is this what it feels like to be a god?

[consumedivine]

"you wanna know about my father? no fucking comment."

consumedivine; a study in growing up in the limelight, embracing the monster within, and being punished for the sins of the father.

(independent&fandomless vampire original character. established august 2023. written by Mel. she/her/30/EST. sideblog to holyfailed. making the switch over to beta editor only. due to the nature of this blog and the themes that will be present, i will only be following/interacting with those 21+. this blog will not, however, be mutually exclusive, affiliated with: goldshadows and open to more. carrd / pinterest / blogroll

template cred: the-ninth-house

[ncthandrake]

JACK O'CONNELL as REMMICK SINNERS (2025) dir. Ryan Coogler

[chalamet-chalamet]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[boingoalive1988]

if you ever feel safe please remember that im out there

[consumedivine]

@anthrcpophagi asked: [ SCOLD ]  for one muse to treat the other’s wounds they got from fighting over them. 

he's laughing. he can feel the way maren's hands are scrambling over his slick skin, pushing his t-shirt out of the way so she can get to the wound where he'd been stabbed and he just can't stop laughing, a matching red coating his teeth, but this doesn't belong to him. fair was fair was fair.

"baby, it's okay." he tries to reassure her through choked snorts, his laughter kicking up again as he looks past her shoulder into the unseeing eyes of the man who thought he was going to get between asher and maren. the man who thought he was playing hero, that he was the one making the other girl uncomfortable. an idea so ridiculous, the vampire still couldn't hold in his mirth.

he'd made such a dire miscalculation tonight. no one got between them.

he's trying to catch his girl's eyes as she's shushing him and shoving her balled up cardigan up against the ragged skin of his abdomen and he thinks that she's not really here with him right now, that she's in another room with another boy spilling his lifeblood between her fingers and that just won't do. he's not as gentle as he should be when his hand dives into her hair, smearing his own blood and the other's onto her cheek and the strands when he drags her face back up to his and crushes his mouth to hers, sharing the taste.

there you are. stay with me.

"baby, baby, it's okay. it's already healing. go. take him. i want you to feed."

[taggedmemes]

NON-SEXUAL FORMS OF INTIMACY! prompts taken from this tumblr post. as always, feel free to tweak these as needed, take care, and have fun!

[ HUG ] for our muses to hug

[ HAND ] for our muses to hold hands

[ WATCH ] for our muses to watch tv / movies together

[ DATE ] for our muses to go on a date (dealers choice!)

[ SHARE ] for our muses to share a drink / dessert

[ MEAL ] for our muses to share some other kind of food together

[ TALK ] for our muses to have a deep conversation

[ CALL ] for our muses to call / video chat

[ DETAIL ] for one muse to tell the other a personal detail about themselves

[ LAY ] for one muse to lay their head on the others shoulder

[ ARM ] for our muses to link arms while they walk

[ TOUCH ] for one muse to give the other a massage

[ TICKLE ] for one muse to tickle the other!

[ SMILE ] for our muses to share a knowing look

[ PLAY ] for one muse to play with / brush / braid the other’s hair

[ TRACE ] for one muse to trace patterns on the others skin

[ NOTE ] for one muse to leave a handwritten note for the other

[ HEART ] for one muse to rest their head on the others chest and listen to their heartbeat

[ MUSIC ] for our muses to sing / play instruments together

[ DANCE ] for our muses to dance together 

[ FEED ] for one muse to feed the other

[ DRAW ] for one muse to draw / write on the other

[ COOK ] for our muses to cook a meal together

[ READ ] for our muses to read next to one another

[ TREAT ] for our muses to do a face mask / paint their nails / etc together

[ SICK ] for one muse to take care of the other while they’re sick

[ SCRATCH ] for one muse to give the other head scratches

[ SLEEP ] for our muses to just sleep next to each other

[ KISS ] for one muse to put butterfly kisses all over the others face

[ ZEN ] for our muses to meditate together

[ STORY ] for one muse to tell the other a story, true or otherwise

[ BATH ] for our muses to bathe together

[ RELAX ] for our muses to have a relaxed, vulnerable moment together ( dealers choice!)

[ CRY ] for one muse to cry in the others presence

[ TRIP ] for our muses to take a trip together

[ MINE ] for one muse to wear something belonging to the other

[ HELP ] for one muse to accompany the other to an important appointment

[ ART ] for our muses to make art together

[ FUTURE ] for our muses to discuss the future and what they want from life

[ GAME ] for our muses to play a game together

[ TALK ] for one muse to bring up an important conversation they’ve been meaning to have 

[ YOU ] for one muse to compliment the other 

[ JOKE ] for our muses to share an inside joke

[ EAT ] for our muses to go out to eat together

[ ACCEPT ] for one muse to reassure the other that something they worry about is fine, and they love and accept them completely.

[mcflymemes]

"I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for potentially romantic thoughts, adjust as necessary

you've been on my mind for quite some time.

do you think about me that way?

i was just thinking about you, and here you are!

i've been meaning to tell you how often you've been on my mind.

from the moment we met, i haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

you've consumed my thoughts.

i'm not actually supposed to think about you.

i can't get you out of my head.

you've been in my dreams lately.

speak of the devil! i was just thinking about you!

everywhere i go, everything i do... it always reminds me of you.

i don't know how to stop thinking about you.

do you ever think about that moment we shared?

have you ever thought about me like that?

i think about you a lot, actually. more than i'd like to admit.

i've thought long and hard about what i'd say to you once i saw you again.

yes, i've had dreams about you. so what?

you make it very hard to think about anything else.

when i look at you, my mind goes blank.

i tend to dwell on the softer moments we had back then.

those were good times we shared. i think about them a lot.

think about the last time we crossed paths.

you've constantly been on my mind.

i saw you in my dreams last night.

i would hope you'd think of me the same way i think of you.

nothing could have prepared me for how often i think of you.

this is just a childish infatuation, nothing more. i have to stop thinking about it.

i haven't stopped thinking about the last thing you said to me.

i can't focus around you.

maybe i should be focusing my efforts elsewhere, but i can't. not with you around.

you've taken over every thought in my mind.

maybe they're thinking about you, too.

no matter how hard i try, i can't seem to stop thinking about you.

surely you don't think of me the same way.

what you said to me... it's mattered more to me than you know.

day and night, i'm constantly thinking about you.

your smile is glued to my mind. i can't stop thinking about it.

i replay the day we met in my head all the time.

you're irritatingly easy to dream about.

i just keep hearing your words repeating in my head all day.

so i've been thinking about what you said.

a little bird told me you've been dreaming about me.

does anyone else know you've been thinking about me?

i can't tell if this is obsession or love that i'm feeling.

from the moment you looked at me, i've been consumed.

when was the last time someone took over your thoughts to this level?

just the person i wanted to see! i've been thinking about you!

it's actually quite annoying how often i think about you.

you make it very hard to focus on what i'm supposed to be doing.

you're distracting me. please leave.

have you thought about me at all?

have you considered what i said the last time we spoke?

[consumedivine]

i miss the boy

[consumedivine]

I need to put this on his carrd but @anthrcpophagi is fully exclusive on this blog. I won't be writing Ash with any other Maren's or Taylor Russell face claims.

[elenaxmariearchive-blog]

it’s all fun in games until a human starts a relationship with an immortal being. 

[anthrcpophagi]

“It’s not a threat if I mean it.” Maren knew it was a bluff, and she was sure that Asher knew it too. She’d never leave, not on her own accord. She’d let him bleed her dry before she left for good. She’d let him tear her apart before she was willing to be alone again.

A part of her is scared of him, of what he might do—of what he could do. But a larger part of her feels too attached to him to care what he did. The fear is exciting, and she feels like an adrenaline junkie. She wants to step away from him, to turn away so she didn’t have to look into his eyes. She doesn’t want him to see all the words unsaid lurking behind her eyes. But she remains standing, a feeble attempt at defiance. It’s moments like this that she realizes just how different they truly were from one another. Maren swallows, meeting his gaze with a meek pout.

“You loved it so much that you saved a picture of her?” She felt stupid. It was just a picture. It was just a girl, a kill, and yet the fire of envy still sizzled in her chest. Maren hardly remembers her first kill. She was too young to have remembered, the only bits and pieces of memories pasted together from fragments of what her Mama had told her. If there had been a news article about Penny, Maren might’ve kept it, too. It made sense, so why did she feel so desperate for his attention?

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about her? I told you about Lee.” Saying his name feels like a sin, and she’s not afraid of the consequences in the moment. She’d told him after he’d found out on his own, but that wasn’t the point. The point was she’d told him what he wanted to know, while he kept his past hidden from her. Didn’t she deserve to know? Or was she overthinking her place in his life? How many other things did she not know about his past?

He’s told her the unimportant things. She was dead, which ought to have been a relief. His words try to explain the situation, yet her mind focuses on all the wrong things. He knows too much about her for her to have been a careless, one-time endeavor. And while he’s tip-toed around the question deftly enough, she can’t help but dwell on the one issue gnawing at the inside of her chest.

“Did you love her?” Like you love me? She wants to add, but thinks better of it. The last thing she needs in this moment is him telling Maren that he did. Or worse, that he didn’t love her the way she thought he did.

[consumedivine]

"Stop it, Maren. You can't leave me. Just like I couldn't leave you." Though his words sound confident, his hands land on the wall on either side of her, keeping her boxed in against the wall like she might run just to spite him. He's angry that in this, they're so far apart. That Maren doesn't understand why he might want to remember that moment when if anyone should, it's her.

"Yeah, I loved it that fucking much. It was like...getting high." He'd rather not remind her of that part of his past before he had turned, just how familiar he had been with that sensation and how he had chased it to drown everything else out. "But with none of the harsh come down, none of the regret. It was just a perfect moment. And then it was over and she was dead and I have nothing left of that moment but that clipping."

Why hadn't he told her? Probably because this was nothing even close to comparable to him finding out about Lee. Lee had had Maren's heart before Asher had. Kara had gotten nothing more from Asher than a dignified repositioning of her corpse. It hadn't even been about the woman, but about the act, about his baptism into his new life.

"Jesus, no, I didn't love her. I only knew her for a night, Maren. I never loved anyone until I met you."

[anthrcpophagi]

"I wasn't going through shit, I just found it. But you're not answering the question." Discovering the photo had felt like a punch to the gut. Her cheeks felt hot and it felt like her body was a live wire, ready to shock anyone who came too close. He was immortal. Of course there had been other girls, just like there had been other guys for her. It would've been stupid of her to think there hadn't been. But seeing her face was different. Knowing others existed didn't hurt when she could imagine their faces. When she didn't know their names or anything about them. But to see her face staring up at her from the newspaper clipping filled her with an ire she hadn't felt in a long time.

Maren hesitates, the sound of her heartbeat nearly deafening. Was this how it ended? Was this the final straw that broke them apart? She was a jealous person, that wasn't new information. But she'd never been truly spiteful before. Had she? When Lee had told her about his past affairs, she'd felt envious but not angry. With Ash, though, she couldn't ignore the way her fists clenched and tears sprung to her eyes.

After a moment, she lets out a defeated sigh and storms back into the house, feverishly wiping away tears as they fell. She didn't know what he would say, or what he could say to put her mind at ease. Had he loved her? Had he turned her? Was Maren just a replacement for her the way he thought he'd been for Lee? She balls her fist and hits it against her temple, as though trying to knock the thought out of her mind before it had time to pollute her brain.

"Who is she?" Maren's words were slow, deliberate as she tried to stay calm amidst the wave of angry tears that spilled down her cheeks. "Tell me, or I'm leaving, Ash."

[consumedivine]

He's seconds from pulling her into the house himself before they start drawing unwanted attention from the neighbors. They were already pushing it on how many days they had stayed there and someone was bound to notice something was up soon. God, Maren wasn't usually the reckless one.

"Don't fucking threaten me, Maren," he growls after he follows her back inside, locking the door behind them and peeking out the window for a few seconds to see if anyone had been watching them.

She wasn't going to leave him. He knew that even if she didn't. They couldn't exist without each other any longer. She had to feel that too.

"Her name was Kara Rosemary Holland. She was a nurse at the hospital I ended up at when they thought I was dead." As he speaks, he stalks towards Maren, keeping his body between her and the door. He hates this. Hates peeling back the layers on something that had been solely his. Hates that Maren is the one making him do it.

"She was twenty seven. Parents divorced. Only child." He had memorized all the details about her that he could and he recites them now as he pushes closer, body language predatory.

"By every account, she was a good person. And I bit her anyway." He stands before the other unashamed. Maren has struggled with what she is, Asher has not.

"More than that, I fucking loved it. She was my first feed. And my first kill. It was....a godly experience."

[consumedivine]

continued from x | @anthrcpophagi

"Why were you going through my shit in the first place?" Was this payback? For finding out about Lee? At least that had been a genuine mistake while this seemed purposeful. He feels unsettled, agitated with Maren. She had taken a moment that had been reverent for him and made him feel like it was something he needed to apologize for, something dirty.

"She wasn't—I'm not fucking talking about this out here. Either come inside or let it the fuck go."

[candiceaccola]

[anthrcpophagi]

"Why wouldn't I be?" Staring up at him, she had to remind herself to breathe. The fact was she was hungry, and it was only a matter of time until she fed— with or without him. For so long she’d starved herself out of pride. She didn’t want to kill people. She didn’t want to be evil. But the longer she waited, the longer she went without eating, the more fierce the cravings got. It was better to hunt. It was better to stop it before it got out of control, to find someone warped enough to eat before someone innocent got caught between her jaws. "How do we find someone bad? You got a vampire sense for that, or something?"

[consumedivine]

Did she realize that this was the first time she had asked him to do something like this for her? And from his own eagerness, he was starting to think he'd been waiting for her to ask all along. He was a predator, moved up the food chain by his sire. This is what he was built for.

"Something like that." It wasn't hard to sniff out the taint of drugs on someone, or the smell of someone else's blood on a stranger, gunpowder from a hidden weapon. Even before he'd been turned, he'd always had a sense for this sort of thing. You had to be able to sense danger when nearly everyone you met wanted to use you in some way.

"I can find someone. You trust me?"

[consumedivine]

continued from x // @anthrcpophagi

Asher perked up where he was laying next to her, sprawled across the hotel bed he had sprung for after one of his last feeds had had a good amount of cash in his wallet. He was so fucking sick of the water pressure in shitty motels, he didn't even care that he was blowing the budget. A few people had looked at them sideways in the lobby due to their attire, but money talked louder.

In an instant, he's moved himself to hover over her, hands pressed into the mattress on either side of her head as he searched her expression. "You serious?"

All the previous times they had fed together had been more happenstance. He would get carried away and there was no reason to waste the rest when he knew Maren was aching for it, but this? She was actually asking him to hunt for her. It stirred something primal inside of him.

"I could find us someone. Someone bad." Maren would like that better.

[holyfailed]

should i make one spicy sideblog that covers this blog and all the other sideblogs or just don't even worry about it?

[holyfailed]

nevermind i did the thing.