Confessions Of A Demisexual

A blog about being a demisexual ^_^ Please share your stories/confessions/coments/concerns with us related to demisexuality, the Ace Spectrum and really anything sexuality related! <3

[learningtolovewhoiam]

Due to my fibromyalgia, PCOS, and mental health issues, I am only able to work part-time. I am now in a financial strain because I no longer have a roomm...

I hate having to do this, but I need help. I’ve had two roommates flake on me and I have exhausted my resources. 

fundly.com/home-and-health-needs

[confessionsofademisexual]

It’s the old admin/creator of this blog here.  Kerri/AJ/KJ. Sorry to burden yall with this.

I really, really need help... even 10$ would help. I need to make it through to December. I start a new job next month, but without extra help or a new roommate I can’t do it. Any little bit helps <3 

[confessionsofademisexual]

Does kissing count as sexual attraction? Cause I've been thinking for awhile I might be demi, but like I don't mind kissing a lot of people and I get pretty attracted to them when it comes to kissing, but I just never met anyone I'd consider having sex with, usually even making out doesn't make me wanna take it any further. I don't really know, it's all very confusing in my head, I guess I'm trying to see where I can fit. Would love some advice, please!

Last time I made out with someone I didn’t feel a need to take it any further either! So it’s not just you. Kissing can also fall under romantic attraction, or fulfill a sensual need.

~Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

i just found out i am demisexual and am very proud of it!! i had no idea that the fact i couldnt connect to someone sexually if not having a connection deep enough was this and now i feel so happy about it, to be part of this large community! :D

[confessionsofademisexual]

I wanted to say thank you, because this blog helped me when I was just figuring out my orientation(s), and I'm so so grateful. 💜🖤💟

[confessionsofademisexual]

I just wanted to tell someone that I came out as a demisexual to my long term boyfriend finally and he was actually super engaging and asked me questions to understand more and it was really really cute and I'm so happy 💕💕

YAY! :)

[confessionsofademisexual]

being pan and demisexual at the same time is so funny because people assume you're attracted to everyone as a pansexual when most of the time you're attracted to no one or one person who you've emotionally bonded with. it's just funny. it's hard to explain to friends. but i guess id just call it having the capability of being attracted to multiple genders but only being attracted when you have a deep emotional bond with one person.

As someone who identifies as bi and demisexual, I can definitely relate to this! Any other pan/dem or bi/demis relate?

[confessionsofademisexual]

I believe I'm demiromantic. I think sooo. Either way I love the lgbt+ and support all of them. And hope I don't step on toes while growing up in Amurica

[confessionsofademisexual]

Is possible to be demisexual and straight?

Yes, of course!

[confessionsofademisexual]

I recently found the term demi and so I did some research because of how much I related. I am not sure how to concisely put it but I am cis, female, heteroromantic and demisexual and haven’t yet decided if I identify as “straight”. And naturally I figured that the best place to look for information, other validating experiences and positivity would be inclusive A-spec blogs. So many of them say inclusive and then post many things that say basically along the lines of “all demis are valid except cishet demis”. This made me annoyed, more than a little down and like I was faking something. I consider myself to be a confident person, so this is unusual. I wanted to let you know that whilst this was not the first actually inclusive blog I found, it was the most true to that name. You managed to make me feel so much better. Thank you so much.

[confessionsofademisexual]

I'm so tired of seeing all the hookup stuff for dating sites and apps I just wanna find love with cuddles and soft kisses why is everything about sex whyyyyyyyyy

[confessionsofademisexual]

Yesterday was my birthday I turned 21 .Suddenly i decided to post this on my instragram and i was very afraid what other people will think or say but when i woke up today i find that my friends are very very supportive. Im sooo happy right now!! I just wanna submit my story about this so that others who wanna come out can see that it might not be as scary as we think (i live in a country that not quite open for lgbt+ btw. We dont even celebrate pride month here😕) . But if you dont wanna come out its also absolutely fine! What i wanna say is just do whatever makes you happy :)

[confessionsofademisexual]

Is there a such thing as demiromantic? I'm starting to realize that what I thought was sexual attraction is actually romantic attraction but it's still only when I know a person really well!

Yep. I’m solidly demiromantic.

~Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

Are you opening mod applications?

I probably will be. I haven’t seen the other mod in a long time and it’s hard to run this blog solo.

~ Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

I started questioning my sexuality 6 years ago. I was a young girl, with a boy in my neighborhood. Something didn't feel right, ya know? I didn't like the normal couple stuff. Cuddles, kisses, the gushy talk, that junk. But then I met this one boy - after breaking up with the other, of course - and it felt right. No other person has made me feel this way. We've been together since then. People say this means I'm demi, but I don't want to include myself where I do not belong.

It sounds like you definitely could be.

~Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

Can I be both straight and Demi?

Yep.

~Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

last time i asked an ace/grey ace blog this question i was just flat out ignored. but i'm a heteroromantic demisexual. some people think heteroromantic demisexuals belong in lgbt+, and some disagree. i feel kind of lost and confused... what's your opinion?

The same as always -- that decision has to be made by you.

The problem is that there are some exclusionary assholes out there that don’t want you in the acronym. By benefit of being demi, you are not straight. However, because of the kickback, I recommend leaving it up to individuals. You need to determine if you want to identify as LGBT+ or not, because on some level you’re choosing whether you want to deal with the BS or not. And that’s not a decision I can make for you. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. <3

~Heidi

[confessionsofademisexual]

Can you explain why demisexual isn't just a personality trait. People try and tell me I'm Demi all the time after I explain how I am sexually/romantically- and I don't understand how it's not just the way a person is, again, personality wise. Not trying to be disrespectful but I can't understand how this falls under the category of a sexuality

A personality trait is this: “I only want to sleep with people who I know well/have some connection to.”

A sexuality is this: “I cannot fathom, no matter how hard I try, sleeping with anyone I do not already have a connection to.” 

It’s the same as any other sexuality, in that regards. You don’t know why you’re attracted to someone, you just are. Demis, insomuch as they might have another attraction (e.g. hetero, homo, bi, pan, etc), have the pool of people they are attracted to limited to people with whom they already experience a connection. So if you’re demibisexual, you experience attraction to more than one gender within the bounds of an emotional connection. 

I don’t know if that helps, I’m super tired and having problems explaining properly. But that’s how I think of it. 

~Heidi