Everything I Touch is A Shitpost

skeles, art, and bad humor. Currently trying to drag myself out of mystic messenger hell rn call back later.

[robotlyra]

Don’t confuse my hatred of the hyperwealthy for jealousy over what they have. I don’t want a six figure sports car, or a 40 room mansion, or a gold leaf truffle wagyu steak dinner. I want redistribution of wealth that allows for infrastructural support of all citizens’ basic survival needs.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

while i completely agree with this statement, i feel like there’s this disconnect between the common man’s desire to experience what life has to offer and the hyperwealthy’s desire to exploit the masses in order to hoard resources to the active detriment of others.

i want to experience driving a fancy sports car down a big open road, the top down and the wind blowing in my hair. i don’t want a garage of 20 sports cars that i never touch.

i want a nice, comfortable, tastefully decorated house that’s big enough for me, my family, my pets, my hobbies, and any friends i might want to invite over. i don’t want a megmansion with more space than i could ever possibly use, that i only own because i want my house to be bigger than someone else’s house.

i want to experience eating the best steak dinner that the culinary world can offer. i don’t want to eat gold, which has literally no flavor, just because i can.

i want to travel to different cities around the world, see beautiful places, experience different cultures, and meet interesting people. i don’t want to buy up swathes of land and push natives out so i can build my twelfth house in hawaii or greece or somewhere else i’ll barely ever visit.

i want to dress in nice, well-made clothes that represent my style and make me feel good about myself. i don’t want to carry a thirty thousand dollar handbag or rolex watch just because it costs thirty thousand dollars.

i want to be able to give my friends gifts, i want to be able to invest in causes that i believe in, i want to be able to buy myself things like books, art, electronics, theater tickets, and nice food without having to worry about how much it costs. i don’t want to buy elections or shoot myself into space.

the average person’s concept of luxury is so far removed from the hyperwealthy’s everyday life that the distance cannot even be measured in ways that we can comprehend.

so while of course it’s more important that we work towards everyone’s basic needs being met rather than achieving luxury for ourselves, you, an ordinary person, shouldn’t feel guilty just for wanting to experience exciting and comfortable things. life should not be unyielding drudgery.

[sosuperawesome]

Thanh Nhàn on Instagram

[dimetrodone]

Imagine being Friend Bear and the embodiment of friendship in Care-a-Lot and some fuck named “Best” Friend Bear suddenly comes into town

[headspace-hotel]

i would turn into fucking Enemy Bear

[thecollectibles]

Art by Daniel Conway

[thecollectibles]

The Collectibles: Best of 2021

[honshew]

spring dance from our dnd spinoff thing that’s just a farming sim

[puckgoodfaggot]

i cannot emphasize enough how important medical literacy is for trans people. for everyone, really, but especially for trans people.

and i don’t mean that you need to go to med school or become an expert or anything. i mean basic trans medical literacy. i have seen so many posts from trans people (primarily other transmascs) listing things that “no one told them” about surgery or hormones and they make me want to rip my hair out because the things they list tell me that they did absolutely no research about the medical decision they made, nor did they listen to their medical provider about it.

you cannot be serious when you say “no one told you” that anesthesia would make you sleepy or that testosterone would increase your libido. those are things that the bare minimum googling would tell you.

if you don’t know what effects something will have on you, if you don’t know what the process will look like, you can’t make an informed decision. and you also can’t know when something is happening that shouldn’t be. many years ago, a post went around warning transmascs that, among other things, their injection site for t would be red, dramatically swollen, and very painful. that should not happen. if that person had done their research or even just asked someone after it happened the first time, they would know that.

when you pick up your hormones, you can ask the pharmacist your questions. when you get your prescription from your doctor, you can ask them questions. when you book your surgery, you can ask them questions. when you are in the hospital bed before surgery, you can ask questions. if your provider doesn’t know, you can find information online from reputable sources. if you know other trans people who have done what you’re doing, you can ask them.

i know that it can be intimidating to seek out medical information if you’re not used to it, but you NEED to be informed about your own body. ESPECIALLY if your doctor isn’t. everyone should know as much as they can about the healthcare they’re seeking, but trans people especially need to be informed because providers frequently aren’t. don’t just take random tumblr posts as gospel. go look for information off of this site, double check it with other sources, talk to older trans people in real life if you can. there are trans people everywhere, especially transfems, who have been successfully DIYing their hormones for ages, and they can help you.

and remember that this urging for you to be informed is not because hormones and surgery are scary or dangerous or bad. it’s because they are healthcare and all healthcare decisions should be made from the most informed position possible.

[hellenhighwater]

Tips on dagger training for cats please? My family cat, <9 months, has not mastered this. He keeps scratching the youngest kids in a sudden bout of play (I think he thinks they are fellow kittens).

All my research says "Play with him! Get him toys! Play with him until he is exhausted. A sleepy cat is a happy cat!" A) I have yet to exhaust that cat doing anything and B) still trying to figure out what toys drive him wild.

So since you have trained two cats to not deploy their daggers, I must ask. How did you do it?

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long ask and I love your art and humor.

Everyone, even the little kids, needs to disengage from play immediately when claws or teeth come out inappropriately. Pain noises are helpful, and then a refusal to interact with the cat for a few minutes. Do NOT continue to play with him when he's scratching, and DO NOT USE YOUR HANDS AS TOYS. Once they learn manners playing with hands can be okay, but until that point it just teaches bad habits. So belly rubs that induce kicking or grabbing are no go until his manners improve; do not play chase with your fingers, and so on. It's hard with kids, because you have to teach them the rules of training as much as you teach the cat. When my nephew Tiny Human was two, he was taught that he was not allowed to grab the cats--open hand touch to the back only--and could put his cheek against their fur, and no other touching until he was older. But he was allowed to play with toys with them as much has he wanted, and we spent lots of time taking about what the cats were "saying," and about how we had to listen to what they said. "Do you see Malice's tail going fast? She's saying she's had too much petting and we have to stop."

However, when it comes to training cats about claw manners, you have an equal obligation to respect what they're communicating to you--if you are overstimulating your cat by petting in the wrong way, or ignoring signs of discomfort, and they lash out--that's on you, not them. Learn to notice, and teach your kids to notice, warning signs your cat is giving you that they don't like what's happening, and respect them as much as is practicable.

It's a process, but it pays off!

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

All of this is really great advice.

I’d also suggest keeping in mind this rule: if there’s a behavior you don’t want an animal to do as an adult, it has to be completely off-limits from day one of bringing them home as a puppy/kitten.

A lot of people encourage behaviors they don’t really want because they’re cute when a baby does it - mouthing, jumping, swatting with claws - and then suddenly you don’t have a baby animal anymore and it isn’t fun. Sudden rule changes make no sense for an animal: if they’ve been allowed to do something their entire life and been reinforced for it, and suddenly they’re getting really negative feedback for the exact same thing, that’s frustrating and distressing.

So whenever you can, decide what your household “rules” are even before you bring an animal home, and then be as consistent as possible with your behavioral expectations from the start. Don’t use positive punishment: like Helen said, immediately disengage with them when the behavior you’re discouraging occurs - they basically learn that the consequences of doing x is that the thing they want (you, your attention) goes away in the moment. Combine that with heavily rewarding the behaviors you do like, and you’ll set up a pretty solid learning curve.

If you’re bringing home an adult animal, or working with one you already own, do the same: decide on really concrete boundaries and then be super consistent with both what you disengage from and what you reinforce.

[hellenhighwater]

Excellent points! It’s important to keep in mind that basically every thinking animal understands causality--if I do this, this happens. But the further you get between stimulus and response, the less likely they are to understand the link. Responses to both good and bad behavior should be as immediate and consistent as possible. It can be hard in households with many people and/or many pets, but if everyone is reacting the same way to bad behavior, your pet will figure out the rules much, much faster. 

[kedreeva]

Another thing to note is that some animals particularly birds and some unfixed mammals, can go through drastic personality changes at sexual maturity, and at the turning point, during the end of adolescence, I see a LOT of people unaware of the early signs of this encouraging behaviors that, again, they find cute or endearing when it's minimal/quieter or novel, but can turn very bad when the animal is older. If you're going to get an immature pet, you should try to look into/ask around communities about what behavioral changes are common at maturity and what early behaviors you should avoid encouraging.

[kristina100000]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[apas-95]

[coughloop]

Why do I feel vaguely threatened

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

[jettreno]

ducktales crew: lol okay so then we wanna introduce our silicon valley villain, we’re gonna call him mark zuckerbird and-

disney legal team waking up in a cold sweat: someone’s gonna try to insult a billionaire 

[falco-lombardis-guyliner]

Same energy

[onebadnoodle]

ok i have a murder mystery game idea. you play as a detective in the afterlife who is hired by dead people to find their murderers

[coolantbottle]

Absolutely in love with this concept

[omghotmemes]

Turns everyone into ((Bread))

[elitefourkylewantstobattle]

Megoosta

[bibbity-bobbity-booyouwhore-dea]

Get that SHIT off my screen!!!!!!

[fire-flakes]

the mai/azula/ty lee friendship is overall pretty toxic but we should not forget that they asked azula what she wanted for the drill and she said “triple throne for me and the homies”

[the-endless-storm]

“With enough seat for their bisexual asses to sit weirdly in”

[weaver-z]

I told the hibachi guy to "make me regret being born" when he asked how spicy I wanted my spicy chicken, and he just nodded solemnly. I'll see you all in Valhalla

[weaver-z]

I'm seeing dead prophets

[weaver-z]

[weaver-z]

[weenie-kun]

We sharing anaesthetic stories?? I had to have dental surgery when i was in middle school.

According to my mom and sister the very first thing i did upon waking up was BOLT upright and proceed to try and shove my ENTIRE fist in my mouth as fast as possible.

I had to be physically stopped, and i proceeded to sob my eyes out for the next 20 minutes. Somehow, i didnt damage anything 🤣

sorry that imagery is so vivid i just..

?????LOL

[houndpitspub]

I like fantasy for the escapism but by escapism I mean reading about people who's problems are worse and weirder than mine.