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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@collegegirladvice
1. See it as a process, not a one time event. When you make a change in your life, there are lots of small adaptations to be made. It takes time to process and adjust to those changes – so be patient with yourself. 2. Change the way you think about change. Try to...
After college plans.
Just thought I’d post some of my favorite pictures from fall 14 semester
college boy advice
aiiiiiiight fellas, this ones for you. whether you're a douchebag or the regional manager of weenie hut junior, I'm going to tell you a lil something'-somethin' about the ladies. here we go.
we know when a hook-up is just a hook-up. trying to define things in order to be a "nice guy" is way worse than just ignoring us. pursuing someone you aren't interested in is a dick move. i don't care if you're trying to be nice. it isn't nice. ignore us, it'll lessen the crazy.
if she texts you when she's drunk, she wants to fuck you. i don't care what girls say, unless they're your best friend, she's not going to text you asking what you're doing at 2 am on a saturday night. that betch is dtf.
what to do when she's dtf. okay you gotta be a little awkward in order for this section to matter. now what i'm going to tell you is not the gentleman's response. let's face it, you're all disgusting pigs and the knight in shining armor became extinct when dick pics started being a thing. here's the choose your own adventure portion of college boy advice. if you're interested, please go to option 1. if you're an idiot, go to option 2.
1. congrats! you found a lady friend! alright bud, good choice. the rest is easy from here on out. you invited her over, you went over to her place, whatever. and now's your time to make your move. her drunken mind was made up a long time ago that she was down for this. now it's your job to execute it. don't expect her to make the first move. but go for it, really.
2. no excuses, you're an idiot. but that's okay, you're all idiots anyways. stay classy my dude, but do NOT respond to her drunken texts. it will egg that crazy bitch on, wait until morning and if she's someone you don't want to be awkward around send a casual "ah passed out so early last night, what's up?" text. she'll either be mortified and never respond or bore you to tears thus you can stop responding. win-win, you're a gentleman.
if you're cheating... seriously, you're in college and cheating on your girlfriend?! you're so fucking stupid. no, seriously. break up with her. and if you're going to cheat, don't be dumb about it. no social media, no pictures together whatsoever, no snap chatting, and for the love of god, no tinder.
also, if you get this drunk, ever, you won't live it down. so control your alc.
thats all i got for ya boys
until next time ;)
i refuse to believe that any guy who is super nice isn't hitting on me or gay
No more excuses.
I will forever reblog this
It’s sort of horrifying that we all know what they’re talking about without them really saying it.. that it’s become that much of a norm in our society that we just know.
1 in 4 female college students is faced with sexual assault. We, as women, as men who love women, as people who love people, need to band together in the fight against domestic violence. And it starts by never justifying it. I'm so glad I am a part of a sorority that has a philanthropy I'm passionate about and that I feel I learn more and more about every day.
Searching for a job? Look no further!
It's that time of year, the semester is in full swing and the booze funds you saved up all summer are not where they need to be. But collegegirladvice, what do we do? Do we call our grandparents and nonchalantly complain of how expensive books are? Do we phone our parents, asking them for more laundry money? Collect beer cans? Mooch alcohol off of boys? No my little guppies in this sea called life: I think it's time to get a job.
As someone who has worked a ton of randy jobs, and has a lot of friends who also work randy jobs, I am here to advise you on the pro's and cons of common young people jobs such as...
Working in the caf:
Perks: good hours, you'll never work a weekend night. flexible, through the university so you'll get breaks off automatically.
Cons: smelling like the caf. dealing with hungry students. having to work during tailgate. smelling like the caf.
Off campus, working with food:
Perks: You'll never go hungry. your gpa won't make you lose your job, if you plan on staying in your college town for the summer you'll already have a job. TIPS$$$,
cons: if you want to go home it's often harder to get off, bosses don't care as much about needing off for school and will schedule you while you have class, working with food aint for everyone.
DESK JOBS AKA THE BEST JOBS EVER:
Perks: you get to do your homework while you work. when you're not doing homework you can go on Facebook/tumblr/read pointless buzz feed articles, you get to talk to people, sometimes you can watch netflix, it doesn't feel like you're working a lot when you are
cons: if you work a desk that is manned 24/7 like mine is, the hours can be brutal. Long shifts make you fall asleep. You have to be able to self soothe if no one is around. you don't work with anyone so no one can tell you when you're fucking up. did i mention sleep? oh i miss it.
Lifeguard:
Perks: Easy. Always payed above minimum wage due to the fact that you are a "certified professional." You get to wear a uniform that doesn't make you look like a dumbass. Lots of thinking time. If you're outdoors you get a sick tan.
Cons: If someone dies, it's your fault.
Yes there are more jobs out there but you can learn about those all on your own! ;)
special friends
Special friends are vital in college, and no...i'm not talking about someone you can mack on, I'm talking about something I haven't covered yet: Adults.
Making adult friends on campus is vital. Whether it's a professor, academic advisor, or your freshman year hall director, I don't care. Make a personal connection with them, it will help you so much in the long run with things such as applying for on campus jobs, getting into your academic college, and applying for grad school.
(Please note, this special friend is not your drinking buddy, they're your professional mentor. Treat them like a distant relative your mom wants you to impress)
Growth is painful. Change is painful.But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
— Mandy Hale (via psych-facts)
Drivers on campus
will try to kill you. Beware. I mean let's face it, having a high concentration of drivers and pedestrians between the ages of 18 and 24 is not a good idea. Why? because college students are assholes. Yeah I said it, we're assholes. You know it, I know it. Think about it, do you reaaalllly care about letting that car go before you when you've planned, down to the second, just enough time to walk to class. No. You don't care. And neither does the asshole driving a huge ass SUV just to get across campus when its literally less than a ten minute walk.
people cant drive, don't get killed.
Go greek because then you can hold a trophy and tell people you won greek week when you really came in second...
Boys boys boys
Mmm, my favorite topic. Why? Because like most 19-year-old girls, I am boy obsessed. Now, I am the furthest thing from a boy expert. I mean, this is a department of my life I struggle with. But this whole blog has been about learning from my mistakes, so why not the boy ones as well?
Okay now I have to start this off with a little rant:
WHAT A BOY THINKS OF YOU DOES NOT VALIDATE YOUR EXISTENCE. A boy calling you pretty doesn't make you more pretty. A boy calling you fat doesn't make you more fat. As college women, I think we all struggle with this. Why? I don't know, it's stupid. I don't believe in dressing for boys, and I don't believe in basing what I think of myself off of what others think. (kind of like how i don't believe someone telling me I can pull off red lipstick means i can pull it off. I JUST CAN'T DO IT GUYS LEAVE ME ALONE).
Next.
Hooking up with someone should not make you feel worse about yourself. If it does, stop what you're doing. There are two types of people: people who can have meaningless sex, and people who can't. And it's okay to be on either end of the spectrum. Don't make girls feel shitty if they can have meaningless sex (actually i respect you more. I mean if we all didn't turn bat shit crazy after hooking up the world would be a better place to be a girl). And don't judge girls for not hooking up with anyone if they don't like anyone at the moment. Or even if they do. We have the power, ladies. Let's not forget it.
Okay, we've established not getting down on each other for our friday night conquests (or tuesday afternoon, if you're into that sort of thing). Now, don't you fucking dare let a boy make you feel shitty for hooking up with him. If he calls you a slut: he just wishes you were still sleeping with him. This kid obviously thought you were hot as fuck at one point, so own it. And I know it sucks when they don't call...actually who talks on the phone anymore? It sucks when he doesn't text you and it brings out the psycho bitch in all of us. But there are so so so many more boys coming you're way. You're young and hot, and they're desperate and horny. You shouldn't need a text to tell you that you're above all of their bs.
Okay, now that I got all the "girl power" out of my system... Don't forget to let the right boy in. No one wants to keep pursuing a girl who's not interested. Unfortunately, life is not a romantic comedy where you're going to act like a complete bitch and Matthew McConaughey is going to make you love him by receipting a copious amount of romantic monologues. Brooke Davis isn't the only one who wants a man to fight for her. And a little hard to get is not the issue, the issue is completely closing yourself off to someone who's trying. And that's just plain rude no matter what.
Financial Responsibility
This will probably be the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever written, but whatever. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY IS IMPORTANT. College ain’t cheap, so work, don’t spend money, and keep track of how much is on your bank account so your card isn’t getting declined everywhere you go.
Do it for the boys
Hi. Okay okay, I know that in the past year (or maybe I've just noticed more in the past year because, well, I started college) that there's been the new wave of feminism. One were feminists aren't bra-burning, butchy, man haters that refuse to shave their arm pits. I think we, the generation of young women, have started to realize that it's okay to want equal rights (fuck the glass ceiling, am I right sistas?!) ANYWAYS. In light of that, I've been noticing a few things about girls my age, or girls younger than me that makes me sick. The first thing (and let's be honest, probably the only thing I'll talk about) being the phrase "do it for the boys" Listen up boys: nothing we do is solely for your benefit. When I put make up on in the morning, it's not for you. It's for my own confidence. How I FEEL I look best. When I dress myself, it is NOT for you. If it was, I would be naked all the time (y'all ain't hard to please). Boys need to stop thinking that everything we do is to get a guy. I saw a picture of girls who are a few years younger than I am taking a picture by a spray painted sign that said "tits out for the boys" LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING. This is why I'm single. When I think of the pee brain that put that sign up, and the disrespect that goes along with it, I am appalled. Do boys actually think that works? And if it does, what that that say about the girl with the guy who wants the tits out for the boys? I mean, it's not like we're posting signs that say "DICKS OUT FOR THE GIRLS" no. First of all: we have more class. Second: no one likes looking at penises. They're ugly. Like vaginas. That's why it's called bumping uglies. Okay. I've gone too far. My second story happened today when I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to do something fun, illegal, and that could get both of us in a lot of trouble (I'm such a great influence) and she said no, unless the boy she has a crush on was doing it. WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! I mean I don't believe in peer pressure from your friends, but at least that's more understandable! Doing something for a boy is naive. And won't impress them. And it just frustrates me SOOOO MUCH.
Go Greek
Seriously, just do it.
Life advice from my five year old self
I may have started this blog with advice that stemmed from my first year of college..however, first year of college me wasn't (and still isn't) the smartest gal in town. The five year old me, though, is a genius. Here are some things that I should have carried out throughout my teenage years: 1. Boys will not chase you. When I was in kindergarten, my favorite game was the cootie game. Ya know, the one where the girls chase the boys or the boys chase the girls? I distinctly remember playing this game and when I had finally caught Matthew Dollahan, he turned to me and said "well I'm not chasing you. We just won't play." IT WAS AN EPIPHANY AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT. Boys won't play if they have to chase you. As in, there is such a thing as playing too hard to get. Guys want simple, this isn't a Matthew McConaughey movie. They don't want to overcomplicate their lives with this bat shit crazy girl that expects the dude to throw rocks at her window. So ladies: stop waiting for them. We've come to far as women to be the kind to wait by the phone. Side note: ironically the boy I mentioned that gave me that epiphany, is gay. Turns out I've been chasing men who don't want me for longer than I thought. 2. Don't hold grudges: on my first day of soccer practice in kindergarten the only other girl on the team, jenny mauro, kicked me in the shins to "check if I had shin guards"...I didn't. We're still friends to this day. 3. It's perfectly normal to hate the girl who steals your man...or atleast the girl you think is stealing your man. During class, my kindergarten teacher had moved our seats so I no longer sat next to the love of my elementary school life, nick kopp. Instead he sat next to Nicole Decoste and I sat by a girl in a wheelchair. Nick...Nicole... You see where my personal investigator skills kicked in. And I despised her for a year. See? Still normal to be a psycho bitch at age 5. 4. If you really know the alphabet, you can teach yourself to read. And if you really know about the class your taking, you can ace the test. Study. (Sorry had to fit the scholastics into a post) 5. Don't worry about being the only person who doesn't know how to tie their shoes, you'll learn eventually. When I was in kindergarten I was the last of my classmates to learn how to tie his/her shoes. (My parents both worked a lot and my baby sitter didn't speak English. I learned a lot of stuff later than most kids). But when I went to school other kids would help me tie my shoes in a heartbeat. I relate this to choosing a major/career path. You may not have found what you want to do for the rest of your life yet: but you will. And so what if everyone already knows? By asking them why they chose what they did it can help you decide your own path. 6. When in doubt, ask daddy for money to go to the concession stand aka the concussion stand
The Freshman 15
Something I find funny about people my age, or people in general, is that they will believe anything that anyone tells them if it means they'll lose weight (even I am guilty of buying those "miracle working" diet pills that never work and rip you off). However people won't believe anything if it means they'll gain weight. Like people still believe you can eat fast food everyday and never gain weight. Part of me still believes you can eat fast food everyday and never gain weight. I mean, it's 2014, I feel like calories should no longer be a thing, am I right? And high school seniors don't believe in the freshman 15.
Well listen up for the cold hard truth my friends...it is a real thing. There's no way you are slamming down a case of beer and a fifth every weekend without gaining a lil pudge. Ya know, a little cushin' for the pushin'.
Now the freshman 15 doesn't happen to everyone. Community college students: this is where you win one.
I personally came home a mere 2 pounds heavier than I was the day I left for college. But my weight did fluctuate throughout the year (luckily I did not bring a scale so I never really had to worry. I measured myself based on how my clothes looked on me).
It's not hard to not gain the freshman 15, just exercise as much as you drink: often. And if you do gain weight.. work those new boobs your university gave you. You don't have to be a stick figure to be beautiful and everyone around you will know that.
