HOLY SHIT OUTLANDER GOT ANNIE LENOX?!?
I was serious about checking out the bear.
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HOLY SHIT OUTLANDER GOT ANNIE LENOX?!?
I was serious about checking out the bear.
And for the last time, I'm gonna drink wine and bitch about Outlander.
I haven't watched more than a little bit of the TV show since season four. But, fuck it, let's (or, you know, just me) get drunk and watch the series finale.
OK, I'm about to hit play and before I do, you have to tell me: DOES ANYONE GET MURDERED BY A BEAR? I've read "Go Tell the Bees That I am Gone." I know Amy Higgins gets murdered by a bear and if I'm about to see that, you are required to tell me.
BASED ON THE PREVIOUSLY ON...
Yeah. The La Dame Blanche callback makes sense. It's like, Claire's whole thing (I SWEAR TO GOD IF JAMIE CALLS HER A WITCH AGAIN I'M GONNA KILL HIM AND IT'S THE SERIES FINALE).
Guessing the "we're your grandparents" bit has to do with the ridiculous Faith Lived storyline I head tell of. Whatever, Outlander.
Frank in his author photo can get it.
Blah blah blah we're headed to King's Mountain blah blah blah.
FUCK ME THEY'RE BURNING CROSSES AGAIN. I FUCKING TOLD THESE ASSHOLES TO KNOCK THAT SHIT OUT. JESUS FUCK, OUTLANDER.
The OG theme song is nice. Are these the first season credit edit again too? Looks like 'em.
I think one of my least popular TV show opinions is that the season two French theme is my fave. It whips.
and we're in it.
We're starting with the writing of a will? Really leaning into the "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" shit again.
Cranky: JAMMF's handwriting is too nice. Even more cranky: YOU THINK YOUR IDIOT NATURAL SON NEEDS THREE CASKS OF WHISKY?
My Beloved Queen Claire is still radiant as shit. Like staring at the sun. They totally gave up on aging these two and are just like ... lighter hair, still hot as fuck. (JUSTICE FOR CLAIRE'S GLASSES!)
"I don't think the quiet life was ever meant for us." LOL CLAIRE.
Too much bee talk. We get it. Make out already. The VASE? Really?
"Most egregious case of dickmitization" indeed.
And on that note, let's check in on Bree and Roger. They're building a house? Did he get hanged? He seems pretty normal? Shouldn't he be super fucked up? I've READ THE BOOKS.
We're doing Fanny shit and not for nothing I think the show took this to a really odd place so I'm gonna ignore it. It's giving, "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it." OK, like, why would they go to THIS IS FAITH-WHO-ACTUALLY-LIVED'S DAUGHTER just to ... ditch her in the finale? UGH. FAITH IS LIKE ONE OF CLAIRE'S PRIMARY CHARACTER TRAUMA'S IF SHE LIVED BUT NOT REALLY JUST WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK.
Why is this whole episode just two-shots? I guess we're wrapping up relationships but this is boring.
PART TWO!
Gonna need more wine. Like, Diana isn't the subtlest of writers ... but JESUS WHO WROTE THIS. I hate being a "the book was better" person in OUTLANDER. Remember when the TV show was ACTUALLY BETTER?
And now we're talking to the bees because this metaphor will not die. I will never tell a bee shit after this.
I'm at the 26 minute mark and they're FINALLY walking off to meet Jamie's doom. Can he die now?
JAMMF: "They're taking the higher ground."
MY DUMB BRAIN:
But I guess we're trapping them like rats, JUST LIKE FRANK'S BOOK SAYS. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN.)
Was this show always 100% exposition? Seriously. Was it? Didn't they used to, like, do things?
Bored now.
OK, I'm almost compelled by this convo by the creek ... YAY THEY'RE FINALLY MAKING OUT. Guess ya gotta give 'em a good one to go out on.
Am I allowed to be annoyed by the gratuitous face caressing? And the comically large and well-lit tent?
Keeping Murtaugh alive for three extra seasons was one of the best things the TV show did, and not for nothing if he was still around I think there'd be a lot more charm and a lot less ... pontificating.
Final goodbye, Claire speaks Gaelic. (She's a doctor and been at this dude for 40 years and only learned one phrase? C'mon.) I like the Lady of Shalott reference, bit more esoteric than Cassandra.
TBC.....
FIGHTING, FINALLY.
Big fan of shooting Redcoats. Get 'em, boys.
OK, Claire's in the med tent and gets bad vibes and runs off into battle to save her man or whatever... and then we hard cut to the little ladies on the Ridge shucking corn? I think I hate this show.
Question: Is Rachel Hunter cool on the show? She absolutely whips in the books and is one of my fave characters ... she has to be cool, right? And did Lizzy get her two husbands?
BAYONET CHARGE?!?
At this point the only two characters I know are Young Ian and JAMMF on the battlefield ... so all these dying dudes is like, whatever.
GO GET YOUR SUPPLY BAG, CLAIRE. IT WASN'T THAT FAR BEHIND YOU.
Jamie just had a moment with some dude and I have NO IDEA who it is. And I see Young Ian is still a psycho killer, so that tracks. Which guy is the Redcoat douche on a horse? Forgive me, I last read this book like three years ago. Also: WHY IS CLAIRE IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE AND WHY ARE THEY FIRING ON HER?
OK, JAMMF's still standing so I'm assuming this is a fake out. It will be very funny if he goes down from friendly fire.
Oh. There it is. Claire grasping her heart at the moment the bullet hit was a bit much.
Not for nothing, I'll bet she's saved folks from worse in the 1960s. She just needs her surgery bag!
I DESERVED TO KILL JAMIE MORE THAN THE REDCOAT DOUCHE. I'M THE ONE WHO HATES HIM THE MOST.
But, fine, Claire's gonna have a menty b and fix him, LET'S GO.
Roger trying to talk sense into Claire is funny because when has anyone ever been able to do that?
Bet: the shots of JAMMF looking at Claire in 1945 might be from the first season .... but the ones from Craig na Dun in the bright technicolor are DEFINITELY FRESH. I don't remember him wearing the hat in season one except in the 1945 ghost scene... yeah yeah yeah the forget-me-nots.
OK, the montage kinda got me. WE WERE ALL SO YOUNG THEN. And JAMMF better be remembering the best piece of ass ever to exist on Earth in his purgatory or last moments alive.
WHAT IN THE SOPRANOS-ASS ENDING.
I guess they both wake up so I'm not that mad.
(I knew about the post-credit scene and you know what, whatever. I'm charmed enough. Diana can get her laurels.)
But I'm mad enough that I'm gonna go watch Amy Higgins get mauled by a bear.
THE END.
And for the last time, I'm gonna drink wine and bitch about Outlander.
I haven't watched more than a little bit of the TV show since season four. But, fuck it, let's (or, you know, just me) get drunk and watch the series finale.
OK, I'm about to hit play and before I do, you have to tell me: DOES ANYONE GET MURDERED BY A BEAR? I've read "Go Tell the Bees That I am Gone." I know Amy Higgins gets murdered by a bear and if I'm about to see that, you are required to tell me.
BASED ON THE PREVIOUSLY ON...
Yeah. The La Dame Blanche callback makes sense. It's like, Claire's whole thing (I SWEAR TO GOD IF JAMIE CALLS HER A WITCH AGAIN I'M GONNA KILL HIM AND IT'S THE SERIES FINALE).
Guessing the "we're your grandparents" bit has to do with the ridiculous Faith Lived storyline I head tell of. Whatever, Outlander.
Frank in his author photo can get it.
Blah blah blah we're headed to King's Mountain blah blah blah.
FUCK ME THEY'RE BURNING CROSSES AGAIN. I FUCKING TOLD THESE ASSHOLES TO KNOCK THAT SHIT OUT. JESUS FUCK, OUTLANDER.
The OG theme song is nice. Are these the first season credit edit again too? Looks like 'em.
I think one of my least popular TV show opinions is that the season two French theme is my fave. It whips.
and we're in it.
We're starting with the writing of a will? Really leaning into the "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" shit again.
Cranky: JAMMF's handwriting is too nice. Even more cranky: YOU THINK YOUR IDIOT NATURAL SON NEEDS THREE CASKS OF WHISKY?
My Beloved Queen Claire is still radiant as shit. Like staring at the sun. They totally gave up on aging these two and are just like ... lighter hair, still hot as fuck. (JUSTICE FOR CLAIRE'S GLASSES!)
"I don't think the quiet life was ever meant for us." LOL CLAIRE.
Too much bee talk. We get it. Make out already. The VASE? Really?
"Most egregious case of dickmitization" indeed.
And on that note, let's check in on Bree and Roger. They're building a house? Did he get hanged? He seems pretty normal? Shouldn't he be super fucked up? I've READ THE BOOKS.
We're doing Fanny shit and not for nothing I think the show took this to a really odd place so I'm gonna ignore it. It's giving, "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it." OK, like, why would they go to THIS IS FAITH-WHO-ACTUALLY-LIVED'S DAUGHTER just to ... ditch her in the finale? UGH. FAITH IS LIKE ONE OF CLAIRE'S PRIMARY CHARACTER TRAUMA'S IF SHE LIVED BUT NOT REALLY JUST WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK.
Why is this whole episode just two-shots? I guess we're wrapping up relationships but this is boring.
PART TWO!
Gonna need more wine. Like, Diana isn't the subtlest of writers ... but JESUS WHO WROTE THIS. I hate being a "the book was better" person in OUTLANDER. Remember when the TV show was ACTUALLY BETTER?
And now we're talking to the bees because this metaphor will not die. I will never tell a bee shit after this.
I'm at the 26 minute mark and they're FINALLY walking off to meet Jamie's doom. Can he die now?
JAMMF: "They're taking the higher ground."
MY DUMB BRAIN:
But I guess we're trapping them like rats, JUST LIKE FRANK'S BOOK SAYS. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN.)
Was this show always 100% exposition? Seriously. Was it? Didn't they used to, like, do things?
Bored now.
OK, I'm almost compelled by this convo by the creek ... YAY THEY'RE FINALLY MAKING OUT. Guess ya gotta give 'em a good one to go out on.
Am I allowed to be annoyed by the gratuitous face caressing? And the comically large and well-lit tent?
Keeping Murtaugh alive for three extra seasons was one of the best things the TV show did, and not for nothing if he was still around I think there'd be a lot more charm and a lot less ... pontificating.
Final goodbye, Claire speaks Gaelic. (She's a doctor and been at this dude for 40 years and only learned one phrase? C'mon.) I like the Lady of Shalott reference, bit more esoteric than Cassandra.
TBC.....
And for the last time, I'm gonna drink wine and bitch about Outlander.
I haven't watched more than a little bit of the TV show since season four. But, fuck it, let's (or, you know, just me) get drunk and watch the series finale.
OK, I'm about to hit play and before I do, you have to tell me: DOES ANYONE GET MURDERED BY A BEAR? I've read "Go Tell the Bees That I am Gone." I know Amy Higgins gets murdered by a bear and if I'm about to see that, you are required to tell me.
BASED ON THE PREVIOUSLY ON...
Yeah. The La Dame Blanche callback makes sense. It's like, Claire's whole thing (I SWEAR TO GOD IF JAMIE CALLS HER A WITCH AGAIN I'M GONNA KILL HIM AND IT'S THE SERIES FINALE).
Guessing the "we're your grandparents" bit has to do with the ridiculous Faith Lived storyline I head tell of. Whatever, Outlander.
Frank in his author photo can get it.
Blah blah blah we're headed to King's Mountain blah blah blah.
FUCK ME THEY'RE BURNING CROSSES AGAIN. I FUCKING TOLD THESE ASSHOLES TO KNOCK THAT SHIT OUT. JESUS FUCK, OUTLANDER.
The OG theme song is nice. Are these the first season credit edit again too? Looks like 'em.
I think one of my least popular TV show opinions is that the season two French theme is my fave. It whips.
and we're in it.
We're starting with the writing of a will? Really leaning into the "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" shit again.
Cranky: JAMMF's handwriting is too nice. Even more cranky: YOU THINK YOUR IDIOT NATURAL SON NEEDS THREE CASKS OF WHISKY?
My Beloved Queen Claire is still radiant as shit. Like staring at the sun. They totally gave up on aging these two and are just like ... lighter hair, still hot as fuck. (JUSTICE FOR CLAIRE'S GLASSES!)
"I don't think the quiet life was ever meant for us." LOL CLAIRE.
Too much bee talk. We get it. Make out already. The VASE? Really?
"Most egregious case of dickmitization" indeed.
And on that note, let's check in on Bree and Roger. They're building a house? Did he get hanged? He seems pretty normal? Shouldn't he be super fucked up? I've READ THE BOOKS.
We're doing Fanny shit and not for nothing I think the show took this to a really odd place so I'm gonna ignore it. It's giving, "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it." OK, like, why would they go to THIS IS FAITH-WHO-ACTUALLY-LIVED'S DAUGHTER just to ... ditch her in the finale? UGH. FAITH IS LIKE ONE OF CLAIRE'S PRIMARY CHARACTER TRAUMA'S IF SHE LIVED BUT NOT REALLY JUST WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK.
Why is this whole episode just two-shots? I guess we're wrapping up relationships but this is boring.
And for the last time, I'm gonna drink wine and bitch about Outlander.
I haven't watched more than a little bit of the TV show since season four. But, fuck it, let's (or, you know, just me) get drunk and watch the series finale.
OK, I'm about to hit play and before I do, you have to tell me: DOES ANYONE GET MURDERED BY A BEAR? I've read "Go Tell the Bees That I am Gone." I know Amy Higgins gets murdered by a bear and if I'm about to see that, you are required to tell me.
And for the last time, I'm gonna drink wine and bitch about Outlander.
I haven't watched more than a little bit of the TV show since season four. But, fuck it, let's (or, you know, just me) get drunk and watch the series finale.
reasons claire elizabeth beauchamp randall fraser should stay in the future
i wrote this for li.st app during one of my first runs through the outlander books, but then it got ruined and then shut down. i’m super into outlander — the books and the tv show — but i have a lot of concerns. spoiler alert, obviously.
Let’s start with the obvious counterpoint: Yes, Jaime is super hot. I get it. So hot. So charming. So noble. All the sex. Much kilts. True love. Yadda yadda yadda.
BUT… The past is terrible. SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.
Keep reading
The most egregious case of dicktimization, indeed.
Not for nothing, I’ve been saying this for years.
OK. “Blood of My Blood.”
Do I … need to be trash for this?
Goddamn it, Outlander.
OK EVERYONE
OUTLANDER IS MAKING CANON THE FAITH LIVES THEORY THAT HAS BEEN KICKING AROUND THE INTERNET FOR 20+ YEARS
AND I AM
SO
HERE
FOR
IT
I AM SORRY BUT WHAT.
Medical Doctor Attempts to Make Penicillin | Outlander Makes
CLAIRE: Hey everyone, I’m Claire, we’re on Fraser’s Ridge and today we’re making …. penicillin!
PART ONE: WHAT IS PENICILLIN?
CLAIRE: Penicillin has been on my list for Outlander Makes for a very long time, almost since the beginning. It’s one of my favorite medicines. I just love that it can kill bacteria and save lives. It has that unique property of being made from mold, and I think it will be a cool learning opportunity for me because I just love penicillin.
Penicillin is effective against staphylococci and streptococci bacteria, some of the most common bacterial infections seen on the Ridge. It was the first modern antibiotic, which I suppose is relative. But penicillin itself comes from a secretion of molds in the genus Penicillium.
I can’t believe how much Outlander Makes makes me think about my university science classes.
It’s time for my favorite part: reading the ingredients. And wow, this is a short list: benzylpenicillin.
Time to go do some research. All of which is stored in my brain because it’s 1771 and penicillin won’t be officially discovered for 157 years.
Anyways, molds have been used to fight infections since ancient times. There’s evidence ancient peoples in Egypt, Greece and India used certain fungi and molds in their medicine, according to my Uncle Lamb’s research. But penicillin as I know it, in the future, was first discovered in a bread mold in 1928 by a Scot named Andrew Flemming, but then it wouldn’t be used in human medicine until 1942.
So, I think I’m going to start with bread. But the mold spores are just in the air, and there’s no reason another food couldn’t be a growing medium. So we’ll just have to see what works best. I’m excited. I think this is going to work.
PART TWO: HOW DO YOU MAKE PENICILLIN?
CLAIRE: I’ve got a whole bunch of extra bread, so I’m going to tear it up and leave it out and see what it grows. Marsali is also out collecting food scraps from the other settlers, things destined for the pig trough, that we’ll test as well.
I’m tempted to put my samples under glass cloches to keep mice and bugs and other pests out, but I’m concerned that they will prevent mold spores in the air from getting to the bread, so we’re going to try both.
MRS. BUG: She’s gone mad, she has. Up all night baking more bread than the Lord when he fed the multitudes with the loaves and fishes.
BRIANA: Woah. You’re not planning to eat all that, are you?
CLAIRE: No, I’m going to let it go moldy.
MRS. BUG: What a terrible waste.
BRIANA: Please tell me you’re being sarcastic.
CLAIRE: What, me? Never. I’m making penicillin.
BRIANA: Then Mrs. Bug is right, you have lost your mind. You can’t do that.
CLAIRE: Yes, I can. And not just with bread, we’re going to test other food scraps too. Then, we’ll find the right strain.
BRIANA: This is dangerous. What if it messes with some cosmic balance? Or breaks some rule of space and time? Isn’t this playing God?
CLAIRE: I change the future every time I save a life here. And now I’m going to do it even better. So, time, space, history be damned.
See, now all the bread is set up. Marsali will be back soon, and we’ll set up her scraps the same way, and then we wait.
THREE DAYS LATER
CLAIRE: It’s a little dark in here because I wanted to keep the samples out of the sun. The bread and other samples have been left to mold for three days, and now we’re going to check and see how it went. I’m in that delusionally optimistic headspace where I think this might work on the first try.
I’m looking for a blue-green mold, maybe with a white outer ring. I’ve got my microscope and candles ready, so I can examine the mold more closely. What I don’t want is Aspergillus, another type of mold that grows under similar conditions but is very toxic and instead of curing infections would actually … kill my patients faster. So, if we see any fuzzier molds that are green, gray or black, that would be bad.
So, on a few of these samples I very clearly lost the battle against ants and some mice. The ones under the cloches fared better, but there’s not yet anything that looks like mold yet. This is going to take longer than I thought.
In the meantime, I’m going to work on the incubation medium that I’ll use to make even more penicillin once we grow the mold — which, we absolutely will. And for that I need Jamie.
JAMIE: Yes, Sassenach?
CLAIRE: Could you go kill me something I can make into broth?
JAMIE: You canna slaughter a chicken yourself?
CLAIRE: I can, but could you just help out for the common good? And if you don’t want to kill a chicken you could go hunt something else, right?
JAMIE: Claire, what if you waste all this food and you don’t get your medicine?
CLAIRE: I want you to know I can accept zero criticism right now.
JAMIE: Then I’ll be back with some meat for your broth.
FOUR DAYS LATER
CLAIRE: It’s day three! Well, it’s been a week but it’s day three of work. No, there’s no curse. Stop trying to make a day three curse happen.
Jamie shot a goose, and Bree plucked it for me, and Mrs. Bug made it into this broth. I’ve got to check out our bread and food samples and see if any Penicillium molds have grown. And … there are a lot of molds here! Turns out more than one mold can grow on bread. I’m looking for the classic blue-green color, and there is more than just blue-green here. This pie crust did a little better — see the white outer ring, and there’s no black, like on this bread sample. This is promising.
If I remember my textbooks correctly, Penicillium will look like a stalk of wheat with a branched end under the microscope. If the end is more like a fuzzy ball, it’s the killer Aspergillus mold that I talked about earlier. I’m going to make slides and see if I can positively identify any of these as penicillin.
TWO HOURS LATER
CLAIRE: OK, I’m down to the last two slides, and so far it’s a big fat nothing.
ROGER: What is going well right now?
CLAIRE: Nothing. This whole thing is a disaster. If these don’t have the right mold, I’ve wasted this whole week and all this food and will have to start over.
ROGER: Oh.
CLAIRE: Say a prayer, Roger. And…. got them. I was right about the pie crust — that’s definitely a Penicillium colony growing. I love it when I’m good at stuff.
ROGER: We all knew you could do it.
CLAIRE: Bree thinks I’m breaking the time-space continuum, but there it is! That’s penicillin!
So, my next step is to prepare the incubation mediums. I’ve got the broth Mrs. Bug kindly prepared, and I’m going to strain it and then boil it. I also need to sterilize the bowls, so I’m boiling some water for that. And then I have these muslin cloths that I’ve also boiled and air dried as best as I could, which will keep things like insects, bugs, mice and other critters out. It’s nearly impossible to achieve true sterility in these conditions, but it’s important to try.
And then I’m going to use these confirmed Penicillium samples and use a sterilized knife to put them into the broth to incubate. The thing about penicillin is that the mold itself isn’t antibiotic, but the mold’s secretions, so that’s what I’m trying to produce and capture.
So, I’ll leave this to do its thing. We’ll check back in a few more days.
ONE DAY LATER
CLAIRE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE OF THE CHILDREN GOT IN HERE AND KNOCKED OVER ONE OF THE BOWLS?
THREE DAYS LATER
CLAIRE: ADSO! GET AWAY FROM THERE! NO, STOP DRINKING IT!
JAMIE: Are you done with your experiment, Sassenach?
CLAIRE: Noooo. I can’t believe that you can’t sense right now that I am not in a good place.
JAMIE: Oh.
CLAIRE: I guess it’s time to check the remaining bowls and see how incubation went. Like with the bread and food samples, I’m looking for Penicillium’s distinctive blue-green coloring with a white ring around the outside. So, the first bowl: nope, that’s not it. See those hairy, green clumps that look like submerged sea beasts? It could be another mold, bacterium, or maybe a colonial alga, but it’s not at all what I’m looking for.
But this second one, yes, this looks promising. See the colony in there? Looks like Penicillium to me. And, it’s worked in two more of these bowls. Three out of six isn’t a terrible average, even if two of my bowls got canned.
I’m going to have to check under the microscope again to be sure, but I’m, like 98 percent sure that’s it. I’ll strain the broth once more, to get the solid mold parts out. It’s the mold’s secretions you want, not the mold itself.
JAMIE: So what you’ve got there is broth that the mold has pissed in, is that right?
CLAIRE: Well, if you insist on putting it that way, yes. This was so much work, and it’s so unsure. This is a huge advancement in medicine for this time. It was way easier to mix up gentian ointment, or to set up the beehives, but maybe it was less satisfying. Is it better to not work that hard and not be that satisfied or to work really hard and be exhausted and somewhat more satisfied? I don’t know. Basically, there’s no way to win.
PART THREE: HOW TO MAKE PENICILLIN
CLAIRE: Here’s how you make penicillin.
Tear up pie crust and other food scraps, including bread, and leave them out to mold under glass cloches for five to seven days, keeping the cultures out of direct sunlight and away from pests. When the food starts to mold, identify Penicillium by its coloring and then under a microscope, looking for the mold’s distinctive branching pattern. Use a sterilized knife to distribute samples of your Penicillium into sterilized bowls of strained and boiled broth that has been cooled. Cover with sterilized muslin cloths and leave to incubate for several days. To use, check that broth has grown more Penicillium mold, by both the mold’s coloring and by shape under magnification. Strain the mold out of the broth, and use it to treat infection.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY CLAIRE SAFFITZ IS DOING GOURMET MAKES AGAIN.
The only thing I have to say about “A Discovery of Witches” is that Mr. Vampire Matthew de Clairwhatever needs ANGER MANAGEMENT.
Two more things, actually.
1. I WAS RIGHT.
I still can’t believe I called, like, the entire conflict of the whole trilogy half a book in. I was sooooooooo right.
2. Re: Gallowglass. I CAN FIX HIM.
God damn it.
You know it's true what they say, how happy is the blameless vestal's lot.
Will anything ever bring us as much joy and comedic bliss as the reveal of Jason Mendoza? Will I ever feel as alive as I did in that moment when Jason utters the words "heaven is so racist"? Will there ever be a moment in time that slaps me so hard in the face with surprise as the moment Jianu the monk rapidly turns into Jason the Jacksonville dirtbag? Will we as a society ever capture that kind of magic again?
NO REALLY WILL IT?
It's my 6 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
OH FUCK ME.