during their separation, skylar never really thought about how xavier would be affected, the brunet going through his own transformation – reincarnating himself as a second version. at the time, it seemed to be best for the two to separate – skylar in no position to put any effort into a relationship. now, though, looking at xavier hurts – her heart aching because she hadn’t intended to cause him turmoil. “ oh, ” she says softly in surprise, because she would have expected him to hate her in the same way she loathes herself. “ yeah, i get what ya’ mean. ” she adds because she really does. multiple times skylar has caught herself staring at xavier in the halls wondering how he was doing. they had gone from talking multiple times a day to avoiding any contact. she sits back as she hugs her knees into her chest, head resting on top of them as she observes xavier silently. his words chink at the ice coating her heart as she looks at him sadly. “ i – that’s gonna take some time. i dunno, i guess sometimes i am. rarely ever when ‘m sober. ” she sighs, barely able to speak with the emotion that clogs her throat. “ but it’s not your fault. ” skylar adds quickly, unwilling to let him blame himself for her melancholy. “ ya’ deserve to be happy too x, are ya’ ? ” she asks, forcing the attention on him to give her space to digest the heaviness of their conversation. shaking her head, skylar breathes out, “ no. ” it wasn’t him. skylar has been in pain for a while, putting herself through her own personal hell as she relives the accident over & over. her unwillingness to let go of the past keeps the wounds open, phone riddled with one way texts to a number that will never respond. “ i know i hurt you though, ” skylar whispers, eyes watering slightly. “ ‘m sorry. ”
xavier was an emotional paradox. pride, lust, and wrath all manifested fairly clearly for the male. in fact, anger was the one of the only emotions he couldn’t hide well. yet, shame, guilt, and sorrow were easier to conceal. rarely did people know what was going on in his heart due to the many walls and facades he created. yet, it wasn’t so easy to hide his feelings when it came to skylar. maybe that was the reason he ducked his head down in the halls whenever he caught a glimpse of her face. it was easier to ignore her than admit that his heart had been broken. the surprise in her tone makes xav’s heart sink a little lower. the last thing he wants is for her to think he hates her. he follows suit, repositioning to sit on the ground more comfortably. it becomes clear than neither are leaving anytime soon. “you deserve to be happy. i’m sorry i couldn’t help with that,” he breathes, feeling the guilt press heavily on his chest. maybe if he had reached out matters would’ve been a little easier for the two. it’s almost as if she reads his mind, words of assurance barely registering within his mind. “i know,” he states weakly. but he really doesn’t. what he does know is that he’s been doing things with people he shouldn’t, turning around and hurting sky inadvertently. it couldn’t have been easy watching him get hauled into the dean’s office with a black eye and bloodied knuckles, or crashing his brand new wrangler after reckless driving, or blacking out at his extravagant parties. he had been extremely selfish, and his pain was manifesting in viscous and unintended ways. “i...don’t know,” he admits finally, “i just...i think i peaked in high school.” the final words are meant to come off as a joke, but the breathless laugh makes it clear that it is a real fear. he nods solemnly at her affirmation, pressure softening slightly. her words cause him to blink dumbly, a stray tear falling. he pulls her towards him, arms wrapping around her tiny figure. he doesn’t know why he does this, but it feels right. it feels like closure. “i love you, sky,” he mumbles into her hair. the way he says it means more than the type of love they shared before. it’s different now, more mature. their chapter had closed, and it was something out of their control. life happened, and they did the best they could. xavier couldn’t blame anyone for the separation, and for that reason he no longer feels remorse. instead, he can’t help but feel a certain tenderness towards the brunette after everything.
