contains: inexperienced!reader, making out to something more spicy (👀), jungkook is a fuckboy but is a big softie for reader!!
jungkook was notorious for being the biggest fuckboy on campus, showing up to house parties and crashing them with his big dick energy. he could get any girl he wanted - until he met you, that was.
jungkook knew he had to have you. your doe-like eyes that lit up every time your friend called your name, the way you politely declined other men that offered to refill your drink, the flush of soft pink that creeped up your cheeks when he brushed a hair behind your ear. Everything about you was mesmerising.
jungkook didn’t know you were inexperienced, you see. until he had you pinned against the bedroom door with his knee in between your thighs—until you let out a wary whimper—until you accidentally bit his lip a little too hard.
jungkook immediately lifted him self off of you, pushing himself backwards away from the door.
“you good?”
“..i-yeah! i’m okay…just that i have never done …this before”
“this? like makeout with someone?”
“like..everything”
now the whole room was spinning.
jungkook felt the familiar rush in his lower body, and licked his bottom lip to stop himself from towering over your figure again.
“…you want to stop? we don’t have to continue if you don’t want to”
this was a surprise to you. THE fuckboy jungkook cared about consent? you thought he was just like every other douchebag; just chatting to anything and anyone with a hole was a win.
“no! i mean..no, i…want to”
even in the dimly lit room, he could tell from the tone of your voice that your cheeks and ears were tinted pink.
jungkook took a slow step towards you, eyes searching your face to see any hint of uncertainty, or wariness.
“i’ll go slow”
your eyes met his with certainty, and jungkook’s heart skipped a beat when he spotted a faint glimpse of lust.
jungkook met your lips a lot more slower this time. he made sure to guide you; whether it was his tongue gently parting your lips before exploring your mouth or him placing his hand at the back of your head, tilting your head to make it a little easier for you to meet his lips while you were on your tippy toes.
jungkook felt himself slipping a few times—his knee finding that sweet spot between your thighs again—and would snap back to reality when you tugged on his plain white t-shirt. going slow was a good idea until he was kissing you.
jungkook felt you gain confidence as your makeout session went on. the more swollen both of your lips got, the more bold you got. your hand travelled up his bare abdomen underneath his t-shirt—even travelling down to fiddle a bit with his belt that was doing an awful job of restraining his hard-on.
“shit—now you wanna go fast?”
“oh!—sorry…should i not have done that?”
“no,”
jungkook states, his tone and demeanour darker than before,
“you have no idea how much i’m holding back. can you feel how bad i want this?”
his hand engulfs your hand, guiding it down to his hardened cock over his jeans and gives it a little squeeze.
jungkook’s other hand wanders up from your waist, to your breasts, to your neck, putting enough pressure to leave your head spinning—his veins popping out behind his tattooed sleeve.
“babygirl, i want to touch you so bad. i want you to touch me so fucking bad. but i’m trying to be a gentleman.”
your knees nearly give out on you. you gulp against his hand on your neck, and let out a whimper.
“…you can touch me. i want you to touch me…and i want to touch you too”
jungkook is done holding back now. he picks you up by your waist, and carries you to the bed, practically throwing you onto it.
he tosses his white t-shirt over his head and onto the floor, the band of his calvin klein underwear peeking out from his black jeans.
“no going back now, baby. let me make you feel so fucking good you’ll be crawling back to me.”
pairing. handyman!jungkook x reader
genre. smut
word count. 21.3k
warnings. jungkook is very charming and very sweet, oral sex, face riding, slight size kink, unprotected sex, lotsa messy kisses, multiple orgasms
summary. who would have thought booking a handyman from an app would lead to this. sure, you wish he’d mount you instead of just your television, but you could totally be friends. right?
note. this story was born from an ask game (a long time ago im so sorry) so thank you to the angel that gave me the fic title and all you cuties for helping me flesh out our handyman through asks hehe i hope you like the introduction to him™ because i’m sure there will be more of him soon hehe. also thank you to my angel bby loml @kithtaehyung for making the most beautiful banner ever ily!!<3
The sound of your power drill fills up the space of your apartment, the whirring coming to a quick stop only for the laughter of your friend to follow. There’s a brief moment where you forget she’s not in the room with you, actually watching you attempt to drill holes into your new apartment instead of in her home in a completely different state. The small ache in your chest is still felt when you remember this, not yet accustomed to being so far from home, but you push it away as you stare down at your device and see her face on the screen propped up a few inches away from you.
“I don’t think you know what you’re doing,” she laughs, and although you agree you simply wave her off with a smile.
“I hung up that tiny mirror the other day—oh, and that shelf!” You point to the side, staring at the shelf you had placed near the kitchen. Sure it was a little crooked, and you’re not exactly sure how much weight you could get away with placing on it, but it was only meant for cute decorations so really, you didn’t do a bad job.
during a trip with your friends in brazil, you decide to go out to a nightclub, but who would have thought you’d meet the hottest man out there?
pairing: musician!jungkook x law student!reader
genre: smut with plot, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, part 1???
warnings: explicit sexual content, rough & passionate sex, dom!jk, light choking, fingering, shower sex, female oral sex (eating out), squirting, standing/bench sex, riding, pull-out method (mention of condoms!!), size difference, jk has got a curved veiny dick, mentions of an ex-boyfriend, emotional confusion, eventual love confession.
summary: while staying in rio de janeiro, a girls' night out leads you straight into the hands of a hot stranger who wrecks you for the night. what started as a wild vacation hookup turns into something neither of you can walk away from when fate brings you back together in LA a year later.
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“i don’t know about this dress,” your friend sophie said, checking herself out in the mirror.
“i like it. it looks good on you, soph,” andrea replied as she fixed her makeup, sitting in front of the shiny mirror in the hotel room.
you were having the holiday of your life in brazil with your best friends, what else could you ask for? after your ex-boyfriend broke up with you months before this trip, it had messed with your head. you weren’t even sure if you could get out of your house, let alone travel outside the country. he had confessed that he wasn’t sure about the two of you and that he hated himself for it, that he didn’t want to break up, blah blah. truth is? he cheated on you. no wonder he was so unsure!
“y/n,” sophie said, snapping you out of your thoughts. “girl, you look stunning! why don’t you try on my necklace?”
she walked toward you as she sat on the edge of one of the matrimonial beds, handing you a beautiful golden necklace that shone against your sunkissed skin. brazil’s sun was no joke.
“oh wow,” you started, looking at yourself in the mirror where andrea was doing her makeup. “it’s really beautiful, soph. thank you!”
“oh, it’s nothing! come on, ready to take some photos?” she asked, turning up the volume on the speaker as loud music resonated through the large hotel room.
“yeeees!” andrea squealed, jumping out of her seat and pulling you all into a group hug, everyone bouncing with excitement to be there.
you took some photos and posted them to your instagram story, just like your friends did. once you were all ready, you spritzed on some perfume and headed outside where your uber was waiting.
the ride made you feel like you were in a movie, windows rolled down, your straightened hair a mess in the strong wind, but it was perfect. you could even smell the ocean from copacabana’s beautiful beach. it amazed you how many people were still out at 1:30 am. you had eaten dinner at the hotel lounge before leaving.
the driver was hilarious, trying to talk to the three of you in broken english, but thankfully you knew how to speak the language. he even let andrea connect her bluetooth to the car stereo and blast loud music. you were so thankful for your life and your friends in that moment, and for once, you could let go of the heavy thoughts.
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there was a long queue to get into the club, with people chatting everywhere, but luckily the line moved fast and in less than ten minutes you were inside. the place was huge, a three-story building. sophie had managed to get vip tickets so it wouldn't be too crowded. the weather was insanely hot, so paying a bit extra for your own booths to dance and enjoy freely was worth it.
you went up the stairs and settled down in the area one of the hosts guided you to: two black leather couches facing a low table with a bucket filled to the brim with ice and vodka in the center. you looked at each other, and as if the music held some sort of magic, you automatically started moving your bodies to the brazilian rhythm. you swore those instruments awoke something inside you. you were dancing like crazy while andrea and sophie danced alongside you with big smiles.
at some point in the night, you couldn't even tell where you were standing. you took your sweet time taking in your surroundings. every single guy was so hot. andrea was already gone, probably making out with a handsome local, while sophie danced next to you, holding your hips while you both sipped on caipirinhas. you kept looking around, feeling like an absolute goddess. plenty of men were already staring and smiling at you, and you smiled right back.
you decided to turn all the way around and that’s when you caught sight of a tall guy over your shoulder. his face was full of piercings, and he clearly wasn't a local, he looked foreign, probably asian, and ridiculously hot. before you even had time to think, he was already walking your way with a bottle of beer in hand. you smiled, and he smiled back.
“heeey,” he said, joining you and sophie, moving his shoulders to the rhythm as he took a sip from his bottle.
you gave a nervous smile, but the alcohol in your system was already working its magic. you took your last sip of the night, leaned your back against his chest, and rolled your hips to the music. he reacted instantly, wrapping one hand around your hip and leaning down into the crook of your neck.
one thing was clear: he was bold, and you loved it.
“i like the way you move,” he murmured softly in your ear with a velvety voice that made you feel like you’d go crazy. the way he smelled didn't help either.
you didn't say a word as you felt his lips press against the back of your neck while you kept moving. you loved the way a single kiss from him made you feel.
sophie quietly left the two of you alone under the guise of going to the restroom. you had tuned out your surroundings long ago, this man was driving you insane, or maybe it was just the alcohol.
turning around, you took the beer bottle from his hand and set it on the table. you ran your hands through his hair, leaned up on tiptoes, and pulled him into a kiss. his reaction was instant, he kissed you back, pulling your body flush against his in a way that drove you wild.
when you pulled apart to catch your breath, he asked, “wanna go somewhere else?”
you nodded. “yeah.”
the moment the word left your lips, he laced his fingers through yours, and you grabbed your small handbag to head out.
he led you to his car. if you were sober, you never would have gotten into a stranger’s car, especially knowing he had been drinking!
you could barely walk straight, smiling at nothing in particular, just letting things happen. he opened the passenger door of a black audi and buckled you in. you watched him walk around the front toward the driver's side. he was wearing a burgundy shirt with several buttons undone, he’d probably opened them inside the club to beat the heat.
he drove quickly, and the next thing you knew, you were in an elevator riding up to the 20th something floor of a massive hotel.
“do you live here?” you asked mid-kiss, completely lightheaded.
he chuckled and shook his head, pulling you into another deep, steamy kiss.
the elevator doors chimed open, and he guided you to his room. a massive floor-to-ceiling window overlooked the city lights below.
as soon as he shut the door behind you, he pinned you against the wall and kissed you deeply, his large hand gripping your ass under your dress. you smiled, and he grinned back.
“cm’ere,” he said, unbuckling his belt, unzipping his jeans, and sitting down on the edge of the bed.
you followed him over and straddled his lap, a leg on either side of him. your dress had hitched up, revealing your legs and the black lace underneath.
“fuck, do you feel that?” he asked. truthfully, you couldn't miss how hard he was beneath you, and it was turning you on fast.
“mhm,” you hummed, kissing his neck as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. in one smooth motion, he discarded it, showing off a toned torso covered in tattoos and abs.
“fuck,” you breathed out.
he grinned. “like what you see?” he laughed and lifted you effortlessly to your feet. he found the side zipper of your black dress and slowly slid it down, helping you step out of it. he took you in like a piece of art, biting his lip. stripping off the rest of his clothing, he pulled you back onto the bed with him lying on his back, leaving you on top with your chest exposed to him. “you’re so hot,” he murmured, making your mind spin.
you smiled and decided to take charge, kissing him hungrily while your hands explored his body. you could feel his hard length twitching between your folds. you grinded down against him, back and forth, your natural slickness making every slide hot and effortless.
“yeah, come on, grind on me,” he encouraged, guiding your hips with his hands.
he leaned his head back with his mouth slightly open and eyes closed, taking in every single movement. then, grabbing hold of you, he flipped you beneath him, pinning you to the mattress. he trailed kisses down from your neck to your torso, licking your nipples until you squirmed beneath him. sliding lower down your stomach, he finally reached where you were aching for him most.
you bent your knees, and he settled between your thighs. he took hold of your legs, giving you a wicked glance with his dark eyes before leaning in to suck on your clit.
“oh, fuck yeah,” you gasped, gripping his hair to guide his movement.
“you like that?” he asked, sliding his tongue inside you with long, deliberate strokes.
“y-yes, so much,” you managed to choke out.
he shifted his weight onto one arm, using his free hand to stroke your body before sliding his fingers down to join his tongue, circling your clit. how was he this good at it? it was driving you completely wild.
“fuck yes,” you whimpered, lost in the sensation.
opening your eyes briefly, you saw him smirking down at you. he worked his fingers so well that your whole body was writhing on the bed beneath him, his strength and presence were driving you crazy. he circled his fingers faster, making you shiver and cry out.
“so beautiful,” he breathed out.
when you opened your eyes again, you saw him reaching toward the nightstand for a condom. you rolled onto all fours for him, just how you liked it. hard and fast from behind.
“damn baby, already on all fours?” he chuckled, giving your rear a firm slap.
he took you right there, pounding into you until the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room, driving you out of your mind. he pulled your wrists behind your back, forcing your head down sideways onto the pillow, leaving you completely open to him.
“f-faster... hmmm,” you moaned loudly, certain the rest of the hotel guests were going to complain.
jungkook didn't hesitate. he tightened his grip on your wrists behind your back, driving into you with a relentless, punishing rhythm that made your knees tremble against the mattress. every thrust sent shockwaves through your entire body, the friction and heat mounting until you were completely breathless, clinging to the edge of the bed as the intense coil in your core finally snapped.
you let out a broken, breathless cry as your orgasm crashed over you, your inner muscles clamping down tight around him. hearing you break, jungkook growled low in his throat, his hips accelerating into a few final, deep, desperate thrusts before he came undone into the condom, buried deep inside you.
he held you tight for a moment, both of your bodies slick with sweat as your breathing slowed. pulling out, he sat on the edge of the bed to get rid of the condom before lying back down next to you and rolling onto his stomach. keeping a comfortable distance between you, you both drifted off to sleep.
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morning light was already streaming through the massive floor-to-ceiling windows when your eyes fluttered open. for a second, you were completely disoriented, the gentle hum of the air conditioner and the bright brazilian skyline reminding you that you weren't in your hotel room.
a quiet shift next to you brought it all rushing back.
you turned your head slowly to find him sleeping on his stomach. both of his arms were stretched up on either side of his head, his face buried deep into the plush pillow. the soft morning glare hit his back, highlighting the sharp dip of his spine, the defined muscle tone across his shoulders, and the dark ink of his tattoos sprawling over his skin. he looked impossibly relaxed, completely different from the intense, confident guy who had pinned you to the bed hours earlier.
careful not to make a sound, you slid your legs out from under the sheets. you wince smiled at the faint, dull ache between your thighs, a pleasant reminder of last night, and tip toed across the cool floor toward the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind you.
after using the toilet, you turned on the faucet, letting the cool water wash away the lingering fog of sleep and makeup. you splashed your face, grabbed a hand towel, and began patting your skin dry.
when you looked up into the bathroom mirror, you caught his reflection standing in the doorway.
he was leaning against the frame, sleepy eyed, dark hair delightfully messy, his gray sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips.
“morning,” his voice came out deep and raspy with sleep, a small smirk playing on his lips as his dark eyes met yours in the glass.
you turned around, resting the back of your hands against the edge of the sink. “morning. sorry! did i wake you?”
“nah, but i noticed the bed was empty,” he chuckled softly, taking a slow, barefoot step into the bathroom.
you smiled, heat creeping up your neck as memories of the night before flooded back. watching him step closer, you realized something ridiculous. through all the loud music, caipirinhas, and wild heat in the club, one tiny detail had been completely skipped.
“you know...” you started, leaning back against the marble counter, “we never actually introduced ourselves. what’s your name, by the way?”
he paused, an amused glint flickering in his eyes as he closed the remaining distance between you.
“jungkook,” he said softly. he reached out, his hands naturally finding your waist, his thumbs rubbing small, warm circles against your skin. “and you?”
“y/n,” you replied, feeling an immediate spark reignite the moment his skin touched yours.
“y/n,” jungkook repeated, letting your name roll off his tongue with a low, slow cadence that made your chest tighten.
he glanced over your shoulder toward the large glass shower enclosure, then looked back down at you.
“well, y/n... i was just about to turn the shower on,” his grip on your waist tightened, pulling you an inch closer until your stomach brushed against his. “care to join me?” he said, smirking as he stepped away from you, showing off his toned, tattooed back as he turned on the shower. “i don't bite, baby,” he added, catching you running a hand over your neck as you debated his tempting offer.
fuck it, you thought. for once in your life, you were feeling free, feeling good about yourself. you felt wanted again. none of this was something you could have lived with your ex, he was trash those last few months, making you feel like you were nothing, when you were so much more. this trip was part of your journey toward loving yourself again.
you walked over to him, sliding both hands up to caress that beautiful back you were already obsessed with. leaning in, you gently rested your forehead against the warm skin between his shoulder blades. the contrast was crazy, here you were, completely bare and raw, clinging to a man whose last name you didn't even know, yet finding this weird sense of safety in his warmth. he went completely still under your touch, the steady stream of the shower filling the quiet space between you for a few seconds before he slowly turned around to face you.
“all good?” he asked softly, a bit of genuine concern in his eyes. he clearly hadn't expected something so quiet and intimate from a late-night hookup.
“yeah, yeah, it’s just...” you started, trailing off as your eyes dropped to the floor.
he reached out, his thumb gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “i think you’ve got some heavy stuff going through your head right now, am i right?”
the way he said it hit you right in the chest. he was reading you like an open book, seeing right through the brave face you’d been putting on all night. how could a complete stranger be this perceptive? it felt surreal how easily he seemed to get you without you having to explain a thing.
“i can make those thoughts go away,” he murmured, tilting your chin up until your eyes met his, searching your face for a reaction, a smile, anything.
you looked up, taking him in up close for the first time. his sleepy, hungover face was out of this world, his lips slightly parted, showing a glimpse of his teeth in a tender smile. you noticed the small moles on his skin and even his long eyelashes. you felt the warm tips of his fingers finding the hem of the oversized t-shirt he must have thrown on you last night.
you closed your eyes and slowly lifted your arms as he gently pulled the shirt over your head, the fabric smelling like him. your bare skin met the cool air of the bathroom until he closed the distance between you. you opened your eyes to find him staring down at you with an intensity that made your pulse race.
“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, placing a hand behind your lower back to pull you flush against him.
he was being so gentle, so gentle it almost brought tears to your eyes. the way his lips traced your neck, your collarbones, and the shell of your ear made you fall for this feeling of being cared for, of being wanted. he brought his lips back to yours for a slow, unhurried kiss. there was no rush, just two strangers taking their time to feel everything.
taking a step back, he took off his grey sweatpants, revealing he had nothing on underneath. as he stepped into the shower, he held out a hand. you took it without hesitation, stepping into the warm stream as the room around you blurred, the heavy glass mirror fogging over completely.
he trapped you between his arms, your back pressed against the cool blue tiles as he kissed you again and again, the heat of the water mixing with the heat of your bodies. he slowly squatted down, trailing wet, hot kisses down your ribs and over your stomach, his lips brushing right against where you needed him most. all the thoughts in your head melted away, replaced by a desperate need. you wanted to fuck. you wanted him to fuck you.
“eat me out,” you demanded, your hands tangling in his wet hair as his grip on your ass tightened.
without wasting a single second, he parted your thighs, taking your clit into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. your body quivered against the tile. he slid two fingers inside you under the warm water, working you so sweet and deep that your knees buckled.
he stood back up, his chest heaving against yours as water slicked over his tattooed shoulders.
“turn around,” he rasped, his dark eyes fixed on yours. “let me fuck you real good.”
you obeyed, turning to rest your hands against the wide tiled ledge inside the shower, the built-in bench coming in ridiculously handy. bending your knees, you arched your back and lifted your hips for him, completely surrendered.
“ah fuck, let me grab a condom,” he muttered, his hand slipping from your hip as he prepared to step out, but you caught his forearm.
“don’t,” you said softly, a sudden flush of bashfulness hitting you because the only reason you were still on the pill was your ex. “i’m on the pill...”
he paused, his dark eyes locking onto yours through the steam. “you sure?”
you nodded.
he stepped back into the hot stream, positioning himself right behind you. you loved being taken from behind, feeling the raw strength of a man, of this man, working you so damn well. both of his hands gripped your hips as he aligned the head of his throbbing cock with your entrance. he slid all the way in with zero resistance, a dark smirk spreading across his face at how easily you took him.
“fuck, y/n, you’re so wet,” he groaned, pulling back slowly before driving back in. “hmm, yeah, so tight...” he spoke those magic words that hit your brain like a drug.
“hmm, god, i love it,” you gasped, taking the lead to roll your hips back against him, fucking yourself on his cock.
the wet slap of skin against skin camouflaged under the sound of the shower was driving you wild. you just wanted to soak in every single second, it was exactly what you needed. it was so dirty, so intoxicating that you swore you could feel yourself falling. and you were, your legs were literally giving up. sensing your knees weaken, he lifted you slightly, shifting you back onto that tiled bench. he gripped your shoulders, pounding you from behind.
“ah yeah,” he muffled, his hot breath hitting your neck as his chest pressed flush against your back. “you’re taking me so good, baby. go on,” he whispered, his hand reaching up to gather your wet hair into a messy makeshift ponytail. the pull tilted your head back, leaving your neck completely exposed as your soft whimpers echoed through the bathroom.
“hmm, harder,” you urged, and jungkook lost it. his movements became frantic, almost impossibly fast. his free hand found the front of your neck, resting there with just enough pressure to send a shockwave down your spine. “i’m close, i’m close, i’m—”
before you could finish, a wave hit you that you’d never felt in your entire life. your body buckled as you squirted, your inner muscles clamping around him in violent waves.
jungkook helped you sink fully onto the bench, letting you catch your breath as he gave himself a few quick, desperate strokes, coming with a low growl. he wiped the steam from his eyes and looked down at you, a genuine smile breaking across his face.
“that was... fucking hot y/n,” he breathed out, still trying to catch his own breath.
you felt dizzy sitting there. everything was spinning in the best way possible, that sensation was entirely new to you, so intense it barely felt real. you looked up at him and smiled, completely speechless.
“come here, let’s shower,” he said softly, washing his hands before popping open a bottle of shampoo.
you smiled, standing on shaky legs to join him under the water.
the whole thing felt crazy intimate. this was a total stranger you’d picked up at a club in a foreign country, yet here you were, sharing this quiet morning. you ended up laughing together when a bit of shampoo got into your eye, making you panic to rinse it out. jungkook laughed along, patiently helping you wash off under the stream, rubbing soap over your back and leaving a few tender kisses on your wet shoulders.
afterward, he managed to prepare you a quick breakfast. he’d picked up some fresh oranges during his stay in brazil, along with a loaf of bread from a local market. as you finished slipping into the oversized clothes he’d lent you again, you hopped up to sit on the kitchen counter and unlocked your phone for the first time since last night.
3:00 PM.
you had literally slept the entire day away. fucked in the shower, and now you were having breakfast, at 3:00 PM.
the second you dragged down your notification bar, your heart did a flip.
“oh no,” you gasped out loud.
jungkook turned around from the stove, a plate of warm toast with jam in his hands, looking at you with pure curiosity. “what?”
“15 missed calls...” you said nervously, rubbing your forehead as you quickly pulled up the group chat and typed out:
i'm alive!!!
i'm actually at a hotel
with a guy
jungkook grinned, hopping up to sit on the counter right next to you and taking a big sip from his glass of orange juice.
“i think you should probably call them, no?” he teased, his dark eyes sparkling.
“yeah, i definitely sho-,” you muttered.
the phone didn't even ring twice before the screen glitched and two panicked faces popped up at the exact same time.
“Y/N! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” sophie practically screamed into her microphone, her hair a wild mess as she held her phone way too close to her face.
“GIRL, WE WERE ABOUT TO CALL THE POLICE!” andrea chimed in right behind her, shoving sophie out of the frame so she could stare into the camera. “we came back to the table last night and you were completely gone! we thought you got kidnapped!”
you winced, pulling the phone an inch away from your face while jungkook muffled a laugh into his glass of juice, enjoying every single second.
“i'm fine! i'm so sorry, guys, i swear i'm okay,” you said quickly, trying to keep your voice down. “i... uh... left… with someone.”
dead silence hit the call. sophie and andrea exchanged a look on their side of the screen before both of them yelled in unison.
“AHHH, YOU LEFT WITH SOMEONE?!” sophie shrieked. “the asian guy with the piercings? the absurdly hot one?!”
“uhm, yeah,” you stammered, feeling heat rush all the way up to your ears. “we went back to his hotel.”
andrea’s jaw literally dropped. “wait... it’s 3:00 PM. y/n... did you just wake up?! did you spend the whole night and the whole day with him?!”
out of the corner of your eye, you saw jungkook leaning over, curiously trying to take a sneak peek at your screen. the second you noticed him hovering, you completely blocked him, pulling the phone flush against your chest and glaring at him. he just let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head with a playful smirk on his face.
“andrea, shh! oh my god,” you hissed into the microphone, trying to regain control of the conversation.
“is he there right now? IS HE LISTENING?!” sophie whispered loudly into her mic, her eyes wide as she tried to inspect your background “HEEELLOOOO?!?!”
seeing his chance, jungkook suddenly leaned in close behind your shoulder, sneaking just half of his sleepy, messy haired face into the top corner of the frame.
“heeeey gir—”
you didn't even let him finish the sentence. instantly panicking, your thumb smashed the red button, cutting the audio off mid-word before he could even get the greeting out.
you dropped your phone onto the counter and buried your face in your hands, groaning out loud. jungkook burst into a full, hearty laugh, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull your flustered body against his side.
“you didn't even let me say hi,” he teased laughing while you sat there dying of embarrassment.
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that summer in brazil became a blurry, beautiful paradise. what started as a wild one-night stand melted into the best week of your entire life. you, sophie, and andrea ended up merging groups with jungkook and his friends who were also staying in rio.
you can still vividly picture that last sunset in copacabana. the sky was painted in deep pinks and gold as sophie splashed around in the warm ocean, screaming for everyone to get in. you remember jungkook grabbing your wrist with a toothy grin, his long fingers interlaced with yours as he dragged you laughing down the shoreline, both of you crashing into the waves. under the water, with the sun dipping below the horizon and nobody watching, he had pulled you flush against his chest to steal a few ocean-tasted kisses that made your heart ache before it was time to say goodbye.
one year later.
los angeles.
a lot had changed since rio. you were back in LA, grinding through your final year of law school, constantly buried under legal briefs and cases. jungkook had moved to the city too, pursuing his music career, his days spent in dark recording studios, his nights spent running around town.
and somehow, through the chaos, you two had stayed in each other's orbits.
you had his number saved in your phone, and what started as occasional text check-ins turned into routine hangouts. dinner, late night food runs, and eventual hookups. you weren't officially together, no labels, no promises… just two people who couldn't seem to untangle themselves from one another.
it was 11:00 pm on a friday night. the empty pizza box sat closed on the kitchen counter, and both of you had already washed up for bed. your 5th-floor apartment felt like a cozy sanctuary, high above the LA traffic. low, sultry rnb melted into smooth jazz from the bluetooth speaker on the shelf, filling the room with a warm, steady rhythm. mood lamps decored the living space in a soft gradient of warm purple and golden orange light, casting shadows against the walls.
jungkook was sitting back on your couch in his grey sweatpants and an oversized tee, his long legs spread casually as he waited for you.
“you’re staring,” you murmured, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom with a hairbrush still held loosely in your hand. you were dressed for sleep in a matching baby pink velvet set, a soft cropped tank top and tiny velvet shorts that hugged your hips.
jungkook let out a low, raspy chuckle, running a hand through his dark hair as his eyes slowly dragged over your outfit. “can’t help it. you look ridiculously good in pink.”
setting your brush down, you walked across the warm floorboards, stepping right between his open knees to straddle his lap. jungkook’s large, warm hands immediately slid under the hem of your velvet shorts, resting flush against your bare thighs to pull you close.
“hmm...” you breathed, resting your hands against his chest.
“i missed you,” he whispered, leaning up so his lips brushed the shell of your ear over the gentle saxophone playing in the background. “spent all day in the studio thinking about you,”
the restraint snapped right there. you reached down, tangling your fingers in his hair, and pulled him into a heavy, bruising kiss. he groaned into your mouth, his tongue sliding past yours as his hands tightened on your waist. the kiss was raw, hungry, and entirely unhurried, perfectly timed to the slow music filling the room.
he slid your pink tank top over your head, tossing it onto the coffee table, before his mouth trailed down your jawline to your bare chest. he cupped your breast, taking one sensitive nipple into his mouth to suck on it gently, sending an electric shock straight down to your core. you gasped, arching your back into his mouth as his thumb hooked into your velvet shorts, pulling them off with practiced speed.
he pulled back just enough to look up at you, his dark eyes blown wide with desire as he shoved his sweatpants down his hips.
“ride me, baby,” he rasped, his voice heavy with command.
you didn't need to be told twice. gripping his broad shoulders for balance, you lifted yourself up, aligning your wet core over his hard length, and slowly sank all the way down onto him in one full, breathtaking movement.
“ah—fuck, jungkook—” the air completely left your lungs in a loud, shattered moan.
riding him was your absolute weakness, the absolute control, the deep friction, and the view of jungkook looking up at you with pleading eyes, through the purple and orange glow of the room drove you insane. you set a torturous pace, rolling your hips and grinding down against him before lifting yourself up to take him all the way in again.
“fuck, y/n,” he grunted, his tattoos flexing as his hands gripped your hips tightly, helping you set the rhythm. “you feel so fucking good... god, look at you...”
“mnh, harder, kook, d-deeper…” you whimpered, your head tilting back as you picked up the pace, the soft cushions of the couch taking every heavy impact as the music swirled around you.
he lifted his hips to meet yours, thrusting up into you with ruthless precision. “like that, baby? hmm? tell me how bad you need it.”
“yes fuck, right there,” you sobbed out, your voice echoing off the walls as your inner walls began to clamp desperately around him.
the sensation was completely overpowering. you threw your head back, riding him frantically until the intense pressure shattered into a full body orgasm. you cried out his name, your thighs trembling violently as the waves tore through you.
hearing you break was his absolute limit. with a guttural growl, jungkook gripped your waist, pulled himself out of you at the absolute last second, and came undone right across your stomach and thighs, his entire body shuddering beneath you as he held you tight against him.
for a long time, neither of you moved. you collapsed forward, resting your forehead against his chest as your breathing slowly synchronized with the low jazz fading out on the speaker. jungkook wrapped his arms tightly around you, rubbing slow, soothing circles into your back, his chin resting gently on top of your head.
as you lay there in the warm, ambient light of your apartment, the entire year flashed through your mind. you thought back to that chaotic, spontaneous night in Rio, how broken and lost you’d felt after your ex, and how this incredible man had casually walked into your life and helped you heal without even trying. from the Copacabana beaches to quiet Friday nights on your couch in LA, he’d made you feel so safe, so desired, and so deeply loved every single step of the way.
you were so overwhelmed with emotion that the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them.
“i love you,” you whispered softly against his skin.
the room went completely still for a split second. you froze, your heart hammering against your ribs as you realized what you’d just confessed out loud.
but jungkook didn't pull away. instead, a soft, breathless laugh escaped him. he tightened his hold around your waist and tilted your chin up with his thumb, forcing you to look at him. his dark eyes were shining with so much warmth it almost brought tears to your eyes.
“i love you even more,” he murmured softly, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your lips.
he pulled back just enough to look at you, a timid, slightly nervous smile softening his face.
“i know this might sound like a stupid question, considering...” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely between the two of you with a quiet chuckle, before his gaze locked back onto yours. “...but do you wanna make it official? i want to call you my girlfriend everywhere i go.”
you couldn't help the huge grin that spread across your face. leaning down, you kissed him again, sweet, slow, and full of absolute certainty.
“yes,” you whispered against his lips. “i’d love that.”
⊹⋰𓇼⋆⸝·⸝⋆꙳⊹⋰ ⊹⋰𓇼⋆⸝·⸝⋆꙳⊹⋰
HEY YALL, i had so much fun writing this, i just had to give them a plot, i’d love to write a pt2
from a wild hookup in rio to falling in love in LA, you and jungkook are finally official. but as graduation night arrives, can your love survive a ghost from your past?
pairing: musician!jungkook x law student!reader
genre: smut with plot, friends to lovers, protective!jk, angst to fluff, happy ending (HEA)
warnings: 18+ explicit sexual content, passionate & soft smut, oral sex (f receiving), oil massage, candles, desk sex, protective!jk, confrontation with a toxic ex-boyfriend, brief mention of past emotional distress/ex, overstimulation, happy ending, timeskip.
summary: graduation night in LA was supposed to be a celebration, but an unwanted run-in with your ex turns ugly. luckily, jungkook is right there to put him in his place, leaving the city behind to build a sun soaked life with you in miami.
part 1: here
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the low, velvet hum of the studio was one of the few places where LA felt completely quiet.
you sat tucked into the corner of the plush forest green sofa, a thick law textbook resting forgotten on your lap. through the booth glass, the dim ambient lighting bathed jungkook in a soft glow. he wore his headphones hooked around his neck, looking completely in his element as his voice carried through the monitors, warm, raspy, and full of raw emotion.
when he finished the last note, he stepped out of the booth, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. he walked over and melted onto the sofa beside you. you quietly leaned over, laying your head down against his broad shoulder. your fingers picked nervously at the hem of your loose black skirt, smoothing the fabric over and over again.
jungkook noticed it instantly. the quiet tension radiating off your body didn't escape him for a second.
without saying a word, he slid off the couch and dropped to his knees right in front of you. he placed his large, warm hands gently over your knees, bringing himself down to your exact eye level. his palms caressed the soft skin of your thighs, not in a needy or hot way, but with pure, grounding reassurance.
“baby, what’s going on? speak to me,” jungkook said softly.
as his tender eyes held yours, the dam broke, and a few tears slowly ran down your cheek.
“it's just... i’ve been so fucking stressed lately,” you said, voice trembling as jungkook looked at you and nodded understandingly. “i feel like everything i do, i do it in an automatic way. like i’m not even living my life, just surviving it. and then... then i think of you. i think about us, about how much you love me and how damn happy it makes me feel. but then my mind punishes me for some reason...” you stopped, taking a deep breath “…it takes me back to how it all ended up with gale, and...”
“hey, hey, hey,” jungkook murmured gently, cutting off the spiral.
he shifted, sitting back up on the sofa next to you, and pulled you straight into a tight hug that made you feel completely protected from the world. he stroked your hair in slow, soothing motions for a long while, letting you catch your breath against his chest before he spoke.
“listen to me,” his deep voice vibrated against your ear “what happened back then? that wasn't your fault. you spent four years giving your heart to someone who didn't know how to treasure it.” he paused, rubbing a gentle circle into your back “so of course your brain gets scared when something good happens. but you don't have to carry that ghost anymore, baby.”
he pulled back just enough to frame your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs.
“i’ve never played about you since the moment i met you in brazil,” he murmured, staring into your eyes with absolute conviction “you’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you have such a good, gentle soul. you fought like hell for your dreams, and you should be proud of that.” a soft, reassuring smile touched his lips “and tomorrow you’re going to nail that exam. i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere.”
the heavy knot in your chest completely dissolved, replaced by a deep wave of peace. you buried your face into his neck, soaking in his warmth.
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friday, 4:00 pm.
the 5th-floor apartment was wrapped in a gorgeous late afternoon glow. soft jazz played from the speaker, mixing with the cool breeze that came through the open windows.
you were running back and forth around your apartment, pausing in front of the bathroom mirror to finish your makeup for the big day. you had chosen a short, delicate skirt paired with a thin laced matching top, an effortlessly chic outfit that you’d layer under your dark blue graduation gown later.
jungkook was already fully dressed, looking effortlessly handsome in a tailored burgundy suit. but instead of letting you prepare in peace, he followed you around like a puppy.
the moment you stepped back into the bathroom, a warm smile spread across his face. he slid right up behind you, breathing in the soft vanilla scent of your perfume. meeting your eyes in the mirror, he smirked, making you smile back as you asked, “hmm... what?”
“nothiiiiing,” he murmured teasingly, a playful grin tugging at his lips as he slid one of his long, sturdy legs right between yours. his thigh pressed firm against your core, sending an instant jolt straight down your spine.
“hmm kook,” you gasped eyes closed, your breath hitching.
ignoring your protest, his hands slid up under the loose fabric of your shirt, his warm fingers tracing the elastic hem of your bra. he leaned down, pressing his lips to the warm skin of your neck, opening a few buttons of his own suit shirt as he felt you squirm helplessly against his thigh. the raw contrast of his rough hands and his formal suit was doing dangerous things to your stomach.
“baby...” you whispered, turning around, your fingers tangling into his styled hair, trying to anchor yourself. “not now,”
“hmm, just a little bit, please?” he purred against your pulse point, his thumb lightly grazing your nipple to lure you in.
you bit your lip, feeling the heat rising between your legs. but with a small, playful smirk, you reached down, wrapping your fingers around his cock right over the fabric of his suit pants. you gave it a solid, deliberate press, making him let out a low, ragged groan.
before he could react, you pulled away, giving his cheek a sweet kiss.
“not now, pretty boy,” you teased, stepping out of his reach. “we gotta go, we’re running late.”
jungkook stood there flushed, catching his breath as he caught his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, a playful smirk spreading across his face.
9:00 pm.
the graduation ceremony was a blur of bright lights and overwhelming pride. when your name was called, the middle section of the grand auditorium exploded. andrea and sophie were screaming at the top of their lungs, your parents were wiping tears, and right beside them, jungkook’s parents were clapping proudly.
jungkook stood up, his eyes locked on you as you accepted your law diploma. he mouthed three silent words across the crowd that made your heart soar: i love you.
and as the heavy weight of responsibilities finally disappeared after years and years of studying, you smiled proudly, posing for a few photos with the university director and your favorite professors.
i’m done... i’m finally a lawyer! you thought to yourself, making your way back to your seat.
11:30 pm.
the after party was hosted at an upscale, low-lit lounge downtown, velvet booths, dim amber lamps, and smooth music.
after a few hours of chit chatting with your friends, jungkook, and some university buddies, you decided to head to the bar to grab some drinks. this wasn’t a wild nightclub like the one back in rio, instead, it was an exclusive, low lit lounge, the kind of place made strictly for cocktails and intimate conversations.
“four beers, please,” you ordered, taking a seat on the tall stool as the bartender moved smoothly behind the counter. but as you sat quietly waiting, a heavy shadow fell over you, smelling thick of liquor, leaning uncomfortably close.
“y/n...”
you froze. gale, your ex boyfriend was sitting right next to you.
“gale?” you said, your voice turning ice cold “what the hell are you doing here?”
“i tried asking sophie where you guys were going c-cuz i knew you were graduating tonight,” he stammered, leaning closer as his hand reached for yours. you snatched your hand back instantly. “she told me to fuck off, but... knowing you and knowing her, i figured you’d come here,” he stopped, reaching out to touch you once more “i had to see you.”
“get away from me, gale. i’m not joking.”
“come ooon, y/n,” he slurred, his gaze heavy as it drifted over your whole body “ugh, you look so fucking hot tonight,” he mumbled, trying and failing to whisper. you heard every single word “can we just talk?”
“there’s nothing to talk about, gale. get the fuck away from me,” you snapped, a sudden wave of courage backing your words.
“tell me that you’re not taken... tell me that i still have a chance,” he begged, his voice cracking with desperation.
“i am taken, and i have fucking zero desire to talk to you,” you snapped, your tone biting “leave me alone.”
listening to your rude tone, gale’s face twisted with drunken frustration. instead of backing off, his hand shot out, grabbing your wrist tightly. “don't talk to me like that...”
before you could even pull away, he lunged forward, desperately crashing his lips onto yours.
bam.
you brought your free hand around in a sharp, blinding motion, slapping him hard across the cheek. gale stumbled back from the tall stool, clutching his face in shock.
before he could even process the sting and stumble back toward you, clearly intending to hit you or do something even worse, a heavy shadow swept over the bar.
jungkook, who had been watching from the booth across the room, charged in like a storm. he slammed himself between the two of you, shoving a palm hard against gale’s chest and pinning him back against the counter.
“you got a problem?” gale sneered, trying to tower over him with a heavy frown but failing miserably
“yeah, you’re my fucking problem, asshole,” jungkook growled, his voice filled with rage as he grabbed gale by the collar of his shirt.
gale scoffed, looking down at jungkook before eyeing the crisp collar of his suit “oh, look at this guy. you really wanna fucking fight, son of a bitch?”
“hey! out! now!” the bartender yelled, slamming a glass on the counter and pointing a sharp finger at gale “you’re harassing guests! get the hell out before i call security”
gale glared at jungkook, then at you, before muttering a bitter curse and stumbling out into the night.
jungkook turned around instantly, his dark eyes searching your face, his hands cupping your cheeks gently. “you okay, baby?”
you leaned into his touch, feeling the residual adrenaline melt away. “i’m okay, i’m okay yeah,”
and that was the last time you ever saw gale.
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four years later.
miami, florida.
moving to miami had been the best decision the two of you had ever made. you were now a thriving lawyer, while jungkook had built his own dream studio right by the beach. he’d even cast you as the lead in his latest music video, for a song written entirely about you!
it was a warm friday night inside your sun-drenched apartment. you had created a workspace in the corner of the living room, which included a wide wooden desk surrounded by walls covered in your diplomas and shelves filled with music artifacts and a few of jungkook’s albums. that very same wooden desk was currently piled high with court files for a massive case you had to argue in court on monday.
you were stressed out of your mind, rubbing your temples as you stared blankly at the endless pages, leaning back tiredly against your white chair.
that’s when you felt two warm hands settled gently onto your shoulders.
jungkook leaned down, his hands moving lower, his thumbs vaguely tracing the sides of your breasts over your thin silk robe, searching for your reaction. you gasped softly, your head falling back against his chest as you instantly surrendered to his touch.
“is my baby so so so stressed?” jungkook asked softly. he’d been paying attention to you, noticing every heavy breath, every muttered swear, and every frustrated sigh.
“mhm,” you hummed, pouting as your eyes slowly closed.
“why don’t you take a break? let me take care of you,” he whispered against your ear.
before you could object, he gathered you into his arms and carried you straight into your bedroom.
the balcony doors were wide open, letting the cool ocean breeze drift through the curtains.
what made you soft chuckle, though, was the glow waiting inside. jungkook had lit candles all around the room, casting a warm light right over your big bed. the sweet scent of incense drifted through the air as well.
he’d clearly planned all of this just minutes ago.
“what’s up with you, kook? candles?” you smiled, resting on your elbows as you watched his broad, bare back muscles flex while he adjusted the flame on the last candle.
“what? can’t i take care of my sweet girl?” he teased, turning around with a playful smirk.
he walked over to the nightstand, grabbing a bottle of coconut oil. he climbed onto the bed, hovering over you. he slowly untied the belt of your pink silk robe, parting the fabric inch by inch, admiring your naked body.
he poured a small pool of coconut oil onto his palms, rubbing his hands together before resting them on your stomach, then your hips, and down your inner thighs, his fingers drifting teasingly close to where you needed him most. the warmth was intoxicating. he kneaded out every ounce of stress from your muscles, his hands tracing long, deliberate strokes down your hips, and along your thighs until you were melting into the sheets, completely gone under his touch, leaving low and innocent sighs of pleasure under him, which of course didn’t go unnoticed by him.
“hmm,” you softly hummed, eyes closed, your hand innocently looking for his bicep in search of some closeness.
“tell me what you want, baby,” jungkook said.
“you… please,” you said as you squirmed under him.
he didn't make you say it twice. sliding down between your legs, he parted your slick folds and dove in, tasting your sensitive core with a ravenous hunger as his long fingers caressed your waist, down to your legs. his tongue swirled over your clit in slow, punishing circles, going back to your pussy and moving his tongue in and out, fucking you with his tongue, making your back arch off the mattress as you moaned his name.
“hmm so good,” you said, grabbing his hair and slowly moving his face to pleasure you.
jungkook was just so into you, into the feeling of loving you and showing it, he swore he could die between your legs, that's all he wanted.
he could feel his cock hardening thanks to your moans, how good you smelled and how soft your skin was.
“hmm fuck me babe, please,” you begged, a moaning mess.
jungkook didn’t waste any more time. he parted from you, stood up at the end of the bed and slowly rolled down his gray joggings and boxers, and at the same time you fully let go of your silk robe. jungkook crawled on top of you, taking his time to admire and touch you everywhere he could. his whole body weight on top of you, as you felt his cock on your pussy, throbbing.
you couldn’t help but grind on him as you hungrily kissed, in search of more closeness.
you needed him so bad.
jungkook grinned a toothy smile “my baby is desperate, isn’t she?” he playfully said, kissing you over and over again.
he aligned himself in you without using his hands and his cock slid right in your pussy without any effort, you were so wet for him, so ready to take him fully.
“oh—my—god,” you moaned with each thrust, this position making you feel him even deeper “s—so good hmm,” you moaned, eyebrows furrowed as you took him all in.
you opened your eyes and saw his, admiring you, adoring you.
“you’re so beautiful, fuck,” he said “want you to cum all over my cock pretty girl,” he hungrily said as his moves became harder and more erratic.
you were a moaning mess, all you could do was grab his shoulders, marking his back with your nails. he grabbed one of your legs and lifted it, placing it on his shoulder as he fucked you sideways, feeling him even deeper.
“fuuuuck,” he moaned, rolling his head back as he fucked you down onto the mattress.
“yes, yes y—yes, harder please,” you begged, making his moves become erratic “m—my god—”
the speed was too much to take, sending intense waves straight through your body. your nails dug harder into his back as your hips bucked up to meet every deep thrust he gave you.
“i—i’m gonna—” you gasped out, your voice breaking into a moan as your whole body started to shake under him.
“cum for me, do it,” he growled out, his voice thick and rough.
he leaned down, kissing you hard to swallow your sweet moans as your body clamped down around his cock, squeezing him tight.
that tight grip sent him right over the edge. jungkook let out a low groan against your lips, pushing himself as deep into you as he could go, pulling out at the very last second to come all over you. he shuddered heavily on top of you. his body trembling as the feeling finally slowed down.
for a long time, the room was quiet except for the sound of you both catching your breath, matching the ocean breeze coming through the curtains.
jungkook rested his forehead against yours, warm and slick with sweat. a sweet, soft smile spread across his face, and he leaned in to press soft little kisses all over your cheeks, your nose, and your lips.
“god, i love you so much,” he whispered against your skin, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a deep, warm hug, his heavy body resting comfortably on top of you. he buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath of your scent while his hands gently caressed your waist “honestly, those files can wait until monday morning,” he murmured, lifting his head just enough to look down at you, only for you to start pampering his face with sweet little kisses.
jungkook giggled, resting his full weight over you in the coziest way possible.
“hmmm i love you so muuuuch, my sweet little pretty boyyy,” you said softly in a cute, funny tone, far too consumed by love. you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, hugging him close and completely melting into his chest under his weight.
he let out a soft, contented sigh. you could hear his heartbeat steadying against your own, warm and grounding.
you looked up into his dark, affectionate eyes with a sleepy, fond smile “shower? together?” you asked softly under him.
a huge, toothy grin spread across jungkook’s face “oh hell yeah,” he said, instantly snapping out of his lazy haze as he pushed himself up, jumping out of bed with a playful burst of energy and heading straight to the bathroom to turn on the warm water for you both.
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okayyy guys, that’s a wrap on this story! let me know what you think in the comments.
i’m reaaaally open to exploring new genres with jungkook, like an enemiestolovers! prompt maybeee?
let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like to read! (:
from running away in the streets to being trapped together at a penthouse party, your dangerous secret is finally exposed. but when jungkook learns what you really are, will he run or beg you to bite?
pairing: vampire!reader x human!jungkook
genre: supernatural, vampire AU, smut with plot, heavy angst to smut, mutual obsession, dark romance
warnings: 18+ explicit sexual content, blood drinking/vampire feeding, biting/marking, trance themes, alcohol consumption, dark themes, cold skin/body temperature play, fingering, lip/finger sucking, mouth play/gagging, mirror sex, jk is sooo needy.
summary: avoiding jungkook was supposed to keep him safe from your lethal vampire instincts. but when your boss invites you to an exclusive penthouse birthday party, his irresistible blood leaves you with nowhere to hide. trapped in a locked luxurious bathroom, jungkook offers his neck on a silver platter.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
staying in the city was becoming a bit of a challenge for you. you would usually escape at night in search of some drunk human stumbling through the streets here and there, and while you had to admit their blood tasted terrible, it was the best you could do in the city. it was the only way you could feed without drawing attention.
living during the daytime was also impossible.
the harsh sun hurt your skin, but you did what you had to do to survive and escape the hunters, a massive group of people who walked the town carrying holy crosses, desperate to force any creature to expose themselves. creatures like you.
your brother had warned you about them, telling you the best option was to run far away. you had managed to book late-night flights, hopping between different hotels, strategically choosing crowded areas where staying hidden was easy and finding food was always an option.
making money was another hurdle. you worked at a crowded nightclub mixing drinks, which solved two problems at once: earning money to survive and, more importantly, having a constant supply of blood.
you couldn't help what you were, you were born like this. and no, these creatures weren't just fairytale monsters, you were very, very real.
you checked your reflection in the mirror one last time. your extremely pale skin was styled with a beautiful low waisted skirt paired with a tight, long sleeved black top.
the truth was, you couldn't really feel temperature, all you knew was that it was currently winter and you needed to blend in with the crowd.
your long burgundy hair fell in loose, soft curls at the ends. after spritzing on some alcohol-free perfume and putting in your brown contacts to hide your true eyes, you left your hotel room to catch a cab to work.
vampires had a few tricks that made them special, like superhuman strength and speed, but you possessed a rare ability to control emotions. with just a small thought, you could make a super stressed person feel totally calm, or instantly stop someone's angry fight before it even started. but your smell was your strongest sense, and, right now, it was driving you insane. the terrible smell of gross, alcohol-soaked blood from the loud crowd was making your stomach turn.
that gross feeling in your stomach instantly disappeared the second you walked over to a booth of guys to drop off a tray of drinks they had ordered.
a heavy, unwanted hand landed on your butt with a sharp slap.
disgusting
your eyes flashed. you turned around fast, glaring at the creepy customer with pure disgust. a low, angry hiss came out of your throat, like a dangerous wild animal about to attack. you immediately started using your vampiric ability, trying to change his gross, mood and make him fall into a heavy, sudden sleep right in his chair to give him a secondhand embarrassment moment in front of everyone.
before you could even weave the mood shift, a tall, impossibly attractive guy stepped directly between you and the creep.
time seemed to stall into slow motion. as he stood up for you, a sudden breeze swept past him, carrying his scent straight to you.
you inhaled, and your eyes closed for a quick, helpless second.
holy shit
his blood…
it smelled… insanely and intoxicatingly sweet.
so agonizingly pure that a violent wave of starvation hit you out of nowhere. behind your closed, red lips, your sharp fangs involuntarily snapped down, throbbed, and grew long, desperate to puncture his skin.
horrified by your own body's reaction, you moved your hand over your mouth to hide your teeth, completely overwhelmed. playing it smooth, you excused yourself and slipped back toward the bar counter before anyone could notice your slip up.
behind the bar, your knees gave out. you dropped low to the ground, slapping both hands over your mouth and nose to block out the smell and hide your fangs as you fought to force them away. you had never smelled blood that pure in your entire life, let alone reacted like this.
of course, your sudden disappearance didn't go unnoticed.
footsteps approached, and the pretty boy slowly leaned over the bar counter, looking down at you with deep concern.
“sorry to bother, but, are you okay? i just saw that creepy dude touch you,” he said worryingly, his cute doe eyes searching yours.
you cut him off quickly, frantically forcing your sharp fangs to retract back into your gums before speaking.
“yes, i am fine, i just—” you forced out, finally daring to look up at him. the moment you took another breath, inhaling the dangerously sweet scent of his blood, your mind spun “i need to have a cigarette. excuse me.”
without waiting for an answer, you managed to push past your co-workers, rushing out the back exit into the freezing night air.
as soon as you slipped out the back door, you impulsively pulled out a cigarette and lit it as fast as you could. you didn’t actually enjoy smoking, but the thick, toxic smoke helped confuse your hyper-sensitive sense of smell, and that was exactly what you needed right now.
you sat down on the cold step in front of the back door and sent a quick text to your boss, asking for a few minutes to take ‘an important call’ and have a quick smoke. she agreed without a problem, taking over your spot at the bar for a bit.
the night breeze brushed against your still body, but you couldn’t feel it.
how did hot or cold even feel?
to you, everything was just frozen. that was why you never let a human touch you, no high-fives, no hugs, nothing. even when your boss had congratulated you on your fake birthday and tried to pull you into a hug, you had stepped back. catching the quick flash of sadness on her face had made you feel so terrible that you immediately used your mood-shifting ability to make her happy again.
you traced small circles on your tatted knee, playing with the soft fabric of your skirt as you exhaled a cloud of grey smoke.
having the ability to sense every single human’s mood around you was truly a curse, it left your mind constantly wandering into dark places.
i'm a monster, you thought to yourself.
horrible.
truly horrible. a single, cold tear slipped down your pale skin.
you just wanted to feel the breeze. you watched the leaves rustle in the dark trees, but then a sharp hunger hit your stomach. your body was desperately asking for blood. your vision started to blur.
finishing your cigarette in a rush, you stood up and checked your surroundings for any human walking alone.
that was when you saw a young blonde girl staggering out of the club... all by herself.
perfect, you thought.
checking for the security cameras you already knew by heart, you waited until she was finally in a blind spot about to cross the street. then, you took off with unbelievably speed, so fast no human eye could track.
the girl turned around, terrified by your sudden presence. thankfully, it was 2 AM, and the street was empty, with only a few cars driving by.
“w-what do you want?!” she asked, taking a step back as a dark, dangerous energy radiated off your body.
“i'm sorry,” you said softly. you grabbed her jaw, slamming her back against a large tree.
“HELP, NO!” she yelled.
before she could scream again, your sharp fangs stabbed her neck, right below her ear, hidden behind her long hair so the scar wouldn't be visible. your free hand clenched into a tight fist as her blood hit your tongue. she wasn't as drunk as you thought. her blood tasted far too good.
taking only what you strictly needed, you grabbed both of her wrists and forced her eyes to lock with yours. you used your ability to make her calm down, so calm that when she woke up, this whole moment would come back as a quick, blurry flash.
“y-you’re a mon— a mons—“ the girl tried to say as her eyes slowly closed.
“i know,” you said, wiping your lips clean so no visible blood remained.
the moment you saw a cab, you stopped it with your hand.
“please take her to the nearest hotel, sir,” you said, helping her inside just as loud shouting echoed from the club exit.
“oh my god, sammy!” another girl, who was clearly drunk, ran toward the taxi “oh my god, did she bother you? or vomit on you?”
you chuckled “no, no, far from that. she asked me to help her call a taxi because she’s, apparently, too drunk...”
liar
“oh, thank you very much, good samaritan!” the girl said, getting into the back of the car with her best friend.
good, you thought. everything went according to plan! a little boy-scout salute to yourself.
you went back inside to finish your shift, trying to survive the night while a pair of dark eyes connected with yours from across the room.
you were back behind the bar, preparing drinks here and there. you had to take deep breaths every few minutes because the amount of humans painfully hurt your brain with so many different, chaotic emotions.
still, you couldn't help but search for those sweet brown eyes. somehow, you felt... safe under his stance. but you internally hated yourself for it. the only time you had allowed yourself to feel this way was back in your homeland with another vampire who was stubborn as hell and completely manipulative. because of your emotion ability, his toxic feelings had wrecked you.
and yet, this man’s eyes and his feeling of protection filled your brain.
on the other side of the room, he got the memo and didn’t approach you anymore, thinking he was too invasive during your last interaction. but he had this urge, this heavy feeling of needing to be around you.
that was the thing about vampires. to the human eye, they were outrageously beautiful, perfect creatures. and that was probably what he was feeling, completely mesmerized by you. still, he held back from approaching you again, keeping his distance and just watching you finish your shift.
finally, the night came to an end and you were asked to close up the nightclub.
the moment you stepped through the heavy back doors into the 4 AM air, that powerful, intoxicating scent hit you.
it was him.
you wanted to vanish into thin air the second you saw him. he was standing right there under the dim streetlight, waiting for you.
“sorry... i couldn’t just leave without making sure you were okay...” jungkook said worryingly “are you—”
“for fuck's sake, it was only a slap on my ass! i literally could’ve punched him, i don’t need a superhero, so just—” you stared at him angrily “leave…”
what he felt when you said those crude words to him, you automatically felt: disgust, sadness, and awareness. his whole face changed. he didn't say anything else, he just walked away, hands in his pockets.
fucking monster
idiot, you thought to yourself.
treating him like shit was the best thing you could do so he would disappear from your sight. you wanted to devour him entirely, his blood had something you had never felt or smelled before.
standing alone in the dark, you mind wandered through your thoughts. you wanted to feel a human’s warmth, and not only from their neck by sucking their blood. you needed more than that: a warm hug, a kiss, a real connection.
you slammed the door and disappeared at full speed behind a tree, crying in the dark before the dangerous sun came up.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
the next evening at 10:00 PM, jungkook was in his office, sitting straight in his chair and organizing papers that clearly didn't need to be organized. his mind was wandering around those five-second memories of you, your mysterious beauty, your sad eyes, and that strange, intense attraction that activated all five of his senses.
“yo, jeon, everything alright?” matt asked, rolling over in his office chair.
jungkook popped out of his thoughts quickly “yeah, yeah...” he said “why?”
“you were staring at your desk for 20 minutes straight. i counted them with my phone,” matt jokingly said, patting jungkook’s back “ah, what about some dinner? i'm starving for some steak.”
“sure!” jungkook said, standing up and taking his coat and scarf.
they ended up going to a restaurant down the street and taking a table right next to the big glass window.
around 10:50PM, matt stood up to go to the restroom.
left alone, jungkook stared out the window into the dark. the streets were quiet, and cold wind rustled the bare trees in the park across the street.
and then, he saw…
you?
yes! it was definitely you, standing right in the middle of the park under a dim, yellow streetlight.
jungkook couldn't breathe. he stared through the glass, taking in your entire figure. you were wearing a tight black top that had slipped far below your shoulders, leaving your pale, bare shoulders and collarbones exposed to the freezing winter air. the shirt fit tight on your waist, flowing into a long skirt that rested just above your ankles.
under that soft yellow light, surrounded by dark trees, you looked unbelievably beautiful.
what is she doing out there alone at 10:40 at night? jungkook thought. it's dangerous
he watched as your small hands pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a slow drag.
the urge to protect you pulled at him so hard it was physically painful. he couldn't just sit in a warm restaurant while you stood out there in the cold with your bare shoulders exposed.
he pushed his chair back, ready to go running to you…
“whoa, where are you going?” matt said as jungkook bumped on him
“i- i need to take an important call, i’ll be outside for a minute okay?” jungkook said quickly as matt sat back down.
“oh, alright,” he said.
jungkook grabbed his heavy coat, pushed open the glass restaurant doors, and ran across the street into the dark park, heading straight for you. before he could cross the street, a big bus suddenly drove past, making him stop in his tracks. but once it passed by, you were... gone.
“fuck,” he muttered to himself, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around, trying to catch even a glimpse of you.
were you even real?
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
the bass pounded through the crowded night club, but for you, the noise was secondary to the endless sea of heartbeats and veins around you. working as a bartender was equal parts survival and torture.
you were in the middle of wiping down the sticky counter when rachel, your boss, slid right next to you, a mischievous grin on her face. she pushed a shot glass toward you, the liquid inside a deep, ruby red.
how convenient
“drink this, boss’s orders,” rachel insisted, leaning over the counter “it’s cherry vodka”
you looked at the glass, forcing a small, polite smile while carefully maintaining your distance “rachel, you know i can't drink on shift—“
“just one shot! come on, they say i'm the best preparing it!” she pleaded, pouting.
before you could reply, the air around you shifted violently.
a sudden, overwhelming scent cut through the cheap perfume, sweat, and spilled liquor of the bar. it hit your senses like an absolute drug, rich, hot, and insanely addictive. your throat immediately burned with a vicious, hollow ache, and behind your gums, your fangs throbbed, trying to force their way out.
you froze, your eyes widening as you saw him walking towards you. he was dressed effortlessly, his dark hair slightly messy, completely oblivious to the chaos his mere presence was causing inside your head.
“oh, jungkook is here!” rachel called out, waving him over.
as jungkook turned his head and his dark eyes locked onto yours, your survival instincts screamed at you to run. you couldn't be near him. not tonight. not when your thirst was already riding such a razor thin edge.
without saying a single word to rachel, you abandoned the counter, turned on your heel, and practically flew toward the back exit, vanishing into the dark alley before he could even reach the bar.
“y/n!” your boss yelled after you.
jungkook just stood there, watching your disappearing figure with a heavy heart.
does she hate me? he thought, his chest aching.
“sometimes i really wonder what goes through her mind,” your boss sighed, shaking her head as she wiped down the counter.
“what? why?” jungkook asked quickly, looking at her.
“she’s always so anxious,” your boss explained softly “she didn’t have it easy growing up you know... she lost her entire family in a terrible car accident.”
jungkook stared at the spot where you had vanished, his chest feeling tight “a car accident?” he repeated softly, the image of your sad, pale face flashing in his mind.
“yeah,” rachel, your boss, said, leaning on the counter “poor girl keeps everyone at arm's length. she never lets anyone get close, doesn't like being touched, and works constantly. to be honest, she's terribly lonely and anxious all the time,”
jungkook looked down at his hands, trace memories of your eyes burning in his head “rachel, i... i don't know what it is, but from the first time i saw her, i was just completely stricken by her. i just can't get her out of my head"
rachel’s eyes lit up, a huge smile spreading across her face. “really? oh, jungkook, you should take her out! seriously, she needs someone like you to bring her out of her shell and ease that loneliness. try talking to her again!”
jungkook felt a spark of hope “okay i will,”
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
you couldn't do this anymore honestly. his smell was a literal torture device for your body. that night, after jungkook left, and you closed up the club, you begged rachel to change your schedule. you asked to take the next few weeks off during the week and only work late weekend nights when it was too crowded for him to find you. rachel felt bad for your ‘anxiety’ and agreed.
for three whole weeks, you successfully avoided him. you thought you were safe.
until rachel announced a massive birthday celebration.
her uncle owned a luxurious, high-end penthouse at the very top of a skyscraper in the middle of the city, and she was throwing an exclusive party for her birthday. you tried your best to make up an excuse, but rachel practically forced you, saying you needed to get out and live a little.
so the night of the party finally arrived. you decided to dress up for the occasion. you put on a white long-sleeved top, a very short white skirt, and cute silver jewelry. to finish the look, you chose your favorite pair of big black boots decorated with edgy metal harnesses. your makeup was completely flawless, styled with sharp eyeliner and your special colored contact lenses, you could never forget those, or your glowing vampire eyes would give you away in a second.
since rachel knew all about your supposed ‘anxiety’ you arrived early to spend some time together before anyone else got there. you spent a couple of hours hanging out on the rooftop terrace, stringing up fairy lights, connecting the bluetooth speakers, and setting up a long table packed with alcohol. rachel even offered to buy you dinner, but you politely declined. a big meal was a hard no for you, since… your diet was strictly blood.
slowly, the guests started to arrive. a few guys tried to greet you by holding your hands or touching your arm, but every single time, you quickly made up an excuse to step away.
“she doesn’t like being touched,” rachel explained to everyone with a sympathetic smile.
a few minutes passed, and the suffocating air on the terrace became too much to handle. excusing yourself quietly, you slipped away from the pool area and retreated to the bathroom upstairs to take a few deep breaths and pull your monster back under control.
the moment you walked out into the corridor, rachel caught your eye from across the floor, waving you over with a bright, expectant grin.
“oh, crap! y/n, can you do me a massive favor?” she asked, turning to you with wide, pleading eyes “jungkook just texted me. he's downstairs at the entrance with a bunch of heavy ice bags and extra booze for the bar, but i have to finish setting up the speaker system. could you please go down and help him bring the bags up?”
your heart did a violent flip inside your chest. “rachel, i—“
“pleeeeease! it'll take two minutes, i promise!” she pouted, practically bouncing on her toes.
you swallowed hard, choking down the immediate spike of anxiety. you mustered up your courage, nodded slowly, and made your way toward the elevator.
when the elevator doors opened on the ground floor, jungkook was standing near the lobby entrance, holding two heavy ice bags under his arms and some liquor bottles in his hands. his hair was slightly messy, and he looked dangerously good in his leather jacket, what was that on lis lip… a piercing? the moment the scent of his blood hit the air, your throat burned with that familiar, hollow ache.
“oh, hey, y/n,” jungkook said, his eyes lighting up the second he saw you. a small, warm smile spread across his lips “rachel sent you to rescue me?”
“y-yeah, let me help you with those,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes strictly on the bags to avoid his gaze.
you reached out to grab the heavy bag with liquors from his hands. even though you were holding back your vampire strength, your movements were fast and effortless. jungkook blinked, clearly surprised by how easily you lifted the heavy bag without even straining.
“whoa, alright,” he chuckled, grabbing the ice bags and stepping into the elevator beside you “guess you're stronger than you look.”
you gave him a quick, uncomfortable smile and kept your back pressed against the cold metal wall of the elevator. with your head tilted down, you held your breath for the entire ride up, desperate to keep his intoxicating scent from completely taking over your mind.
she is so beautiful, he thought to himself.
once the elevator reached the 30th floor, the doors slowly opened, revealing an excited rachel who immediately ran straight into jungkook’s arms to hug him tightly. you, on the other hand, slipped past them to make your way into the kitchen, quickly storing the liquor bottles before excusing yourself to the upstairs bathroom once again.
nearly everyone's eyes followed you as you walked away.
“she’s weird as fuck,” one of rachel’s friends spat, a few others nodding along in agreement.
“just leave her alone, she’s a sweetheart. come on, let’s go, let’s go!” rachel said, gently patting her friends on the back as she led them back outside to the terrace.
but jungkook’s eyes remained glued to you. he watched as the soft fabric of your white long sleeves swayed with every step you took, perfectly accompanying the graceful motion of your body as you disappeared up the stairs.
perfection
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
it started raining at some point during the night, forcing everyone to move inside to keep the party going. with all the glass doors shut, the heavy bass of the music echoed even louder through the penthouse. human bodies packed together in the living room, dancing dangerously close, completely lost in the rhythm and the alcohol.
you, on the other hand, isolated yourself in the clear glass hallway, leaning your back against the cool glass as you watched everyone have fun.
truth was, your stomach was beginning to ache with a sharp, hollow pain. jungkook’s blood scent lingering in the air kept your instincts at war with your mind, a constant, exhausting mental battle.
you caught rachel waving her hands frantically, motioning for you to come over to the crowded dance floor where she was dancing. at first, you shook your head no, wanting to stay in the safety of the dark corridor. but seeing her pout and feel down instantly made your chest physically hurt. you mustered up every drop of courage you had left and finally made your way toward the center of the room.
jungkook was under the influence of a few drinks. it was his childhood friend’s birthday and the weekend, he desperately needed this break off from his daily duties. but the exact second he saw you round the corner of the clear glass gallery, he swore he saw an angel.
the dim, warm lights of the massive penthouse outlined your silhouette in your white clothes in a way that felt entirely unreal. he watched your hips sway from side to side and your smooth legs move with effortless grace. he wondered what it would feel like to just... touch you.
he watched you stand near the edge of the crowd, sticking as close to rachel as possible to avoid everyone else. but then he noticed something strange. rachel had been pouting just a moment ago, but the second your eyes met hers, her mood magically shifted. she stopped frowning and beamed with pure joy, as if your presence instantly fixed her spirit.
jungkook stared at your face, analyzing every detail. you were perfect. ridiculously perfect. your skin was impossibly smooth, devoid of a single mole or freckle, and your eyes held a mystery he craved to see up close.
oh,
you were going to be his tonight.
he made it his mission to slowly approach you without you noticing. slicing through the warm, sweaty bodies on the dance floor, he closed the distance between you.
the sudden shift in the air and the rush of his distinct scent immediately alarmed you, but it was too late to back out. jungkook was already standing directly behind you, dangerously close.
he began moving his body to the heavy rhythm of the drums, pressing just close enough that your inner creature screamed for more, more closeness, more touch, anything to quiet the wild hunger raging inside your mind.
“escaping from me again, sweetie?” jungkook whispered softly against your ear, his lips almost brushing the shell of your skin. you froze, praying he hadn't fully touched you.
“i-i was not escaping i—” you stuttered, a few stray strands of his dark hair brushing against your cheek because of how close he was leaning.
“it’s obvious. anytime i get close, you just disappear,” he murmured, his breath fanning over your neck “i'm surprised you haven’t left yet.”
before you could step away, his warm hands reached out and clamped around your hips from behind.
“n-no, jungkook, don’t—” you gasped, trying your absolute best to pull forward and stop this, but his grip only tightened, his fingers holding you firmly in place.
your top wasn't quite long enough, leaving a small, delicate strip of bare skin exposed right above the waistband of your white skirt. jungkook’s warm fingers shifted slightly, hovering right over that bare skin.
yet, as physically close as you were, something strange happened to your moods instincts. being this close to someone for the first time in years was actually dulling your ability to read the rest of the room. somehow, his potent blood and focused intense thoughts alone, acted like a shield against everyone else. for a brief second, you felt safe.
“come on, dance with me,” he rasped, connecting the entire front of his body to your back. he began guiding your hips to the rhythm of the music, using his hands to keep you flush against him.
you doubted yourself a million times, but the feeling of peace was overwhelming. you let your head fall back against his muscular chest, your lips pressing tight together as your fangs unconsciously began to sprout behind your gums. you squirmed under his touch, trying desperately to suppress your true nature.
but your eyes started burning, your throat was doing flips, and your tongue could feel the sharp tips of your fully grown fangs resting against your lower lip.
you couldn't stay here. not like this.
you ripped yourself from his grip and bolted through the crowd.
“y/n!” jungkook shouted over the music, his eyes widening as he immediately gave chase, matching your rapid pace as you headed straight up the stairs toward the bathroom, the furthest one from everyone else.
you burst into the bathroom, too panicked to even think about locking the door. your eyes were stinging agonizingly from the glowing vampire nature building up behind the colored contact lenses. lifting your hands with trembling fingers, you quickly peeled the painful lenses out of your eyes and threw them onto the marble counter.
before you could even turn around to catch your breath, jungkook was right behind you.
he stepped into the dimly lit bathroom, closing the door behind him. but as his eyes locked onto yours, his breath hitched completely in his throat.
there you stood in the shadowy room, your glowing red eyes cutting through the darkness, your sharp fangs glinting under the soft light, and your skin pale and freezing cold.
he didn't scream. he didn't run. he just stared at you, his chest heaving, his dark eyes wide with pure awe.
“what... what are you?” he whispered, taking a slow step toward you.
“i'm a monster, jungkook,” you growled softly, backing up until your lower back hit the counter “and i swear if you stay in this room for another second, i won't be able to stop myself from draining you dry,”
a dark, breathtaking smirk slowly spread across jungkook's lips.
what? a smile?
he walked right up to you, completely towering over your smaller frame. reaching out, he wrapped his burning warm hands around your freezing wrists and pulled you flush against his body, his breath hitching slightly in surprise at the intoxicating contrast between your frozen skin and his burning skin.
“then don't stop,” he whispered, tilting his head back to expose his warm, beating pulse right in front of your lips “bite me y/n,”
“w-what? but jungkook...” you stuttered, completely caught off guard by his insane reaction.
“bite me y/n make yourself a feast out of me, do it,” he said pushing you on the marble counter, your ass pressed against it.
and you didn't need to be told twice.
the agony of your aching stomach and the sweet, intoxicating scent of his pulse drove you over the edge. with a low, desperate sound in your throat, you gripped his hair, tilted his head to the side, and buried your fangs deep into his neck.
jungkook let out a low, breathy groan, his entire body shuddering violently against yours. his hands dug into your waist, fingers tightening against the fabric of your white top, pulling you flush against him until not even air could pass between you.
and then… his blood hit your tongue.
it was pure fire, sweet and rich, clearing the fog in your head in an instant. you drank hungrily, completely helpless to the taste of him.
jungkook’s head fell back, his chest heaving as he gasped right against your ear “f-fuck... y/n...” he panted, his pulse hammering wildly.
your vampire strength pushed him back until his knees hit the edge of the bath counter, and in one fluid motion, you both tumbled onto the soft bench next to it, jungkook flat on his back with you pinned right on top of him.
you didn't break the connection for a second. your hands slid into his dark hair, holding him still as you drank.
“y/n...” he whimpered, his dark eyes opening slightly, hazy with pure surrender.
through the haze of your hunger, you felt his heart beating faster, his pulse softening just a tiny bit. pulling on every drop of willpower you had left, you painstakingly dragged your fangs out of his neck.
a thin red trail ran down toward his collarbone. driven by pure instinct, you leaned down and gently licked it clean.
jungkook arched his back off the wall with a ragged gasp, his fingers knotting tightly in your hair.
you sat up, straddling his waist, completely breathless. your lips were stained red, your fangs extended, and your crimson eyes glowing in the dark.
jungkook lay beneath you, his chest rising and falling heavily. he lifted a trembling hand, his warm thumb gently wiping a drop of blood from your bottom lip.
“see?” he whispered, a breathless smirk touching his lips as his other hand settled heavy on your hip “bite me again,”
“but i could have killed you, jungkook,” you whispered, your voice shaking “i almost didn't stop,”
“but you did,” he said softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. his gaze darkened, pressing you firmly down against him “and now that you've had a taste... you really think i'm going to let you run away from me again?”
lifting you up effortlessly, he sat you back down on the cold marble counter, never breaking eye contact as he reached back to lock the bathroom door. he stepped right between your parted legs, his warm hands greedily tracing every inch of exposed skin they could reach before slowly traveling under your skirt.
“god, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed against your skin, capturing your lips in a ferocious, bruising kiss. you kissed him back with equal desperation, completely helpless to how fiercely your body physically craved his touch.
your hands tangled wildly into his dark hair, pulling him closer. the moment you both broke away to catch your breath, you sank your fangs right into the other side of his neck. your teeth extended instantly, letting you taste the sweet, intoxicating rush of his hot blood all over again.
“hmm,” he hummed in pure delight, his large hands squeezing your hips and gripping your ass tightly to pull you right to the edge of the counter.
the feeling sent a shiver straight down your spine. pulling your fangs back, you dragged your lips back to his for a hungry, messy kiss, involuntarily grinding yourself flush against him.
he could feel himself slowly and painfully hardening, desperate for friction, practically burning with heat as he unbuttoned his black shirt. you gasped softly at the sight. beautiful black tattoos sprawled over his chest and shoulder, and you wondered how far down his arm they traveled.
his torso was dangerously toned, making your hands greedily touch every inch of smooth, hard skin they could reach, causing him to shiver at the stark contrast of your icy temperature.
“wanna fuck you real good, y/n,” he growled, his dark eyes searching for your glowing crimson ones.
“then do it,” you breathed, completely lost in the sensation, lifting your arms so he could pull your white shirt over your head.
he took his sweet time looking down at your pale, beautiful skin. his head dipped down, curiously reaching for your nipple, wrapping his lips around it and drawing wet circles with his tongue. your back arched off the counter, hands caressing his back and shoulders as a soft moan escaped your throat.
“hmm, fuck, jungkook...” you whispered, grabbing his hair once more to drag him back up for another taste.
you sank your fangs into the sensitive dip between his neck and collarbone, biting down and drinking him in. while you were distracted by the rush of his blood, he somehow managed to strip off your ridiculously short skirt. his fingers slid down your thigh, hovering dangerously close to your center. as much as you hated to admit it, you were leaking wet for him, and only for him.
you suddenly realized you had bitten down a little too hard. jungkook flinched, his body trying to pull back, and it took every ounce of your strength to break the bite. he offered you a strained smile, but his eyes gave him away.
pain.
“i’m sorry, i—” you tried to apologize, panic flickering in your chest.
“shhh, i’m okay,” he rasped, spreading your legs wide as he traced his long, hot fingers along your aching center.
you were clenching around nothing, practically throbbing for him.
how embarrassing, you thought.
“jungkook—” you moaned as two of his warm fingers slid straight inside you “hmm, yes...” you whimpered, rolling your hips back and forth, desperate for more intensity.
“fuck, y/n,” he growled, his free hand reaching up to wrap around your throat, lightly squeezing to choke you as your back hit the cool mirror “so fucking perfect”
the only sounds filling the dimly lit room were the low, heavy bass thumping through the floorboards and the loud, wet sound of his fingers fucking you out of your mind. you couldn't get enough, moving desperately against his hand with your head tilted back. jungkook gritted his teeth, adding a third finger and shifting his stance to drive deeper and faster into you.
“hmmm, fuck...” you were a moaning mess. “want more, jungkook... please.”
his brows furrowed with dark intent as he withdrew his fingers and licked them. then he unbuttoned his pants, kicking them aside, and pulled a condom from his pocket, quickly rolling it down his thick shaft. you let out a ragged breath at the sight of him, completely consumed by desire.
placing both hands on the edge of the counter beside your hips, he aligned his tip with your entrance. you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as he slowly slid inside, the scorching warmth of him stretching you to the limit.
“fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his jaw clenching “how long has it been since you’ve been fucked, beautiful?” he murmured mockingly, a dark smirk pulling at his lips.
“d-doesn’t matter,” you huffed.
annoyed by his teasing, your nails dug into his back and you sank your fangs straight into his shoulder, tasting his blood once more as he pounded into you.
you couldn’t seem to find the will to stop, craving more of him, more of his blood. but then you felt his heartbeat accelerating dangerously fast, the sudden surge alarming your instincts. with a gasp, you managed to pull your fangs back once more, genuinely surprised by your own restraint.
he reached up to gently caress your cheek with his thumb, his index and middle fingers dangerously tracing the curve of your lips, smearing your red lipstick into a messy blur.
you unconsciously parted your lips, your sharp fangs still extended from the bite, making him stare at you in pure awe. without a word, he slid his fingers right into your mouth.
“suck,” he demanded hoarsely.
you rolled your red eyes back, swirling your tongue around his fingers “ah, fuck,” he groaned as the sharp tip of your fang lightly pricked his skin, letting a tiny drop of his blood hit your tongue. but you didn't stop there. you pushed your head forward, letting his long fingers slide down to touch the back of your throat. you gagged softly, your eyes briefly fluttering back as your head tilted against the mirror.
“fuck, y/n, what a dirty mess you are,” he growled, his voice thick with lust.
you took his wet fingers back between your lips, sucking them hungrily, imagining they were his cock filling you so good. you let yourself choke a couple more times, looking up to meet his dark, dangerous smirk. you could see the dark bite marks scoring his neck, shoulder, and collarbone. he was completely gone for you, consumed by the madness.
pulling his fingers from your mouth, he hooked his thumb over your bottom teeth instead, tugging your face up close to his.
“bite me,” he rasped desperately, his dark eyes searching yours “drink from me babe,”
the words did something terrifying to your soul. as he drove deeper and faster inside you, you found a sweet, sensitive spot right between his ear and neck, sinking your fangs into his skin once more. you drank slowly this time, savoring every drop as his rhythm became wild, as if he wanted to break you apart right then and there.
you were becoming completely addicted to his blood, to the brutal way he was fucking you, and to the overwhelming feeling of being wanted, loved, and completely seen for what you were.
when you finally released his neck, he leaned down to leave a trail of wet, bruising kisses against your collarbone. pulling out of you with a low sigh, he guided you down off the marble counter, leading you toward the floor-to-ceiling mirror right beside the massive bathroom jacuzzi.
he turned you around, pressing your chest flat against the cold, reflective glass. looking at your reflection, you saw the beautiful mess you had become just for him.
he was your drug.
“look at yourself, baby. look how i make you feel,” he whispered darkly, gathering your hair in one hand like a makeshift ponytail while his other hand clamped firmly around your hip to guide himself back inside you.
with your lower back arched and your hips raised, the loud, wet sounds of his thrusts echoed through the spacious bathroom, mingling with the heavy bass thumping through the building. you loved it so much it made your head spin. your hands scrambled for purchase against the slick glass, your face pressing into the mirror with every hard push.
“harder, j-jungkook—” you begged, drool dripping from your mouth over your extended fangs.
“fuck, baby,” he groaned, his grip tightening on your hip “such a fucking mess for me.”
he slammed into you with everything he had, driving you right over the edge. a violent wave of pleasure crashed through your entire body. your climax took over, quickly followed by jungkook spilling hot inside you with a breathless roar.
when it was over, you turned around, resting your back against the cool mirror to catch your breath. your glowing red eyes shone dimly in the shadowy light, your lips messy with a slick mixture of saliva and blood.
jungkook stepped up to you, gently helping you gather your strength. you used the sink faucet and a wet hand towel to clean yourself up, wiping away the blood and lipstick while he stood beside you, fixing his messy hair and examining the dark bite marks on his neck in the mirror.
“i’m so sorry, jungkook,” you murmured, sliding your skirt back into place and staring at the vivid marks scoring his skin.
“i like how they look,” he confessed, a slow, breathtaking smile spreading across his face.
“are you crazy?” you asked, your voice a mix of utter disbelief and deep worry.
he closed the small distance between you, leaning down to press a sweet, lingering kiss to your cheek.
“y/n...” he started quietly “i just... i can’t stay away from you anymore”
“jungkook—” you tried to speak, pulling your shirt back over your head as he gently helped you adjust the sleeves.
“i’m serious, y/n,” he insisted, his dark eyes locking onto yours with absolute sincerity “from now on, anytime you need to feed, anytime you need comfort, call me. i want to be the one for you”
“but jungkook, it’s dangerous—”
“i’m begging you, y/n,” he whispered, taking your hands in his. “let me be yours,”
Summary: Separated by an apartment wall, you and your arrogant, heavily-inked neighbour, Jeon Jungkook, are locked in a petty war. But when a confrontation sparks something between you two, the line between mutual hatred and pure obsession begins to blur.
Pairing: neighbour!jungkook x f!reader
Genre: neighbours to enemies to lovers, tattoo artist!jungkook, workaholic!y/n
Warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, toxic/possessive dynamics, dom!jungkook, jealousy, rough sex, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, mirror sex (?), kinda public sex, creampie (wrap before you tap!!), orgasm denial, crying from overstimulation, choking, hair pulling, face slapping, degradation, praise, female receiving oral, jungkook is a player, usage of the pet name princess, they genuinely hate each other at first, eventual fluff!
wc: 11.9k
A/N: Guys, this one was crazy to write, and I love it!! I hope you enjoy reading!
The drywall separating apartment 4A and 4B wasn't just thin; it was practically non-existent. It was a structural joke, a cheap architectural oversight that ensured your personal life was entirely intertwined with the man living on the other side.
You knew his schedule by heart, not because you wanted to, but because you had no choice.
On Monday afternoons, it was the heavy, dragging sound of his combat boots hitting the hardwood floor around 1 PM, signalling he was finally awake. On Wednesdays, it was the low, rhythmic hum of his television playing old films until dawn. But the weekends were the worst. The weekends belonged to the bass, a deep, thumping vibration that rattled the framed prints on your living room wall, and the sharp, buzzing whir of a rotary tattoo machine.
Jeon Jungkook was a nuisance. He was also your neighbour, and you despised him.
To you, he was an arrogant, over-inked asshole who treated the apartment complex like his personal, twenty-four-hour playground. He dressed entirely in oversized black streetwear, smelled like a combination of raw tobacco and expensive leather, and also possessed a smirk that made you want to commit violence.
To him, you were a hyper-organized, stuck-up brat. He’d told you as much during your first real interaction three months ago, when you had politely, then not so politely, asked him to turn down his music at 3 AM.
"You need to unclench, Princess," he had drawled, leaning against his doorframe with a silver hoop piercing glinting in his lower lip. "Life is too short to spend it being a stuck-up brat."
Since then, it had been a war. You left precise, passive-aggressive notes on his door about tenant regulations. He responded by using those exact notes as coasters, leaving ring stains on the paper before taping them back to your door. If you glared at him in the hallway, he would just give you a lazy wave in return.
Tonight, however, was pushing you past your limit.
It was a Friday, hitting a miserable 1:45 AM. You had a gruelling performance review at work at nine o'clock that same morning, and your brain was fried. You had tried earplugs. You had tried white noise machines. You had tried burying your head beneath three different pillows.
But the noise from 4B was relentless. It wasn't the tattoo machine tonight. It was music, some R&B track that felt like it was pumping directly into your cerebral cortex, accompanied by the distinct, high-pitched moaning of a girl.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Your eyes snapped open in the dark. Your jaw clenched so hard it ached. The moaning echoed through the wall again, followed by the low rumble of Jungkook’s laugh.
That was it, that was the final straw before your sanity snapped. Throwing your blankets aside, you slid out of bed. You didn't care that you were wearing an oversized, faded college t-shirt that hung loosely off one shoulder and a pair of grey sleep shorts. You didn't care that your hair was a chaotic, unruly nest. You were driven entirely by sleep deprivation and pure, unadulterated fury.
You stormed across your dark living room, yanked your front door open, and stepped out into the chilly, fluorescent-lit hallway. You found out that the music was even louder out here. You marched over to the door and raised your fist, slamming it against the wood with a force that threatened to splinter it.
"Jungkook!" you shouted over the bass. "Open the damn door!"
For a minute or two, nothing happened. Then, the music abruptly cut out, dropping the hallway into a ringing silence. You stood there, breathing heavily, your hands curled into tight fists at your sides.
Then the lock clicked, and the wooden door swung open.
Jungkook stood there, and the sight of him only fuelled your irritation. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants that hung very low on his hip bones. His torso was a breathtaking, intimidating canvas of dark, intricate ink that wrapped around his ribs, a sprawling pattern that climbed his left side, and a sleeve that covered every inch of his right arm down to his knuckles. A few stray strands of damp, dark hair fell over his eyes.
He looked completely unbothered, his dark eyes raking over you, scanning your messy hair, your bare legs, and the angry flush creeping up your neck.
"Well, look who it is," Jungkook murmured, his voice raspy with a sleepiness that didn't match the hour. He leaned his heavy shoulder against the doorframe, crossing his tattooed arms over his chest. "The midnight inspector. Am I using too much oxygen in my apartment, Y/N?"
"Turn it off," you breathed, your voice shaking with the effort to keep from screaming. "Turn the music off, Jungkook. Shut the girl up. Shut yourself up. It is almost two in the morning."
Jungkook let out a mocking chuckle, tilting his head. "It's Friday. Some people actually enjoy their lives. You should try it sometime. Might help with..." He gestured vaguely to your rigid posture. "...whatever it is you have going on."
"I have a career going on!" you snapped, taking a sharp step forward, invading his space. The scent of him, that heavy cologne, hit your senses instantly, making your stomach do a strange flip. "Some of us don't make a living by stabbing people with ink and sleeping until noon. I have an actual life to attend to tomorrow, and your complete lack of basic human decency is ruining it."
Jungkook’s smile vanished. The playful, mocking glint in his eyes hardened into something sharp. He straightened up from the doorframe, instantly towering over you. He took a step out into the hallway, forcing you to back up half a step until the heel of your foot hit the opposite wall.
"A basic lack of human decency?" he repeated, his voice dropping an octave. He stepped closer, completely eclipsing you in his shadow. "You've been looking down your nose at me since the day you moved in, Princess. You think because you wear a blazer and work in an office that you're better than me?"
"I know that I’m better than you," you shot back, refusing to break eye contact even as your heart began to beat frantically against your ribs. You could feel the heat radiating off his bare chest. You could see the subtle rise and fall of his collarbone, the small scar on his cheek, the absolute intensity in his big eyes.
"You're a brat," he whispered, leaning down just enough that his minty breath fanned across your forehead. "A spoiled little brat who likes to complain because she has nothing better to do. You love this. You love coming out here and picking fights with me."
"I hate you," you hissed, your nails digging into the palms of your hands. "I hate everything about you. I hate your music, I hate your stupid tattoo machine, and I hate the fact that I can hear your revolving door of guests through my wall."
Jungkook’s eyes darkened, his gaze dropping down to your lips for a fraction of a second before snapping back to your eyes. A tension dropped over the hallway, friction that had nothing to do with noise complaints and everything to do with the fact that you were both hyper-aware of how little clothing the other was wearing.
"Hey, Kook? Everything okay out there?"
A soft, feminine voice called out from inside his apartment. A pretty girl with brunette hair, wearing one of Jungkook's oversized black t-shirts, peeked her head around the corner of his entryway.
The spell broke.
Jungkook didn't look back at her. His eyes remained locked on yours, his jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. The intensity in his gaze was almost bruising, a silent, furious challenge.
"Yeah," Jungkook said, his voice rough and strained as he finally took a step back, breaking the suffocating bubble of space between you. "Everything's fine. My neighbour was just leaving."
"Turn it down," you said one last time, though the fire in your voice had died down into a shaky whisper.
Jungkook didn't answer, he just gave you one long, unreadable look, one that made your skin prickle with a chill, before backing into his apartment and shutting the door hard enough to rattle the frame. A second later, the hallway fell into absolute, dead silence. You stood against the wall for a full minute, your knees trembling slightly. You breathed in the lingering scent of his cologne, your chest was tight and your mind was racing.
You hated him. You absolutely hated him with every single bone in your body.
But as you walked back into your dark, silent apartment and crawled back into bed, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach drop as you thought about the girl he was with. With a furious mind, you eventually fall back asleep, hoping to never see anything like that again.
You wondered how much lack of sleep the human body could survive off of without going clinically insane.
Your performance review at nine o'clock had been an exercise in acting. You had smiled, nodded, and talked about your quarterly goals through exhaustion, all while a pounding headache stabbed at your skull. Every time your boss praised your "attention to detail," your mind flashed to a pair of unreadable eyes and a heavy tattoo sleeve illuminated by the flickering hallway light.
By the time you unlocked the main entrance to the apartment complex at 5:45 PM, you were running on pure survival instinct. Your feet ached from your stupid heels, your shoulders were tense, and all you wanted was a hot shower, a bowl of instant ramen, and to watch Love Island.
The universe, unfortunately, had other plans.
When you stepped off the elevator onto the fourth floor, your path was entirely obstructed. Right in front of your door, not 4B, but your door, 4A, were three massive, heavy-duty cardboard boxes. They were bound in rough packing tape and stamped with a bold logo.
You stopped dead in your tracks, your purse dragging against your thigh. Your eyes dropped to the shipping label.
Recipient: Jeon Jungkook / Ink & Iron Studio
Address: 402 Genevieve Lane, Apt 4B
"Are you kidding me?" you muttered to the empty hallway.
The delivery driver had carelessly put the packages at the wrong door. You looked over at door 4B. You doubted that Jungkook was even home, assuming he was out doing annoying, reckless things.
With a frustrated sigh, you dropped your purse. You couldn't just leave them out here; the building management was notoriously strict about hallway obstructions, and if anyone got fined, it would likely be you since they were stacked against your door. Crouching down in your pencil skirt, you gripped the sides of the top box and hoisted it. It was incredibly heavy, filled with what felt like solid metal components, likely tattoo machines, power supplies, or heavy jars of ink.
Groaning under the weight, you unlocked your door, pushed it open with your foot, and began the agonizing process of dragging Jeon Jungkook’s packages into your entryway just to clear the walkway. By the time all three boxes were sitting inside your pristine, minimalist apartment, your hair was falling out of its neat clip and a fine sheen of sweat coated your forehead.
You slammed your door shut with a loud sigh, locked it, and promised yourself you would make him beg for them later.
An hour later, the hot shower had done little to soothe your frayed nerves. You were dressed in a pair of silk pajamas, ones that made you feel slightly put together, and were just waiting for your water to boil on the stove when a knock rattled your front door.
It was a firm, demanding sequence that echoed through your quiet living room, and you instantly knew who it was. You walked over to the door, pulling the silk lapels of your shirt a little higher, and swung it open.
Jungkook stood under the hallway light, but he didn't look like the chaotic, shirtless disruptor from the night before. He wore a crisp, black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing the intricate details of his forearms, and a pair of reading glasses was pushed up into his messy dark hair. He smelled like rain and the distinct, expensive scent of fresh leather.
He had his phone out, but his head snapped up the moment the door opened. His dark eyes instantly raked over you, taking in the smooth silk of your pyjamas, and the bare skin of your legs. A subtle shift occurred in his expression, the irritation fading into something heavy and focused.
"My tracking email says my shipment has arrived," Jungkook said, "And considering my doorstep is completely empty, I figured my favourite brat took them hostage."
You decided to completely ignore that last part, even if the sound of him calling you his made your stomach swirl with butterflies. Leaning against your doorframe, you crossed your arms, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on the exposed skin of your legs. "They were dropped off at the wrong door, Jungkook. But because I actually care about building regulations, I dragged them inside so we wouldn't get flagged by management."
Jungkook’s eyes flicked past your shoulder, spotting the three large cardboard boxes sitting stacked neatly in your entryway. A slow, infuriating smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
"Look at you," he drawled, stepping closer, completely ignoring the unspoken boundary of your threshold. "A good Samaritan. And here I thought you hated me."
"I do hate you," you shot back quickly, your voice perhaps a bit too breathless. "I dragged them in because I didn't want your garbage associated with my apartment number. Take them and get out."
Jungkook took another step forward, crossing the threshold entirely. He entered your apartment without an invitation, his heavy combat boots clicking against your polished hardwood floors. The sheer size of him suddenly made your entryway feel microscopic. He was too large, too loud, too much for the quiet, curated space you kept.
"Nice place," he murmured, his eyes scanning your neat living room, the perfectly aligned throw pillows, the single candle burning on the coffee table. He looked entirely out of place, like a dark ink stain on a white canvas. He turned back to you, leaning his hip against your entryway table, "A little sterile, don't you think? I’m not surprised though, it matches your personality."
"Get out of my apartment, Jungkook," you scoffed, your hand gripping the edge of your shorts. He was barely six inches away from you. You could see the faint shadow of stubble along his sharp jawline, and just how plump his bottom lip is.
"Make me," he countered softly.
The words weren't a threat; they were a direct challenge. The air between you turned heavy, filled with the unresolved situation from the previous night. The memory of him looming over you in the hallway, his bare chest inches from your face, flared to life in your mind, making your hands twitch.
Jungkook noticed. His gaze dropped to your chest, watching the rapid rise and fall of your breathing beneath the silk, before travelling back up to lock onto your eyes. He tilted his head down, his voice dropping into a quiet whisper that sent a shiver straight down your spine.
"You're shaking, Y/N."
"I'm angry that you’re violating my space," you lied, your jaw tightening as you stared back at him, refusing to let him see how much his presence was rattling you. "Just take your boxes and leave."
Jungkook didn't move. He reached out, his large, tattooed hand hovering just inches away from your face. For a terrifying, exhilarating second, you thought he was going to touch you, that his fingers were going to slide against your skin, possibly caressing you. Your eyes widened slightly, your body freezing in anticipation, your core pulsing with a spike of heat.
But he didn't touch you. Instead, his fingers brushed against the stray strands of hair that were clinging to your cheek, gently tucking them behind your ear without his skin ever actually making contact with yours. The sheer restraint of the gesture was agonizing, a physical tease that made your pulse skyrocket so much that you thought you were going to have a heart attack.
"You're all talk," he whispered, his eyes staring into yours with a terrifying amount of certainty. "You pretend you can't stand the sight of me, but you're hyper-aware of every single thing I do. You like me, baby. It's the only time you actually let yourself feel something."
"You don't know anything about me," you hissed, your hands curling into tight fists against your sides to keep from reaching out and shoving him, or pulling him closer.
"I know you've been thinking about last night," he murmured, his face coming so close you could feel the warmth of his breath against your lips. He smelled so good it was dizzying, an intoxicating pull that was corrupting your common sense by the second. "Just like I have."
Before you could process the confession, before you could fire back a retort or even question him about his words, Jungkook abruptly straightened up. The intensity broke instantly as he stepped away from you, reaching down to grab the heaviest box from the stack.
He lifted it effortlessly, his biceps flexing against the fabric of his shirt, the tattoos shifting dynamically with the movement. You prayed in that moment that he didn’t just catch you ogling his biceps.
"I'll take the rest of these off your hands," he said, his tone shifting back to that lazy, casual tone, though his eyes still held a lingering heat. He walked out into the hallway, setting the first box down by his door before returning for the second.
You stood frozen by your open door, your skin practically vibrating from the near-miss of his touch. You watched him silently as he moved the remaining boxes, his broad back shifting under the crisp black fabric of his shirt.
When the last box was cleared, he stood in his own doorway, looking back at you across the narrow expanse of the hallway. He pushed his reading glasses down onto the bridge of his nose, the frames casting a sharp shadow over his dark eyes.
"Thanks for holding onto my package, Y/N," he said, a slow, wicked smirk spreading across his face as he emphasized the last word. "Have a good night. Try to get some sleep."
He stepped into apartment and shut the door, the click of his lock echoing in the quiet hallway.
You stood there for a long moment, staring at the blank wood of his door. Your heart was hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird, and your lower stomach was tight with an unfulfilled ache. You walked back into your apartment, slamming the door shut and locking it with a trembling hand.
The water on your stove was boiling over, but you didn't even notice. You leaned your back against the door, closing your eyes, completely consumed by the realization that the war between you was no longer about noise, and it was spiralling out of your control.
Jealousy was an ugly emotion. It didn't slip into your life quietly; it tore through your chest, making a mockery of you.
What made it entirely unbearable was its absurdity. You had no right to feel jealous. Jeon Jungkook was not yours. He was a chaotic, frustrating man who lived on the other side of a paper-thin wall, and was a man you actively claimed to despise to anyone who would listen. Yet, over the last forty-eight hours, the unwanted emotion had taken up permanently in the pit of your stomach, intensifying every time you heard his door click open or caught the distant sound of a feminine laugh.
The tipping point arrived on Saturday evening.
You had given up on trying to relax in your apartment. The silence felt less like peace and more like an interrogation, something that left you entirely too much time to think about the weight of his gaze, the sound of his voice, and the agonizing restraint of his fingers tucking your hair behind your ear. Driven by a restless need to escape your own thoughts, you had left the building around 9 PM to walk to the 24-hour market down the street, buying things you didn't need just to kill the time.
When you pushed through the glass doors of the apartment lobby to return, the universe decided to test the last small bits of your sanity.
Jungkook was standing by the mailboxes. He wasn't alone.
She was beautiful, painfully, effortlessly so. She wore a cropped leather jacket that matched his dark denim and possessed a confidence that shouted she belonged in his world. She was laughing, her head tilted back, her hand resting casually against the broad expanse of Jungkook’s chest. Her manicured fingers traced the fabric of his shirt, right over the spot where his heart beat, and Jungkook was looking down at her with an expression that you had never seen before.
Your footsteps halted on the polished tile floor. For a single, irritating second, the breath was completely knocked from your lungs. The surge of jealousy that hit you was so violent it made you dizzy. You wanted to march over there, rip her hand off his chest, and kiss him right in front of her.
Instead, your fingers tightened around the plastic handles of your grocery bag until your knuckles turned white. You forced your chin up, your expression hardening into a mask of pure ice, and began walking toward the elevators.
The sound of your sneakers against the tile cut through the quiet lobby.
Jungkook’s head snapped up instantly. The relaxed, easy smile vanished from his face the moment he looked at you. The shift in his demeanour was instantaneous; his shoulders squaring as his gaze tracked your movement across the room. He didn't look at the woman anymore. He didn't listen to whatever she was saying. His focus was entirely pinned to you.
But, you didn't look back. You stared straight ahead at the metallic doors of the elevator, pressing the button with a sharp jab.
Through the reflection in the polished steel doors, you watched the woman say something to him, pouting slightly as she noticed his detachment. Jungkook didn't even glance at her. He muttered a brief response, his eyes still burning a hole into the back of your head from across the lobby.
When the elevator doors finally opened, you stepped inside and turned around. For a fraction of a second, your eyes clashed with his across the expanse of the lobby. Then, the doors slid shut, leaving you alone in the quiet metal box.
The retaliation came less than twenty-four hours later.
On Sunday evening, a male colleague from your work, Eun-woo, offered to drop you off after a grueling, multi-hour project. Eun-woo was everything Jungkook was not. He was polished, predictable, and exceptionally polite. He parked his sleek sedan directly in front of your apartment building, killing the engine to turn and smile at you.
"You look exhausted, Y/N," Eun-woo said softly, reaching across the console to gently pat your forearm. "You've been working too hard. Let me take you out for dinner tonight. No talk about quarterly projections, I promise."
You opened your mouth to politely decline, but before the words could leave your lips, a sensation washed over you. It was that familiar, prickling heat on your skin, the unmistakable feeling of being watched.
Your eyes naturally drifted past Eun-woo’s shoulder, looking toward the concrete steps of the building entrance.
Jungkook was standing there.
He was wearing an oversized black hoodie with the hood pulled down, his dark hair messy and windswept. He had an unlit cigarette resting between his lips, and his hands were shoved deep into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. He wasn't moving. He looked like a statue carved from stone, his head tilted slightly downward, his eyes completely cold, and fixed entirely on Eun-woo’s hand resting against your forearm.
The look on his face was one you had never seen before. It wasn't the teasing, arrogant smirk of your neighbour. It was the glare of a man watching someone touch something that belonged exclusively to him. The animosity radiating off his frame was so strong it seemed to warp the very air around the car.
Eun-woo, entirely oblivious to the guy staring at him through the glass, smiled warmly. "What do you say?"
"I... I can't tonight, Eun-woo," you stammered, your voice breathless as you kept your eyes locked on Jungkook. "But thank you for the ride. I'll see you in the office tomorrow."
You practically scrambled out of the passenger seat, grabbing your purse and stepping onto the curb. The moment the car door slammed shut and Eun-woo pulled away, the space between you and Jungkook shrunk.
You walked up the concrete steps, your heart in your throat. Jungkook didn't move an inch to let you pass. He stood directly in the center of the double doors, forcing you to stop a mere foot away from him.
The scent of him, wrapped around you instantly, suffocating your anger and replacing it with a dizzying tension.
"Step aside, Jungkook," you said, your voice tight, though you hated the slight tremor that betrayed your composure.
He didn't move. He slowly took the unlit cigarette from his lips, holding it between two ink-stained fingers, his jaw clenching so hard you thought you saw a muscle twitch beneath his perfect skin.
"Who the hell was that?"
The sheer audacity of the question sparked a defensive fire in your veins. You glared back at him, scoffing loud while your chest rose and fell heavily. "None of your business. Move."
"It becomes my business when I have to watch some boring, predictable suit touch you," he hissed, taking a step forward, his massive frame completely blocking the entrance to the building. "Is that your type, Y/N? Safe? Predictable? Someone who asks permission before they even look at you?"
"At least he has manners," you spat back, your hands curling into fists against your thighs as you fought the overwhelming urge to press your palms against his chest just to feel the thud of his heart. "At least he doesn't treat his apartment like a revolving door for whatever girl that happens to breathe in his direction. Go back inside, Jungkook. I'm sure your friend from last night is waiting for a call back."
Jungkook’s eyes flared, satisfaction flickering through the anger in his gaze. He let out a breathless laugh that sounded entirely devoid of joy.
"Oh," he whispered, stepping so close his chest brushed against yours, trapping you against the cold metal railing of the steps. "So that's what this is. You’re jealous."
"I’m not jealous!" you lied, your voice rising slightly under the weight of the suffocating proximity.
"You are," he corrected, his voice dropping into a whisper that felt like a physical touch against your skin. He leaned in, his lips close to the shell of your ear, his breath hot against your cold skin. "You were practically burning a hole in the back of my head last night, baby. I could feel you from across the room. You hated seeing her hand on me. Admit it."
"You're so delusional," you gasped out, your head tilting back against the railing, your eyes widening as you stared up at his sharp profile. The urge to reach out, to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down into a kiss, was so overwhelming your entire body ached with it. Your skin was screaming for the contact he was withholding.
"Tell me I'm lying," Jungkook commanded, his gaze dropping to your mouth, his own breathing heavy and ragged. His hand twitched at his side, his fingers flexing as if he were fighting every instinct he possessed to keep from grabbing your waist. "Tell me you don't want to rip my shirt off every time you see me. Tell me you don't think about me when you're lying in your bed alone, touching yourself."
He whispered that last part, like he knew that he caught you red handed. Your face instantly burned, a stupid blush filling your cheeks. "I hate you," you whispered, the words losing all their venom, sounding more like a desperate plea for mercy.
"Good," Jungkook growled, his eyes locking back onto yours with a terrifying amount of intent. "Keep hating me. Because the moment you stop, Y/N, I'm not going to let you walk back into that apartment alone."
Then, he moved away. His chest heaving as he stared down at you for one last, agonizing second. The restraint between you was a thin wire, vibrating so violently it threatened to snap both of you in half.
Without another word, Jungkook turned, shoved the glass doors open, and walked into the building, leaving you standing on the concrete steps in the freezing air, gasping for breath, completely consumed by a fire that you never signed up for.
You had lost the argument the moment your friends showed up at your apartment door carrying a garment bag and a bottle of cheap prosecco. Driven by what they called a "mandatory intervention for a workaholic," they had stripped you of your comfortable sweatpants, forced you into a sleek black dress that clung to your curves like a second skin, and dragged you out into the weekend night.
Now, standing in the middle of Prism, one of the city’s exclusive, packed clubs, you regretted every single life choice that had led you here.
The environment was definitely an assault on the senses. Neon blue and magenta strobe lights cut through a haze of smoke, flashing in sync with an industrial beat that vibrated through the soles of your strapped heels. The bass was a physical force, thumping against your heart.
Spitefully, your brain immediately made the connection. It felt exactly like apartment 4B on a Saturday night.
"Come on, Y/N! Take a sip!" your friend shouted over the roar of the crowd, shoving a vodka cranberry into your hand. "You’ve been a ghost all week. Live a little!"
You managed a smile, taking a swallow of the bittersweet alcohol. The drink burned its way down your throat, doing absolutely nothing to soothe the restlessness that had been clawing at your insides since your conversation with Jungkook on the building steps. You felt entirely out of place among the sea of hot bodies. Your mind was a long loop of dark irises, the smell of cigarettes, and the memory of his broad chest brushing against your own.
Desperate for a moment of peace, you stepped back from the edge of the pulsating dance floor, leaning your shoulder against a cold, mirrored pillar near the VIP lounge. You took another slow sip of your drink, your eyes aimlessly roaming the layout of the club.
And then, your heart completely stopped.
Situated in a semi-private leather booth was a group that looked like they had crawled straight out of a high-fashion editorial. They were effortlessly cool, heavily tatted, and radiating an aura of untouchable arrogance.
Sitting right in the center of them, a glass of amber whiskey held loosely between his fingers, was Jungkook.
The breath caught in your throat, a violent surge of shock rushing to your face. He was stripped of the oversized streetwear and the studio gear. He was wearing a midnight-black silk button-down shirt, the top three buttons casually undone to expose the sharp lines of his collarbones and the ink that climbed up the side of his shoulder. A silver chain caught the flashing neon lights, glinting against his chest. His dark hair was styled as a mullet, exposing the brutal symmetry of his jawline.
He was surrounded by his friends, likely the other artists he hung out with, but your eyes didn't linger on them. They snapped instantly to the woman sitting on the armrest of his booth. She was a striking beauty in an incredibly short silver dress, leaning down to whisper something into his ear, her hand resting casually on the back of his neck.
Dread bloomed in the pit of your stomach, so intense it made your hand tremble against your glass. The same toxic, nauseating jealousy from the lobby bloomed to life, hotter and more dangerous than before. You watched, your jaw clenching, as Jungkook took a slow sip of his drink, his face expressionless as the woman laughed at something his friend said.
As if he somehow sensed the weight of your gaze, Jungkook’s head turned. His dark eyes cut through the flashing strobe lights, scanning the crowded floor below with a lazy, bored detachment, until they hit the mirrored pillar.
Until they hit you.
The shift in his demeanour was instantaneous. The bored, relaxed slouch vanished as his posture went straight. He didn't blink, only because his gaze locked onto you with the force of a vice grip, his eyes that were almost terrifying under the flashing blue lights. He raked his eyes down your body, tracking the sharp line of your collarbone, the tight fit of the black dress, and the bare skin along your legs.
The woman in the silver dress reached down, trying to draw his attention back to her, her fingers brushing his jaw. But, Jungkook didn't even look at her. With a cold, dismissive flick of his wrist, he brushed her hand away, his focus entirely on you.
The silent, cross-room standoff was constricting. The music roared around you, and you were sure that your friends were already on the dance floor, but the space between your pillar and his booth felt completely devoid of air. You raised your chin, giving him a cold, defiant glare, refusing to look away first.
“Hey, beautiful. You look like you’re having a miserable time.”
The unfamiliar voice shattered the connection. A tall, well-dressed man in a fitted grey shirt had materialized in your space, leaning against the pillar beside you with a confident, practiced smile. He held a fresh drink out toward you. "Can I buy you something better than whatever that is?"
You blinked, trying to clear the fog of Jungkook’s gaze from your brain. "No, thank you. I'm okay with this drink" you said, your tone polite but icy.
The man didn't take the hint. He took a step closer, invading your personal space, his hand coming up to rest on the mirror just above your shoulder. "Come on, just one drink. A girl like you shouldn't be standing alone in a dark corner."
Before you could fire back a sharp rejection, a shift occurred in the atmosphere.
"She said no."
The man in the grey shirt froze, looking up slowly. Jungkook was standing there. He had somehow left the VIP section with a terrifying amount of speed, and the look on his face was enough to make the other man visibly pale. Jungkook loomed over you, his chest expanding with an angry breath, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark trousers.
"You got a problem, man?" the guy stammered, trying to maintain his bravado but failing miserably under Jungkook’s presence.
"Yeah," Jungkook replied, taking a slow step forward that forced the man back a foot. "I have a problem with you breathing my air. Walk away. Right now."
There was no negotiation in his tone. The man in the grey shirt looked between Jungkook’s ink-covered hands and the look in his eyes, swallowed hard, and retreated into the crowd without another word.
The moment he was gone, Jungkook turned on you.
The anger radiating off him was so strong it made your skin prickle with a terrifying sensation. Before you could speak, his large hand shot out, his ink-stained fingers gripping your wrist. His grip wasn't painful, but it was stubborn, completely unmoving as he dragged you away from the pillar, pulling you through the crowded venue toward the corridor that led to the private restrooms and emergency exits.
"Jungkook, let go of me!" you gasped, your heels clicking frantically against the floor as you tried to pull back, but it was like trying to move a mountain.
He didn't answer until he had dragged you into a secluded part of the hallway, away from the prying eyes of the club-goers. He shoved open a door, pulling you into a quiet stairwell where the music was reduced to a muffled heartbeat through the walls.
He released your wrist, turning around to face you, his chest lifting under the black shirt. He slammed his hand against the concrete wall beside your head, leaning down until his face was a mere inch from yours, trapping you entirely within the shadow of his body.
"What do you think you're doing?" he hissed, his jaw clenching so hard a muscle ticked violently beneath his skin. "You wear a dress like this out in public? You let random bastards back you into a corner?"
The hypocrisy of his anger made your own frustration explode. You pressed your palms against his chest, feeling the thud of his heart beneath the silk, trying to shove him back, but he didn't move an inch.
"I can wear whatever I want, Jungkook!" you shouted back, your eyes flashing with a mix of anger and desire. "I don't belong to you! Why don't you go back to your VIP booth? I'm sure the girl in the silver dress is missing her hand on your neck!"
Jungkook let out a scoff, his eyes dropping to your mouth before snapping back to your eyes, a possessive satisfaction flickering through the fury in his gaze.
"You were watching me," he whispered, his voice dropping into a rough tone that made your core pulse with heat. He stepped closer, his thighs brushing against the thin fabric of your dress, pinning you against the cold concrete wall. "You hated it. You hated seeing her touch me."
"I don't care about you," you lied, your breathing ragged, your fingers curling into the silk of his shirt. "I don’t care about the girls you’re always with.”
"You're a liar, Y/N," he growled, his hand leaving the wall to cup the side of your jaw, his rough, calloused thumb pressing firmly against your chin, tilting your head up. The contact was electric, a blinding rush that made your knees tremble. He leaned down, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, his hot breath sending a violent shiver down your spine. "You've been losing your mind over me all these months, just like I've been losing my mind over you. I look at you in this dress, and all I can think about is ripping it off your body."
"Then do it," the words slipped from your lips before your pride could stop them, a challenge born from months of agonizing restraint.
Jungkook froze, his breath hitching against your skin. He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his pupils completely dilated. He was waiting for consent, something that gave him the permission to touch you however he wanted. In response, you gave him an eyebrow raise, challenging him.
Jungkook didn’t answer with words. The last thread of his restraint snapped with a beautiful finality. Before you could even inhale, his mouth crashed down onto yours.
It was a violent claim, a collision of months of frustration and denial. He tasted like expensive whiskey and cigarettes, his tongue forcing its way past your mouth with a hunger that made your head spin. His hand clamped around your throat, with a firm pressure that moved your head against the wall, forcing you to take the absolute depth of his mouth.
You groaned into the kiss, your hands flying up to his chest, your fingers clawing at the silk of his shirt. You ripped at the other buttons, wanting the barrier gone, wanting the tattooed reality of his skin against yours. A few buttons scattered across the concrete floor with an echo, exposing the lines of his chest.
Jungkook tore his mouth away from yours, his breathing a broken wheeze. "You asked for this," he growled, whispering against your skin. "I’m not going to hold back now.”
He didn't even touch the zipper of your dress. His fingers hooked into the hem of the sleek black fabric and yanked it upward with an impatient force, gathering the material around your waist and leaving your bare legs completely exposed to the chilly air of the stairwell. His large hands slid up the inside of your thighs, his palms scraping against your sensitive skin.
When his hand hit the center of your lace underwear, he let out a satisfied chuckle. You were already dripping; the thin fabric completely soaked through.
"Look at you," Jungkook muttered, his thumb rubbing heavily over your swollen core through the wet lace, your hips arching off the wall. "Wet for me in a dirty stairwell. Tell me how much you hate me now, Y/N. Say it while you're shaking in my hands."
"Jungkook—fuck, please," you gasped, your fingers digging into the muscles of his shoulders as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and ripped them down your legs, discarding them carelessly on the concrete steps.
He stepped between your knees, his massive, denim-clad thighs forcing your legs wide apart. He fumbled with the belt of his trousers, the metal buckle clinking loudly in the quiet space. He shoved his pants down just enough to free his length, the sight of his thick cock already leaking with pre-cum sent adrenaline through your body.
Jungkook didn't ease you into it. He grabbed your right thigh, hoisting it up over his hip, holding you against his broad frame. He guided his tip to your dripping entrance, paused for a fraction of a second to lock his eyes onto yours, and pushed himself inside you.
The fullness of him stretched you open so fast that a loud moan tore from you. Your eyes widened in shock, your walls clamping around him, trying to accommodate the size of him. Jungkook froze, his head dropping into the crook of your neck as a shudder wracked his entire body. His jaw clenched so hard the muscles in his face ticked, a guttural groan vibrating right against your collarbone.
"Fuck," he panted, his voice a strained, broken sound. "You're so tight... Wrap your other leg around me. Now."
You obeyed blindly, your pride entirely incinerated by the rush of pleasure. You hooked your left leg around his waist, lifting yourself completely off the floor. Jungkook caught you effortlessly, his hands locking onto the undersides of your thighs, fingers digging into your flesh with a bruising touch that you were sure was going to leave dark marks on your skin.
With your legs wrapped around him, Jungkook began to move.
The pace was frenzied, driven by a rawness that had everything to do with possession. He pulled back until his tip was nearly sliding out, only to pound himself back into you with a slamming force that made the breath hitch in your chest. Every single thrust was deep, hitting your G-spot with precision that made your vision blur into white spots.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The sound of your skin slapping against his filled the isolated stairwell, competing with the muffled sound of the club’s bass.
"Jungkook, wait—it's too much," you sobbed out, your head tossing back against the concrete wall as your orgasm began to build. Your cunt was pulsing, the stretch of his big cock pushing you to the absolute brink of sanity.
"I'm not stopping," he growled, his pace quickening, his thrusts becoming harder and more accelerated. He leaned forward, crushing his bare chest against your sensitive nipples through the ruined fabric of your dress. He grabbed your jaw with his one hand, forcing your face up, his eyes burning into yours. "Look at me. Don't close your eyes. I want to see you come."
You held his gaze, your mind completely shattered. He was consuming you, erasing every single boundary you had spent months building.
The orgasm started deep within your core, a sudden tightening that clamped around his length like a fist.
"Jungkook—I'm coming—I'm going to—"
"Do it," he commanded, his voice breathless, his lips twisting into a smirk, as he delivered more desperate slams, driving his pelvis flush against yours. "Come for me, Y/N. Take all of it."
Your orgasm crashed over you with the violence of a physical hit. You screamed his name into the empty stairwell, your body convulsing, your walls rippling around him in intense waves. The sensation of your release was the exact breaking point Jungkook needed. With a moan, he drove himself into you one last time, pushing his cock as deeply as possible. His cock pulsed within your heat as he filled you, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he gasped for air like a drowning man.
The silence that followed was broken only by the loud, echoing sound of your tangled, ragged breathing.
Jungkook didn't let you down immediately. He remained buried deep inside you, his forehead resting against your shoulder, his skin slick with sweat, his heart hammering. His hands slowly relaxed their bruising grip on your thighs, his fingers gently tracing the marks he had left behind on your skin.
Slowly, the haze of lust began to leave, leaving behind a hyper-aware intimacy that felt completely foreign.
He pulled out with a soft, wet sound, a breathy sigh escaping his lips as he adjusted his clothing, his movements uncharacteristically quiet. He reached down, picking up your ruined underwear from the steps and sliding them into his pocket before turning back to look at you.
You were leaning against the wall, your dress still bunched around your waist, your chest heaving, your legs trembling so badly you could barely stand.
Jungkook didn't say a word. He reached out, his hands gently grasping the hem of your black dress and pulling it back down, smoothing the fabric over your hips with a tenderness that completely contrasted the violence of the last ten minutes. He reached up, a thumb gently wiping away a stray tear of overstimulation from your cheek, then he kissed your lips softly.
"Come on," Jungkook whispered, his voice still raspy, his fingers tangling with yours as he pulled you toward the exit door. "We're going home. And you're staying in my bed tonight."
The taxi ride back to the apartment was pure agony. His large palm was wedged between your thighs, his fingers damp with your own fluids, pressing hard against your swollen core every time the car hit a bump in the asphalt.
You had to bite the collar of his shirt to keep from crying out in the back seat, while Jungkook stared out the window, his jaw clenched so tight the wire of his jawline looked sharp enough to cut.
“Jungkook… I can’t—” you whispered against his collarbone, drool leaking out of your mouth. His fingers kept teasing your clit, ruthlessly edging you. You were convinced he just wanted to see you cry.
But before he could let you finish, the taxi stopped to a halt, right outside your apartment complex. The moment his apartment door slammed shut behind you, his restraint snapped again.
There was no walk to the bedroom. Jungkook grabbed your shoulders and spun you around, shoving you face-first against the matte-black kitchen island. Your palms slapped against the cold stone counter to catch your weight, your breath hitching as he immediately crowded your back, his massive, solid chest flattening against your spine.
"Jungkook—"
"Quiet," he growled, his voice a quiet rasp.
He didn't waste a single second. His hands hooked into the waist of your black dress, pulling the fabric up until it sat bunched around your ribs, leaving your lower body completely bare to his gaze. He reached down, grabbing your hips with a bruising grip, his thumbs digging into the soft flesh.
You heard the sharp snap of his belt loosening, the zipper of his trousers tearing open. He guided his cock right against your dripping pussy, rubbing his swollen tip against you twice until you were sobbing into the stone countertop, begging for the impact. With a tilt of his hips, Jungkook drove himself into you from behind.
He buried his entire length into your pussy in one deep thrust. The force of the entry rattled you, a loud, broken wail tearing from your throat. Your hips buckled under the weight, but his hands locked onto your waist like iron bands, holding you perfectly in place, forcing your body to take every single inch.
"Fuck, this pussy is so tight for me, my dirty slut," he whispered against the back of your neck, his breath scalding hot.
He began to pound into you with emphasis. Every stroke was a clapping impact of his pelvis against your ass, the sound echoing in the kitchen. He pulled out until only his tip remained inside your slick walls, then slammed back in, bottoming out against you with a force.
Your hands slid wildly on the smooth kitchen island, unable to find traction as his pace drove you forward with every thrust. Jungkook reached forward, his large hand tangling ruthlessly in your messy hair, pulling your head back so your spine arched beautifully into him.
"Look at the mirror," he commanded, nodding toward the reflective glass of his studio across the room. "Look at what I'm doing to you."
Through your blurred, tear-filled vision, you saw the silhouette of his body looming over yours, his tattooed right arm flexing as he pinned you down, the contrast of his dark ink against your skin. He thrusted harder, his cock rubbing against your internal sweet spot with every shallow strike until your brain short-circuited.
Before you could reach the precipice of an orgasm, Jungkook pulled out with a wet sound. You gasped at the emptiness, your body shivering from the loss of heat, but he wasn't done.
He grabbed your arm, dragging you off the counter and pulling you backward into his adjoining tattoo studio. The room was illuminated by the glow of his lights. He shoved you back against the floor-to-ceiling mirror that lined the wall, the cold glass sending a shockwave through your overheating skin.
Jungkook dropped to his knees before you.
Your breath caught as his hands clamped around your thighs, forcing them wide apart. He buried his face straight into your dripping core, lapping up your wetness with an aggression that made your head toss back against the glass. He sucked your swollen clit into his mouth, licking at the sensitive nub until you were screaming his name, your fingers clawing at his dark hair to pull him away before you lost your mind.
"Jungkook, please—no more, I can't—"
He ignored your pleas. He rose to his feet, his lips slick with your wetness. He looked completely unhinged, like something else had taken over him. He grabbed your right leg, hoisting it up and draping your knee over his broad shoulder, opening you up completely.
He aligned himself and drove back inside you, using the wall to pin you completely.
This position allowed him to go even deeper. Every thrust was a severe plunge that filled you to the brim. The cold glass of the mirror rattled behind your back with every slam of his hips. Jungkook’s hand locked around your throat again, his thumb pressing hard against your pulse point, just barely cutting off your air.
"You think you can look down on me?" he panted, his face inches from yours. "You think because you're stuck-up and perfect I wouldn't do this to you? You're mine, Y/N. Every single part of you."
"Yes—fuck, yes—Jungkook—"
The friction was blinding. You began to squeeze around him in spasms. Realizing you were about to come again, Jungkook pulled out at the last second, refusing to let you finish. You let out a frustrated cry, but he grabbed your waist, throwing you onto his leather tattoo table.
He crawled over you, forcing you onto your back. He grabbed both of your ankles, shoving your knees all the way back to your chest, folding you completely in half. It was a position of vulnerability, leaving you entirely exposed to him. He looked down at you, his chest glistening with sweat. He lined his tip up with your entrance and slammed down with the entire weight of his torso.
The depth was staggering. A loud sob tore from your throat as he filled you, his cock stretching you past your limits.
"Look at me," he growled, his voice a raw rasp.
He began to move in devastating strokes. He wasn't pulling out anymore; he was grinding his pelvis against yours, his thumb slipping against your clit with every drive. You locked your fingers into the leather edges of the table, your head rolling side to side as your entire body vibrated with a white-hot, blinding pleasure.
"Jungkook— please. Please, let me come!”
“Apologize first. Apologize for being a brat to me all these months. Tell me how badly you wanted my cock inside you.” he rasped, slapping your cheek.
Your head snapped to the side, the pain adding more intensity to your pleasure. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Jungkook! I wanted your cock so badly,” you cried out, tears cascading down your cheeks
"Good girl. Now come for me," he ordered, his pace getting faster, a sprint toward his orgasm. "Take it, baby. Take my cum."
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his lips down to yours as your second orgasm crashed over you with the force of a tsunami.
With a moan, Jungkook delivered more thrusts, before his cum flooded your pussy, filling you to the brim as he pulsed inside you over and over again, his forehead dropping against yours as you both collapsed into the ruined, sweat-soaked darkness of the studio.
The thuds of your hearts were the only sound left in the studio, a stark contrast to the music that usually filled the space. The heat radiating between your bodies was prominent as the initial shock of the orgasm began to leave. Jungkook remained above you for several long minutes, his forehead still pressed against yours, his breathing a ragged, trembling rattle that gradually slowed down.
When he finally shifted, pulling out of you with a soft, wet sound, a cold shiver immediately raced across your skin. You let out a small, involuntary whimper at the loss of warmth, your overstimulated muscles twitching.
Jungkook didn't say a word. The intensity that had consumed him moments ago seemed to evaporate, replaced by a stillness. He slid off the leather tattoo table, his bare feet hitting the floor with a soft thud. Through the dim light, you watched his silhouette move across the room. He looked entirely different now; the sharp edges of his posture had softened.
You heard the rustle of fabric, followed by the sound of running water from the small sink in the corner of his studio. You lay there, completely paralyzed by pleasure and exhaustion, your legs still trembling slightly against the leather surface. The reality of what had just happened began to settle into the marrow of your bones, leaving you feeling entirely exposed.
When Jungkook returned, he was holding a dark towel soaked in warm water. He knelt down beside the low table, his dark eyes fixed entirely on your face, searching your expression with an intensity that made your breath hitch. There was no smirk on his face. The arrogant, untouchable exterior he wore like armour was entirely gone.
"Hey," he whispered, his voice incredibly hoarse, "Let me clean you up."
Before you could even think to protest or hide yourself, he gently caught your ankles, straightening your legs out with a soft touch. He began to wipe away the sweat and the messy aftermath of his cum from your inner thighs. His hands, the same ones that had pinned you down, were now incredibly careful, moving with a light precision as if he were afraid you might break under his touch.
Every stroke of the warm towel sent a completely different kind of shiver through your body. It wasn't the white-hot spike of lust, but a deep, aching warmth that made your chest tighten.
"Does it hurt?" he asked quietly, his eyes flicking up to meet yours. His thumb brushed against the soft skin of your hip, right over the faint red marks where his grip had been bruisingly tight. "I went too hard."
"I'm fine," you breathed out, your voice small and raspy from all the moaning you had done. "I'm not glass, Jungkook."
A small, genuine breath of a laugh escaped his lips, though it looked more like a sigh of relief. He finished cleaning you, tossing the towel aside onto a nearby stool. Instead of stepping away, he reached down, sliding his arms beneath your back and knees, and lifted you effortlessly into his chest.
You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face into the crook of his collarbone. He smelled like sweat, but you secretly didn't mind. He carried you out of the studio, walking past the cold kitchen island where the war had officially begun, and carried you into his bedroom.
His bedroom was a surprise. Given his chaotic lifestyle, you had expected a disaster zone of discarded clothes and empty takeout containers. Instead, it was tidy, dominated by a massive bed covered in charcoal-grey silk sheets. The only light came from a lamp on the nightstand, casting a warm, golden glow across the room.
He laid you down onto the mattress with immense care, immediately pulling the duvet over your exposed, shivering skin. You curled into the bed, your eyes tracking him as he walked over to his dresser. He pulled out an oversized, faded black cotton t-shirt and returned to the bedside.
"Here," he murmured, pulling the blanket back just enough to help you slide your arms through the sleeves. The fabric was massive on you, hanging past your thighs and swallowing your frame, completely soaked with his scent.
Jungkook disappeared into his bathroom for a brief moment, returning after a quick second. He was wearing nothing but a loose pair of soft sweatpants, his dark hair damp and messy against his forehead. He didn't look like the menacing guy from apartment 4B anymore; he looked completely human, stripped of the bravado and the spite that had defined your entire relationship.
He slid into the bed beside you, the mattress dipping under his weight. For a moment, a lingering tension hung in the air. You were both so used to fighting, so used to using words as weapons across the threshold of your doors, that the quiet intimacy of a shared bed felt foreign and dangerous.
You lay on your side, staring at him. He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his jaw working as if he were trying to swallow a mountain of unspoken words.
"Y/N," he started, his voice cracking slightly in the quiet room. He turned his head to look at you, his dark eyes wide and completely unmasked under the amber light. "I need to say something."
You didn't interrupt. You just pulled the blanket higher up on your chin, watching him.
"I'm sorry," he said, the words coming out in a rush. He reached out under the covers, his large hand finding yours and wrapping his fingers securely around your smaller ones. "I'm sorry for the things I said, and everything else I've done. I was... I was entirely out of my mind."
He let out a long, ragged breath, his grip on your hand tightening.
"I've been losing my mind since the day I met you," Jungkook confessed, his gaze dropping to your intertwined fingers before rising back to your eyes. "You thought I was trying to annoy you with the music and the girls, and at first, I was just being a complete asshole. But after that first night you knocked on my door, when you were standing there looking so furious and so completely out of my league, everything changed. I didn't know how to get your attention.”
A soft smile touched his lips, though his eyes remained entirely serious. "I just wanted an excuse to see you come back to my door and yell at me again. Because any attention from you was better than you looking right through me."
Your heart did a violent flip in your chest. The honesty of his words was breaking down every defence mechanism you had spent months building.
"You called me a brat," you whispered softly, your voice completely devoid of the old malice. "You told me I was stuck-up."
"Because you’re so perfect, and it terrified me," Jungkook replied instantly, leaning closer until his face was only inches from yours on the pillow. "You have your life together. You have the career, the structure. I convinced myself that you looked down on me because it was easier than admitting that I was completely beneath you."
He reached his free hand out from beneath the covers, his fingertips gently brushing against your cheek, tracing the line of your jaw with a tenderness that made your eyes prickle with tears.
"But I don't want to fight with you anymore, Princess," he murmured, his voice dropping into a soft, vulnerable register that felt like a direct caress to your soul. "I don't want to hear you through a wall anymore. I love you. I think I’ve loved you since the second you told me to shut the hell up months ago."
The confession hung in the quiet space between you, heavy and beautiful. You stared at him, taking in the softness of his eyes, the absolute sincerity in his features, and the slight tremor in his hand as it rested against your face. He was completely exposed, giving you all the power to crush him if you wanted to.
But you didn't want to.
"I'm sorry too," you whispered, a small, tearful laugh escaping your lips as you moved your head to press your cheek firmly into his palm. "I was stuck-up. I looked down on your world because I was jealous of how free you were. I spent so much time hiding behind my schedules and work because admitting that I wanted something would mean admitting that I didn't have everything under control."
You reached up, your fingers tangling into the damp strands of his dark hair, pulling him just a fraction closer.
"I don't hate anything about you,” you confessed softly. "I love you too. I’ve been entirely miserable without you."
The relief that washed over Jungkook’s face was instantaneous and breathtaking. A massive, brilliant smile broke across his face, the boyish, dazzling smile he usually hid behind his arrogant smirks. He let out a joyous sigh , immediately throwing himself at you, covering your body with his.
"Say it again," he demanded, his voice thick with happiness as he buried his face into your neck, peppering your skin with soft, fluttering kisses.
"I love you, you idiot," you laughed, your hands gripping his shoulders as he rolled over, pulling you with him until you were lying flush against his chest, your heads resting on the same pillow.
"Good. Because you're stuck with me now," he muttered against your lips, before pulling you into a kiss. It was sweet, and incredibly deep, a gentle sealing of a contract you had both been waiting to sign for months.
When he finally pulled away, he wrapped his massive arms securely around your waist, pulling your back flush against his chest in a tight, protective cocoon. His long legs tangled with yours under the silk sheets, his chin resting comfortably on the top of your head.
"The wall has to go," Jungkook murmured sleepily into your hair, his large hand gently stroking your stomach over the cotton of his t-shirt. "First thing Monday morning. I'm calling a contractor to knock the drywall down between 4A and 4B."
"We'll get evicted, Jungkook," you mumbled back, a soft, exhausted smile spreading across your face as your sleep deprivation finally caught up to you.
"Let them evict us," he whispered, his breathing slowing down as he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, his heart beating a steady, reassuring rhythm against your shoulder blades. "We'll just buy the whole damn building."
The wall didn’t come down on Monday morning, mostly because the building management threatened legal action at the mere mention of a sledgehammer, but the physical barrier between apartment 4A and 4B was entirely gone anyway.
Within a week, the deadbolt on your front door remained permanently unlocked. Within three, your living room began to acquire a few distinct artifacts, such as a stray sketch pad filled with intricate charcoal drawings of you resting on your glass coffee table, a pair of combat boots left neatly by your shoe rack, and a continuous, subtle scent of raw tobacco and expensive leather that no longer felt like an invasion, but more like a safety net.
On a hazy evening in July, the heat outside was horrible, but inside apartment 4A, the air conditioning was humming a quiet tune. You were sitting cross-legged on your sofa, a laptop resting on your thighs as you meticulously reviewed the upcoming budget projections. Your glasses were pushed up onto the bridge of your nose, your focus entirely ironclad.
Or, at least, it was supposed to be.
From the other side of the apartment, the door clicked open. You didn't even look up, your fingers continuing to fly across the keyboard, but your heart rate gave a familiar, stupid little skip.
A moment later, Jungkook stepped into your living room. He had just finished an eight-hour tattooing session, and he looked beautifully, completely wrecked. He had shed his shirt, wearing only a loose, sleeveless white tank top that exposed the sprawling canvas of his right arm and the blackwork wrapping around his ribs.
He didn't say a word. He didn't need to. He walked straight toward the couch, his heavy footsteps silent on your plush rug, and dropped his massive frame directly behind you.
"Jungkook, I’m working," you murmured in a breathless, soft tone.
"Don't care," he grumbled, his voice a gravelly vibration that resonated right through your spine.
His large, tattooed arms wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you backward until your spine was pressed flush against his warm, solid torso. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, his nose nuzzling against your pulse point, inhaling deeply. His breath was hot against your skin, sending a delicate flush up your throat.
"You smell like vanilla," he muttered, his lips brushing against your collarbone as he spoke. "It's driving me crazy."
"It's just perfume, you dramatic idiot," you laughed softly, tilting your head to the side to give him better access, your fingers finally halting over the laptop keys. "And I really need to finish this report. My boss is—"
"Your boss can wait," Jungkook interrupted, his hand moving beneath the hem of your oversized sweatshirt, his palm resting against the bare skin of your stomach. His thumb traced slow, soothing circles over your skin, his touch so incredibly gentle it made your chest ache. "You’ve been staring at that screen for hours. Let me take care of you."
You let out a long, defeated sigh, closing the laptop and setting it aside on the cushion. The moment the screen went dark, you turned around in his embrace, shifting until you were sitting face-to-face in his lap, your knees framing his hips.
Jungkook’s eyes instantly locked onto yours, the light from your lamp reflecting in his pupils. The lazy, arrogant smirk he used to wear like armor was completely gone, replaced by an expression of pure, unadulterated adoration that still made you feel entirely exposed. He reached up, his thumb gently pushing your reading glasses down the bridge of your nose before sliding them off entirely, setting them on the sofa arm.
"There you are," he whispered, his rough fingers cupping your jawline, his thumb smoothing over your cheekbone. "I missed you today."
"I was right next door," you pointed out, a small smile tugging at your lips as you reached up to tangle your fingers in the soft, damp strands of his hair. "I could literally hear your tattoo machine vibrating through the drywall at 2 PM."
"Yeah, well, hearing you through a wall isn't the same as holding you," he murmured, his gaze dropping to your lips. "I kept thinking about how much I wanted to walk out of the apartment, and drag you into my bed. I’m completely ruined, Y/N. You've completely ruined me."
"Good," you whispered, leaning in until your lips were a mere breath away from his. "You deserve it for making my life a living hell for months."
Jungkook let out a low, breathless chuckle against your mouth before he closed the distance. The kiss was filled with a domestic warmth that belonged entirely to the two of you. There was no rush, no desperate battle for dominance, just the steady pull of two people. His hands slid down to your lower back, pressing you closer until there was no space left between you, his heart beating a strong, steady rhythm against your chest.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breathing a little shallow.
"I bought dinner," he murmured, his eyes still closed as his thumbs traced the line of your jaw. "That little noodle place you like down the street. It’s sitting on my kitchen counter."
"You remembered?" you teased, shifting your weight slightly in his lap.
"I remember everything about you," he corrected softly, opening his eyes to look at you with a terrifying amount of certainty. "I know you take your coffee with too much milk, I know you organize your closet by colour, and I know that when you're stressed, you bite the inside of your lip until it bleeds. I'm paying attention, baby. I'm always paying attention."
His words made your throat tight, warmth expanding in your chest. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder, holding onto him as if he were the only solid thing left in the universe.
"Come on," Jungkook whispered, shifting under you as he easily hoisted your body into his arms, keeping you tucked securely against his chest as he stood up from the sofa. "Let's go eat. And then I’m dragging you to bed, and you're going to let me sleep for twelve hours straight."
"Only if you promise not to play music at 3 AM," you mumbled into his neck as he carried you across the threshold into his apartment.
Jungkook kicked his front door shut behind him, the click of the lock echoing in the quiet hallway. He looked down at you, his bunny teeth showing as he smiled.
"Deal, Princess," he murmured, kissing your temple softly. "From now on, the only noise in this apartment is going to be you."
First of my glass animal mask series! This was so fun to paint, what other animals should I try? So far I'm thinking owl and deer for a woodland theme🦊🦉🦌
This painting and more have just been added as a print to my webshop :)
↳ summary: ten years of platonic safety, completely incinerated over cold kitchen marble. a frantic morning-after argument about a drunken confession turns into a dangerous game of chicken. you think you're being the smart one, desperately trying to protect a decade-long friendship from total wreckage—until a single, devastating kiss proves that neither of you can afford to stay just friends anymore.
↳ friends to lovers!au;
↳ pairing: idol!jeongguk x f!reader
↳ warnings: shameless smut, heavy praise and unprotected oral. features a completely undone, whiny, and pathetically submissive jeongguk who is brought entirely to his knees, begging for a taste before fucking you through his own overstimulation. brace yourselves........ :)
↳ word count: 13.1 k
a/n: this is actually my first ever request. here is the the original ask! the person who requested didn't reply anymore, so i took it upon myself to just run with it—yay for creative freedom and what not. hopefully i delivered question mark?
i’m a bit anxious about this ngl since it is a bit out of my comfort area so please lmk your thoughts :')
we absolutely love subkoo propaganda in this house. though i must admit, i could've made him even more sub, but baby steps am i right?
—
ONE SHOT
STARRING JEONGGUK
You’re very good at making bad decisions.
You and Jeongguk have been friends for a very long time. Platonic friends, of course. The kind of bond forged in the messy, unfiltered trenches of youth long before the rest of the world decided he belonged to them.
You remember every single time he’s been there for you, steady as an anchor. He was the one who sat on the kitchen counter at three in the morning, quietly listening to you cry over a brutal breakup, holding the pint of melting ice cream while you ranted. He was the one who dragged his exhausted body out of bed in the dead of winter just to jump-start your dead car battery, completely uncomplaining as his hands turned bright red in the freezing air. When you failed that massive university exam, he didn't offer empty platitudes; he just showed up at your door with a bag of cheap convenience store snacks and your favorite video game, sitting in silence with you until the heavy cloud in your chest lifted.
And you’ve been there for him just as fiercely. You were the one who held his hair back in a cramped, dimly lit bathroom after he drank way too much at a party, rubbing his back while he muttered pathetic apologies. You were the one who helped him pack up his entire life into mismatched cardboard boxes when he finally left his small hometown, taping the edges shut while he nervously paced the room. You even let him experiment on you with a box of cheap, questionable hair dye on a random Tuesday, resulting in a green-stained forehead and a frantic midnight run to a 24-hour pharmacy, laughing so hard your stomachs ached in the fluorescent aisles.
However, you didn't take into account that he would get famous at some point. Obviously, he had all the cards to do so, you weren't blind.
He’s attractive. He’s sweet. He has a good heart that bleeds through everything he touches.
And then there are the physical realities you've forced yourself to ignore for years. He has impeccable, impeccable hands—veiny, strong, and large enough to completely swallow yours. He has a fiercely toned body, hardened by years of relentless dance practice and gym sessions, a sharp contrast to the gentle soul inside him. And, of course, those sweet, round eyes you melt for every single time he looks up at you, completely disarming whatever defenses you try to build.
So when he texted you saying he was back home for a little while before heading out on the massive world tour again, of course you said yes.
Why would you not? He was your best friend.
Except you completely forgot that during his brief stints of downtime, Jeongguk had a tendency to pick up hyper-fixated new hobbies. Which is exactly how you found yourself standing in the doorway of his private garage, completely frozen.
He was entirely underneath the chassis of a sleek, vintage car, legs sprawling out across the concrete floor. He was straining against a stubborn bolt, and the physical effort caused his dark t-shirt to ride up drastically, exposing a wide strip of his lower abdomen.
Your eyes trapped themselves right there, staring directly at his happy trail. It was a sharp, dark line of hair cutting perfectly across his toned stomach, disappearing straight into the low waistband of his grey sweatpants.
Avert your gaze? Maybe you should. You absolutely had to.
Instead, a stray, dangerous thought crossed your mind, wondering exactly where that trail led and if it really was a happy place. You would certainly guess so, taking into account the sheer volume of women who willingly flung themselves at him daily on global television.
Jeongguk, meanwhile, was acutely aware of the shift in the room's atmosphere the second you walked in. From his vantage point beneath the metal frame, he heard your footsteps halt. He could feel the phantom heat of your eyes burning into his exposed skin. His heart did a violent flip in his chest, his fingers tightening around his wrench. He purposely stayed still for a beat longer than necessary, his breath hitching, secretly thrilled by the weight of your undivided attention.
To break the suffocating silence, you finally spoke, semi-yelling over the clinking of his tools, "Yo! Koo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Hearing your voice, Jeongguk finally kicked against the floor, sliding himself out from under the car on his mechanic's creeper.
When he fully emerged, the sight of him made your throat go completely dry. He had grease smudged across his jaw, a dirty shirt clinging to his frame, and a sweaty forehead. A few moist, dark hair strands were sticking directly to his skin, and the tiny silver hoop of his lip piercing glinted sharply in the garage lighting.
You gulped. Hard. Maybe it was just because you hadn't seen him in a while, or maybe it was because the platonic shield you usually wore was rapidly cracking to pieces.
Jeongguk blinked up at you, tracking the slight bob of your throat as you swallowed. A quiet wave of satisfaction washed over him, melting his internal nerves into something warm and soft. He let his head fall back slightly, looking up at you through his lashes with the sweetest, most innocent smile he could muster.
"Hi," he replied softly, his voice a low, raspy rumble that did absolutely nothing to help your racing pulse.
He laughed, a bright, breathless sound, and stepped toward you with his arms wide open. It was clear he wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around you after being separated by a massive ocean for months, but you immediately took a sharp step back, hands raised in a defensive barrier.
"Don't even think about it," you warned, eyeing the black grease smudged across his arms. "I am not getting engine oil all over my clothes."
Jeongguk paused, his arms still half-extended, his lips pouting into a familiar, dramatic frown. "So?" he asked, tilting his head with an entitled little whine. "It's just a shirt. I haven't seen you in forever."
Before you could reiterate that you actually liked your outfit, he reached down, gripped the hem of his dark t-shirt, and pulled it over his head in one fluid, practiced motion. Your breath caught awkwardly in your throat. Now, the toned lines of his chest and abdomen were fully on display, glistening with a light sheen of sweat under the garage lights. He didn't even seem to notice your sudden internal panic as he casually crumpled the expensive fabric into a ball, using it as a makeshift rag to roughly wipe the grease off his hands.
Tossing the ruined shirt onto a nearby tool stool, he stepped right back into your space. "Better?" he murmured, a cheeky, triumphant grin spreading across his face before he locked his bare, warm arms securely around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
You let out a defeated sigh, but you didn't pull away. You hugged him back, burying your face against the warm crook of his shoulder, the familiar, comforting scent of him cutting right through the sharp smell of gasoline and metal.
If you were being 100% honest with yourself, you did have a crush on him. You had been harboring a crush on him for a very long time.
You just never vocalized it. To you, it was always safer to remain a constant, unshakeable variable in his chaotic life rather than risk ruining something so irreplaceable. All of his past relationships had eventually crashed and burned, a pattern that only grew worse once global fame started violently colliding with his love life and relentless schedules. You had absolutely no intention of losing Jeongguk to a stupid, juvenile crush you’d developed nearly ten years ago—all because he’d sweetly given you his last cherry popsicle on a scorching summer afternoon.
Jeongguk squeezed you a little tighter before finally releasing you, though his hands lingered on your arms for a beat too long. "I want to throw a party tonight," he announced, his round eyes shining with genuine excitement as he swiped a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "Just like old times. I want to actually have fun without a million eyes on me."
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "Oh? Tell me about it. Who are we inviting?"
"Only old friends," he said instantly, his tone turning protective. "Nobody new. Nobody with a hidden motive or a vendetta. Just the people who knew me before... all of this."
You smirked, a teasing glint in your eyes as you nudged his bare shoulder. "What, so you didn't bring any international flings home with you in first class?"
Jeongguk let out a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "No way. I'm going girl-sober for a while. Women completely fuck up my senses."
He wasn't lying, and you knew it. Jeongguk was a hopeless, unapologetic serial romantic. He was a boy who loved with his entire soul, completely incapable of doing anything casual even if his life depended on it. It was his ultimate Achilles' heel. He wore his heart so openly on his sleeve, entirely defenseless, and people always seemed to have other, more transactional plans for it.
"Girl-sober, huh?" you echoed, trying to ignore the sudden, dangerous flutter in your stomach at his words. "Let's see how long that actually lasts."
"Oh, it will last," Jeongguk said, his tone dropping into a quieter, more deliberate register as he looked down at you. "You'll make sure of it."
You blinked, momentarily losing your train of thought as your eyes tracked a stray bead of sweat rolling down his collarbone. "Pardon?"
"You’re the only one I can trust with my heart right now," he explained smoothly, a completely earnest, unguarded look washing over his features. He stepped a fraction closer, the heat radiating off his bare chest practically enveloping you. "So, yes. You. Making sure no one is hurting your super hot friend."
Your knees almost buckled right there on the oil-stained concrete.
Super hot?
Did he just casually drop that into conversation like he hadn't spent the last ten years being your dorky, platonic sidekick? Before you could even formulate a coherent response, Jeongguk caught the sudden shock on your face. A playful, slightly teasing glint sparked in his dark eyes, his lips tilting up at the corners.
"Am I not?" he challenged softly, tilting his head as if genuinely waiting for your assessment.
You swallowed hard, your mind scrambling to put the platonic walls back up before he noticed how fast your heart was beating. "I plead the fifth."
Jeongguk let out a breathy, dramatic groan, throwing his head back before looking down at you through his lashes. "God, Y/N, you’re so dramatic. I can openly say you’re hot."
Your brain completely short-circuited. "Sorry?"
"What?" He shrugged his shoulders, completely unfazed by the bomb he’d just dropped in the middle of his garage. "It’s not like it’s federal information. You’re attractive, I’m attractive. You should be able to speak open truths."
You gulped again, the sound loud in your own ears as you looked anywhere but at the hard lines of his chest. "Fine," you grumbled, forcing the words past your lips like a confession under interrogation. "You’re hot. Happy?"
Jeongguk’s playful smirk instantly vanished, replaced by a dramatic, exaggerated pout. He whined, the sound high and petulant, as he crossed his arms over his chest. "No, see? Now I don't even want it anymore if you don't actually believe it."
You let out a sharp scoff, throwing your hands up in disbelief. "Where the hell is that coming from?"
"I'm serious," he insisted, his voice dropping into a quieter, more vulnerable register. He stepped a fraction closer, his shoes almost touching the tips of yours. He looked down at you, completely stripped of his usual idol persona. "I don't want you to say things just because I want to hear them. I have enough people in my life for that,Y/N. Millions of them. I don't need it from you."
The sudden, raw honesty of his words hit you like a physical weight. You looked up, meeting his gaze, and swear his eyes just got ten times more sparkly and round, shimmering with a sudden, intense vulnerability.
He was practically vibrating with the unspoken urge to be perceived, truly perceived, by the only person whose opinion actually mattered to him.
The platonic armor you’d spent so long building suddenly felt paper-thin. You let out a soft sigh, reaching out to gently tap his bare chest, right over his racing heart.
"Jeongguk," you said, your voice softening, holding his gaze so he knew you meant it. "You're hot. I'm not just saying it."
The second the words left your mouth, the heavy tension broke. A massive, radiant grin split across his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners into those familiar, endearing crescent shapes.
"Thank you," he sang out in a sweet, sing-song voice, practically beaming as he swayed his shoulders from side to side like a praised toddler. The transition from a brooding, shirtless man to a needy, praise-hungry boy was so fast it made your head spin, leaving you entirely at the mercy of whatever games he was playing with your heart.
You spent the whole afternoon prepping for the said party. You were beyond glad for his shiny black card, which you used with zero remorse. It could buy the good alcohol—the top-shelf stuff his agency normally rationed him on—along with an obscene mountain of incredible snacks that you knew you would half-demolish before the guests even knocked on the door. You had bags of high-end chips, imported chocolates, and savory finger foods piled high on his marble kitchen counters, casually stealing a handful of pretzels every time you walked by.
His apartment was massive, but it was also quite dark. He had a penchant for heavy, blackout curtains and moody industrial architecture, and you laughed a ton when you tried to string up some extra LED lights around the living room and hallways. You muttered to yourself while balancing on a stool, desperately trying to ensure people wouldn't step on each other's toes in the pitch-black tomb of his very boy-coded apartment.
It was a chaotic mix of state-of-the-art gaming rigs, massive speakers, random workout equipment in the corner, and a giant plush couch that screamed bachelor pad.
His bedroom, however, was strictly off-limits. Locked and closed for the public.
As you passed the heavy wood door on your way to the bathroom, you paused. You hadn't been inside his room in a long way, and your mind naturally began to wander, curiosity pricking at your chest. You started to wonder how it had changed from the last time you were there, back when it was just a messy pile of clothes and a mattress on the floor. Now, as even a more famous star than he was at the start, did he have silk sheets? A massive canopy bed?
More dangerously, you started to wonder what women had seen those sheets. Which faces had looked up at him in the dark?
At last, you forcefully pushed the burning thought aside, shaking your head to clear the sudden spike of jealousy. It didn't matter. You had a job to do, and besides, the guests were finally starting to arrive.
The heavy front door clicked open, and the quiet tomb of his apartment was instantly flooded with chatter and laughter as his oldest childhood friends spilled into the entryway. Jeongguk was already standing by the kitchen island, the grease long washed from his skin, replaced by a soft, oversized black sweater and a fresh scent. He’d clearly been anticipating the social buffering, because by the time the first three people crossed the threshold, Jeongguk had already thrown back two heavy shots of tequila.
His round eyes were already bright and crinkling with a loose, alcohol-fueled warmth.
Throwing his hands into the air, his silver lip piercing catching the glow of the newly strung lights, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "Welcome, party people!"
The room erupted into cheers, his friends rushing forward to swarm him, throwing arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him into a chaotic huddle of loud greetings and deep belly laughs. From across the room, you leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him instantly dissolve back into the boy he used to be, completely shielded from the crushing weight of his global fame by the people who loved him first.
The party shifted into high gear with the easy, unpretentious noise of people who had nothing to prove to each other. In the hazy glow of the blue and purple lights, the living room felt less like a celebrity’s multi-million dollar fortress and more like a time capsule.
"I’m just saying," Jin-woo, one of Jeongguk’s oldest friends from his hometown, gestured wildly with a half-eaten chip, "If a zombie apocalypse happens right now, Koo is the first to die. He’s too polite. He’d try to bow to a zombie before kicking it."
"No way!" Jeongguk protested, his voice a little too loud, a little too slurred as he leaned heavily against the back of the plush couch. He poured himself another shot of tequila, his hand shaking just enough that a few drops splashed onto his knuckles. "I have muscle memory now. I’d do a 360-kick. Boom. Dead zombie."
"You'd cry if you got blood on your designer shoes," you chimed in from the kitchen island, swirling the ice cubes in your cup.
Jeongguk’s head snapped toward you instantly. His sweet, round eyes were heavily hooded, a dark, glossy sheen over them as he tracked your movement. A soft, lazy smile spread across his face, his silver lip piercing catching the strobe of the lights. "Y/N... you’re supposed to be on my side. Always."
"I am on your side. I'm just realistic," you laughed, taking a slow sip.
You were barely on your second glass of vodka cranberry, the tart liquid still mostly full as you paced yourself. You had to. Someone needed to keep an eye on the house, and more importantly, someone needed to keep an eye on him.
Jeongguk, on the other hand, was throwing them back like water. The pressure of the upcoming tour, the suffocating nature of his daily life—it was all bleeding out of him in the form of liquid courage. He was drinking to forget the idol.
An hour later, the loud, stupid arguments dissolved into the inevitable late-night deep talk. Three of his friends were sprawled on the floor, debating the existence of aliens, while Jin-woo had moved onto the balcony for a smoke.
Jeongguk somehow navigated his way over to you, his shoulders bumping into yours as he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter. He smelled like expensive cologne and sharp alcohol.
"You're barely drinking," he murmured, his voice dropping into that low, raspy rumble that always made your stomach do backflips. He reached out, his large hand wrapping around your wrist, his thumb casually brushing against your pulse point. His touch was warm, heavy, and intentionally lingering.
"Someone has to make sure you don't break your own furniture," you teased gently, though your heart was suddenly hammering against your ribs. "How many shots is that now? Five? Six?"
"Doesn't matter," he whispered, stepping a fraction closer, completely ignoring the chatter of his friends just twenty feet away. He looked down at you, his large eyes shimmering under the dim kitchen lights. "Everything feels... too loud out there, Y/N. But when I look at you, it stops."
Your breath hitched.
"Jeongguk, you're drunk," you whispered back, trying to maintain the boundary, trying not to let your ten-year-old crush completely take over.
"I am," he admitted softly, his grip on your wrist tightening just a fraction as he leaned his forehead down, almost touching your shoulder. It was that physical surrender again—putting himself entirely in your space, begging you without words to hold him together. "But I'm only brave when the sun goes down. You know that. Stay 'til sunrise. Please."
"Fine," you sighed, trying to ignore the frantic pounding in your chest as you gently patted his broad, sweater-clad shoulder. "But you’re taking the couch tonight, Koo. I’m not carrying you anywhere."
A soft, breathy laugh left his throat, and before you could even brace yourself, Jeongguk leaned in. He pressed his lips firmly against your temple, a lingering, warm pressure that smelled faintly of tequila and mint. "Thank you," he murmured against your skin, a string of another quiet, drunken thank yous spilling out of his mouth as he finally pulled back.
You stood there, entirely frozen, your brain struggling to process how to function normally. Those sweet, tactile gestures of his had remained exactly the same over the last decade. It was just a temple kiss. It was the kind of thing he’d done a hundred times when you were younger, yet now, with his shoulders framing you and his deep voice vibrating in his chest, it rattled you down to your very core.
Before you could spiral any further into your own head, Hana—one of Jin-woo’s louder cousins who had tagged along—yelled from the living room floor, clapping her hands together to get everyone's attention.
"Hey! Enough with the alien talk," Hana shouted, swirling the ice in her cup. "We should play something actually fun. Like truth or dare... or better yet, truth or drink!"
The room instantly erupted into murmurs of agreement, but nobody moved faster than Jeongguk. His face lit up, his round eyes wide and sparkling under the blue LED's as he practically jumped at the opportunity to drink more.
"Truth or drink," Jeongguk cheered, his voice loose and excited as he pushed off the kitchen counter. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of top-shelf tequila by the neck, giving you a quick, triumphant look over his shoulder. "Yes. Let's do it. I'm choosing drink every single damn time, I don't care."
He stumbled slightly as he made his way to the center of the room, dropping heavily onto the plush rug right in the middle of the circle, looking up at everyone like a kid waiting for a game to start. He was already so completely undone, and as you walked over to join the circle with your barely touched vodka cranberry, a sudden, heavy wave of anticipation settled deep in your stomach.
You knew exactly how Jeongguk played games when he was like this. He was honest to a fault, but tonight, with the alcohol running warm through his veins he might start being too honest.
The bottle of tequila sat right in the center of the hardwood floor, spinning rapidly under the flashing lights until it slowed down, its neck pointing directly at Jin-woo.
"Alright, alright," Jin-woo grinned, leaning forward on his knees. He looked across the circle at Jeongguk, who was sitting cross-legged, a little loopy, swaying slightly to the music. "Koo. First round. Truth or drink. What is the absolute worst thing about being a global superstar? Give us the real dirt."
You expected Jeongguk to reach for his cup immediately. His agency spent millions of dollars training him to handle questions like this with perfectly polished, diplomatic answers. Instead, Jeongguk just let out a soft, hazy laugh, his eyes dropping to his hands.
"The loneliness," he said, the sheer honesty of his voice cutting right through the lighthearted party atmosphere. The circle went quiet. Jeongguk looked up, his round eyes wide and entirely undisguised by his usual idol armor. "You think you're surrounded by the world, but when the stage lights go off, you're just sitting alone in a sterile hotel room in a country where you don't speak the language, wondering if anyone actually misses you, or if they just miss the guy on the posters. It's suffocating."
A collective, sympathetic hum went around the room. Jin-woo blinked, clearly not expecting him to drop something so heavy in the first five minutes. You felt a familiar twist of pain in your chest, your eyes softening as you looked at him. Jeongguk didn't take a sip, he just gave a tiny, vulnerable shrug, completely comfortable laying his soul bare in front of the people who knew him before the fame.
Hana spun the bottle next. It whirled around before grinding to a halt, pointing straight back at Jeongguk.
"Oh, my turn," Hana perked up, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Okay, Jeongguk. You said earlier today that you're 'girl-sober' right now. So tell the truth: when was the last time you actually kissed someone, and did it mean anything?"
You held your breath, your fingers tightening around your glass of vodka cranberry.
Jeongguk tilted his head back against the edge of the couch behind him, a slow, lazy smile spreading across his face. He didn't even reach for the tequila bottle. "Two years ago," he stated bluntly, his voice a low, raspy rumble. "A girl I met during a break between promotions. And no, it didn't mean anything. That was the problem. I tried to make it mean something because I hate casual stuff, but she just wanted to tell her friends she was dating an idol. It felt transactional. I hated it."
"Damn," Hana muttered, taking a drink of her own beer out of pure secondhand awkwardness. "You're really not holding back tonight, are you?"
"I told you," Jeongguk murmured, his dark, glossy eyes suddenly shifting across the circle until they locked directly onto yours. "I don't want to say fake things tonight. I'm tired of it."
Before the heavy silence following Jeongguk’s sudden drink can completely suffocate the room, Jin-woo quickly reaches out and gives the glass bottle another aggressive spin. It whirs sharply on the hardwood floor, a blur of green glass under the flashing blue lights, before slowing down and pointing its cap directly at you.
"Oh, finally! The spotlight shifts," Hana cheers, leaning forward on her elbows with a wicked, deeply intrigued grin. She doesn't hesitate for a second. "Okay, Y/N. Truth or drink. We all know you're fiercely independent in your daily life, but does that translate to the bedroom? Are you the type who likes to be completely in charge, calling all the shots, or do you prefer to submit?"
Your heart does a violent, erratic leap against your ribs. Out of the corner of your eye, you feel Jeongguk freeze.
You slowly turn your head to look at him, and the sheer intensity of his gaze almost makes you gasp. His sweet, round eyes are completely dark, his pupils blown so wide they nearly swallow the irises. He’s staring at your lips, his chest heaving under his oversized black sweater, practically vibrating with a sudden, suffocating hunger. He looks entirely undone by the question, his lips parting slightly as he waits for your answer with a desperate, breathless anticipation.
You clear your throat, forcing your voice to remain steady. "I think prefer being in charge," you reply, keeping it blunt and confident. "I like the feeling of control."
A low, collective “Ooooooh” ripples through the circle of friends, but you barely hear them. The absolute heat of Jeongguk’s unblinking stare is burning into your skin, making your throat go completely dry. Even though you answered the truth, you desperately need a distraction, so you lift your glass of vodka cranberry and take a heavy, long sip, letting the tart alcohol burn away the sudden spike of nerves.
"Knew it!" Hana laughs loudly, raising her cup to you in approval. "A total boss. Honestly, whoever ends up in your bed is a lucky bastard."
Hana grabs the bottle next, giving it a careless flick to keep the game moving. It spins and lands right back on her. Jin-woo immediately jumps in with a smirk. "Alright, Hana, truth or drink: Is it true you secretly cried when your ex got a matching tattoo with his new girlfriend?" Hana gasps, throwing a couch pillow directly at his face before grabbing her beer. "Shut up! I'm drinking, I am absolutely drinking for that one," she groans, chugging a massive gulp while everyone erupts into loud, teasing laughter.
The distraction gives you a brief moment to breathe, but when you glance back at Jeongguk, he hasn't moved an inch. He is still looking up at you from his spot on the floor, his silver lip piercing glinting.
The bottle gets spun again, whirring lazily until it grinds to a halt, pointing directly at another childhood friend, Jisung.
Jisung groans, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah, man. Go easy on me. I've had a rough week."
Seojun leans forward, a thoughtful expression replacing his usual mischievous grin as the atmosphere shifts back into something a bit deeper. "Alright, Jisung. Real talk. Truth or drink: Since we're all getting older and life is pulling us in different directions, do you ever feel like you're getting left behind by the rest of us?"
Jisung sighs, a sad, honest smile touching his lips as he looks around the circle, his eyes briefly lingering on Jeongguk’s massive, luxurious apartment. "Yeah," Jisung admits softly, his voice quiet against the background music. "Sometimes it's hard. Like, I'm so incredibly proud of Koo, and I love seeing all of you succeed, but looking at my own nine-to-five... it makes me feel like I'm standing still while everyone else is running. It's a weird kind of pressure."
"Dude, no," Jeongguk speaks up instantly, his raspy voice full of genuine affection. He leans forward, completely breaking the circle's boundary to grab Jisung’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly with his hand. "Don't ever think that. None of this fame stuff matters if I don't have you guys to come home to. You're not left behind. You're exactly where you need to be."
Jisung smiles, visibly touched, and raises his glass to clink it against Jeongguk's tequila bottle. The warmth of their old friendship fills the room, but as Jeongguk pulls his hand back, his dark, heavy eyes slide right back to yours.
The rest of the party continued in a hazy blur of slurred words, loud, nostalgic belly laughs, and increasingly messy drinking. By the time the clock crawled past three in the morning, the high-energy atmosphere had completely dissolved. The final straw came when Jisung, looking pale and thoroughly defeated by the alcohol, stumbled toward the entryway and nearly threw up directly into a massive, expensive indoor plant pot.
Jin-woo caught him by the back of his jacket just in time. That was officially everyone's cue to leave.
There was a chaotic fifteen minutes of shuffling feet, mumbled thank-yous, and heavy slaps on shoulders as you helped herd his childhood friends out into the hallway. When the heavy front door finally clicked shut, the sudden, absolute silence of the multi-million dollar apartment felt deafening.
You turned back toward the living room, only to find Jeongguk dragging his feet across the hardwood floor. True to his word from earlier, he was clutching a plush, oversized pillow under one arm and trailing a heavy, dark duvet behind him, preparing to claim the sofa.
He was so incredibly drunk. His broad shoulders were slouched under his black sweater, his movements completely uncoordinated. As he tried to navigate around the low coffee table, his knee clipped the edge, causing him to stumble awkwardly. His hand shot out to steady himself, almost knocking an empty highball glass clean off the wood surface.
"Whoa, easy there," you murmured, quickly stepping into his space. You grabbed the glass before it could shatter, setting it safely aside, and then crouched down slightly to match his eye level as he heavily dropped his weight onto the edge of the cushions. "Koo... look at you. I think you should actually just take the bed tonight. I can sleep out here."
Jeongguk immediately gestured a clumsy, emphatic no with his hand, shaking his head so hard a few strands of dark hair fell into his face. The sudden movement clearly sent a wave of vertigo through him, because it was instantly followed by a pained, whispered, "Jesus..."as he tightly pressed his palm against his forehead, closing his eyes against the dim lights.
You cocked a brow at him, amused but secretly melting at how soft and defenseless he looked when the tough idol persona was stripped away entirely. "See? You can barely hold your head up. Go to your room, Jeongguk."
"No," he rasped, his voice incredibly deep and thick with sleep and alcohol. He slowly dropped his hand from his face, lifting his head to look up at you through his thick lashes. His sweet, round eyes were heavily hooded, wide and shimmering with some sort of vulnerability. "Don't go yet. Let's... let's talk for a while. I missed you. I missed you so much, Y/N."
Your heart did a violent, erratic hammer against your chest at the sheer desperation in his tone. It was a direct plea, completely unguarded.
Despite the warning bells screaming in your head about your decade-long crush, you found yourself complying. You let out a soft breath and sat down right next to him on the couch, the plush cushions sinking under your weight as his heavy, warm presence instantly enveloped you in the quiet dark.
The moment you settled onto the cushion, his heavy head fell sideways, landing directly on your shoulder. You were instantly engulfed by his scent. It was a fragrance so deeply familiar to you, cutting right through the tequila-infused softness he had going on tonight.
Jeongguk always smelled incredibly clean. Over the years, you had grown to associate crispy, clean cotton smells with his smile. Whenever his brutal, tight schedules didn't allow him the time to text or call you for weeks on end, you had found a strange sort of reprieve in those scents—buying detergents or candles that smelled like fresh laundry just to feel like he wasn't entirely a world away.
He shifted against you, his cheek rubbing into the fabric of your shirt as the quiet apartment settled around you both. He noted the sudden, heavy silence in the room and tilted his head up just enough to look at your profile, his bottom lip pushing out into an almost childlike pout.
"Did not you miss me too?" he asked, his deep voice muffled against your neck, raw and terribly needy.
You couldn't help the soft smile that tugged at your lips. You turned your head slightly, your breath brushing over his hair. "Obviously, Koo. How could I not? You’re my best friend."
At the word friend, Jeongguk let out a low, vibration-heavy hum in his chest. It wasn't a happy sound. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he tightly gripped a fistful of the dark duvet resting on his lap.
"I'm so confused," he whispered, the admission sounding small and cracked.
You blinked, shifting slightly so you could look down at his face. "Why?" you asked softly, your heart doing a nervous, anticipatory flutter against your ribs. "What's making you confused?"
"Because it should feel different," Jeongguk muttered, his voice dropping into a register so low and raspy it sent a physical shiver straight down your spine. He didn't lift his head from your shoulder. He just pressed closer, his warm breath seeping through the fabric of your shirt.
You grew thoroughly confused, your fingers tightening around the edge of the couch cushion. "What? What should feel different, Koo?"
He let out a ragged, heavy sigh, his chest expanding against your side. "Everything," he whispered. "I’ve been thinking for a while... that love, real romantic love, should feel at least as deep and all-consuming as the type of love I have for you."
The wind was completely knocked out of your lungs. For a terrifying second, you forgot how to breathe entirely. Your mind raced back over the last ten years, the late-night phone calls, the quiet domesticity of your friendship, and the heavy, burning crush you had tried so desperately to bury. You bit your lip hard, the sharp sting of pain the only thing keeping you grounded, in a desperate attempt to steady your trembling voice.
"Jeongguk," you breathed, your voice barely audible over the hum of the refrigerator in the quiet apartment. "What... what do you mean by that?"
He finally pulled his head back from your shoulder, shifting on the plush cushions so he could face you fully. He looked entirely undone by the alcohol and the sheer weight of his own thoughts. He started explaining with his hands, his long fingers cutting through the dim light. His intricate tattoos shifted across his skin, and the silver rings on his fingers glinted sharply in the dark as he gestured in frustration.
"I can't do casual, Y/N," he said, his eyes wide, glossy, and swimming with a desperate, heavy sensitivity. "I can't. Because I know how true love should feel. I know it because of you. Every single time I’ve tried to date, every time I’ve tried to build something with someone else, I find myself associating what I feel for them in comparison with you."
A beat.
Two beats.
Three beats.
The silence in the room became so heavy it was suffocating.
"And every single time," Jeongguk whispered, his head tilting down as he looked up at you through his lashes, completely stripping away his defenses and surrendering his heart right into your hands, "I’ve found that they always come short. In comparison with you."
You tried to diffuse the situation right then and there. Your brain was working in overdrive, frantically constructing walls because the alternative—believing him—meant stepping into a territory that could ruin everything you had built over the last years.
He was drunk. He was clearly not thinking straight. He was currently trying to be girl-sober, and in your mind, he was just projecting his deeply ingrained, serial monogamist tendencies onto the closest, safest thing he had. You.
It wasn’t true. It couldn't be true.
"Jeongguk," you said, your voice tight as you forced a breath into your lungs, desperately trying to ignore how loud your own heart was knocking against your ribs. "I think you’re just projecting. You're exhausted, you've been lonely on tour, and you're just confusing comfort for something else."
He muttered a low, ragged "Jesus..."again, his hand rising to tightly press against his forehead. He didn't even seem to fully process what you said, completely deaf to the frantic rhythm of your chest as the alcohol and the emotional weight of his own confession finally dragged him under.
The raw intensity in his eyes flickered out, replaced by heavy exhaustion. Without another word, he let his upper body slide sideways, his head plopping heavily onto the plush pillow he’d thrown on the edge of the couch.
He curled his body slightly into the cushions, his dark lashes fluttering shut as a deep, uneven breath left his parted lips, leaving you sitting there in the dim blue LED light, completely frozen next to him.
That’s when you realize his bedroom door was probably still locked, a solid block of wood protecting a room you weren't allowed to enter.
You had absolutely no option but to sleep on the couch next to him. Letting out a quiet, defeated breath, you grabbed the edge of the heavy, dark duvet he’d brought out, pulling it over both of your bodies to shield against the air conditioning. You shifted your weight, settling into the cushions as best you could, and tried to sleep.
It was impossible. Seven thousand thoughts were swirling in your mind, a chaotic storm of memory and denial.
But Jeongguk was drunk.
He was completely out of it, his deep, even breaths rising and falling against your side. He wouldn't remember this in the morning, you told yourself. Tomorrow, the sun would come up, the platonic armor would go back on, and he would just be your best friend again. You closed your eyes, letting the clean cotton scent of him anchor you as you finally drifted into a restless sleep, completely unaware of how thin the line between you had truly become.
But the next morning, he was nowhere to be seen.
When you finally opened your eyes, blinking against the harsh, bright sunlight piercing through the cracks of the heavy blackout curtains, the couch beside you was completely empty. You checked your phone—it was god knows what hour of the late morning—and the realization that you were alone in the vast, quiet space hit you like a cold splash of water. The heavy dark duvet was pulled back, the plush pillow still holding the indentation of his head, but Jeongguk was gone.
So naturally, you grew a bit anxious.
A tight, familiar knot formed in the pit of your stomach as you sat up, the silence of the multi-million dollar apartment suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. Your mind instantly began to scramble, racing back through the events of the previous night. You hoped with everything you had that he would just forget what he said last night. You prayed the tequila had completely wiped his memory, that the slurred confessions about true love and people coming up short in comparison to you would just evaporate into the morning air. If he forgot, everything could go back to normal. You could go back to being the constant, unshakeable variable in his life.
But then the darker, terrifying thoughts started to bleed in, turning your anxiety into full-blown panic.
What if he remembered? What if he woke up with a pounding headache and a crystal-clear recollection of every single word that had left his mouth? What if he was so thoroughly mortified, so repulsed by the fact that he had crossed that sacred platonic line and laid his soul bare, that he had physically chosen to flee his own home just to avoid looking you in the eye?
You stood up, your knees slightly shaky, your eyes darting toward the hallway. His bedroom door was still closed, but the heavy silence in the apartment made it feel like he had abandoned the entire place just to escape the mess he’d created in the dark.
That’s when you heard the faucet running.
The sharp, metallic hiss of rushing water cut through the suffocating silence of the apartment, drawing your attention toward the kitchen. Your heart skipped a beat, the knot of anxiety in your stomach loosening just a fraction, only to tighten again with a completely different kind of tension.
With small steps, your feet padding quietly against the cold hardwood floor, you made your way down the hall. Every single breath you took felt like lead, heavy and burning in your chest. You braced yourself for a tense, awkward confrontation, preparing to play off his drunken rambling as a massive joke.
Instead, you rounded the corner and saw him in all his glory, completely naked from the belt up.
The bright morning sunlight poured through the kitchen window, hitting the sharp, fiercely toned lines of his back and shoulders as he stood in front of the sink. He had a clean pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips, exposing that dark, dangerous happy trail you’d been obsessing over the day before. His skin practically glistened, completely washed clean of the previous night's sweat and alcohol, and his dark, damp hair strands curled slightly around his nape. He was rinsing out a couple of mugs, hands moving with effortless, domestic grace.
As if sensing your presence, Jeongguk turned around.
There was no repulsion on his face. No awkwardness, no frantic desire to flee. Instead, his sweet, round eyes instantly crinkled at the corners, and a warm, lazy grin spread across his face, his silver lip piercing catching the morning light.
He greeted you in a sweet, entirely normal manner.
"Morning, sleepypants," he murmured, his voice a low, gravelly morning rumble that vibrated pleasantly in the quiet air. He set the mug down and gestured toward the espresso machine on the counter. "Coffee?"
You sit down awkwardly on one of the high barstools at the marble kitchen island, your hands folded in your lap as you nod your head. "Yes, please. Black is fine."
The silence stretches between you for a bit, heavy and thick on your end, though Jeongguk seems entirely unbothered as he presses a button on the espresso machine. The low whirring of the grinder fills the space, and the rich, dark scent of coffee begins to bloom in the air. Your mind is still a frantic mess of questions, the sheer weight of his shirtless torso in the bright morning light not helping your ability to think straight.
Unable to take the suspense any longer, you clear your throat. "Koo?"
He hums in response, not turning around just yet as he watches the dark liquid drip into the mugs, patiently waiting for you to continue.
You swallow hard, tracing a invisible line on the marble counter. "Do you... do you remember last night?"
Jeongguk freezes for a split second, his shoulders tensing just a fraction before he slowly turns around to face you. He leans back against the counter, crossing his tattooed arm over his bare chest, a totally blank, deadpan expression washing over his features.
"Last night?" he repeats, blinking his eyes with exaggerated confusion. He tilts his head, looking down at his own bare torso and then back up at you. "Wait... what year is it?"
You instantly catch onto the stupid joke, a rush of exasperated relief flooding your chest. You reach out, grabbing a random crumpled tissue you found sitting on the edge of the counter, and throw it straight at his face.
He ducks, but it clips his shoulder anyway. Jeongguk bursts into a loud, boxing-glove laugh, his eyes crinkling into those familiar, endearing crescents as the heavy tension in the room instantly evaporates.
"Yes," he says, his laughter dying down into a soft, knowing smile as he holds your gaze, his voice dropping back into that low morning cadence. "I remember last night, Y/N."
Your stomach drops straight through the floor. The relief you felt a second ago evaporates, replaced by a sudden, choking wave of heat that rises all the way to your face. You fumble with your words, your tongue feeling thick and clumsy as you try to form a coherent sentence.
"You—you remember?" you stammer, your hands nervously gripping the edge of the marble counter. "Then... what you said on the couch. Before you fell asleep. Did you... I mean, did you actually mean it?"
Jeongguk stays quiet for a while. The playful morning light suddenly feels too bright, too exposing. He doesn't move from where he’s leaning against the counter, but the easy grin vanishes from his face. He looks down at his feet, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard, his chest expanding with a deep, deliberate breath.
When he finally lifts his head, his eyes are dead serious, devoid of any tequila-induced haze.
"Yes," he says, his voice a low, steady vibration. "I meant it."
You blink, your chest tightening so fast it hurts. "What... what did you mean, Jeongguk? Exactly?"
"I meant what I meant," he mutters, his jaw clenching as he shifts his weight. He crosses his arms tighter over his bare chest, a defensive instinct kicking in as he tries to maintain his footing. He’s trying to stay casual, trying to play the enigmatic card, but the slight twitch in his silver lip piercing gives him away.
"Yes, but what does it mean?" you push, your voice cracking slightly out of frustration. You lean forward on the barstool, completely done with the riddles. "You don't get to drop a bomb like that, tell me everyone else comes short in comparison to me, and then just say 'I meant what I meant.' What does that mean for us, Jeongguk? What are you actually saying?"
Jeongguk stares at you, the silence stretching out between you like a taut wire. You can practically hear the furious looping in his head, the terrifying friction between the decade of friendship holding him back and the raw, suffocating desire to just stop hiding.
"It means exactly what you think it means, Y/N," he says defensively, his voice rising a fraction. "Why do I have to spell it out?"
"Because you were drunk!" you snap back, your own walls going up because you're terrified of getting your hopes destroyed. "Because people say crazy things when they've had six shots of tequila! You told me I'm the standard for your love life. Do you have any idea how insane that is to hear from your best friend?"
That's the breaking point.
Jeongguk cracks. The stubborn, defensive posture completely shatters, his arms dropping to his sides as he takes a sudden, aggressive step forward, closing the distance between the counter and your stool. He looms over you, his bare chest heaving, his eyes wide and burning with a desperate, chaotic intensity.
"It's not insane!" he bursts out, his voice cracking with a raw, emotional force that echoes through the quiet kitchen. He grips the edge of the marble island right next to your thighs, leaning down until his face is just inches from yours, entirely undone. "It's not the tequila, Y/N! I've been sober for months on tour and I thought about it every single day. Every girl I look at, every person I talk to, I'm just looking for you in them. I'm tired of pretending I don't. I'm tired of the mystery. I meant that I’m in love with you, okay? I’ve been in love with you for years!"
"You're crazy!" you snap back, the pure panic in your chest bubbling over into anger as you push yourself back against the barstool. "You are completely crazy, Jeongguk! You can’t just wake up one day and decide to ruin a ten-year friendship because you had a breakthrough on tour! You don't just get to tear down everything we built because you feel like it!"
He flinches as if you physically struck him. The fierce, looming intensity drains from his posture in an instant, leaving him looking raw and incredibly small despite his broad frame. His eyes turn visibly sad, a thick, glossy sheen coating them under the bright kitchen lights. His jaw tightens, his silver lip piercing trembling just a fraction before a bitter, hurt laugh leaves his throat.
"Well, excuse the fuck out of me if I have feelings," he spits out, his voice cracking with a dangerous mix of anger and absolute rejection. He pulls his hands off the marble counter and takes a step back, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso again, as if trying to shield his chest from you. "Excuse me for actually trusting my best friend enough to be honest. I didn't decide to feel this way, Y/N."
"It’s not even about that!" you yell back, your hands flying into the air out of sheer frustration. You slide off the barstool, finally standing on your own two feet so you don't have to look up at him. "Jeongguk, think for one second! Could you actually afford to lose me if a relationship goes south? If we do this, if we cross that line and it blows up in our faces, we don't get to go back to being friends. I'm gone. You're gone. Everything is ruined. Can you honestly afford that?"
At your words, his entire demeanor shifts from heartbroken to super pissy and defensive, the vulnerability of his ego being bruised making him lash out.
"It wouldn't go south!" he barks, his chest heaving as he glares down at you, his face flushing a furious, hurt red. "Why are you already deciding we're going to fail? And you know what? It doesn't even matter because you’re standing here acting like you have the high moral ground! Like you're the only one who cares about our friendship and I'm just some reckless idiot trying to break it!"
"I don’t have a moral ground!" you shout, stepping right into his space, your voice matching his volume. "I’m just trying to be smart about this! Someone has to be, because you're clearly letting your emotions run completely wild right now!"
"Why should you be smart?!" Jeongguk erupts, his frustration completely breaking through the ceiling. He throws his hands up, the silver rings on his fingers flashing aggressively in the morning sun. He steps so close you can feel the radiating, shirtless heat of his skin, his breath hitting your face in short, ragged gasps. He looks down at you, his eyes searching your face with a suffocating anger. "Why do you always have to be the logical one? Tell me the truth, Y/N—have you ever even thought about me that way? Even once? Or am I just the only idiot who’s been suffocating in this for years?"
"Of course I’ve thought about you that way!" you burst out, the truth ripping through your throat before you could even try to stop it. "Every single day for the last ten years, Jeongguk! I have been suffocating right next to you, watching you date other people, watching you become a global superstar, completely terrified that if I said a word, I’d lose you forever!"
Jeongguk completely freezes. The furious, pissy retort dies right on his tongue, his mouth hanging open slightly as his chest heaves. His round eyes widen, the glossy unshed tears making them look impossibly huge as he processes your words.
"You..." he stammers, his voice becoming a breathless, vulnerable whisper. "You have?"
"Yes! But you’re sitting here acting like it’s so simple," you say, your voice trembling with an overwhelming mix of anger, frustration, and a decade's worth of built-up tension. You take a step closer, your eyes locking onto his parted lips, then tracing up to the raw, completely undone expression on his face. He looks so helpless, so utterly desperate for your touch, standing there shirtless in the bright morning light.
You need him to understand. You need to prove to him that this isn't just some casual, easy dynamic he can play with. You want to prove a point—to show him exactly what he's playing with, exactly how dangerous this boundary truly is.
Before he can utter another word, you reach out, your fingers gripping the soft fabric of his sweatpants at his hip to pull him in, and you slam your lips against his.
Jeongguk lets out a sharp, muffled gasp into your mouth, his entire body jolting at the sudden impact. But the hesitation lasts for less than a second. The moment he realizes you are actually kissing him, he completely shatters. A low, desperate groan rumbles deep in his chest, and his tattooed hands flies to your waist, his fingers digging into your skin with a terrifying, suffocating hunger.
The kiss is chaotic, fierce, and overflowing with ten years of unspoken agony. You pour everything into it—all the logic, all the smart choices, all the fear of losing him—crushing your lips against his until your teeth click. He tastes like the rich espresso he just brewed and the sharp, lingering heat of his own desperation. He follows your lead completely, surrendering to the dominance you admitted to just hours before, letting you call every single shot as he whimpers against your mouth, his frame trembling beneath your hands.
When you finally pull back, your chest heaving, your lips swollen and tingling, you try to step away to establish the boundary again. "See?" you breathe out, your voice shaky as you stare at his dark, completely blown-out pupils. "That is what we lose if—"
"No," Jeongguk whines instantly, the sudden loss of your lips making him sound incredibly small and pathetic. His hands tighten on your waist, physically yanking you right back against his bare, warm chest. His nose brushes against yours, his breath hot and ragged. "No, Y/N. Please. Just one more. One more."
"Jeongguk, I'm trying to make a point—"
"I don't care about the point," he groans, his voice turning super whiny, his bottom lip pushing out in a desperate, pouty expression that completely contrasts his heavily tattooed, muscular frame. He leans his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering shut as he practically begs. "Just one more kiss. Please. Y/N. One more, and then I’ll listen to the logical stuff. Just one more."
You melt away entirely under the pathetic, desperate drag of his voice. Every ounce of your hard-earned logic completely liquefies, dripping away into the space between your pounding hearts as you slide your hands up his radiating chest to cup the back of his neck, pulling him right back down to you.
The moment your lips meet again, Jeongguk kisses you like it’s the only thing he was ever put on this earth to do.
It is an agonizingly deep, consuming kiss that destroys any remaining illusion of your platonic past. He devours you, his plush lips parting with a fierce, wet desperation that immediately slicks your skin. He uses his tongue with a heavy, deliberate stroke, sweeping into your mouth to claim you entirely, tasting intensely of the bitter espresso and the sweet, clean mint from earlier. Every tilt of his head is a calculated shift to press deeper, his silver lip piercing sliding hot and sharp against your bottom lip, an intoxicating friction that sends a jolt of pure electricity straight to your core.
You let out a helpless, broken moan right into his mouth, the sound vibrating against his teeth.
The small noise completely undoes him. Jeongguk’s hands abandon your waist to roam frantically all over you, his palms hot and heavy as they map out your body. He slides his hands down the curve of your back, his blunt fingernails digging into your clothes, before lifting up to cup your jaw, his tattooed thumb firmly pressing against your pulse point to hold you perfectly still for his assault. His chest presses flush against you, the hard, sculpted lines of his abdomen crushing into your frame until you can feel the frantic, booming rhythm of his heart matching your own.
He is entirely consumed, a slave to the sudden shift in your dynamic.
He briefly breaks the kiss, his lips only parting a fraction of an inch from yours, leaving a string of wet, heavy breaths between you. His glossy eyes flutter open, looking at you with a gaze so completely wrecked and swimming with desire that it makes your knees buckle. He whines against your skin, a high, desperate sound cutting through his deep morning rasp as his forehead drops heavily against yours.
"I'm gonna make you feel good," he pleads, his breath hot and ragged against your swollen mouth as his hands slide back down to desperately grip your hips. "Please, Y/N... please let me make you feel good. Just let me. Please."
You don’t reply right away, your mind completely fracturing into a thousand pieces as you stand frozen in his kitchen. Your thoughts pull you in every direction, desperately trying to analyze the wreckage of the last five minutes.
The damage is done. You already kissed him—not just a gentle slip of the lips, but a fierce, devastating confession of a kiss that blew every single one of your carefully constructed boundaries right out the door. The sacred line of the friendship hasn't just been crossed; it’s been entirely incinerated.
As you stare down at his flushed face, a dark, heavy thought slips into your mind, taking root before your logic can tear it down: Would it really be so bad to just go through with it?
If everything is already broken, if the mystery is gone, why keep fighting the very thing that’s been suffocating you both for a decade? You look at his chest rising and falling in sharp, ragged gasps, his skin radiating a maddening heat that pulls you in like gravity.
Before a single word can tumble past your swollen lips, Jeongguk completely unravels. His knees give out, hitting the hardwood floor with a soft thud as he drops down right in front of you.
The global superstar, the man who fills stadiums worldwide, is entirely brought to his knees, looking up at you with huge, glassy, pleading eyes. He looks so sweet, so raw, and completely submissive to whatever you decide next.
"Please," he whimpers, the word spilling out of him like a broken prayer. "Please, Y/N."
He doesn't wait for your permission. His hands slide up the back of your legs, his palms scalding hot through the fabric of your clothes as he pulls your hips closer to his face. He buries his face against you, his warm forehead pressing firmly against your lower stomach as a ragged breath hitches in his throat.
"Let me make you feel good," he begs into your clothes, his voice dropping into a desperate, deep vibration that resonates straight through your skin. "Just let me do this for you. Please."
Then, his plush lips press against your clothed thighs.
He kisses you right through the fabric, his mouth hot and damp, leaving heavy, branding presses of his lips along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. He nuzzles his face deeper against your legs, whining softly when you don't immediately push him away. The absolute friction of his silver lip piercing catching against the material, combined with the desperate, worshipful way his hands tighten on the back of your thighs, makes your breath hitch sharply in your throat. Your hands fly to his bare shoulders just to keep yourself steady, your fingers digging into his smooth, firm skin as the room tilts on its axis.
Your fingers sink deeper into the smooth muscle of his bare shoulders as the sheer weight of his worship pulls you under. The internal debate, the frantic logic, the fear of what happens when the dust settles—it all completely evaporates.
"Okay," you finally whisper, the single word cutting through his desperate, ragged breaths. "Okay, Jeongguk. Do it."
The permission hits him like an electric shock. He doesn't waste a single second, his hands moving with an frantic, desperate urgency. He grips the waistband of your pants and underwear together, his knuckles brushing against your skin as he tugs them down your legs in a breathless hurry. You kick out of them, your feet hitting the cool hardwood floor, leaving you completely exposed to him in the middle of the bright kitchen.
When he leans his head back in, you let out a sharp, involuntary hiss as the hot, concentrated burst of his breath hits your sensitive pubic area.
But he doesn't touch you yet. Jeongguk just stays frozen on his knees, his hands still tightly gripping the back of your thighs to anchor you in place. He’s just looking. His sweet eyes are wide and completely dark with a devastating mixture of awe and pure hunger. His chest heaves, his silver lip piercing glinting as his lips part slightly, his gaze completely tracing every inch of you as if he’s memorizing a holy text.
The intense, unblinking weight of his stare makes you shift your weight, a sudden spike of heat rushing to your face. "Jeongguk," you breathe out, your voice trembling. "What... what are you doing?"
"I need more room," he rasps, his voice dropping into a thick, desperate growl.
Before you can even process the words, his large hands slide under your thighs and around your back. In one swift, effortless motion, he lifts you completely off the ground. You let out a small gasp, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he carries you out of the kitchen. He moves with a singular, fierce focus, and in a matter of seconds, you’re in his bedroom.
He lays you down onto the mattress, and you find yourself completely sprawled across the dark, silk sheets of his bed, the heavy clean cotton scent of him enveloping you entirely.
Jeongguk doesn't even let you catch your breath. He crawls up onto the mattress immediately, his large, heavy body looming over yours for a fraction of a second before he slides right back down between your thighs. He hooks your knees over his shoulders, pinning you open, and buries his face directly between your legs.
The first touch of his tongue is a wet, heavy stroke that makes your entire body arches off the bed. He eats you out like it’s a form of salvation, his mouth hot, wide, and utterly ravenous against your wet skin. He uses his tongue with a frantic, consuming rhythm, lapping at you with deep, deliberate strokes that pull a loud, undone moan right from your throat. The slick, wet sounds of his mouth against you echo in the quiet room, completely destroying any lingering sanity.
Even as he devours you, the desperate, pleading energy from the kitchen doesn't leave him. Every time you twist your fingers into his damp, dark hair to pull him closer, a muffled, high whine breaks from his throat, vibrating directly against your clit. He nuzzles his face deeper into your heat, his silver lip piercing sliding sharp and intoxicating against your most sensitive spots, making you sob his name into the empty air.
"Please," he whimpers against your wet flesh, breaking his rhythm for only a split second to breathe your name, his voice cracked and completely wrecked. His hands grip your hips so tightly his knuckles turn white, silently begging you to hold him there, to let him keep drowning in you. "Please tell me it's good. Tell me you like it, Y/N. Just let me stay right here."
You can only cry out in response, your hips instinctively rolling into his mouth as his tongue darts back inside, deeper and more desperate than before, completely surrendering his entire existence to the rhythm of your pleasure.
The sound of his name ripping from your throat sends a visible shiver straight through his broad, shirtless frame. Hearing how undone you are only makes him more desperate, his tongue working with a frantic, wet rhythm that has your hips rolling blindly into his face.
"You're so good, Koo," you gasp out, your knuckles turning white as you fist your fingers into his damp, dark hair, pressing him closer. "Ah—yes, right there. You're making me feel so good. So good..."
Jeongguk lets out a muffled, high whine directly against your core, the high-pitched, needy sound vibrating straight through you. The praise completely undoes him. He sucks a hard, bruising path up your inner lip, his silver piercing scraping perfectly against your most sensitive flesh, pulling a loud, broken sob from your lungs. He is utterly buried in you, his hands gripping the undersides of your thighs so tightly that his bicep muscles bulge under his smooth, tattooed skin. He nuzzles deeper, lapping at your slick heat with a ravenous, worshipful speed, swallowing your whimpers like they are the only thing keeping him alive.
The friction is too much. The intense, deep heat building in your lower stomach is expanding so fast it feels dangerous, blinding you to everything else in the room. You are getting so entirely into it, the overwhelming pleasure clouding your logic until you can't breathe, can't think, can't handle the agonizingly slow burn of just his mouth anymore.
You want him. You want all of him.
With a breathless cry, you pull your hands out of his hair and adjust the position you're in, your palms sliding down his broad chest, past his tensed abs, to the low waistband of his grey sweatpants. Jeongguk senses the shift immediately, his head lifting, his lips glistening, dark hair falling wildly over his wide, blown-out eyes as he looks up at you with a breathless, questioning whimper.
You don't say a word. You simply hook your fingers into the cotton of his sweats and underwear, tugging them down past his hips in one swift, demanding motion.
His cock springs free, thick, heavy, and leaking a bead of pre-cum that glints in the bedroom light. It twitches against his lower stomach, fully erect and radiating a maddening heat. Jeongguk lets out a raw, hitched breath, his hands trembling on your mattress as he hovers over you, completely exposed, his chest heaving as he waits in agonizing suspense for what you're going to do to him next.
You wrap your fingers firmly around the thick, pulsing base of his shaft, the skin scalding hot against your palm. Jeongguk lets out a shaky, pathetic gasp the moment your hand closes around him, his hips twitching forward instinctively. Without giving him a second to recover, you lean forward, parting your lips, and slide the plush, leaking head of his cock straight into your mouth.
He completely loses his mind.
A loud, ragged moan rips from his throat, echoing sharply in the quiet bedroom. You swirl your tongue around the sensitive ridge, catching the slick pre-cum, before sinking your mouth lower, drawing him deeper down your throat. The rich, clean scent of him mixes with the musk of his arousal, entirely consuming your senses. You use your tongue to stroke the sensitive underside of his shaft, your lips wrapping tight around him to create a fierce, suffocating vacuum as you bob your head in a steady, demanding rhythm.
He throws his head back, hair spilling over his forehead as a continuous string of broken groans and breathless whimpers spills from his parted lips. He doesn't try to hold back, his chest heaving as he watches you through hooded, blown-out eyes, his silver piercing catching the light every time his jaw slacks.
"Ah, God, Y/N," he pants, his voice cracking with pure, unadulterated worship. His large, tattooed hand flies to your hair, but he doesn't push you down—he just cradles your head with a trembling, gentle grip, completely submissive to your pace. "You're so perfect. Look at you... fucking hell, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Please, you're destroying me."
The praises are heavy, thick with a devotion that makes your chest ache. He’s praising you in a way you've never been praised before, treating your mouth like a sanctuary, completely unbothered by his own ego. You take him deeper, your thumb rubbing over his balls, and the combination makes his hips roll blindly against your lips, a low, desperate whine vibrating in his chest.
The edge is getting too sharp for him. The friction of your wet mouth and the agonizingly sweet torture of the rhythm has him shaking from head to toe. His fingers tighten in your hair, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps as he feels himself reaching a dangerous point of no return.
He suddenly pulls back just enough to slip his cock from your lips, a heavy string of saliva connecting you for a fraction of a second. Jeongguk hovers over you on his knees, his entire body trembling, his face flushed a dark, beautiful red as he looks down at your wet, swollen lips.
"I can't—I can't just take," he begs, his voice breaking completely as he drops his forehead against your chest, his chest heaving against your skin. He is entirely undone, crying out as his hands slide down to grip your hips, physically pulling you back down onto the mattress. He positions himself right between your soaked, aching thighs, the heavy head of his cock rubbing torturously against your wet core. "Please, Y/N. I need to be inside you. Please let me come home. Please let me inside."
A dark, heady rush of power floods your veins as you look down at him. Seeing the man who fills stadiums worldwide reduced to a trembling, pleading mess right under you is intoxicating. You smirk against the flushed skin, your fingers sliding up his damp neck to tilt his face up.
"Put it on then, Koo," you murmur.
You say your consent, and the word acts like a green light. Jeongguk scrambles, blindly fishing a condom from the nightstand drawer—you aren't even paying attention to where he gets it from, your eyes locked onto the sharp, beautiful lines of his tensed muscles as he tears the foil open with his teeth.
His hands are shaking so violently it takes him two tries to roll the latex down his thick, pulsing length.
The moment he’s protected, he doesn't wait. He lines the wet, heavy head of his cock against your slick opening and sinks into you in one deep, agonizingly slow push.
A loud, broken sob rips from your throat as he fills you completely, stretching you out until you're entirely consumed by the sheer size of him. Jeongguk lets out a guttural, trembling groan into the crook of your neck, his large frame collapsing over yours, his full, shirtless weight pinning you into the dark silk sheets.
"Ah, God, Y/N... you're so tight, you're so warm," he whimpers, his voice completely wrecked as he begins to move.
The friction is instant and overwhelming. Jeongguk doesn't fuck you with the practiced, cocky rhythm of a man in control; he fucks you with a desperate, frantic hunger, his hips snapping forward in deep, heavy thrusts that rock the entire bed. He is completely starved for you, his tattooed hand sliding under your lower back to lift your hips higher, taking every single inch you have to offer. The wet, slapping sound of his skin hitting yours echoes in the quiet bedroom, mixed with his continuous, vocal praises.
He’s riding the absolute edge from the very first stroke, the decade of built-up desire making him impossibly sensitive. His breath comes in short, panicked gasps against your ear, his silver lip piercing grazing your pulse point as his pace turns frantic, unhinged.
"I'm gonna—Y/N, I'm close, I can't hold it," he cries out, his voice cracking. He gives three more deep, blind thrusts, his entire body locking up as a low, ragged scream tears from his lungs. He spasms against you, his cock twitching violently inside your walls as he finishes first, spilling himself entirely into the condom.
But he doesn't stop.
Even as his climax ripples through him, leaving him completely overstimulated and trembling, he refuses to pull out. He knows you haven't crossed the line yet. With his jaw clenched and his eyes swimming with tears from the sheer, burning sensitivity of his post-nut state, Jeongguk forces his hips to keep moving.
He whimpers miserably with every single stroke, the friction against his overstimulated skin clearly driving him crazy, but he keeps pushing inside you anyway.
"I've got you," he pants, a high, needy whine breaking from his lips as he drags his body up and down yours, his movements slower now, heavier, grinding his pelvis right against your clit with agonizing precision. "I'm not stopping... please, baby, come for me. Let me feel you clamp down on me. Please."
The sight of him pushing through his own overstimulation just to please you completely shatters whatever restraint you have left. Your internal walls collapse. Your hips begin to roll frantically against his, your toes curling into the silk sheets as the tight coil in your lower stomach snaps.
You scream his name as a violent, crushing orgasm ripples through your body. Your internal muscles clamp down tightly around his thick shaft, milking him through the latex. Jeongguk lets out a loud, pathetic whimper at the tight squeeze, his forehead dropping heavily onto your shoulder as he rides out the wave of your climax with you, completely spent, completely yours.
He collapses right besides you, his massive, shirtless frame molding perfectly against you as he pulls you into his chest. Both of your chests are heaving in the quiet room, the only sound the ragged asymmetry of your breathing slowing down. Jeongguk nuzzles his face into your hair, tracing his plush, swollen lips along your jawline before kissing you tenderly on the cheek—a soft, lingering pressure that feels entirely detached from the frantic, consuming chaos of just moments ago.
You lie there, the cool air of the bedroom hitting your bare skin where his body isn't pinning you down. The reality of what just happened begins to settle into your bones, the heavy fog of pleasure lifting to reveal the massive, uncharted territory you’ve both just stepped into.
"Jeongguk," you breathe out, your voice still a little raspy. You turn your head slightly, trying to look at him. "We should talk about it. About... us. What this means."
He lets out a soft, tired groan, burying his face deeper into your neck. His large, tattooed arm wraps securely around your waist, pulling you so close there isn't a single millimeter of space left between you.
"We will," he promises, his low rumble vibrating right against your skin. "I promise we’ll talk about everything you want. Just... please let me enjoy this moment for a second. Let me just hold you."
You agree, nodding your head slightly against his chest, but you are visibly lost in your thoughts. Your eyes trace the unfamiliar contours of his bedroom, the dark silk sheets, the heavy shadows on the wall. The anxiety hasn't completely vanished, it's just waiting on the periphery, whispering questions about tomorrow, about his career, about the fragile ten-year foundation you just risked.
As if sensing the sudden shift in your energy, Jeongguk shifts. He props himself up on one elbow, hovering over you just enough to look down into your face. His eyes are incredibly soft, completely clear of the tequila from last night and the blinding lust from minutes ago. He reaches up, his gentle thumb tracing your cheekbone, wiping away a stray bead of sweat.
"Hey," he murmurs, his piercing catching the soft light. He looks at you with an unwavering certainty that makes your heart skip a beat. "I’m going to make sure nothing goes south. I promise you. I love you, Y/N."
Hearing the words spoken so clearly, without a drop of alcohol or adrenaline to hide behind, makes the last of your defenses crumble.
"I love you too," you whisper back.
He smiles—a genuine, boyish grin that reminds you exactly of the teenager you met a decade ago—and pulls you back down against him. As you nuzzle your nose deep into the warm, clean-scented crook of his neck, listening to the steady, unshakeable beat of his heart beneath your cheek, the frantic thoughts in your mind finally begin to quiet down.
Maybe the logic didn't matter. Maybe, against all odds, it really was going to be okay.
DISCLAIMER: It's all for fun, take it with a metric fuck ton of salt or don't - Idk I just work here... This reading is going to be long, dead ass did not intend for it to be that way but well- here we are i guess.
Never thought I'd be doing this again lmao, enjoy! Damn I'm rusty also, this post is 17,732 words and 96,943 characters, I'm not proofreading omg.
Jimin:
The Fool rx, 4oS, 4oP, PoC rx, AoP rx, 6oS, 9oP.
It seems as though, he is currently uninterested in any new ventures. It could be that the universe, his guides, god, whomst ever the fuck you want to call the powers at be are trying to encourage him to take a leap of blind faith, to follow the whim of nature however, he does not feel ready at this point in time. He'd much rather focus his energy in recovery, getting back to himself than to take on something new at the moment. Conversely he might be resisting this change, causing friction within himself because there is something he is holding onto, coveting if you will, that he may be aware that he needs to release it but- is again not yet ready for that. Picture a dragon hoarding emeralds going "NO! my preciouses" in a gollum voice and there you have it. This friction he is causing himself is preventing new people to enter his life, be it life long friendships, partnerships, business relations or- romance. He may also be experiencing a lull in communication with those close to him, and with the ace of pentacles reversed, it could be that he is in need of these connections and advice but doesn't want to overstep on the chance of being told "you need to let go dude". Thankfully, all though it is slow and arduous, he is making his way out of this energy, slowly but surely "returning to safer waters". All in all, even though he is in his lil gremlin era, he is still thriving, still reaping the benefits and fruits of his labor. He knows he's still the shit.
Oof, we got an over thinker over here folks. So, towards Chimmy, this guy is overthinking central. Have you ever wondered where your overthunk thoughts went? Well, it's here lmao just kidding. He feels confused, unbalanced, out of alignment, really really missing the communication here- I fear bad news may be involved or- OR- because of the lack of communication, signs, the silence has him overthinking that something wrong happened. Either he did something wrong that affected this connection or that something happened to Chimmy seems to be his chief worry. He might be overthinking about the "delay" he's causing with the friction he has in the first part, probably over worrying himself sick thinking that it's something he's currently doing that led to this radio silence. Unbeknownst to him, it's actually the opposite. The energy is exactly where it needs to be right now and they are making strides in their life, physically but mostly spiritually. What they are both doing is taking themselves forward without really knowing it, literally purging and healing without being aware of it. It seems as though he is, through this "cleaning up his act" in a sense. All he has to do at this very moment is to look towards the sun, what's on the horizon, know that his "ships" are on it's way and the act of him resting, taking care of his vessel and putting more focus on that is what is aligning him to that energy. At the bottom of the deck is the king of cups reversed which is more indicative of his mindset and how he feels about himself than anything. He is really overthinking his self worth and his place in Chimmy's life, whether or not he is the right one or if he's capable of handling something like this. Perhaps he's thinking he has to become a "family man" instantaneously but- that is not what the energy dictates or requires lmao he just needs to take a chill pill and juh lih vihbe.
The straw that broke the camels back, *insert uncle rukus theme song here*. Lmaooo anywho, the camel is regarded for its ability to take on long, long, journeys, storing water in their humps, their robust physiology and their ability to raw dog cacti. Whereas griffin is about the superconcious. To ME, this reads as the long process and journey to becoming more aware of oneself and the world around them. It is as though, he is a straw away from that back getting cracked and epiphanies come spewing out of him. He is in a moment where he has to find the balance between the dark and the light, the dark being over thinking, anxious thoughts, and the light being literal enlightenment and mindfulness. The eagle is regarded for it's ability to soar so high and view everything from that great vantage point. They are great important spiritual symbols in almost all sects which, is why they are broadly considered messages of the divine, protectors and a sign to look at the bigger image. The salamander is about alchemy and harnessing your inner flame. It's so fun when the intuitive ping gets confirmed by the cards lmao. He, like I said, is on his way to alchemizing this current energy and turning it into something wildly in his favor. It is possible that through this, he will connect with his spiritual team, mainly ancestors to gain a broader view of things that will then allow him to set his soul ablaze. While it is important to notice and keep on eye on the dead pixel on the screen, it is equally important to zoom out and look at the broader picture lest you get consumed by the darkness. Cardinals are a regarded as divine messengers as well, more notably as a sign that you have a visitor from above, while kangaroos are regarded for their raw power and vitality. I couldn't even make this up if I wanted to. It's more of a confirmation that opening himself up to the other side of things, letting his walls come down gives him a boost in vital energy that will fuel his next cycle. Good for him.
His songs are Bug Like an Angel by Mitski, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore, RUNNING OUT OF TIME by Tyler, The Creator
You got caught with your hand in the cookie jar didntcha? Lmao so, it seems as though, Chimmy got caught in some schemes. To me, it reads as though there was something they were trying to get away with doing something, possibly was trying to get away with not making a decision but- you can't have your cake and eat it too. They are in need to withdraw themselves, focus this unfocused and untethered energy into themselves. They may be looking for the answer or solution to their problem outside of themselves but the problem is, with it being outside of themselves, it seems much bigger and more innumerable than it truly is. If they can withdraw this energy within themselves, focus it onto themselves, they will be fine. It seems as though this problem may be work related, they could either be the boss with a ton of workers that are stressing them out for whatever reason or have a boss that is practically incompetent at their job with the iq of a molded mushroom. It feels more like the latter to be honest as there is a slight stench in the air that smells like power imbalance and manipulation. It's not for long though, with the death card here, it indicates that there is something ended soon within their energy that will make way for something new, its so funny that the card immediately after the death card is an ace card which also marks the start of a journey. With the card specifically being of the cups suit, this may be something that is highly emotional, self serving and possibly romantic. However, funnily enough the two cards are followed by the fool card in the reverse which leads me to believe that they are currently mirroring the same energy that Jimin is in. Either the fear or inability to take that leap of faith into a brand new cycle. It seems like the both of them has a specific step they need to take to round this energy out to a complete close so something new can take it's place. The energy for Chimmy however is interesting and rather funny because even though there is something stopping them from taking that full leap of faith, they still want to "do it for the plot". It seems like that "yolo" energy is clashing with the energy that their spiritual team wants or needs them to be in. It seems like- rather than an impulsive daredevil kind of energy, a more calculated and intentional energy is required. Other than that, they have all of what they need to step forward. They are in tune with their emotions, ready to take that next step and leave behind their house of cards if that is what's needed but, it seems like they need to judge themselves, their progress, their readiness, their growth, their healing before the door can be opened. Do they deem themselves prepared for whats next or do they need a wrap around? Spiritually, their spirit team do deem them as ready and capable. They have mastered the energy of the suits and are in a massively creative energy, they have what it takes and are willing to give what is needed to make that move to calmer things, they are stable and in touch with their feminine energy (everyone has divine feminine and masculine energy, it does not relate to gender, it just means one is receiving and one is go getting) the only blockage that can be seen here is their mindset. Unable to see themselves as they are and might be in a totally soured mood, enough to cloud their view of things. Regardless, they are going to tear the walls off with how dummy fast they're gonna peel off towards the things they want when that energy clears. Side note, it seems as though they are aware of Jimin and his current state too which is interesting hehe.
Okurrr, pop awf. It seems as though- they're hiding whatever this energy is from others hehe. The page of cups here is giving more of a bashful "hehe, don't tell anyone" SO I won't hehe. Other than that, it seems as though they are indeed working on closing out these cycles, so that they can make proper and swift moves towards something that they were made aware of- it's possible that they got a message from the divine or an intuitive ping to work in this specific area of life. They are working really hard to achieve their hopes and dreams and doing all that they can to retain hope while also getting that bread up. It seems as though their end goal is material and generational wealth that they can share, it also feels as though there is a focus on having human things like- a house, family, etc.
World, Lion, Okapi, Giraffe, Swallow, Skunk.
Wow, double confirmation with two different world cards. However, this card is, in fact, different from the tarot meaning SO- The world is about shadow work and unearthing ones true potential, the lion is regarded as the divine masculine, pride, and the father. What they might be unearthing is their divine masculine energy, the energy that is active, the one that goes out and achieves what the feminine directs. They may be feeling as though they are in a pressure chamber in the core of earth having to excavate this energy from themselves and for themselves but, because it is lion, pride, and the father, it will be a relatively easy feat. All they must do is literally take pride in who they are. The shadow aspect of the card may indicate that their disconnect to this energy comes from an uncomfortable relationship with a father figure, perhaps this energy reminds them of their fraternal parental figure and it's something they avoid or feel uncomfortable in. Once they realize that their fathers fire can be used to keep them warm, they'll be on easy street. The interesting part is Okapi and Giraffe! Okapi is heralded as a fated event, meeting, or the higher meaning behind things while the Giraffe has an interesting view with it's head in the clouds and it's feel firmly planted on the ground. It's giving delulu is the solulu. They have what they want to happen in mind and they're making it happen by staying grounded while in their manic pixie dream person era. The swallow gives us hope as to sailors they are the first sign that they are at the end of their journey, while the skunk reminds us that we have alternate solutions to the problems we may face. To draw this reading to a close, it seems as though Chimmy has finally reached the end of their journey, they are filled with hope and optimism for what is next as they can see what is on the horizon, knowing that they are never truly stuck, that they have many, many solutions available to them at all times. It seems as though they've come to realize or are going to realize their tried and true methods aren't the right tool for the job. Good on them!
Their songs are Breathin by Ariana Grande, bellyache by Billie Eilish, Animal by Noah Kahan.
Songs they want to send to each other
Jimin: Neath the grove is a heart by Yaeklore, I THINK by Tyler, The Creator, Lost in Time and Space by Lord Huron, Glue Myself Shut by Noah Kahan, Working for the Knife by Mitski, Revival by Zach Bryan.
Chimmy: bellyache by Billie Eilish, Maine by Noah Kahan, When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, In the Night by The Weeknd, The Only Heartbreaker by Mitski, ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? by Tyler, The Creator
He wants it to be known that he is doing well, so well in fact that he's let himself go. He's let himself be less uptight and anal in a way. He's not too focused on being overly stable, he deems himself to be fiscally stable and responsible, not the type to gamble or squander. He's incredibly perceptive as he is now, he stands on both authority and business, you cannot lie, hide, or get away with or pull one over on him for shit. It's like he went from caring too much of what people thought of him, to being utterly free and not caring at all while being this composed person. He has his eyes set on something, he seems to be rather excited and looking towards the future here, it reads as though he is setting the stage to house someting that he is protective over. It definitely feels as though he has had an upgrade recently mentally wise. It also feels as though he has something he wants to share, something that he wants to give freely. I do see here that he may have an eye on the past here, perhaps reminiscing on some past experiences that he’s had before. I have a feeling that he might have some sort of surprise that he is aware will change the directory of his life in terms of how people view him.
Wheel of fortune, 6oP rx, KoP rx, 10oW, QoW rx, Devil, KnoS, 6oC rx, 10oS, 3oS
When the wheel came out I could’ve sworn that it was the world because I heard “we’re done” so- to me that reads as though our boi might be in a defeatist attitude even though things are still up for debate, the wheel has yet to turn and it is still within their favor. It seems as though he holds some guilt over not being giving or generous enough, pentacles are earth energy and are usually related to money, and finances but it is also heavily related to earthly matters especially time. What I’m reading feels more like a channeled message and story line so I’ll try my best to convey it. He feels guilty for hoarding his resources, his time, his effort, he feels- no, he knows he could’ve done better, could’ve been a more grounded and stable person for Tata but, because of the heaps of weight on his shoulders, his responsibilities at the time as well as his own emotional baggage he couldn’t really give Tata what they needed from him. He feels remorse because he felt like in a way he forced their hand for him to rely on them, it feels as though he felt like he sapped their energy and personality being so caught up in his own world, unable to see out of his own ass. It seems as though, with the devil he might’ve feel into addictive and unhealthy behaviours to cope. He recognized that it was slowly becoming, in his eyes, something close to being toxic and made the “logical” choice to separate, however I feel as though there is something that he has yet to see within this energy. I hope there is more information on Tata’s side. The absence of Tata however, forced him to remove the rose coloured glasses, to face reality instead of living in a dream like state. It for sure hurt, quite a bit, and he did try to distract himself from it as there is this avoidant energy here but, unfortunately you can’t run from yourself. He’s currently going through the healing process, I suspect that this is what spurred on the mental upgrade.
Friend, Elephant, Rabbit, Hawk, Snail, Wolf.
A friend can show us the truth, the mirrors and offer sound advice, the elephant shows us the obstacles we face, the strength they require, enhance our wisdome and endurance all while being majestic. It seems to me that currently he has the help of a valuable friend, someone that he can gain insight from, one that tells him the truth as is and offers advice to the best of their abilities, as well as someone whos life currently mirrors his own. People are often a mirror for ourselves and this friend is no different, they might be experiencing something similar to what V is experiencing which allows himself to view his situation from a different pov. Even so, the obstacle that he is facing is surely as large as an elephant and frustrating to navigate around however, as with the wheel of fortune, elephants symbolize good luck. Rabbits are masters of fast paced changes, decision making, and knowing when to act, while the hawk guides us with intelligence, independence, adaptability and clarity. There is an energy around him where he needs to make swift decisions, taking fast action towards something, with the help of his hawk buddy this is made possible by the knowledge that is shared. Conversely, he might be making decisions way to quickly to discern whether or not he has viewed whichever situation as accurately and clearly as possible. Snails are all about slow and steady progress, especially on the right path, and wolves awaken our intuition, remind us of our silent observation of the shadows. Currently he is on the right path, there is no doubt about that, it’s just slow and full of effort however, there is still something here that isn’t as it seems with the wolf being present, he is being asked to really reconsider the way he walks his path, it doesn’t have to be this hard. This sneaky lil bastard lodged two cards under my desk so,bonus cards: Unicorn and Kangaroo. There is something special coming his way, something that he is unable to see considering the cards before and where these cards fell. This is something that will definitely strengthen him, add more steam to his boat.
His songs are When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, Bug Like an Angel by Mitski, Wait by the River by Lord Huron “Baby, I don’t mean the things I said” and TV by Billie Eilish “All my friends are missing again, that’s what happens when you fall in love. You don’t have the time, you leave them behind, You tell yourself it’s fine you’re just in love”
Another rather heavy energy here. It seems as though they have decided to embark on a journey of self discovery, perhaps they have enrolled in classes and are taking this time to rediscover their passions, their hopes and dreams and the career life they want. It feels as though they have recently returned from a trip and are no longer in an energy of wanting yet there is hesitation and a blockage here preventing them from fully moving forward with any plans. It seems as though they might have some trouble in coming as there is something they have yet to face. They've reach the point of having no where else to run and must face the leviathan in the sea. The problem is- because they are in a stubborn and refusing energy, not wanting to face their problems, they've become someone that is a bit too logical and emotionally detached from themselves possibly others as the other cards indicate a not so warm welcome home. It feels here that they are really, really questioning their life, their hope, their faith, and their place in it all. It seems as though they have a bad knack for focussing on the negative, amplifying situations in their mind to be worse that it is. Sort of like- already being depressed but engaging in thoughts and behaviours that you know make you depressed because you've found solace and comfort in being depressed. Other than that though, they do have this energy that they are exploring this nurturing side to them. Perhaps they have a pet or recently got a new pet and are spending a lot of time with them, redecorating their home to feel better and lighten the rooms, or enjoying their own presence and being home. With the four of wands in the reversed position being a direct just from the three of wands in the reversed position, I have the feeling that they expected a warm welcoming upon their arrival home- but they faced hostility instead. It seems as though there were some ties cut, be it familial or platonic. They aren't going to let this bring them further down as to me it reads as though who ever this was made comments about their success in a negative light but, they know better than to let that get to them because they are the most successful and achieved person in their family with many notable accolades possibly having a level of fame to their name. It seems as though here, with the four of swords and tower both in the reversed position, they are keeping themselves busy and moving in efforts to avoid the inner work needed which is going to cause the event of the tower falling more violent and devastating than needed almost exactly mirroring V in his own tower moment of realizations. Nevertheless, this tower moment is meant to till the land and make way for new fertile soil so that the new seeds that they plant do not rot in the ground. They are experiencing the setting of the stage to experience an ancestral pay out, they are going to receive something truly generational as it does seem some massive generational curses are being broken through this time.
Justice, 9oW rx, PoC, 4oW, 7oW, PoP rx, 9oS, 6oP, Everything is fine rx, Devil rx, 3ow.
As I was pulling the cards, someone drove past my window very obviously yelling into their phone so- I think that is an accurate description of what this energy is like, it's like a quiet anger, a disagreement here. Starting off with justice, it seems as though Tata is doing their best to judge this situation as fair as possible. If it were the queen of swords per say, it would indicate a level of jadedness however, the justice card is the more judicially fair card in the deck. If they do harbor an air of jadedness or resentment, they are able to put it aside and call out their own faults fairly. I get the feeling that, because of whatever went down between the two of them, Tata might want to surrender this connection, to let it go in hopes that someone else will come along with better prospects, more to offer and connect over however- it does feel like they may be at war with themselves over this as they're not yet willing to call it quits. It seems as though they worry that if they were to let this go, it would affect their journey and earthly life in ways they can't comprehend. The thought keeps them up at night but, that's because it's a cycle of overthinking, a way to avoid facing the issues at hand. They seem to have this very avoidant type of energy, one that does not want to face their own shadows because it's too scary. They try really hard to be the sweetest of buns but, that can only be possible if and when they face their own internal issues. I get the feeling that the recurrent thought that they have is "if only he'd be more thoughtful everything would be fine" which- to me is a loaded statement. Mainly because the cards here indicate miscommunications, misunderstandings, and a heavy lack of communication. Everything would, in fact, not be fine, because they are both gripped by their own vices, their own minds, their own addictions and binds to things that they believe make them feel good but actually hurt them more. What Tata doesn't see however, is that there is something, someone, off in the distance rebuilding the land.
Crow, Camel, Doe, Friend, Eagle, Tapir, Hen.
Crows are often a symbol of death as well as psychic abilities. They are the loyal companions to a plethora of gods and goddesses, namely Hekate and Odin. Camels are regarded for their survival through rough and impossible to pass terrains thanks to the adaptation of their physical being. It seems as though our dear friend Tata is currently being guided by Hekate and Odin through the process of death and rebirth, and the treacherous landscape of it all. When we speak of death in a metaphysical sense, we mean it metaphorically, not a corporeal death. Death in spirituality is transformation, it is letting the parts of ourselves, the shadow, the ego, fall away to make room for enlightenment. It is important to note that this process is a transformation, and alchemical step in our journey, not a complete and total death as the ego and shadow are still very much important to our physical lives. Tata is on a journey to learn what that means for them, to tackle their people pleasing tendencies and other vices. Consider it the hero's journey, like Hercules and his trials. The doe guides us to being receptive, through birth and new beginnings while a friend gives us needed and helpful advice, serving as a mirror for us to view ourselves through. As mentioned before, Tata is definitely on a healing journey, to become their most highest vibrational self, learning to be more receptive to the energy they're given, learning to allow those around them to give to them and to help fill their cup. Just as V, Tata may have a friend around them that is going through similar struggles that they are learning from. The eagle is a trusted messenger, bringing us both protection and guidance towards the bigger picture, the picture being charity and selfishness, acting in service to others as noted by the tapir, coupled with the warning of being overly submissive told to us by the hen. Tata has a bad habit of possibly submitting too much to others, forgetting themselves in the process. It seems as though this is a childhood wound. perhaps incurred by having to micromanage the world around them for the sake of peace. They are learning that, while being of service and selfishness is a good and necessary trait, that in excess can be detrimental to us in the end. Good luck to them.
Their songs are CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish, BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish, and Normalcy by Gigi Perez.
Songs they want to send to each other
V: Slow Down by Laufey, Lookalike by Conan Gray, Us Without Me by grentperez, rises the moon by Liana Flores, I Know You by Faye Webster (hello?), Drive by SZA.
Tata: WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish, CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish, Real Man by Beabadoobee, Jonny by Faye Webster, Kaleidoscope by rhyu, Second Time by Bruno Major.
Off rip, this energy is vastly different than the other members, probably why he was more hesitant to be first when he usually wants to be first read. Secondly, because of the song, I have a huge inkling that Cooky smells like a light floral yet sweet peach scent, nothing too overwhelming but still noticeable because it compliments their aura. This man is sick, I'm talking sliding down the wall, crying beaucoup boohoo tears, pissin shittin and fartin and throwing up and all that lmao. There seems to be a lot of endings, massive things crashing down upon him, seemingly out of no where. It could be because he, or someone close to him, likely Cooky decided that something within their reality is not worth the amount of effort it takes for something. It seems like some sort of collaborative efforts have been nixed, again forcing this ending and new beginning. It doesn't feel good for him because it involves heavy, heavy grief akin to if someone close to him had died. It's as though this dream, this happy, healthy, bountiful and harmonious life he had envisioned for himself came crashing down around him. It feels as though this is heavily energetically, his physical life seems to be as is, as to be expected but internally and spiritually, boi is going through it through it. It's like he is being kept up at night, possibly experiencing nightmares or night terrors, heavy overthinking, heavy spiraling, heavy worrying. The empress here seems to be an outward energy, possibly Cooky. I get the feeling that he feels abandoned? Let go of? It feels as though the act of facing reality and having a decision be made for him on behalf of him. He feels almost insulted that he's expected to "get over it" and accept something new. This is not something that he wants but he's currently lost his will to fight for it, preferring to reminisce on what was in hopes that it'll be again.
I wanted to look into this a bit more because it felt to open ended to leave it that way. He is really stressed out about his idea of an earthly life not being the way he wanted it to. He has the hope, the power to manifest and create his own reality, but, he- gosh he has no more fight in him for it. He seems to want to accept this bad news as he feels as though there was a rightful loss of opportunity and would rather go with the flow, even though he will have a heavily jaded attitude going forward that he will struggle to hide. He feels as though he is lacking perspective on this situation but, he doesn't possess the ability to think it through and see it for what it is at this current moment. He is heavily imbalanced spiritually and may potentially be indulging in self pity and other vices. He does wish for whoever this queen of wands energy is, possibly Cooky, to have success, even if it is not with him because he knows he needs time to go within himself as well as them to traverse their inner world and face their shadow selves. He does have slight hope that eventually he will be deemed as worthy, given the green light for him to start making his way back into their life. Coming forth with this childlike glee, and swift passionate energy to knock them off their feet. It feels as though he knows this outcome hinges solely on his ability to see from a new perspective, and have a healthy level of detachment.
Well fuck me... Alright so, damn. So he is trying to accept the loss, trying to accept and release the grief but, a huge part that is causing him more grief is the fear that something like this won't ever reach his physical life. He has seen this grow, falter and then die right before his eyes and now he has to let it go and let something or someone new come in and he is- not yet ready to accept it. It was something he put a lot of effort towards, something he dreamt of so much and to see it fizzle out in this way is a grief that is incomparable. I heard "What's the use of having this castle if I have no one to share it with?". It feels like- he feels as though this is just his luck, his destiny. This is all that he is worth and gets, this is how the story goes regardless of what he does in any life. He is really indulging in this grief, like- he doesn't know what to do, where to go, who to turn to. If you've seen Billie Eilish's HIT ME HARD AND SOFT album cover, that is the exact energy I'm getting. He knows he has to come to terms with the fact that he cannot further indulge in this spiritual connection, he has to return to reality, he has to look towards what is in his actually life but- he can't, he just can't, he cannot bring himself to do so. You could hang him upside down as long as you want but, this is not something that he can truly let go of. It's something he feels is so integral to him, something that he will keep chasing until the end of time. He wants to put in the time and effort into this but- he also knows that he needs to move on, that there is no future in this on his terms. He needs to rest, he needs a deep, deep mental and physical rest and break, just enough to get his strength back, enough to get the energy to start rebuilding his idea of his future life again. There is a great aversion to that idea though, it's like my heart is gripped with the grief he feels typing this out. It's like he can't let go, not yet. I saw a plastic bag rolling in the wind and honestly, it was how his energy feels, being tossed around like a ragdoll by the powers that be without much of a say or fight, like a jellyfish in the harsh currents of the ocean. The image I get with the seven of wands and the three of cups reversed is, if it were in his power he would have turned the card up himself, so that he can experience the community, the togetherness, the celebration of union but, instead its all broken engagements he faces. Despite the heavy grief that he faces, he still uses what little energy he has left to hope for and manifest for Cooky to have the love that they deserve, even if he selfishly hopes that it is home. He hopes that they do come across a new love, one that can fill their cup until it over flows, and value them as much as he does, but he also homes that they somehow become aware of this, that they- as he says "can see me spill my guts and know that this is true, I know you feel it intuitively". Throughout this reading there was a fly that was harassing me, like it had no fear of being squished, yet it never got close or stayed long enough for me to squish it. I think that is significant as it feels like part of the reason why this connection has broken is because of interference from those that do not belong within it, trying to get in and peer through.
Salamander teaches us to alchemize our woes, our pains, and experiences while the wolf guides us to our intuition, to silently observe. It may be that all is not what it seems. I'm getting High Priestess and Sphinx energy here, where the answer lies deeply hidden within the riddles. His task is to feel what he feels, learn to alchemize it to power through intention, and reconnect with his intuition. Perhaps this needs a second look. The Kangaroo gives us raw energy, vitality and optimism while the hen teaches us the warnings of submission. I have a feeling that the powers at be want him to find his optimism, and fight with all he has. Funnily enough I'm getting the visual of Kangaroo jack. The universe doesn't want him to give up too easily or else he'll miss out on the okapi energy. I want to note how insane this is because in the deck, Okapi and Eagle are right next to each other so for them to come out together in the same position in a reading is highly auspicious. The Okapi gives us a message of fated meetings, events, or a situation directly tied to the higher meaning of things while eagle is the one who carries this message as the designated spiritual messenger, the protector of the bigger meaning. The most important spiritual saying to remember is, if it is meant for you then it will not pass you and here we are seeing that directly. This is bound to be, it is a fated meeting and it is highly protected, the only ones who can alter that course is Jungkook and Cooky if they give in to the flies around them that is. The giraffe guides jk to have a stable and grounded "delulu is the solulu" energy. The height of the giraffe gives us the ability to see the alligator, a hidden enemy, the need for survival. He must know that someone or something is not what it seems, I have a feeling that this is the other energy trying to butt in. His intuition knows what is right, so does Cooky's, they just have to trust and follow that guidance. To close off this part of the reading, with Tapir and Cardinal, it seems as though his spiritual team wants him to step out there, they want him to act in service of others, sharing the messages and knowledge he has as it helps him to connect more to his intuition and to the spiritual visitors. This is a good note to end the reading on
His songs are First love/Late spring by Mitski, Go Solo by Tom Rosenthal, Meet Me in the City by Lord Huron, When the Night is Over by Lord Huron, The Wisps Sings by Winter Aid, Life in the City by The Lumineers, Male Fantasy by Billie Eilish heavily, The Beach by The Neighbourhood, Sally by Gigi Perez, Your Best American Girl by Mitski insanely heavily, Chest Pain (I Love) by Malcolm Todd.
Damn near half the muhfuggin deck came out omfg if you wanted a private feature you could've asked??? Okay... Let's get this bread my god. So holy fuck ok I'm overwhelmed lmao. So they are currently doing their absolute best to manage, balance, and juggle everything that is currently going on in there life. They were close to dropping some balls (hehe) but they've got everything handled as of right now, they could've have chosen to purposefully let go of one of the balls (hehe) as it was something that did not align with them and caused more stress and dissconnection. However, it seems as though they are still terrified of and refusing to let go of the things that do not serve them entirely. It's giving an dependent attachment to someone, something, or an energy. It feels as though, them not being able to overcome their fears of abandonment, commitment, moving on, as well as not faking their happiness is preventing a major opportunity from coming in for them. It's like they are their own worse enemy here. I get the feeling that there is something in their energy that wants to come in but, they can't really accept or grasp it which is causing this impatient energy within them. They're missing out on a lot of opportunities here because they are too scared, cowardly. It's as though they don't trust this thing that- is genuinely very trusting, open and honest because they are white knuckling things that are meant to keep them grounded. It's giving preferring to hold onto the cinder blocks the mafia gave them to sleep with the fishes than to let go and swim away because they were friends before. It's like they'd rather hold onto what they know rather than experiencing something new because they don't want to experience being hurt again but in a way are hurting themselves and limiting themselves even more. They are making slow, slow progress regardless, making their way into calmer waters, healing very, very slowly however, they are still closing their heart off to this emotional journey. They want to rush forward, overcome the humps, but without going through the journey. It's like wanting to pick and choose what they experience but life isn't about choices or control, it's about flow.
They for sure need to rest themselves, it seems here that they have been over thinking about a lot of things, especially what it means to heal. To them it kind of feels like a betrayal to those who have given to them before, those who have "selflessly" poured into them, as though they are turning their backs on those people which makes them feel as though healing and and of itself is not worth it funnily enough. It's like- this raw energy, this passion, this creative energy that has been with them and in them, innate since the day they were born is trying to make itself clear to them, as if wanting them to take up the mantle but- there is an avoidance, a hesitation because of prior loyalty. It reads as thought they are trying to convince themselves that they are fine, that they don't need this thing and are okay without it but- they are not, it leaves them so unbalanced and disconnected to their grounded earth energy. They really need to know that it is okay to let go, it is okay to move on, it is okay to let the house you spent months building crumble down only leaving you with two support beams left because there is something waiting for them. If they claim to not care about jk or what's going on with him, they are either lying or very very good at hiding it. I see here that they thought they had left this all behind but they catch themselves thinking back to it, back to what it was and how they felt, back to who they say themselves as during then. It's as though, they saw themselves truly for who they are without the shadows but- they believe that that is something that just can't happen, that it is something that they must let go of.
That they are strong enough to or that they will be stronger for it but- that is foolish. Instead it's just them avoiding taking that leap of faith, them avoiding the new energy, avoiding unleashing these heavy ass burdens from themselves. I get the image of them carrying the bundle of wands and the bundle of wands being so heavy it digs into their shoulders, tearing the skin and impaling them with splinters over and over again. They won't let go even if their shoulders are wore down to the bone. They feel as though this is the way to be stable, productive, a functioning member of society but, this is not the way. It is not what fulfills them, it's what traps them like Sisyphus. They need to go within themselves, I see that sometimes they do, and sometimes they do see a glimmer, a glimpse of Jk but they get spooked and run away. They need their time to take it slow, to come back to who they are and to let him in again but- again the thought of this scares them beyond belief, enough to cause them to over think about having to let go of things, about having to let what does not serve them truly die, having to over come the betrayal and realize that this is not the life that they deserved or hoped for since a young age. They fear that they will have to stop the current journey they are on but, wrong. This journey takes them to where they are meant to be, however the energy becomes free and untangled, capable of speeding up once they integrate this part of their journey and life with themselves and who they truly are. It opens a new doorway, it brings forth a bright new loving beginning, only if they can surrender to being the empress, surrender to being the one in power rather than the one being taking advantage of. Their idea of a happy home and happy life needs to be dismantled all the way to the ground and rebuilt and it seems as though the longer they wait, the more painful it is.
Girl, bffr. So, they are jaded, they are unable to view this situation as clearly as possible because they cannot look past the hurt that they've faced in relation to Jk but not by Jk. It seems as they need a self evaluation, rather than judging the situation, they should judge themselves honestly and truthfully, they'd see that something is not what it seems. It seems here that they don't want to work with others, they'd rather solo this mission but- that leads to the tower. Isolation never helps, it hurts more, we as humans are social creatures, we are animals that will go mad without connection. It's funny to see the tower and the six of swords together as in tarot it is widely believed that the six of swords follows the tower and depicts us getting out of dodge after fleeing the crumbling tower. I have a feeling that if they don't make the choice to flee the tower will crumble around them. I wonder if they realize that all is not fine, that there is something in their reality that is begging for their attention, their choice, from a mature and non judgmental or jaded position. From a place of intuition and love, as well as emotional maturity. They must face the lack of communication, they will have to turn the wheel themselves to favor their journey if they want to. It seems as though the emperor here is an outside energy, possibly Jk sitting and waiting, letting the garden grow and prosper in preparation for the empress's arrival however, it seems here that the empress is hellbent on being imbalanced. They seem to be hellbent on indulging in their own shadows because they cannot for the life of them envision a reality where someone comes into their life with pure intentions and stable offerings as well as the ability to reflect and change their wrong doings. They'd rather cling to the edge of a crumbling cliff, to eventually fall off said cliff into abyss than to make a leap of faith to the other side. They must address within themselves why they are preventing a passionate journey full of creation and joy for themselves. The key lays with the Hierophant, the Hierophant inside of them. This would be a wish come true if only they'd accept it. It feels as though they want someone to get mad at them, yell at them, force them to do this but- no one is going to do that, it is their choice whether they choose this or not. The universe, their gods are loving and will never be mad at them for not doing something and force them to repent. It is in their hands.
In this deck, the world encourages us traverse the shadow realm, to do our shadow work, and unearth our power while the moose warns us of incoming obstacles and giving something too much power. When you see a moose in real life, their massive size is something that you cannot forget, they are formidable and to Cooky, the act of doing shadow work is akin to staring a moose in the eye. They are giving their fears, their worries, their oppressors too much power over them. The lizard forces us to realize the cycles we are repeating and the lessons we are learning while the crab tells us the lesson. The lesson being self protection, boundaries, teaching others how to treat us. Cooky needs to learn this lesson or else they are doomed to repeat it until they get it, in bigger and bigger ways. It seems to be a pattern in their life currently. They need to stand up and teach themselves what their boundaries truly are, and to teach others how to properly treat them. The shadow person is our unrecognized self that the mallard shows us in our dreams. I wouldn't be surprised if Cooky still gets dreams about their current challenges. These things will seep into our dreams if we ignore our subconscious. The cardinal brings the final message along with the swallow, that they are being watched over lovingly, guided through the last steps on their journey, to have hope and be optimistic, to trust that everything will be alright, that if they take that leap of faith, the hands of their ancestors and spirit guides will rise to catch their feet and carry them to the other side.
Their songs are, Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan and Hozier, See You Again by Tyler, The Creater ft Kali Uchis "Can I get a kiss, and can you make it last for ever? I said I'm about to go to war and I don't know if Imma see you again", Love Like Ghosts by Lord Huron "You don't want me baby please dont lie, oh but if you're leaving then I gotta know why", would've been you by sombr, I know it won't work by Gracie Abrams, ocean eyes by Billie Eilish, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift, The Man by Gigi Perez, Me and My Husband by Mitski, Noid Tyler, The Creator.
Songs they want to send to each other
Jungkook: Washing Machine Heart by Mitski, Yonkers by Tyler, The Creator, Fool For Love by Lord Huron, I Hate U by SZA, We Fell in Love in October by girl in red, Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars.
Cooky: The Man by Gigi Perez, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE by Tyler, The Creator, Thnks fr th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy, July by Noah Cyrus, Cursed Lord Huron, MILK OF THE SIREN by Melanie Martinez.
So, a fly flew past me and flies are associated with having eyes on you so he might have a bunch of flies around him, people too much in his energy and his grill. Hmm, it feels like he himself has no idea whats going on in his life it's like he's just happy to be here lmao. On a good note, it seems like he is both happy but sad about this lull in work. It seems as though he has somewhat elevated to "grandpa" status a bit early, finding little things to do, little projects around the house but nothing really towards his career. He feels rather accomplished with what he has but it does feel like he kind of misses the work, the action, the schedule. He doesn't however miss the burdens that come with it. He seems to be enjoying the peace and quiet. However, because he's given this ample time to fuck around, he's wondering when the find out is gonna happen. It seems as though, in the midsts of this "not a thought behind those eyes" energy, there are, in fact, thoughts. Many of them. He might be confused, unsure of where he is going, possibly having a bit too much focus or attention on either what went on in his life in the past, or what will be coming to his life in the future, while he is trying to draw his attention to the present to be present. Regardless of that, he is moving forward, but with all this swords energy here, he's so entirely in his head- it's like "i'm just here for the ride" is more like "I have to be here for the ride because I'm too in my head to take myself there" for him. Have you ever seen a video of him staring off into space like he forgot he exist? Yeah, that is him but that lil ol noggin of his is filled with worries, anxieties, and what ifs. Because of this, he might be experiencing creative blocks, perhaps he might be mentally trying to rush himself to come out of this energy, not wanting to feel somewhat destitute anymore but- in order to do that he kind of- has to reach out to someone and explain to them whats going on. I think, partially, one of the things that is bothering him is the direction he's taking regarding Shooky. I'm interested in seeing what Shooky has going on to get a better feel for this energy. It feels like he's aware of the possibilities but doesn't know who it'll be. It feels like he wants to have authority over this, as- it is his life. He feels as though he knows what would be best, that he is fair and logical in his judgements but- he has yet to realize it's not just about him. Especially with the four of cups depicting a person being given the ace of cups but refusing to take it because it's not what they wanted. It's this slightly stubborn energy here. It's like he feels as though he spent a lot of energy, a lot of work pouring into one avenue and now he's having to decide whether it's worth it to continue to gamble on this horse or to call it quits. In the end, he doesn't want conflict, he just hopes he can be strong enough to draw whatever this is to a close.
World rx, 10oC, AoS rx, 5oS, Magician rx, 10oP rx, Moon rx, 9oS rx, 7oC rx, KnoW rx, PoP, 9oW rx, 3oW rx, Star rx, 7oP rx, Death rx, 4oS rx, Hanged man.
Me: Trouble in paradise? Him: NO :< lmao. So, he wants to make it abundantly clear that, despite whatever he may be facing, it is all a part of the journey to a stable and healthy emotional connection with his counterpart. Even though he isn't exactly clear on whatever is going on, he is surrendering to the energy and the process. Even though in this instance he has no exact power over the circumstances at hand, even if the energy is unstable and he is uncertain of whether or not this will result in the future he hopes for, he is aware that it is mostly his fears and insecurities speaking here. He is aware that, for the most part, it is mainly anxiety creating illusion. He is aware that, with time this too shall past, and he'll be able to see clearer, that reality will hit him and he will know what to do and be able to make that choice. He has accepted though, that as of right now his feelings are mostly anxiety, possibly jealousy. I'm seeing the "is this a butterfly?" meme. As of right now though, he is focusing on the good things in his reality such as the time he has to himself, letting himself surrender to being jostled about in the energy. He seems to be stably unstable lmao, he's just enjoying his time being home, not yet ready to return to city girl life as of yet. He is still worried, still afraid that this is something he is going to have to release, let go of, that he has done everything he could in regards to the energy but it is proving unfruitful. He's not quite ready to let go yet, so he is hoping he doesn't have to, that he can rise to the occasion soon. It seems as though, he still has a lot to consider, the position of the hanged man is a rough one, being strung upside down until a new perspective is found is harsh. Good luck to him.
Unicorns are about synchronicities, magic, special things while tigers exude opulence and carnal desires. It seems as though something super special, super important, something that has him spellbound is on its way to him. Something that feeds his hunger and carnal desires, something that encourages him to revel in the luxuries he's created himself. The snake is associated with the divine feminine and kundalini, spiritual awakenings and healing while the hawk gives us intelligence, independence, adaptability and clarity. It feels as though, because he is going through some sort of awakening, he might not be seeing things as clearly as he wants to and our boi is fully aware of that. He's allowing himself to shed his skin and old beliefs so that his eyes are no longer covered in scaly dead skin. As said before, swallow is a sign that the journey is coming to an end, skunk is to remind us that there are alternative solutions, and kangaroo is regarded for it's vitality. It to me, reads as though he might be on the shore of this new phase, new cycle in his life, one that is going to need an alternative solution to land, but once it lands, he'll feel as though he's gotten his life back.
Hmmm, for them, they might be experiencing a lot of technical issues, possibly affecting their communication. Either their email got hacked or they were locked out, forgot the password, it's been storming in their area and it's affecting the power, their mail being intercepted or going undelivered. Other than that, they could also be experiencing halts in other things, perhaps they are trying to cook a meal but they have to handle something family related first, that kind of delay. Regardless of that, they seem to be in a very grounded and stable energy, one that is rather secure, and perhaps a bit sneaky and strategic. Considering that judgement in the reversed is here, they may be sneaking out at night if you catch my drift. Not that they are living like a teenager and sneaking out to meet their friends literally, just the energy of possibly doing something they know they aren't supposed to be doing. The five transitioning to the two of pentacles to me is very interesting because in traditional tarot the five of cups is depicted as someone overlooking three of there cups that have fallen over while only two remain, and the two of cups is- well two cups lmao. To me it reads as though they are going through a period of a lot of loss, a lot of releasing, a lot of letting go in order to call in this exchanging of cups. They must free themselves of whatever mental and emotional prison they have locked themselves up in, take a chance on themselves and let themself make the slow burn progress they need without rushing themself. It seems as though there is something that they decided is not worth being in their energy anymore, that they are going to take the final stand and see this energy through and out the door. They are no longer standing for betrayal or people who intentionally build up their trust only to stab them in their back. They've learned their worth and who they are and they are going to properly express it. They are no longer over giving, no longer draining themselves of much needed assets for others who clearly do not deserve it. It is a difficult thing to do but they are managing themselves well, taking their time without being so harsh. They are balancing out their energy, juggling as much as they can without over doing it, focussing on having and creating a harmonious life and future for themselves with someone that is in the same energy as them. They want to celebrate and work with their equal on creating that long lasting generational wealth so that they may share it or pass it on to possible future children. This wealth could be financial or, that deep unshakable stability that can provide comfort and stable new beginnings and life for generations. Although things may suck for the both of them at the moment, everything is and will be fine.
So... They too are really unbalanced about this, perhaps they feel overwhelmed and over flowing in some areas related to Suga. The pentacles cards being reversed feels like a confirmation of said instability, as well as potential blockages here. However, the two of wands here suggest that Shooky is well aware of it, that they are capable of deducing what is wrong based on the past and by peering into the potentiality of the future. It is possible that they are a reader as well. Despite this though, they are still experiencing some anxious thoughts, perhaps struggling to sleep at night because of this. The devil reversed indicates that they may succumb to their own demons from time to time, perhaps being in that head of theres is more appealing than being present in their life. Perhaps they think being kept up in that head of theres, on autopilot is a faster way to come out of the energy they are experiencing. They might want to make hasty decisions in hopes of attaining this connection but all that does is put them in this energy of lack and force themselves to slow down. They must decide if the moons reflection in the pond is real or if the one in the sky is. It's all about perspective yes, and both comes with it's dangers, but one is a primordial being that can guide you anywhere you go with it's light. It seems here that they might agree with me that Suga needs to stand up and remember who the fuck he is lmao. It's like they are very conscious of the problems he is facing, more conscious than their own. It's a cute dynamic of support and encouragement but- in the effort of doing so they forget themselves and forget that this path is one of collaborative efforts. Together, they achieve more than apart. They have a great dynamic that works really well with each other, true ebb and flow, yin and yang, Tui and La. They'll be alright.
Awwww, poor thing, this is some terribly rough energy to be in. The cub is in response to this decks Bear card which is mother energy, the lizard is repeating cycles and unlearned lessons. The hermit crab reminds us of the necessity to withdraw, introspect, explore ones inner landscape and grow whereas rooster is a dominant and oppressive energy. The jellyfish reminds us of the importance of flow, where the goose warns us of upcoming dangers and territorial nature. Lastly the cardinal is a companion from beyond the veil. My heart goes out to them. I'll try to keep it as vague as possible but, what I'm getting from this reading and later confirmed through the song is that, Shooky has a tumultuous relationship with a maternal figure. So much so that they've felt abandoned and uncared for, having to both parent and reparent themselves. These types of wounds don't disappear overnight, they pick at you from time to time which leads us into the lizard energy, the energy of repeating cycles and lessons, unlearning lessons. It seems as though they've been caught in a cycle, having to sacrifice a limb to break free each time. With hermit crab, it is painfully obvious that this is an energy that they need to break free from once and for all. It is absolutely imperative that they withdraw and seek solace somewhere else, lest they allow their only protection to be chipped away in an environment where that could be a death sentence. Flowing into the rooster energy, in this deck, the hen is in response to the rooster. TMI but, hens are so detrimentally submissive that if a rooster comes by they will assume mating position so much so that it can actually be damaging to their health. With the added dynamic of a clearly oppressive maternal figure, it is possible that this is a dynamic that one does not want to be in. It seems here, with the jellyfish, rather than being submissive they've adapted to be akin to a jellyfish, allowing the ocean currents to guide them wherever so it may. It seems as though this false sense of security and truce is now coming to an end. With goose being known for their ferocity and hostility, it's best to get out of dodge before the goose decides to attack. Lastly is cardinal, they are not alone in this, constantly being guided by their spirit team, ancestors and possibly even the energy of Suga as well. Good luck to them.
Their song is Glue by Gigi Perez.
Songs they want to send to each other
Suga: Kill for Your Love by Labrinth, Feels like by Gracie Abrams, Believe by Caamp, Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran, Halley's Comet by Billie Eilish, Homesick by Noah Kahan
Shooky: Wait by the River by Lord Huron, CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish (I'm noticing a theme here, gonna do another in depth on them), Afraid by The Neighbourhood, Royals by Lorde, All the Pretty Girls by KALEO, Drive by SZA.
He seems to be doing really good! He's taking a break from doing anything work wise, learning wise, journey wise, and really enjoying the fruits of his labor and his time off. He's resting as much as he can currently because he has plans on being busy in the future- I got the strongest craving for Trinidadian macaroni pie mid reading so perhaps he's exploring and indulging in foods, I'm envious. It seems as though he has decided to walk away or step away from anything romantic for the time being, I heard "I've seen the light" which leads me to believe he has seen whoever he was with for their true colors and decided that that is not what he wants and is taking a break to be himself, to stabilizing himself. I do see he does have a bit of a fear and anxious thoughts about not having anyone around if he is ever in need but, he is showing up as the emperor, someone who is highly capable and often is surrounded by a good support system. He seems to be taking things slow, taking his time, wanting to be with himself and within himself
Fucking love this for him. He successfully put an end to a third party energy that did not align with him or what he wanted. It seemed as though this energy did try to force things to fit where they did not, so did he, but he has successfully nipped it in the bud. That person is probably having a hard time accepting it, and he himself is a little jaded but man, he feels a whole lot better after it. He's very much in a healing and releasing energy, spending more time with friends and actually giving and caring to those around him. He's in a "protecting my energy" sort of mood!
The shadow person is our unrecognized self, the swallow is a sign to weary sailors that they are almost home. This to me reads as though he is almost to the bottom of the deepest darkest parts of himself and that is genuinely amazing. He is healing, loving himself, learning himself and apparently, almost home! The goat is a sign of untapped potential, fertility, virility and stubbornness while the squirrel prepares us for the future, encouraging work life balances. Goodness this is such good energy, probably the only one having a good time atm lmao. He's in a preparation stage, he is setting himself up and his life up for the future, creating a good work life balance while tapping into the deepest parts of himself and awakening abilities he never knew he had. The swan is the ultimate visage of soulmates and connections, the pigeon reminds us to have situational awareness, to know our way back home and to be in the present moment. I have no other way to say this but this man knows where his home is, he knows where his heart and his soulmate is and he is not going to get caught up in situationships that he knows won't last. He is staying in the present so that he does not miss this moment.
His songs are Mean It by Gracie Abrams, Love by Lana Del Rey, I Lied by Lord Huron and Allison Ponthier, I Has Some Help by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen, party favor by Billie Eilish, Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish.
They seem to have recently made a choice, for better or worse, not letting themselves me blinded by indecision or fear. They've been facing the anxiety that they feel in a somewhat defensive energy. Perhaps they are dealing with a bit of gossip by being super blunt and cut throat about it. This is helping them move away from something that has been troubling them for quite some time, allowing them to step in their power, their passion, their verve and creativity, allowing themselves to be the hottie they are. They've let that house of cards fall, they have willingly let go and walked away from a path that does not serve them, one that brought them more trouble than what it was worth. They're released the burden and are now spending their energy defending and believing in something they know is for them and that they know is worth it. They may be feeling a bit of doubt or opposition though, hence the seven of wands present. They will get some sort of divine message, divine confirmation, something that they literally cannot ignore or deny as much as they try to. This is a manifestation of all their hopes and dreams as much as they don't want to believe it. It seems as though they are the type of person that when they get what they want, they become afraid to take it but, this is their justice, their reward for going through what they did.
"I don't wanna say too much" proceeds to drop 25% of my deck... So, I'll keep this as brief as possible. This is incredibly healing, incredibly rejuvenating, forcing them to see things from all kinds of perspectives, causing them to come to complete stops and check in with themselves. It seems as though either they too have left a relationship not meant for them or they are aware of Jin leaving his and are in this active waiting energy, preparing for their ships to dock or to travel themselves. They are and are seeking balance and reciprocal energy, the ability to build from the bottom up, not on the foundations set by others. They are definitely heading towards each other with such speed, dropping their vices and unhealed energy along the way. They have spent a lot and I mean a lot of time releasing themselves from this mental prison they've enforced on their self and they are so ready to experience this victory, this moment of recognition they've been waiting for. This is something that they deem important to protect as it was revealed unto them by someone of high spiritual standing. They are still releasing their binds, releasing their burdens and worries, letting themselves open up and be vulnerable and loving. They're healing their inner child, letting themselves fall deeply in love with life again. This is so utterly deserved, definitely after all they've been through.
Hawk, Cub, Mallard, Squirrel, Lion.
The hawk gives us intelligence, independence, clarity and allows us to adapt while the cub is all about the inner child. It seems as though they may harbor some resentments about having to grow up faster than their peers which is a valid feeling but, the hawk warns us that all is not what it seems. I have a feeling that they should definitely have a talk with their parents especially since there were two songs in Jin's part of the reading that mentioned talking to their partners parents and somehow seamlessly transitions into each other. The mallards call awakens our subconscious and our dreams while the squirrel encourages us to prepare for the future with a healthy work life balance, while the lion shows us pride through the divine masculine and father. To me it reads as though they have been having a lot of dreams about this, innumerable dreams about Jin, their connection, and their relationship with their parents and growing up. They may have to address what the divine masculine and what fatherhood means to them in order to properly prepare for their future. Good luck to them.
Their songs are Figurines by Gigi Perez, Fireworks by Mitski, The A Team by Ed Sheeran, Ancient Names, Pt. I by Lord Huron, Bird cage blue and yellow by Yaeklore, Lets Fall in Love for the Night by FINNEAS.
Songs they want to send to each other
Jin: When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, A Pearl by Mitski, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore (the fly is back), Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, WHAT'S GOOD by Tyler the Creator, Third of May/ Ōdaigahara by Fleet Foxes
Rj: Flowers by Faye Webster ft Father, Loving Is Easy by Rex Orange County ft Benny Sings, My Vine by Wasia Project, Home by Bruno Major, rises the moon by Liana Flores
So, ha, he's in a good but longing energy. Anytime I do a reading and a Hozier song is involved, it instantly takes the yearning to a level catastrophic- specifically this one. There might have been something in his physical life that is drawing more of his attention, away from something or someone he cares about which to him, is bad news bears. Thankfully though, it is giving him time to turn within the self, possibly meditating more often, focusing on things that give him hope, his northern star. I get a tired energy from him, possibly from the touring and traveling. He could be in a position where he may be needing some help, but those around him are unable to help him in the way he needs. Those around him can help him financially if so be it but- in reality he wants to release the "burden of his passions" so to speak... I get the feeling that if he is able to have this... releasing energy... it might actually cause him to spiral so he's being- pent up... on purpose lmfao. He knows what he wants and he is refusing and also is unaccepting of anything unlike it. He may be experiencing a but of doubt but, he knows where his pride and contentment lay, where his achievements will reside so he is taking great stride to work hard, doubly hard for it. Man is on a mission. Considering how private he is, this is a shock lmao.
Alright, I heard "mah angel, mon cherie (≧▽≦)" how cute lol. It may seem that he feels currently that him and Mang may be at odds in the sense that they might be juggling with a lot at the moment which isn't really allowing them to connect which then turns him into somewhat of this lovesick puppy that whines until their human comes home lmao. He may be victim to the accursed doomscrolling on social sites when in this energy. When it comes to Mang though, even though he may experience some doubt, his pathway is clear. Even if it doesn't make sense, is unstable, or he loses all his money he chooses to hold in, kind of like Jimin and hoarding his treasures. It's as though, even if the wheel changes and fate has another plan, he will work to the bone to realign to the current energy of Mang. He could be offered many different options, choices, pathways in life, but if it is not what and who he wants, he is simply not doing it. The universe could cry blood asking him to shift and he would not care, he is a man that knows exactly what he wants. He wants to be the one that holds and heals their heart, and gives them the strength to continue.
Whitetail, Turkey, Bear, Hippo, Mallard.
OOF this is strong lmao. The whitetail heralds a rebirth, walking us through the process while turkey encourages us to dive into our primal instincts. It seems as though our boi is going through a deep rebirth, taking on a new form of himself that has always been there but wrapped up in the frond of others expectations of him. This rebirth is intrinsically tied to his wild and primal side. The bear is the mother, reparenting oneself while hippo is the abundance, reaping of rewards and indulgence, It seems as though this rebirth was spurred on by him either reconnecting or connecting deeper to a maternal person in his life and sequentially the maternal energy within him. This is allowing him to indulge and enjoy more than what he has before with this broader view. Lastly, the mallard guides us into the subconscious mind, into the dream state. His dreams must be wild as all hell, expansive and exploratory. It is possible he is getting his signs through the dreams he has.
His song is First Time by Hozier. Cheeky little thing snuck in Adore You by Harry Styles
It seems as though they are in both the student and the teacher position here. They seem to be someone that has answers that come from both experience and a divine place, to which they are always learning and sharing what they learn. I'm more specifically drawn to the keys at the feet of the Hierophant and the scepter as well as positioning of the Hierophants hands. In traditional tarot, the scepter is a symbol reserved for the pope which indicates spiritual authority. The keys unlock spiritual enlightenment and the consciousness of the subconscious. The two fingers are related to the magicians posture, encouraging one to live practically through ideals as well as acknowledging divide and union. It seems as though Mang is a highly spiritual force of nature. Someone who knows their shit and is not one to be trifled with. It seems as though they may be experiencing some misfortune in familial life, something that left them feeling disempowered, as though they were being heavily scrutinized, over criticized. This is an energy that they have personally closed out and moved away from, they have released the burdens placed onto them by others and refuse to pick them back up. The wool has been removed from their eyes and they see as clear as the new telescope NASA launched. That doesn't mean that they are immune to doubt, anxiety and general low times, but they are someone who can and will bounce back with the force of ten million suns.
This energy is giving me the feeling of post concert blues a little bit. It to me reads as though they are also very clear about what they want both in regards to J-Hope and in life in general. While they may be open to experiencing new things, there are some things that are near and dear to their heart that they refuse to accept a lesser version of it. This gives me the feeling of someone who'd fully curse out their spirit team for "playing in their face" so to speak. They too seem to be experiencing a serious lull, some heavy doubt about this, as well as a terrible sense of longing- as though their heart is being pulled by an invisible string. They may currently be feeling as though they are bogged down by a lot of things in live, however they are surrendering to the notion because while they are aware that that is the natural due process and order of things. They are aware that, ultimately in the end, they are in charge of their path and their journey, and that their passion for this and for him is what keeps it going, They've already over come so much throughout their journey, they're not going to let a small hiccup slow them down. They are ready, willing and capable of walking away from all that they've built if it no longer serves them, but in this case, they are more than ready to take that next step. It's just a matter of divine timing of when that door opens up and that opportunity comes rolling in. Until then, they are forced to take it slow, to focus on the mundane and be present in their life.
Frog, Swan, Turtle, Penguin, Tapir, Goat.
The frog reminds us of the importance of our spiritual hygeine, how important it is to cleanse the space around us and ourself as well as our energy, and swan is an auspicious symbol of soulmates, a divine connection within another. At this current moment, Mang is being encouraged to and is cleansing their spiritual space and practice, resetting their altars, cleansing their cards, and most importantly cleansing their mind and their spirit, they are releasing the old and what no longer serves to make space for the new that the swan heralds. It may be important for them at this time to have a good cry in the shower, one that is ugly yet releasing and empowering, one that you fall into a deep ass nap after words and wake up like you got transported to the year 3005. Have I said this before? No? Then I'm gonna say it again, I fucking love it when the cards confirm intuitive pings :) The turtle is about patience, allowing divine timing to take its place, while the penguin connects us to family, close relationships and our social life. They are being reminded once again that patience is a virtue, and that they should reach out to their support system for comfort and- well support lol. Suffering in silence gets one nothing but silent pain. The tapir reminds us the value of acting in service to others, curbing our selfishness while the goat reminds us of our untapped potential, our fertility (creativity), virility as well as stubbornness. To me, this reads as Mang already being a rather giving person, someone who would donate to charity when they can, someone who strongly supports moral causes, however, with the addition of the goat, it seems to me that they have barely tapped the surface of their greatness. Perhaps they are trapped in the mindset of being of service to others, stubbornly avoiding the service of themselves. I get the feeling that this untapped potential within them has something to do with things being readily available within their reach but this stubborn energy of the goat preventing them from reaching out. Good luck to them
Their song is Please be Rude by Gigi Perez
Songs they want to send to each other
J-Hope: WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish, U Deserve by Wasia Project, Nomad by Clairo, She Won't Go Away by Faye Webster, Feels Like a Dream by Rocco, Sign by Liana Flores.
Mang: Landslide (Remastered) by Fleetwood Mac, Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, my future by Billie Eilish, The View Between Villages by Noah Kahan, Sunlight by Hozier, Chemistry by Gigi Perez.
Rm:
Everything is fine, 3oW rx, 9oS, 8oS rx, 6oP rx, 9oC rx, PoS rx, KNoP, 3oP, 4oP rx, KnoC, 4oS rx, PoC, PoP rx, 6oS, 10oS, 2oS, 10oW, KoP rx.
So, everything is definitely not fine. It is giving defeatist, "I'll just lay here and hurt thank you". There is an air of feeling as though there isn't much of anything worth waiting for anymore, guy really wants to go home. He is not enjoying his time, he barely gets much sleep if he even sleeps, if his mind gives him a break from the constant cycle of over thinking and thinking about all the worst case scenarios. It feels as though he is trying to battle that by being more selfish with his energy and himself but it doesn't feel like himself, he doesn't feel as though he is achieving anything worth noting where he is currently physically and emotionally. I get the feeling with the page of swords reversed, he might've gotten some news that really upset him, but theres this acceptance energy? "I can't force it/you"? Regardless of that, he is taking his time day by day, the knight of pentacles is slow moving grounded energy. With the three of pentacles, he could be working alongside a group of people or specific person. Perhaps seeking counseling to overcome and let go of these things that took more precedent in his life than himself. It reads as though these are the practical steps he's taking to be able to offer a romantic proposition to someone or to better connect with himself and emotions. Honestly with the four of swords in the reversed position as the energy of coming out of inactivity and a restful period and going into an action based one it does seem like it is towards a person, possibly Koya. It feels as though this is a new energy, someone he has yet to meet? It seems as though the blockage to this is rooted in a lack of groundwork, a lack of following through and not seizing opportunities, perhaps a lot of bad news in earthly matters such as finances or health as well. He is trying his best to get the hell outta dodge, to heal slowly but- he is still overcome with grief and sadness at some sort of betrayal he felt. It seems as though this is something locked away deep inside of him that he is too afraid? to let out? He'd rather bare the weight of the burden as though it is his sacred duty. Even though it is actively working against his innate grounded and stable persona and aura.
As I said before, it feels as though this energy is coming out of stagnancy, it is coming out of storage. It seems that something here is mending, there is a lot of releasing, of oneself and especially the control of the self or imposed by another. It's like this expectation they had of themselves, Koya and Rm, are being released, purposefully, selfishly and somewhat violently purged from themselves. Their are many options afford to them, but it takes too much time and effort to choose? So they're going buckwild and trying to seize every opportunity afforded to them, again coming out of inaction, diving straight into action, releasing the anxiety, the fear, they had to break down in order to build back up I suppose. It's a new era for them both and they are taking massive leaps of faith towards each other. There is a lot of effort being made in earthly matters, it feels like some sort of teamwork but on opposite poles. It seems as though for either one or both of them, their childhood traumas are causing them significant delays, possibly causing one of them to stall quite a bit. Thankfully they are both letting go of the past, resolving their childhood issues and maturing further in these aspects. One or both of them might be leaving from their home soon. There is a lot of new energy here waiting to come through the door but, you can't fit anything new in a closet full of junk so they're clearing out all of that energy for these new things. It isn't easy, there is a lot of attachment to these things as suggested in the eight of cups in the reversed position, there is some fears of moving on and fears of commitment to certain things on both sides. Regardless, he is hoping for the both of them, mainly Koya to prosper, to profit, to elevate themselves and social status for their own wellbeing. I get the feeling that he has come to terms with the fact that he cannot create a new generation by himself which- nvm...
He wants for someone to be emotionally mature enough to not be shaken by whatever might be said in the press, someone who can use their intuition to tell when something is wrong. However it seems that he is aware that is a bit unreasonable as that person would be akin to an unhealed queen of wands, someone who is very harsh in their punishments and jaded as all hell from past pains. He really wants a happy ending, a happy home life, the ability to cross the ocean and offer this proposal, to celebrate a successful union but- he feels like he is being too imposing, coming off too strong and controlling? I feel as though he might be scared of scaring off Koya, making them feel insecure anxious, and unstable which throws them off balance and off their game. He fears that it affects them to the point of it causing delays, creative blocks, kind of like spooking a turtle back in their shell. However, he knows that this is mostly his anxious thoughts overstepping, kind of like getting carried away within the thralls of an intrusive thought storm. He's doing what he can, with what he has practiced and mastered to go within and illuminate the shadows, mustering up as much strength as he can because he feels as though this isn't over and was possibly unfairly judged?
The cardinal is a sign that we have divine visitors, angelic presences, love, divination, empathy, devotion and passion while the bear is mother energy, reparenting oneself. It seem as though he is healing himself and reparenting himself through connecting to important spiritual figures in his life and beyond. I have the feeling he could be mainly connecting with a grandmother spirit that really helps him especially in his connection to Koya. Funnily enough to get swan in a reading is to be made aware of your soulmate connections, whereas the jellyfish remind us to release our expectations and go with the flow. It seems as though he has a specified focus on a divine connection with someone, highly likely Koya as there are two cards pointing towards spiritual soulmate connections. He currently is and needs to work with his spiritual team to learn how to go with the flow, to minimize damage to his sensitive parts by minimizing the friction created when trying to go against the flow of the ocean currents. The elephant warns us of obstacles yet reminds us of our strength, wisdom and endurance where as kangaroos revive our raw energy, vitality and optimism. To overcome the obstacle at hand, he must remember his own strength, tap into his raw energy and vitality, tackle the obstacle head on and regain his sense of optimism. The penguin reminds us of our family and close relationships while the goat awakens our untapped potential, virility, fertility, and sometimes stubbornness. Now is a time for him to spend as much time as he can with those who replenish him for there is yet parts of himself to be unlocked to reach the true peak of who he is.
His songs are deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo, Getting Older by Billie Eilish, Still by Noah Kahan, Kill For You by Gigi Perez, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski, DOGTOOTH by Tyler, The Creator, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore, I Will Be Back One Day by Lord Huron, Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey) by The Weeknd, Congratulations by Post Malone ft Quavo, Good Days by SZA, watch by Billie Eilish, Why by Sabrina Carpenter, When She Smiles by Gigi Perez.
I smelled mothballs as soon as I started to shuffle, they might have mothballs around or they've been seeing a lot of moths around them and their home, possible a child of Hekate. What I'm reading from this is that they had a heavy bout of doubt, it seems as though there was a message that was trying to get through to them that they could not receive as they were too lost within the fog of their own mind. Heavily dealing with creative blocks and failures, falling for misinformation, possibly making several wrong decisions along the way. Damn poonks :/ Anywho, they experienced a really heavy loss- to them but it was basically them sobbing and crashing out over spilt milk but it was still something that was serious to them. It left them feeling as though all of the work that they put in wasn't worth it, all those long hours and late nights amounted to nothing seemingly, leading them to feel like their future was in jeopardy... seemingly. Everything turned out somewhat fine, they dusted themselves off and kept it pushing. You know that tiktok sound of female rage? Yeah, that was them except only screaming that slows down to jelly fish jam from Spongebob. They restarted their journey from where it left off but with more intention, using their past experiences as stepping stools and guide marks of where not to step. It seems as thought this crash out was part of a rift between Koya and Rm, one where they were being way more logical than emotional, trying to be fair to Rm but forgetting themselves in the mix. They felt as though they couldn't compare in some ways, they still feel less accomplished, not attached to the masculine energy within them enough to work towards what they want. They have the love, the full cup, but they've missed a lot of the physical and material opportunities to push themselves forward. The reason of them missing these opportunities is this deep engrained need to hide and shelter themselves, to be sneaky and strategic with their energy and presence due to childhood trauma related to being harmed due to simply being perceived. The are healing, receiving help and are coming out of a bad financial spot though, thankfully. They are trying to stay positive, to keep the hope and keep wishing, but they are probably one more bad news away from another more severe crashout. It's like they are trying to hold themselves together with a kindergarteners arts and craft project. I love when the cards confirm each other because it does seem like they've both made this pact to work with each other to take all steps necessary towards each other, including I'm hearing promising to send specific signs to each other?
The wheel of fate is in their favor here, I'm also hearing "fortune favors the bold" so perhaps they have to do something bold and out of the box that they would never think to do in a million years. It feels as though, currently, they are powerless against stopping themselves from making these leaps of faith, the only problem being is that they lack direction, could be making a leap of faith and land on the same exact spot honestly. Regardless, they are working towards and will achieve this harmonious reunification that they are looking for, unfortunately they will have to go within themselves and clear out the weeds, dust off the old books to find the keys they are missing, which, they don't want to do. They just have to grit their teeth and bear it because their success is right around the corner. They could possibly be an up and coming star/celebrity, about to put themselves on the line for the first time. It may happen in a place where there is no competition though, only camaraderie or, them having to submit to the energy and let it slingshot them forward.
So... things are not good... Thankfully the high priestess is here, indicating that they know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it. It seems like the rift that happened has yet to be healed, it seems as though Koya is still somewhat worried? They feel incredibly sad, theres this heavy energy so possibly oppressed as well. It seems as though they did not want to be financially dependent on their partner. It definitely seems as though this rift was caused by unrealistic expectations or fears from Koya, possibly worrying about their place in Rm's life and what it'd mean for them, it seems like this was definitely spurred on by childhood trauma wounds reopening. They did not feel all that in control, they felt as though they were manipulated by something in there personal life, tricked, or lacking mental clarity about something due to this heavy "weight of the world" energy that bled over into their connection with Rm. It's as though they deceived themselves by diving into places they knew they shouldn't go, spurring anxiety and causing their own intuition to be blocked. It slowed down the progress a whole lot and as I mentioned before, they had some sort of divine messages that wanted to come in but couldn't because of their mental state. They are aware of this, I mean, became aware of this after some time, after solving the riddles the Sphinx left behind, Now they're left feeling rather- like a pin cushion if you will. They need some time to heal as it seems as though their trust is still shaky here. They're thankfully no longer spiraling, rather going with the flow, not putting up a resistance to the change that needs to happen. They are painfully aware of how gullible they were though. It seems as though with the hierophant that they are slowly overcoming this through reconnecting with the divine. They could be a reader or someone who is spiritual and has access to the keys at the feet of the hierophant to unlock the necessary doors. They just have to focus on their hopes, dreams and wishes while they are being rushed forward.
The skunk reminds us that there are alternative solutions, to rely on our resourcefulness while the salamander encourages us to partake in the alchemical process. It seems to me our dear Koya needs to turn to their resourcefulness to find an alternate solution to the blockages their facing, perhaps the solution is to simply turn their woes into their power. The imposing moose shows us the obstacles at hand, and the possibility of giving something too much power over us, while the boar is the destroyer, our self sabotage. OOf that felt like a call out to myself lmfao anywho, Koya might be giving their fears way too much power over them, making them seem bigger than they appear which feeds into this cycle of sabotaging their own efforts. The kangaroo gives us raw energy, vitality, and optimism while the lion rekindles our relationship with the divine masculine and father. It reads to me that Koya is needing to really tap into their optimism here to heal their relationship with the idea of the father as well as their divine masculine energy of action. The lizard warns us the repetition of cycles and unlearned lessons, the squirrel encourages us to build proper work life balances and prepare for the future. It seems as though Koya is in a pivotal moment in their life. They're needing to recognize the patterns in their life and put an end to the repetition, create a better work life schedule in order to prepare for their future. Good luck to them!
Their songs are Crybaby by SZA, Liquid Smooth by Mitski, I Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier, I'm Right Here by Young Spirit, 911/ Mr. Lonely by Tyler, The Creator Ft Frank Ocean and Steve Lacy, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore (again???), Son of a Gun by Lord Huron, Way Down We Go by KALEO, San Luis by Gregory Alan Isakov, Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish, Daylight by Harry styles, Please Be Rude by Gigi Perez.
Songs they want to send to each other
Rm: Chemicals by Gregory Alan Isakov, Let It Go by James Bay, Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, come out and play by Billie Eilish (help?), Georgia by Vance Joy, It Will Come Back by Hozier (HELP? HELLO?)
Koya: I Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier, To Be Alone by Hozier, SWEET/I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE by Tyler, The Creator ft Brent Faiyaz & Fana Hues, Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish (chile- so anyways), Washing Machine Heart by Mitski, First Time by Hozier.
origamiaround
amandla
gracieabrams
germansingergirl
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
