleeblor.

This will let you know whether your "innovation" is more like "Cars don't need to run on gasoline!" or "Cars don't need crumple zones and airbags!"

The Rules Matter, So Design with Intent

The rules matter the rules fucking matter holy shit what you actually write down on the page matters I can’t believe this is actually the seemingly most needed piece of advice on this list. The. rules. matter.

Design your game to be played in the way you designed it. The rules affect the tone and genre of your game, they affect the type of people PCs can be and the kind of stories that will result from gameplay. Bonuses encourage PC behaviors, penalties discourage PC behaviors.

Do not fall for the trap of “oh well people will just play it their own way based on vibes anyway so it doesn’t matter what I write the rules to be.” Write that you wrote this game to be played by the rules and that significant changes to the rules mean that players are no-longer playing the game you made. Write like you deserve for your art to be acknowledged by its audience. If you don’t, then there is no point in anyone playing the game you made, because if the person who wrote it doesn’t even care what the rules say, why should anyone? The people whose “playing” of TTRPGs consists of never opening the rulebook and improving based on “vibes” will still do that no matter what, but the people who would have actually tried to engage with your game will find that it sucks if you don’t even care what the rules are yourself.

Playtest

You need to playtest your game if you want it to work as intended. You need multiple sets of eyes on it. If you don’t have the opportunity personally to do so, just release your game anyway with the acknowledgement that it’s unfinished. Call it an alpha or a beta version, and ask for people that do play it to give feedback, then update and fix the game based on that feedback.

Ignore Feedback

Most people do not have any game design credibility, perhaps least of all TTRPG players. You do not, in fact, have to listen to everything people say about your game. Once you ask for feedback, people will come to you with the most deranged, asinine, bad-faith “feedback” you can imagine, and then get really mad at you when you don’t fall to your knees and kiss their feet about it. You do not need to take this feedback at face value, instead you need to learn to read between the lines and find out which parts of the rules text are being misinterpreted by players, and which incorrect assumptions players are making about your game. Then, you update and improve the game by clearing those up. Only like 30% of “feedback” you receive will actually be a directly helpful suggestion in its own right at face value.

You can’t please everyone, and shouldn’t, so appeal to the people who actually like your game for being what it is, not the people who don’t.

Read Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Beta Mar. 1st 2025 by Agency of Narrative Intrigue and Mystery

A TTRPG for deep character roleplay, realistic combat, player deduction, and secret monster antics!

Yeah this one sounds self-serving but hear me out. Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is as much a treatise on TTRPG game design as it is a game itself. When it presents mechanics and rules, it tells you what they are, why they are, how they are, and what you’re intended to do with them. This makes it an excellent example to read for anyone wanting to get serious about game design and learn how TTRPGs tick under the hood, and an excellent example of a TTRPG that expects players to play it the way it was written to be played, and why that is a good thing. Also you can download it for free.

[soulmuppet]

Some thoughts posted on our bsky yesterday that I think are relevant to share here as well. Please talk about the things you like!

If you've got a reddit account talk about games you like on r/rpg. They hate self promo over there but love hearing about new games.

Also QRT self promo posts with your own opinions / pitch.

Also also, play the games! It's fun and shares the experience of new games

[supersexyactioncomics]

Got more sales from one person on tumblr talking earnestly about what they liked about valiant quest than I ever got through me actively attempting to push the game and 'self promote' which mostly just made me feel like an intruder and a garbage capitalist no matter how unintrusive I tried to be about it.

This will never stop giving me anxiety.

[coffin-kisses]

Survivor of the Week: Pebbles the Pyro Queen

Alright, I promised a segment—and I deliver. This one ain’t about zombies, but it’s just too damn good not to share.

This week’s survivor shoutout goes to a badass going by the name Pebbles (don’t let the name fool you, she’s got more stones than most of us put together). She and her partner were out scavenging when they got jumped by three looters. Armed. Dangerous. Probably desperate.

Now, most folks would've run. Not Pebbles.

She pulls out a 2-liter bottle filled with gasoline—homemade molotov style, but no rag. Just pressure, liquid, and sheer guts. She hurls it at the guy in the middle and that sucker explodes like a water balloon full of pure nope. He’s drenched, reeking of gas and panic.

Then her partner—who I’m calling Matches—starts flicking a lighter. Click. Click. Click. Just watching. Middle guy starts screaming. Other two start backing off. They ran. Smart move.

But here’s the kicker: Pebbles and Matches walk up. Matches pulls a cig from the middle guy’s pocket. Lights it. Takes a long drag. Then flicks it onto him.

Boom. Crispy Critter. No loot for the looters today.

So shoutout to Pebbles. Queen of improvisation. Master of intimidation. Patron saint of "don’t start none, won’t be none."

Stay savage out there.

[ex0skeletal-undead]

It Saw Itself by Just1Camilo

[coffin-kisses]

Absolutely lovin' this style.

[thewindowofthesummerhouse]

Nightcrow Nightingale                                                                            

[coffin-kisses]