aiiiiiiight fellas, this ones for you. whether you're a douchebag or the regional manager of weenie hut junior, I'm going to tell you a lil something'-somethin' about the ladies. here we go.
we know when a hook-up is just a hook-up. trying to define things in order to be a "nice guy" is way worse than just ignoring us. pursuing someone you aren't interested in is a dick move. i don't care if you're trying to be nice. it isn't nice. ignore us, it'll lessen the crazy.
if she texts you when she's drunk, she wants to fuck you. i don't care what girls say, unless they're your best friend, she's not going to text you asking what you're doing at 2 am on a saturday night. that betch is dtf.
what to do when she's dtf. okay you gotta be a little awkward in order for this section to matter. now what i'm going to tell you is not the gentleman's response. let's face it, you're all disgusting pigs and the knight in shining armor became extinct when dick pics started being a thing. here's the choose your own adventure portion of college boy advice. if you're interested, please go to option 1. if you're an idiot, go to option 2.
1. congrats! you found a lady friend! alright bud, good choice. the rest is easy from here on out. you invited her over, you went over to her place, whatever. and now's your time to make your move. her drunken mind was made up a long time ago that she was down for this. now it's your job to execute it. don't expect her to make the first move. but go for it, really.
2. no excuses, you're an idiot. but that's okay, you're all idiots anyways. stay classy my dude, but do NOT respond to her drunken texts. it will egg that crazy bitch on, wait until morning and if she's someone you don't want to be awkward around send a casual "ah passed out so early last night, what's up?" text. she'll either be mortified and never respond or bore you to tears thus you can stop responding. win-win, you're a gentleman.
if you're cheating... seriously, you're in college and cheating on your girlfriend?! you're so fucking stupid. no, seriously. break up with her. and if you're going to cheat, don't be dumb about it. no social media, no pictures together whatsoever, no snap chatting, and for the love of god, no tinder.
also, if you get this drunk, ever, you won't live it down. so control your alc.
thats all i got for ya boys